#idk if this is interesting to anyone else or if it’s just like the obvious storyline of tit but i just wanted to write it out anyways
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not-poignant · 9 hours ago
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Assumption: You have never ridden a horse.
Oooo, this is a fun one, salkfjas
I have! I've ridden more than one horse, more than once.
(Actual storytime) (This is from the Assumptions meme!)
In late highschool and in the few years after I had a close friend who owned a horse (Billy) and agisted him, and was responsible for him. She basically was allowed to get him when she got her driver's license.
I was the kind of friend (and still kind of am, energy willing) that you could drag around to all your chores and I'd just be there. So I'd be there when she went shopping. I would be there when she went to get horse food. I would be there when she did homework. I would be there when she went to visit her horse and brush him down and feed him etc.
I helped with basic chores and watched from the sidelines and mostly hung out with her dog, Huskee, who was not a husky, but a borderline collie x corgi who barked nonstop at that horse, who she alas, could not herd.
Through this friend I actually learned about Natural Horsemanship, to the point where I actually went to a couple of Pat Parelli seminars (run by Pat) in like 2000/2001. It was the thing that really sparked my interest in animal training, especially humane, fear free animal training (and clicker training specifically, since Pat was teaching marker training at the time, and said friend started using it on their dog, Huskee).
I never rode, for a long time, because I was happy on the sidelines, and also I went there so my friend could ride her horse, not so I could like, steal her horse out from under her lol. I don't think her horse liked me very much anyway (later I'd find out that was pretty much true, it was a zero respect relationship, maybe he knew I was a doormat lmao).
Anyway, said friend had another friend who was extremely horse intense, and she got her own horse (Coda) , that she then never really took the time to ride. Coda was kind of nuts. Billy was the kind of horse who walked so slow you felt like you were going backwards, Coda had one speed: gallop. Coda and Billy got on great.
But Coda was pretty neglected, and so I often spent time with him while my friend did her chores with Billy. I was used to bringing out food, or changing water etc. so I did that for Coda sometimes. And after a while, friend was like 'it would be cool if we could trail ride together, how about you learn on Billy first since he's so slow and sedate.' And friend was like 'I'll ride Coda because I have more experience.' This made sense! She wanted me to stay safe!! But...
Billy was slow, sedate, and did not give a shit about me. This is a horse that stepped on my feet (on purpose), who deliberately angled towards low-hanging branches to scrape me off the saddle (hilarious, but also not really), and made it clear how much he wasn't interested in anyone else riding him in the most passive aggressive way a horse possibly can.
Coda, on the other hand, had a reputation for being wild and unstable. He'd tossed multiple riders more than once, hadn't been trained with Natural Horsemanship (like...kind of? But not really) and was not halter-broke by the time friend-of-friend got him, so just getting him to accept a halter and a saddle at all was huge, and anything beyond that was like 'welp, good luck.'
However, it was obvious trying to do anything with me and Billy was not going to work out. So...Coda it was.
And idk how to explain it, but Coda and I just got along. It was on the other hand terrifying, because his default movement was 'canter' and all he wanted to do, all he wanted to do, was gallop up and down granite hills as quickly as possible and spook at fucking everything. It wasn't his fault, he wasn't taken out much and he had that kind of personality. He once saw a kangaroo in the distance and spun a full 360 degrees, and I ended up half off him, hanging on for dear life, while friend just stared at me and said: 'how did you not fall off, that was insane. You might actually be good at this.'
Well. No, I wasn't, I just had a good grip, lmao.
So we went on extremely stressful trail rides together. Billy thankfully curbed some of Coda's GOTTA GO FAST instincts but only to a point, so I had to be pretty hypervigilant nonstop because that dude bunched his hindquarters what felt like every ten seconds, and I can't really blame him, it's what he loved to do most. He was just a terrible horse to learn to ride on, lmao, even if we did get along.
I haven't ridden since and honestly haven't felt much of an inclination to. I'd be too heavy now anyway. And I'm pretty certain I'd be bad at it. When your first experience is 'placid horse who generally accepts everyone but stares at you in a desultory manner and makes sure you know - while feeding him / brushing him / watering him etc. - that you do not matter in the grand scheme of things' followed by 'I like you! NOW I WILL FLING MYSELF DOWN THIS GRANITE HILL WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE ARE ALL SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT AND NOT FEAR' you think 'actually I don't need to ride the murder ponies, it's fine.'
Anyway, yeah, I have ridden a horse.
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tesseractingrey · 18 days ago
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After seeing TIT in Philly, I’ve been pondering on the power of “light entertainment,” as Phil defines it, and why we all watch Dan and Phil. It’s one of the main messages of the show, and so maybe this is all obvious to everyone else, but I would like to yap more on the subject and so I will.
They explore in the show if they should be doing what other content creators do and come to the conclusion that no, that doesn’t work for them. And through their solo monologues they reveal that they aren’t really looking to grow significantly and have mainstream appeal, they really just are happy with us and where they’re at. Their content sometimes is quite funny and as much as we enjoy seeing the parts of the relationship that they want to show us, it’s so much less about whether the truth of their relationship is what we Want it to be or not and more about the fact that they feel comfortable sharing any amount of truth with us. We enjoy their relationship not because we want them to be any sort of way, but because they are happy and that happiness fills their videos these days. Their content is safe and happy, it’s that “warm feeling inside,” and the community they’ve cultivated is the same.
Something we teachers talk about sometimes is who has That Thing. There’s some indefinable Thing that some teachers have and some don’t. When you have it, kids just naturally listen better and trust you quicker and form stronger relationships with you. It sounds crazy spelled out like that, but I know some very experienced and smart teachers who don't have That Thing, and see how kids behave with them versus with a teacher who does, and the difference is palpable, if logically inexplicable.
Whatever That Thing is, Dan and Phil have it for content creation. There's something magnetic about them that draws us in and makes us feel warm and safe and we've built an amazing community together around that. I think That Thing is part of why they are where they are where they are, even though their content is mainly just gay banter with some light gaming mixed in these days. It’s not a perverse and invasive fascination with their personal lives that draws us to them, it’s just them, as they truly are, that makes their content special. As much as we do enjoy seeing their relationship, it’s more in a “providing enrichment in our enclosure” way than a “this is what drew me in and the only reason I’m here” type thing, especially these days. I love their love, but I love their happiness even more.
I’m glad that they are so happy and comfortable now with their lives and continuing to make content, because I look forward to continuing to watch it, in whatever form it may take. I don’t know how I ever lived without this warm feeling inside, and I hope to keep enjoying it for a while. It’s light entertainment and there IS value in that, not everything has to be insanely deep or emotionally devastating to be worthy of our love, but it’s not JUST light entertainment, it matters that They are the ones doing the entertaining. Maybe it’s just parasociality, but I do think we’ve got something special here, and I think they’re something special.
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tsxkkis · 5 months ago
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# tsukishima kei - perfect match
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a/n: watch me suddenly appear out of nowhere after the school year has finally ended to post something!! i'm sure absolutely no one is surprised that tsukishima is the centre of this fic, but tbh idk how to feel about it (it's definitely longer than my usual ones but i didn't proofread it, so idk if the lenght is an advantage or not) but i hope you'll like it ^^ with school being over for the next two months i'll finally have time to write, so expect more works soon!!
summary: you and tsukishima decide to help your friends get together, but the plan is long forgotten when you realize what your own feelings are.
warnings: nothing really, canon yamayachi (my loves), some light swearing, bad writing
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tsukishima kei did not expect any of his friends to bother him in the middle of the night. hell, he didn't even expect any of them to disturb his alone time at all. and yet at exactly 2.34 in the morning, right as he was about to turn off his currently binge watched tv show and go to sleep, he felt his phone buzzing on the nightstand. 
his eyes focused on your name, written in white font on his phone screen, surely shocked by the sight.
'why are you calling me at 2 in the goddamn morni-'
'is yamaguchi interested in anyone?'
your question caught him off-guard even more than the call itself, his brows furrowing in a weirded-out look. 
'if you're asking for yourself, i'm positive that he is not interested.' 
tsukishima heard a sigh of annoyance on the other side of the call and could only imagine the exact look on your face in this very moment. 
'well, thank god, because i'm not asking for myself.' you said. there were muffled sounds of someone preparing food in the background. 'i'm asking for yachi.'
the blonde boy smiled unconsciously.
'he does like her.' the boy stated, turning off his laptop as he put it back on the desk. 'so much so, in fact, that it can be kind of annoying sometimes.'
you squealed with excitement, a giggle leaving your mouth at tsukishima's remark. 
'perfect! now, listen carefully.'
that singular phone call created an alliance between you and kei. an alliance with only one goal; getting your two best friends to finally confess to each other. to both of you, it was almost infuriating how blind they were; how they didn't notice just how obvious it was that they both shared the same feeling. constant blushing at as little as a mention of the other's name, the stolen glances, the very obvious pining - all of it seemed to be non-existent in the eyes of both yamaguchi and yachi.
but lucky for them, you had a plan.
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his eyes lingered on you for a few seconds, as if awaiting a sign from you. tsukishima still thought of your 'master plan' as rather silly, but seeing the determination on your face, and the frown that appeared when he called your idea stupid was enough for him to sigh and go with it this once.
the four of you were currently occupied with studying for a math test coming up next week, everyone nose deep in their notebooks. well, everyone except for kei.
the boy cleared his throat almost theatrically, drawing the attention of the three of you.
'yamaguchi, i think i'll have to pass on the movies this weekend.' he said, the tone of his voice as lifeless as ever. 'akiteru insisted that i go to one of his games, so i guess you'll have to take someone else.'
the freckled boy looked a little troubled upon hearing the information. both you and tsukishima were well aware that the tickets to the cinema were already paid for; yamaguchi would definitely be sad if it all went to waste. 
'well, i guess i can ask hina-'
'yachi, didn't you tell me last week that you wanted to go to the movies with someone?' you barged in before the boy could even finish his sentence, your friend freezing in her spot at the mention of a conversation you had not that long ago, cheeks flushed pink at the mere thought of going somewhere with yamaguchi one-on-one. 'maybe you'd fill in for tsukki?' 
the girl glanced at you, panic in her eyes as an awkward silence filled the room, everyone waiting for her to answer. you gave her an encouraging smile, as if trying to non-verbally tell her to go for it, to use this as a chance to get closer to the boy she liked for so long. 
'if yamaguchi doesn't mind...' she mumbled quietly, head turning to face the boy who was already shaking his head. 
'of course i don't.' yamaguchi smiled, his small dimples showing up in the process. 
you glanced over to look at tsukishima, a triumphant smile on your face as if you just won a volleyball tournament. his hair was slightly messy, and his glasses were sliding off his nose, two of the top buttons on his school uniform unbuttoned, showing a bit of his collarbones. surprisingly enough, the blonde boy smiled back; a small, quick smile that your eyes barely noticed. you had no idea what it was, but something about that singular smile made your heart beat faster. 
don't. the main focus of this entire thing is to get yachi and yamaguchi together. not to think of tsukishima and how attractive he looks- 
shit.
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developing a crush on tsukishima kei was certainly not part of your plan. 
at first, you tried ignoring it as much as you could, focusing solely on your friends and getting them to date. as time went on and yamaguchi and yachi started getting closer, you almost felt a sense of relief - you could finally stop spending so much time around tsukishima, which made your chances of getting over your stupid crush higher. 
but it wasn't as easy as you thought. tsukishima was intelligent, pretty, and his snarky remarks and judgy personality actually drew you to him even more with each passing day. through the countless conversations and numerous phone calls, he proved himself to be more than just a salty, mean guy that everyone viewed him as.
'soon enough, they won't even need our help.' you mumbled to yourself as you opened your bento box, a smile on your face as you noticed your mom homemade onigiri inside. 'i don't know what i'll do with myself then.'
tsukishima scoffed, closing the textbook in front of him.
'maybe start focusing on your own love life for once.'
'hey! it's not my fault that i'm a good friend.' you stated, mouth full of food, as you looked up at your friend sitting on the opposite side of the table, looking through the tasks assigned for next week. 'besides, it's not like i'm the only one.'
tsukishima adjusted his glasses, looking up at you for a mere second before focusing back on his notebook.
'touché.'
'oh, come on.' you whined out, dissatisfied with the lack of response from the blonde boy. 'you won't miss this even a little bit?'
alright, maybe just a bit-
'no.' tsukishima stated firmly, fixing his posture as he highlighted one of the important sentences written down. you heard a bit of hesitation in his voice, and the few seconds of silence before hearing an answer couldn't help but make you wonder. you decided to ignore it this time - he was focused on something else right now, there was no need to disturb him. 
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'do you think yachi will like my outfit?'
tsukishima was sitting at the edge of his best friend's bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone and occasionally looking up to see the twelfth - no, thirteenth shirt that yamaguchi has tried on already. the boy sighed, turning his device off. 
'it's your first official date, i'm sure she doesn't mind what you wear.' he stated, gaining a frown from yamaguchi.
'you didn't answer my question.'
'alright, i think she'll like it.' the blonde haired boy said, reaching out for a bag of chips, opening it with a loud sound. 'but i'm sure she'll focus more on the date itself rather than what you're wearing.'
ever since announcing to their friends that they're going on their first official date, both yamaguchi and yachi were full of stress, constantly overthinking every little detail from their outfit to whether or not the date will go well or not. tsukishima found it rather comical - it was only a date after all. why stress over it so much? he never went on one, obviously, but he always thought that when the day came, he'd approach it calmly.
'do you have any tips on how to not freak out?' yamaguchi asked suddenly, catching his friend off-guard. 'during the date, i mean.'
'how can i know? i've never gone on one.'
the freckled boy looked at tsukishima, a confused expression on his face as he processed his words.
'oh.' he paused for a second, his voice quieter when he continued speaking. 'i thought you and y/n were, you know, a thing.'
huh?
to say tsukishima was shocked was an understatement. he genuinely had no idea what to say; he never even let a thought of you and him being more than friends, 'partners in crime', as you loved to say, slip through his mind. never did it occur to him that someone from the outside would see your relationship as being something more than a merely platonic one. 
well, maybe there was something to it after all. 
yamaguchi's words made him wonder - although he did find you annoying at times, it was only occasionally and to a very little degree. that in itself was very rare in tsukishima's eyes, as he found most of the people surrounding him at least normally annoying. you, on the other hand, were a completely different case. your jokes, no matter how awkward or downright cringe, made him crack a silent laugh more often than not, and every time he saw you smile, his lips uncontrollably curved up into a small, barely noticeable one themselves. 
'oh, no, absolutely not.' the blonde blurted out after a long minute of silence, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red. 'there is not a single bone in my body that would want to date her. now get up idiot, or you'll be late to your date.'
the moment tsukishima opened his bedroom, after walking his friend to the bus stop, he immediately plopped down on his bed, phone in hand, instinctively opening messages to write to you. surprisingly enough, a message was already waiting for him.
'yachi almost cried because of how stressed she is T-T'
'do you think we should spy on them to make sure it all goes well?'
he found himself smiling at the words on his phone screen, quickly typing back an answer. 
'do you really not have a life of your own?'
'idiot.'
only after a few minutes did he get a response from you.
'can i come over?? i'm bored :33'
a harmless message, one might think. in reality, tsukishima was freaking out at the mere thought of hanging out with you for a reason other than setting up your friends, his cheeks a light shade of pink as his eyes kept digging a hole through his phone. 
you weren't any better than him - hands slightly shaky as you awaited a response for what felt like hours, but was actually just a few minutes. you had no idea what took over you; was it a sudden wave of bravery or rather an idiotic spontaneous choice to ask tsukishima that. but nonetheless, when you finally got the response, you felt ecstatic.
'alright.'
'bring some snacks.'
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'kei, i think yamaguchi is he- oh, that's certainly a new face.'
you stood in front of the door with an awkward smile, facing tsukishima's older brother, akiteru, his eyes scanning you from head to toe. to say he was surprised was an understatement - he looked as if he'd seen a ghost. as if a friend that's not yamaguchi coming over to tsukishima's house was so out of the ordinary that it could become a national holiday. 
'come in.' the younger male appeared in the back of the hall, an oversized dinosaur shirt and shorts on. his expression was softer than usual; not until he looked at his brother, whom he gave a sharp stare, signaling him to let you inside and don't make such a fuss about it. 
you sat down on his bed, awkward silence filling up the room. not wanting to make the conversation about your friends as per usual, you slowly realized you don't know what to talk about, trying to think of something, anything, as you began unpacking your bag filled with snacks. 
surprisingly enough, it was tsukishima who spoke up first. 
'wanna watch a movie?' he asked, opening his drawer to pull out two bottles of soda, hidden there so that his brother doesn't devour all of them. 'unless it'll make you even more bored than you were before.'
'well, if you have a boring taste in movies-' 
'says the one who looks like their favorite movie is mamma mia.' tsukishima scoffed under his breath, turning his laptop on and starting to search up movies. you looked at him, a dramatic expression as you pretended to be offended. 
'and you look like you're about to mansplain the godfather to me.' 
a short silence filled the room before you heard the blonde boy let out a short, muffled laugh at your comment. 
'you couldn't be more wrong.' he sat down next to you, a small smile still on his face. 'i found it kind of boring, actually.'
'what do you like, then?'
'horror movies.' tsukishima stated, eyes focused on the screen. 'but tadashi gets easily scared, so i often don't have a chance to watch them.'
'same with me and yachi.' you said, unconsciously scooping a bit closer to the boy as you tried to get a better look at what he was searching up. 'i love them, but yachi jumps at every small scare on the screen. sometimes, she even gets scared when there's nothing happening at all.'
'they really do match each other.' he mumbled, putting the laptop on the bed as he pressed play on a movie he chose. his eyes quickly glanced your way to get a nod of approval on his choice.
'yeah, they do.'
and we could, too.
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'are you and tsukishima dating?'
you almost spat out your drink, the words coming out of hinata's mouth catching you so off-guard you were close to choking. 
the three of you, along with kageyama, were currently cleaning up after volleyball practice, the boys racing on who would clean more balls off of the floor.
'no, we're not.' you said in a clearly sad tone with an obvious hint of dissatisfaction in your voice. 'what the hell made you think that way?'
the orange haired boy stopped in his tracks, his signature smile disappearing for a minute as he got lost in his own thoughts. 
'oh! i remember now.' he said after a short while, his grin coming back. 'yamaguchi told me that you two are close.'
'he did also mention that he seems happier around you.' kageyama added, joining the conversation. 'seeing tsukishima happy must be pretty scary.'
not really, you thought. but at the same time, what confused you more was what kageyama said right before. 
he seems happier around you.
yamaguchi has been kei's friend for the longest time, so any of his observations must be true, or at least that's what you liked to believe. but would that mean that tsukishima kei, the salty, closed-off guy whom everyone finds intimidating could possibly like you? was there truly a possibility that he enjoyed spending time with you? 
as you finished cleaning up the hall, saying your goodbyes to your two friends who ran off to practice volleyball somewhere else, a familiar, tall figure appeared in the doorframe, sharp eyes staring at you with an expression that you couldn't exactly decipher. 
'want me to walk you home?' he asked, hands in his pockets. 'it's getting late.'
you looked at him, trying to hide the blush creeping up onto your cheeks before quickly nodding as an answer.
'sure, let's go.'
most of the walk was filled with silence on both parts, exactly as you expected. even though it might've felt awkward for some, you did enjoy his presence in itself enough that a conversation wasn't necessary. 
the boy stopped in his tracks mid-way, reaching into his backpack and pulling out his phone and an old pair of white, wired earphones, showing them to you as a silent question of whether you wanted to listen to music with him or not. you agreed without a second thought, a small smile on your face as he put on one of his playlists. 
'i really like this song.' you mumbled, eyes lighting up upon hearing the familiar melody. with both of you wearing the same set of headphones right now, you were practically forced to walk closer to each other - hands constantly brushing against one another, a faint blush on your face as you tried to ignore it and focus on the music. 
tsukishima, on the other hand, couldn't shake away the thoughts roaming around his head. he felt as if what he was doing now was incredibly unlike him; and maybe it was. but for some reason, he didn't mind being like this around you. less cocky, sarcastic, mean and more... gentle.
he could feel his fingers brushing against yours from time to time, and it drove him crazy. should he go for it and play it off nonchalantly, or just ignore it? should he even make the first move or wait for you to do it?
before he was able to decide, tsukishima felt your hand reaching for his, heart rate immediately speeding up as your fingers shyly intertwined with his, looking the other way to hide your anxious expression.
his hand was much bigger than yours, but somehow it fit perfectly with yours. as if they were created solely to hold one another and nothing else. the plan to get your friends to be together was long forgotten by now - your mind was clouded with thoughts of tsukishima only, and little did you know that his wasn't any different. 
you glanced his way only to find his eyes already on you, hiding his true feelings behind a nonchalant look. only now did you notice that the two of you were standing in front of your house, the boy adjusting his glasses as he waited to see what you'll do next. 
'i guess i should go home now.' you mumbled, but you still didn't move an inch, hand not leaving his. 'see you tomorrow?'
his hand squeezed yours tightly before taking it away, an unusually warm and welcoming smile on his face. 
'sure. see you tomorrow, idiot.'
but as you slowly made your way towards the door, tsukishima couldn't shake away the feeling in him, telling him to go for it. and as much as he tried to resist it, he just couldn't anymore. 
'wait.’
before you could fully turn away, tsukishima kei's lips were already on yours, a sweet, long kiss that felt as if he was waiting to do it for years. his hand traveled to your waist and it didn't take long for you to react; lips moving swiftly with his, noses bumping into one another before you pulled away, a giggle escaping your mouth as you saw just how red tsukishima's face was.
‘don't laugh at me, moron.’ he said, immediately catching the reason for your laughter as he flicked you in the forehead. ‘your whole face is red, too.’
‘i didn't expect you to do this.’ you mumbled, eyes focused on his as you reached to hold his hand again. ‘didn't expect my feelings to be mutual, either.’
‘i'm glad we feel the same.’ his face leaned in closer to yours, a wave of confidence taking over him as he placed a short kiss on your forehead. ‘but i would still prefer to properly ask you out. if you'd say yes, that is.’ 
‘of course i would.’ you smiled, ‘i'd be stupid not to.’
‘should we bet on how long it takes the others to realize we're dating now?’ tsukishima smiled at you, eyes not leaving yours for even a spare second. you laughed at his idea, giving his hand a squeeze. 
‘get ready to lose, kei.’
‘you wish.’
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taglist: @moonswolfie
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chosolala · 6 months ago
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𐙚 ⋆˚。⋆ jjk guys crushing on you
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here are my headcannons on how i think the jujutsu kaisen boys would act when they’re crushing on you :]
characters: gojo, geto, nanami, choso
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
satoru gojo
he probably doesn’t say it to you straight away but he gives you enough for you to suspect something MIGHT be up
like he’ll treat you better than others when you go out as a group, like paying for your food and nobody else’s, or holding doors for you or carrying your bags but he still teases you and picks on you, so you can never really tell if he actually likes you
i feel like he’d have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he actually has romantic feelings for you and he’d only tell you if it is genuinely distracting him from his day to day life
his love language would probably be gift giving and physical touch, so when he likes you he’d probably be taking any chance he can get to touch you, weather that be walking with his arm around your waist so he doesn’t ‘lose you in public’ or buying you things like little key chains or matching bracelets
when he confesses, all he wants to do is kiss you, so he’d probably take you somewhere private but not too private for you to suspect anything’s up, like a kind of closed off area of the park and then he just dumps everything on you then makes a joke because he’s embarrassed
he would only confess if he’s confident you like him back though
suguru geto
he would probably make it clear that he’s interested in you from the start, not by stating it but with how he acts around you
he would do little acts to hopefully make you fall for him, like tying your shoes for you, carrying your bag, stuff like that.
he is also very flirty, just dripping casual flirty comments then smirking at your reaction
i can also see him teasing you a lot but over little things, just joking around with you
he may tease you in public or when your out with friends, but when it’s just the two of you he is the biggest gentleman ever, still very flirty though, never failing to make you blush
he DEFINITELY goes all out to show off when you two are on missions together
he would end up confessing to you with flowers on a random day
like he’d sneak up behind you and give you flowers then just ask you to be his girlfriend
kento nanami
he would definitely try his best to ignore his feelings for you but when you two are alone he can’t help but show his soft side for you two
he knows it’s not practical for the two of you to have any type of romantic relationship considering your field of work
when you’re really heavy on his mind he’ll invite you out for casual lunches or stops to a bakery he likes
if he really likes you i feel like he’d end up confessing really hectic, like idk
he’d probably be so fed up with how corrupt everything is at work and just come to you crying and begging you to just run away with him
when you guys actually end up together, the way he confesses is probably his biggest regret too, he wishes he did it properly
choso kamo
he probably has a hard time understanding his feelings towards you since he’s never really liked anyone before
he never told you he liked you but it was so painfully obvious
when you first met he couldn’t stop staring at you, everytime you talked to him he was just a stuttering, blushing mess
he’d just follow you around like a lost puppy and do whatever you told him to
thirsty? here’s a case of water. tired? he’s on all fours offering his back as a chair 😭 hungry? he just ordered the entire menu at mcdonald’s for you
he doesn’t really know what he’s doing but he’s trying
he would talk to yuji about and and yuji would probably end up teasing him and telling him that he’s in love with
he buys you heart shaped chocolate and tries to confess but he can hardly get his words out
you guys end up eating the chocolate together <3
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taeyongdoyoung · 4 months ago
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teddy bear
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summary: you discover your best friend's dirty little secret but after the initial anger passes, you are excited... pairing: haechan x reader genre: smut, best friends to lovers warnings: non-consensual filming/hidden camera, perv!haechan (wbk), but ALSO perv!reader, allusions to masturbation, lowkey dubcon but not rlly, face-sitting, eating out, blowjob, unprotected piv sex, boob touching, switch!haechan, inexperienced!reader, pet names, oh yeah and kissing (ew) author's note: idk what this is but 🎵 i've been a nasty guuuurl, nasty, is somebody gonna match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 🎵 word count: 2k
If there is one person in this universe you’d trust with your life, that person would be Haechan. He’s always been there for you, through the highs and lows of your life. So, when you discover how he’d betrayed you, you feel like your world comes crashing down on you with all of its weight and injustice.
You accidentally find something you’d never expected would happen to you. A hidden camera in the teddy bear Haechan had gifted you a year ago. You can’t believe it. You don’t perceive yourself as a particularly interesting person. You don’t do much in your room. Except…
The idea that Haechan had seen you in your most private, vulnerable moments sends chills down your spine. You feel mortified, embarrassed but most of all, angry. How could he do this to you? How could he film you in secret without your permission? How could he betray your trust like that? And worst of all, how could a part of you get excited about that?
You invite your best friend Haechan over on a whim. With the initial plan to confront him, maybe threaten him with this newfound knowledge a little, things take an unexpected turn.
“Hey, darling, how have you been?” Haechan asks as he enters your apartment.
“Oh, don’t you ‘darling’ me, you creep!” you immediately accuse him.
“What did I do?” he tries to play it dumb but you can see it in his eyes that he knows exactly what crime he’s guilty of.
“I found the camera…inside the teddy bear,” you get straight to the point, dragging him by the hand to your room and showing him the evidence.
Maybe this is unwise. Maybe a sane person would go to the police rightaway. Maybe you should file a restraining order. But the thought of living without Haechan feels more painful than the thought he’d done something so sick. Maybe you’re just as sick in the head.
“So, you found it,” he states the obvious.
“Aren’t you gonna say anything to defend yourself? Like, maybe it came like that and you didn’t know it had a camera,” you attempt to find a logical explanation.
“Oh, I knew, alright,” Haechan confesses.
You punch his arm lightly, not meaning to actually hurt him, but he’s taken aback nonetheless.
“How could you do this to me? I trusted you with my life,” you cry out, your eyes welling up with tears.
“I promise no one else has seen the footage. I would never show it to anyone.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” you sniffle. “You saw me…naked. No, scratch that, you saw me touching myself, saw me crying all alone, saw me at my most pathetic.”
“There was never anything pathetic about you, precious. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and I’m so sorry I made. I just…admire you so much that I did something wrong. I know it’s unhealthy that I want to look at you all the time but I couldn’t help it. I’d do anything to make you forgive me,” Haechan promises.
“Anything?” you ask, your eyebrow raising in interest, a sinful idea already forming in your head.
“You name it. If you wanna report me to the police, go for it, as long as you forgive me one day.”
“I’m not gonna report you,” you say calmly. “But I do want a favour.”
“Whatever you wish, sweetheart,” Haechan blinks at you with so much affection and dedication you know you’re making the right choice.
“You’ve probably seen me…well, struggling to reach an orgasm,” you murmur shyly. “When I feel it coming, my fingers get so tired and I just…stop in the middle of nowhere. I was wondering if you can help me with that?”
You phrase it as a question but it’s actually a demand. If Haechan wants your forgiveness so badly, he’s gonna have to earn it.
“Sit on my face,” he offers.
“Huh?”
“Go on, then. I’ll help you out, just relax and let me take care of you.”
Fuck, his words have such an immediate effect on you that you rush to take off your shorts and comfortable panties you wear at home and you don’t have the time to feel self-conscious.
Haechan seems more eager than you and pulls you closer than ever. As you make yourself comfortable on top of him, he quickly dives in, licking your pussy with so much enthusiasm that you already know he’s gonna make you feel so good. You grab his hair a bit harshly and he moans against your folds, the sound sending vibrations to your core. Arching your back, you search the long-awaited release as Haechan digs his nails into your thighs, holding onto you for support. His tongue fucks into you from below in ways you didn’t think possible. You cry out his name unabashedly as you come all over his too pretty for this world face.
You collapse backwards, head falling near his legs. As the haze of your orgasm begins to wear off, you notice Haechan’s hard cock straining against the confines of his jeans. Another idea has already been planted in your brain.
“Am I forgiven yet?” Haechan wonders with an adorable pout. You want to kiss him stupid but decide to torture him a little longer.
“Not yet,” you chuckle. “But it’s a good start. Now, I want you to teach me how to suck a cock.”
His pained expression tells you volumes.
“W-why?” he stutters.
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m not very experienced and I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself in front of guys. So, show me the right way.”
Haechan gulps anxiously. Is he jealous of these hypothetical future guys. You don’t tell him that he is the only guy you want to touch, that would give his ego an unnecessary boost. And you don’t want that. You want him to think that him being forgiven is dependent on whether he does as you wish.
“Okay. Well, to be honest, most guys just prefer fucking a girl’s mouth, or so I’ve heard. So, you wouldn’t have to do much. But I can still show you the basics.”
You nod eagerly and unbutton his jeans. Haechan gently guides you to his cock.
“Lick the tip. You don’t have to fit it all in your mouth.”
You follow his instructions excitedly and envelop your lips around his length. It’s not super long but its thickness poses a delicious challenge. Your mouth can’t possibly widen any further so you also start touching him with your small hands.
“That’s good, you’re doing so well for me,” Haechan praises you and his words make you even more enthusiastic. Your eyes teary and your throat hurting but he strokes your hair so sweetly and you must be fucked up because you don’t want this to end.
Licking and groping to the best of your abilities, his release comes sooner than expected. Are you really that good or is he just whipped for you? You try to swallow his cum but there is so much of it that as soon as your lips leave his cock so you can breathe properly, his cum comes spilling down your chest.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” Haechan apologizes for making a mess.
You shake your head and can’t resist the temptation any longer so you crash your mouth against his in a sick, feverish kiss. He appears taken aback but kisses you back with just as much passion, if not more. He buries his hand in your hair, tilting your head back, practically fucking your face with his own. He bites your lips and touches your cheek with his other hand, as you completely melt for him.
“You like this?” Haechan chuckles in disbelief once he breaks the kiss. “You like being kissed by your best friend who’s been getting off on footage of you in secret?”
“Does that make me a weirdo?” you grin wickedly.
“Oh, definitely. But I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Haechan says.
“I want you to fuck me,” you blurt out suddenly, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Are you sure?” his eyes widen in shock.
“Please?”
“Your wish is my command, princess,” Haechan responds. “Do you want to be on top?”
“I don’t know, whatever works best for you,” you really don’t care about the positions, you just need this freak inside of you. Okay, you realize you’re just as freaky but oh well.
“Wanna try riding me and if you get tired, I’ll take over?” Haechan suggests softly.
“Alright, let’s try that,” you agree quickly and take your top off.
“Oh,” Haechan licks his dry lips in surprise.
“What?”
“You’re not wearing a bra,” he states the obvious.
“So? I’m at my own home, it feels more comfortable that way.”
“I know but…you asked me over knowing that I’ve put a camera in that bear and you’re not wearing-”
“Haechan, do me another favour and stop overthinking, okay?”
He nods again, still staring at your boobs.
“Do you want to touch them?” you laugh because his face looks priceless.
“May I?” Haechan asks politely. God, he’s so cute you want to eat him up. He’s also the most perverted guy you’ve ever met. So basically perfect for you.
“Yes, do whatever you want, I trust you,” you admit even though it is probably foolish. But it is true.
Haechan envelops his hands around your tits as you climb on top of him, letting his cock slide in. You’re so wet for him it happens so smoothly, as if you were meant to fit in together. He plays with your nipples gently and you ride him, moving your hips up and down.
“You can be more rough, I’m not gonna break,” you tell him honestly.
Haechan isn’t sure exactly what you mean by that but tries his best to not disappoint you. He pinches your nipples, squeezing your boobs a little more harshly and eliciting sweet moans out of you. Then, he bucks his hips upwards to meet your wetness, fucking into you from below with impressive speed and eagerness. You are beginning to grow tired, chasing an orgasm that feels so close, yet out of reach.
“Please, take over, I don’t think I can do this,” you pout pitifully.
“Sure, angel,” Haechan flips you over so that you are now lying on your back and fucks you hard and sweet.
“Make me come, Haechan, please, please, please,” you beg him desperately.
“Let go for me, baby, that’s it,” he encourages you and who are you to argue with him?
Your orgasm hits you so suddenly and you feel yourself babbling nonsense. Soon after, he releases his seed inside or you, making you lose your mind even further. You feel so deliciously full you wish you could stay trapped in this moment forever.
Haechan slides out of you and brings you a bottle of water. You greedily accept it and after your thirst is satiated, give the rest to him. He drinks a bit and then leaves it on the bed. You look at him without saying anything and he does the same for a while. Haechan strokes your hair and you lean into his comforting touch. The silence is in no way uncomfortable but you are still plagued by thoughts. What’s next? Pure friendship is out of the question. You like him too much to entertain the thought of him with someone else. But does he feel the same?
“I don’t want to suck other guys’ cocks. In case it wasn’t obvious,” you admit without thinking of the consequences. “Do you…want to sleep with other people?”
Haechan shakes his head.
“Your ten personalities provide plenty of entertainment for me,” he jokes.
You shove him lightly, unable to contain your giggles. He grabs your wrists and kisses them fondly.
“You’re such a brat,” you say but it’s a compliment.
“Alexa play Charli XCX’s new album” Haechan shrugs.
“I sometimes wish I could be a brat, too,” you sigh wistfully.
“You? No way, you’re my good girl,” he squeezes your cheeks dotingly.
“Challenge accepted,” you give him a wink.
“Fine, fine, I’ll try my best to teach you my brattish ways,” he vows generously.
“It’s a date,” you clap your hands with unrestrained excitement.
“So…am I forgiven?” Haechan asks one last time.
You laugh and wrap your arms around him in a hug.
“On one condition,” you whisper in his ear with a smirk. “You take the teddy bear to your place. It’s my turn to look at you whenever I like.”
The End
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a-most-beloved-fool · 11 days ago
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One of the lines in TOS that drives me the most crazy is in The Man Trap, when Spock is in command of the Enterprise. A death on the landing party is reported, and Uhura, upset that Spock doesn't display an emotional reaction, challenges him and reminds him that the death could be Captain Kirk. "He's the closest thing you've got to a friend," she says.
And that always sticks out to me.
It paints Spock as a pretty tragic figure, doesn't it?
Like - and this is disregarding new canon, sorry Disco and SNW I'm ignoring you - Spock is kind of implied to be, well. Pretty much alone. Kirk, his brand new captain, at that point, is the closest thing he has to a friend. We know that Spock was on the Enterprise before Kirk's Captaincy, and we know he was at least somewhat close to Pike in that time, but by that point Pike is disabled enough to barely be able to communicate, and it doesn't seem like Spock was close to anyone else on Pike's enterprise - at least no one who stuck around.
He's estranged from his family. Maybe he kept contact with Amanda, but frankly I can't imagine they were calling often. He has an unwilling fiancee who he has no real relationship with. He never seems to (willingly) date, wh He knew Leila Kalomi at some point, but it's blatantly obvious both that they haven't kept in touch and that Kalomi's interest in him makes Spock fairly uncomfortable, so she doesn't count. Am I missing anybody?
And then Kirk comes, and takes over the Enterprise, and, from the very start, looks at Spock with kindness and affection. Wouldn't that be. fucking life-changing? Kirk comes and, in a matter of weeks, single-handedly changes the entire trajectory of Spock's life, simply by liking him. Y'know?
It's genuine, too. It's not like Kirk is just playing nice for the sake of the command team. He's just - fond of Spock. Really, properly fond of him.
And it's more than a bit overwhelming for him, especially because he likes Kirk just as much as Kirk likes him, and he hasn't experienced that before, either. It's wildly obvious how important Kirk becomes to him from his words and actions throughout the show; from "when I feel friendship for you, I feel ashamed," in The Naked Time; to believing in Kirk's innocence when all evidence was against him in Court Martial; to breaking through the blood fever to beg T'Pau to forbid Kirk's participation, and also his smile in Amok Time; to Spock jumping in the path of a poison flower in The Apple; and on and on. It's obvious to the viewer, and it's just as obvious to other characters in the show. Spock treasures Kirk and his friendship.
Idk. I'm just regularly blown away by how astoundingly impactful Kirk was on Spock. From the very moment they meet, they're both irrevocably changed. Two halves of a whole indeed! I can understand how it would frighten Spock enough to make him flee to Kolinahr, unused to the sheer emotion brought on by Kirk, and I can understand how it would be compelling enough to cause him to return.
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shepscapades · 5 months ago
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looking through your docsuma tag.....love them. wish they had one more combined braincell so they could realize their feelings
HERE'S THE THING THOUGH OKAY the problem is actually that they're both too smart about their feelings. you've got me down a horrible rabbit hole okay let me do my best to explain without being a freak(reading this back over, i failed <3).
Xisuma takes longer to realize, first of all. He's got so much to deal with coming out of s8 and through the beginning of s9 that quite frankly he's really just grateful to have another friend he can count on and trust, and he's so consumed by getting the androids back in working order on top of his actual season 9 plans (on top of Cleo shoving self care down his throat and demanding that he make a better habit of taking breaks and taking care of himself, which takes a LONG time to adjust to, if it can be argued that he ever does) that he doesn't really realize he's developed feelings for Doc until his heart beats him over the head with it randomly one day. Probably sometime in S10. Even then, because of said busy-ness, I think Xisuma has a very hard time getting over the meta-ness of a creator developing feelings for his creation and the selfishness of that reality amidst all of his other responsibilities, and he is likely too scared/overwhelmed to entertain the thought of the feelings themselves, much less the likelihood of reciprocation or the fantasy of a relationship.
Doc, on the other hand, realizes he is developing feelings for Xisuma kind of steadily throughout the course of s9, since that's when they start spending so much more time together in the lab working on androids and improving android tech. As a general statement, Doc is very aware of himself, all of the time. His awareness of the self is very important to his sense of normalcy and control, so any time he experiences a new emotion, he notes it, logs it.
So, while he's very aware of the feelings he's developing as they happen, he doesn't quite put a name to it/realize what it actually is until he talks to Tango and Etho, funnily enough--It's definitely one of those moments where Tango or Etho or whomever are explaining their struggles with the physical manifestations of their... idk, lovesickness-- ie, thirium pump rate irregularities, temperature fluctuations, influxes of feelings they've described as a combination of longing, affection, want, happiness, yearning... and Doc, as the unbiased third party to put 2 and 2 together, explains to them that those are obvious signs of romantic attraction, only very belatedly realizing several hours later that those are the exact symptoms he hasn't quite been able to put a name to. Naturally he's exceptional about being quiet about this realization until he slips up during a maintenance check-in with Tango sometime after, who is not doing well in s9, and Tango (mid romance-ranting) catches the passing of a wistful expression on Doc's face and calls him out for "totally thinking about someone right now" (Teasing aside, tango promises to keep Doc's secret).
So, despite knowing well his feelings before X ever develops his own, Doc is actually very, very careful about them-- He knows more than anyone else how busy Xisuma is. He knows how stressed X is. He also knows Xisuma seems to be more knowledgeable when it comes to emotions and feelings, and despite the clear signs that Xisuma shows interest(?) in him as well, Doc can only assume there is a good reason nothing romantic has happened between them-- he trusts Xisuma more than anything, and he--firmly-- will not breach this trust by acting on something Xisuma does not seem to be ready for (or does not seem to want yet(yet?)). Therefore, Doc is patient, and even though as Season 10 develops and Doc becomes aware of the likelihood that Xisuma could return the feelings, he trusts Xisuma's emotional intuition more than anything. He, painfully, recognizes Xisuma's discomfort (or hesitation), concludes that there must be a missing variable in this equation he cannot grasp, and decides to let Xisuma lead because of it. He will not push farther than he feels Xisuma has.
It's definitely one of those "fell first" "fell harder" type situations I think. I'm normal about them. can you tell
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bizbat · 10 months ago
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your jason todd hcs are sooooo good omg!!! do you have any hcs specifically for when he has a crush on the reader, like how he might act, specifically if the reader is oblivious and really doesn’t think that she’s his type / thinks he’s joking if he says anything flirty?
When They're In Love - Jason Todd (Crush Edition)
🕸️Spiderverse Masterlist🕸️
🐼JJK Masterlist🐼
~ Fem terms + Pet names used for reader.
~ You can find part one of these hcs here, and part two here.
~ You can find more of my works here.
~ These can be read as a sort of part three/prequel kinda.
~Fic at the end.
~ Tw for : Blood, Knives, Needles, Vomit. (All slight)
~Thank you for asking! Hope you enjoy, sorry this took so long :(
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You would never know that Jason has a crush on you.
For the most part, he wont talk to you any differently than he will anyone else.
Maybe he won't jokingly insult you, or be super sarcastic around you, but I think that's kind of as far as he'd go.
Unless you're a close friend or family member, you'd probably have no clue he had a crush based on the way he talks to you.
But the little actions and things he does for you are so obvious.
He's the type to hold open doors for you, all the while staring other people dead in the eye as it shuts in their face.
He somehow always just "randomly" has your favorite snack on hand, or a whole collection of books by your favorite author.
I think he'd be touchy, unless he knows you don't like being touched.
If you like or don't mind it, he'd have his arm constantly thrown over your shoulder, always be leaning against you, always resting a hand on your hip.
If you're shorter than him, he does that super annoying thing where he rests his elbow on your head.
He is so lame omg.
But bc he's kinda like this with everyone, no one would fault you for not understanding his hints.
He's like the opposite though.
You said hi to him this morning? You must be in love with him.
You smiled at him today instead of Dick? He's already planning the wedding.
What's that? You said he smells nice? Have his babies. (If you can/want to)
Our delusional king.
He doesn't think you don't get his flirting.
He'd think you're fully aware and are flirting back.
Again, our delusional king.
You probably won't get it until something really serious happens and he comes to you instead of Bruce or Roy.
He'd probably try to get into things you're interested in.
Listens to all your favorite songs, reads your favorite books, etc.
And he's not subtle about it bc he is in fact, a loser.
He'll recommend a song by your favorite artist and then be like "idk why but this just reminded me of you lol"
LOSER. Can you guys tell i'm a big believer in the "jason todd is secretly a massive loser" agenda? Cuz I am. :|
And then he listens when you go on rambles about how great the things you like are and how much they mean to you.
I said he'll do things just to hear you talk about them, and I think he'd do that when he has a crush on you too.
He just loves your voice and likes hearing you talk.
He smiles at you so softly when he thinks you aren't looking.
You could be bumming out and he'll look at you with heart eyes like yeah, future spouse right there.
I don't think he'd be a big user of social media, but if you were, he'd get a whole account just to like and comment of your pictures.
user94820860038466 commented: You look very pretty in this picture.
Comments like an old man bc he has very little understanding of the internet.
He'd probably help you take pictures and fight with other people in your comment section if they're too down bad or creepy.
He doesn't strike me as the jealous type bc once again, he's so delusional he pretty much already thinks you're dating.
Nicknames nicknames nicknames.
Calls you so, so many nicknames.
Angel, doll, sweetheart, maybe even babe.
He constantly talks about you when you aren't there.
Lian and Roy know so much about you before they even meet you.
He'd do anything for you.
The store is actually about a mile in the other direction, but yeah he can get you your favorite drink.
He does not like that food at all and the owner of the store despises him, but he will not return to you empty handed best believe.
He was actually going to wear that hoodie today, but it looks so much better on you you should keep it!
~ Drabble Starts Here. ~
It's just like every other night in Gotham City. It's cold, and wet, and it smells like smoke and garbage that's been left out in the sun.
The only barrier between you and the chilled, musty air outside is a single sheet of glass; the fire escape window of your fifth floor apartment. It's comforting. The glass is, of course, bulletproof, and the seal around the sill is tight, so no gases ever manage seep in. It pays to have a decent landlord, especially in Gotham.
It's funny, but you really never think about that window. You mostly keep it shut and locked, except in the summer, when you can smell your neighbor in the building next door cooking all types of delicious aromatic dishes, or when it's just too hot and you decide the risk of heatstroke is greater than the risk of airborne psychosis. It never occurs to you just how well it keeps you safe, just how well it keeps things out.
It occurs to Jason, though. In fact, it's the only thing on his mind as he's gripping his side, frantically trying to prevent too much blood from seeping out of his body.
He'll probably chastise himself later for not being more gentle or respectful, but he's lost too much blood to be thinking straight. With his free hand, he bangs on your window, praying that you're A) at home, and B) not listening to music. He's not too worried about the first one, he knows you never leave your lights on when you're away, but the second one, he's not too sure about.
He bangs, and bangs, and bangs on the glass, a loud, thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk that immediately rouses your from your sleep. You jump up from your spot on the couch, an open book falling from your lap as you dart into your room to grab the knife Jay gave you for protection, before returning to your living room, keeping your back to the wall.
You hold the blade in front of you, nervously gripping the hilt as you listen to the banging, making sure to stay just out of sight as you cautiously creep closer and closer to the noise. It isn't until the banging dies down that you finally get close enough to see the cause.
You gasp at the sight, dropping the knife and trying to tug the window open, before mentally yelling at yourself to unlock it. You drag the weakened behemoth of a man into your apartment, carefully placing his upper body on the floor in front of your window and removing his helmet. Your hand moves to his side, firmly pressing down on his wound, as you stare at him, mouth agape and eyes flooding with concern.
He laughs, a dry chuckle that just sounds like it hurts. "What took ya' doll?" You wanna smack him, but you can do that when he's not bleeding all over your hardwood floors. You tell him to wait, as if he could go anywhere in the state he's in, before rushing to grab the emergency kit he forced you to keep.
"Let-ngh- let me do it." He groans as he attempts to sit up, trying and failing to pull the tweezers from your hand. He doesn't even have the strength to sit back up when you gently push him back down. You clean his wound, all while he holds back winces and groans. You don't hold back, focusing on cutting and cleaning and stitching and wrapping, berating Jason for coming to you of all people.
"What d'ya mean? Of course I'd come to you?" Jason manages between harsh breaths. "Who else would I go to?" He seems genuinely confused, you're his girlfriend, you always come to him when you need help. Why wouldn't he come to you?
"Oh, I don't know, Jason, maybe Bruce, or Roy, or literally anyone else with training to handle this kind of thing!?" It comes out mean, but through his pain he can tell it's coming from a place of true care. You're worried. One of the strongest, most skilled people you know is bleeding out on your floor and you're panicking. Of course you are, you've never had to sew someone up, or dig a bullet out of someone, or try to hold down bile from the heavy smell of blood.
Your hands are shaking like crazy. This isn't a slight graze you can put a bandaid over and seal with a kiss, this is a life threatening wound on someone you care about, and all they've been doing since they came to you is make stupid fucking jokes and try to take things from your hands.
Jason can tell it's getting to you.
It should be the other way around, what with him bleeding out in your living room, but he quiets down, gripping your wrist with his non-blood covered hand. "Hey," He gently strokes your skin with his thumb, repeating himself when you don't move your eyes from his wound. "Hey, look at me Y/n." It's just stern enough to make you obey, without sounding like he's mad at you. "It'll be okay. I'm in good hands." Jason smiles at you, tired and reassuring. It calms your nerves just enough for you to finish sewing his wound shut.
You sit back when you're done, taking in your work once you wrap his stomach with gauze. Jason turns just enough to catch a glimpse, smiling up at you with his stupid, charming smirk. "Not bad, doll. Told ya you had it covered." He lays back, smiling up at you as he lays his head on his arm, the one on his non-injured side. Though he doesn't seem to bothered by the end of it all, you can't say the same.
He takes in your features, your tired, glossy eyes and your pouting lips. It makes his smile drop. You look away, your sad eyes not meeting his own. "I . . . what? What's wrong Y/n?" Jason winces, moving to rest on his elbows to get a better look at your face. "Was it the blood? Or the- was it the window? I'm sorry about that, by the way." You shake your head no at all of his suggestions, taking a breath before turning back to face him.
He can feel his heart hurt at the sight of unshed tears in your eyes. "I . . . I was scared Jay." He pushes himself all the way up when you take your lip into your mouth. He ignores the pain shooting through his side when he pulls you into his arms. "Hey, hey, hey, scared of what? I'm okay. You did good." Those tears finally spill when your arms wrap around his waist, loose as to not further irritate his wound.
"You could've died Jay, a-and I wouldn't be able to-to help you! I can't help you!" You sob into his shoulder. He holds you tightly, pressing his lips to your head as he rubs your back. "Please, please don't cry. I'm okay now, you helped me. I'm all better now." He rocks you both gently, trying to console you. "Sides, if I was gonna die, I'd be happy if it was with my girl."
What?
You freeze in his arms, and he knows he said something wrong. He just doesn't know what. His brain moves a mile a minute as he tries to figure out what it was before you get even more upset. Though, his brain completely shuts down when you stare up at him with those cute, confused eyes. The tears have slowed down, and he's at least thankful for that. "Your . . . girl?" Now he's confused too. "What-what do you mean by that?"
He has to do a double take. "What do you mean? You're my girl, like . . . girlfriend, you know?" Every second that passes only confuses the two of you more. "I'm your girlfriend?" "Ar-aren't you?" You blink at him. Were you? Are you? "Am I?" Somewhere there was cognitive dissonance, Jason just doesn't know for who. "Yeah, we're dating, I thought?" Though, he doesn't feel so confident about that now.
"Oh," You feel your ears grow warm, for the second time now your eyes don't meet his own. "I . . . I didn't know that." You wish you could hide right now, but he's still got his arms wrapped around you. "I mean, unless you don't want to, then-then I'm sorry-" Jason feels maybe even more embarrassed than you as he finally drops his arms, grabbing his helmet and moving to crawl back out the window he came in through. His bullet wound is completely forgotten by now.
He stops when you grip his jacket, shyly staring at the floor as you speak. "No! I w-want to." Your eyes darty up to his, before losing confidence and dropping back to the floor. "I want to be your girlfriend," It comes out a whisper, and when he's silent for a beat too long you worry he's suddenly changed his mind.
"Good. Great. Yeah." He drops back to the floor, sitting cross legged beside you. Internally, he's doing backflips in his mind. "Cool." Later on, he'll ask more questions, but for now, he's satisfied. "Yeah." You shyly play with your clothes, twiddling your thumbs as you sit in silence. You feel like a little girl who just admitted to her crush that she likes him. "Are you-" "I didn't-" You interrupt each other, both of you gesturing for the other to continue. It's a bit of a fight, but Jason makes you go first.
"I was gonna ask if you were hungry. I have some, um, pretzels and stuff. If you want." Jason nods. He follows you into your kitchen, where the two of you quietly and contently eat the iron rich foods you looked up. "What were you going to say, by the way?"
Jason looks up from his plate, the haphazardly prepared meal helping him feel better, though his heart feels pretty good right now anyways. "I didn't know that you didn't know. I thought," he laughs nervously. "I thought, we were dating this whole time." He laughs again when you shake your head. "I didn't know! I thought . . . I don't know, that I wasn't your type, or something."
That's probably the most surprising thing he's heard you say today. Okay it's not, but it's the thing that most catches him off guard.
"Of course you are! You're so sweet, and cute, and nice, and pretty, and you smell really good, and you're funny, and I like your voice, and the way you d-do things . . . and . . . other stuff." Jason stops himself before he can ramble for hours about every single things he loves about you. You wouldn't mind if he did, though. You hide your pleased expression with your hand.
"Me too." It's quiet, but no longer shy. "I like all that "stuff" about you too."
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restinslices · 10 months ago
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How do you think earth realm boys would be like around their crush?
Haven’t made moodboards for them so this is all I got rn
Johnny Cage
He would be incredibly shy 
^ That's something I would say if I lost it 
Am I suffering from lack of sleep? Yes. Have I lost the plot? No. 
Johnny is a huge flirt. He was flirting with Kitana and he hardly knew her 
And I'm pretty sure a lot of his MK1 intros is just him flirting or being a little shit 
So with that being said it’s obvious to everyone 
It’s obvious at least that he finds you attractive. The problem would be trying to figure out whether he’s just being Johnny or if he actually likes you 
Which would be difficult 
He flirts, he makes sly jokes, he says how much you should be with him and that he could totally handle you, how great you’d be together and a whole bunch of other shit
Like I said though, the main problem would be knowing if he’s joking or not 
But I think if you simply asked “dude, are you joking?” He’d say “no” immediately 
But Johnny’s eyes tend to wander so you wouldn’t be wrong for being hesitant 
It’d be dogshit if you were just his distraction for the month 
You’d know he’s serious though because he keeps going for months 
Obviously you’ve encountered other attractive people but he doesn’t seem to care about them and his eyes are always on you 
A model could walk by and he’d be too busy pulling your chair to notice 
That’s how you’d know he’s serious. It’s been months and he’s still focused on you? 
Whether or not you share those same feelings is a different story 
Kenshi Takahashi 
Probably one of the hardest to tell 
Idk if this is a headcanon I made up or if it’s canon but I feel like Kenshi is good at hiding certain emotions 
If it’s an emotional moment then yeah, it could slip but this is something more casual 
He wouldn’t say anything but he’d do things for you 
You’d mention you haven’t had time to cook because you’ve been busy and he’d offer to help with whatever 
He’d ask your opinion on stuff first as well 
As friends he makes sure you’re included but it’s even more so if he has a crush (this is not correct English but I cannot think of how else to put this)
One of the other guys would make some joke about him being in love and he’d look at them in a way that would let them know they were right 
Kenshi is not 10 so trying to blackmail him won’t work 
His eyes are always on you and even though he knows he shouldn’t be jealous of other people that are close to you, he can’t help it 
There’s two voices in his head. One says “just tell them”, the other says “you’re gonna mess up your friendship”
So he’d continue to be a little butler lowkey until he actually felt like he had to get a move on 
If someone showed genuine romantic interest in you, then he’d start moving 
He’s either gonna be stereotypically sweet and get flowers and shit or he’s just gonna ask you out at a random time 
Like I said, whether or not you accept his invitation is up to you 
Dude is probably tense as fuck the entire time he’s asking 
Kung Lao
Similar to Johnny 
Kung Lao has such an inflated sense of self, you not liking him makes no sense to him 
Does that mean he just tells you right away though? No
There’s lots of things that make no sense and happen anyway so he plays it safe 
And by safe I mean he is incredibly obvious but doesn’t just straight up tell you 
Lots of flirting and lingering looks 
He does a lot of extra shit then looks to see if you saw it 
It’s like when a kid does a cartwheel then looks to make sure their parents saw them 
He also straight up asks for compliments 
“That was a really good kick, right?”
Sure Kung Lao
He likes compliments way better from you now
He kinda acts the same because everyone knows he has a big head but the flirting makes it obvious 
And Raiden definitely knows. Kung Lao told him because why wouldn’t he?
Anyone joking about stealing you away bothers him a lot more than he’d like to admit 
He’s both “I’m Kung Lao. You have no chance” and “but what if they do have a chance?”
Admits his feelings way sooner than Kenshi 
Probably does it extremely casual too just to rip the bandaid off 
You’re standing next to each other and he’s like “we should go on a date on Friday”
Well since you asked so nicely-
Who’s turning down Kung Lao? Let’s be fr for a second 
Raiden
Doesn’t he like Kitana and it was incredibly subtle? I only found out because of intros 
So with that being said, I think it would be difficult to tell 
He’d act the same way he does as your friend 
I think his fear of messing up your friendship would be higher than everyone else 
So he doesn’t say anything 
In a different post I said he’d give you produce as a gift and I think that’s still the same here 
He’s gonna still have the hookup so food is a frequent gift he gives you to show his affection 
He also offers to do tasks for you 
When it comes to training, he’s probably noticeably softer towards you 
His excuse is “oh, I didn’t notice I was doing that”
It’s a terrible lie 
Everyone at some point finds out because he’s constantly staring at you and is soft towards you 
Raiden is a pretty calm person but he’d actually strangle Kung Lao if he said anything. He’d get a toddler’s grip 
You’d probably find out about it from the other guys instead of him 
And you’d think they’re just fucking around like they always do 
Raiden still refuses to confess. He doesn’t wanna confess then lose you completely 
And tbh he’d probably take so long, you’d get into other relationships and he’d just watch 
Finally though after 279373 years he’d confess which would free him from his emotions and Kung Lao harassing him 
Liu Kang
I think there’d be two stages to this 
The first stage is “I’ll just ignore it”
During this stage he’ll try to ignore his feelings for you because bullshit comes after Liu Kang constantly and dragging you into that is something he definitely doesn’t wanna do 
There’s a good chance you were in the previous timeline and you died horribly so he wants to stay away so he doesn’t fuck up this new life for you 
During this time he’d compliment you on your skills and be a lot more patient with you when it comes to you screwing up (which is something everyone does)
He either involves you in a lot of missions of sidelines you so you won’t be hurt 
Which is kinda shitty because that means he’s sending other people into dangerous situations 
Soon after this stage, he enters the second stage 
This stage is the “fuck it” stage 
Liu Kang does not have a good history when it comes to romance 
He was way too slow and lost Kitana (multiple times I think. I don’t remember what happened in the dlc in MK11) and now in this timeline, Kitana has no memory of them and has no feelings for him. Then he saw his Kitana but they can’t be together. 
Because of this he realizes that he has to start moving quicker and prioritizing his happiness 
So he just asks 
It’s better to hear “no” than to always wonder what could’ve been 
But bitch who is turning down Liu Kang? Don’t be stupid 
He’d probably take you to a secluded spot and say how he feels and ask you to go on a date with him 
It seems like it came out of nowhere but if you review what’s happened between you two, it’ll start to make sense 
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themultifanshipper · 7 months ago
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George knew he was fucked.
Well, preferably he was going to be doing the fucking.
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Warnings: being disgusting in public, infidelity? Kinda fluffy? Idk
George spotted you from across the paddock on media day. You were new on the media team but you were already proving to be a force to be reckoned with. Didn't take anyone's bullshit, didn't ask mundane, stupid questions that made the drivers internally cringe. You were smart, that much was obvious the first time meeting you, and it didn't take long for the drivers to warm to you, especially George.
He was instantly drawn to you and always went out of his way to talk to you first, guaranteeing he'd be in a good mood for the rest of the day.
Then he spotted you from across the dance floor after the last race of the season, at some overpriced privatised club everyone was invited to celebrate at.
You were wearing a strapless thing that showed off your figure, perhaps more than was appropriate, but it was certainly effective in making sure you caught his eye constantly, only leaving the dance floor periodically to get drinks.
Every time you walked past him he would catch your eye and you would exchange winks and conspiratorial grins.
That night, he decided he needed you. He walked over and you danced awkwardly for a while, in true George fashion, but the songs got slower and it quickly turned into dirty whispers and roaming hands.
If you asked anyone else, your behaviour would be qualified as indecent, and even Lando, the expert on public indecency, told you to "maybe cool it a bit". But George's thigh between your legs made it hard to think straight and soon enough the two of you needed your clothes off.
You inevitably ended up in his hotel room and he picked you apart, learning the ins and outs of your body.
He made you writhe, gasp, shiver and moan in pitches you didn't know you could manage, and you knew you were screwed. Ruined for anyone else.
That was the first time. And you both knew it wouldn't be the last. His house, his drivers room, various private jets, clubs, hotels all around the world, Charles' yacht (that was a night to remember, Charles' scream still ringing out in the collective memory).
You were convinced Carmen knew about it. How could she not? The two of you were inseperable, fucking like rabbits all over the place. It was clear to anyone who knew the two of you that you were made for each other.
But as it turned out Carmen didn't care at all, only interested in sponsors and her carefully curated PR image that made her rich. So the only reputation their breakup could hurt was George's.
And it didn't really hurt it, let's be honest. Famous, popular Mercedes formula 1 driver George Russell could pick whoever the fuck he wanted, and that was you.
You celebrated with champagne and a very drunken, very public wedding in Vegas at the Grand Prix, which just happened to be the next weekend...
It was quite the blowout. All the drivers showed up, showering you in champagne which almost made you cry with how symbolic it was of their acceptance of you into the F1 family.
But it didn't take long for you and George to dissappear into the night together, stumbling along, giggling away as you made your way slowly up to your hotel room.
He undressed you carefully, worshipping your body like it was made just for him. He spent over an hour between your legs, sliding his tongue over every inch of skin he could find, sucking and biting the sensitive skin until you were begging him for release, which he took pleasure in denying over and over again.
When he finally slid into you, rubbing gentle circles over your clit, you were so riled up you came instantly. The feeling of being filled and stretched enough to send you over the edge.
He didn't stop though as you held on to his hair and scratched down his back, driving the final nail in the coffin that sent him over the edge as well.
You fell asleep like that, and when you woke up you went again, and then once again after breakfast, plastic ring pops hanging on to your fingers for dear life.
You were in love with George Russell, and he was equally in love with you.
Horny bastards that you were.
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corviiids · 2 months ago
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ooh idk if you've talked about this one before, but what about goro akechi for the kira game?
HI RAPS
verdict: im prepared for this to be controversial, but consider this: ive never been wrong in my whole life. i think goro akechi could beat kira, but i don't know if he'd be happy with the outcome.
could goro akechi identify light yagami
im answering this one first because i want to make a point about this. listen. i feel like due to akechi's whole Plot where he Fakes Solving Cases For Clout, people forget that he actually is a really smart person and a good detective. like, he's not the super prodigy genius he pretends to be, but he's not a fake detective. he faked solving those shutdown cases for extremely specific reasons:
he was the fucking perpetrator so it served him to take control of the public understanding of the investigation into them and control the narrative; and
those cases were particularly high profile and would have been impossible to solve by anyone else, so 'solving' them would catapult him into notoriety faster than anything else - it was a clout speedrun, which is what he and shido needed.
but there are numerous other cases and puzzles in various bits of p5 media that he solves without faking them, plus we see plenty of occasions where he demonstrates his high intellect. the casino is a great example because i feel like the game takes that palace as an opportunity and relishes in letting you know what akechi can really do. the anime and the mementos mission manga both have subplots where akechi solves / helps to solve legitimate mysteries. and of course the famed unused mementos request in p5r which i think about all the time. it's kind of a shame that akechi's fake cases end up overshadowing all his real ones when he's a legitimately competent detective, even if he's not the impossible prodigy he projects as and even if he's nowhere near the level L is.
of course there's also the obvious one! while we are all aware that the phantom thieves are the least subtle people on the planet, and all ren's confidants eventually work it out just because he's so deeply unsubtle about it, it is still the case akechi identified them as persons of interest very early on, before pretty much anyone else (partly by intellect, partly by his metaverse advantage, i'll get to that). that's relevant because i think the phantom thieves are reasonably analogous to kira in the sense that they're utilising supernatural methods to target individuals which are untraceable via ordinary means.
now i dont think akechi could identify kira nearly as quickly or cleanly as L could, but i do think that if you placed him in charge of the investigation with all the investigative resources of the prosecutor's office / police department, he would be able to identify light as at least a person of interest in a reasonable amount of time, for two main reasons
light is more sneaky than the phantom thieves, but also makes the same kinds of identifiable mistakes that the PT do (eg targeting people in a set area, operating in such a way that it's possible to identify him as a student, being easily provoked, etc); and
unlike L, akechi has supernatural powers.
which brings me to:
could goro akechi intuit the mechanics of the death note
no, i don't think so, not on his own. but he wouldn't need to, because he has access to the metaverse.
we're back at the universe question. i think to fairly answer 'could they beat kira' questions we have to give our detective character all the advantages they have access to in their home universe, which means that akechi not only has his intellect but also has the metaverse, his persona, and his experience traversing the collective unconscious. (by the way, here's my post about what if light yagami had a palace.)
which means that once goro akechi has identified light as a person of interest, not even needing to ID him as a particular suspect, he can check whether the metanav gives him a hit. then he could infiltrate light's palace / find him in mementos (let's be real it's gonna be a palace) and find out the rest of what he needs to know from there. the metaverse isn't only useful for changing hearts and causing shutdowns. shadows are very forthcoming about their evil plans. all akechi would need to do is find light's shadow, and he'd find out everything he needs to know about the death note and kira's new world.
(follow-up question for fun: if akechi didn't have the metaverse, would he be able to intuit the mechanics of the death note? i think that akechi would ultimately get to the same point as L, namely, that kira needs a name and a face, but the specifics of 'magic murder notebook' would escape him. so no.)
could goro akechi survive
i think this would really depend on the context in which this investigation is taking place, but broadly i think it's likely? not certain, but it's likely. it depends on how reactive light is and depends on how well akechi reads the kira situation early on.
akechi is pretty shrewd, with the exception of major blindspots where someone he has a grudge against is concerned (hence why he's vulnerable to shido and to ren's plots). but i think kira is dangerous enough that akechi would be on pretty high alert from the start. in canon he's cunning enough to make false statements to the media to trick the thieves into thinking he's at least partially on their side / not an unambiguous enemy (that's the same strategy used in romance ha ha ha) so i think once akechi identified a person of interest he wouldn't be stupid enough to publicise that he's closing in on them and would probably start leaking false theories to make light think he's completely off the trail - after all, unlike L, akechi's name and face are completely public, so it would be way too risky to make light feel cornered. it would be smartest to play up the shallow celebrity angle to make think light he's just a dumbass idiot talking a big game.
i think akechi would bank on kira's MO of only killing criminals. after all, light didn't try to kill L until L deliberately goaded him into it - it's unlikely that akechi would have a reason to think that light would try to kill him just for investigating. up until that point kira has been masquerading as an icon of justice, so it would (and canonically did) take a lot to make kira veer from that ideology into killing investigators just because they threatened him. however, it's not impossible given nobody really knows anything about kira at that stage, so while akechi might make it public information that he's investigating kira, he wouldn't let on that he thought light was a threat.
then he could either:
initiate a surprise raid on light to get the death note based on information gained from light's shadow - risky because if it goes wrong light will kill him, but this will net him the most glory
(pre-phantom thieves) kill light - stops the murders but means akechi doesn't get clout for solving the kira murders single-handedly, not preferable
(post-phantom thieves) change light's heart - akechi also doesn't get credit and would be reluctant besides
so it depends how we're defining success i guess. could akechi beat light by killing light? likely yes, by simply causing a shutdown before putting light on notice that akechi was on his trail at all. could akechi beat light by apprehending light? maybe, it depends, it's risky. could akechi beat light by changing his heart? only if the thieves are involved.
so i guess the answer is yes i think akechi has the capacity to beat kira but probably not in a way that akechi himself is satisfied with and it wouldn't be a sure thing. it could go either way.
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redr0sewrites · 9 months ago
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Hi, I love your works! Can you write a hazbin hotel Lucifer x gn punk reader? Like, they dress punk, listen to punk music and are pretty rebellious anarchists? Tysm
YESSSS OFC!!!! also random rose lore but i am such a big green day fan and my mom once went to a green day concert and she talks ab it all the time-
🥀Cw: fluff, Lucifer being a sweetie
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🥀HCs:
Lucifer was probably a little confused about your style and ideals when he first met you
he would ask you soooooo many questions about your outfits
hes a little awkward, but he means well 😭
he definitely asked you for music recommendations because you seemed really interested and invested in your style of music
when you started talking all excitedly about your favorite bands and music taste, Lucifer found himself enraptured by your love for the things you enjoy
Lucifer admires your individuality and how you stay true to the things you enjoy, and he also loves your spunky attitude
deep down, he despises heaven and authority figures as much as anyone else and he thinks its hilarious that the two of you are dating
an anarchist and the literal king of hell
once u start recommending your music to him, hes hooked
suddenly every rock or punk song he listens to reminds him of you, and he adores it
i think he'd really enjoy green day, maybe x ray spex too, but he'll ultimately listen to anything u want him too
lucifer ADORES your style too
if you wear studded patch jackets, vests, etc he DEFINITELY designs patches and studs for you
he would give u a little duck or apple pin to put on your jacket!!!
lucifer will help you out with your hair too, he loves detangling it at the end of the day and washing all of the hair spray and spiky styling out
would def help you dye it fun colors too
i mentioned this in my goth hcs, but if you wear a lot of jewelry he loves to fiddle and fidget with it while he's bored
like he'll just be standing next to you and all of a sudden he's playing with the chain necklaces you're wearing or poking the spikes and studs on your jacket just bc he's bored
overall, he's super supportive and sweet
"are you ready, duckling?" Lucifer called, waiting for you to finish getting ready. he had decided to take you out on a date tonight- not to a fancy establishment, no, but to a more hell-born central part of the pentagram to visit some knock-off theme park you'd mentioned weeks ago called LooLoo Land. the both of you thought that the obvious copyright of Lu Lu World was hilarious, and what better place to go on a date than a shitty theme park?
"I'm coming Luci, give me a sec!" you shout, "i'm just finishing up with my accessories". Lucifer hums in response, soon bursting into giggles as you come hurdling down the stairs, tackling him in a hug. you both pulled away after a few seconds, and Lucifer stepped back to admire your outfit. "Is it just me, or have you gotten spikier?" Lucifer chuckled, poking a stud on your jacket as you roll your eyes. "C'mon you, we have to go!" you smile, dragging him out the door as he admired your determined expression. "driving or teleporting?" you ask, and Lucifer shrugs. "you're no help," you grumble, but take his hand. "let's teleport, it'll be quicker." with a smile, Lucifer opens a portal. "Whatever you wish, dear ~"
RAHHHHHH💯💯💯 this one required a bit of research cuz idk as much ab punk culture/music as ik ab goth stuff, but it was still sm fun to write!!!!!
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kradogsrats · 4 months ago
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like idk maybe this isn't obvious but... post s6 it seems pretty clear that Aaravos's spirit was imprisoned, not his body?
He has Callum switch the pearls, rather than just smash the one that is the prison. It could be that he can't control Callum well enough at this juncture to do something like consciously break the prison open (vs. unconsciously grabbing the wrong one), but no matter how vigilant Callum has become... that just doesn't seem super likely? I think it's more that Callum just can't really do anything useful for him, at the time. He's not crammed in there physically like it's a pokeball—if the prison was broken open, he would have to return to the heavens... and I think there's some reason he doesn't want to do that. He needs to wait for the prison and the staff to be together so the quasar diamond is available.
The Orphan Queen had the Novablade. Could she have been keeping it safe so that no one could free Aaravos and then use it to send him back to the heavens? I guess... but honestly that doesn't make a ton of sense to me. If he's out, he's out—you aren't going to have fewer problems because he's running around corporeally vs. not. No, I think she used it on him. I think they set up a trap where the prison was ready to contain his spirit, then destroyed his physical form to force him into it.
Claudia has to magically build a new body for him. I don't really know what else to say about that? Like that's just literally what happens. I might do a post about the spell itself later, because it's really interesting, but like... it is what it is. They are deliberately drawing a parallel between Aaravos's state and, say, Runaan's. I will also note that it definitely seems like it's a new body for Runaan because he's missing the binding and his arm is uninjured.... but on the other hand, his horn is broken, and it's anyone's guess where the pants came from, so who knows.
Some takeaways:
The Jailer: possibly a lot more fucked up than anticipated, if she knew how to do this!
Archmage Akiyu: FUCK so I don't remember who it was but someone compared Aaravos's prison to a primal stone in the context of having captured an entire physical area/phenomenon in an orb, and I THINK THAT WAS APT. Though I don't personally think it's physical, I've previously noted the possible relationship between primal stones and the draining/storing essence concept of the staff and coins. We don't know a lot about creating primal stones, but at least one source says only archmages are powerful enough to do so.
The Orphan Queen: definitely stabbed a bitch.
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clover-system · 5 months ago
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The longest list of anti-endo sources I've ever seen
While trying to find something else using Tumblr's infamous search engine, I came across this absolute gem:
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NINE SOURCES!!! That's a record!! This is incredible!
@radpocalypse, listen. I am about to tear these to shreds, but before I do, I want you to know that you have my respect for not only compiling the longest list of sources I have ever seen an anti-endo provide, and not only doing so seemingly not directly prompted, but typing out every single link by hand, on mobile, without making a single mistake. Incredible work.
And also, to be completely honest, if I had nine sources supporting a belief, I almost certainly wouldn't look into them this closely. But, hey, that's what strangers on the internet with opposing views are for.
One more thing before the debunk: Endogenic systems do not claim to have DID etc. without trauma. They just don't. Whether it could be possible is often debated as an edge case, usually just to win an argument against someone of the opposing side, but really, it's irrelevant for 99% of the community. A good chunk are questioning OSDD based on later trauma, but as far as I am aware, no one on this website is claiming a completely endogenic plural disorder.
However, I don't want to dismiss entire pages based on this alone without further commentary, and it's a fun intellectual exercise regardless. So, whenever I use green text, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate under the premise of "If I was claiming to have DID without trauma (which neither I nor anyone else afaik is), would this source actually debunk that claim?" My syster will also occasionally pop in with purple, since she was cocon while I was writing this.
My dad just walked into my room and literally said "hey how it's going". You know, like. Like that one post. Amazing.
Anyway, civility established. Now come along with me on this long long journey of ten minutes of reading. Maybe put some music on in the background, if that will help you get through it. I had Near's Theme on while writing.
Here we go.
Link 1: McLean Hospital
Ok, main thing that caught my eye was
According to a 2010 Psychiatric Times article, only 5% of people with DID exhibit obvious switching between identity “states.”
Very interesting! Even with all of the "idk who's fronting" memes, 5% is really not that high. Though maybe online spaces like these help train the ability to identify it? The reference trail leads back to a book by Kluft but I don't really feel like going through dozens of pages for this. Definitely making a note of this though; I wonder if there have been any follow-up studies on this.
Not much to say here other than that. No mention of plurality outside DID.
DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood.
Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma.
Dissociative identity disorder—a type of dissociative disorder—most often develops during early childhood in kids who are experiencing long-term trauma. This typically involves emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse; neglect; and highly unpredictable interactions with caregivers.
Why "associated", not "is caused by"? Why "can", not "is"? Why "most often", etc.?
Why such weak language?
Not that it couldn't be weaker.
I vaguely remember McLean getting into some hot water regarding a video they posted about DID, but didn't find anything concrete. Half-remembered anecdote aside, the author seems well-qualified.
C-tier debunk of this position. It's not nothing but it could be a lot better.
Link 2: Psych Central
It occurs in women 9 times more often than in men.
Very interesting statistic, but no citation provided.
Alters can show striking differences. For instance, one alter may speak with a different accent or have a softer way of speaking. They might have different opinions or a different gender identity, and even physical differences — like left- or right-handedness, or the need for a glasses prescription.
That's quite a stark difference here compared to the McLean article. What happened to "alters aren't that noticeable"?
But whatever, these are just interesting tidbits. None of this has anything to do with endogenic plurality. Nothing like "this is the only way to be multiple", no comment whatsoever.
DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories.
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition with strong links to trauma, especially trauma in childhood.
Bruh. This again?
In fact, the American Psychiatric Association reports that 90% of people with DID have a history of childhood abuse and neglect, based on research from the United States, Canada, and Europe.
Bruh. Seriously? 90%? You know what that leaves, right?
According to your own source, 10% of DID systems are endogenic.
But let's break this down. There's a big difference between the system being endogenic, and the DID being endogenic. This statistic is specifically referring to childhood trauma.
The wording's plenty vague though. This can absolutely be read as completely endogenic DID.
One review article from 2017 about the causes of DID noted that there was relatively little research on the condition to date.
The authors said researchers hadn’t yet investigated potential genetic and epigenetic factors. With epigenetic factors, the experiences and behaviors of your parents and ancestors can influence the function of the genes they pass down to you.
The authors of the review said scientists needed to do more research to investigate whether a person with DID might carry genes that can influence if they develop the condition or not.
This is particularly promising because studies have already shown that genes can influence dissociative disorders in general.
So you're telling me DID might be able to be passed down one or two generations? Wow. Again, this still has nothing to do with endogenic plurality, but I'm really glad I decided to play with this second angle, because it's so much more fun. We're certainly not at intentional self-inflicted DID here, but we are at this point a long way from certainly needing childhood trauma in all cases.
And also the reviewer is a military psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. So uh. Not bringing our best here.
Link 3: Mayo Clinic
Gotta love an article that's nice and short. This is just a brief summary of a bunch of dissociative disorders. Again, nothing about endogenic plurality.
Starting to run out of things to say about this. This whole post could probably be a fifth the length if I didn't feel like playing on hard mode.
Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this disorder involves "switching" to other identities. You may feel as if you have two or more people talking or living inside your head. You may feel like you're possessed by other identities.
Each identity may have a unique name, personal history and features. These identities sometimes include differences in voice, gender, mannerisms and even such physical qualities as the need for eyeglasses.
Hey, that reminds me of someone.
There also are differences in how familiar each identity is with the others. Dissociative identity disorder usually also includes bouts of amnesia and often includes times of confused wandering.
Again, McLean looking really odd with its declaration of DID's covertness against great detail like this. However, its author is so far the best qualified. This one just says "Mayo Clinic Staff". Can't even know which of them worked on this. Some of them are psychs, but if any of them specialize in dissociative disorders, it doesn't say so.
Dissociative disorders usually arise as a reaction to shocking, distressing or painful events and help push away difficult memories.
I won't bother quoting even more wishy-washy language because this post is already at an ungodly length (about 1300 words so far) and we're barely a third done. But yeah, suffice to say, no nail-in-the-coffin 100% link to trauma.
Link 4: Rethink
We are a trusted information creator and accredited by the Patient Information Forum (PIF).
Their bold, for once. That's an alarm-ringing corporate phrase if I've ever seen one. Also, first thing on the PIF's website is "balancing the risks and benefits of AI in the production of health information". So this article might've been written by GPT. Awesome. And yeah, a lot of this whole website looks to me like a bunch of interconnected pages with stupidly long articles written by stitching together LLM generations. Does pass GPT0's test though.
This one is so long. I'll take the ten minutes to read through every word, which I don't think @radpocalypse did, just to make sure there's nothing here, but one thing that does catch my eye scrolling down to near the bottom is that they misspelled their first citation.
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A quick look at this Carolyn Spring shows a lot being sold and credentials nowhere in sight. Awesome.
So already I don't need to read this. The information here is not at a high level of trustworthiness. It's maybe better than nothing, but seriously, one can and should do better. But I'll read it anyway, just for bonus points. Thanks to AccelaReader for making this bearable.
Many people will experience dissociation at some point in their lives. Lots of different things can cause you to dissociate. For example, you might dissociate when you are very stressed, or after something traumatic has happened to you.
Some of the symptoms of dissociation include the following:
You may have clear multiple identities.
It‘s important to remember that you could have the symptoms of dissociation without a dissociative disorder.
So according to this, multiple identities can be caused by intense but non-traumatic stress, and might not necessarily be a disorder. So, while I admit this is a little bit of a stretch, we're four links in and this is the first mention of plurality in general, so I'll take it. One point for endogenic plurality. (And again, none of this really matters anyway because this is the worst source so far.)
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is sometimes called ‘Multiple Personality Disorder.
If you have DID you might seem to have 2 or more different identities, called ‘alternate identities.
Two missing closing quotes. Really not a good sign.
They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood.
Aha! Finally, something concrete against endogenic DID! Too bad it's buried in the worst source yet. If we believed we had DID, we would absolutely not reconsider that based on a sketchy webpage with suboptimal syntax and no credentials.
Ugh, finally done with that one. What a slog.
Link 5: DID Research
Aha! The infamous psych student's blog! That's what Sophie said, anyway. Not taking her word for it though. Let's see what we can find here, independently.
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the result of repeated or long-term childhood trauma
Why wasn't this first? First sentence, so crystal clear. No two ways about this, transDID destroyed right out of the gate.
DID cannot form after ages 6-9 because individuals older than these ages have an integrated self identity and history.
Why wasn't this first? It's so plain, so refreshing after four pages of strategic ambiguity. Nothing left here for green. But still no mention of non-disordered plurality.
The author is impressively credentialed but doesn't seem to specialize quite near this area. She's certainly better than most, high above any random Tumblr user talking out of their ass, but the good stuff would be to get a DID specialist to explicitly spell out that endogenic systems are not possible.
Also should make note of this big fat legal disclaimer:
While the author strives to make information on this website as complete, reliable, and accurate as possible, the author makes no claims, promises, guarantees, or warranties about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents of this site and expressly disclaims liability for errors and omissions in the contents of this site.
If we did claim to have DID, this would rattle us a little but could ultimately be brushed aside.
Link 6: SANE
As usual, literally nothing about endogenic plurality. I'll just greenmode this.
The majority of people with DID have been through severe trauma in early childhood
And now back to our regularly scheduled nondefinitive language.
Fun fact: highlighting text on this website turns it invisible. Awesome.
A person needs to meet the following criteria to be diagnosed with DID:
- Two or more distinct identities or personality states, each with its own way of thinking and relating. - Amnesia and gaps in the recall of everyday events, personal information or traumatic events. - The experiences are not part of normal cultural or religious practice, or part of childhood imaginary play. For example, a child having an imaginary friend does not mean they have DID. - The symptoms are not because of substance abuse or other medical conditions.
Ah finally, a direct quote from the good ol' DSM. Notice the lack of a trauma requirement.
Funny enough, using only these criteria in isolation, we actually would count as having DID due to our grayout memory gaps when switching. DID is also listed in the dissociative disorders section of the DSM, not the trauma disorders section, so there is no implied criterion there either. However, there still remains the universal criterion of distress, which we do not fulfill. We are quite happy with ourselves.
DID is caused by severe childhood trauma, such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse.
Well, which is it?? Is it a majority association or a direct cause? Why the contradiction? Or is the emphasis on early childhood trauma?
Eh, whatever. Point is, green is once again shut down. But there is still no mention of endogenic plurality anywhere here!!
And no indication of who wrote this article, though the citation for direct cause is a dissociative disorder specialist. Does he actually say that in the cited paper, though?
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is multifactorial in its etiology. Whereas psychosocial etiologies of DID include developmental traumatization and sociocognitive sequelae, biological factors include trauma-generated neurobiological responses. Biologically derived traits and epigenetic mechanisms are also likely to be at play. At this point, no direct examination of genetics has occurred in DID. However, it is likely to exist, given the genetic link to dissociation in general and in relation to childhood adversity in particular.
I hope you have a dictionary on hand. That sure is a lot of big words that aren't in Firefox's built-in spellchecker. Still, after making sure I got everything, it's clearly not so cut and dry here. And we're back on the "it could be genetic" point.
Tangentially related: I do like the dismissal of the iatrogenic model on the basis of the brain scans.
Neurobiological differences have been demonstrated between dissociative identities within patients with DID and between patients with DID and controls. Given the current evidence, DID as a diagnostic entity cannot be explained as a phenomenon created by iatrogenic influences, suggestibility, malingering, or social role-taking. On the contrary, DID is an empirically robust chronic psychiatric disorder based on neurobiological, cognitive, and interpersonal non-integration as a response to unbearable stress.
Anyway, we're not even on the original page anymore, so I'll call it here. No mention of endogenic plurality, and the citation that claims to dismiss endogenic DID doesn't.
Link 7: NAMI Michigan
While the causes [of DID] are unknown
I'm tired. Aren't you tired?
Treatment for DID consists primarily of psychotherapy with hypnosis.
Yeah I'm calling BS on this one
And no citations on this entire page, nor even the author's name.
Statistics show that DID occurs in 0.01 to 1 percent of the general population.
Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old.
No sources listed. This is definitely the worst link. Literally on the same level as a rambling Tumblr user in terms of credibility.
Doesn't matter that it says
This disorder is believed to be triggered by physical or sexual abuse in childhood
Couldn't even get this dogshit source to be firm.
This one gets an F.
Link 8: The Psychology Practice
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Got scared for a moment there that it said ai. No, that's AL, a name. Also this was written in 2022, so we're definitely safe. Can't actually find any other info on this AL character, but at least we can look up the co-author.
Hm, can't find anything on her, either. Well, at least this is a step up from the previous link. Let's see what it has to say.
According to the Dissociative Identity Research Organisation (2018), DID is formed in childhood due to repeated trauma in early childhood (before age 10) before the personality is fully integrated.
I do like that these later links are direct with this. They don't seem to have a citation for that DIRO, though. Unless...
No. Oh no.
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Ok, so this one was written by a couple of clowns who definitely didn't do their homework. Cool. I'm getting tired of humoring awful sources like this, so moving on to the grand finale.
Link 9: NAMI
Wait, this is the same group behind the zero-citation article from Michigan! But that was just Michigan. Maybe the main site can do better.
Ugh, it's just another list of dissociative disorders instead of DID specifically.
The symptoms of a dissociative disorder usually first develop as a response to a traumatic event,
Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired?
Often these identities may have unique names, characteristics, mannerisms and voices.
Often? Wow. Sure is a far cry from 5%.
Dissociative disorders are managed through various therapies including: - Psychotherapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) - Medications such as antidepressants can treat symptoms of related conditions
No mention of hypnosis, allegedly the primary method of treatment?? (/sarc)
and there was no mention of plurality being exclusive to dissociative disorders
Oh, and no listed authors either.
So, after three thousand words of analysis, all we've come up with are nothing burgers, dogshit, and dogshit nothing burgers. Out of nine links, only one briefly and indirectly touched on endogenic plurality, and it was in favor. Even the argument against the traumaless DID strawman is weak at best. These sources are bad, to put it lightly.
@radpocalypse, if you're reading this, firstly, thank you for powering through your ADHD and dyslexia to read thousands of words dunking on your masterpiece. Secondly, if you have any more sources that you think are backing you, feel free to send them my way. Just uh, maybe read them more closely next time?
And that goes for everyone here. If you think you have a better source, or if I made a mistake or missed something here, I am open to correction. I am open to the idea that I'm wrong and I have some unknown trauma to work through, but I certainly won't go digging unless I have good reason to believe it's there, and I haven't seen any good reason. And if you haven't either, maybe it's time to reconsider your position.
One last thing before I go.
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Have you ever actually seen a pro-endo carrd, let alone one cited in standalone? I haven't.
Here's a much longer list of much better sources than yours supporting endogenic plurality compiled by the traumagenic Guardians System. I don't expect you to read anywhere near the whole thing; just pick a few links at random. And yes, while many of them are peer-reviewed papers, some of them are Tumblr posts, but those Tumblr posts cite peer-reviewed papers, so it's all good.
Thanks for reading.
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starfall-dream · 3 months ago
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(I can only hope Tumblr doesn't eat this.)
I've just been thinking about this AU and how the reader might not even be aware or realize when the other companions start to obsess over them (especially if they're giving romantic signals and trying to flirt) just due to cultural differences and the reader not fully knowing things about the world or even just past experiences and how difficult that might be for the companions.
Like I know for myself (just because it's where my experience is), I am rather oblivious when it comes to being flirted with and picking up on those sorts or cues. Plus, most of them flirt with one another platonically (and not to mention the whole "let's fluster this person because their reactions are easy to get out of them" stuff)
So if someone like Astarion or Wyll pops up and starts flirting and throwing their innuendos it's like a 33.3% chance each I a) think he's meaning it platonically, b) just short circuit because easily flustered, or c) unwillingly just refuse to pick up on it somehow even if it's "obvious" to everyone else.
Not to even mention how different races try to court or flirt. I would assume that High-Elfs are different from Wood-Elfs or Drow do, or even Teiflings are very drastically different and that's not even to go into cultural differences from things like location or city or even who raised them! There might even be differences between how Gale does it compared to Wyll just due to how those two cities operate.
Or how the different companions might use that to their advantage, or when some random stranger tries to flirt and the reader just doesn't pick up on it. Like... (apparently, I legit cannot think of anything)
Idk what kind of reader you're thinking of, but it's just something I thought about and just wanted to share.
OMG I love your brain you're so amazing.
controversial take, but I love oblivious readers. In this case, I think your explanation makes a lot of sense, that they're more oblivious because the cultural differences and because of the stressful situation they're in, so it makes sense that once the companions start to obsession over them, they don't even realize it. Plus, they probably think that the companions still don't like them, so they don't really look too much into their nicer actions.
I feel like this kinda works in the favor of the more open companions like Karlach and Halsin. Like they're very much the type of people to just go up and say "I like you" so there really isn't that much confusion. However, it absolutely destroys Astarion, who is so used to being able to use his suave facade to woo anyone, so for it to not work kinda hurts his pride a bit.
I also loved how you brought up how courting might be different for different races. I've mentioned this a while back, but the idea of Halsin, Astarion, and Shadowheart talking about reader in some sort of Elvin language is one of my favorite headcanons. It's even more interesting if the companions are at the point where they're working together.
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obeymematches · 7 months ago
Text
♡How to keep Satan obsessed♡
Yall been liking my posts from 2021 and it reminded me that i started doing this series-
● Okay the worst thing you can do is try to control him. Tell him what to do and how to do it and that's the last straw before he loses interest. Yes he is very independent and he loves his freedom. Telling him to "text/call when you get there" is also more negative than positive.
● Regarding independence, he also prefers you being your own person, not really depending on him. See you don't have to be a houseowner, you don't have to ask him for permission to spend time together, that's not what I mean, but if you center your life around him he is going to feel overwhelmed.
● He also has a hard time tolerating jealousy. Aren't you grown? Don't you trust him? Why do you have to make a fuss? You are supposed to know him better than this. He would never cheat on you even if his hands are forced to. He doesn't like anyone so if he likes you; you are supposed to feel special & not attack him with things that didn't even happen. Peak stupidity in his eyes.
● Pretending to listen to him but not actually paying attention; instead of that just tell him you don't care, something else is occupying your mind right now and he is being too much. That sounds rude but it is still better than him wasting his breath. He gladly comforts you if you are actually upset; or if you just genuinely don't care it's better that he knows.
● Keep your interactions with people he dislikes to the bare minimum. It might be better for his soul to heal and make peace in the long run - but you are not supposed to force him! You have nothing to do with his beef in any of the cases. Let him be his own man in his own pace. He might never forgive someone and that's also ok! Don't try to change him; but if he needs it be there to support him!
● With him you'll need good communication skills. Being passive aggressive turns him off quickly. Don't even think of the silent treatment. He'll just break up then and there. If you are upset with him/anything and need to be left alone to think for a while, just tell him exactly that! Good communication also includes telling him with your own words that you love and appreciate him! Makes him feel confident! Reassurance is always a good point!
● He definitely enjoys well-thought-of surprises. It could be a handmade gift, doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Just spoil him from time to time, it really does make him feel appreciated!
● idk how to put this but i think he doesn't like horoscopes and crystals as he is trying to be the most rational person to ever exist, so he doesn't like topics like these at all. Personality types are on thin ice also. It's not a total turn-off for him but if you base your entire life around these things he is not going to be interested for long.
● I think it is obvious but he likes his partner to have opinion on lots of things. Hold a proper conversation about intellectual stuff. You don't have to have ambitions or things to achieve in life but if you usually reply "i dunno about that", "never-ever heard of it", that's not gonna end well.
●Yes he is introverted but that doesn't mean he sits at home 24/7 - sometimes he loves going to places, doing and experiencing life, and if he constantly has to nag you to go on a date he is going to get bored fast. It's OK if sometimes you'd rather stay in, don't get me wrong, but literally never going anywhere/only going if he argues about it, is a red flag.
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