#I've already posted it but IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE IT
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Realizing I post so little Cecil/Akari on my blog (bc i am scared to draw cecil) so here's my first attempt to remedy that. Akari lore and info below the cut for those interested (:
so just as a quick rundown of Akari lore/powers for those who aren't familiar with her: she was originally a Chainsaw Man OC, in which she was a devil hunter who had a contract with the devil of time. It gave her time manipulation powers, but every time she used her abilities, she would lose some of her memories as payment for her powers. Although I've moved a few things around to make her story fit in the Invincible world, that stuff largely stayed the same - she still has some kind of time manipulation powers (but I still have yet to flesh out exactly how it works), and using her powers causes her to lose some memories of random moments in her life. Since she manipulates time, I imagine she's "stuck in time" physically, so she hasn't been aging ever since she first got her powers - or maybe she does age, but every time she uses her powers, she's turning back her own clock? Either way, she's nearly 100 years old by now but still looks like she's in her early 30s.
She was born in Denmark, then moved to Japan where she changed her name and joined a Japanese government hero agency. She worked there as an agent for roughly 20 years or so, then long-story-short she wound up killing her boss (for a good reason dw about it). She gets arrested because, while she may have saved people for ending that threat, she still turned against her agency and killed a high ranking government official. They don't wanna kill her bc how many people in the world can turn back time? c'mon that's way too OP to get rid of, but she's still a criminal. But Radcliffe is known to make use of powerful individuals even if they have a criminal background, so he's like "you did good work there, now come do good work over here" and she moves to America and starts working for the GDA 👍 works for Radcliffe for a good 25 years or so, then starts working for Cecil when he takes over for the next 20 years. so that makes her like…. roughly in her late 90s by the start of the show
She's a competent, trustworthy Agent who's been in the GDA for ~45 years now, she takes her job seriously and is very dedicated to her role, but she has a relaxed and humorous personality that brings a lot of levity to the GDA. Got with Cecil when he was a field agent, and they've been on and off ever since. Not because they have a rocky relationship, but because both of them are very dedicated to their jobs and know that, if ever there was a need for it, they would both choose to sacrifice their love for the good of the world. So they keep things unofficial in the hopes that it won't hurt as bad when that day comes.
Cecil's "I'd make a deal with the devil to save this planet" vs Akari's "I already have." By design she is a very tragic OC, I joke she's the most doomed woman in any narrative she exists in, but she has a silly fun personality where she takes everything in stride anyway :3 we cope with the trauma via humor over here
and just a handful of cekari ramblings i've tormented my discord friends with (:
#my art#oc art#digital art#my oc#artists on tumblr#illustration#invincible#invincible oc#invincible fanart#Akari Hinode OC#<- u can look at her tag bc ive posted a ton of akari stuff in the past. but most of it will be CSM akari things#Cecil Stedman#allie rambling time#Cekari
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So I've been following 911 more regularly lately and gotta say, I think they lean into the Tommy/Buck age gap a little too much. Like when it has them acting like these characters are from entirely different generations, its a problem IMO, because its warping the shape of Buck's coming out narrative.
Standard disclaimers that this is all just my personal opinion, interpretation, I am not the boss of anyone and I'm rooting my stance in my personal experiences as a bi man not to declare My Authority over bisexuality and everyone's lived experiences, but just as my personal frame of reference and start point for engaging with this. I am not saying every bi person's experience is like this or Buck's MUST be like this, I am saying I Am Dissatisfied and Here Is Why. Okay. That out of the way....
My specific gripe is that I feel 911 is a bit too confident that because they (I assume) have LGBTQ+ writers on staff, they are above being weird about bisexuality, but they've had the characters say and do some things regarding Buck's coming out that aren't Ideal and in general it just feeds into my impression that they haven't put much or any thought into the fact that repression for a bi man can and often does look different than repression for a gay man.
Even more specifically, I'm pissed off about how there's no examination of Josh's speech to Buck about growing up in a post-Glee world.
Because here's the thing about their ages: I literally looked Buck's up after I watched that episode recently, because I was sitting there thinking wait, how old IS he supposed to be? Because I thought he was in his mid-thirties. And he is. Apparently Buck was born in 1991. I'm forty now myself. Buck's like six years younger than me. I'm supposedly comparable to what Tommy's experiences growing up would be. And I'm bemused as hell that the show keeps acting like Buck's formative years were that far removed.
Ignoring the "lol, okay" bit about treating Murphy's other show as the One True Watershed Moment for the social acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, Buck would've been eighteen when Glee STARTED. I promise anyone who wasn't around at the time that people did not all sit down and start ushering in a queer golden era when Season One dropped. Buck didn't even go to college, he was off on his near-decade road trip, he was twenty-four when gay marriage was legalized, like....
This guy did not grow up in a world that was ALREADY shaped by the things they keep talking about making it easier for him than Tommy. His formative years did not happen that far behind Tommy's. He was already out the other side of the toxic wasteland that high school locker rooms and internet boards were for closeted and repressed teenagers in the first decade of this century BEFORE all this stuff happened.
GROWING UP IN THE KIND OF HOMOPHOBIC SOCIETY THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT HAPPENED TO HIM TOO.
Its almost like. Its kinda WHY he's a grown man in his 30s only now coming out?
It shaped him just as much as it shaped Tommy. It just shaped them DIFFERENTLY.
Look, acknowledging that there is room in the spectrum of human sexualities and experiences for peoples' sexualities to adapt and change in various ways or degrees throughout their life, the show seems to be trying to have it two different ways when it comes to Buck's sexuality. On the one hand, they weirdly keep acting like Buck's attraction to men was just sorta simmering on the back-burner, waiting to hatch until here and now and he's "lucky" that his bisexuality waited until times were nice and progressive to finish baking, so he didn't have to go through the stuff Tommy and Josh did. On the other hand, every actual line from Buck used to describe himself or his sexuality screams "this man has been bi all along and just didn't realize it until now" which.....that's literally repression? The show is saying he was repressed, that he was so deeply closeted even he didn't realize he was bisexual until last season.
He didn't luck out and only become bi when it was nice and safe to do so, he was always bi and just hid it from himself UNTIL it was safe enough for him to feel secure pulling that awareness back out and examining it as a possibility for himself.
He flat out says "I mean I've always admired a hot guy's ass but that's normal right" - like that is a literal admission that he's been aware of the appeal of the same gender, he just talked himself into rating this No Big Deal.
But at the same time, we're talking about the Undisputed Reigning Champ of Oversharing. The King of Look How Good I'm Allying, Am I Doing It Right, Someone Plz Tell Me I'm Doing It Right. The master of seeing a conversational boundary and leapfrogging over it like he's treating hopscotch like an Olympic fucking sport.
Yeah people have commented on the possibility he's been flirting with guys for years (further indicative of yes, this man has been bi all along), but where in all of that was Buck chiming in with "oh yeah, that guy's hot" in the name of making sure everyone knew just how cool he was with people being gay and how not a big deal and normal it was for him, A Straight Guy, to affirm when other guys look good, if he ACTUALLY believed it was normal?
Its because he didn't, IMO. On some level, Buck was aware he found men appealing. And on a deeper, more internalized level, he was aware that no matter what he CONSCIOUSLY said to himself to reassure himself that he was absolutely a Straight Dude and this meant nothing, it was NOT in fact "normal" to check out a hot guy's ass and his admission of that WOULD result in people asking him some questions he was not prepared to answer or acknowledge yet.
That's repression. That's being in the closet. That's him actively being shaped by a PRE-GLEE world, same as Tommy, just in different ways.
Like let's be real for a second. As much as people have had to say about the person Tommy used to be, what Buck's coming out narrative could really use is a look back at the guy HE used to be. And NOT just in the banal, non-offensive "I used to sleep around, I didn't know what I wanted, but now I do" kind of way, but in the acknowledgment that Season One Buck was kinda not great. He wasn't AWFUL, mind you, but like. I say this with fondness for the character he's BECOME, but if I weren't aware that Season One was intended as a Not Ideal starting point that he started out at TO maximize his growth, like on a surface level, Season One Buck's behavior was off-putting and can and did result in people (perfectly reasonably) being like yeah this guy does not appeal to me. He was an overcompensating dudebro douchebag. He was out there checking off every single possible box on the Make Sure Everyone Knows How Straight I Am to-do list like it was his second job.
And I don't say that with judgment, I say that with "if we're going to scrutinize how the homophobic society Tommy grew up in shaped him, why aren't we doing that with Buck too instead of pretending like he somehow magically skipped being affected by all that and just stumbled into being freshly bisexual on the other side of all that mess."
I can't speak for anyone other than myself or my own experiences, so I have no ability to personally relate to what Tommy's experiences in the closet were or how he viewed or came to first acknowledge or admit his own sexuality to himself. But I can say as a bi guy, the thing about MY awareness of my attraction to the opposite gender when I was a teenager....is that since it overlapped with my awareness of my attraction to the same gender, I hyper-focused on the former and dialed into it in an effort to convince myself that it was proof that obviously I was straight and couldn't be gay, because if I was gay I wouldn't be attracted to women. Duh. Basic math.
And that's what Buck's coming out narrative is missing for me, both in canon and fanworks. Its not about whether he had it as hard as Tommy or if his coming out is easier or anything like that, its literally just....he was there all along too. Homophobia and biphobia were impacting him this entire time. Him not acknowledging this until now is not proof that he somehow skated by or they just missed him....him not acknowledging this until now is BECAUSE they DIDN'T miss him. They buried him so deep in his own closet, HE wasn't even willing to face it until he reached a point in his life where he felt safe and secure enough in himself and his support network to examine this part of him once someone - Tommy - gave him enough of a reason TO take notice again of the kinds of feelings and attractions he'd long since taught himself to ignore and not rate as worth a second thought on account of "it meant nothing" and "everyone does it" and "it doesn't actually mean or say anything about ME."
And I mean, given who Buck is and how he grew up, its not exactly shocking that a kid desperate for parental love and approval that he couldn't seem to get no matter how he behaved or what he did to try and "earn" it.....upon realizing that he was experiencing attraction that according to his surrounding society marked him as 'other' and 'deviant' and 'not normal' and all kinds of things that make it even MORE unlikely to "earn" parental or friendly or societal love and approval.....of fucking COURSE he was gonna run in the opposite direction of that awareness and slam the door shut behind him as he did. Clinging all the more tightly to any and all awareness of attraction he could point to as 'proof' to himself that he'd been mistaken to think he was anything other than straight.
So yeah. That's what's pissing me off about how the show's treated Buck's coming out. There's been zero examination of the fact that like. How and when he grew up absolutely left a mark on him, same as any queer person in their thirties....it just left a different kind of mark that's not interchangeable with the experiences of the other characters on the show. This new side of himself he's exploring didn't just HAPPEN to reveal itself seven seasons in, it didn't reveal itself until then because he'd been repressing it until then. That matters. That repression is as vital to his understanding of himself and the person he was and the person he grew up to be as his awareness and acceptance of himself as an out bisexual man is here and now.
Admittedly, this post was brought to you by happening across one too many fics that have Buck look back and clock his past crushes on people in high school and his twenties as actual crushes, but in an "LOL thats so funny that I didn't get that, how dumb am I" kinda way instead of the aching, painful way that many gay or bi/pan individuals can attest to looking back at earlier crushes and thinking what could've been if society hadn't conditioned us to either not be aware of what we were feeling or too afraid to face it or act on it at the time. And yeah, that's a personal hang-up, but like.
I just am really uncomfortable with how much the show and parts of fandom keep leaning into the Himbo Buck interpretation to play up 'lol cant believe I missed this until now' angle instead of examining that hey, none of this happens in a vacuum. Buck is in his mid-thirties and there are REASONS he 'missed' it until now. And again, with acknowledgment that everyone's experiences and formative influences are different, you can't just completely discount the possibility that those reasons include "growing up in a homophobic society" and "not feeling safe or secure enough in his surroundings, support network or sense of self to openly acknowledge and explore this aspect of himself until now."
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If you feel comfortable please tell me about your middle name in the tags too! I'm nosey and don't know what to do with my own middle name lmao
#polls#i've never posted a poll before but I've been thinking about this a lot lately bc I've always hated my middle name and like#if i'm already changing my name#may as well change my middle name too#i've been asking people irl but i'm running out of people to ask on account of I don't talk to people irl
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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Friendship and relationships are hard, I'm lonely and can't be loved by anyone, so here's some hard realities and wisdom from someone who's going to die sad and alone inevitably:
Many of you have got to try to put some effort in nurturing your relationships with your friends, or at least more clearly negotiate what your friends can and can't expect from you in the long-term.
Seriously, this whole 0-contact-aside-from-reacting-through-each-other's notes and proclaiming you're ride-or-die about someone for it? Is literally killing me. I've actually been dealing with suicidality because of how impossible it is to stay in touch with, or even on good terms with, people I thought were my friends but ghosted me, and then acted bewildered when I was angry with them for it or didn't acknowledge them as my friend anymore. "You can't be mad at me for not answering your DMs for 7 years! We're friends! I still reblog your reblogs!"
I am absolutely allowed to be angry, and I absolutely can demote you in my mind from "person I thought was a friend" to "mutual that ignores me until they need a dopamine fix or an answer to a specific question".
Months or years of unprompted, unbroken silence is not friendship - acquaintenceship, sure, but not friendship. It's a bad friend that expects love and loyalty by default no matter how long they've been ghosting their friends.
Love and loyalty are like a garden: they require cultivating and a commitment to nurture and grow, or else it gradually withers, and eventually dies. Earning the love and loyalty of a friend and then abandoning the garden of that relationship is how you find yourself locked out of your former friend's garden, or find them lonely, miserable, and exhausted from trying to keep the garden thriving when they themselves have slowly been dying inside because you haven't come back to the garden in years.
You have to learn to reach out and nurture your relationships. If you're autistic or otherwise have problems socializing, there are still some skills that you need to learn to avoid being isolated and friendless at the end of the day. Being autistic with trouble socializing is not an excuse to treat people you call your friends or that you claim to love like hobbies you can leave and come back to whenever you feel like - I learned this the hard way as an autistic person with shit social skills.
You have to negotiate what a friend can expect from you if you're an Outside Cat Friend that only drops in when you have specific reasons to reach out. It can be heartbreaking being the friend left waiting for a reply or a text without knowing the friend you're waiting for is an Outside Cat Friend.
Unless you have already agreed with your friend(s) that it's okay to ghost each other for extensive periods, spontaneously dropping out of contact with someone you've convinced is a good friend to you is really shitty and makes you a shitty friend.
"But I don't have the energy to reach out." Tell them.
"I have a lot going on and don't have time to talk." FUCKING TELL THEM.
"I haven't had anything to talk about." THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
"I've been too anxious to reach out." SAY THAT. JUST SAY THAT.
"I need a break from social contact for a while, so I don't wanna talk at all really." SAY THAT BEFORE YOU JUST DROP OFF THE END OF THE EARTH.
I've been the Reaching-Out Friend for most of my life, and in the past 5-10 years especially, I haven't been finding a whole lot of strength left to keep tending abandoned gardens that are thriving in name only. I've gotten fed up with self-professed friends that say they love me or view me as a sibling, but ultimately prove themselves to be bystanders when it's my turn to need someone to lean on and help me look after the garden.
Yes, there are absolutely friends you can have that can go years without hearing from you and still pick up where you left off when you do meet up again. They're awesome and worth keeping just as much as any other friends are.
There are also those friends that silently grieve your absence, that reach out to no avail, and wind up leaving the garden to die entirely after salting the soil with their own tears. Those are the friends that you've taken too much from without giving enough of yourself in return, and you've used them up and thrown them away without realizing you've treated someone that cared about you like a tool.
"I'm not the kind of friend that reaches out first."
That's your choice. No matter how you dress it up, when you decide it's time to neglect a friend, you're choosing to neglect them if they aren't prepared for what to expect from a friendship with you. You have the right to do that whenever you want to, but you cannot expect a warm reception with every person you do it to every time you do it. You cannot anticipate full amnesty in advance without full disclosure in advance.
If you're currently thinking of someone you've left sitting on read for a long time right now? It might be time to break your pattern and reach out for once.
Fall together, not apart.
#friendship#relationships#social media#dysfunctional relationships#words from an unlovable person#fake friends#rant#long post#don't send me contrived motivational dms#they do not help me and just make me angrier about how alone i am#basic kindness and companionship are too much to ask for. i've learned that the hard way#it's too late for me#so go reach out to the people you have before they're gone#i'm already consigned to isolation and loneliness#i've tried changing myself in every way i can possibly manage to keep the love and approval of the people i cared for most#they left me anyway. even family.#i am not a lovable person#and if anyone is reading these notes no. you are not the exception.#you cannot love me. it isn't possible. nobody can#i've fought for my entire life in the name of protecting the people i love#and i'm still alone#don't waste the effort on me#i've tried too hard for too long to make friends and find a community#those aren't things that i'm allowed to have#so i don't try anymore#nobody wants me#nobody ever did#the first words i ever heard as a baby that i can remember were “i hate you” from my sister#there ARE people in this world that die alone and miserable#i am going to end up one of them
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brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
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also idk whats going onnnn but my woman-liking is back suddenly and i keep thinking (aka yearning) about Pl.umeria 😭 i had no romantic feelings for her a few months ago what is HAPPENING TO MEEE (its not a bad thing, just confusing fjdkdl)
#real talk my sense of self has been extraordinarily unstable lately and its freaking me out fjfkdl#i dont waaant another big change in host... i want to have a solid identity pleaaase im trying so hard :[#it is very scary to like... /feel/ your identity slipping thru ur fingers like sand. idk how else to describe it#i think I've made some sort of compact block and then boom. starts crumbling and slipping away#pls forgive me and be patient w me if my posting gets weird (it might already be weird idk)#i am trying very hard to like... be a regular person who has One Singular Personhood but its not going too well fjdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future
(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)
#like i know there are already kids being like ''i wish i was a teenager in 2014 😭'' but i mean like#you know how like the past 5 years have been so 80s inspired#and also 90s#and how the 90s were really into the 60s#and i cannot wait for all the awful aesthetics that were everywhere when i was 12 to come back#bc i'm curious how it'll look. bc obviously it won't be like. the 2010s are back#it'll be this romanticised idea of the 2010s and i wonder which parts will be rejected and which parts you'll see Everywhere#god i feel like there needs to be a new Thing that causes the need for nostalgia#e.g. in the 70s when punk and indie started as a response to the way music was getting so. idk. complicated or whatever#or like kind of inaccessible to do yourself. like dgmw prog rock slaps disco slaps etc. but not everyone could just. do that#and then punk happened and it was so simplified like no long guitar solos or whatever it was so stripped down. and same with indie#not to ramble about what was in my dissertation but early indie was SO 60s influenced it was unreal. and. it was the nostalgia.....#and then i guess with punk there was new wave and post punk and then new romantics and synthpop and things got synthier and then idk#the 80s were so electronic which. again it slaps. but then it got to a point that it was Too Much again that there needed to be a Return#to the past and stuff. so then grunge and britpop and other stuff happened#and idek it always seems to be there's a new music genre or new subculture that evolves over a few years into different things#before getting too much and the next generation wants to go back so they make a new genre. which then evolves and the cycle goes on#but (at least from what I've seen. which probably isn't a lot bc i live under a rock) there doesn't seem to be anything New lately?#everything's all revivals of older genres now. like i haven't seen any new equivalent to emo or britpop or punk or beat or rock n roll etc#like a thing that Changes the timeline. and i was reading this essay about the new beatles song saying how we don't need a new beatles song#even though the new song's still cool it was kind of saying like everything nowadays is recycled and nothing is shocking anymore#like nostalgia is so big now. with all the film remakes and stuff like that. there is nooTHING NEWLY NEW. IDEK. I am rambling so much#just thinking about many things. this was sparked bc i listened to twilight by cover drive and it literally transported me back to year 7#and that led to early 10s nostalgia and by the time that comes back into fashion will the nostalgia problem be worse or will something have#happened within that time. like a new punk or something. tbf i guess a lot of what I'm talking about is to do with rock and i mean#there's rap and stuff which i don't listen to a lot of so idk maybe there's stuff going on there which i don't know about. but then#i want there to be something i Do know about. like something you can't escape. kids are all dressing like this and listening to this and#we WILL hear about it. new proper subculture that isn't just a week long tiktok trend. ykw i blame tiktok for all of this lol#but yeah. holy shit tag limit#ramble
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i'm grabbing y'all by the face and telling y'all that the alternate version of jorogumo is gonna be chiyo's mom and it's gonna be angsty as heck bc chiyo never got to know her mom and her mom never got to know her and : ))))) it's a very weird and uncomfy situation when they meet before it's actually kinda healing. but first i gotta brainstorm and develop her momma a lil more and find a fc... if anyone has suggestions, i'll take 'em uvu
#this has been bouncing around in my brain for a few days now and i'm putting it out there!!! so that i can get my butt in gear!!#i've felt so hesitant about expanding upon this au like this lately but putting that poll up really helped tbh#bc thus far the majority of y'all don't mind that i'm rambling about spiderverse stuff and that's very comforting#it's very easy to get too self-conscious about what you post and write when you aren't sure how others feel#especially when you're me and worry too much and think too much :' )#i might still move things to a sideblog for the sake of organization bc this au is growing way more than i imagined it would#i love!! figuring out stories and fleshing stuff out and to do that with chiyo of all characters??? dude i'm having a grand time#and i just very much from the bottom of my heart appreciate y'all for putting up with and humoring my sudden interest in spiderverse <3#now lemme stop rambling asdfg i need to touch base with more folks and start typing up a lil stats page for chiyo's mom#she was already wee bit fleshed out in my mind but obviously i gotta do more work since this au is gonna change her a bit :' )#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Your posts are in an AI model
and then Tumblr decided to sell them to AI models.
Now, don't get me wrong, tumblr selling out the users to AI companies is bad, yes, they shouldn't do that. It sucks.
but don't lets get this confused: your posts were already in there. Tumblr selling them is about tumblr making some money and about the AI models having more exhaustive post collections. It's not about your posts being in an AI model, vs not being in one. That battle has already been lost.
Can you find your post on google? Then it's almost certainly in an AI model already. Think about it: These AI sites showed up before all the sites were making deals to sell their users' content, right? How do you think they built them in the first place?
They scraped the posts. Just like google and bing and such do when they build their search indexes.
It's a fundamental part of how the open web works: you want your posts on tumblr to be visible to users, right? You want them to be readable?* Like, look how much stuff broke when twitter changed their whole read-while-not-logged-in policy, ruining a bunch of thread links/NSFW links. And if it's visible, it's scrapable. That's what the AI models were built on.
I've done website scraping before (not for AI models, of course. I was doing search engines and website archival), this is just how it works. You hire a few relatively smart CS graduates and tell them "build me a scraper that'll give us a bunch of tumblr posts" and they go off for a month or two and come back with a database of a few billion posts, and you stuff that into your AI model. That's how they got all the deviantart and flickr and twitter and pinterest and so on posts. They didn't pay for them: they just took them.
They only ever pay for this shit because either:
they fucked up in such a way that the site might be able to sue them for taking rather than paying
They can buy them cheaper than they can finish taking them. Maybe they'd need to pay the CS grads for an extra month? well, that might be more expensive than just throwing the site a couple hundred thousand bucks.
ANYWAY: my point is, don't treat this "oh no tumblr is selling our posts to AI" like it's a big thing that might happen and it would be bad to happen. Yes, it's bad, tumblr shouldn't do this, this'll let AI models get continual updates of content for far easier than just scraping them would be, tumblr betrayed user trust, and so on...
but realistically, this is not a black and white matter of "if only tumblr didn't do this, then we'd be safe from AI models!"
Nope. We already lost that battle. I'm sorry, and it does suck, but that's just how it is. The avalanche has already started, it's too late for the pebbles to vote. * I'm assuming here that you don't run a private blog that's set to only followers or something. You'd be safer then, of course, but you're not really my target audience for this rant
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clueless, kuroo tetsuro
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ kuroo tetsuro has a thing for girls with long hair. so what if you're a girl with long hair? that doesn’t mean anything!
➼ pairing! kuroo tetsuro x fem!manager!reader
➼ warnings! none, just fluff and humor. maybe ooc because i haven't written in years??? unfortunately, because this is based on the scene of kuroo and yaku arguing about their preference, this is really for my long haired girlies 😣 i apologize to the short haired readers
➼ word count! about 1.4k
➼ author’s note! "haikyuu renassiance!" we all cheer in unison. anywho, this is my first time posting in two years. please be nice to me 🫡
"So, you prefer girls with short hair then, Yaku?" Kai asks, shedding off the white button-up of his school uniform and revealing his black practice t-shirt. The three third-year Nekoma players had found themselves in an empty classroom, deciding to use it as a makeshift changing room. Luckily for them, they had all worn their clean practice clothes under their school uniforms. Doing so allowed them to save time and cut back the number of minutes they were already going to be late to practice, thanks to Yaku getting distracted by a group of girls, which Kai noted all had short hair. Hence, his question.
Yaku paused his work of ridding himself of his tie to send Kai a proud grin, pointing towards him with both hands, “Yesss!
"And you, Kuroo?" Kai turns to him, now curious to know his captain's answer as well.
"Long." Kuroo's answer is firm, leaving no room for debate. Still, he glances at Yaku, as if daring him to try.
Yaku only snorts, shaking his head in amusement as he too turns to look at his captain, "Like that wasn't obvious."
"Ehh," Kuroo's eyes narrow, head craning down to peer at the libero, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Yaku starts, taking a step closer as he peers right back up at Kuroo, "Everyone knows you have a crush on our manager, who just so happens to have the longest hair I've ever seen!"
"Ehh?" Kuroo repeats, louder this time as he cranes his head down even more, "Who says I have a crush—"
"Hey!" The door to the classroom slides open with a shocking force, startling the boys and drawing the attention of all three of them to it. Kuroo and Yaku both grow rigid as they find you standing in its opening. Quiet pants slip past your lips, and you take a moment to catch your breath as you stare at the three of them before you begin speaking, "There you guys are! I've been looking for the three of you everywhere."
"Hello," Kai greets kindly, the only one not left in a stupor at your sudden appearance, smiling as you make your way into the classroom. "We apologize, we're running a bit late."
"Yeah," You huff, coming to a stop a few steps away from them as you cross your arms, "It was your guys' turn to set up the nets. So when you guys didn't show up in time to do so and none of you answered your phones, Coach sent me to find you guys. Didn't know I'd be going on a wild goose chase."
Your words leave you in a huff before your eyes land on Kuroo, raising an eyebrow at the captain. His shoulders tense even more at the sudden eye contact and he's quick to snap his head in the other direction. Kuroo suddenly feels warm, realizing how you could have easily heard the conversation transpiring between the three of them. Stupid Yaku, Kuroo curses the libero in his head, doesn't even know what he's talking about.
"Sorry, Y/N." And of course it’s Yaku who disrupts his thoughts, pulling Kuroo's eyes to him just as he sends you an innocent smile, "We got carried away, talking."
There's a teasing tone to Yaku's voice, and Kuroo knows it's directed at him. Why is he friends with him again?
"I don't even want to know," You speak, and Kuroo can envision you shaking your head at the three of them, "Just get dressed and get to the gym as quick as possible, please."
All three boys give some noise of recognition in response to your words, and Kuroo takes the chance to glance at you then. He's quick to regret it. Your hand rises just as he locks eyes with you, reaching up to tuck some of the more unruly pieces of your hair (which most likely came undone due to your seemingly frantic search of the three third years) behind your ear and out of your face. Kuroo's eyes follow the movement of your hand, trailing downwards and taking in the long strands of hair that fall well past your shoulders. Once again all too aware of the conversation he was just having with his teammates, the tips of his ears burn as he pulls his gaze away from you once more. He shakes his head, trying to get Yaku's words out of his mind. Just because he liked girls with long hair, and just because you so happened to be a girl with long hair, did not mean he liked you.
Right?
A snort of laughter suddenly leaves Yaku, having caught the interaction, and Kuroo turns to him with a heated glare. You don't miss the exchange between them either.
"Are you two having one of your petty arguments again?" You accuse, eyes glancing between Kuroo and Yaku who are suddenly staring back at you like two deers caught in headlights. "Seriously, you've been fighting like this since first year. What topic could you guys possibly still be discussing?"
Yaku's smirk returns as he glances at his captain with an all too knowing look before he turns back to you, "Well, if you really want to kn—"
"Nope!" Kuroo is quick to interject, speaking for the first time since you entered and drawing your attention away from Yaku and back to the captain himself. Your eyes widen as he begins to take long strides in your direction. "No arguing here!"
Your lips part, confusion taking over your features at the odd behavior your captain is displaying. You don't get the chance to say anything, however, as Kuroo makes a show of glancing at the clock on the wall before turning back to you with a dramatic gasp, "Oh, would you look at the time! We should really be heading to practice."
"You still have your school shirt on, Kuroo.” You point out when he stops in front of you, pointedly glancing down at Kuroo's attire, which consisted of his practice shorts and white button-up, with his red school tie hung loosely around his neck.
"I'll just change it once we're in the gym," Kuroo responds, waving away your interjections before he drops his hands onto your shoulders and forces you to turn around and back toward the door. You attempt to dig your heels down when he begins to push you in the direction of the door, but you're truly no match for his strength. Stupid volleyball training.
"Kuroo," You voice your protests, attempting to swat at his hands in order to get him to release you. Once again, your attempts remain futile, "Let go of me!"
"No can do! As captain and manager, it's our job to be on time to every practice. What would our team do without us?" Kuroo shakes his head, clicking his tongue as if he's scolding you. He turns back to Kai and Yaku, flashing them a warning smile, daring them to say another word. Yaku merely watches on with an unamused look, while Kai holds a placid smile. There's extra sweetness in his voice as he practically chirps out, "Bring my stuff to the club room, will you?"
"I was on time!" You retort, not giving Kai nor Yaku a chance to respond to their exasperating captain as you send them a pointed look, all the while succumbing to your fate and allowing Kuroo to push you out of the classroom. After all, he did have a point. It probably wouldn't be long before Lev managed to push somebody's buttons (most likely Yamamoto’s) one too many times and ended up in hot water. "The only reason I'm not there right now is because I came looking for you guys!"
"Ah, now is not the time to deal blame, Y/N. Our juniors are waiting on us." Kuroo argues back, shaking his head as he removes one hand from your shoulder to slide the door shut behind the two of you. Still, Yaku and Kai face the door as the sound of your guys' bickering persists. It grows quieter and quieter with each passing moment, and it isn’t until they can no longer hear your guys' voices does Yaku glance away with a shake of his head.
"He's clueless." Yaku deadpans, glancing back down at his tie as he continues to work on untying it.
Kai nods, neatly folding his button-up before placing it in his bag. "Completely."
#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#kuroo fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu imagines#hq x reader
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love thy neighbour
joel masterlist | read on ao3
pairing: joel miller x f!reader summary: you visit your parents for the holidays, and their new neighbour joel miller makes the trip far more exciting. word count: 3,6k warnings: 18+ only, reader is able-bodied & wears a skirt, food & alcohol consumption, christmas & new year celebrations, unspecified age gap, joel gets a sneak peak, smut, fingering, unprotected p in v, spanking, creampie hallelujah, come eating, dirty talk, praise kink a/n: MERRY VERY LATE SECRET SANTA EM @hellfire-state-of-mind !!!! this is over a month late and i've never felt more guilty about something in my life. ilsm you are a GEM! i hope this makes you twirl your hair and kick your feet and melt into a puddle, as you requested. 💛 this is the first fic i’ve managed to finish since SEPTEMBER and idk i’m just proud of myself, times are tough. 🫡 not beta'd
The neighbourhood has hardly changed since your last visit — no fresh coats of paint, no new landscaping, no new drama. The one thing that has changed, is a new face that’s moved in across the street from your parents. He waved to you the first time you passed each other, flashed a contagious smile and a cheeky wink as he collected his post and headed back inside his own home. You’ve been hooked since then.
Your childhood bedroom has a wide window that faces the street, with a clear view of the front of his house. Whether arriving home or leaving, or simply standing talking to someone, you always admired him. You made a habit of going out too — sometimes for no real reason — on the off chance you’d get a closer look at him.
He caught you staring one day as you dared to walk on his side of the street and met him in his driveway — brown tangled curls laced with silver, broad shoulders and arms that filled out his sleeves — you shot your eyes up before you could look any lower, a small smirk and knowing look on his face as he turned around to walk away. He hasn’t given you his name and you haven’t been bold enough to ask. You still stare, just not when he’s looking.
-
Your parents told you the house would be quiet this Christmas, with no extended family or friends — just the three of you spending some quality time together while you’re visiting for the holidays.
It's mid-Christmas morning and you’ve exchanged presents with your parents, with plenty of smiles, hugs and thanks. Your mom sets the table and your dad checks on the food while you get ready for lunch, still wanting to dress nice for the occasion. You hear the doorbell ring through your door, followed by muffled voices. Satisfied with your appearance, you head for the living room, a deep and unfamiliar voice becoming clearer as you enter the room.
There he is — the hot and mysterious neighbour you’ve been drooling over from across the road.
Your mom turns to you as you stand, fiddling with your clothes and unsure how to act.
“Oh, you’re finished! This is Joel, have you met already?”
“No, haven’t had the pleasure,” Joel cuts in and answers for you, standing before you with an outstretched hand. You take it, his hand dwarfing yours, calloused fingers rough against your palm.
“He’s on his own for Christmas, so I invited him to join us.” Your mom smiles at you. “It’s only us three, there’s plenty of food and Christmas cheer to go around!” She claps her hands together, waltzing away to the table.
Joel gives you that same cheeky wink and smile you’ve seen before, but up close it has a much stronger effect than you were prepared for — it’s going to be a long day.
-
Everyone sticks to the usual mundane topics of the weather and traffic and the best fertiliser to use for the lawn. You don’t say too much through lunch, distracted by Joel’s voice and charm and the occasional smouldering look he throws you. Every time you glance at him, he’s already staring at you.
When your parents get up to clear the table once everyone’s well-fed, you jump up instead and volunteer — if you have to watch Joel any longer you might just jump at him across the table, to hell with your parents. His eyes follow you over their shoulders as you leave the room, plates in hand. You look back to the table one last time, catching his eye as he smirks and takes a swig of his drink.
You start to rinse off the plates and put leftovers into containers, laughter and quiet chatter sounding from the dining room. Joel wanders into the kitchen and sets his glass down, leaning against the counter next to you and looking around the room.
“So, uh,” you clear your throat, awkwardly trying to make conversation and avoid embarrassing yourself. “When did you move here?”
“Couple months ago, nice neighbourhood… even better now, though.” You can see him grinning in your peripheral vision.
“Are you coming to my parents’ New Year’s Eve party?”
“I am, why? You lookin’ for your midnight kiss?” he teases.
“I have plans already,” you scoff at him, “I actually wanna have fun on New Year’s, thank you.”
“Suit yourself,” he falls silent and angles himself closer to you. “You make the dessert?”
“Mhm.”
“Nice ‘n sweet.” He grabs the dessert bowl from your hands and drags two fingers along the inside.
You watch him, your lips parting as he sucks his fingers into his mouth and licks them clean. What would it feel like if those were your fingers instead? Or, better yet, if he shoved his fingers into your mouth?
He pulls his fingers out and opens his mouth to say something more, but he’s interrupted by your parents as they enter the room. He shoots you his signature wink before giving them his attention, and that’s the last you see of him.
-
The week after Christmas flashes by.
You bailed on your original plans of partying with your friends, coughing up a poor excuse why you couldn't go out with them anymore — with Joel coming to your parents' house again, it’s the first time in years you're willing to spend the otherwise boring last night of the year at home. Maybe you’re foolish for lusting after him, but that’s what New Year’s is for.
After spending the afternoon plating snacks, chilling drinks and fluffing pillows, you now pace in your room, deciding what to wear tonight. Your pre-picked club outfit is far too disrespectful for the new company you’ll be in tonight, but maybe you could make parts of it work…
You ditch the stockings and swap out the heels for flats. Your skirt stops mid-thigh once you make some adjustments, and change your risque top for a more neighbour-friendly one with ties in the front — if you look hard enough you can still spot your bra peeking through the gaps, but nobody here tonight should be doing that anyways. Except for Joel, maybe. You make sure it’s a decent bra in case he does. After all the effort you’ve gone through, you hope he does.
Hijacking the aux as soon as you come out into the living room again — you do not trust your dad’s music choices — you sit pretty with a drink in hand as everyone from up and down the street starts arriving.
You’re cornered by The Nosy Old Couple, getting grilled about jobs, partners and general life choices when Joel walks in. He looks around the room as your parents greet him, eyes finding yours as you try signalling him to rescue you. He simply smirks before turning and walking away — that bastard.
-
Joel watches you the whole night. He really shouldn’t — the neighbour's daughter, definitely too pretty and likely too young — but he can't find it in himself to care. What's the harm in a bit of holiday fun?
He could have saved you from that gruelling conversation, but then he’d have to let you go sooner. And it would look rude, strange, even, to tell your father, thanks for the welcome, but I’d rather spend the night chattin’ up your daughter.
So he settles for watching, for now at least.
The shift from a forced smile to a genuine one, your shoulders relaxing as you get yourself another drink and keep yourself in decent company. His eyes roam now, and he allows himself to stare while in your calm state, the same way you’ve always stared at him from across the street.
The way your lips part and slide over the rim of your glass, the delicate grip of your fingers, the hint of lacy fabric in the gaps in your top. Your almost-too-short skirt and how it hikes up when you cross your legs. Would you let him pull the ties loose and watch it fall open? Glide his hands up your legs and underneath your skirt?
You stand and laugh at someone's joke, reaching for your things. Something falls out of your grasp and you bend over to pick it up, your panties peeking out from underneath your skirt, just for him to see. His jeans tighten just so, the air in the room heating up as he clears his throat. He should look away, but he keeps staring, his own lips parting now as he imagines what’s beneath that fabric.
You turn around and catch his eye, all unassuming and innocent. He wonders if you know what you’ve done. You walk towards him, maintaining that look, and it’s evident you’re unaware. He’ll make sure to tell you.
-
Most of the night has passed already, and you finally get to talk to Joel.
“So much for those plans you had for tonight.” He leans towards you as people push past behind him, raising his voice above the music.
“Oh, uh, my friends cancelled, so…”
“Still hopin’ for a night of fun?”
“Are you offering?”
He downs the rest of his drink, jaw ticked to one side as he stares you down. He dips to speak in your ear, “You should be careful next time you’re bendin’ over in this little skirt of yours, sweetheart… I could see those pretty panties from a mile away.”
You step back from him, mouth agape at his admission — he just smirks at you, his eyes darkening. You hoped Joel would look at you tonight, but it was a long shot. You're deciding what to say when everyone gathers in the lounge — your dad’s put a countdown on the TV, and it’s a minute before midnight. You pull Joel into the hallway, away from the crowd and out of sight.
“So, you gonna kiss me at midnight or not?” You spin to face him, leaning against the wall with a naughty smile.
“I reckon your parents won't be too pleased havin’ their daughter kissin’ an old man like me.” He stands firm, arms folded across his chest.
“Well, they wouldn’t be too happy having an old man like you looking up my skirt…” You trail off, distracted by his arms.
“You’re the dirty girl bendin’ over and flashin’ her panties. Would you have wanted me to look away?”
He unfolds his arms and grabs the back of your neck, pulling you to meet him as he leans to kiss you, his beard and moustache scratching against your skin and you reach up to hold his arms. It’s rushed and desperate and over before you can take in what’s happened, but god you need it to happen again.
He looks around at everyone cheering, hugging each other and topping up their drinks. He grabs your wrist and pulls you through the house without a word.
-
Joel sneaks you out of the house and drags you across the street towards his own. Your eyes linger on his shoulders and back as he unlocks his door. He turns a lamp on once inside and closes the door behind you both, pinning you against it.
“What are you doing?” You ask lazily, taking in his features in such close proximity.
“Givin’ you that night of fun you were wantin’.”
He kisses you again, licking into your mouth and taking his time now as he runs his hands down your body, lifting your skirt to bunch it around your waist. He pushes one hand down between your legs to cup you over your panties and you grind into him — subtly at first, but it’s enough for him to notice and he smiles against you.
“That needy already, huh?” He says lowly, huffing a laugh when you whimper quietly. “Don’t gotta be quiet, sweetheart. Why you think I dragged you here? Ain’t gonna be much fun if I can’t hear how good I make ya feel.”
He spins you around and walks you towards his couch, backing you into the armrest. He pulls the ties on your top and drops it to the floor, fixated on the lace now in full view. He squeezes your breasts, fingers tweaking your nipples through the fabric as he looks up at you again.
“You wear this lacy number every day? Or just on special occasions?”
“Mm-mm,” you shake your head, lips parted as he keeps working his fingers, “I wore it just for tonight, for you… in case you noticed it.”
“Oh, I noticed alright,” he chuckles.
His fingers slow down and his hands begin to roam again. You take the reprieve to lift his shirt over his head and drift your hands down his bare chest. You stare at his broad shoulders and torso, almost in awe, as you reach for his belt buckle and undo it. It clinks against the floor, and you make quick work of his jeans, popping the button and undoing the zip. He dips down to kiss you, his hands bumping into yours as he pulls his jeans down and off.
It was mostly a joke when you said you wanted a night of fun — you never expected something like this to happen.
Joel kisses you again, inching along your jaw and down your neck while his hands continue their blind exploration of your skin, caressing and groping and digging into any part of you he gets ahold of. You reach to palm his bulge through his underwear, hard and heavy as heat radiates off of him through the worn fabric.
He shucks your skirt down and off, leaving it in the same growing pile of clothes, his fingers zeroing in on your covered clit. You moan at his movements and he lifts off of you to take in the sight.
He grabs your waist to turn you around, holding you flush to him as he gropes your breasts and grinds into you. You push back against him, a fresh wave of arousal soaking into your panties, his hot breath fanning against the shell of your ear.
“You ready for that fun?”
“Please, Joel,” you whine.
“S’what I like to hear.”
He pushes you down over the arm of the couch, chest flush with the cushions and ass up in the air. He rubs his fingers up and down over the damp gusset of your panties and pulls them down, leaving them hanging around your knees. Now with no barrier, he traces a single finger through your folds, already sticky with need and prods your entrance before repeating the motion.
“Even prettier than that little preview you gave me, she’s soaked for me already.”
His breathing sounds laboured behind you, and you turn as best you can to watch him, eyes falling on his hand as he strokes himself, thick and throbbing.
“This what you wanted? This what you still want?”
You smile almost drunkardly at him, huffing a laugh as you nod, facing forward to rest your head on the couch again.
“Remember, I wanna hear all those noises you can make — dirty girl like you, I’m sure you sound gorgeous.”
He replaces his finger with the head of his cock, dragging himself against you and coating the length of him in your wetness. He slips in slowly, his hands in a bruising grip on your hips as he pulls out only to push in even further. The music from your parents’ party fades from your mind when he finally bottoms out; Joel sighs and you groan as he holds your ass flush against his hips. He stays there, grinding into you and never pulling back.
“Jesus, feels like heaven…”
All you do is whine in response — partly unsure if he wanted a response, and partly unable to say anything else — overwhelmed by Joel and finally getting what you’ve been dreaming of since you first laid eyes on him.
“How you want this, sweetheart?”
A moment passes and he smacks your ass when you don’t answer him. He leans over you, letting his body weight push you deeper into the couch cushions, pushing his cock deeper into you in the process.
“Cause this is how I see it… Your little friends didn’t cancel your plans, did they? They’re all still goin’ out on the town tonight and doing God knows what and fuckin’ anything with a pulse. But you backed out, thought maybe you’d stay home 'cause if there’s anyone you’re gonna fuck tonight, it’s me. Ain’t that right?”
You’re silent again, both annoyed that he has you figured out and relishing that he's on top of you like this.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He lifts himself off you and pulls almost all the way out, leaving just his tip inside your cunt. “Be good and I’ll give ya a real fun story for your friends.”
He spanks you again, giving you no time to react as he snaps his hips into you. You screw your face up at the stretch as he does it again and sets a steady rhythm, the room filled with gasps and grunts and heavy breathing. He smacks you a third time and you moan, loud and unabashedly and you hear Joel chuckling behind you.
“That’s it, good girl. Wanna hear you, sweetheart, hear how good I’m makin’ you feel.”
He’s reaching a spot nobody else has before — undoubtedly the most experienced man with the biggest dick you’ve ever seen — and you know your back is going to be fucked in the morning from how he’s got you draped over his couch, your hips will be tender for days with how tight he’s holding you, and you might not walk straight for a week, but God are you glad you bailed on those original plans.
As heavenly as it is already, you still need just that little bit more. Joel’s already clocked you once, and he’s done it again as he wraps an arm around your torso to pull you up again, his pace never faltering as he presses his chest to your back. The new angle has you seeing stars, and he pushes his free hand down to circle your clit.
“You hear that? Hear how wet you are? God, if I’d known you were gonna take my cock so well I woulda fucked you on Christmas… maybe even before that. You think anyone’s wonderin’ where we are? Anyone smart enough to put the pieces together?”
You clench around him at his lewd confessions and beg him to keep going, so close to reaching your end.
“You gonna come on my cock for me?” He breathes against you, his thrusts becoming clumsier the longer he goes on. “Come on, sweetheart, know you want to. Been such a good girl, lettin’ me fuck this sweet pussy.”
A few thrusts and swipes of his fingers over your clit later and you're tightening around him, head thudding against him as you reach up to grab the arm that’s wound around your chest. Your nails carve crescent moons in his skin and you yell out, and he keeps pistoning into you through your orgasm to chase his own.
His filthy words turn into mere ramblings, muffled when he lowers his face to drag his lips against your skin and breathe you in, tightening his arms around you. His breathing heavy, small moans turn into grunts and groans as he fucks into you one last time, holding you in place as he empties himself inside of you, warm and filling.
He keeps you there, both of you panting for air as you come down and he pulls out with a hiss. He turns you around to face him — you’re still dazed when he leans to kiss you, calm and kind as he cradles your cheeks.
His hands wander down your body and he follows suit, coasting his lips down over your bra between your breasts, over your stomach until he’s crouching in front of you. He peers up at you, pupils still blown wide as he thumbs your folds apart, captivated by how his spend seeps out of you. His tongue darts out, eyes fluttering closed as he tastes himself and licks you clean.
He stands now and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, pulling your panties up and straightening the elastic. His fingers linger on your skin before reaching to do the same with your skirt. He does up his jeans and shakes out his t-shirt, his gaze staying on you while you ensure the gaps in your top are no bigger than when you snuck away from home.
“Maybe we should, uh, get back…” You trail off, boldness quickly fading as you start to second-guess tonight.
“Yeah, yeah,” he nods, opening the front door. “So, when you comin’ round again?”
“Huh?”
“What, you really wanna sneak around your parent’s house instead?”
“No! God, no,” you laugh, shoulders relaxing and Joel smiles at you. “I just wasn’t sure if… I don’t want to sound overeager or anything…” “Nothin’ wrong with that, sweetheart. Besides, I know what I’m doin’ next time.” He winks at you, glancing across the street in thought. The party still seems to be going strong. “Night doesn’t have to end right now, anyways.”
He ushers you out the door with a smack to your ass, leaving you giddy and giggling as he locks his door again. You both head back towards the party, bumping into each other as you walk. You smile at Joel and he winks at you one last time before you crack open the door, excited about what the rest of your time here might hold.
np taglist for some pookies who showed interest:
@almostempty @joelmillerisapunk @djarins-cyare @burntheedges @milla-frenchy
@604to647 @evolnoomym @beefrobeefcal @whocaresstillthelouvre @bitchesuntitled
@sizzlingcloudmentality @sixhours @strang3lov3 @guiltyasdave @morallyinept
@mermaidgirl30 @bbyanarchist @vichons @angiewatson @professionalpromqueen
@lordhurn @pidgeispunk @letsgobarbs
comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜
dividers by @strangergraphics
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✨ my all time favourites BTS fics ✨

⟶ soo i've been really wanting to do this for a while already but i didn't really have the time to do it… soo here you have all the fics that I deeply loved & that i sometimes still read again 🫶🏼those fics are really amazing & thanks a lot to the writers for those masterpieces! 💞
sweet | ksj @oddinary4bts
⤷ Drabble of idol Jin coming back from the military and trying to sort out his situationship with the girl he left behind when he went into the military
idol!au, a bit of angst, fluff and smut
meraki | jjk @taegularities
⤷ Jungkook finds you irritating; far too energetic and insistent. But his perception of you changes bit by bit, minute by minute, when he's persuaded into spending an entire night with you at places he doesn't know.
e2l, grumpy!jk (+ photographer!jk) x sunshine!reader; fluff, smut
motherfuckin' train wreck | jjk @lovieku
⤷ when renowned fuckboy jeon jeongguk catches feelings, he loses his mind. only when it comes to you, though.
fwb au
new guy | knj @kithtaehyung
⤷ all you want to do is have a successful meeting after experiencing dwindling attendance, but the new guy is completing disrupting things... or is he?
smut ; university au ; enemies to lovers?
into it | pjm @xpeachesncream
⤷ helping your bestfriend out with his research project happens to come with more than what you bargained for.
grad school au, idiots to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, angst, smut
bands | jjk @xpeachesncream
⤷ jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.
strip club/nightlife au, post grad au, fluff, angst, smut
lowkey | jjk @xpeachesncream
⤷ in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.
college au, fake dating au, friends to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut
saudade | kth @chateautae
⤷ a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it’s time to find out why.
angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au
100 km/hour | pjm @chateautae
⤷ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he’s dressed as an angel, and you’re in the sluttiest devil costume ever?
college!au, smut, pwp
fine line | jjk @soobibabe
⤷ Y/N, a 28-year-old dreamer whose plans for marriage and motherhood crumbled when her fiancé, Jae-on, decided to "see other people," leaving her adrift in a sea of unfulfilled expectations. Just as she’s about to face the cringe of attending his baby shower with his new girlfriend, her best friend Jungkook swoops in with a wild idea; why not embark on a platonic co-parenting adventure together?
romance
hazy hours | myg @borathae
⤷ part of the kinkoctober 2024
new relationship!AU, Idol!Yoongi
fxck a fxckboy | myg @yoongifis
⤷ where you sort of hooked up with one of the school’s biggest fuckboys but end up leaving him hanging and never contacting him because…well…why not? somehow the universe brought you two together and now you’re left with dealing with him because he apparently caught feelings for you.
smut, pwp
before we shatter | jjk @caramelkoo
⤷ dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.
established relationship, idol!jungkook
warm nighs & clear lines | jjk @awrkive
⤷ there haven't been a lot of people who have come into your life that became important to you – and you didn’t expect jeon jungkook to be one if it – not at all. but what started as a casual relationship turned into more than that, and now you find yourself deeply in love with him – and happily so.
or; your first "i love you" comes out completely wrong.
SMUT, fluff
all your fault | jhs @minisugakoobies
⤷ It’s all Hobi’s fault!
smut, drabble, PWP, established relationship, non-Idol!AU
muscle memory | knj @taegularities
⤷ the weather outside might be trying to chill you to your bones, but watching Namjoon's seething hot presence work out is enough to melt every little piece of you - and he sees the longing in your eyes all too soon.
establish relationship; some fluff, mostly smut
magic stick | jjk @badbtssmut
⤷ Jungkook is kinda sad because he has never been with a girl who could take him balls deep because of his size, reader doesn't believe him and she wants to see, but he tells her that he can't atm bc he's not hard. She is wearing this kinda halter top style with no bra so she looses the top and shows her tits to him and let's him touch them. After he's hard he shows her his dick and she says she's willing to try to take it all and she rides him into the sunset
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who put off remaking their bed until just now when they want to go to bed? me. who has just discovered that a whole set of sheets have gone missing somewhere in the laundry cycle in the middle of remaking their bed? also me. who is having an autistic moment abt it? wouldn't you know it, me.
#my post#fuck off lou#im so normal and functional and a productive valuable member of society#i can be trusted to run my own life and not fuck it up monumentally i stg#it's always “baby what that tism do” until im sitting on my floor all weepy bc i cant find my top sheet or my pillow cases#and i've already put on the fitted sheet so it's too late to change courses and substitute in my third set#i am looking up out of the hole i have dug myself and i am realising it's taller than me (not hard)#going to vomit on the floor i'm so upset
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WHITE CHRISTMAS — p. bueckers

pairing: paige bueckers x gf!reader
synopsis: paige invites reader and former teammate—who doesn’t usually celebrate—to celebrate christmas with her family as her girlfriend.
warnings: reader doesn’t celebrate christmas. nonexistent family dynamics mentioned briefly. fluffy ass shit.
word counts: 3677
note: honestly i wrote this for everyone, but mostly for those who may not celebrate and still want to feel included in some way, since ik it can be hard to relate to the whole thing. (divider credits: dollywons)
The glow of the late afternoon sun streamed through the windows of your cozy apartment in Storrs, casting long, golden beams across the living room floor. A faint chill lingered in the air despite the heater's best efforts, and you found yourself wrapped in a thick throw blanket, idly scrolling on your phone while waiting for Paige to come home from practice.
The sound of her keys jangling at the door pulled you from your reverie. A smile tugged at your lips as she stepped inside, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold. Her blond hair, still damp from the post-practice shower, clung to the edges of her knit beanie, and her usual oversized UConn hoodie dwarfed her frame. She looked like the embodiment of comfort and home, and as always, the sight of her brought an instant warmth to your chest.
"Hey, mama," she greeted you with a cocky smirk, dropping her duffel bag by the door and kicking off her sneakers. "Miss me?"
"A little," you replied, already opening your arms as she padded over to the couch. She fell into your embrace, settling against you with an exaggerated sigh, and you pressed a kiss to her temple.
For a moment, the two of you just sat there, wrapped up in the quiet kind of love that didn’t need words. It was moments like these that reminded you how much your life had changed since you met Paige. She had made you feel things you never thought you could—security, belonging, and, most of all, an unwavering sense of being loved.
But then she shifted slightly, pulling away just enough to look at you, and you caught that glimmer of hesitation in her eyes. It was subtle, but you had been with Paige long enough to know when she was mulling something over.
"What's on your mind?" you asked softly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
She hesitated, biting her bottom lip before exhaling a short laugh. "Okay, so, I've been thinking about something..."
Your brow arched, curiosity piqued. "That doesn’t sound ominous at all."
Paige rolled her eyes, though her smile remained. "No, it’s nothing bad. Just—well, Christmas is coming up, and I was wondering..." She paused again, glancing down at where her hands were now fiddling with the hem of her hoodie. "Would you want to come home with me this year? To Minnesota? To celebrate with my family?"
You blinked, her words settling heavily in the air between you. Of all the things you thought she might say, this wasn’t even on the list.
"Your family?" you repeated, as if you hadn’t heard her right.
She nodded, her gaze lifting to meet yours. "Yeah. I mean, you’ve met some of them before, but not like this. Not as my girlfriend." She gave you a gummy smile, scratching the back of her neck, and it was rare to see her this nervous around you. "I just thought... you know, since you don’t usually celebrate Christmas and you don’t have any family around... maybe you could join us. I want you to be there. With me."
Her words were earnest, but they left you momentarily speechless. Your mind raced, a whirlwind of thoughts and doubts tangling together in a way that made it hard to focus.
What if they didn’t like you? What if you said the wrong thing or did something awkward? You’d never had the kind of big, supportive family Paige talked about so fondly. What if you just didn’t... fit?
You realized you’d been silent too long when Paige gently nudged your arm. "Hey," she said softly, her tone laced with concern. "You don’t have to say yes. I don’t want to pressure you or anything. I just thought... I’d ask."
"Are you sure?" you managed to say, your voice quieter than you intended. "I mean, are you sure you want me there? It’s your family’s Christmas. It’s... important."
Paige’s brows knit together, and she reached out to take your hand, lacing her fingers with yours. "I’m absolutely sure, baby. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t. You’re important to me, and I want you to be a part of this. I want you to see what Christmas is like with my family—our traditions, the chaos, all of it. I want to share it with you."
Her words were a balm to your fraying nerves, and for a moment, you just stared at her, taking in the sincerity etched across her face.
"Okay," you finally said, the word slipping out before you could overthink it. "I’ll go."
Paige’s face lit up instantly, her smile wide and genuine. "Really?"
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the lingering nerves. "Really. I mean, I’m probably going to embarrass myself at least five times, but I’ll go."
She laughed, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. "You’ll be perfect," she murmured against your mouth. "And even if you’re not, I’ll love you anyway."
You chuckled, wrapping your arms around her and pulling her close. "I guess I’ll have to trust you on that."
And as Paige melted into your embrace, her excitement already bubbling over as she started rambling about how much her family would love you, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of something new in your chest.
The flight to Minnesota had been smooth, though the hum of anticipation in the air made the hours feel like they dragged on forever. Paige had insisted on sitting by the window, claiming it was her spot for every flight she’d ever taken, and you’d let her, settling in beside her while she pressed her forehead against the glass and pointed out things she thought looked cool from the sky.
“See that?” she’d said, her voice light and teasing as she gestured toward a cluster of houses dusted with snow. “That’s the exact size of the town you’ll move to when you retire from the league.”
“Wow, so you’re planning my entire life now?” you’d quipped, earning yourself a playful elbow to the side and that cocky grin of hers that you couldn’t help but adore.
“Our life.” The blonde casually corrected.
By the time you landed and grabbed your bags, the cold Minnesota air greeted you like a slap to the face. Paige, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed, even as you shivered despite the heavy coat you’d packed.
“Not a fan of the cold, huh?” she asked, her tone dripping with amusement as she effortlessly swung her duffel bag over one shoulder.
“It’s fucking freezing,” you muttered through gritted teeth.
“You’ll survive, princess.” she said with a smirk, leaning over to press a quick kiss to your temple. “Besides, I’ll keep you warm.”
You rolled your eyes, but the words made your heart flutter all the same.
The drive to her family home was short, but every minute seemed longer as you sat beside Paige, nerves bubbling beneath the surface. She was chatting about something—probably basketball or some ridiculous story about her brother—but you could barely focus. All you could think about was what awaited you: her family.
You’d met some of Paige’s family before—her dad, her stepmom, and her little brother Drew. Drew, in particular, had taken to you almost instantly, which Paige always liked to tease you about, claiming he liked you more than he liked her. But this time, it wasn’t just about meeting her family as her friend or teammate. This was the first Christmas where you’d be introduced as her girlfriend.
The weight of that reality settled in your chest as Paige drove the rented car, humming along to a playlist she’d thrown together, her hand resting casually on the gear shift.
“You’re quiet,” she said after a while, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye.
You shook your head, offering a small smile. “Just… thinking.”
“Thinking about how I’m the best girlfriend ever?” she teased, her lips twitching into a smirk. “Because if not, that’s a missed opportunity.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the grin that tugged at your mouth. “More like wondering if your family’s gonna like me as much when they know we’re dating.”
Paige scoffed, her confidence radiating as she gave a dismissive wave. “You’re kidding, right? They already love you. Drew’s basically ready to ditch me and make you his new sister.”
“That’s different,” you countered, your voice softer now. “It’s one thing to like me as your friend or teammate. It’s another to know I’m… with you.”
Paige slowed the car slightly as she reached for your hand, her fingers threading through yours. Her thumb brushed against your skin, grounding you.
“Listen,” she said, her voice calm but firm. “They’re gonna love you no matter what. And if they don’t? Screw ’em. But I’m telling you—they will. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” She lifted your hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss on the cold skin.
Her words worked their magic, easing some of the tension in your chest. You nodded, squeezing her hand in thanks.
“Plus,” she added with a sly grin, “if anyone tries to give you a hard time, just remind them you’re a pro baller while I’m still a college kid. Instant power move.”
You laughed despite yourself, shaking your head. Paige always had a way of making even the most stressful situations feel manageable.
When you pulled into the familiar driveway, the house was exactly how you remembered it: warm, inviting, and buzzing with life. Snow blanketed the yard, and the glow of Christmas lights framed the windows like a postcard.
Paige barely parked the car before Drew came bounding out of the front door, his grin wide as ever.
“Finally!” he shouted, jogging over to your side of the car. “You guys took forever. I was about to send a search party.”
Paige rolled her eyes as she stepped out, slinging her duffel bag over her shoulder. “Relax, we’re here now.”
You barely had time to grab your bag before Drew was pulling you into a tight hug, his excitement palpable.
“I missed you!” he said, his voice muffled slightly against your jacket.
“Missed you too, buddy,” you replied with a laugh, ruffling his hair.
Paige stood off to the side, hands on her hips as she watched the interaction with a mock scowl. “Unbelievable. I leave for, like, five months, and he acts like you’re the sister he hasn’t seen.”
Drew shot her a cheeky grin. “She’s way cooler and nicer than you.”
“Okay. Just forget everything I’ve done for you, i guess,” Paige deadpanned, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her amusement.
Inside, Paige’s dad and stepmom greeted you both warmly, the familiarity of it all calming your nerves. Her dad gave you a firm side-hug and a pat on the shoulder, while her stepmom hugged you tightly, telling you how good it was to see you again.
“It’s been too long,” she said, stepping back to look at you. “Paige hasn’t been hogging all your time, has she?”
“Just a little.” you replied, your voice light as you glanced at Paige, who was smirking.
“Good,” her stepmom said with a wink. “Well, make yourselves at home. There’s plenty of food, and Drew’s been asking about you nonstop.”
“Obviously,” Paige muttered, earning a playful shove from her brother as he led you both into the living room.
By mid-afternoon, the house was buzzing even more than before. Paige’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and a handful of cousins started arriving, bringing with them an abundance of chatter, hugs, and bags full of gifts. You’d barely caught your breath from Drew’s relentless teasing and jokes when you were swept into a whirlwind of introductions.
Paige, ever the calm and collected one, had one arm draped over your shoulder as she led you through the crowd. Her confidence was a lifeline, her voice steady as she introduced you to each family member.
“This is my girlfriend,” she said, her tone casual but filled with quiet pride.
The word girlfriend made your stomach flip every time, but you kept your smile steady, offering polite handshakes and warm greetings.
Her grandparents, a kind and slightly mischievous older couple, were the most memorable. Her grandmother immediately pulled you into a hug, whispering, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“All good things, I hope,” you replied with a soft chuckle.
“Mostly,” her grandfather teased, shooting Paige a wink.
“Grandpa,” Paige warned, though her tone was light.
“Relax, kid,” he said, patting her on the back. “You’ve got good taste. We approve.”
Paige smirked, her hand squeezing your shoulder as if to say, See? Told you.
When dinner rolled around, you were starting to feel more at ease. The dining room was packed, the long table barely able to accommodate everyone. You found yourself seated between Paige and Drew, with her cousins spread out on the other side.
Throughout the meal, Paige stayed close, her hand occasionally brushing against yours under the table. At one point, when you thought no one was looking, she leaned in to whisper in your ear. “You look so beautiful right now. Makes me wanna eat you, instead of the food.”
“You’re really leaning into this whole domestic girlfriend role, huh?” you teased, glancing at her.
“Gotta keep you impressed somehow,” she shot back, her eyes glinting with flirtatious amusement.
Her cousins caught the exchange, one of them groaning dramatically. “Can you two not be so cute? Some of us are single and bitter.”
Paige snorted, tossing a bread roll at them with pinpoint accuracy. “Not my fault you can’t pull.”
The laughter and chaotic banter that followed was enough to make your chest feel a little lighter.
After dinner, the family transitioned into games, with Drew and Paige’s cousins dominating the living room for an intense round of charades. Paige dragged you into it despite your protests, her competitive streak flaring up once again.
When it was her turn to act out a movie, she took your hand and pulled you to the center of the room with her.
“You’re my partner,” she declared confidently, ignoring the groans from everyone else.
The two of you worked seamlessly, your dynamic so natural that you guessed “Home Alone” within seconds of her miming setting traps. The room erupted in groans and applause, Drew shouting, “Unfair advantage!”
“What can I say?” Paige said, pulling you close by the hips. “We’re a dream team.”
You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in her gaze made your heart skip a beat.
Later, after the games had ended and most of the family had settled into conversations or dozed off in various corners of the house, you and Paige snuck away to the kitchen for some peace.
The house was still warm and lively, but here in the quiet glow of the fairy lights wrapped around the window, it felt like your own little world.
Paige leaned against the counter, a cup of hot cocoa in her hands. You stood beside her, the hum of distant laughter and chatter wrapping around you like a blanket.
“You holding up okay?” she asked, her voice softer now. Void of any teasing and her usual smirk, that you swore could be heard.
You nodded, turning to face her fully. “Your family’s amazing. Overwhelming, but amazing.”
She smiled, setting her cup down to close the distance between you. Her hands found your waist, her thumbs brushing over the fabric of the sweater her dad had given you. It only made you feel part of her family even more.
“They love you,” she said simply. “I told you they would.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re always right,” you teased, your hands resting on her shoulders.
She smirked, her confidence returning in full force. “Don’t forget it.”
You laughed, but it faded into something softer as she leaned in, her forehead resting against yours.
“Merry Christmas, Ma.” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Merry Christmas, P.” you replied, your heart swelling as she kissed you, slow and sweet, under the soft glow of the lights.
For the first time in a long time, you felt like you belonged. And as Paige’s arms wrapped around you tighter, holding you impossibly close, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.
You stirred awake at the feeling of soft, warm lips pressing against your forehead, then your cheek, then the tip of your nose. A groggy groan left your lips as Paige's voice cut through the haze of sleep.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” she murmured, her voice warm with amusement as she continued peppering kisses across your face.
“Too early,” you mumbled, turning your head to bury it in the pillow.
Paige chuckled, tugging the blanket off you just enough to crawl closer, her weight sinking into the bed beside you. “Come on, it’s Christmas morning. Presents are waiting, and Drew’s already downstairs losing his mind. You’re not gonna make me carry you, are you?”
You groaned again, cracking one eye open to meet her amused gaze. “You’d carry me if I asked.”
Paige smirked, leaning down so her lips hovered over yours. “You’re right. I would.”
The way her words sent a rush of warmth through your chest was enough to finally convince you to sit up, though not without a dramatic sigh.
“Fine, fine,” you muttered. “Let me brush my teeth first, though. You may love me, but morning breath is still a thing.”
Paige rolled her eyes but pulled you into a quick kiss anyway before hopping off the bed, smirking when you stared at her in mock betrayal. “Hurry up, or Drew’s opening all the presents without us.”
The living room was warm and bustling, the faint smell of cinnamon rolls wafting in from the kitchen. Paige’s dad and stepmom were sipping coffee on the couch, while Drew sat cross-legged near the tree, eyeing the stack of presents like a predator watching its prey.
“Finally!” Drew exclaimed when you and Paige walked in, his energy contagious. “Can we start now?”
Paige smirked, leading you to a spot on the floor near the tree. “Go ahead, dude. You’re first.”
Drew wasted no time, tearing through the presents from his parents and sister like it was a sport. The last box in his pile was from you, and he paused, glancing at you with a curious grin.
“This one’s from you, right?” he asked, already pulling at the paper.
“Yup,” you said with a nod, leaning back against Paige. “Hope you like it.”
The moment he got the box open, his jaw dropped. Inside was a pair of custom Nike basketball shoes in his favorite color, his jersey number stitched onto the side, along with a few small, personalized details—his initials, a subtle design of his favorite team’s logo, and a motivational quote you’d heard Paige repeat to him once during practice.
“Yo!” Drew exclaimed, holding the shoes up like they were a trophy. “These are so sick!” He jumped to his feet, throwing himself at you for a bear hug that nearly knocked you backward. “This is the coolest present ever! Thank you!”
You laughed, hugging him back. “I’m glad you like them, Drew.”
“Like them? I love them!” he said, grinning ear to ear as he slipped them on to admire how they looked.
Next, everyone unwrapped their gifts in turns, each one from you met with smiles, laughter, and gratitude. Paige’s dad unwrapped a sleek leather wallet with his initials engraved on it, while her stepmom gasped at the elegant bracelet you’d picked out for her.
Then it was Paige’s turn.
You handed her a neatly wrapped box, and she raised an eyebrow at the size and weight of it. Carefully peeling away the paper, she opened the box to reveal a stunning, customized Rolex. The watch gleamed with purple accents, subtle bedazzling, and an engraving on the inside of the band: ‘Time stops when I’m with you.’
Paige blinked, her usually confident demeanor faltering for just a second as she stared at the watch. Then her lips curled into a grin as she held it up to the light.
“You seriously got me a Rolex?” she asked, her tone hovering between amused and impressed.
You shrugged, biting back a smile. “I didn’t know what to get you. I spoil you with personalized and sentimental stuff all the time, so I figured I’d go all out for christmas.”
Paige leaned over, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You didn’t have to, but I’m not complaining. It’s perfect. Thank you, baby.”
Finally, it was your turn. There was a neat stack of gifts with your name on them, but Paige’s was the smallest—a tiny box that she handed to you with a smirk.
“Is this an engagement ring?” you teased, holding the box up dramatically.
Paige only smiled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Not yet,” she said, her voice steady and confident.
That response made your heart skip a beat, and you gave her a mock glare to cover up how flustered you felt. “Don’t say things like that so casually.”
You opened the box to find a gold necklace with a charm in the shape of a basketball, engraved with the date of your first game together at UConn.
“Paige,” you whispered, your fingers brushing over the charm as a lump formed in your throat.
“Do you like it?” she asked, watching your expression closely.
You nodded, unable to stop the smile that broke across your face. “I love it. Thank you.”
Paige grinned, leaning in to kiss you softly. “Merry Christmas, mama.”
The rest of the morning was spent surrounded by warmth, laughter, and the sound of wrapping paper being crumpled and tossed aside. And for the first time in years, you felt like Christmas truly had a place in your heart—thanks to Paige and the family that welcomed you with open arms.
#⇢ ˗ˏˋ vamptizm writes ࿐ྂ#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#uconn wbb#uconn women’s basketball#uconn huskies
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Since you mentioned this in an earlier ask, what is your take on feminist Leona? I see people saying things like "consent king" "he drinks his respect women juice" and "leona kingscholar says men ain't shit" but I think those are mainly jokes but I've also seen a lot of for example Leona x reader fanfics where he's a lot nicer to femme Yuus than masc ones. I don't play the game so I don't know how much of a feminist he really is, could you clarify and give your own insights? Ty Miss Raven!!!!!!!
[Referencing this post!]
Admittedly, I am guilty of having made “consent king” jokes but that’s mainly because I think consent + respecting others’ autonomy is very sexy important and it’s slightly funny to have a 185 cm muscular anime cat boy championing the concept. However, I try to avoid making jokes which would imply Leona puts down his own gender or thinks lesser of them because 1) canon doesn't indicate this and 2) it can be hurtful to non-femme Twst fans. Yes, most of the fandom is women--but that doesn't mean we shouldn't make this fandom space welcoming for masculine or nonbinary Twst fans.
Let's delve into a brief history of where feminist!Leona comes from! After that, I'll discuss my own thoughts and feelings about it.
The idea first came into prominence because of an exchange that occurs in Cater's School Uniform vignette. In it, Cater is trying to convince Leona to join him for a party that he's throwing for Rosaria, one of the talking paintings at NRC. At first, Leona refuses--but he quickly changes his tune once Cater mentions Rosaria is a "she/her". Leona states, "Portrait or not, I respect ladies and Rosaria is a lady." Cater then whispers to Kalim (who is shocked that Leona suddenly agreed to come along), "Leona's kingdom is all about being respectful to ladies."
It should be noted that Leona says something slightly different in JP: “Even if it’s a portrait, a woman is a woman.” JP does not have the “I respect ladies” portion; “I respect ladies” was added to EN, which may have further amplified the interpretation that he is a feminist.
Now, as we learn from that vignette, the Sunset Savanna has a culture of "respecting women". In Leona's Ceremonial Robes vignette, he elaborates that, “[Beastwomen are] already way stronger than [beastmen]." Furthermore, Ruggie states in one of his Chats that “Girls have both the grit and the camaraderie to triumph when the goin’ gets tough.” Then, in events like Tamashina Mina and late in book 7, we are told that many of the royal guards are women who volunteer for the positions and it's common for them to have learned martial arts from a young age. From this dialogue, we can glean that the women of Leona's home country are physically strong, strong-willed, and honorable.
With that being said, I think certain interpretations of Leona's "feminism" (a term not actually used by official materials; this is a fandom take) definitely take it a step too far by either assuming Leona treats woman as a special class and/or he dislikes men. Both of those interpretations (if serious and not said as a joke) are owed to a fundamental misunderstanding of what "feminism" is. Feminism is "the belief in full social, economic, and political equality for women." Feminism is NOT misandry (a hatred of men), and nor is it female chauvinism (the belief that women are superior to men)... unless, of course, you're talking about very radicalized forms of thinking. The basic concept of feminism doesn't involve man hate or putting women on a pedestal.
Twst itself appears to go with the basic definition of feminism. As Leona himself states, he doesn't treat anyone special. "I ain't extra nothin' to nobody. As if [women] even need men fawning all over'em."
Leona, whom we know to be arrogant and unwilling to obey others' orders, appears to be more willing to listen to and carry out tasks if there's a woman involved. I already mentioned the case with Rosaria the painting (which proves that his "respecting women" thing extends beyond just beastwomen from his home country). In his Ceremonial Robes, he also grumpily puts on the aforementioned robes and takes a picture of himself in it upon the request of his sister-in-law. But--and this should be stressed--he's not exactly jumping for joy or eager to do so. Instead, Leona cites that "Goin’ against [beastwomen] only brings more trouble.” This indicates annoyance at having to carry out this chore, and gives the impression that Leona's only complying because not doing so would only overcomplicate things for him. He's not an idiot--he knows when to make a strategic retreat if it's going to save him time and effort in the long run. (For example, he immediately surrenders to the Ferrymen in book 6 rather than continue to put up a fight.)
I should note that, like in the earlier definition of feminism I shared, Leona does not simply bend the knee to every single woman. In the first Halloween event, he was still capable of scaring off the Magicam Monsters (some of which have distinctly female voices) without any qualms. He was still fully able to express anger and upset when Eliza, the Ghost Bride, smacked him. "You've got a lot of nerve turnin' me down over some nonsense!" He's also not above tricking the Fairy Queen and her entourage to steal back the special magestone from NRC.
This shows us that Leona doesn't just... "respect women" indiscriminately. If someone is going to be rude and selfish to him, he's going to respond as is appropriate. He's not going to turn a blind eye because of the offending party's gender.
In terms of Yuu interactions (assuming Yuu can be any gender), Leona acts pretty aggressive towards them in their first meeting. Even though it's clearly an accident and Yuu didn't realize they stepped on his tail, Leona is annoyed by the act and them walking away without apologizing or stopping to acknowledge him. He also makes it known that Yuu is magicless, and thus has no way of defending themselves from him. And you know what this man does? He says, "Well, can't say it'd be much fun to hurt someone so helpless. Still gonna do it, though." AND HE THREATENS TO TAKE A TOOTH. His wording, "No one gets to stomp on my tail and just walk away without payin' the price" + him still deciding to attack Yuu desite knowing they are weak/cannot fight back, implies to me that he may have still reacted this way regardless of Yuu's gender. (Key word: MAY. We don't know if this is the truth or not, I am leaving this up to your interpretation.)
Notably, there is a light change between EN and JP versions for Yuu's dialogue choices in response to Leona's threat. The EN dialogue options are far more humorous, but the JP options clearly convey fear (ie Leona is being serious about his threat of bodily harm). The top option is like noises of surprise, like "Eh, eh, eh!!"; the bottom option is along the lines of, "What, I'm going to be hit/beaten!"
There are, in fact, multiple instances where Leona acts callous towards Yuu. He refuses to let Yuu stay in Savanaclaw unless they earn their keep by beating up some mobs. He constantly degrades them by calling them and others he considers weak "herbivore". He has to be goaded into helping us or taking us along on trips instead of automatically caving. It could be argued that he would be more agreeable or polite if fem!Yuu was in these scenarios. And who knows, that might be the case--but again, I don't think he would be egregiously kind. I would like to point out a more direct example of a Leona-fem!Yuu interaction. Leona has interacted with a female Yuu before: Yuuka Hirasaka, our main character for the Episode of Savanaclaw manga. There's some debate over whether or not the NRC students know that Yuuka is a girl since the topic is never mentioned once, but I assume that they are aware because: 1) Yuuka makes no effort to hide her figure or chest; she even wears her blazer open, and 2) she has no motivation to hide her gender; she is capable of defending herself if needed and has a nonchalant personality. Proceeding with the assumption that Yuuka being a girl is a known fact, Leona does not treat her any differently than any other student.
Yuuka seems to experience the same tail-stepping scene as is depicted in game, although we don't see the aftermath of it/if Leona gives her the same threat.
The more telling scene for Yuuka, however, comes when she and her friends arrive in Savanaclaw to investigate. They are confronted by a bunch of mobs that start to pick a fight with them. Like in the game, Leona intervenes (ie he doesn't stop the fight just because Yuuka is a woman) and has them duke it out in a game of spelldrive/magift instead.
And you know what? Leona doesn't hold back just because he's playing against a woman. In fact, he kicks Yuuka's ass and then some. Then he stands over her and tells her to get back up, to keep playing. Leona isn't cutting Yuuka any slack whatsoever. He treats Yuuka the same as the boys she's playing with.
This brings me to my final prominent example of Leona interacting with a woman, which I think best exemplifies what my interpretation of Leona's "feminism" is. In the JP server's 2024 Halloween event Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas, Sally indicates that she plans on making a meal using the plants from around the cemetery. Leona is at first displeased by this, but then agrees to help her catch snakes, rats, lizards, etc. as meat for the meal. This leads into a conversation about how sad Sally's home life is, which earns her sympathy from the other NRC students. Jade, Riddle, and Epel are shocked at the cruelty that Sally faces. Jade volunteers to take the doctor out for Sally, and Epel even tries to convince Leona to help him rough up Dr. Finkelstein. But Leona just smirks and tells them Sally's not in any need of their "help"; isn't she the one who slipped the doctor a "drink"? Riddle scolds him for this "ungentlemanly" behavior and Epel refuses to believe that the "kind Sally" would do something like use poison. Leona was able to smell the deadly nightshade on her and deduce that Sally slipped some to her guardian and then slipped out on her own. She's not a damsel in distress--she's resourceful. Sally used her brains and not brute force to rescue herself from a bad situation. (We know that this would deeply resonate with Leona because he has been struggling his entire life to have his own merits recognized.) Leona praises Sally for her cunning and goes so far as to offer her his arm and tell her that he's looking forward to this evening's dinner.
In this situation, could it not be said that Jade, Riddle, and Epel were the ones assuming Sally is weak that Leona was the one who saw her true worth? I'm of course not accusing anyone here of being sexist. Society socializes us to see women as the "fairer sex" in need of protection and aid--but isn't Leona being more equitable by not underestimating Sally because of her gender?
That brings me to my conclusion. Leona respects women, no doubt about that. However, that's NOT a blanket statement. He clearly knows how to separate who is worthy of his respect and who isn't, and then he acts accordingly. Yes, he is polite, slightly softer, and more willing to listen to women he knows (his sister-in-law), women who haven't offended him/are just existing (Rosaria), and woman who have demonstrated their own strengths to him (Sally). He doesn’t become a completely different character just to bend to the whims of women. Those who have acted in ways to earn his ire, woman or not, will be treated as such (Magicam Monsters, Eliza, even Yuu when they/she enters his territory and/or steps on his tail). At the same time, I don't believe he thinks that women are delicate flowers that need special treatment (as we see with how he handles Sally + the Yuus and, more specifically, Yuuka). If anything, the women from his home country have demonstrated that they can be strong and self-sufficient. Why would he feel the need to go out of his way to be extremely lenient with the women he is around?
Lastly, nothing in official materials implies Leona treats men significantly worse than women. If he seems exceedingly rude to men, it’s most likely the result of the main cast (the characters Leona most often interacts with) being guys. If we were to compare how he treats his peers and how he treats women who have irritated him, I would say the behavior isn’t that different.
I know that was a long post but 😅 Hopefully I was able to articulate my thoughts well enough… May you find it helpful in forming your own opinion, Anon!
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