#IM NOT LIKE MAD I HAVE TO MAKE IT BUT LIKE DO U UNDERSTAND BEING LIKE HM I WONDER IF WE HAVE A LETTERHEAD TEMPLATE. FUCK WAIT THATS MY JOB
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hiii, i was wondering if you’d do requests? if u can id like to request a baji x reader, it could be abt anything, maybe fluff with some light angst here and there? tyyy 🤍🤍
YES I DO IM SOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT PERFECT FOR MY FIRST REQUEST
“Keisuke!”
You cried as you walked to his bedside inside the hospital after the gruesome incident of the Bloody Halloween.
“Are you okay?! You know that I don’t like it when you get in those stupid gang fights, and you promised me that nothing would happen and now look you! You’re in the hospital!”
Keisuke sighed gruffly, rubbing his temple as he replied.
“I don’t need you scolding me, I’m not a damn kid.”
Your brows furrowed together, not liking how careless Keisuke sounded about the whole situation after almost losing his own life.
“I’m not saying you are a little kid! I’m just worried about the fact that you almost died! Aren’t you even worried in the slightest?!
You yelled, feeling a lump in your throat out of relief that he was still alive, but also fear after seeing him in the hospital like this.
Keisuke gritted his teeth a bit, retorting with a scowl on his face.
“I don’t need you worrying about me when I can worry about myself.”
You weren’t having it at all. How could he just be so careless about what happened to him?
“You’re incredibly stupid, you know that, Keisuke?!
Keisuke’s face scrunched in slight irritation.
“Oi, don’t call me stupid!”
Keisuke turned away from you, clearly frustrated with how pushy you were being.
“Why do you even care so much, you know that I can handle myself, I don’t need your worry.”
You felt a pang of guilt seeping in your chest, knowing that your words were a bit harsh, even though it was a valid reason to be so worried about.
“I know you can handle yourself but you almost died, Keisuke! Don’t you understand how worried sick I was when I heard what had happened..?!”
“You’re acting as if I’m some sort of fragile flower-“
Keisuke hissed as his fists clenched together, his irritation growing with every word you said.
“I know you’re not a fragile flower or something, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you!”
Your words gradually grew softer, your voice wavering slightly as you swallowed thickly.
“You-.. you nearly died, and I was so scared for you.. I don’t care if you can handle yourself, you’re my boyfriend, and I love you.. And when you love someone, of course you’re going to worry about them.. It’s that simple, Keisuke..”
Keisuke remained silent, his irritation still evident yet slowly depleting. You knew that you had struck a nerve, but you also knew that he needed to understand the true severity of the situation.
“Keisuke..”
You began, your voice gentle yet firm.
“Please look at me..”
He reluctantly turned to face you, his eyes slowly fixating on yours. His gaze softened subconsciously once he saw the genuine worry and concern etched on your delicate face. Keisuke felt his heart clench faintly in guilt after he saw your eyes begin to become glossy. ‘Cause how could he ever be truly mad at you..?
“I know you can handle yourself..”
You continued.
“You’re stronger than anyone I know, but that doesn’t mean you’re invincible, y’know.”
As you continued speaking, Keisuke's irritation gradually subsided, slowly being replaced by an expression of reluctant understanding. He knew that you were speaking from a place of concern and love and that your words, although harsh, were tinged with truth.
“I know, I know..”
He muttered, his voice softening as he looked down at his lap for a bit, gazing at his bruised and calloused knuckles, and the gauze bandages that were wrapped around his abdomen.
“I just don't like being seen as weak..”
“You’re not weak..”
You assured, taking a step closer to him as you gingerly took his hands into yours, your thumb softly grazing against his palms.
“You're strong.. Stronger than any other person I know, but you don't have to act like a tough guy all the time..”
Keisuke glanced back up at you for a moment, silently acknowledging your words. When your worried eyes met his, his expression began soften further, the tension between his brows relaxing.
“I know, I know..”
He repeated, his voice quiet.
“I just hate being seen as weak.. I feel like I need to prove myself all the time.”
You gently scoot a bit closer to him on his hospital bed, closing the distance between you. You slowly reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of his hair away from his face. You couldn’t handle the thought of ever losing him.
“You don't have to prove anything to me, Keisuke..”
You replied firmly.
Keisuke lightly bit the insides of his cheeks as he silently stared at you for a moment, suddenly pulling you into his arms, not saying a word. You felt your breath hitch slightly from the suddenness, yet your body subconsciously relaxed as your arms gently wrapped around him, careful to not accidentally hurt his battered body. Keisuke let out a sigh as he inhaled your scent again, his arms subconsciously squeezing you against him.
“I love you.”
Keisuke murmured quietly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability and softness, it was unlike him, but you couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at your lips.
“..I love you too.”
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT
#baji keisuke#tokyo revengers#fanfic#keisuke baji#angst#angst with a happy ending#light angst#fluff#baji x reader#baji x y/n#baji x you#tokyo rev x y/n#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x you#*＊✿❀keiry❀✿＊*
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.
its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.
have passion in spite of those who hate.
#its absolutely mind boggling to me#and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset#i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b#its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without#hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats#something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like#‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent#opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like#this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i#was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without#prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u#happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk#ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole#:)))) im not crying bye#ashley rambles#to delete later#my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids#have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them#idk man
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this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me
#i do not have this kind of insecurity with anyone in bitches. it is baffling that im letting it get such power on me elsewhere#i know its because of the difference in familiarity & like. knowing bitches much longer. & the fact we are from the same community#it is definitely a trust issue in this case but there isnt really a fix for it. except trying to get closer to everyone i guess?#but that would feel forced. i mean i love making friends & i love having close friends & i do not like feeling like this#but im also not gonna force friendships just so i can stop being insecure. its ridiculous conceptually#not that i have beef with anybody of course. just not sure anybody would care to get closer to me atm#considering what people have seen of me i would very much understand the opposite. not in a self conscious way#though that would be quite the opposite of how i personallt would react probably... my complexes#apologies for ruminating on my thought process in front of tha whole world to see but admittedly u did not have to read it.#i suppose ive gotten worries waap was mad at me in recent ish times but the thing w waap is that if theres an issue ill know#& like. waap & i are like two peas in a pod like they say... its presence makes me overall more comfortable & safe#damn. does it realise how important it is to me. emotional break im tearing up thinking about it fuckkk i love my friends#bahhhh okay anyway... i love my bitches. my god. ppl complain about that server's channel system#but its my beautiful maze where my beautiful friends are... & i can trust them so so much i have a channel for being a hater...#fukkkkckkck did i woke up sappy as fuck what is going ONNNN ahhhh i love mynfriedns collapses to my kenes#IS IT SO BAD TO WANT MORE FRIENDS TO LOVE JUST AS MUCH!!!! & TO TRUST AS MUCH!!
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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ok actual last post but my main problem w the xcore approach to art is that its not even enjoying art on a "surface level" bc it doesnt focus on or even acknowledge the emotion or idea or statement it's meant to convey but rather on a certain aesthetic theyre trying cultivate
#lord if i was mitski and saw what they were doing to my songs on tiktok.#im not mad please dont write in the papers that i got mad etx#like u dont have to know the background of the artist/piece of everything you enjoy but knowing even a little bit rly does help u better#understand connect and enjoy art. in my experience#mine*#might make a post abt maurycy gottlieb later bc i saw his art irl a couple of weeks ago and still havent recovered#me in the museum grabbing my dads hand eyes red hyperventilating autistically explaining him the history being the painting
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im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak
#mine#i feel less ashamed for being hornee abt shin tsukimi do u understand. how humiliating that is.#literally dont even perceive me this is my greatest sin ok AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE#THEY LITERALLY DO ALL THE MOST HEINOUS SHIT IN THE ENTIRE SERIES NEXT TO KIMBLEE#AND THEY /BOTH/ GET OFF ON IT TOO WHICH MAKES IT WORSE#BUT THEYRE JUST SO PAINFULLY GENDER IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST#i want their voice. i want it so bad it's so painful i hate them so much. but i also adore them. and hate myself for that#she was targeting ME SPECIFICALLY when she made them frfrfrfr#fma#i hesitate to even put this in a tag but i feel like other trans ppl will get it. right. u get it right or am i just a lonesome fool#also. js. i hate kimblee. i fucking DESPISE kimblee actually. worst piece of shit ever in the whole series.#i actually got mad bc i forgot just how long he lasts in the series. FAR TOO LONG IF U ASK ME.#& also. i. feel like. i should get points too bc envy is rly the only absolute irredeemable piece of shit i actually enjoy#bc usually. i am a sheep. & i HATE them. but. i am also a sheep. to gender envy. sooooo. unsurprising exception.#but like otherwise unless u wanna count like my man dracula from castlevania which i feel like is not comparable bc he was VALID#envy is the only villain i actually truly like. any other 'villain' i like is more... morally grey. or. understandable. u know. u get it.#anyway. dont ever perceive me for this im ashamed#& also no the irony of having the mention of jealousy/envy as a my most strict boundary & yet having the literal embodiment of envy#as one of my fav characters in my favorite anime of all time is not lost on me. i am a walking contradiction we all know this#at least they're not THE favorite. u can take a very predictable guess on who that title goes to
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how do i start setting firm boundaries with this kid in my club who keeps making unfunny jokes and taking over the whole meeting and pissing me the fuck off without like dragging down the vibes of the entire thing. because i did not manage it tonight, i got genuinely hostile and killed the vibes👍
#he is in the wrong here like fucking. if theres four people in ur club meeting for the week#and you say ‘hey put on this clip of this brutal saw trap’#and one of the other people (1/4 of the group!) says ‘i do not want to see that’#i think u r an asshole for insisting on watching it! and making me have to awkwardly sit in the hall cause just hearing the audio made me#feel nauseous!#lime.txt#sigh. he also just like. he doesnt mesh with the group he’s a first year but he acts like a middle schooler#i get being a fucking 18 year old guy and joining a niche media club and like not understanding feminism#but when other people make pretty clear that they are uncomfortable with something you are doing. quit fucking doing it#and i swear to god he keeps making us watch nu metal music videos#like today he did it TWICE every fucking time we start talking about something else#like me and this other guy started talking about gundam and he was explaining in depth why he was disappointed w the turn the 2nd season#of iron blooded orphans took and i was like omg interesting and he was like was gwitch good and then i was like yeah its an homage to rgu#and literally mid conversation this other kid puts a fucking linkin park music video on the tv and makes us all watch it. like fuck offfffff#sorry im genuinely too mad to do my work rn i need to destress im gonna have some cereal
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the horror i went through in this moment bc i need a letter of recommendation for this scholarship . i ask my supervisor to write me one and i remember it needs to be in like business letterhead. and im like oh i wonder if the graphic design team has made that. IM THE GRAPHIC DESIGN TEAM
#THIS IS SO FUCKIGN STUPID I HAVE TO DESIGN THE LETTERHEAD FOR MY OWN REFERENCE LETTER THIS IS SO SO SO STUPID#IM NOT LIKE MAD I HAVE TO MAKE IT BUT LIKE DO U UNDERSTAND BEING LIKE HM I WONDER IF WE HAVE A LETTERHEAD TEMPLATE. FUCK WAIT THATS MY JOB#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#we lost a member of the graphic design team btw we are down to two people again its grim out here#the gamer speaks uwu
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...
#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
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Diversity win! Guy i dont like no longer kins kakyoin
#outing myself as a moron making this post anyway i have been waiting a year for this guy to realize this why because im spiteful#how do u kin kakyoin and ignore that hes like a little mean spirited for the funnies. a little hatred pilled. are you insane#this is a case of me getting mad about him being mischaracterized but im sorry it will forever make me angry#kakyoin is like the worlds worst autistic bc hes not socially unaware. he is TOO socially aware in the WRONG direction#thinks he knows SO much about socializing to the point he GIVES UP because its pointless#and HATES anyone who blindsides him socially and plays stupid games with him bc he sees it as cowardly#like that is the thing ? kakyoin is a speak now or hold your peace while i kill you kind of guy lol .#hes not uwu shy damaged and hurt guy who wishes he knew how to make friends#bro is crazy and didnt realize he was suffering from self imposed isolation#bro overly percieved his own weirdness and couldnt see himself intrinsically tied to another person (cough cough aroace)#and was like wow nobody understands me and im aware of this i am so Different tm i need to never attach to anyone bc theres no point#he has to have that attachment almost forced onto him (tho to save his life i.e. jotaro deworming him) for it to register as a possibility#he never creates an avenue for others to truly get close to or understand him bc he doesnt think they can#but then whenever he learns its possible then its just a game of him slowly allowing his walls to fall back and his mask to peel#and then his mask for himself also begins to peel and he realizes how hurt hes always been bc he doesnt even Realize#bc loneliness is All hes known#i lost the plot but also i think i accidentally just got myself out of writers block i know the missing piece i needed to come up-#with my fic ending. ohhhh boy#ohhhh yeah baby#l8r#youve given me unnecessary feelings
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my gift is being annoying, see, i can hate myself and be so horrendously anxious that i think trying to make being alive easier for myself is somehow offensive to others bc thats how so many people online act like literally any accomodations not made by the doctors that dont care abt you at all are somehow unnecessary and ‘fishing for attention’ to the point i ruin myself and destroy my body avoiding accomodations bc i dont want to ‘seem like a bad person’ for quite literally needing help. but give me a tv show and 30 seconds with new information and i will either give you the most thought provoking theory or the most wildcard theory ever and always be correct.
#even when im not#see i might have zero confidence in most things but when it comes to wild takes for shows and shit? i am more right than the writers#i am simply better than them they wish they had my brain#do i deal with more anxiety than anyone ever wished would even exist yes i actively corce myself into 6 anxiety attacks every hour by#leaving my house and force myself to anyways its not good its not healthy dont do that do as i say not as i do#but is my brain incredible at being wild? yes show writers wish they were me#imagine being as out there as me#i lay the easter eggs before i know theyre easter eggs and watch as ppl froth to find them and cry when they realize they were right there#bc i didnt know they were there either i connected them after the fact#flawlessly crossover shit that shouldn’t work? try me u cant do what i can#im dazzling fake it til u make it or whatever#im also accidentally hilarious and that should be feared my power is incredible#’brina wtf—‘ so funny thing the thing that spurred this one#was seeing multiple ppl of a fandom on DIFFERENT websites incorrectly use the word wh/itewash#bc apparently they dont understand that whitewa/shing is not ‘they made this character dumb when they arent!!!’ like#thats not what that means buddy that you cant use that on a white character forbeing a dumbass their whiteness wasnt affected#is there any correlation to my beign annoyed at that and my temporary confidence? i have no fucjibg idea man im mentally ill what do ya want#i need anxiety meds that dont cause depresso and depresso meds thatdonf causs anxiety#otherwise my sudden jumps of this and wanting implosions just keep flickering#anyways i dont usually do this bc i dont wanna be an asshole but skmetimes you see shir and its like#damn ive never been the smartest bitch in the room before but boy howdy is that a feeling im feeling#raiiot#i still cant believe it#’they whi/tewashed (white character that is white in every material)’s storyline she did this dumb thing based on feelings insteads of#slowly entering madness!!!!’ do we need a masterclass on how a WHITE character cannot be wh/itewashed#and also that their MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH are NOT aspects of that when. again. THEYRE WHITE#THATS NOT WHAT THAT M E A N S#whatever gen that is i i dont think its the zoomies idk if its mellis or the xers hut like whoever u are#for fucks sake man. for fucks sake#your misuse of that word is almost as bad as your takes
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your neck is the size of her thighs bc she is skinny and you are fat
yes anon, good job. that was not at all completely obvious because i stated it point blank and so this was so helpful. my neck, my stomache, and my thighs are fat as fuck and my wifes skinny thighs look amazing wrapped around my fat ass neck when shes riding my face
great work understanding english! im sure u'll be fluent in no time. next lets see if u can correctly repeat back what my hair color is
#jack.speaks#anon#it really is 2012 in here for some of u huh?#like do yall not understand that calling me fat is only an insult if being fat is something i am ashamed of being??#or something that makes me feel bad about myself and not just a completely neutral description of my appearance#like bruh im 32 years old i know im fat and pointing that out is the same as telling me my eyes are brown#if ur looking to hurt my feelings ur going to have to try muchmuch harder than simply stating very obvious facts about me that im not hidin#i guess this is the side effect of consrvative brainrot being rampant on this site we've literally just devolved into the most boring hate#yall are just not smart enough to come up with anything better than ur average 8 year old apparantly. sadge#sometimes i wonder if ppl are just mad i pulled a thin bitch? like the amount of weird hate ive gotten in my life specifically pointing out#that my wife is thin and im fat as if im supposed to be ashamed of that or its supposed to make me feel bad???#like why would that make me upset? it just doesnt make sense#i really think its because it truly makes ftphobs foam at the mouth in deranged rage when they see fat ppl get more ass than them#cranky because u cant use ur thinness to feel superior to me because i pull more pussy then u huh buddy?
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‧₊˚🖇️ ₊˚🎧⊹♡
A/n: okay so im hyper sexual due to trauma and it’s getting pretty bad again, so i was thinking about how Ellie would react to hypersexual!reader! here’s for all my traumatized babes! 💋
parings: Ellie x hypersexual!reader!
WARINGS‼️‼️: this dabble contains reader who has gone through sexual harassment/assault, or any form of sexual trauma! there are no mentions of the act but talks about it happening in the past! resulting in hypersexuality!! if you are uncomfortable with this in any way please do not read ! :)
~~~
༘ ⋆｡ ˚ it’s obviously kind of a hard thing to tell someone, especially a partner. so I think when telling her she would be super understanding. I think she would have a lot of questions and would take boundaries so seriously.
༘ ⋆｡ ˚ I also think that she would be like mad/concerned.? not at you or anything. but I kinda feel like Ellie having to sorta go through all that shit she would be mad at herself for not being there 4 you. :( even if you guys didn’t know each other at the time I feel like Ellie is js that typa gal.
‘༘ ⋆｡ ˚ ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through that baby!! are you okay now?’
~~~
༘ ⋆｡ ˚ ‘I wish I coulda stoped it sweetheart, im sorry.’
then her mood would switch if she saw u we’re okay with talking about it.
༘ ⋆｡ ˚ ‘I’m going to beat their ass !! name, address? social security number maybe…?’
༘ ⋆｡ ˚on days you wanted nothing to do with anything sexual she would never push any of that shit on you. she’s js a little cuddle bug !! I feel like if she was in the mood on one of these days she would ask and if you said no it was no biggy!
༘ ⋆｡ ˚speaking of, she needs verbal consent before anything. a nodd or body language has nothing to do with it atp. she needs you to tell her that everything she is doing is okay.
‘hey love is this okay?’
~~~
‘how you feelin, wanna continue babe?’
~~~
‘pretty girl, can I touch you?’
༘ ⋆｡ ˚now on days your the horniest mother fucker around she totally feeds into it. I mean who wouldn’t? when you go through hypersexual episodes she will do anything to make sure ur satisfied and okay !
༘ ⋆｡ ˚now during these episodes if she found that you may feel icky about urself and thoughts she will make sure to love you extra in every way! and if you feel icky after sex she will take the aftercare till the max and won’t leave it side for the next 5 hours!! (AWAHHH)
༘ ⋆｡ ˚Ellie wants you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. all she wants to do is make you comfortable. she loves you !!
A/n: my fluff fics never do well but I needed to share this because hyper-sexuality isn’t represented enough and the effects of sa and what it can do isn’t talked about enough. so I thought I’d make a cute little Ellie fluff comfort fic about it to help anyone who is going through a hypersexual episode right now!! I love you all and you are seen.
#tlou2#tlou#tlou fanfiction#ellie tlou#girl in red#ellie x fem reader#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#hypersexual
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