#and how the 90s were really into the 60s

[eggmeralda]

can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future

(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)

[infiniteglitterfall]

Nothing you say will change the undeniable fact that Israel has killed more than 1% of the civilian population of Gaza through indiscriminate bombing since the start of this war

this is why Hamas only reports total people killed, and doesn't separate out civilians and combatants. because it knows that you'll assume they were all civilians, despite zero reason to assume that. nobody else does it that way. every single country on earth reports civilians and combatants separately, because killing civilians is a war crime.

Part of the reason that this is really good propaganda is that if someone responds by clarifying that it was only ____ civilians, they will sound like they're minimizing, which will lead to immediately dismissing their point.

Hamas is honestly masterful at propaganda.

Which sucks.

Anyway, if you want Undeniable Facts or at least Numbers: there are 2.3M people in Gaza, of which 30,000-40,000 are Hamas military. An unknown number are Hamas leaders, cybersecurity, military academy staff, etc. None of that really makes a dent in a number like 2,300,000, though. As of the beginning of December, more than 5,000 of the 15k+ it had then killed were Hamas members, for a civilian:combatant casualty ratio of almost 2:1.

Meaning that it had killed almost 10,000 civilians. Which also sucks.

For the curious, here are the ratios of civilian:combatant deaths you get with the numbers here for various wars:

Mexican Revolution  1:1

WWI close to 1:1

WWII between 3:2 and 2:1

Korean War about 2:1

Vietnam War 2:1 at highest estimate, 1:1 at lowest

Russia-Afghanistan War between 5.6:1 and 20:1

Israel-Lebanon War 6:1

Both Chechen Wars 7.6:1

NATO in Yugoslavia most likely 4:1

Afghanistan War 0.4:1 (or if you treat the civilians as the basis for comparison, it's 1:2.5)

Iraq War 1:2 thru 2015, then 4.5:1

U.S. Drone attacks in Pakistan 1:5

Second Intifada between 1:1 and 2:1, with 59% of Palestinian and 69% of Israeli deaths being civilians

2008 Gaza War 3:2 

2014 Gaza War between 1:1 and 3:1

Ukraine: 1:6 as of end of 2022 - surprisingly, this is the lowest ratio of any of the wars I've looked at

Israel-Hamas war as of beginning of December: 2:1. (15600 total, more than 5000 combatants.) 

As of Dec 19, Israel has killed 19,667 people in Gaza. Let's see if we can get an actual number for how many of those are civilians.

I can't find an up-to-date number for combatants. It was 5,000+ on the 6th, and 7,000+ by the 10th,

It's been primarily fighting in Hamas strongholds that aren't SUPPOSED to have any civilians in them. Given that it killed three hostages, that's obviously not guaranteed. But that's why the number went up so fast.

As of the 19th, Israel has killed 4,000 people in about two weeks. At least half of those are combatants. But it's also wildly unlikely that it's only killed civilians since the 10th. Guessing that half of those deaths were combatants seems reasonable; it should be more, based on all the info we have.

That means that Israel may have killed 11,667 civilians, of maybe 2.27M civilians in Gaza. And killed 8,000 Hamas members, of maybe 30,000. (700 have also surrendered, last I checked.)

To be fair, separating out the combatant deaths doesn't do a lot to change what percent of civilians have been killed, because 2.3M is such a big number.

It's 0.6% with them, 0.5% without them. (Not 1%, fortunately.)

But it's always worth noting that Hamas is a lying group of liars that lied about having raped civilians en masse, lied about having killed civilians en masse, lied about wanting to specifically fight Israel and not Jews in the rest of the world, and is even happier to mislead people than it is to lie outright.

By contrast, it's about 30% of Hamas, between Israel killing its members being killed, and them surrendering.

I don't particularly like the number of terrorists killed either, tbh. Despite how enthusiastically some people misinterpreted what I said, I don't like it when anybody gets killed.

[djsherriff-responses]

Goth Rayman costume in Laserhawk but it was while in college as he was going through a goth phase.

I think Rayman’s college days would’ve taken place around the 40s or late 50s. Going with the fact Rayman is older than Eden and taking some consideration on how long it took Eden to go from a business company to rebranding the USA as their own property , Eden’s take over of America was most likely completed no later than the early 60s. The cyberpunk tech in the setting where the year is 1992 definitely throws some screws into how this timeline came to be, but i imagine the previous decades would’ve had similar fashion trends to our world that just ended up with more technological advancements

That’s a long winded way of saying goths weren’t a thing till the 80s and thus no goth college Rayman : (

Greasers were a thing in the 50s though 👀

[simptasia]

the best reminder that LOST is a masterpiece is to watch any other drama series

[karmaphone]

anyways I think we can tie the lack of new subcultures* to the fact that nobody has any free time anymore, and what free time they have is spent digitally instead of Creating

[roguestorm]

very interested in how marvel + dc are both experimenting with the webtoon format (infinite scroll/minimal paneling + simpler art style) and how what is published in that format is not traditional superhero stories but things that might be more in line generically with what you would find in a webtoon (for example, making a whole comic dedicated to romance, which is a very popular webtoon genre but not a popular genre for the comics you’d find in an american comic book store)

it’s very different from the early days of infinite comics, where the paneling was often very important and it moved from panel to panel with powerpoint animations. and it’s always interesting to see how marvel and dc respond to other comic forms and try to capitalize on what is popular. especially right now when it seems like the traditional comic book industry is perpetually on the edge of dying.

[nexus-nebulae]

wow i WILDLY miscalculated the difference between kilograms and pounds

[ms-demeanor]

The driving times you've given are so interesting to me because for the same distance in the uk, using all motorways so 70 mph speed limit, is 5 hours for 300 miles and 9 hours for 500 miles without traffic which is absolutely impossible.

I regularly drive 70 miles (1 way) and that still takes me around 2 hours even being 95% dual carriageway (70 limit) and 5% country roads (60 limit) with decent traffic I am exhausted by the end. I couldn't imagine ever doing that as a commute!

But I'd love to do a long drive on american roads at least once to see how it differs

Sometimes I drive like an absolute asshole so the drive from LA to Vegas (about 250 miles from my departure/arrival points) takes under 3 hours when I'm driving in the middle of the night and there's no traffic. That kind of thing is pretty easy when you leave at 1am and show up around 4am and you can do 80-90 easy for most of the drive when there's no one around on a tuesday night. 90 also doesn't feel all that fast on a wide, straight, well-maintained highway. I don't think I'd ever do 90 on, like, the 10 through Pomona where there's always traffic and lots of construction and the road is full of potholes, but on the 15 between Barstow and Vegas? For sure.

But also my 30 mile one way commute to the office takes a minimum of 45 minutes in good traffic and took 2 hours the last time I drove in. It averages about an hour on an eight lane freeway with a speed limit of 65mph. THAT is exhausting. But that's traffic, which is different than just driving, which is relaxing.

When I was taking my trip from LA to Texas, I ended up driving through large parts of Arizona and all of New Mexico; it was mid-week and we were on one of the main interstate highways (40) and there were stretches where I wouldn't see another car on my side of the highway for a good ten minutes at a time. I just looked it up and the population density of New Mexico is 17 people per square mile. The population density of the UK is 740 people per square mile. The population density of LA county is 2467 people per square mile (though California as a whole is about 250 people per square mile - the drive from LA to San Francisco takes me around 5.5 hours and is about 400 miles because a lot of the area between those two huge metro areas is extremely sparsely populated! But also I once drove from Sacramento to LA and it took me around 4.5 hours to get from Sacramento to Canyon Country (330 miles), then another 3 hours to get from Canyon Country to Culver City to the area I live in (60 miles) because I hit morning rush hour traffic).

One of the things about the US is that it's HUGE. But another thing about the US is that there are many parts of it that are very, very empty. I live in an area that is VERY very crowded, but it's relatively easy for me to get to someplace that is very empty, and really I think that's the thing that makes it different in terms of driving.

[wonderjanga]

Marvel Being the First Hero to Debut

Let me explain, in the 50’s, precisely 58, is when the Batson’s died. Then, two to four years later, the time bubble appeared. (60-62) In 59, there was a sighting of a red blur flying across the sky, but nothing really came of it.

Now, fast forward to 95. The time bubble pops then instead of twenty years later. So boom, Billy, Mary, and Freddy are now in the mid 90’s. The news catches sight and confirmation Marvel exists like a month after the bubble pops when he’s fighting some random magical monster. His official “debut” as Captain Marvel. Now, Billy superheroes his way through the two thousands. He meets Clark when the Kryptonian is like 17 or so in 2008, and Clark is just gobsmacked at the thought of another Kryptonian (he was a little disappointed to find out Marvel wasn’t) and the fact that there’s someone out there who’s also abnormally strong and fast and also has weird abilities. Mary and Freddy become national treasures. (Their Marvel forms make them look like teens) The three go to Gotham (2009) and they happen to meet young Batman, Dick Robin, and Barbara when she’s still Batgirl. Mary and Barbara get along, Freddy and Dick get along, and Batman tolerates Marvel’s cheeriness. The Justice League is formed(2010), he isn’t invited. (He kinda was. The team came together during a crisis, aliens, and they all worked together. He left before he could actually be apart of the “let’s be a team” discussion.) Then, he continues to superhero, the Teen Titans are formed some time later (2012), Billy doesn’t really care (he does, he’s jealous he can’t join because his Marvel form looks like an adult) but Freddy and Mary do cause they join. (It crushes him inside slightly) Then, Billy gets actually invited to join the JL cause they were like “wait, does he even know he’s kinda in the league?” (2015) Then he joins, and they all think he’s gonna be this super wise, stoic older hero. They think this cause Billy started avoiding press as the years went by, so there’s rarely a video or photo of him being a dumbass and not listening to Solomon. So they’re a little confused when they meet a mid twenties, maybe early thirties something guy who also kinda, might, may be related to Supes, judging by how friendly they are to each other.

[v4mporino]

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[superfallingstars]

Jily circa 1977, for @moonstainn's marauders era 70s outfit challenge! I had sooo much fun with this - I think this is the first time that James has made an appearance on this account, and I actually based his shirt and jacket on a photo of my dad in the 70s, which was super fun. Love a contrast stitching moment!

The other reason this was so fun is that I'm like one of those annoying historical fashion people but only for like, the 70s thru 90s, lol. I think late 70s fashion can sometimes get lost in the shuffle between the groovy early 70s and the neon 80s, so I really wanted to showcase it here, since that's the era in which James and Lily come of age. From what I've seen, late 70s fashion is less bell bottoms and fringe, and more cuffed jeans, knee-high boots, and furry jackets with big shoulders (perhaps a precursor to the shoulder pads of the 80s...?).

I can't resist rambling on about this, but I'll do everyone a favor and put it (as well as all of my references/inspo!) under the cut:

These are street style pics from 1977 London, taken by Derek Ridgers, and they're such a big influence on how I imagine Lily. You can see that the styles are starting to shift from the hippie fashion of the late 60s/early 70s – at this point there were a lot of these huge fuzzy jackets, cowl neck sweaters, layered zip-ups, and knee-high boots under midi skirts.

A few photos of some women whose fashion specifically inspired me for this drawing. The top row is all Kate Bush – there are a ton of photos of her from around this time and she looks quite similar to how I imagine Lily – and she rocks those tall boots (+ midi skirt combo). The bottom row is Isabelle Huppert (who I have considered as a time-accurate Lily fancast lol, although I'm uncertain of the exact dates of these photos). Her jacket in the first pic definitely inspired me for Lily, and I don't think I've ever seen someone look so cool in a scarf before...!

The other big trend I noticed (from looking through a million pictures of bands I like from this time) is the proliferation of cuffed jeans! What was up with these giant cuffs? Once I started looking for them, I noticed them everywhere. Tbh they're a nice way to add a fun little extra detail to a character's outfit. And I must mention that in the second photo (featuring the Buzzcocks), the guy on the right (John Maher) is pretty much EXACTLY how I imagine James to look. There's like no other pictures of him in those glasses tho! So unfortunate.

Anyway! I adore 70s fashion, and even though there are definitely similarities throughout the whole decade, late 70s fashion has its own unique trends that I hoped to bring some attention to here. Especially because it's basically the golden age for Marauders fans lol. Of course this is not comprehensive (far from it!), but I wanted to share my thoughts, and I hope it was at least a little informative or inspiring. Thanks if you made it this far through my rambles :-)

[thebibliosphere]

I love how transparent you are about what its like to be a self published author in this day and age, and i was just wondering if there was a difference on your side between amazon ebook/paperback and audible - and also if Scribd is any better, because i use it as an alternative to amazon whenever possible (and whenever the library doesnt own a copy of whatever im looking for) is it functionally all the same? What is best for you?

Thank you!

I actually did a huge long post a while back when I got the audiobooks produced and uploaded to various platforms. I included Scribd in the breakdown after people falsely claim that Scrib is better for authors than Amazon/Libraries.

A lot of people were not happy when I burst that particular bubble by showing that Scribd paid me 97 cents out of the 19.99 price tag. Which is less than what Audible paid me.

Now, obviously, Scribd is different because it's a subscription service, and you’re paying for access to multiple things with that subscription. But saying it is better than libraries is just false because I also showed the numbers for that, and my income from libraries was several times higher than both Scribd and Amazon combined (for audio), which is why authors are always begging people to request their work in libraries.

Libraries pay us better and are usually free. Not always. I know it depends heavily on the country, but for most of my English-speaking audience, that is the case.

Now, this is not to say people shouldn’t use services like Scribd. If Scribd is what you can afford and it gives you access to things your library can’t fantastic. Please continue to access our work through that legal option. I would much rather earn 97 cents than zero.

But uh, yeah, Amazon pays me more than Scrib for digital stuff and I really don’t like when people who aren’t on the author side spread misinformation and frame it as some more “gotcha.”

The sad truth is Most retailers pay us the same or within the same royalty range. The difference I earn between Kobo vs Kindle is literal pennies with Amazon coming out on top. I make my work available on multiple platforms to give people options, but unless you’re buying directly from my personal storefront, it's all roughly the same.

I do actually earn more from Amazon paperbacks than I do any other retailers (for self-pub, paperbacks are a flat rate regardless of how much a retailer is charging), but the difference is about ten cents, so I always tell people to buy from wherever is best for them.

I like bookshop.org because they give some of the profit on their end to indie bookstores. Same with libro.fm for audio.

Audiobooks are just a whole fucking nightmare. Audible sets your price point for you and takes 80% of your royalties. And because Audible does that, I have to then use that price tag on all other platforms or risk being fucked by the algorithm gods. Other audio retailers take about 60-70% in royalties, most of them veering toward 70%.

As we say in radical acceptance therapy, it is what it is—fucking end-stage monopoly driven capitalism.

Now, speaking personally, when it comes to digital media, I earn the most royalties from my Payhip store where I keep 90% of my income.

That's the best place for me.

It's also why it's worth looking up an author you like to see if they have their own storefront. It doesn't help our sales rankings or put us on any bestseller lists, but frankly after launch week, who cares. I’ll take being able to feed me and my dog.

I hope that helps!

[apas-95]

the more well-known the agency confronting you is, the less trouble you're usually in. like if it's the cops at your door, it could just be a noise complaint. FBI might just be there for tweets. obviously, still bad, but... here, a comparison. if you have a run in with the CIA you're probably in trouble, but if you have a run in with the Office of Naval Intelligence then you've definitely fucked up. did you know the USPS has its own investigative force? and you might be thinking like, oh, as in some dudes in baby blue button-ups who search for missing mail - but no, these are uniformed, armed federal agents with all the authority that entails. they've got squad cars and such. and, like, these guys are serious. back in the late '80s to the early '90s, when electronic mail sorting first started to be rolled out, there were consistent issues with the machines having trouble scanning letters. it wasn't a super common problem, but it happened a lot, in multiple states. anyway, the USPS eventually realised two things - first, that the problems persisted even after the machines themselves were replaced (at great expense); and second, that they were really limited to michigan and some surrounding states, with only rare occurrences elsewhere which might be unrelated. anyway, that was enough to get the United States Postal Inspection Service to take interest. if somebody was sending dangerous materials though the mail which were messing with the scanning machines, it was probably endangering postal workers too. this was pre-9/11, so the idea it was terrorism wasn't taken too seriously, and the investigation didn't get much support. anyway, it takes months of waiting for machines to break down, cataloguing the mail they'd been handling, cross-referencing it, etc, to narrow down the source of the mail to somewhere south of detroit. kinda goes cold for a while, since the mail's scanned in big batches and finding the common link takes a *lot* of data and work. anyway it's like october '91 now and they think they've finally got it. they've found a specific batch that's tripping the machines up, and they're going over it with a fine-tooth comb when an agent's pager starts freaking out. after experimenting, they realise that whatever's fucked with the scanning machines has also fucked with the pager, and they realise it might be putting out radiation. biiig 'oh shit' moment. they isolate the whole batch and get a big medical checkup, but they're alright. geiger counter picks up nothing. what they *do* find, however, is that there are like 60 letters in there that are each putting out small amounts of non-ionising EM radiation. so, basically safe to handle, but together they're enough to flip some bits in the janky '80s tech they've got and cause occasional scanning errors. and, get this, they're all from the same address. they track this place down, and it's this guy running a sort of bird sanctuary in his backyard. he's australian, and sells like, courses for avoiding getting attacked by birds - and he spends a lot of time hanging around these birds, right? so they take the guy in for questioning, and they literally can't even have recording equipment on the table with him without it glitching, he's almost cooking popcorn here. they question him, and he tells them about his business, how he like, teaches people specific hand gestures to scare away birds and whatever, and they start grilling him on whether he's been exposed to any chemicals or anything, because of the letters. and the guy, when he hears about the letters, suddenly goes like 'ohhh', and explains. cus he gives people grades on their performance and sends them a handmade certificate after they complete the course, right? so they're like 'why the fuck are your letters irradiated' and he just tells them 'Thats My Crow Wave Gradiation'

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Rock bottom (But you pulled me up) (Ingrid Engen x Reader)

I'm trying to work on my requests and WIP, but inspiration is lacking so I thought I'd try something new. This is my first time writing for someone out of the uswnt and in this style so please let me know what you think.

Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, brief emotional abuse. Slightly suggestive at the end. Anything I've missed let me know.

Words: 2.8K

You could tell Ingrid was hurt, it was written all over her face. She had made you a lovely dinner and just wanted to have a movie night after not spending much time together. Yet here you were making an excuse to leave once again, you felt like a horrible girlfriend. Ingrid had taken the time to do something nice for you, but you couldn't get out of your head enough to enjoy it. Before you had the chance to get up, Ingrid uttered those three words that sent dread coursing through you. "We need to talk."

You swallowed hard before speaking, "About what?" 

"You barely spend anytime with me anymore. You never message me first, we only do stuff because I organise it. I don't feel like you want me anymore. You're slipping away. Are you trying to get me to break up with you because this hurts so much more than just doing it yourself."

"No! Ingrid-" Tears stung your eyes as you tried desperately to keep it together. Afraid that if she saw how broken you were she would just leave. Things had been difficult for you lately, you were depressed, anxious and stressed. You felt so close to rock bottom, as a result you had been pulling away from Ingrid. The last thing you wanted was Ingrid to leave you, but you also didn't want to be a burden to her or scare her away with your emotions. 

"Then what is it? Did I do something wrong?"

You could practically see the hope disappearing from Ingrid's eyes the longer you didn't answer, leaving hurt in its place. "I feel like when I see you, I need to be able to give you 100% of myself, of my energy and time. I can't do that right now and it makes me feel guilty. Like I'm a horrible girlfriend, that you deserve better than what I'm giving you."

Ingrid took your hand, everything in you fighting the urge to lean into her touch, to fall into the comfort you knew was waiting. If only you could bring yourself to accept it. The voices of your parents and ex-girlfriend hung in the back of your mind stopped you though. The voices that told you you were a burden to the people around you, that everyone had bigger problems to worry about and didn't care about you. The voices that told you Ingrid deserved better than you and your problems. 

"Elskling, relationships don't have to be equal all the time. There's times where it'll be 50/50, but there's times where you give 90% and I'll give 10% or the other way round, sometimes it'll be 70/30 or 60/40. You get my point. What's going on? You haven't been yourself lately and it's really worrying me. Talk to me please."

You sighed pulling away from Ingrid to cross your legs under yourself, grabbing a cushion to hold. There was a part of you that thought being single would be easier, that there was less risk of hurting Ingrid that way. At the same time you knew it was those stupid little voices in the back of your mind that kept pushing that thought. You loved Ingrid more than anything in this world and deep down you knew she loved you just as much. You didn't want to let everyone else win, you didn't want to let your mind win for once in your life. 

Talking about feelings was incredibly hard, it wasn't something you could do while being comforted by Ingrid or anyone really. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, it's not fair to you and I know that. I-I'll try to explain it all, bu-but I need you to be patient with me. Just let me speak and not touch me, I can't do this if you do."

"Anything you need. I just need you to know that whatever you tell me, I won't ever judge you. I love you Y/n, I love you so much."

"I love you Ingrid. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that. Okay, so I um I think I need to start with why I have such a hard time letting people in, especially those I love. My family, well to put it bluntly they're assholes. They were constantly putting down everything about my sister and I, nothing we ever did was good enough. Any problems we went through were nothing to them, they always told us that people had bigger problems, that they had bigger problems and we were just adding more stress to their lives if we talked to them about anything remotely not positive. Tha-thats the short version anyway. My uh my ex was pretty similar, she would tell me that she had better things to do then deal with my trauma or depression. If I was unhappy she would turn it around, say that she wasn't enough to make me happy. Even before her, I majorly struggled with my feelings and opening up to people. Fear mostly, that's why I um haven't told you anything. Fear that I'll be too much for you and that you'll leave me."

Tears threatened to fall, but pushing them back you continued talking. "I'm really struggling right now Ingrid. My depression is the worst it's been in years. The anxiety just sits there constantly under the surface making it feel impossible to breathe. Constant doubt about if I've made the right decisions, if I'm good enough at football, if I'm good enough for you, there are so many more things I could list. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better off if I just packed up and left. I'm so sick of feeling like this, but I don't know how to get it to stop. This is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done, but I've had already almost lost you Ingrid. I can't let them win by actually losing you. I love you so fucking much, I can't lose you Ingrid, I can't."

Tears were near pouring out of you both as Ingrid sat there for a second. When you didn't speak she must have decided you were finished talking because the next second arms wrapped around you so tightly and you completely broke. Ingrid held you tight until the sobs turned to sniffles then you feel silent. Ingrid's hold never completely let go, it was like a life line at this point. 

"I love you Y/n. I loved you before and I still love you just as much now. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing your parents or ex said is true. I always want to know how and what you're feeling, I will always be here for you. No matter what your mind tells you, you are never too much for me or for the team or anyone who truly loves you. Our lives are so much better with you here so please don't even think about leaving because we will miss you. I will be here every step of the way while you figure things out, I will help you get the help you need. If you need space, I'll give you that, but if you need me here then I will always be here. I know you feel like you need to be giving me all of yourself, all of your energy, but you don't. Even if you can just give me 1% until you get over this bump in the road then that's enough for me. You are enough for me Y/n."

"I think there will be times when I need to be alone, but most of the time I just really want to be with you. I need to work on accepting that I deserve your love and comfort so I actually seek it out when I need it or want it. Some reassurance every now and then will help I think. Can we talk about the next steps tomorrow? I just want you to hold me right now."

"I will give you all the reassurance you need and more. Have you eaten today?" Ingrid asked, but the look in her eyes told you she knew the answer so you just shook your head. "Okay, I'm going to order some food while we cuddle here then we can go to bed."

True to her word, Ingrid held you tightly while you lay on the couch, staying close to your side during dinner and as you got ready for bed. "Thank you, for everything you've done, for being here, for loving me."

Ingrid kissed you softly, before pulling away and leaving soft kisses over your face, "Always."

Lying in bed later that night, head resting against Ingrid's chest, you decided to admit the one thing that kept swirling around your mind, "I think I need to take a break from football. Not the training, I think that helps me, but games. The pressure that comes from each game feels like weight being added. Makes me feel like I'm being dragged further down into this hole."

"Okay, if that's what you feel you need then we can talk to the coaches or Ale and she can sort it out. I know the thought of telling anyone else what is going on is scary, but Ale or anyone else on the team aren't going to judge you or think any less of you because of it."

"I think maybe we can talk to Alexia, not tell her everything, but the jist of it."

"I'll be by your side when you're ready." ---

It had been a few weeks since the talk with Ingrid and since you made the decision to stop playing in games for a while. The only person who knew why was Alexia, it was clear that everyone else was worried, but until now you hadn't felt ready to tell them and thankfully they didn't push. 

There was still a long way to go, but things had been slowly getting better over the last few weeks. You had started seeing the team therapist multiple times a week and had restarted medication for the time being at least. Everything was starting to become clearer, you weren't as anxious all the time, you were becoming more willing to talk to Ingrid, to actually spend time with her without worrying about not being enough, and smiles and laughs were becoming more genuine when they did happened. 

The team had been amazing despite not knowing what was going on, they were as supportive and loving as ever. So you decided it was time to let them in a little bit. You squeezed Ingrid's hand, getting her attention as you spoke quietly, "Can you get their attention please? I know they're worried about me and I think I'm ready to tell them."

"Hey! Can we have your attention for a minute."

Once everyone's attention was on you, the anxiousness started to creep in, but with Ingrid's hand still firmly holding yours, you took a deep breath and spoke, "I know you've all be wondering why I've effectively benched my self the last couple of weeks and I want to be honest about it. I've uh I've been um struggling a lot mentally at the moment and I decided I needed a break. The pressure was too much, I couldn't handle it on top of everything else. So uh yeah, I don't want you guys to keep worrying about me."

It was quiet for a few seconds before many arms wrapped themselves around you, mumbled we love you's and we're proud of you's were heard as you sunk into the arms of your teammates. Surprisingly, Mapi was the first to pull away, cupping your cheeks as she spoke uncharacteristically softly, "You keep doing what you're doing and come back to us when you're ready. You always have is in your corner Y/n. We are so proud of you and we love you. If there's anything you ever need you can come to us okay?"

"Thank you Mapi. Thanks all of you." --- A few months had passed and you were finally feeling like yourself again. There were still hard days, you were pretty sure there always would be, but you were genuinely happy again most of the time. You found yourself more willing to open up to not just Ingrid, but some of the other girls you were closest to. It was safe to say your life was pretty well back on track, there was just one thing left to do and that was get back to football. You hadn't told anyone of your plans to start playing games again, you had just been put in the line up as a sub, but after conversations with the coaching staff you knew you were likely to come in at half time. 

When the line up came out, Alexia was the first to notice and speak up effectively getting everyone else's attention, "Y/n?"

"Yes Ale?"

"Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Ingrid looked at you confused as you shrugged trying to be as innocent as possible while knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Oh really? Well how about the small fact that your name is on the substitute list again?"

"Oh yeah. That is a thing I guess."

Smiles grew on everyone's faces as it clicked what was happening. Ingrid practically jumped on you repeating over and over how proud she was, kisses placed over your faces. The team joined not long after, everyone cheered and congratulated you. 

"Okay okay, you can let go of me now. Yes I finally feel ready to come back."

Once everyone had let you go, Alexia pulled you up into a hug. Since she found out about your struggles, Alexia had been amazing. She was always subtly checking in whether you were at training or not, she would pull you away when everything got too overwhelming and Ingrid was busy, making some excuse so know one else would know the truth. Alexia was always just there in a way that was subtle and comforting. "Well we're so so glad you're back. I'm so proud of you Y/n."

"Thank you Ale, for everything."

As soon as your foot hit the pitch, you felt the excitement, adrenaline and happiness that you thought may have been gone for good. You felt yourself falling in love with football all over again, it was like the final weight had fallen from your shoulders. There would always be bad days or even bad weeks, you knew that, but with Ingrid, your family and your new found coping mechanisms, you finally felt ready to face them. 

---

You arms wrapped around Ingrid as she chopped the vegetables, she briefly turned to kiss your cheek before going back to her task. "Hi Elskling, you played really well today. How did it feel?"

"Hey love. It felt incredible, I know I needed a break, but man did I miss it. Anyway, enough about me I have a surprise for you. I was originally going to give it to you after dinner, but I can't wait anymore. Here." You replied, placing an envelope on the counter in front of her. You could never express how thankful you were for everything Ingrid had done for you over the last few months, for sticking by your side through everything. So instead you had decided to start with a few days away in Venice. It was something she had wanted to do for a while and you decided to make it happen.

 Ingrid looked at you for a second before opening the envelope, a smile appearing as she looked at the tickets inside. "What's this?" 

"I know what you're going to say to this, but I am so thankful for everything you've done for me. Sure we've spent a lot of time together, but it hasn't been the quality, good time you deserve. So you and I are going to spend a few days alone in Venice in a couple of weeks when we have a bit of time off. Now I don't want to hear any buts or I didn't have to do this, just say you're excited and give me a kiss."

Ingrid cupped your cheeks, allowing you to press her against the counter as she pulled you in for a lingering kiss. Just as Ingrid went to pull away, you cupped the back of her neck pulling her back in as the kiss grew heated. You didn't want to say that you stopped enjoying Ingrid's kisses because that's impossible, it was just intimacy beyond cuddling between the two of you had dropped off to almost nothing the last few months. There were still short kisses here and there, but you couldn't get out of your head long enough to actually be present for anything more and that wasn't fair to Ingrid. Your lips moved along her jaw as a quite moan slipped past Ingrid's lips.

"Di-dinner," Ingrid moaned as your hand slipped under her shirt. 

Ingrid's legs wrapped around your waist as you walked back to the bedroom, "Dinner can wait."

[vriskarlmarx]

it kind of grinds my gears how much of the commemoration of the coup (both here in chile but also abroad and online) is centered around the figure of allende specifically. there is obviously an affection for him as a figure on the part of former UP militants and people who both benefitted from and generally believed in allende's project in the 60s through '73, and i don't really have a problem with that, but i think it's an issue when allendist nostalgia clouds the judgement of more serious political analysis and action.

like the very obvious thing that it obscures is that there were actually several thousands of victims of murder, forced disappearance, torture, exile, incarceration and sexual violence. to have public discourse and political discussion focus overwhelmingly on the murder of one person does not do justice to all those people, many of whom may have supported allende's government but whose political projects far exceeded his in terms of radicalism. the popular movement in chile in that time period included socialists, communists, miristas, lautaristas, anarchists, and people who were organized workers not affiliated with a political party, and not all of them were even affiliated with the UP, and all of them were targets of the dictatorship. it is erroneous in terms of historical analysis to flatten that plurality to just one person, when there was a huge and powerful popular movement that both backed and exceeded him.

relatedly, i think insisting on carrying out memory this way also treats 1973 as a definite ending. and it is the ending of the project of the UP, sure, but it is not the ending of liberatory aspirations in this territory. it didn't even end them for one single solitary minute. the movement that backed and exceeded allende was able to regroup and rearticulate into old and new organizations that resisted against the dictatorship, sure, but also openly fought for communism/socialism/anarchism (depending on the group) not just through '89, but also well into the 90s and into today. we are very much still here, and still being targeted by the state that cynical commemorates allende every year. pretending that this is all about him overlooks the people who have been killed at the hands of the state since the return of democracy, too, like alonso who was killed 3 days ago in this year's commemorative march, and claudia who was killed in the same circumstances 26 years ago.

the other thing is that allendist nostalgia is reformist in nature, so it's not surprising to see this kind of thing from reformists (though i still don't like it for the above reasons), but it's pretty surprising to see it from people who espouse revolutionary projects. with the utmost respect, this sort of nostalgia and capital-R romance that enshrines allende as some sort of tragic hero only lends credence to a failed reformist project. perhaps the big lesson to be learned from the UP project is that reformism in our political context is doomed to failure, which does not mean that what happened wasn't unjust and horrific, but it is what happened and if we are going to move forward with any degree of seriousness then we have to recognize it for what it was and learn from it.

[leithanienwnt]

Viviana Delta Mod Review/Analysis:

Three months ago I did the math to try to figure out if a Viviana burn module would be any good. Yeah it’d give her a way of reducing enemy res, but she’d have to get past that res to apply it in the first place and I wasn’t sure how that would go for her. I took a look at the other elemental delta mods, put together my best guess as to what she’d get, and did the math. My conclusion? Yeah it’d be busted.

Well, three months later, they actually did it, and it’s even better than what I simulated in that test.

Before we get into the damage numbers, let’s look at what they gave her.

Her mod is actually very different from the other elemental delta mods. Crucially, it is much more focussed on application of the status than it is on doing bonus elemental damage during the burst. In fact her bonus elemental damage to enemies under the effect of burn is by far the lowest of any granted by a delta mod at only 15%. However, while the others have 8% of damage dealt as build up in their trait, she has 9% in her talent, and that gets doubled with an elite or boss in her range. This is really, really good for multiple reasons. The biggest reason is that bosses require twice the build up to even apply the status in the first place. That can make all the others take significantly longer to trigger a burst, but when Vivi is up against one, she’s able to keep pace by doing double the elemental build up. And then for elites, she can still double it but against a regular elemental build up bar, resulting in incredibly fast triggers. But it goes beyond that too. For one, this focus on the elemental build up is actually perfect for burn damage specifically. Necrosis deals more damage (and DPS), but it lasts 50% longer (15 seconds to burn’s 10). Vivi being so good at triggering the status means that she can fit multiple bursts in one S3 activation against a wide range of enemy RES values (below 60 for bosses, below 80 for elites). So yes, necrosis deals 12k damage over its duration, but dealing 7k twice is still more damage overall. What’s more is that this isn’t just the initial burst damage, but rather increased overall coverage of the status (15 seconds for one necrosis proc vs 20 seconds for two burns). Because burn specifically reduces enemy res by 20, this means that not only does it increase the bonus elemental damage, but it also lets her (and her allies) better apply arts damage as well.

But enough about how it’s really well designed. To figure out how good it is, we still need to look at how it stacks up against her pre-mod state as well as the other units in her archetype. So, let’s look at the numbers:

[These numbers are calculated at max potential and investment for all operators, are for a single target, and were calculated with the average DPS over 25 seconds of skill duration (the duration of both Vina and Vivi’s S3s). I also calculated it with the assumption that both Vina and Surtr would gain the ASPD bonus from not blocking for the entire duration.]

Now, you don’t need a statistics degree to see that wow, Viviana sure does damage now. Against elites with 55-90 res, the mod more than doubles the DPS she was doing before (and at 90 res specifically, more than triples it). Bosses requiring twice the elemental build up does reduce the jump for them, but she still increases her damage against those with 30-85 res by no less than 60% (with that number climbing depending on burn breakpoints, peaking at a 114% increase against 80 res bosses). But it’s not just impressive because of how she compares to her own pre-mod damage, but also how she now stacks up against the other six star arts fighters. Against Elites, she out DPSes Surtr until 80 res, and is either ahead or in a dead heat against her with bosses up to the same threshold. In fact, when the lines are near each other, it is legitimately too close to call. Viviana’s DPS is not linear throughout her skill, but rather peaks with each burn trigger and dips during the burn build up, meaning that for certain enemy HP values, if the peak DPS comes at the right time, she will still be able to take them out before Surtr. Now, it is worth noting that Vina can still out damage both of them starting at 50 res against elites and 45 res against bosses thanks to her true damage, but I don’t think it needs to be said that out DPSing Surtr is a pretty big deal. However, that does begin to touch on each of their respective use cases, as if you’re familiar with Vina’s kit, you might be thinking about that 50sp cost that she has.

For the longest time arts fighters were just the Surtr branch, and unfortunately finally adding a second six star to the archetype did not change that. A well balanced subclass has units with different strengths and weaknesses, each with compelling use cases of their own. And Surtr definitely has her own drawbacks, primarily needing to wait for her 70 second redeployment timer in order to use her S3 a second time. But that was easy enough to work around given that her retreat would free up a deployment slow for another helidrop unit, and her damage was just so good that any drawbacks just didn’t matter; it was always worth it. Sure, if the boss had two phases, she’d be a bit before she could hop back in for round two, but there really wasn’t any competition for how well she could deal with those phases. This threw off the balance of the archetype in a way that I genuinely didn’t think could be altered. Even a very solid unit like Viviana with excellent survivability and skill uptime and good arts damage struggled to find use because that damage just didn’t compare. But now that Viviana’s damage stands up to the other two, finally all three six stars in the archetype have their own niches. Vina has a large sp cost for S3, but is a source of multi-target true damage that makes her indispensable for certain enemies and mechanics; Surtr has to retreat in between skills, but has guaranteed, helidroppable damage thanks to her undying talent, res ignore, and low sp cost; and Vivi is single target and needs to ramp up to reach her full power, but once she does, she has damage that matches or exceeds that of Surtr with 50% uptime and a ton of survivability. This increase in damage, though perhaps more than they really needed to give her (not that I’m complaining), finally lets the other strengths of her kit shine in ways that not even Surtr can replicate (just as she can’t replicate the specific ways in which Surtr or Vina shine).

But where does this leave her? If I’m honest, there’s already a blueprint for this. I’ve watched the community react to Eben’s module; I’ve seen what happens when a unit that’s underrated to begin with and widely regarded as a bottom-tier six star is given high tier damage, but can’t escape the overwhelming initial negative perception. You can already see it in the comments on showcases, and if seeing her out damage Surtr isn’t enough for the redditors et al, I doubt I will be able to change everyone’s minds. And they’re right that she has weaknesses, but let’s talk about how those actually play. There are a few complaints of her kit, but the main ones are that she’s weak off-skill, that she only deals single target damage, and that she needs to ramp up to reach her full potential.

I won’t argue that Viviana is weaker off skill than she is on skill. Most units are. In fact that’s kind of the point: you want a skill to be a big deal. But as a one block unit that can be particularly difficult to manage as it’s a lot easier for enemies to walk past her. However, this mod actually helps with that somewhat as well, as she’s surprisingly good at applying burn even off-skill, meaning that even if she ends up with an elite stuck on her during her (might I remind you: incredibly short) downtime, she can still trigger burn on elites up to 70 res in between skills.

Viviana is also single target only on S3, but that’s a lot less relevant now given that she kills most things so quickly now that it just doesn’t matter. Plus, if enemy numbers are your biggest concern, she has her S2 (which has even better uptime and is also quite good at applying burn, though I’m not doing calculations for that one as it has so much RNG that it’d require me writing a script to simulate it). Additionally, even sticking to just her S3, once you have a strategy for dealing with the map’s elites and bosses, clearing out the trash comes a lot more easily.

The third of these is the most interesting. Because yes, she definitely needs to ramp up to reach her full potential. Her first activation of her S3 only lasts for 15 seconds (as opposed to the subsequent activations’ 25 seconds) and hits enemies twice (instead of three times). Most stages start slowly enough that you have time to get her through that initial cycle early, but in the cases where you don’t, it could be pretty limiting. But, just to focus on that worst case scenario for her for a second, her mod affects that activation too. In fact, well, I think the best way is to just show you.

Depending on the target and its resistance, this initial activation now has an extra 50-100% DPS. In fact, the improvement is so extreme, that it now out DPSes her pre-mod full activation S3 at most res values, even against bosses. Yes, you read that right. The weaker version now has a higher DPS than the pre-mod full version. The total damage will still be lower, as the duration of the skill is shorter on that first activation as well, but it’s still plenty to tear through just about anything a stage can throw at you. For a quick example: with her mod she can clear phase one of the NL-10 Blood Knight on just the initial activation, only seven seconds after being deployed. It’s worth noting that it’s still a far cry from Surtr’s helidrop S3, and this isn’t to say that the ramp up isn’t a weakness, but rather to point out that it’s really not all that hard to work around it, and that the reward for doing so is incredibly high. After all, once that first activation is over, she’s right into her normal rotation, and from then on will be able to do her full damage with just a 25 sp cooldown. No 70 second redeploy required, and even if we ignore the now quite strong initial activation, the 47 seconds it takes for her to reach her full S3 is still less than the 50 sp charge time for Vina’s S3.

So where can you use Viviana? Well, she’ll be great in any casual content, but she already was great at that. Beyond that, elemental damage has been a staple of challenging content like CC and high difficulty IS since it was introduced. For IS, I think it’s worth noting that she scales better with buffs than either of the other six star arts fighters, as any increase to her damage affects both her arts damage and her elemental damage, letting her essentially double up on the benefits. For content like CC, her ability to shred elites and their lower elemental build up bar could also be huge given that pinch out and both CC battleplan events have featured elites as the biggest threats, not bosses (though she would also be very capable against bosses). Because of this I could definitely see there being a spot for her in advanced clears. That said, I do think that this is one of the very few places where her staying deployed might be more difficult to work around. In CC, with reduced deployment limits, it’s pretty common to focus on rotating helidrop damage units rather than keeping units out to recharge skills, but I still wouldn’t count her out entirely. Her damage is still very good, and her ability to negate damage with her shields could be incredibly useful when every enemy hits like a freight train.

In case you couldn’t tell, I think this is a great mod for Vivi. It’s definitely not the only thing they could have done (and arguably they didn’t have to go THIS hard on her damage), but I think it makes her into an even more compelling unit. Yes, she has her weaknesses and this mod doesn’t necessarily eliminate that, but I think she’s a lot more interesting for it. Any well designed unit has a degree of risk/reward to their kit when considering their use, a downside or challenge to manage in order to get the most out of their upside. Mods can either reduce the risk/downsides or increase the reward for managing those. While it strengthens her outside of her full activation, this mod is definitely mostly in the latter category, and I think that is the more interesting direction to go. And for the first time in the game, “who’s the best arts fighter?” isn’t a simple question, and actually requires thought about what situation you’re faced with, and even in my imagined best case scenarios for Vivi, I did not once think that would be the case.