#gonna sleep eventually
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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omg ok so i am listening 2 jrwi now idk how long ill go til i lose focus again and cant get it back BUT i just realised grizzlys wearing a hk shirt JUST as the greenpath track started playing in the bg :3 this is so cool
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lgbtlunaverse · 1 year ago
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the wangxian + a-yuan "dads with an adopted son" thing is fine and enjoyable in fanfics honestly but I think we as a fandom are really not utilizing the idea of all of them in unconventional familial structures enough. Like, canonically it wasn't so much that wwx was a-yuan's guardian as that a-yuan was being raised collectively by the wens and wwx was adopted INTO the larger wen family. And lwj got attached to him through that. A-yuan just has these very attached weird uncles/older cousin figures that aren't related to him by blood at all but keep sticking around.
Just think of a modern AU with a lot less death where lwj does as he does in canon and keeps showering a-yuan in gifts as much as he can and when wwx is like "aiyah lan zhan you're gonna spoil him. Not everyone is as rich as you! What's his family supposed to say if they can't buy him all the stuff you do?" lwj just goes "Hm". And from then on out every year once a-yuan's birthday is near the extended Wen family members (well. the ones that are invited that is. No one wants wen chao at a birthday party) wakes up to a wechat payment from lwj.
Random wen cousin number 6 texts granny like
cousin 6: i just got 400 yuan????
granny: oh that's just wangji
cousin 6: i've never met this guy in my life???
granny: he wants you to buy a-yuan a nice birthday present!
cousin 6: how does he know my bank account???
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helielune · 29 days ago
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and stalling only goes so far when you've got a head start
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distant-velleity · 3 months ago
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“Now… Shall we share a dance?”
[SR] Sinner's Garb Yuhua is here!!! For @beneathsakurashade's fan event~
I. I lowkey think I MASSIVELY misinterpreted the event's rules but--- But------ If I was wrong just pretend it's an alternate universe where he got this role 🔥🔥🔥🔥 (School has fried my brain I am so sorry) I also just came up with the name for the card on my own so I'm also sorry about that OTL I'm really taking too many creative liberties
Anyway um you can tell I've fixated on Evillious Chronicles before so. Yeah!!! UI-less card and voicelines are continued under the cut as per usual <3
~
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Summon: A tale of seven sinners and their punishments… Sounds interesting. 
Groovification: — LOCKED — 
Set to Home Screen: The stage is set, and the actors are in place~
Home Transition 1: “I haven’t yet told you that I love you…” ♪ Isn’t that tragic? All these sinners met pretty ironic endings.
Home Transition 2: I heard that there’s going to be a party after the musical. I might not go, though; parties aren’t always my… thing. …but they did promise refreshments…
Home Transition 3: The best actors are the ones who understand their characters. Like, hating your past self so much that you’d erase any trace of it… I get that feeling a little.
Home, after login: “Seven flowers dance and sin is now released / I cover the ugliness of my true self as I continue to drown in lust…” ♪
Home Transition (Groovification): — LOCKED —
Tap Home 1: Isn’t this role better for taller people? I lose any enchanting aura I could have had when you realize I’m short… Well, at least these boots have heels. 
Tap Home 2: Any performer worth their salt should be able to prevent personal feelings from interfering too much with their performance… in theory. *sigh*…
Tap Home 3: According to the duke’s story, the vessel of lust is a sword. I actually dabbled in swordplay for a year, so I’m not totally out of my element. 
Tap Home 4: If I had to assign myself a deadly sin, I don’t think it would be lust. But I guess that’s what makes this musical so fun—exploring the narratives of people who did give in and sell their souls. 
Tap Home 5: Aren’t you afraid of what might happen if you look into “my” eyes for too long? Haha~  
Tap Home (Groovification): — LOCKED —
~
taglist (ask to be added or removed): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia
@skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @scint1llat3 @nyx-of-night @nemisisnemi
@the-banana-0verlord @kathxrat-01 @lumdays @twistedwonderlandshenanigans
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screwpinecaprice · 1 year ago
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Sunday: Resting
No thoughts, just sleep.
Personal connverse week for an anonymous Ko-fi tipper! Prompts, details, and polaroid border effect also by anon.
And that's the last day of this series! Thank you for the Ko-fi anon! 😊
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camels-pen · 11 months ago
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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kheprriverse · 1 month ago
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
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mushroominaforest · 3 months ago
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My current (and definitely maintainable lol) sleep schedule is:
about 3 hours of sleep every school night (give or take)
then sleep for 16 hours on Friday night (cause it’s my first chance to sleep in)
and then pull an all-nighter the next night
and then back to 3.
yeah this is probably healthy lmfao
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gammaraydeath · 3 months ago
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"haha insanity is such a cakewalk 2 ez" <- said the idiot who hadn't yet tried for gold in armax
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saturnvs · 5 months ago
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moving day has gone well!!! very stressful at times but overall great considering the circumstances! the moving company was super nice and did an awesome job :D
i thought my cat would be more nervous, but she’s an old lady who is already asleep on my bed even though she’s lived here for less than 12 hours, so it’s safe to say she feels comfortable here already <3
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justablah56 · 26 days ago
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isekai au professionals my beloved <333
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@kathbunny since you said to tag you if I drew them <3 I'm gonna color them tmrw probably , but in the meantime , them !
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frnkiebby · 7 months ago
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have a frank blast bc i’ve been so irregular and i’m so sorry about that.
this weekend and the days prior to it really took it outta me and i wasn’t really really expecting that.
anyway ily all and pls have some franks~🎃
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catinflight · 4 months ago
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Drew silly friends as their silly pokemon they got taking those pokemon personality quizzes‼️‼️‼️🗣🗣🗣🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
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Terri - @terriblyterri (SOOOO SLIPPERY SUZAN😨😨😱😱😱)
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Jellian HUMAN SONA⁉️ - @jelliannn (SoOOOOO STINKY🤯🤯🤯)
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The Ratking‼️‼️‼️ -ITSRAT!!!! (Little scrunched on discord,,,,, can't @ them because they don't have tumblr unfortunately😔😔😔😔 RIP...)
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strawberry-cowmilk · 1 month ago
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I almost missed a mandatory class today because a kitten kept following me and I was scared it was gonna follow me into the train
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medi-bee · 2 years ago
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Thirteen Thoughts of Lights Above
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