#I've looked for such thing here to reblog it sure the post would exist but I couldn't find anything

[longagoitwastuesday]

I really can't stop thinking about Cyrano de Bergerac. The constant tears motif through the entire play, from pretty much the beginning to the very end, kills me. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and such a clear insight in what the characters hold most dear and what they consider most important, what moves and motivates them, and what makes them keep silent for a lifetime.

How Cyrano firmly states he'd never stain the divine beauty of tears with his nose only to later on weep writing a last letter, which utterly breaks Christian when he notices. And years later, again, how that is what Roxane appreciates more than the blood, the tears on the letter. The divine beauty of tears, which are Cyrano's, almost like his soul pouring out and staining his words, opposed to the body and the blood, which are Christian's; and yet how Cyrano is still fixated on the body and the blood that are not his, even when Roxane talks about his tears.

[deathdetermineslife]

I genuinely cannot stand you and your account. Every time I make a new account, you're always the in selfship tags filling it up with your terrible art and shitty posts. You are a waste of space and no one in this community likes you. Your f/o (who isnt YOUR f/o by the way, stop calling him that) doesn't love you, he definitely thinks you're annoying and wouldn't love you in any universe. I want you to know that I have an entire group of selfshippers I'm friends with that wish you'd do the world a favor and kill yourself, just so you know. It doesn't matter if you block me, by the way, because I can and will make new accounts to try to make you feel like shit. I pray to God every day you get in a terrible accident and die a slow and painful death. You mischaracterize "your" f/o (just a reminder, he doesn't love you and wishes you were dead!), you make the entire selfshipping community look stupid, and you're a sharer, too, which means you don't actually love any of your f/os anyways. You should get off of Tumblr. I'm serious, several of my friends are skilled hackers and will dox you. You don't deserve any of the merchandise you own, you don't deserve to be happy, really. And don't even try to tell me that since I'm a proshipper this goes against my "antiharassment values" or whatever I'm sure you'll try to say, every single proshipper I've spoken to thinks you're a hypocritical, disgusting, terrible individual that doesn't deserve the likes and attention you get. I seriously cannot believe anyone will a brain follows you. They probably do because antis don't have brains. They're retards that like throwing pedophile accusations at anyone that breathes. You all are some of the most idiotic and stupid people I've ever seen in my entire life. I cannot stand you. No one likes you, any mutual you think you have is secretly hoping you die, and trust me, a few people I know who follow you or at the very least have reblogged your things are secret proshippers! Isn't that terrible? I'm sure you think so. Because you think we're so bad, don't you? You think that all of us are rapists and evil people that deserve the death penalty. Every time someone reblogs the art you make and says "otp" and "I ship it", just know they're lying to you, they don't believe that, in fact, everyone's out to get you and no one likes you. And that server you own? Just know no one in there likes you. All of the friends you probably think you have? They don't like being around you. He doesn't love you, no one loves you, and if you have more f/os, they don't like you either. Your familial f/os want to disown you, your platonic f/os wish you weren't friends with them, and every single romantic f/o you THINK YOU HAVE does not LOVE YOU they DON'T LOVE YOU and they NEVER WILL. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. Every person I have talked to you about agrees they wish you didn't exist they wish you never made an account they wish you never started posting to selfship Tumblr. You are lucky that your main blog isn't linked here because if it was, I would be sending asks there too so you'd have to delete your main blog too, and maybe then you wouldn't come back to Tumblr. The entire selfship community hates you and your lazy posts that a five-year-old could write up. In fact, just so you know, I regularly steal your posts and post them to the proselfship tag and they get more attention than your blog. Antis are the minority in fandom, no one likes antis. Not a single person likes them, you're all braindead children who have no morals or understanding of the world. This website would be better without you on it. I know you'll post this, and I know that there's probably going to be people in the replies telling you that they love you so much and that you're a good person and that "your" f/o loves you but he doesn't love you and he never will love you and you're absolutely fucking delusional if you think so. I fucking hate you. I'll continue to ban evade until I can push you off of this website. You can't get away from me and I will dox you.

uh oh someone let grandpa out of the nursing home again. also you sound like an evil supervillain. you expect me to take this seriously? this CANNOT be serious I'm giggling so fucking hard

anyways, heres all the art i have of me and korekiyo!

also bad news buddy, i dont have any familial or platonic f/os. womp womp. go back to algebra class, lil bro.

[necrotic-nephilim]

@profandomhopper i was going to reblog the original post this comment was left on but i felt it divorced itself from the original topic so much, you get your own post for giving me delightful permission to ramble about this. buckle in people this is long.

so, DC is a big fandom that expanses a lot of different types of content, and like anything, is subject to crossovers. the obvious ones like Marvel are for the reason of being a similar and equally popular superhero world, so it's easy to transpose the worlds onto each other and overlap the characters. both of these worlds deal with multiverses and endless, endless heroes. it makes sense and there's no real stretch to think Batman and Spider-Man could co-exist. i mean, there have been canon crossover comics. and even some more random crossovers like White Collar have pretty easy to trace origins, being an actor in WC was a popular Dick fancast back in the day so there was some bleeding over that led to a well-loved niche crossover space.

but Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug are where it gets interesting. because at a surface, MLB sort of makes sense. it's a superhero world, you're following a teen girl superhero and sure the mechanics are pretty contained, but the crossover should make sense. but when you compare it to the crossover numbers of other superhero media like say My Hero Academia, Ladybug takes the *crown* with such a bizarre popularity. and of course, DP feels like it makes even less sense. sure, you *could* lump it into at the very least, superhero-adjacent media, but it's not a true hero world like MLB or DC is.

but, the thing to always understand about DC, *especially* the Batfamily (which is where the crossover content propagates the most) is this: a *very* good chunk of fans don't interact with the comics. i would venture to say even most Batfamily fans don't read the comics and actively talk about it. we've all read a very fandom big Batfam fanfic where the author's note mentions the writer has never touched a comic in their life. typically, these fans are either cobbling together their understanding from fandom content, or by frankensteining unrelated DC adaptations to understand each character. you take Bruce from Batman: TAS, you take Dick from the animated Young Justice, you take Jason from Batman: Under The Red Hood animated movie, you take Damian from the DCAMU Batman vs Robin, and you read some fandom metas to fill in the rest and well, you've got some sort of an understanding of these characters. read enough incorrect quotes, some genfic, a couple of character metas, and boom, you understand the Batfamily fandom enough to start creating your own content. and of course now. now you have Wayne Family Adventures so it's even *easier*. a pretty easy to pick up webtoon that's filling in all the gaps for you. but i've been in this fandom long enough to remember before we had WFA and even then, this was still a common, if not the most popular way, to ween yourself into the DC fandom space. you cherry-picked the canon you liked and then plunged into the depths of fanon.

i'm not here to make in depth commentary on if i think this is a good or bad thing. trust me i have that commentary in my head, but that would need it's own post. i'm very split on it and my feelings are complicated. my feelings on WFA are even *more* complicated. because oftentimes, the attitude expressed by these fans who are frankensteining this version of the Batfamily/DC world they have in their head is they don't *want* to read the comics. the comics don't contain the content they're after. and to an extent, i understand that. if you're looking for light-hearted vibes of the Batfamily all getting along and having the occasional hurt/comfort moments but in the end, they hug and make up, you're right. largely, you won't find that in canon. of course there are so many comics to recommend for Batfamily interactions, but you have to get specific. you'll find them interacting in small groups, Tim and Dick bonding here, Duke and Cass bonding there, but largely, the comics don't care to balance the ridiculously large cast they've given themselves. but fandom does. it's easy to toss them all in a blender and ignore the parts you don't like. the default argument to ignoring the comics or writing something OOC is always "well the comics are OOC and inconsistent too" which, while a flawed argument that massively misunderstand how comics work as a medium, isn't an entirely incorrect one. you could serve on a silver platter to these fans, an easy and accessible way to get into comics and they wouldn't be interested. it's not what they're here for. fandom is always character-driven above all else. it's driven by character relationships and dynamics. if someone wants to consume content where Tim idolized and stalked Jason as 'his Robin' and now is trying to help him rehabilitate and they're super complicated but have this long epic forgiveness arc, why *would* they read the comics? because they're sure as shit not going to find that dynamic in the comics. it's laughably OOC and not canon at all, but that doesn't matter. what matters is the sandbox. most Batfamily fans care *far* more about the sandbox canon gives them than the actual canon itself. feel how you feel about that, this really isn't being negative toward that attitude, but it is a common attitude.

so, you have Batfamily fans playing in the sandbox and building their own narrative. common fandom headcanons are so common, you could practically write a guide on how the fanon Batfamily works with how consistent people are about it. or you could just read WFA, which is practically the new manifesto of it. even now, with this sudden spike in people talking about canon accuracy and "actually this happening in the comics", they don't actually care about the comics, just what they can cherry-pick for fodder. (even if they rob it of so much context they're just as OOC as they were before. see specifically: the recent phenomena with Tim Drake going from the woobified weakest member of the Batfam who everyone needs to save constantly and he's the smart boy but he's also the one with a sad tragic neglectful past who gets overlooked being the way Batfamily fandom played with Tim for years. but recently, people seem to be pushing this idea of a ridiculously badass Tim, Tim who *totally* has a kill count because of his actions in RR (2009) if you take them completely out of context, Tim who bested Ra's and is even more badass than Jason and he's the 17 yr old CEO of Wayne Industries being cool and flawless it becoming the new fandom zeitgeist. neither of these versions of Tim are canon, and the second fundamentally misunderstands his arc in RR (2009) but the shift has undeniably happened and it's been fascinating to watch. the same thing happened with people suddenly deciding Jason isn't the "angry violent Robin", he was a sunshine sweet boy who was perfect as Robin. neither of these are true, but the second feels more transgressive and new to fandom from cherry-picked panels.) the point is largely, Batfamily fans would rather build their own canon than play with the actual canon.

and then, you have Danny Phantom. i'm not into DP and have no interest to get into it, but what i know about it via fandom osmosis is this: DP fans sort of also don't give a fuck about canon. once again, the canon of DP is a sandbox, not a rulebook. the concepts and the characters are the draw, not the plot itself. i've seen DP posts explaining characters who are essentially OCs, but have become so dominant in the fandom via fandom osmosis. there are concepts and ideas about how Danny's powers work and potential concepts with his ghost nature that either aren't in canon or only happened once in canon and fans decided to expand on that and doesn't care about it's own in-universe logic. i've seen a lot of DP fans also express they haven't seen the show and they don't have plans to see the show. because the show is just some children's cartoon with some inconsistencies and a simple plot, as you'd expect from CN. the show isn't the point. no one cares about it's plot, they care about it's characters. they care about pushing the concept of half ghost boy to a logical extreme and seeing what you can get out of that. can you make it weird and fucked up. how much can you highlight on his trauma and body horror. what identity crisis can you give him and how can you build his interactions with other characters in his world around that and also make those characters fun and unique on their own. sure, the skeleton of canon is there, but the meat lies all in the fanon.

Miraculous Ladybug also exists in this similar vein. the characters, the concepts, those hold intrigue. and not even mentioning the fact the original concept for this show was supposed to be aimed to an older audience, so you can see the bones of something a bit more mature and nuanced under this typical, villain of the week magical girl transformation show. the show itself is a bit shallow and that's not a *bad* thing, it's just the medium it exists within being aimed towards children. but the concepts of a teen girl who's basically a sort of chosen one, a boy who doesn't know his father is the big bad of the show, and their weird identity porn love... square thing. those dynamics are *so* complicated and such a fun sandbox to play in with character-driven fandom.

so, at the core, you have three fandoms that care more about the culturally accepted fanon than the canon, with a good chunk of people often not even consuming the original canon content. and well, DC is an *easy* world to transpose just about anything onto. a boy who's half ghost and fighting supernatural threats? that makes sense, DC has ghost heroes like Deadman already. a girl who has this magical item that gives her animal themed superpowers? i mean that's practically the same thing as Vixen's Totem so that one makes sense too. they fit in pretty easy, no needing to change the world to accommodate them. and of course, if you're a fan of *one* fandom where you don't care for the canon content and only like the fandom sandbox, chances are, you'll get drawn in pretty easily to another fandom with similar mechanics. if you can teach yourself the DP fandom rules/concepts, you can teach yourself the Batfamily fandom rules/concepts. and well, since there's so much crossover in fandom members, why not write the fanfiction? crossover fics will always exist, but with such a shared member base, you have a really big boom.

it's why the characters you see DP interact with in DC are *always* characters who are far more driven by fanon than canon. Danny and John Constantine is a *massive* concept. for people who don't read Hellblazer comics. my poor partner, @divine-dominion has lamented to me pretty often about finding DP content in the Hellblazer tag that is essentially turning Constantine into an OC. because whatever version of Constantine is being written about isn't one bit comics accurate, and really, isn't trying to be. and the same thing happens with Shazam. you watch Young Justice and understand him well enough, you get drawn in by the character concept that you just run with it. people put their favorite blorbos in the same place because hey, wouldn't ghost boy be pretty cool in a city like *Gotham*. how would Batman even react to him. and then, the shipping. because ages for the Batfamily can be easily hand-waved and moved around based on where you plop Danny into the timeline, you have your pick of the litter with him, and same with Ladybug. of course there are the most popular ships but largely, the world is your oyster.

i don't think this is the worst thing in the world for either fandom. it's not hard to filter out the crossover tags and scroll past content i don't like. and sure, i see the appeal of making your blorbos from two different places meet. i've got my drafts *full* of DC/MHA crossover ideas because well, i like them both and think that would be cool. i think my only gripe with it is when DP or MLB crossover content seeps it's way into the wrong tags. using the above example, if you're writing about Danny and Constantine but there's zero content of the actual Hellblazer comics, i don't think you need the Hellblazer tag, just the Constantine character tag. tbh i wish this extended onto Ao3 and people utilized fandom tags better. if you're writing Batfamily fanfiction that is very clearly and obviously WFA driven in characterization and concepts, i would far prefer those fics be tagged with the WFA fandom tag rather than the Batman (comics) fandom tag. because well, you're not writing about the Batman comics. and there's nothing wrong with that, but it helps if you don't confuse yourself for content striving to interact with canon more. (this especially extends to Young Justice, by the way. if you're writing for the Young Justice tv show please, please stop using the Young Justice (comics) fandom tag. i'm at my wit's end- /lh)

the whole thing is fascinating. i've got zero interest in entering DP or MLB as fandoms because that's not my speed, but witnessing it as an outsider is my favorite pastime. i see a *lot* of posts going around the DC x DP space that are helping explain to people who's who, what's what, and understanding the canon/fanon of both of these properties so others can better enter the space. which is not something you'd need in a fandom driven only by it's canon content, but it is sweet watching others try to help newbies enter the space. it's a very inviting fandom space, i think, whether you lament it's existence or not. they're just sitting in their corner with their blorbos, and i gotta respect that. the posts explaining the Batfamily to DP fans are always fun for me to read, even if i disagree with some of the characterizations in them because it helps shine a light on what the fans of this crossover regard as "important" enough about each fandom to be worth including those sorts of primers. very fascinating stuff.

[muffinrecord]

Current Plans + Musings

I don't plan on playing Exedra to the degree I did for Magia Record, or playing it at all. Because of that, I won't be taking an active role in the community and archiving anything for it. Of course, if Exedra has like amazing gameplay and stories then this is all subject to change, but for now I think I'm done with phone games.

The two youtube channels will stay up and I'll check em periodically to make sure there aren't copyright strikes against the content. I've saved all my raw files, especially for the battle animations, so I can remake them in the future if the music ever becomes a problem for some reason.

Google Drive will stay up until Google rots away. I haven't recorded footage in a long time (as in stories, I do for the character doppels and such), but I'll upload things if they're sent to me.

Magia Union Translations still plans on translating things and making videos, especially leading up to the end, but also for after the game is over for whatever wasn't made in time. I'm not sure what form this will take in the future-- if it'll be manual captions added to the videos or not, but I know it WILL happen.

As for this blog, I'm not going to delete it or anything. However I'm going to be taking a step back. I'd like to say that I'll do liveblogs but I mean... *gestures at blog* I've been saying that for years and the only one I really did successfully was the Oriko one lmao. Ahhh oh well.

I'll have more words later, but it was really fun to be part of a fandom experience like this. I'm excited to work on my own original story projects though and quiet down a bit.

...

When I started this blog, I never expected it to have people actually read it. Or look at it. I just wanted a place to gush about how much fun I was having. I didn't even want to tag the posts with "Magia Record" at first because I was terrified people would be mean at me, haha.

But I'm glad I did. I made so many good friends through this game. I'm glad it existed. And it made me happy to have a place where people cared about what I had to say. Some folks actually got their news from here, can you imagine that? They had notifications turned on for this blog. My god.

Anyways, I'm going to be here for the next two months, and tomorrow I'll start reblogging fan projects and initiatives, plus general news. Maybe this blog will turn into a dumping site for art and fanfic reblogs, who knows. I might watch the remaining stuff and add various thoughts here and there.

Otherwise, you can find me on my main blog @malignmuffin, which only reblogs stuff (I don't talk much if at all there). I have another tumblr blog for my comic, but I think I'll reshare the name once I actually have content you can look at on it. It's pretty bare bones for the moment.

Actually it'll be funny if the end of this game is what makes me finally work on it again. I was in the process of working on it when NA came out, and it totally derailed me. Stopped writing, drawing, just focused on this silly little phone game. Now it's like those five years have gone by and I'm going back to where I started, except I think my lil comic is going to be a bit better than it was before. If I actually make it, that is.

If I ever do actually make my comic and start posting it, I'll be sure to update y'all here. hah

Anyways, thanks for being on this wild ride with me. The memories have been great, and I'm glad I had this experience, even if it had to end.

[eternalbuckley]

We could have had it all. — rafe cameron

SUMMARY: Rafe and you used to hook up with each other until you broke it off. Now he wants to get your attention back.

word count: 1,854

genre: angst | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: mention of sexual content (no smut), use of petname (baby), strong language, alcohol consumption, crying, emotional talk, use of Y/N one time, english is not my first language, slightly proofread — if i forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: I've been thinking about a long time to finally write for Rafe and here it finally is!! It's my first full fic in months but hopefully you can enjoy it!! Happy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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Doing anything possible to distract yourself from reaching out to him got harder every passing day since things broke off between you. It‘s not like you were together or something. You couldn’t keep doing this 'we-are-people-who-like-each-other-and-occasionally-have-sex-with-each-other-but-are-not-in-a-relationship-or-friends' thing that you had going on with the infamous Rafe Cameron. It was draining you and your mental health. Sure, it was fun and good times with him. You would never lie but the thing that made this even more complicated were your feelings for him. You didn’t plan on falling for him but in the end, the heart wants what it wants. He made it hard for you to resist falling for him.

Rafe was not the perfect person to fall in love with. He never talked about feelings or showed them in public. But there were a very few small moments that showed him in his more vulnerable and caring side. There were moments when Rafe would snuggle up to you after having sex with you. His soft sighs made it more special for both of you. Rafe loved these moments. Including the moments where you two would just lay in bed without having sex. Just cuddling, him stroking your back and telling you about one of his more recent accomplishments he was proud of. Were he would crack jokes with you and tell you how comfortable he feels. He just would never admit that he loves these moments though. But you tried to hate these moments especially because the next day he would act like nothing of that ever happened. But you couldn’t.

If you two were in places with others he would barely look at you nor talk to you. Unless he was feeling horny and needed you. Rafe would find a good moment to catch up with you when nobody would pay attention and whisper things into your ear to get you worked up. ‘Ready to get out of here, baby? Can’t wait to leave you screaming underneath me.’ All until you would be whimpering and practically begging him to drag you into the next bathroom or any possible spot to hook up. Afterwards? You didn't exist to him. But you couldn’t keep doing this. Being treated like this was not what you wanted no matter how much you liked Rafe. It took you many tries to finally tell him you don’t want this anymore.

It was after one of your occasional meetings to sleep with each other. He was lying next to you in his bed, catching his breath and looking at the ceiling instead of you. After you caught your breath, you made the decision to end it.

“What are you doing?” Rafe eventually looked at you and watched you getting up to gather your scarred clothing.

You put on your underwear and looked at him while taking your shirt. “What does it look like, Rafe?” you put on your shirt, “I’m putting on my clothes.”

He was confused and sat up. The blanket slightly moved and exposed his stomach, “Why?”

“I’m leaving.”

Rafe nodded his head and leaned back against his bed. “When will we see each other the next time then?”

“This was the last time. There won’t be a next one. This thing here,” you pointed between you, “This is over.”

“Sure. As if you wouldn’t fold the next time when I whisper all those things I’d do with you. I know your body too well by now,” he chuckled which made you roll your eyes.

“Fuck you, Rafe.”

That was all you told him before you left and never came back. And it was the last time you had sex. Since then, it had been almost two months but it was still hard to ignore him whenever you saw him. Whenever you did, you immediately turned around and went the other way to get out of his way. It’s not like he would give you attention anyway. But little did you know that it drove him crazy that you ignored him. Especially tonight.

There was a party again and you looked absolutely breathtaking. All night he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Most of the time Rafe completely ignored his friends talking and only had his eyes on you. He wanted and needed you but couldn’t have you. But seeing you talking and seemingly flirting with another guy made him go feral. Rafe’s jaw was tensed up and he was gritting his teeth. He was trying to control himself but seeing you happy with another guy and all giggly made him want to beat up that other guy. He knew you were tipsy and close to making out with that guy since your and his hands were all over each other already. But he wanted to be the one you were touching like that. He wanted to be one who makes you laugh and smile like that. He was desperate. For you.

Rafe took his last sip out of his alcohol-filled cup and threw it away. He made his way over to you and harshly shoved away that guy from you. He fell to the ground and let out a muffled ‘what the fuck man’.

“Take your hands off her, asshole,” Rafe spat down on that guy. Not caring at all that this drew all the attention of the party to the three of you. He was in a rage and jealous.

You stood behind Rafe and looked at his back. You were shocked by the sudden action from his side.

“What the fuck is your problem, man?!” The other guy stood up, not knowing what he was getting himself into. You wanted to stop him but you couldn’t move.

Rafe was fuming, “You’re my problem. Get the fuck away from here or you’ll meet my fist,” he raised his voice. Rafe’s nose was flared.

“What are they? Your partner or what?”

Suddenly you became very aware of the attention you all had on you. You looked around and saw a few people whispering while watching the scene that was going on in front of you. You slightly put your hand on Rafe’s arm which startled him for a second but you noticed that he eventually slightly relaxed to your touch.

“Rafe come on,” you insisted and tried pulling him away from the guy you were talking to and the attention of everyone else.

Rafe’s eyes were still locked on the guy while you were pulling him away. You ended up on a more private part of the beach. Once you made sure you were out of sight you angrily shoved Rafe.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” you shouted, “Why would you do that, Rafe?”

He looked at you, not exactly knowing how to explain why he did it. Simply because he had no good explanation at all. He just did it out of instinct as if he had to do it even though nothing was going on between you anymore.

“You had no right to do that!”

You were angry. Angry at him. It was the first time he truly saw you being angry with him and he wasn’t sure if he should have done it now. All he wanted was your attention.

“I… I’m..” he stuttered, “I’m not sure.” Rafe held his arms in front of you, trying to calm you down.

You scoffed and crossed your arms, “Sure. Why would the Rafe Cameron have an explanation for why he wants to control every single person around him even if they want to be left alone. Ever the guy who threatens everyone.”

Rafe sighed and closed his eyes while moving his palms over his eyes. You knew what it meant when he did it. He was shaking and overwhelmed by the sudden burst of feelings. He didn’t know what to do. He never cared about anyone that much until he met you. Everyone knew he wasn’t the guy for emotions but he felt calm and more happy around you. The moment he first realized what he truly felt about you he started pushing you away. Rafe was afraid of the feelings he held for you. He was never in love, nor did he know how it felt to be loved except by his little sister.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for what I did.”

“Don’t,” you shook your head. You didn’t want to believe him. You were tired of the games he played with you. “I know you aren’t, Rafe.”

“Listen to me, Y/N,” his voice cracked as he looked up at you. “I am sorry. I.. I know it’s wrong what I’m doing to others most of the time. I just lose control in m..moments like that and I don’t know what happens. Y..you know? I’m trying. I’m trying to be better...For you. I want to be with you,” his voice was trembling and tears were in his eyes. He covered them with his hands again.

You didn’t know what to say and just stared at him. The sudden talk about his feelings was overwhelming for you. You didn’t know he would be able to talk about his emotions at all. It was quiet between you for a moment.

You sighed and shook your head, “As much as I want to believe you, Rafe. I can’t. Not after the way you treated me.”

“I understand.”

Tears were building up in your eyes now. “No. I don’t think you do, Rafe! I felt miserable. You never dared to give me attention whenever we were in the same room unless you needed me for your needs,” you argued. “You just want me back because you don't have my attention anymore. You loved that I gave myself up to you whenever you wanted it, Rafe. But you never cared about me or what I wanted. I didn't exist to you until you needed someone to fuck. Even if you could have had anyone else… In the end, you always came to me because you knew I couldn't resist you. You used me. I was good enough for a quick fuck.”

“That’s not true. After all, you enjoyed our times together.”

“I never said I didn’t enjoy sleeping with you. I just didn’t enjoy the way you treated me every other time we weren’t sleeping with each other. I didn’t feel like a person around you and that’s why I ended this whole bullshit with you.”

Rafe gulped. You turned your body away from him and tried to hold back your tears even more. You didn’t want him to see you like that. This wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want him to know how you truly felt. You clung on your cardigan and looked at the moon that was reflecting in the ocean.

Your voice was trembling now. "Just tell me that this was a fucking lie. That everything that happened between us was not real. That every word you said, every compliment, was a goddamn lie and you didn’t mean one single thing. Let’s just act like nothing ever happened and act like strangers again."

"I can’t," Rafe whispered which made you look at him.

[casinoroyale]

Hi everyone!! Theseus cquackity viceduo zombur revivebur here.

This blog has seen several hiatuses (my bad seriously my bad), and bouts of irregular posting. So I'm sure people who regularly check it have noticed that we (Fiona @quackbur and I) haven't been posting daily anymore and haven't for a bit now. So below the cut I'm gonna talk more about that, and our plans for this blog going forward

For starters, I love roleplaying on this blog so much, as does my cohost Fiona @quackbur. Fiona has done so, so much writing for this and I feel kind of bad for taking her credit over the past two or so years, so props to her for being such a good sport and for everything she's done. This blog wouldn't exist without the shared passion she had for it.

To get sappy, I love the friends I've made in bedrockverse, they remain some of my best and closest companions. I would not trade the times I've spent with them for the world. Beau, Holly & co, Met & Co, and Thunderbottles are some of the loveliest, most supportive, and insanely talented people I have ever had the pleasure of writing with and meeting.

This includes people who aren't part of the bedrockverse that I've written with!! Shoutout to Javi anonymous-jey casino-duckling, TGM the-g-m duckofthelaw, and AD anonymous-dentist therealnoodleman. It was so much fun bringing all the quackverses together, and I respect all of you so much as writers.

AND that also includes EVERYONE who has interacted with her!!!!!!!!!! Everyone who has sent asks (thank you so much, sorry we're terrible at replying), reblogged threads, commented, posted/liveblogged, DREW FAN ART (BLOWS OUR MINDS. THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH INCREDIBLE ART CREATED, WE CANNOT THANK ALL OF YOU ENOUGH), even just liked a thread, thank you. Seriously, it has meant a lot to us to be part of this community, and have so many people enjoy this blog. Insert Pitbull image happy you enjoyed.

So, going forward it would make us really happy if you all pictured casinoroyale as happy. He has songbird-sunrise, goofygoop, and a nation full of citizens that she loves. She babysits for tubbolul and latenightmining, and terrorizes rp!emduo not infrequently. All we really wanted was to bring c!quackity to a happy place and I feel we've done that. Of course he still has shit days, as a ptsd baddie, but the good days are more common. And if we never get to it (though I hope someday we do, maybe in the form of a collaborative one-shot or fic) know that casinoroyale and songbird-sunrise DO eventually get [REDACTED]. And one of them DOES get [REDACTED]. That was always the plan! Yay! [REDACTED]!

Not to say that we don't have more arcs planned for this blog, because we do! I just don't know when/if/how they'll ever get written, especially because a lot of my friends have moved on from their rp blogs as well. But I really do still feel happy with where he's at and happy with everything I've done. This is a project I'm really, really proud of and I will always look back on fondly.

None of this means that I'm not interested in c!Quackity or DSMP as a whole anymore, either. Actually that couldn't be further from the truth. But now I'd like to be able to focus on fics, and other forms of writing, which I've been doing more recently :D actually, you can read a short one shot I posted for exile's anniversary HERE

If you've made it this far into this long, sappy post, THANKS!!!!!! The TLDR; this blog is on an indefinite hiatus, and won't be returning to its formal glory, and that's okay. We had a really good run. Now, off we go to other things

[therecordconnection]

Some Thoughts Regarding James Somerton

I know I'm rather late to the conversation and some of these points may have already been talked about in some form elsewhere on the site, but if you don't mind, I have some thoughts of my own regarding the subject of hbomberguy's latest video and I would like to take time to voice. This blog is normally dedicated to music and music writing, not posts about disgraced Youtubers, so I apologize for the detour in regularly scheduled programming.

First, I think it's important to make the distinction that Somerton isn't just a case of "problematic Youtube guy got owned... twice" but rather a genuine case of academic dishonesty, which is several grades above youtuber drama. This isn't something like Tati Westbrook getting angry at James Charles for sucking dick and cock at a birthday dinner. This isn't Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas or whomever having beef. It's not Charlie Critikal talking about some stupid drama of the day or someone just using Youtube videos to say a bunch of gross and problematic stuff. No. This is a fucking grifter who not only lied, cheated, and stole his way to the top, but also did it by using a vulnerable community that has long had their voices snuffed out and their history completely rewritten or wiped from existence altogether. What history he didn't plagiarize, he twisted and outright lied about. He just made shit up to suit his own gross agenda.

A lot of things about James Somerton left me absolutely livid, and I admit that I didn't even know who he was until hbomberguy's video. I think what makes me the most mad is that I went to undergrad and grad school with a number of jackoffs that were just like him. People that didn't give a shit about the art of writing and research and just treated academia and the pursuit of knowledge and how to critically engage with art and media into a stupid game that only chumps take seriously. Somerton pisses me off because I AM a writer. When I write the Ranting and Raving series of posts on here, that stuff doesn't just fly out of my ass. I have to sit with a song, study it, research it, and make sure I know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a clown. I also have to make sure that I link and credit where I'm getting information from. It's not just important for my own satisfaction, but it's important for anyone who stumbles upon a post on this blog and takes time out of their day to read it and/or reblog it.

I think that's the part that makes me the most mad. That he and Nick Hergott have so little respect for the work that goes into researching and writing about a topic that other people are really passionate about. Spending time with something, studying it, and figuring out an interesting and unique perspective on it is a great feeling. Sharing what you find or how you see something with others and having them either like or reblog your work is an even greater feeling. That's my writing that somebody enjoyed and thought was worth sharing with others. Fuck fuck fuck Somerton for thinking you can take a million little shortcuts to get to that result.

While I'm on the topic, I don't think Hergott gets a pass for Somerton's actions. I've seen some people make the argument that he isn't complicit and there's a chance that he genuinely had no clue that Somerton was doing this... but I don't buy it. There's no way he didn't know and wasn't in on it in some capacity. Even if he wasn't, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out in his video on this situation, Nick is, whether you like it or not, an accomplice to Somerton's lies and he is complicit in the blame, due to his name being included in the "Written By" credit of a lot of those videos with Somerton. The way I see it, I find it hard to believe that he couldn't have known. I imagine part of Hergott's signing on with Somerton was that in the event that shit hits the fan, Hergott would be used as a fall guy to help deflect accusations of plagiarism.

To return to Somerton, in a way, he's almost worse than AI/Chat-GPT because, really, an AI has no morals. It can only do what someone punches in and tells it to do. Somerton is a guy who does have genuinely insidious ambitions and knows fully what he's doing. That shit about "only the boring gays who didn't mess around in the eighties survived the aids crisis" is the wildest and grossest accusation I've seen about gay people in some time. The wild takes about the Nazis (especially all the wrong things he said about fitness relating to Nazis) should also raise a lot of red flags. I'll say this though, I don't blame anybody in the slightest for not fully realizing Somerton was saying shit like that or doing all of what he was doing until hbomberguy and Todd presented it a certain way and made it all very clear. It's easy to not notice it when Somerton buries it by ripping stuff off from other, better writers. So, if you were someone who was a big fan and was genuinely shocked by the things Todd had to fact-check and debunk and worried that you're a bad person for having not caught any of them, trust me, you're not. Nobody should blame you for not catching it. <3

While I'm ranting about this, I want to say that Somerton's patreon grift was really gross to see exposed as well (through Dan Olson's really great thread, which can be read here). I understand the allure of wanting to buy expensive gear and thinking that's somehow needed in order to make Good Content™️, but there's a stark difference between someone saying "I think I need to shell out a little money in order to get something of higher quality" and "I need to have the appearance of looking like my stuff is being made with high quality stuff." As someone who has been experimenting with trying to turn his writing into video, I did some audio tests this weekend and realized that maybe (just maybe) the old Turtle Beach microphone my brother left behind when he moved out isn't going to cut it. If I want to record something I can be happy with, I'm gonna have to bite it and look at getting something decent, but somewhat affordable from a Best Buy or something. You don't need the best tech in order to make something great, but you can't use copper tools forever if you have the means to be able to enjoy using iron ones, you know?

Somerton's grift reminded me of guys like Onision and Spoony. Grifters who looked to Patreon and other creator donation sites for an easy pay day and would bitch and cry and complain that it's your fault when they don't get it. Somerton making poor financial choices ON TOP of it being money that he scammed from a community of people that were looking to invest in a voice that they genuinely thought was speaking for them in a meaningful way, only makes the grift more disgusting and foul. Even if he's just "some Youtuber," Somerton still had a responsibility to his audience to present queer topics in an ACCURATE manner. He didn't and we all have the right to be angry with him about it. This isn't just silly youtuber controversy, this is academic dishonesty in it's purest form and if it gets you expelled from any college program, it should get you expelled from being able to show your face on Youtube as well, which is how Somerton's story will end.

I've been on the internet for many years. I've seen some of the worst, most problematic creators of all time find a way to bounce back from all kinds of controversy and find some kind of success again. I don't think that will happen for Somerton. Not one bit. What he's done is something you can never come back from, no matter how much you try to reform. If two different youtubers can make two completely different videos about why you suck, I don't think there's any recovery. What happened this weekend is a now classic episode of World's Most One Sided Fist Fights Caught on Film.

This post has gone on for a while, so let me wrap it up. I mean this without hyperbole and without exaggeration: James Somerton is a disgrace to both media criticism and the art of video creation. I genuinely hope he remains propped up as a cautionary tale of what can happen when you fully decide you have absolutely no respect for the Humanities and decide that lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top, all while scamming and being incredibly shitty towards a community that has long suffered and is STILL suffering greatly to this day, is better than any kind of academic honesty. I understand that Somerton is just "some youtube fraud" to some people, but the problem lies more in what Somerton's actions and motivations represent. I really think hbomberguy's video on plagiarism is going to do a lot of good. It's going to help a lot of people avoid doing it as well as help people become more aware of what it really looks like and all the damage it can do.

Thank you for your time.

P.S. It doesn't really need to be said at this point, but make sure you support the queer voices and writers that did the work Somerton thought was good enough to just copy and paste into a video. They're the ones that suffered the most through all of this and my heart goes out to them, from one writer to another. <3

[howtonerdoutovereverything]

Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish Season 2 Predictions

OK, OK, OK, I know this topic has probably been discussed to death, but considering I'm new around these parts, and also considering I've been thinking about this for literal weeks, I figured I’d just spill all my thoughts out. If I forget anything or if I think of new stuff, I’ll just reblog this post and add it.

Anyways, let’s start by looking directly at the end of the Season 1 Finale.

Hazel’s friends (and brother) now know about the existence of fairies

So this is probably the biggest thing to come out of the finale. With her one rule-free wish, Hazel wishes that her friends (and brother) can keep their memories of the craziness that just transpired, meaning they now know about the existence of fairies and the fact that she has fairy godparents. This has the potential to open up a lot of interesting dynamics.

Seeing Hazel and Dev interact after they found out about each others’ fairy godparents in Battle of the Dimmsonian was so fun, as it’s not a dynamic we’ve seen a lot of throughout this franchise (at least to my understanding; I haven’t watched the OG show in a LOOOONG time). So now that the group of people “in the know” has expanded, and considering they all have a much different relationship with Hazel than Dev, a ton of wacky shenanigans could ensue. For example, Hazel and Antony now both have to keep Cosmo and Wanda’s (and I guess also Peri’s) existence a secret from their parents, which I can definitely imagine being used for gags. Also, I’m sure Jasmine, Winn, and Antony are going to want the fairies to grant wishes for them, meaning they’ll have to ask Hazel to make those wishes. I can totally see an episode where Hazel is constantly making wishes and gets super exhausted/frustrated. But in general, I think that the fact that Hazel doesn’t have to keep her fairies a secret anymore means that her friends can be involved in more episodes, or at least be involved in a more significant way. Jasmine and Winn, while being great characters, definitely deserve more development. Perhaps we could meet their families. And with Antony, perhaps we could meet his girlfriend?

But if we’re going to talk about friends, there’s one person in particular we have to bring up…

Dev Dimmadome (and all of his shit)

So…here’s the thing. Dev 100% remembers everything that went down in the finale. I know this is a fairly common theory and people have been discussing it, but just in case you’re out of the loop, here’s why I think this is the case.

When Hazel makes her rule-free wish to Jorgen, she specifies that she wants her “friends” to remember the events of the finale. And while, in the moment, she’s definitely thinking about Jasmine, Winn, and Antony, it’s made clear throughout the past few episodes (specifically in Best of Luck, if I remember correctly) that she still considers Dev a friend despite all the disagreements they’ve had. She even spells out in Lost and Founder’s Day that friends can have arguments and still be friends, so unless that belief of hers has radically changed (which I doubt), it would make sense if Dev ended up getting lumped into the wish purely because she still views him as a friend. As others have pointed out, this could explain why Jorgen freaked out so heavily when Hazel made her wish. Why would he react like that if there wasn’t going to be some big consequence?

And speaking of big consequences, I think Dev remembering his attempt to take over Fairy World and the loss of Peri as his godparent is going to have a big impact on him and affect the direction in which his character arc goes. At the end of the finale right before Hazel makes her wish, Dev straight up says that he thinks he deserves his punishment, and seems extremely dejected. The weight of his actions is clearly affecting him, and when you add on his realization that the fairy godparent he treated so horribly still cared about him even when he was on the verge of death BECAUSE OF THAT MISTREATMENT, I feel like Dev is going to be starting off the season in a pretty bad place.

I feel like for the first episode or so, Dev is going to be wallowing in his regret and just generally feeling like trash, but not knowing how to deal with it. He knows what he did is wrong, and seems convinced that Hazel isn’t going to forgive him or that it isn’t worth pursuing a friendship with her any further. Hazel will probably notice this and attempt to talk to him, as she’s not used to seeing him like this (and also is probably assuming that his memory being wiped would mean that he’d be “back to normal”, because remember, she doesn’t know he remembers). Dev will keep avoiding her, some shenanigans will happen that force them to come together, and Hazel will push Dev into admitting what’s wrong. He’ll finally spill that he remembers what he did and feels horrible about it and there will be some sort of reconciliation (I imagine Hazel saying that she doesn’t fully forgive him, but doesn’t want to see him be miserable because, at the end of the day, she’s still his friend and wants him to be better). This will set the two of them off on a good note for the rest of the season.

But that doesn’t mean that everything will be fine and dandy with Dev…

Peri’s role

So given the fact that Peri has swiftly become the fan-favorite character of this series, I have a feeling that, if Season 2 is greenlit, the team behind the show will want to give him a more prominent role than he had in Season 1. I remember being a bit disappointed that we didn’t get as much of him in the show as I was expecting, but then again, I doubt the team could’ve anticipated just how popular Peri became.

With that being said, let’s consider where Peri is right now. He’s just lost his first-ever godkid, whom he cared about despite the fact that he wasn’t very appreciative of him. Given that Peri was very clearly trying to prove something through his godparenting of Dev (mostly that he could “make it on his own”), losing him is going to absolutely DEVASTATE HIM. I can picture him crashing in his parents’ apartment, crying on the couch while eating ice cream and having absolutely no self-confidence. But I can also see him attempting to secretly help out Dev even though he’s not his godparent anymore. I’ve seen plenty of artwork of Peri disguised as a babysitter that Dale hires, and I think that would be a great way to get more Peri and Dev interactions as well as provide a fun twist on Timmy and Vicky’s dynamic from the OG show. Dev will likely be a bit conflicted by Peri’s attempts to help him out, and I can see an episode of them sort of reconciling. Given that there was originally going to be an episode centered around them in Season 1 that got scrapped, this could be a good way to reuse that old idea. Plus, if I’m honest, I just want to see Peri’s human design.

Plus, having Peri essentially go undercover at Dev’s place will give us an opportunity to check in on a certain character…

Dale and Project H (and the Pixies…?)

Ah, yes, everyone’s favorite bastard and terrible father, Dale Dimmadome. The last time we saw him (besides the finale), he was obsessing over Project H, AKA his attempt to figure out why Hazel didn’t buy anything on Founder’s Day. We saw Cosmo and Wanda essentially (and inadvertently) feed Dale the answer he was looking for: Hazel has fairies and therefore doesn’t need to buy things. When Dale inevitably discovers this, we know there’s gonna be a plan that involves fairies somehow. But what?

Personally, I think the most likely answer is that Dale is going to want to utilize fairy magic in some way so he can essentially play genie and bring himself more fame and esteem. Or perhaps he’ll create some uber-expensive device that allows people to wish for things, but the catch is that people have to pay in order to make wishes. Given how powerful fairy magic can be, I can see this being super successful, and Hazel, Dev, and their friends will need to find a way to rescue the fairies who have been kidnapped and had their magic taken (including Cosmo, Wanda, and Peri). However, there’s another wrinkle that I think could also be interesting and possibly a bit more unique…

So originally, according to the series bible, the Season 1 finale was going to involve Dale teaming up with the Pixies. Given that the Pixies are very business-focused, Dale would likely get along with them and be willing to team up with them in order to satisfy his greed. They could easily reuse this concept for the Season 2 finale, as the Pixies seem like an interesting and fun group of villains to have the gang go up against. Plus they would probably pose a formidable threat and invite some creative scenarios and solutions in order to defeat.

There’s also one more possibility I want to discuss in regards to potential villains and season-long arcs…

The Galax Institute

In “Crock to the Future”, we’re introduced to the Galax Institute, where Hazel’s father works. It’s revealed that A.J. is currently the head of the institute, and Crocker has been attempting to land a position there. We know that the Galax Institute studies paranormal phenomena, and it’s hinted at in the first episode that fairy magic could very well be one of those things. This could potentially be a great set-up for a season-long conflict.

I feel like A.J. being the main villain of this season would be a really fun twist. He doesn’t even have to be a mustache-twirling villain or super conniving, but having him serve more as just an inconvenient and unknowing antagonist would be interesting. He could be leading an effort to study increased supernatural activity in Dimmadelphia, and after finding out that a good amount of it is centered near the Wells residence, he could assign Marcus to investigate. Hazel and Antony would then have to try and hide Cosmo and Wanda from their dad and find a way to stop the Galax Institute from learning about the existence of fairies. Having Marcus technically be on the side of the “bad guys” could lead to some really interesting dynamics. Hazel might have to eventually tell her dad about her fairies in an effort to get him to help her protect them from the Galax Institute wanting to kidnap and study them. And considering Dale will likely still be playing a large antagonist role, perhaps he could be funding the Galax Institute’s research after taking part in a board meeting with them and noticing similarities between the phenomena they’re describing and what he’s found out during Project H. This could lead to some more complex conflicts that would be really fun to watch unfold.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s about it for now! Feel free to share any of your thoughts/predictions with me, as I’d love to discuss possibilities for this season!

Oh, and most importantly: STREAM THIS SHOW WHEN IT COMES OUT ON STREAMING SO WE CAN GET A SEASON 2

[tellmegoodbye]

Hello everyone,

Happy LONE STAR DAY!!

I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.

If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.

Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!

Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.

Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.

Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!

---

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?

Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest

This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.

To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.

Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour

Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.

This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.

Impossible - Nothing But Thieves

Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because

I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible

I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out

I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.

@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos

Tags!

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand

@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood

+ open tag

please tell me if you would like to be added/removed from my tag list

[amethystfairy1]

Hi Amethyst! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask in, but I have been reading both fics every day (still obsessed lmao) (also I name changed btw, used to be ElenaLoo)

Anyways, I had written a whole ask waxing eloquent on all the wonderful things going on in ttsbc, but I accidentally shut off my computer partway through and frankly I can't be bothered to write it all out again lmao. Just. It's beautiful (wow isnt that so meaningful and deep? im sure you're feeling very complimented rn)

The REAL thing I wanted to talk about was Traveling thieves (which is by far my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME), and all the amazingness in ttsbc made me forget it even existed for the past few weeks. But the other day I was just like "oh yeah. Traveling thieves." and then i reread the whole thing. whoopsies.

Ummm anywyas there's so many thoughts in my head about all the little guys, but recently I've been on an Imp and Skizz obsession (just scroll on my page for .2 seconds and you'll see) and YOU. You left them on a CLIFFHANGER. >:((( (not actually mad btw). I just. so excited for them. They're out alone in the woods right now and Skizz is going to have the perfect opportunity to kill Impulse and get away and I just am falling apart thinking about them. (I drew them to cope lol, posted on my blog but also later here so that I can talk about it more). I can see this playing out a few ways. Obviously Skizz isn't actually going to kill Impulse, so he's either going to 1) make up some excuse as to why he can't do it right then, but still plans to do it eventually, or 2) he does it. but he doesn't. Skizz attacks Impulse when he's not expecting it, there's a scuffle, and Skizz comes out on top---BUT THEN HE CAN"T FINISH IT!!! and it's a whole thing where even tho skizz tried to kill him, imp is still so understanding and skizz cries and impulse just freaking gives him a hug and

sigh

Whatever you do will be beautiful, I'm sure. I think you mentioned you're switching to tt after this fic, so crossing my fingers it's imp and skizz. (Though, would also be very happy with Martyn and Ren :P) (or anything really i just love tt)

Anyways, I had the art on my blog but I'm also putting it here so i can say things about it to you

Mostly I'm just very proud of their expressions, with Impulse being all concerned glancing over at Skizz, meanwhile Skizz is completely deadpan staring forwards, also looking very tired bc he needs a break from this universe. Also I switched up my Impulse design a lil bit from last time (if u even remember that lol it was months ago now). you would think, just looking at them, that Impulse took way longer to design, but nope, I was messing around with Skizz for at least double the time, trying to figure out how to have him facing forward whilst still showing some of the scars on his back. I gave up eventually xD (all that means is that im gonna have to draw him again later, from different angles)

actually that made me remember a question I had: are you planning to ship Imp and Skizz? Ik you said Zed and Tango are going to be a thing far in the future, but... skizzpulse? plzzzz plz pretty please haha im not obsessed

aaaaaand that reminds me of another question, is skizz going to be in ttsbc? (pretty please also same question as tt, if he was in ttsbc, are him and impulse together? Im addicted to them all i care about these days is some good imp and skizz shipfics, and you're such a fantastic writer, both with plot and the vibes of the words themselves. u could write such good imp and skizz. just imagine the possibilites! (am i selling it?))

aaaaaanyways. im gonna go reread the old tt skizz fics because theyre delicious and painful, like eating knives. u have a good day :))

HIIIIIII

I ADORE THIS ART SO MUCH! I gave you all my rambles on the reblog but it's SOOOOO COOL!

I'm sad the waxing eloquent about TTSBC is gone 😭 but that's ok!

I'm so glad you're enjoying TT and all the drama going on in there! Imp and Skizz are definitely having a time and a half with all of this nonsense going on...I love all your theories! I won't confirm or deny anything of course, but I'm so happy you're excited for them!

I will not be shipping Imp and Skizz, sorry! I just personally don't ship them, so they're gonna remain platonic...I mean, in TT who knows what the hell they're doing to be fair 😆 but yeah, Zedango is going to be a thing in the distant future, but no Skizzpulse! Sorry!

Skizz is not in TTSBC at the moment, that doesn't mean he never will be! Just haven't found a spot for him yet...and no, he also would not be with Impulse, I'm so sorry I just don't ship them personally! I think it's a very cute ship tho!

Enjoy rereading the TT Skizz fics!!! Thank you again for the gorgeous art!!!! I love it!!! 💖

[sophieinwonderland]

Hello Sophie, I'm Rune, a tulpa in the "Ross" system. You've done some great wonders for our community and my system and for that I thank you a thousand times. I'm sure you've gotten plenty of responses to THAT post you blogged yesterday, and it made me feel pretty conflicted. I understand where you're coming from, but it still seemed harsh. Do you genuinely believe it's a mistake for anti endos to receive love? Or any of the other points you made (I didn't disagree with all of them)? Maybe I'm too much of a pacifist, but I felt like that crossed a line we as a community shouldn't. I'm aware they also use tactics like these and worse ones, but it still feels wrong to me.

Sincerely, Rune 💜

Genuinely? I don't know...

I had a whole post typed up saying that I don't honestly believe that, that it was mostly about getting a reaction, but the more I've thought about it the angrier I've gotten.

When SAS's main blog was doxxed by AEV and their friends, I watched the whole anti-endo community cheerfully defend it.

When there was a vent sent to AEV talking about wanting endogenic systems to kill themselves, the anti-endo community here ignored it.

When there was a post with a picture saying "Death to the Endos of Tumblr," their community said nothing.

It feels like the absolute lowest bar for human decency in a community is not calling for people to die for existing, and calling out that behavior when you see it, but most anti-endos have failed to clear even that bar.

And it would be one thing if these were small posts from blogs nobody cared about, but the picture calling for death to endogenic systems had 60 notes, and AEV is one of the biggest anti-endo blogs currently.

And let's not forget the "endophobic" flag, a twisted mockery of pride flags, made a few years ago that got 240 likes while the flag was all about how much they hate endogenic systems.

And including that reblog about how they hope it helps people perceive endogenic systems as enemies and not people to really drive the point home.

(Also... why is there a thin "blue" line in this flag. I know it's not actually blue, but that's what they call it and it's a weird design choice.)

And then I think back again to how Aimkid was bullied off of social media by anti-endos for the crime of being traumagenic system who happened to be pro-endo.

And how despite anti-endos claiming to be doing this all for the sake of trauma survivors, using their trauma as a shield, many of the people who are most hurt by anti-endos are trauma survivors. Either purely traumagenic ones who are bullied by them like Aimkid was, or ones who are mixed origin with CDDs and are denied access to support because they're partially endogenic in some way.

I've said before that people can change. And I believe that. How people are now doesn't have to define them.

But as I look at the anti-endo community as it exists right now, the vast majority just suck and are terrible human beings. If they're not actively participating in the worst actions of their community, they're at the very least seeing it and choosing to remain silent.

[hogwarts-legacy-confessions]

Anon writes:

"Right, let me get this straight. 

Creators in this fandom are shamed for being over 30 or made fun of for being under 30. We're wrong for shipping our MC's with the popular NPC's but just as wrong if we share "too much" lore about our original characters. We're shamed for putting our characters in too much makeup or modern clothing, shipping gay characters because it's not "era appropriate" (despite same sex marriages being literally CANON in the game), or for not shipping gay characters "enough", imagining characters in relationships that would "never happen" because some anon said so, aging up our characters, not aging up our characters, or making an error in a fic that we shared for pure enjoyment and fandom enrichment. If we're popular, it's only because people are sucking up to us, but if we're too nice or supportive, it means we're only chasing clout — and if we DARE try to cultivate some positivity by giving accolades to our favourites on the hype blog, we're made fun of for "sending anon hype about ourselves." 

*slow clap*

It's like you people don't WANT this fandom to exist.

I speak directly to those of us who have personally felt the negative effects of this blog:

Block it, ignore it, filter it out of your feed — do whatever it takes to protect your energy. 

Fandom is a space for YOU, not some nasty-ass anon. Your blog is yours, your creations are yours, your characters, stories, artworks are YOURS and you can do whatever you want in the pursuit of your own happiness without having to adhere to a bunch of nonsensical judgements from self-entitled anons. If they don't like it, they can eat rocks. Or alternatively, use how to use the filter system. 

Babes, you owe these people NOTHING. Stop listening to them. 

Personally, I believe this blog has done irreparable damage to our small fandom and I hope fervently for it's deletion.

Bye."

....

I've done this anon the favor of blocking her from this blog so she can more easily avoid the temptation to look at it. I thank her for her honesty that what she wants is this blog deleted.

I'm not the type to cave to social pressure, so that's not going to happen.

I do agree with what this anon said about not letting things posted here get to you. People are expressing a variety of viewpoints, and oftentimes, even on this blog, others are disagreeing with them and they are sometimes even ratioed.

But - I urge you - if your presence in fandom can't coexist with any criticism, no matter how indirect, that's something that needs to be explored on your end.

I'm a creator too, you know. I'm a writer for starters. I also make the dreaded AI-audios, I make videos, I post photo mode grabs and all kinds of other things. Does everyone like my work? No. Have people expressed that to me? Yes. Have people posted anons here that applied to me, or were directly targeted at me? Also yes.

I don't expect everyone to have my thick skin, but if this blog's mere existence is that bothersome to you, I urge you to please submit an anon request to be blocked. This will make it less easy for you to peek at the blog through your fingers.

Seriously - I've already removed a lot of posts, and vowed to be more censorious going forward. If you won't be satisfied until this blog is no more, I don't know what to tell you. If you have someone in your DMs who is constantly sending you things from this blog or bringing it up, you need to ask them to stop. Otherwise, it's up to you to curate your experience on Tumblr, because I have never once seen a negative post about creators from here be reblogged by more than about one person, and often with plenty of push back. So try to put it in perspective for sure.

Hope this helps.

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

I just read a post I would have liked to reblog for some points, but not for others — so I think I'll just muse about it in my own post.

The post was about the dichotomy of TME and TMA — terms I at first accepted without thought and then began to criticize and eventually grew annoyed with, then saw them as a straight up red flag because of how big the center circle of the Venn diagram seems to be between people who use those terms regularly online and people who use them to disparage trans people who were assigned female at birth. The crossover with people who use insults like "theyfab" seemed to be pretty big too. And it's inaccurate of course; you can't say anyone is transmisogyny exempt based on an innate aspect of their identity. And people who use TME as an insult (seemingly anyone who used it at all) seem to all be hateful about transmascs having terms like transandrophobia to describe their experiences.

But the post that made me muse right now started out saying that yes, it's not precise, it's not fully accurate, but there's something experienced in perpetuity by transfemmes, assigned male at birth, that isn't experienced by anyone who can convincingly assert that they're not trans women — and TMA is trying to reach for that, and transmisogynists wouldn't grant us any language to describe our experiences.

I've been wrong a lot about fundamental things, and realizing where I've been wrong tends to start with a feeling that there's something I'm trying to reject, because it's uncomfortable to me or violates my previous worldview. Learning I was trans, learning about plurality, the process of noticing transandrophobia within the trans community... and long before that, when I lost the faith I'd been raised in and came to recognize it as highly damaging. It's deeply unpleasant for these shifts to happen.

I've been getting a feeling like that lately, but I wasn't sure where it was placed exactly. Each time I notice a problem with my worldview, I get more cautious about what possible new problems could crop up. It makes things, well, more uncomfortable.

Anyway, this one post I'm mulling over phrased things in a way that made me start looking more closely at what it is I've been avoiding. Because my mistrust of people who talk about TMAs and TMEs came alongside a rising pride and solidarity in transmasculinity, and a frustration with people who deny the trans community language by calling us "transandrophobia truthers" and other closed-minded, bigoted nonsense. (It's so fucking frustrating.) So... I haven't been looking for discussions about the terms TMA/TME outside of the hateful context it was showing up for me in.

And this post I'm mulling over mentioned requiring language to talk about experiences, and that clicked. It clicked with me that, while there are a whole lot of people playing boys v girls 2.0 in all this, there's an underlying need to be able to discuss the unique experiences that come with every aspect of who and what we are — and we're trying to categorize, categorize, categorize.

Part of what made me decide not to engage with the post that made me start talking about this is that the OP brought up the idea of transfeminine people who were assigned female at birth... and how that's, to them, a ridiculous idea. The thing is, it's not, and accepting that is part of not overcategorizing. It's an unusual thing, but it's real, and it can mean different things. You can't restrict the type of people who can exist.

But it's true that there are experiences specific to one's assigned gender (like AMAB) and to one's physiological reality associated with it that, in an intersection with a specific or adjacent actual gender (like trans woman, transfeminine, or transneutral with perceived femininity), are important to recognize as, for the most part, unique.

My ability to be specific here breaks down, though, because I know from reading the words of certain intersex people that a lot of the intersection of transfeminine and perisex AMAB isn't actually unique unless you ignore intersex people. I don't think I can say more than that. I don't think I can get nuanced enough.

But I can use an "opposite" example to try to draw a parallel. Because there is an AFAB trans experience that isn't shared by perisex trans people who were assigned male at birth: the risk of pregnancy, and specifically restrictions on bodies with uteruses. That's a difference that TERFs like to prey on to drive a wedge in the trans community. They like to convince us that they're the only ones who care about that part of our lived experiences. That is wrong. And we shouldn't let that difference divide us.

In the same vein, we shouldn't let that difference being something that could divide us turn the topic into one that trans people who have uteruses need to sacrifice in order to stand together with trans people who don't. I think that's contributed to transmasculine erasure. The assertion that it must be so would fall under the umbrella of transandrophobia, a much needed term for the sake of discussing that.

Now back to transmisogyny affected/exempt. An argument I've often shared and agreed with and been fervent about is that it's just recreating the AFAB/AMAB binary. And I have seen people argue that no it's not, it's different, but in recognizing how often it's used that way by bad actors, I decided to ignore that argument. I'd say it doesn't matter; it may as well be that.

I think I've been wrong. And I've known I was wrong, in the back of my mind, for a while. My initial acceptance of the TMA/TME dichotomy had me making that same argument, so it felt like something I had moved beyond. Now I'm letting myself look at it more closely, I'm coming to a less accepting-it-on-faith understanding of the argument.

I'm also forming a new way of explaining my own experiences as a genderfluid person. Hopefully doing so will help to articulate what I'm thinking;

I am, currently, TME. Not in the literal sense that I don't experience transmisogyny at all, but in the sense of, "I have a body that allows me to avoid and avert transmisogyny directed explicitly at my person." I'm affected by transmisogyny in a lot of ways I've been working through for some time now, and it's for that reason that I still await better terms for this concept—but using these terms as I believe good faith actors do, while I'm not exempt from transmisogyny in general, I am TME.

But I won't always be.

I am a genderfluid person who was assigned female at birth. I started testosterone a few years back, and then I stopped because I wasn't sure how far I wanted to take it. I've been coming to terms with the fact that I need to go further and I may have to be on HRT indefinably to be able to be my full, real self... but I'm still also a woman. And it will cause me dysphoria if I can't present as a woman at times when my body has been fully affected by testosterone.

I don't know if I'll be able to be stealth in any direction. I will be affected by transmisogyny in a way I'm not right now. The difference between how I'm affected by transmisogyny now and how I will be then can, at the moment, be communicated with "I'm TME now, but I'll be TMA when I transition."

And that terrifies me, honestly. I had recognized that terror as being me internalizing transmisogyny, but not as me being afraid of it. I know I'll be more comfortable with myself, but...

The forms of transmisogyny experienced specifically by people who are perpetually perceived as male (or "supposed to be male") while presenting as female are more scary than what I experience now.

And that is worth being able to talk about.

And that is worth having a term for.

And I suppose "TME" and "TMA" are the terms people are using right now, at least online. Imprecise language is something we have to work around sometimes.

I do hope that the discussion can evolve language that doesn't so easily allow bad actors to use otherwise potentially useful terms as a weapon of lateral bigotry.

And, in general, I hope the discussion can move in a direction that discourages that more by rejecting separation of trans people into boxes based on AGAB without erasing experiences that come with AGAB. Categories are good and useful to a point — but not as boxes so much as colors we're painted with. You can't split people into groups based on any one category they're colored with without forcing some people within those groups to de-prioritize something else they are.

...

This feels like it could be a draft for a real good blog post, but I know I won't post it if I wait and try to rewrite things later, so it'll have to be the finished thing.

It's been a while since I tried to add to the conversation like this. Gonna turn my anons off in case of problems. I am OUT of spoons and won't be able to respond to any opinion about this, but feel free to say things anyway if you're nice.

[savrenim]

I visited your tumble to try and find the (hopefully still) spoilery post you warn about in ANs for the unfinihed fic, We Raise It Up, because I fell in love with the story and I would love to see more and your plans for it (even if you did write farther past your original plans reached, I'm sure it would still be fascinating or fun to read)

Except I got lost in the Scum Villain posts (my fav!!!!!) And all your reblogs, and I completely forgot what I came here for and it's been over an hour and I only just remembered that I was looking for more with your TMA Time Travel Fix-it fic (it feels very hope-punk to me and I love it!!)

Tumblr is playing very mean with my phone (as always) and the search is. Not working great. ...I actually clicked on the "Send Ask" option about 10 minutes before this window popped up, and I've been searching between now and then, so- tumblr, what are you doing???

...anyways, just in your inbox to say I love your fics and your taste in reblogs! And that hopefully I'll find more stuff about your story, soon! Keep being awesome!!

aaaah thank you so much!!

I am like 99% sure that the post you are looking for is this one , which was the post that I originally made of "I WANT TO WRITE A TMA FIC THIS IS APPROXIMATELY WHAT IT WOULD BE" that then outlined The Whole Idea Beginning To End. so it does cover more than what is published in the fic.

it is........ very interesting to look back on because there are, like.... maybe one-to-three major spoilers still in there but scattered amongst twenty red herrings that have totally changed as my plans for the fic changed / I actually filled out my outline and adjusted bits and pieces or realized that [x] would work better than [y] etc etc etc so like. if you decide to look at it you will probably be able to tell comparing it to The Actual Fic that some serious things have changed already but that just like. fully applies through the end. so it remains a read at your own risk! there is the original conception of the ending in there, that the actual ending has been refined from.

gods I've got about half the remaining stuff actually written it's on my list to sit down and write the rest of it because goddamnit I want my writing to exist in the world not just on my computer but that will happen when it happens

in good news I'm pretty sure tonight is the last of my edits to my newest fic a svsss fic never told you what I do for a living that, to give a quick preview/ the current planned summary is

【 The System was successfully activated! Bound Role: Wu Yanzi, Demonic Cultivator and Master of— 】 {} Not his body. He remembered dying. An undeniable System, before it had bugged out. Okay. Okay, he could handle this. Transmigration. Demonic cultivator. Named… Fuck, he hadn't actually caught what he was supposed to be named. …..There was only one piece of media he was familiar with that was about demonic cultivators.

expected post time tomorrow evening???? very excited about that

[payidaresque]

The New Editor tips and tricks (sort of)

So, i got a lot of interesting activity with my recent poll regarding what editor content makers actually use, and i noticed that some people (well, most actually) really struggle while using it. And as i'm using it for some time now, i found some ways or actually making it work better/be less annoying. Please note that this is in no way an attempt to try to force anyne to start using it, this post is desinged to be a help post for those who may not know how some of its functions work, and maybe an informative post for others, and maybe make content maker's life a little bit easier, and that's it!!!

If you're intrested, please read below. And please pass it along so more people can see it! Thank you. Warning: image/gif heavy!!!

Add more images after you already added some This is useful if you want to add a gif to one side only. If your making a comparison gifset, for example. After you added your gifs, click on the space between them until you see a blue line, and then hit enter. This is useful because you don't need to drag your gif all around, and if it's added to one side, it sticks to one side only. The same applies to the other side

Reorder gifs The most handy way would be by dragging them by those 4 squares thingy. The blue lines may be distracting, but think of it as the guides as to where your content will be placed

Double check What I mean by that is this: when i add my gifs, they usually added into text editor itself, so in order to be sure, I take a gif, and drag it one level above, like this:

Obviously, the new editor needs a hell lot of work before getting implemented permanently, but i hope this will be at least of some help for those who strugling. There's a lot of issues with text formatting as well, maybe it's the matter of a habbit that i don't find it very hard as of uploading/rearranging gifs anymore, my main issue with it, personally, is that it makes my content look ugly for others (surprisingly, they look as intended to me, i checked it like several times before). I do understand that staff needs to update the code that was written over a decade ago, and it's important to think of it from the technical side of things too, because it may be that the old code is outdated, so they simply can't use it anymore, even if they wanted to, cause you know, progress is never sleeps, in every aspect of life, especially such a complicated thing as programming and coding

What i'm trying to say is, that as a content maker myself (i've been making content, mainly gifs, for over 7 years on here), i understand the frustration. Trust me, it pisses me off too. What staff can do tho, is fix the existing bugs

Don't just complain. Explain. Angry tags in reblogs won't help the case. Send them feedback/tickets telling what issues you personally have with the new editor, preferably with screenshots/gifs to show off the problem, so they know it's not just words but actually see the problem. And try to be as detailed as possible. The new editor kinda sucks, but it's nothing that can't be fixed And maybe they'll listen to us

[vashti-lives]

So like, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the whole discourse around comments and how people comment so much less than they used to but one thing I think people my age have forgotten and younger people have no idea about is that in the era of LJ and the height of ff.net there were A LOT more negative comments than there are today, at least as far as I can see.

For one thing, in the mid 2000s really fucking mean negative comments were so common there was a term for them "flames" and people would regularly mention them in the authors notes of their fics. "No flames or I will delete this story" "flames will be used to roast marshmallows and which Inuyasha and I will eat while laughing at you" "this story contains SLASH! that means boykissing!!! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ! NO FLAMES!!!!!!" etc. You get the picture. It was a different time don't judge. This happened more on ff.net than it did on LJ but it definitely also still happened on LJ.

If you've ever looked into the whole Ms. Scribe thing and puzzled over why anyone believed her, this is why. She was making shit up for fame and attention but lots of authors experienced similar harassment that was actually real. I know people like to be like ~in my day people knew how to use the back button~ but let's be real. Some people weren't using the back button they were going into the comment section to be homophobic and explain all about how you'd burn in hell one day.

I'm not saying nobody gets mean comments anymore but the fact that we don't have a special word for it now and people aren't constantly talking about it in their author notes strongly suggests it's less of an issue.

Even aside from that in 2024 we have commenting etiquette that just, didn't exist in 2004. Its commonly understood now that offering unasked for critique is bad but like, that didn't come out of nowhere. "Are people allowed to send critique to the author of any fic they read?" was an absolutely HUGE fandom fight that got hashed out again and again for years before finally settling on, "mmm let's not." In 2004 this was not a settled debate and imo leaving unasked for critique was much more common, and in fact people who were coming from closed forums and things like yahoo groups felt it was *good* etiquette to always leave critique because that's how it was done in their much smaller communities, which were often more focused on improving specific skills.

If it is true that people leave fewer comments now* we might be experiencing the reality that you can't have your cake and eat it too. The more rules we have about what kind of comments you can and can't make the more people at the fringes are going to decide its safer to just not comment because what if they do the wrong thing and make someone mad? Several years ago my dash was just awash with artists begging people to reblog their art and also awash with artists complaining about the tags people left on the art they were reblogging, it was extremely clear to me that this was a choose one situation. EITHER your art gets reblogged a lot and sometimes people say dumb shit or you shield yourself from bad tags and get a lot fewer reblogs.

There are a number of posts going around right now about how don't you know authors can SEE the comments you leave on bookmarks!! And I've often thought that the end result of this campaign is going to be even less engagement than people are already getting. It's not going to result in nicer comments in the bookmarks its only going to result in less bookmarks.

TBH I actually think getting less negativity in your inbox might be worth fewer comments? Like, I'm not sure fandom made the wrong choice here but I do think continuing to police the kinds of comments people leave is going to continue this cycle so if you really really want your readers to engage with your fic you are going to have to accept that some of those comments will be shit like "UPDATE PLZ" or whatever. I don't think there's a way to get less of the bad comments without getting fewer comments period.

*In addition to everything I've written above there is a part of me that thinks the biggest problem is just that AO3 has a hit counter and LJ didn't and so when people were primarily using LJ they just didn't know how many people read their work without ever interacting. Combine that with the fact that everyone is functionally writing for much smaller fandoms because there aren't mega fandoms like there used to be and you get authors who feel like they're getting less engagement without actually meaningfully getting less engagement, because their OFMD fic isn't getting the number of comments that their 2010s era SGA fic got. Even when they understand OFMD is tiny compared to SGA they don't have the hit counter for their SGA fic to see just how many lurkers there were. the ratio might actually not have been as far off as you think!