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Me: I appreciate that you keep bringing me tupperware leftovers but you really really shouldn't, you're going to lose a lot of containers
My brother, handing me the 10 thousandth container of leftovers: Oh yeah I forgot to ask when are you bringing those back
Me: You don't want them back.
My brother: What did you do
Me: Better question: what did I NOT do
Him: ...
Me:
Him: Oh my god
Me: Yeah
Him: You haven't been WASHING THEM?
Me: Bruh I'll be honest I haven't even been eating most of them
Him: Oh my god
Him: I have been bringing you lunch since-
Me: Halloween
Him: OH MY GOD
Me: Yeah
Him: It's been- we JUST bought those containers
Me: I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO STOP
Him: WHAT THE HELL
Me: I HAVE TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES TO STOP
Him: IF I DONT FEED YOU, YOU DONT EAT
Me: I AM AN ADULT I PACK FOOD
Him: WHAT FOOD
Me: I DONT KNOW, FUCKING. SPAGHETTI
Him: IN WHAT? IN WHAT? YOU DONT WASH YOUR FUCKING TUPPERWARE
Me: I DON'T *BUY* TUPPERWARE CAUSE I KNOW I WONT WASH IT
Him: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARRY THE SPAGHETTI IN
Me: Bags
Him: What
Me: Ziplock fucking bags
Him: YOU'RE EATING SPAGETTI OUT OF BAGS
Me: IT'S LESS WASTEFUL
Him: HOW is it less wasteful? HOW?? You're throwing out a plastic bag every single day!
Me: It's better than throwing out tupperware!
Him: TUPPERWARE IS REUSABLE
Me: NOT IF YOU DONT WASH IT
Him: WHY THE FUCK NOT
Me: I DONT DO DISHES
Him: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU DONT DO DISHES.
Me: I hate doing dishes. You KNOW I hate doing dishes. I have ALWAYS HATED DOING DISHES you KNOW this
Him: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN EATING OFF OF
Me: PLASTIC BAGS
Him:
Him: You're a fucking trash monster
Me: You wore the same pair of Shrek pants every day for two years
Him: When will you let that go
Me: I will never let it go
Me:
Me: ...thank you for the lasagna
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“It’s ya boy Guzma” is probably the smoothest translation of ore-sama I’ve ever seen (makes eyes at Hetalia and TTGL) but it’s also unfortunately hilarious wwwww
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sorry i really don’t like just reposting someone else’s joke but i haven’t been able to stop thinking about Yucky Stinking Tooth for weeks
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Based in physical if he wants a strong setup early game, easier for beginners
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Teaboot, you cant be eating your spaghetti out of ziplock bags
give me one legitimate reason why, if I know that I will not be able to wash a tupperware container before it is irredeemably ruined, and posess within myself an incapacitating aversion to my kitchen sink, and knowing that I do not give a cubic ounce of a shit what strangers think of me, I should not transport cold spaghetti in a ziplock bag for mine own consumption
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If that doesn't have potential for some fairytale nonsense, I don't know what does.
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I AM LAUGHING SO HARD AT MACHOPS MAILBOX IN POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON
bruh do you even lift
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ICC has issued arrest warrants for Netanyahu and Gallant. nothing will come of it I'm sure except maybe US troops marching into the Hague
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There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"
The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.
We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...
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Transphobia is so antithetical to genuine feminism it blows my mind there's such a wide overlap like you either believe in autonomy and self determination or you don't
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