#gonna sleep eventually
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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omg ok so i am listening 2 jrwi now idk how long ill go til i lose focus again and cant get it back BUT i just realised grizzlys wearing a hk shirt JUST as the greenpath track started playing in the bg :3 this is so cool
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the wangxian + a-yuan "dads with an adopted son" thing is fine and enjoyable in fanfics honestly but I think we as a fandom are really not utilizing the idea of all of them in unconventional familial structures enough. Like, canonically it wasn't so much that wwx was a-yuan's guardian as that a-yuan was being raised collectively by the wens and wwx was adopted INTO the larger wen family. And lwj got attached to him through that. A-yuan just has these very attached weird uncles/older cousin figures that aren't related to him by blood at all but keep sticking around.
Just think of a modern AU with a lot less death where lwj does as he does in canon and keeps showering a-yuan in gifts as much as he can and when wwx is like "aiyah lan zhan you're gonna spoil him. Not everyone is as rich as you! What's his family supposed to say if they can't buy him all the stuff you do?" lwj just goes "Hm". And from then on out every year once a-yuan's birthday is near the extended Wen family members (well. the ones that are invited that is. No one wants wen chao at a birthday party) wakes up to a wechat payment from lwj.
Random wen cousin number 6 texts granny like
cousin 6: i just got 400 yuan????
granny: oh that's just wangji
cousin 6: i've never met this guy in my life???
granny: he wants you to buy a-yuan a nice birthday present!
cousin 6: how does he know my bank account???
#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#wen yuan#lan sizhui#granny wen#wangxian#i just don't think we're thinking enough about wangxian as nonconventional family to a-yuan enough#lwj leaving early on chinese new year's eve to go to a party over at the wens??? hilarious#wen siblings move in with granny to care for her and help with a-yuan. wwx crashes at their place for months#eventually lwj is there more days than not. the white wash cycle is like 70% his clothes#granny sleeps in the room next to wwx's and once wangxian happens#she sometimes very pointedly goes well!! i'm gonna go to the park!! for about an hour! which means I WON'T BE HERE. *wink*#as always when talking about underrated dynamics i am not hating on anyone for writing what they want. merely exploring concepts i enjoy
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and stalling only goes so far when you've got a head start
#nobody talk to me i am so fucking IN AGONY#HEAD IN HANDS. AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY???????#jinx#jinx arcane#powder#powder arcane#arcane#arcane spoilers#im afraid i have to admit guys i just stopped watching after this episode. it was so fucking (bitter) sweet and by far the happiest#i've ever been post-arcane-episode#god!!!!!!! i don't want to ruin the high!!!! and i don't want to see everyone start fucking suffering for their lives again !!!!!#in my defense i finished at like 8 am after not sleeping all night so. i was also tired. but now after waking up#i just don't want to continue Even More o777#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#idk how fast people usually watch episodes so i'm mass tagging even more than usual#god fucking. aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#time taken on this like 3-4 hrs#in my current state of mind (completely off my rocker abt this show) i can probably fuel like Months worth of fanart#from just this one episode. sooooo what if i just never watched the rest fhhggggskfjnfnfnfndjsjd#nah i know i'm gonna end up watching it. eventually. soon probably but idk how soon. anyways. peace out guys. live laugh love 😭😭😭😭😭#my art#the funny thing about this is that i drew it facing the opposite way and then flipped it to check and never. flipped it back.#uhhhhh. don't worry about it
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“Now… Shall we share a dance?”
[SR] Sinner's Garb Yuhua is here!!! For @beneathsakurashade's fan event~
I. I lowkey think I MASSIVELY misinterpreted the event's rules but--- But------ If I was wrong just pretend it's an alternate universe where he got this role 🔥🔥🔥🔥 (School has fried my brain I am so sorry) I also just came up with the name for the card on my own so I'm also sorry about that OTL I'm really taking too many creative liberties
Anyway um you can tell I've fixated on Evillious Chronicles before so. Yeah!!! UI-less card and voicelines are continued under the cut as per usual <3
~
Summon: A tale of seven sinners and their punishments… Sounds interesting.
Groovification: — LOCKED —
Set to Home Screen: The stage is set, and the actors are in place~
Home Transition 1: “I haven’t yet told you that I love you…” ♪ Isn’t that tragic? All these sinners met pretty ironic endings.
Home Transition 2: I heard that there’s going to be a party after the musical. I might not go, though; parties aren’t always my… thing. …but they did promise refreshments…
Home Transition 3: The best actors are the ones who understand their characters. Like, hating your past self so much that you’d erase any trace of it… I get that feeling a little.
Home, after login: “Seven flowers dance and sin is now released / I cover the ugliness of my true self as I continue to drown in lust…” ♪
Home Transition (Groovification): — LOCKED —
Tap Home 1: Isn’t this role better for taller people? I lose any enchanting aura I could have had when you realize I’m short… Well, at least these boots have heels.
Tap Home 2: Any performer worth their salt should be able to prevent personal feelings from interfering too much with their performance… in theory. *sigh*…
Tap Home 3: According to the duke’s story, the vessel of lust is a sword. I actually dabbled in swordplay for a year, so I’m not totally out of my element.
Tap Home 4: If I had to assign myself a deadly sin, I don’t think it would be lust. But I guess that’s what makes this musical so fun—exploring the narratives of people who did give in and sell their souls.
Tap Home 5: Aren’t you afraid of what might happen if you look into “my” eyes for too long? Haha~
Tap Home (Groovification): — LOCKED —
~
taglist (ask to be added or removed): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia
@skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @scint1llat3 @nyx-of-night @nemisisnemi
@the-banana-0verlord @kathxrat-01 @lumdays @twistedwonderlandshenanigans
#my art#twst oc#yuusona#SevenSins&Punishments#I DONT KNOW WHY HE LOOKS SO BAD IN THIS CARD orz#i think if i try to change it any more ill go insane#but the fit kinda ate 🔥🔥#i might actually do a groovy for this eventually but no promises. sob#btw i realized i think they fixed the tagging issue but ill still format my taglist like this#bc it's easier for me to remember it this way#okay. im gonna stop here and go to sleep#posting and then eepy
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Sunday: Resting
No thoughts, just sleep.
Personal connverse week for an anonymous Ko-fi tipper! Prompts, details, and polaroid border effect also by anon.
And that's the last day of this series! Thank you for the Ko-fi anon! 😊
#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#my shiz#Ko-fi#Ko-fi request#anon#Aaaaand that's the last day for this series. TY for the ☕ Anon. 😁#Steven normally sleeps fully face up and Connie just kind of flops on top of him. I like to think here she just eventually slid off#to the side.#Totally not because I had trouble drawing her fully plopped on Steven...#Speaking of which. I think I'm gonna hit the hay early and just continue what I'm drawing tomorrow either after coffee or after work.#Okay those bare feet actually didn't look as bad as I worry I thought they were. Feet are harder to draw than hands most of the time. 😓
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
#hyrule warriors#hw link#kheprri rambling#fucked by the ‘perfect hero’ treatment and is a little hit jaded and scruffy and i am INSANE FOR IT#he does not cope well and i love that for him#obsessed with him. been thinking about him for a couple months now for my wargod au and yall i cannot stop#volga gets the treatment too but its slightly less noticeable coz hes a dragon#also sorry about there being nothing going on. every time i want to start on something i get hit by just utter pain and cant focus#so ive just been playing games and sleeping trying to get through it lol#but that also gave me a lot of thinking time for the aus. especially the main one (and this one obv)#also sorry if u dont vibe with the headcanon/au. hes far from being a dick or entitled hes just tired of being perfect for others—#—and just wants to live in peace with his dragon bf lmao#2024+ is the era of khep(me) forcing myself to draw facial hair because ive always been afraid of not doing it right#actually i love drawinf facial hair and all hair in general tbh im just horrified of people being like ‘lol ur wrong die’ XD#anyways sorry. rambling. too many brain thoughts not enough outlets for#will be posting the mistflier species sheet wip on kofi eventually i just wanna type the words out to make it more legible#it IS still a wip and thats why its gonna be going on kofi until its finished#<- and also coz its tailnrr related
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My current (and definitely maintainable lol) sleep schedule is:
about 3 hours of sleep every school night (give or take)
then sleep for 16 hours on Friday night (cause it’s my first chance to sleep in)
and then pull an all-nighter the next night
and then back to 3.
yeah this is probably healthy lmfao
#This has been going on for three weeks now#I don’t think it’s gonna last much longer lol#Dw I’ll get a healthier sleep schedule eventually (probably)#Mushroom complaining
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"haha insanity is such a cakewalk 2 ez" <- said the idiot who hadn't yet tried for gold in armax
#PLEAS!!!!!!!! PLEASE IM GONNA THROW UP#i've been trying cerb elite units with all score modifiers on (minus the one that buffs me lol) and i might actually kill myself.#i eventually had to turn some of the score modifiers off just so i could get one measly win tonight. made my best score yet. still not gold#im so sorry why does garrus go down literally one second after match start? are you kasumi?? are you a glass cannon??? get a HOLD OF URSELF#this was not worth sacrificing hours of sleep for yet here i am
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moving day has gone well!!! very stressful at times but overall great considering the circumstances! the moving company was super nice and did an awesome job :D
i thought my cat would be more nervous, but she’s an old lady who is already asleep on my bed even though she’s lived here for less than 12 hours, so it’s safe to say she feels comfortable here already <3
#she only had a minor freak out when we first came here but that’s to be expected#she turned 12 last week so i think she’s officially counting as actually old#she mostly sleeps#this apartment is so lovely … oh it’s gorgeous#i can’t believe we managed to find an apartment in the first place in our situation#let alone such a lovely one <3#we’re gonna have a good time here eventually i think :’)#i’ve had some freak outs myself because. autism and complete destruction of routines lol😭 but i’m powering through
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isekai au professionals my beloved <333
@kathbunny since you said to tag you if I drew them <3 I'm gonna color them tmrw probably , but in the meantime , them !
#my art#they are so sillay#but now i have to really think about what maxim actually looks like now that im gonna be coloring in his feathers and fur and shit lmao#but i like them#and i know maxim would be incredibly awkward about telling vr la he could sleep in his nest with him#but vr la isnt going to ask regardless of literally anything because hes stupid <3#and even if hes dragged vr la there multiple times under different excuses eventually hes going to have to tell him he can whenever#and it will kill both of them <3
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have a frank blast bc i’ve been so irregular and i’m so sorry about that.
this weekend and the days prior to it really took it outta me and i wasn’t really really expecting that.
anyway ily all and pls have some franks~🎃
#i’m fucking EXHAUSTED#how can someone be this exhausted for like fucking i don’t know ten days straight#like i know i’ve been averaging like ~3hrs of sleep a night and a crash was eventual#i was kind of hoping it’d be during my weekend with bestie so i could yk be rested#that clearly didn’t happen#anyway tho#frank is always a plus and highlight#so i’m gonna stock the fuck out of my queue while i have the brain power#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#mcrmy#frnkiero#my chemical romance#frnkie#my chem#ilhsm
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Drew silly friends as their silly pokemon they got taking those pokemon personality quizzes‼️‼️‼️🗣🗣🗣🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
Terri - @terriblyterri (SOOOO SLIPPERY SUZAN😨😨😱😱😱)
Jellian HUMAN SONA⁉️ - @jelliannn (SoOOOOO STINKY🤯🤯🤯)
The Ratking‼️‼️‼️ -ITSRAT!!!! (Little scrunched on discord,,,,, can't @ them because they don't have tumblr unfortunately😔😔😔😔 RIP...)
#i might do more#pokemon#pokemon challenge#i didnt get to finish everyone's oc's BUT ILL GET AROUND TO THAT EVENTUALLY I SWAR😨😨‼️‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🦅🦅🦅🗣🗣#i just really need to get back to drawing the regularly scheduled CRITTERS‼️‼️‼️🙏🦅🦅🦅#i miss drawing the goobers so much im actually tweaking 🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡🗞🗞🗞🗞🗞👻👻👻🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯‼️‼️‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅🦅🙏#going insane and running around like those little white dogs with the crusty eyes#(NOT CLICKBAIT‼️‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🦅🦅🦅🤯🤯🤯)#ah another late night post#im gonna go curl up in my very comfy blankets and sleep like a hibernating rAT
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I almost missed a mandatory class today because a kitten kept following me and I was scared it was gonna follow me into the train
#nana talks#it was so adorable it saw me started meowing and when I pet it it did that little jumping against your hand thing#after I played with the random kitten on the street for 10 minutes I was like ok I'm gonna be late for my train so I need to go#so I waved to the kitten but it literally kept following me and of course I kept petting it#like I walked two steps and it meowed and ran after me how could I leave that alone but like it followed me to the end of the street#so I was getting worried it might follow me to the train station and thats not a safe space for a kitten#like especially if it were to follow me into the train it would not know how to get home#so I called my friend and asked him to tell the teacher I might be late because of a kitten I wasn't gonna risk it following me near a trai#eventually the kitten went to sleep on a car so I could leave but I didn't wanna leave kittens are cute#I really miss that kitten by the way
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Thirteen Thoughts of Lights Above
#my art#rain world#rain world fanart#ok so.#i was doing FAM asks. and got sidetracked#This is the other iterator of mine. Thirteen :)#She's basically a giant radio tower!#She was built on vast flat plains. which eventually turned into marshland over the cycles#I'll add onto this post with more information about her at some point#ok my sleep schedule is truly screwed rn so im gonna go try to fix that#tomorrow ill finish clearing out the inbox cause I really want to do all of these!!!
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