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jjscrybaby · 9 days ago

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𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 💿 — 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔

masterlist.

steve harrington x fem!reader | angst/fluff | (a lot of reader x the other characters cause i’m a sucker for found family, i got way too into it and added full on lore so sort of messed up family warning, ptsd. shitty ending cause it was getting a bit long and i wanted to write something else lol.)

writing this made me want to write a full fic about it, but idk if anyone would be interested in that. let me know if you’d want to see something like it! it wouldn’t be exactly the same, obviously, but along the same lines.

��︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Hawkins doesn’t look much different from when you left. The trees are caked in snow, the grass is all dead and icy, the buildings are locked up tight for the night with extra locks because no one ever truly feels safe anymore. You remember, back when you were young, your mom wouldn’t even lock the front door sometimes; it would be dangerous if you lived elsewhere, but Hawkins was known for it’s safety and lack of thugs and thieves.

Your eyes travelled over the empty streets as you drove, nausea sitting uncomfortably in your gut. It had been two years since you last stepped foot in your home-town, and yet everything feels exactly the same.

The house that sat in front of you was decorated head to toe in decorations, lights hanging on the roof and a blow-up snowman on the lawn. Hopper and Joyce loved going all out for their two teens, El never got to experience Christmas before a few years ago and Will deserves to have new memories of Christmas time. You climbed out your car and the front door was pulled open, Jonathon stepped out.

“There she is!” He beamed, stepping towards you with open arms. You grinned, wrapping your own arms around him excitedly.

“Long time no see,” you smiled, pulling away. The nausea settled now that you were seeing a familiar face.

“You’re two hours late, got scared you weren’t coming… again,” Jonathon stated, moving to open your trunk and get your bags for you. You sighed, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m an asshole. I know,” you replied, a self-pitying smile on your face.

He shook his head, closing your trunk and carrying your suitcase under one arm. He ruffled your hair as he walked past and back inside the house, you following close behind. “No one thinks you’re an asshole. We just miss you around here.”

Before you could respond, you were getting bombarded by a girl who has definitely grown over the last two years. El’s arms wrapped around your waist, smiling up at you. “You’re here!”

“Hey,” you greet enthusiastically. She’d learnt a lot over the last couple years, you could tell from the monthly calls you have, but you didn’t think she fully understood why you hadn’t come back to visit yet — she may be the only one.

“Your hairs different,” she stated, tugging on the ends of your hair. You just laughed as Hopper, Joyce and Will also appeared in the hallway.

“Hi, honey,” Joyce said warmly, hugging you.

Hopper was next, kissing the top of your head; he’d definitely softened since the last battle. Will had grown the most, towering over you now as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Look at you,” you laughed. “Not 4’11 anymore, huh?”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, smiling sheepishly.

“How was the drive?” Joyce asked, arm wrapping around your waist as she lead you through the foreign house and into the kitchen.

They’d moved in here just after the final battle, but you’d also left at the same time. You’d seen pictures from El mailing them to you, but you’d never actually seen it with your own eyes. It was homely, comforting, a lot like the old Byers’ house. You were happy they’d made the decision to move back to Hawkins rather than go back to California, it was obvious no one was enjoying it there and Hopper didn’t want to leave.

“Exhausting,” you sighed, leaning against the counter as Joyce turned on the kettle.

“Well, we’re happy you’re here,” Hopper smiled. “It means those two can finally stop pacing the house.” He pointed to El and Will.

“We weren’t,” El argued, shaking her head.

“Not sure how your feet aren’t aching by now,” Hopper teased, making her stick her tongue out at him.

You smiled softly at the exchange. You could remember when you all thought he was dead, the effect it had on Eleven. It had broken your heart, for more reasons than one. Growing up, you’d spent countless hours in his office at the station; petty theft, underage drinking, cps calls. He became somewhat of a dad to you too, and yet you still left him behind.

“I missed you guys, too,” you smirk, ruffling both the teens hair. They groaned, pushing you away as if you were an overbearing mother.

“I think they all missed you. Robin and Dustin spent an entire week trying to talk their way into being here when you arrived, but we figured you’d be tired and those two are the last people you want to see when you’re tired,” Joyce explained.

Robin and Dustin, two of the ones you missed the most, but not the one. Seeing them would just remind you of him, although you were well aware you’d be seeing him as well. You’d been so close to cancelling, making up an excuse about having to work Christmas Day and promising to see them in the New year, but you did that last year. You felt guilty, and deep down you didn’t want to spend Christmas alone in your dingy apartment in a city you hate.

“I’ve put your bags in the guest room,” Jonathon said, walking into the kitchen just as Joyce started to pour cups of tea.

“The guest room? Damn, this place is fancy,” you joked.

“Technically it’s meant to be El’s room, but she spends most nights on a mattress on Will’s floor,” Hopper explained with a pointed look at his daughter. You couldn’t blame her, she’d grown up completely alone; it was about time she had people around her.

You sat around and drank tea in the living room, a Christmas movie playing as white noise in the background as you chatted about your life now, and theirs. You heard all about school for the teens, about Jonathon’s new job and him and Nancy thinking of getting their own place, about Hopper and Joyce’s wedding plans. That was another thing you’d have to visit for, but at least there would be more people; easier to hide in the shadows.

When you crawled into bed, pyjamas on and eye bags heavy, the door creaked open. Joyce stood there, coming to sit on the edge of the bed when you gave her a warm, sleepy smile.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” She asked quietly, incase anyone was listening in.

Tomorrow. Christmas Eve. The day you’ll have to see everyone again, the day you’ll have to see him.

“I’m feeling okay. I’m excited to see everyone,” you murmured back.

“You know we’re all here for you? If you need a break or anything…” she trailed off, but you knew what she meant.

“Thankyou, Joyce. And thankyou for letting me stay here. Robin offered, but I didn’t really want to stay with her and… y’know,” you explained softly.

“No worries, we’re happy to have you. We’d keep you forever if we could,” she joked, making you laugh tiredly. “Go on, get some rest. El will be waking you up nice and early, she’s been practicing making breakfast.”

“God help us,” you muttered, making her laugh. “Night, Joyce.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

As you’d been warned, El woke you up just past eight am to cook breakfast together. You’d all sat down and eaten the eggs and bacon, talking about the plans for the day. Today was supposed to be more chill, just meant for reuniting and getting more into the Christmas spirit. It was tomorrow, Christmas Day, when things would become more intense.

You showered and dressed, putting on some jeans and a white, long-sleeved top. When you went down the stairs, Nancy was already here. She gave you a welcoming hug. The two of you were never that close, but when you’ve fought literal demons together you become family.

Next was Mike, who gave you a hug and then an insult just to not cringe himself out. Then came Lucas and Max, her walking had improved by far; she barely had to use the crutches anymore. When the next knock on the door came, you held your breath. Joyce pulled it open and Dustin and Robin stood there, barging past her to get to you. You laughed as they tackled you in hugs, telling you how mean you were for not visiting more recently. When you looked up though, the smile dropped off your face. There he stood, holding a homemade pie with a stupid Christmas jumper on as he said hello to Joyce.

For a moment, time stood still. You were 17 again, utterly in love with Steve Harrington. He was just as in love with you, the two of you sat three years ago watching Christmas movies and feeding each other cookies after you’d cried in his arms over all the people you’d lost. Joyce and the kids had been in California, Max had been pretending you all didn’t exist as Lucas tried to get her to let him in, everything had sucked. It had sucked a little less with him by your side, though. You’d at least had a shoulder to cry on.

“Hi,” he murmured, a gentle smile on his lips as he stepped towards you. Joyce had taken the pie, that meant his arms were free. Were you supposed to hug him? Shake hands? How did you greet your former soulmate?

“Hi,” you echoed, just as softly as him. Eyes were on the two of you, everyone waiting to see what you would do; you felt just as lost as them.

He made the decision, strong arms wrapping around your waist in a fleeting hug. His cologne filled your nose, the same one he’d been wearing since he was fifteen. He pulled away, hands lingering just under your shirt as he stared down at you.

The breakup wasn’t his decision, which was why you’d been so anxious to see him. What if he hated you for how you left things? One second you were planning on moving in together, and the next you were telling him you couldn’t do this anymore and fleeing across the country. You hadn’t even heard his voice since that night.

“You look good,” he complimented, taking in your appearance.

“You too,” you smiled. He looked different, yet the same. His hair still perfect and eyes still warm. There was an exhaustion behind them, one that all of you shared. He was freshly shaved, very clean looking. He always had been, though. With his parents being so pristine, he had to be. You were the lucky one that got to see him before he was ready for the day, messy hair and sweats on. You always thought he looked perfect.

“Let’s go sit,” Joyce decided, noticing the slight awkwardness between the pair of you.

The large group of you moved to the living room, all squeezing in. Hopper sat in his armchair, the one you were positive used to sit in the cabin, with El on the arm of it. Joyce, Nancy and Jonathon on one couch, the kids young adults all on the floor and you, Robin and Steve on the other couch. Robin took the middle, thank god, you’d shoved yourself into the corner before she could force you into sitting next to him.

She wanted the two of you back together more than anyone, every time she called she’d bring him up; it was a ploy to force you into thinking about him. She didn’t understand why you left, why you ended things with him. She never blamed you, of course she didn’t, but you knew that sometimes she wanted to just scream down the phone at you for answers as to why you broke her best friend’s heart.

“It’s so weird to have you back here, good weird obviously, but weird,” Robin babbled, arm around your shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too,” you laughed softly, looking around the living room.

There was a wall of pictures that you hadn’t noticed last night, ones of the family and also the rest of you. You featured in a few, and it made you smile. Even with you not living here, not seeing them in two years, they’d put you up there. One of the photos caught your eye, it was from before the Snowball dance, you, El and Steve from when he’d dropped you to the cabin to do her makeup. She had her dress on, and Hopper had wanted to snap a picture. Steve was stood behind you, looking down at you with a loving smile as you kissed El’s cheek. That same picture was on your wall in your apartment, the only thing that makes it feel like home.

You look back towards Robin, eyes meeting Steve’s. He just stares, it’s like now than no one’s watching the two of you his facade of being perfectly fine is gone. He’s staring at you like he wishes you were someone else, or wishes you weren’t there at all. You don’t blame him, you feel the same way.

“How’s Chicago?” Steve asked, but from the tone you could tell he didn’t really want to know — or he wanted you to tell him how terrible it is.

It was terrible, you hated it. You had a shitty job as a waitress in a diner by your apartment, your neighbour was a creepy old man who kept inviting you in for a chat and you had no friends. You felt completely alone, but the horrors that Hawkins held were just too much for you to deal with.

“It’s okay,” you replied quietly, nibbling on your red-painted nails.

“Great,” he replied sarcastically. You carried on smiling, it was strained and awkward but you didn’t want to make things even more uncomfortable by starting to cry.

The next few hours were a blur, catching up with your friends (mainly the ones four years younger than you) and helping Joyce make dinner just to get away from the conversation you knew you needed to have. He deserved closure, an explanation, but you weren’t ready to give it. You weren’t ready to open up.

“How are you doing?” The question caught you off guard, eyes going wide as you turned to look at Hopper. You were pouring yourself your third glass of wine, finally able to legally drink in front of the sheriff. “With the holidays, I mean. I know you’ve never really enjoyed them.”

“I’m okay,” you replied, sipping from your glass.

He didn’t believe you, the way his eyebrow raised told you that. “You know, you’ve always got a place here. I don’t know how Chicago is, you never really talk about it, but if you ever want to come home then you have a place to stay.”

“Thanks, Hop,” you murmured, tears welling up in your eyes as you gave him a soft smile. “I just— I think me coming back would be too weird.”

“You can’t not come back because you’re afraid it would be weird, if you want to be here then you have every right. This is your home, kid. Doesn’t matter what you left behind,” he argued firmly.

You spent the rest of the night going over his words. Was he right? He’d left once too, but that wasn’t by his own accord, everyone was thrilled to have him back. It wasn’t the same. You knew if you truly decided to move back to Hawkins you’d have to have that difficult conversation, and you’d have to deal with seeing Steve more than once every couple years. You didn’t even know anything about him anymore — was pizza still his favourite food, did he still hate horror movies, did he have a girlfriend? You hadn’t even thought about him moving on, but there was a possibility, you didn’t think he’d wait around for you forever.

It got to midnight and everyone was still there, you didn’t realise you were having some sort of group sleepover. Joyce and Hopper headed to bed, telling you all to behave, next was El and Max who headed to Will’s room. Lucas, Dustin and Mike were sharing the pull-out couches and Jonathon and Nancy were in his room. That left just you, Steve and Robin. What you should have expected was for Robin to fall asleep on the last couch, the place where Steve was supposed to sleep.

“Well, great,” Steve muttered, looking around. He tried to shake Robin, but she had one too many margaritas; she was out cold. “Guess I’m sleeping in the bathtub.”

“Don’t be stupid,” you sighed. You didn’t want to share your bed with Steve, but you didn’t feel like you had much of a choice. You couldn’t leave him to sleep on the floor, or the bath, in the middle of December. “Just come on.”

“What?” He looked over at you in confusion, before realisation hit him. “Uh…”

“Don’t be a child, Steve. You haven’t got any other options,” you argued, walking away from him to head up the stairs.

He followed you, walking into the bedroom behind you. You both looked at each other awkwardly, moving around to get changed and ready for bed. When you crawled into bed you felt your heart race pick up, the bed dipping beside you as he laid next to you silently.

Minutes ticked by, you thought maybe he’d fallen asleep from the soft sounds of his breathing that filled the room, but then he spoke up. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“What?” You whispered back, throat growing dry.

“When you left, you didn’t say goodbye. I had to find out that you were gone from Robin. I know we weren’t together anymore but… I thought I deserved a goodbye, at least,” he muttered.

“You did,” you murmured after a moment of silence. You felt him shift, turning to look at you. “But I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of seeing you, I thought if I told you what I was planning you’d manage to talk me out of it,” you explained quietly, squeezing your eyes closed as they filled with tears.

“Was that possible?” He asked.

You nodded your head, wiping a stray tear that rolled down your cheek. “Everything sucked, it still does, but… at the time… it was just—” you trailed off, a sob catching in your throat.

“We don’t gotta do this right now,” he reassured, concern filling his voice. He turned his body fully towards you, moving closer.

“Yeah, we do,” you argued. You were a little tipsy, you were in the dark and there was no way of escaping him. This was the perfect time. “After everything with my parents, I was terrified of losing people. It was like, my biggest fear. Then everything happened with Vecna, and for four years I had to lose countless people. I had to worry constantly that I was going to lose you.”

“You never—”

“Just let me finish,” you pleaded, voice full of pain. “After the final battle, after I nearly lost you and everyone, I was still terrified that it wasn’t over. I was having constant nightmares, seeing things, it was literally torture. I had to get away, and apart of that was leaving you.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about this?” He asked softly, hand reaching towards you but hesitating at the last second.

“Because, Steve. You were doing so well, you were so happy. I didn’t want to drag you down with me,” you sobbed

“You wouldn’t have been,” he argued calmly, finally taking your hand in his to squeeze tightly. “You were the love of my life, you understand that? I could’ve helped. I— I still could.”

You looked up at him, lip wobbling. “You still could?”

“I love you. Always have always will. You don’t like it in Chicago, I know you don’t. Robin tells me how miserable you sound, and from seeing you today I agree with her. You’re not happy, but you could be,” he explained, leaning forward so your faces were only a couple inches apart.

“Even after everything I did?” You asked shakily.

He smiled softly at you in the darkness, moving further forward until his lips were brushing against yours. When you didn’t push him away, he leant in fully and his lips connected to yours. Your tears continued to run down your cheeks, but now they didn’t feel quite so sad.

“That answer your question?” He murmured against your lips, making you giggle quietly. You nodded your head and he grinned back. He looked over you at the clock that rested on the bedside table, his grin growing at the time. “Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

“Merry Christmas, Stevie,” you smiled, kissing him once again.

Chicago wasn’t for you. Hawkins would always be where you’d end up — because of the people that had been waiting there for you.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #i hate this actually #my attention span is nonexistent

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