#I'm way too fucking gay wtf

[noh07]

not again

she's really pretty

she's so adorable

her humor is amazing

her courage admirable

she's always so friendly

but knows to say no

when she's happy

her eyes start to glow

i was feeling bad

then was closer to her

it made me feel better

just her atmosphere

she makes me feel

way too comfortable

it's not a crush yet

but fuck, not again

that annoying feeling when you notice a new crush developing at the worst possible time...

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

[looseinthecatroom]

Real talk though;

Can we talk about Sky??

I have many many questions?

(Mostly I just feel bad for her for getting THAT shafted out of literally any independent character??)

Like really, what in the seventeenth circle of fuck was *gestures* her entire plot line/existence?

Genuinely, how is no one talking about this?? Girl is a walking plot thread/plot hole/thematic angle that didn't ACTUALLY get used/black hole of personal autonomy and character development?? What the ACTUAL hell was the idea there??

More rants in the tags. Because my confusion knows no bounds.

[nobodybetterlookatme]

nah cuz I would pass away if someone asked me if I was into them 😭 but CONGRATS ON GETTING THE DATE!! I hate to say we told you so, but we definitely told you so 😌💅

Bro I literally short circuited lmaoooo like it was not cute and I almost died fr. But yeah, date secured ahskaksk y'all were right 😭 it still feels so surreal lmao I'm still vibrating about it

[cassmouse]

100 pages exactly into Paradise Rot, I'm over halfway through, I've only been reading it for like two days, and my only thoughts are 'what the fuck' and 'piss'

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader

F1IQ - Part Two

Y/n: You have issues Charles: Omg you noticed🥹❤️

Max: How tall are you? Yuki: Extremely. Thank you for asking

Lando, apologizing: . . .—-. - / … —.-. .-. -.- Y/n: What’s that? Lando: remorse code Y/n: I’m even angrier now

Lance: So girl what that mouth do Y/n: complain

Christian: Nice ass, sorry about the mental illness Toto: Thank you king

Y/n in drive to survive: If you’re ever losing an argument hit them with the “you just want me.” Max: I’m just saying you are in the wrong and you are yet still stubborn Y/n: you just want me Max: I do and now i need you to listen to me

Carlos: *wearing a turtle neck* Y/n: I heard in the internet that men who wear turtle neck are most likely to be a whore.

Y/n: Wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???? Fernando: What the hell do you do? Y/n: i die? Lmao what kinda question…

Lewis: Bro. I am on my way

Lewis: Sorry for calling you bro you are my girlfriend and i love you

Y/n: I love you too brah

Daniel comforting max: Always here for you bro 🌹🌹🌹

Daniel: Those were flowers btw

Daniel: For our bromance

Y/n: Anyways see you in court

Lance: I get to see youu😍

Oscar: You're a reoccurring guest in my sleep

Y/n: are you in love with me

Oscar: i just see you when i sleep often

Y/n: because you are in love with me

Y/n: i am not normal about this man

Sebastian: You are not normal in general

Y/n: I need a relationship advice

Kimi: break up

Y/n: listen to me first

Y/n: You know you can open up to me anytime

Charles: Okay fine

Charles: Idrk how to explain it it's just i wish i was dead *Y/n liked this message*

Charles: Why the fuck did you like the message

Sebastian: Dinner is ready. Come down and eat.

Sebastian: bring down your lady friend

Y/n: ?? It's my friend charles. He's a boy

Sebastian: Gay. Christian thought it was a chick.

Y/n: well he has pretty face

Sebastian: Gay

Sebastian: Both of you come eat.

Lando: You heard a joke about gas lighter?

Carlos: no

Landos: yes you have

Carlos: No i haven't

Lando: You've literally heard it already

Carlos: I DONT KNOW

Lando: You're crazy

Y/n in drive to survive: Playing among us with a gay is really hard

Charles: Give me the code bitch

Y/n: Waitt

Y/n: SKSJHK

George: Omg what happened

Y/n: BITCH THAT'S THE CODE

Logan: You are really cute

Y/n: Thank youu, you too

Logan: So what do you like?

Y/n: murder

Y/n: Wait you like me??

Y/n: for my personality??

Yuki: i know I'm surprised too

Oscar: You are so annoying

Y/n: But you like me

Oscar: Doesn't make you less annoying

Y/n: So can we talk?

Lando: talk about what?

Y/n: about us

Lando: Why would you want to talk about United State

Lewis: that's it?

Lewis: You done bitching?

Y/n: That was just a warm up

George: THERE IS SO MANY SNACKS IN HERE

Y/n: WHAT SNACK

George: Like hot guys

George: NOT FOOD YOU FAT FUCK

Lance: How come you are abnormally nice to me lately

Y/n: what do you mean

Lance: You seem nicer than usual

Y/n: I'll punch you in the face if you want

Logan: What's up?

Y/n: about to have mental breakdown hbu?

Logan: in the middle of mental break down

Y/n: Why do we fight over stupid shit

Max: cause you say stupid shit

Y/n: baby are you flirting with me?

Logan: yes I'm trying

Logan: i dont even have an idea on what am i doing

[k1mbe3rly]

WAAAAA HAII BESTIE IM BORED SO IM SENDING YOU ANOTHER REQUEST FOR HEADCANONS SQUID GAME WOMEN BC IM SO GAY FOR THEM FR FR 😼

Maybe them having an energetic and reckless s/o but when they're having sex or just making out or wtv she gets super serious ? Idk wtf is this but I'm craving it so 😺

Characters included: Sae Byeok(067) , Ji yeong (240) , se-mi (380) , jun-hee (222) , no-eul (guard 011) , young mi (095)

THANK YOU !! 😽😽

I LUV KITTYSS 😸😸😸 (I'm so random help)

hellurrrr

Squid game NSFW women hc

warnings: smut, little stories for each one basically ⚠️WLW⚠️

-Sae byeok

When Sae byeok started dating you, she was already aware of what she was getting herself into, She did notice your outgoing and talkative personality which attracted her in the first place, so the only one to blame was her. Until yall had sex one day, and you were a complete diffrent person. You were absolutely so serious about it till the point she wondered if you were even her real girlfriend.

When yall makeout, your lips were rough and fast, her lips quickly moving along in sync, her hand traveled everywhere including your pussy, she fingered you while making out as you moaned into her mouth, you than traveled your mouth to her jaw and to her neck and finally lifted up her shirt and roughly sucking on her tits.

- Ji Yeong

Ji yeong was almost the same as you, just more humorous, she liked making cheeky jokes, but most of all when yall had sex she would try to joke around, but you WERE not having it, you were so into it.

As you are her out aggressively she had her hand on your hair a bit panting softly “Holy- fuck baby slow down- your going crazy..fucking fast like uh.. like a train?” she said clearly trying to make a joke but couldn’t really think with your mouth basically eating her only sex soul out of her

- Se-mi (strap on)

Se-mi is kinda the same as Sae byeok, she knew was she was getting herself into the moment she saw you and your friends sneaking into somewhere. In which she didn’t mind your energetic behavior but what she didn’t know was that you were even more energetic in sex.

As you were riding her strap on for at least AWHILE, she was a bit stunned on how long you could go after she fucked you in many diffrent positions, her hands were on your hips following along your hips as they went back and forth, finally at least after 30 more minutes you finally stopped, ever since then she made sure to fuck you even more harder to get you tired out.

- Jun hee

Jun hee is the type to act serious in sex, but she didn’t know that you were serious as well, of course she didn’t mind but she was also serious even out of sex, and you were the complete opposite, she’s dommed you before and she’s used too it so once she finally let you dom her after awhile of begging she was JAW dropped.

You were fingering her like crazy fast, this was probably the loudest she’s ever moaned as she felt your fingers go in and out very quickly, she tried squirming her hips away but you’ve always pulled her closer, and maybe even some pussy grinding had her eyes rolled back

- No eul (strap on)

No eul has always been serious never stopped and honestly never will. She was already used to your friendly behavior and in the relationship yall took things slow, at first yall only made out, but she noticed the way you got completely silent when your making out and not spiting out jokes as you are when you aren’t making out, so when she had sex with you, she wasn’t that suprised.

She was fucking you doggy style as she was biting her lip, she doesn’t really make any sounds during sex so not really a surprise, after awhile of fucking you, her hips got tired as she stopped, panting but still inside you, her eyes widen a bit when she saw you fucking yourself back onto the strap on, your back arched as your ass slightly slams back onto her. She smirked at bit “Fuck you slut.. fucking yourself into me hm? you can’t enough or what?”

- Young mi

Young mi was the shy type, she honestly didn’t really care what you did as long as you stayed with her, she knew about your risky behavior like doing wild things, spray panting buildings, prank calling, or just pranks, maybe even stealing a bit, she obviously backed out when you asked if she wants to do it with you. The most youve probably done with her is eat her out, or she eats you out , you obviously dom her.

She was eating you out as she looked up at you, she heard small pants from you but not moans so that’s what worried her, she lifted her head “A-am i doing good?” she asked concerned you looked down at her and nodded “Yea- yea you are..just keep going” you said slightly shoving her head between your thighs as she quickly went back, she soon realized that you were just serious as hell during intimate moments

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[slut4megantheestallion]

Why are the actors who played lyle and erik menendez so fine a little bit too fine. omg bruh, I wanna talk about a few things about the show. If u don't know who lyle and erik menendez are, they basically killed their parents. They live in a very rich lifestyle and home the dad Jose menendez mol*ested the boys at a very young age to teens he would touch them very inappropriately the mom knew about it and she didn't approach or care and she also was apart of the abuse too, so the brothers killed there parents, honestly the case is so sad and the fact that they'll never be free when there's so much evidence makes it even sadder. #justice for the menendez brothers!!!

Ryan Murphy is so incredibly selfish that he exploited not one but two cases he did that show dahmer, and it caused a lot of backlash for the victims families the fact that Netflix allowed it to happen. He didn't do anything but made money off there trauma and exploited them for money, I watch a few episodes of dahmer and stopped because it made it seem like dahmer was the victim, and it was so trifling to the victims and families.

I'm watching the lyle and erik menendez show, and it's so disrespectful asf to the brothers it spread so many lies and false information. In the end, it made it seem like the parents were victims and the brothers as monsters. Also, wtf is wrong with Ryan Murphy? He made it seem like the brothers had something going on romantically, like really incest? Also made erik gay which he was not by the way and the way he made lyle's character in the show, he made lyle this snobby, typical Rich guy, who's loud, angry, aggressive when in reality he was not.

It's so sad that the brothers and other families are being exploited through their trauma and pain. Fuck Ryan Murphy🖕 but I will say the actors did an amazing job and acted there asses of I will give them that and they put on and amazing performance 👏

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

Marlene and Barty hcs cause why not

(and because i think their friendship would be amazing and way too chaotic)

• they met because of Dorcas

• at first Marlene was a bit scared of Barty cause he loved to say the most unhinged shit ever and look at Marlene's horrified face

• they listen to maneskin together

• gay and lesbian besties

• they paint their nails together

• "OH MY FUCKING GOD BARTY DORCAS JUST SMILED LOOK" "Marls i'm literally next to you wtf"

• "I'm so gay bro" "same"

• "Oh my god look at Evan's hands I want him to fuck me so bad" "Kill yourself"

• "Barts looks the way they're looking at each other" "Yeah they definitely fucked"

• "you suck" "and swallow"

• they also have matching tattoos

• silver jewellery besties

• "Marls isn't that my t-shirt?" "yeah i thought it was cool so i stole it"

• they fight about quidditch (Barty loves to tease Marlene when Slytherin wins and she gets so worked up about it)

• they're unstoppable together and Dorcas regret her life decisions

• they dye each other hair

• they also do their piercings together

• Barty says something in italian and Marlene answers in polish

[mcshizzle-the-fire-boy]

PJO characters as dumb things me and my friends ( bonus one with my parents ) have said part two

Will: what's your type?

Nico: you

Will:

Will: that's sweet but I meant blood type

-

Percy: oh fuck I'm blue now

Percy: but like actually blue

Percy: like a smurf

Percy: being sad's for idiots lmao

-

Leo: everyone hates me lol

Jason: what am I??? like???

-

Nico: and Axl Rose's real name wasn't Axl Rose

Percy: *crying* STOP

-

Will: easiest way to come out to people is tell them that you listen to coldplay

-

Nico: Im gonna fugging krill myself

Annabeth: krill????

Nico: isn't that like a fish or smth

-

Piper: *knocking on Leo's door* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE

Leo: uh shit uh erm uh

Leo: *moans loudly*

-

Will: *joking* we should makeout

Nico: I really wanna

Will: what

Nico: ...

Nico: did I say that out loud

-

Piper: *sobbing* why are penises so ugly

-

Annabeth: math is weirdly calming to me sometimes ngl

Annabeth: *flips page over to read massive paragraphs of words*

Annabeth: *bursts into tears*

-

Will: I just had to help hatch a baby chick

Will:

Will: I'm waiting for applause it was so gross

-

Will: if you drink the water I'll give you a forehead smooch

Nico: *glances at water, thinking*

Nico: nah you wanna give me one anyway

Will: gods dammit

-

Rachel: *GASP* MY SKETCHBOOK

Rachel: MY BABY

Rachel: *kisses it*

-

Hazel: ugh I want someone to fuck me

Hazel: hahah jk that shit's nasty

-

Piper: yeah I've noticed after watching you for a bit that you smile whenever Nico messages

Will: aww that's so swee-

Will: wait why are you watching me

Piper: *stares into his soul*

-

Nico: I miss you

Nico: *replies an hour later* that was a moment of weakness fuck you

-

Will: what if I say "darling" in a seductive voice

Nico: no

Will: u sure?

Nico: I ahdiamdveip dnsjhbksahcblaiwcbjsd-

-

Will: like at first I wanted to be you but then I realized that there's a diffrence between wanting to "be you" and wanting to "be on you"

-

Percy: I'm depressed

Percy: ...

Percy: WAIT I HAVE COOKIES NVM

-

Will: wtf are hickeys??

Will: I'm an experimental learner btw

-

Leo: omg guys look the guitar strings made my finger darker

Leo: *looks at finger* do you like watermelon, sir?

Will: you are so close to being hit in the head

-

Frank: *points* haha you've been fingered

Hazel:

Hazel: love... no

-

Thalia: OMG IM GONNA BE BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS RYAN GULDEMOND

Reyna: technically you already are

Thalia: *passes out*

-

Octavian: ugh I'm so single

Nico: *sighs* me too

Nico:

Nico: WAIT I CANT SAY THAT ANYMORE

Nico: FUCK YEEEEEEEEAH *smashes table*

-

Annabeth: what's ur favourite animal I'm gonna buy you something

Percy: shark but don't waste your money

Annabeth: but my parents told me to spend it on something important

Percy:

Percy: *cries*

-

Will: I'm autism!!

Will: *turns to Nico, wiggle eyebrows* I could be in you

Nico: tism rizz????

-

Frank: I love these drama videos

Reyna: *massive bags under her eyes* why do you want more drama wtf

-

Jason: honestly scared to sit on the edges of chairs at my trans boyfriend's house

-

Percy: *over text* jason are you gay for me

Jason:

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: no gtg

Percy: he's hiding something

-

Piper: don't mean to be heterophobic but why is straight porn so gross

Nico: agreed gay porn is much better

Piper: IM SORRY WHAT

-

Percy: are there any not cool lesbians

Reyna: I mean they probably exsist

Annabeth: no

-

Leo: *sighs sadly* cock and ball torture

-

Will: guys I learnt how to play my favourite song on guitar *starts playing good lookin by dixon dallas*

-

Leo: *playing adopt me*

Leo: chat chat guess what I'm on acid

Percy: KARMA'S A BITCH

Percy: I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER

Leo: wait since when do you play adopt me

Percy:

-

Reyna: yk those yummy smelling shampoos

Nico: yea

Reyna: well I went to walmart and thought I found some and started smelling it but this lady was giving me weird looks

Nico: oh?

Reyna: yeah

Reyna: so uh

Reyna: it was lube

-

Will: hey bbg *winks*

Nico: I will slam you down and makeout with you right now

-

Percy: hi

Jason: hi

*leaves swirl around them*

-

Leo: don't mind me just massaging my clit

-

Leo: NICO GET UR GYAT OVER HERE

Nico: WHAT????

Leo: *points* HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: WHAT DID U SAY

Leo: HOMOSEXUAL TENDANCIES

Nico: OH

Nico: I HEARD SEXUAL TENDANCIES

-

Leo: *singing* coked up dick sucking hoe?

Jason: *walks in*

Jason:

Leo: oh haiiii

-

Leo: how does it feel to be Draco Malfoy

Jason: idk how does it feel to be tweek

Leo: idk pretty good

-

Reyna: you don't deserve it

Percy: yeah I do

Percy: I've been a good boy

Percy:

Percy: jesus I just turned myself on wtf

-

Leo: *in sad voice* I'm a cheeseburger

Jason: a sexy little cheeseburger

-

Will: *gets text from Nico*

Annabeth: SIMP

Will: ???

Annabeth: YOU SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP *has siezure*

-

Will: darling

Nico: *throws phone, screams into pillow, face red* I hate that man

anyway part three will cum ( pun intended )

thanks to @crowwolf8 @justagremlinoncaffeine @localcosplaymushroom @secret-mewtwo and my om and dad for being inspiring an shit

[demelzathemer]

I'm watching the Doom Patrol episode for the first time ever and LOSING MY MIND, why didn't anyone tell me this is GOOD??? It's written by Steve Yockey and it SHOWS because the dialogue is absolutely the same as in the netflix series

Crystal is so catty and Edwin is fed up with people while Charles mediates, they're the same characters just played by different people?? I'm gonna add some shitty screensnaps here to yell about it

Obviously spoilers if you care about that;

Crystal <3 She looks closer to her comicbook self but has the same amount of sass as her netflix self

I swear I'm so normal about this bit of dialogue. Crystal telling Edwin Charles will protect him (with a baseball bat, mind you, they're in the States!) and their responses, I wish I could see Jayden and George act this part.

(I can hear "I'd do it anyway, won't I?" in Jayden's voice... weeps)

Edwin sassing out little girls again??? I lost it with the pose and voice

WEAK FOR THOSE BIG BROWN EYES

(Jayden's voice again. I know you hear it)

He should've been allowed to drape himself over Edwin like this too. Why would Netflix do this to me

"Love this." EDWIN??? He's way too happy that they're gonna smack their client with a shovel.

And CHARLES (pulls it out without anyone asking, he knows what's going to happen next) HANDS IT TO CRYSTAL so she can be the one doing the smacking???

And she's way too eager as well. What is happening here. Though I love how seamlessly they work as a trio now. Even if it's for the purpose of knocking out their unsuspecting client

"The price to open the door to afterlife is pain, and I'm the only one who can do it."

With the door handle being a BABYDOLL HEAD. With HELL FLAHBACKS. What the actual fuck?

I thought the doll spider was netflix original character??

And Charles immediately being "you don't have to do it, we can find another way in" I might be crying

Charles is afraid of water??? That's CANON?? It has to be, nothing has been changed about the characters so far!

Charles (with red-rimmed eyes): "I'm not scared! Just so you know."

Edwin (lying to make Charles feel better): "We know."

They're so in love. But what do you mean with "I'll make sure he's fine"? What are you gonna do, Edwin? Hold his hand on the boat ride? (They didn't show that part, so that's probably what happened.)

They had ONE episode and they still had to make sure that we know Edwin's gay.

I'm OBSESSED with this line and this repressed version of Edwin, I don't have the words right now but I read someone's brilliant analysis about it. (Pls link if you find it)

"I used to think that, too. But it's not 1916 anymore, you know?"

"Well, I'm not like you. But thanks for the concern."

Edwin, oh my god that is so sad. What makes you think you don't deserve happiness? I need to study him under a microscope

...Then STRAIGHT INTO death flashbacks??? They didn't leave anything out, watching this one episode spoils 7 out of 8 episodes of the netflix series?!

"She's good." Edwin appreciates Crystal! I love that they genuinely are a trio here and the boys know about her quirks like they know each other

Also David lore is unchanged too and Crystal bonding with Dorothy was so sweet

...THE NIGHT NURSE IS HERE TOO?? I thought she was a netflix original character too (Cat King, Tragic Mick and Jenny are, at least?)

AND SHE'S RUTH CONNEL??? ALSO WTF JUST HAPPENED

Her character is pretty different alright, and played very differently by the same actress??? And Charles just WENT FOR IT unprovoked?! Do they know about her in this universe, is she like a monster that's actively hunting them down and can be alerted by killing(?) I literally don't know anymore this is crazy

(Edwin was so cute jumping up and cheering lol. A bit jarring how much more he curses here though)

This is actually an insane episode, the trio with their huge amount of lore just drop in in the middle of already established group of characters and their lore and then, they're never seen again after this??

And they had flashbacks to both of their deaths without explaining ANYTHING about what the hell was that. Just five seconds of "being chased and covered in blood", teasing something about their relationship, Crystal dropping her goal of beating her missing memories out of a demon, no conclusion of wtf was "spider-face lady" aka the Night Nurse, etc etc. They needed their own show really badly huh

So netflix hurry up and give us a second season! After seeing this I'm blown away by the execution of Dead Boy Detectives and how Jayden and George really brought the characters to life. I'm so thankful we have that. Their chemistry really is what makes the show.

[joejhang]

every insane thing in arcane season 2 act 3

ep 7 was a masterpiece truly took me out

lowk really funny the way they cut from the happy, (almost) perfect world au to jayce hallucinating and eating raw meat

TIMEBOMB CANON????? lowk didn't see the appeal of it UNTIL NOW WTF WAS THATTTTT

au powder MY GIRLLLLL

dude they yassified silco in the au too. i'm hearing y'all out this time.

HEIMER???? he was such a real one bro

jayce hallucinating mel and viktor and the two of them being interchangeable/intertwined in his mind. which could mean nothing.

also on that note i KNEW everyone was too quick to judge my boy jayce GOD what an interesting character

the "pretend like it's the first time" thing kind of killed me a bit i might've cried a little

it really just proves WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALLLLLL

killing IS a cycle

jinx w her hair out was something i didn't know i needed

caitlyn and jinx's dynamic is SO YUM i need more of their tense interactions

caitvi argument like five mins into the episode lowk gave me life I LOVE ANGST

jinx and vi continue to kill me slowly

everyone who ever said vi gave up on jinx or was a bad older sister i hope u guys CHOKE on ur fucking words

caitvi sex scene...in a jail cell...bro they were wildin

"i saw someone" "i don't fucking care" SUCH A VI THING TO SAY GODDDD I LOVE THEM

they have sm chemistry god

somehow they made mel's character design even more gorgeous than before tf

viktor was lowk wildin but i don't really care i love that man

ngl i was kinda like "viktor baby what ru doing" somewhere in there but i knew they'd work it out

"i'll miss our talks" "no you won't" HAHAHAHHA SKY'S A REAL ONE

jinx boutta khs and then ekko stops her FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH THEY DESERVED MORE SCREENTIME TOGETHER

i knew maddie was sus.

jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon jayvik canon

honestly it would've been less gay if they kissed

everyone is DOOMED oh my god

jinx swooping in to save the day WHO ELSE CHEERED

lowkey i miss her twin tails but i get why she cut them

JINX AND VI FIGHTING TOGETHER AGAIN UGH SISTERHOOD

"i'm always with you sis" IT REALLY IS ABOUT THEM IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM

i actually don't think jinx is dead that scene w cait and the air vents isn't there for no reason

not mad about the open ending tho

SO impressed how they managed to tie so many loose ends together arcane creators you will always be famous

again love the fast pace it does it for me

also cait was looking SO FINE in that last scene i actually gasped when i saw her on screen i love women oh my god

shoutout to caitvi for being the ONLY couple that gets a happy ending in this fucking show

ekko MVP GIVE MY MAN HIS BREAD

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

read more of the good omens book. i am in love with crowley. go away.

I'M DONE WITH THE SECTION WEDNESDAY AND GOD DEAR GOD AND SATAN AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN I AM SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY IT HURTS.

This is exactly why I was petrified of the bloody book. It's going to make the brainrot irredeemably deep. Entire bodyrot, in fact. Even Tommy (yes I named my haematoma Tommy, and he's trans, so he's a he/himatoma) will succumb to the rot.

THE LINE: "RIGHT," MUMBLED CROWLEY, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE. IT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. IT HURTS ME EVERY DAY SINCE I FIRST READ IT, WHICH WAS WHEN I GOT THE BOOK LIKE A MONTH AGO. I OPENED IT AT A RANDOM SECTION AND READ THAT AND PROMPTLY SHUT THE BOOK AND PROCEEDED TO CRY. THAT WAS THE MOMENT I BEGAN TO FEAR THE BOOK.

Aziraphale, you silly, silly, adorable little prissy motherfucker. What a bastard.

Sister Mary Loquacious making up her mind to have an orgasm gives a whole new subtext to my thirst for her during the rewatch of episode one.

RIGHT MUMBLED CROWLEY SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE.

OW.

DOG IS THE BEST THE CUTEST EVER. EVEN WHEN HE WAS BIG AND HELLHOUNDY. HIS CONFUSION AT TURNING SMALL BUT THEN IT BEING OVERRIDDEN BY HIS LOVE FOR ADAM. IT JUST. AWWWWW.

Anathema carries a foot-long bread knife with her. Queen shit.

THE FACT THAT THEY GOT SHOT BY PAINTBALLS AND IMMEDIATELY CROWLEY THINKS HE'S DEAD AND STARTS WORRYING ABOUT PAPERWORK. ALL THAT CLUES HIM IN IS THAT THE BLOOD IS YELLOW. AND THEN HE TASTES IT TO CHECK IF IT'S PAINT WTF CROWLEY.

Warlock's birthday party omg. Aziraphale looking at Crowley desperately for help and Crowley pointedly refusing to meet his gaze because he's cringing from second-hand embarrassment and staring out of the window. I read that bit when I got out of the X-ray for Tommy and it made me smile on a very shit day.

Right mumbled Crowley suddenly feeling very alone.

Okay but ngl Crowley was entirely right? He turned the paintball guns to real guns, but the humans continued to shoot each other even after they realised the switch. Not his fault.

Oh Lord, heal this bike. So it was from the book, too.

Aziraphale being like let's get the fuck outta here before the police come coz I'll morally have to assist them with enquiries is so babygirl of him for real. You little bastard, you.

"A CAR BELONGING TO TWO CONSENTING REPAIRMEN" ah yes "THOSE TWO GAY RANDOS IN THE BENTLEY ARE DEFINITELY HAVING SEX"

I love Aziraphale. Crowley makes a man faint from fear and Aziraphale isn't all that pissed because he's salty about the man ruining his expensive shirt. Oh, Aziraphale.

So attracted to War in an awful way. It makes so much sense how attractive in an awful way she is.

Pouring one out for Mr and Mrs Threlfall of 9, The Elms, Paignton.

"Right," mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone.

Slightly desperate italics is a phrase I didn't know I needed in my life but during my inevitable next war with fucking typefaces, I will definitely use. Fuck I had design work to do for my mum. AH WELL, CROWLEY, CROWLEY, CROWLEY.

In response to watch out for that pedestrian, Crowley says It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking! Crowley supports it/its pronouns, pass it on.

Where do you live my dear? Aziraphale oozed. OOZED. OMG.

RIGHT, CROWLEY MUMBLED, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE.

Everyday, my-homoerotic-tension-and-love-hate-relationship-with-my-copy-of-this-book's a-getting stronger... WHY MUST THAT LINE HURT ME SO MUCH.

[basimdasasonst]

snw spock rant

i've been watching strange new worlds recently, and the prevailing feeling i always leave with, no matter the episode, is that i would like it if not for spock.

don't get me wrong; i'm a tos fan to my core. star trek launched me into a love of sci-fi and space fiction and is the whole reason i'm in university studying astrophysics, why i'm writing a book using said inner astrophysics nerd, why i have any sense of purpose to me, cliche as it is to say. star trek was an integral, important part of my upbringing, and continues to be one of my main interests to this day. i love jim (and i love snw jim! especially after aos kirk (shudders)) and i love bones (i really hope he joins snw soon....leonard mccoy save us....save us leonard mccoy...) and i love scotty and i love spock. but not snw spock.

here's the thing about spock: his internal character conflicts have always had some sort of root in him being not enough/not vulcan enough/not human enough/etc. his struggles with relationships as a result – because, lets face it, both humans and vulcans are social creatures and need friends otherwise society as a whole wouldn't be a thing on either world – make up a core part of his character. in tos, his relationship struggles were nearly purely platonic, with a few offhand remarks about stray crew members having crushes on him (uhura in early first season, chapel in amok time). 

s1e4 "the naked time". spock, right before losing his figurative Marbles, sees "love mankind" written on a wall. later, he goes on to say to jim: "when i feel friendship for you, i'm ashamed." other posts have done and will do better jobs of explaining it, but in conjunction with "sinner" written on the turbolift near jim (about not being able to form lasting relationships with other crewmates because its too much of a power imbalance), the writing on the wall (literally) is that spock is inherently ashamed of his humanity. he has been raised on vulcan to be a vulcan.

his internal conflict is always about him struggling with his human side. he struggles with friendship, he struggles with his humanity, he struggles to be something that people don't immediately deem wrong. as a gay man, and certainly as a young queer child first watching tos, i felt closest to spock not just because of feeling ashamed of part of my cultural heritage, but also because of repression. spock represses these feelings of insecurity, of friendship, of the need for connection in others in a certain way, so much that it causes him pain. growing up gay, his pain was very real to me. writing on the wall. he’s silly and a cool character of course, but he resonated with me in a way that, at the time, i didn’t have anything to resonate with. 

what does this all have to do with me hating snw spock so much? i want to preface this by saying i went into snw really wanting to love it. i saw the intro and the planets and the nebulae and the black hole and the music and was like "damn, this is fucking cool." star trek, to some part of me, was also about the space exploration aspect as much as the characters. the whims of wacky crewmembers and sentient rocks. the impossibly infinite things nature can form on its own. snw looked fun. i really wanted to like it. and you know what? i almost like it.

except for spock. quite literally the only character i have any quarrels with is spock. dehydrated, glistening, oiled up spock. wtf. why is he in a relationship with t'pring? why does he (almost) cheat on her with chapel? and why chapel??????????? chapel has a one-sided (VERY CLEARLY ONE SIDED) crush on him in tos. why is it two sided now. 

what, and i can't stress this enough, the fuck? 

and don't come into my house and tell me "oh you know, it makes sense, because, because then spock gets all hard and Logical and shuts himself off and obviously the reason for that is a breakup–" No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no no no no. i don't care if it makes “sense” it feels so intrinsically wrong to his character. i’ve had much more character development from losing life-long friends than ending barely a year long relationships. spock wouldn’t immediately shut down because he kissed a girl once and then she said “acshually sowwy my work is more important” when that’s the exact sentiment he echoed to t’pring when they broke up.

more importantly, snw spock barely has friends. he calls pike a friend once or twice, but i hardly believe that they're friends. he barely interacts with la'an or erica, he has a few passing conversations with uhura in season 1 on episodes about her that don't really carry into season 2, and otherwise he's just There. he doesn't have friends in snw. the writers are prioritising him having a romantic relationship over a friendship. snw spock needs a friend way more than he needs a bone buddy. and it really rubs me the wrong way the way the relationship with chapel was portrayed to be first friendly and then romantic. i never believed for a second that he and chapel were friends – despite the screenwriters trying. every time they talked prior to s2e5 there was this odd undercurrent of sexuality that seemed to follow them. lingering looks, touching fingertips, long pauses – it was so unbelievably awkward and obvious that they were setting up a relationship between the two. i mean, for fucks sake, s1e1 uhura calls chapel "spock's girlfriend." boy did my blood boil when i figured out that was where the show was going. s1e5 was actually painful for me to get through (chapel sits down, gives spock relationship advice, giggles, smacks him upside the head, and calls him an idiot. 2017 wattpad is calling, they want their material back) and i had to take two full days to get through s2e5 because i was in anguish the whole time. it was a constant mental barrage of "spock wouldn't say that," and "spock wouldn't do that," and "this is not spock."

for the most part, i couldn't figure out why spock and chapel's relationship specifically bothered me so much. i mean i have my quarrels with la'an and jim, and i really don't give much of a care about pike and batel so why was spock and chapel grating on me so badly? was it because it was being shoved in my face? was the writing that much more atrocious than the others? was it the decimation of spock's character?

it was, i found, a product of all of those and the issue of queerness. 

look; i've survived sherlock bbc, i’ve survived the golden age of quotev fandom in 2016, i've bared witness to so much queerbaiting in my life that i don't even bother trying to hope for any sort of main character queer representation anymore. we’re going to be a footnote until someone does something about it. unfortunately, that’s not going to be me because i’m not a film director. so i look the other way and steam about it on twitter or tumblr or whatever hoping that i, like many other frustrated queer people, get noticed one day in the far future when it’s ok to have a queer romance in mainstream, it’s ok to have a queer main character, and it’s ok to let it simmer slowly and burn instead of jumping into it to say “look guys we’re woke!!!!!” (star trek literally was the pioneer for most of these things back in the day. but that’s another discussion on the heterosexualisation of progressive media that i wont get into. it just feels bitterly funny that this is happening to star trek of all things.) these days i just pretend the relationships dont exist and skip over them when they happen. i've developed a sixth sense for when weird, forced heterosexuality is about to be shoved down my oesophagus. i've just gotten used to it. 

but sphapel (or whatever it's called) burned through me. i've never felt quite this angry at an on screen relationship. and, trust me, i saw AOS. i didn't like spuhura then and i don't like it now but i wasn't angry so much as i was just tired and annoyed. but spock was – and always is to me, confused, queer 10 year old me – a queer character. his struggle with humanity, with friendship, with fitting in, with just being as a perceived "other" was what made him an interesting character to me to begin with. he was a certain outlet to vent that frustration for being "wrong" in society no matter how hard you try to conform one way or another. the knowledge that even if you are different, you still have people backing you up. his fucking friendships, guys. jim and bones. yes i know his friendship with jim is also inherently romantic dont worry im spirk #1 shipper but that’s not relevant here because, and forgive me for being pessimistic, i don’t believe for a second that these writers are going to lean into spirk anytime soon. their relationship went beyond friendship or romance or any of that stuff. coughs in the roddenberry footnote.

what i’m trying to say here, in layman’s terms, is that giving a friendless character a romantic relationship is exactly how you alienate a character. name one person you know in real life that can survive healthily with one single relation, that being their romantic partner that they have no friendly base of. you can’t. that’s a toxic relationship. that’s not romance, that’s alienation. that’s isolation. that’s loneliness. and that’s the OPPOSITE OF WHAT EXPLORING SPOCK’S HUMAN SIDE IS SUPPOSED TO DO TO HIM .

by stripping spock of his friends, and forcing his arc to be purely romantic, you have essentially stripped the character of all he is. i'd be mad if chapel was a dude, too, honestly speaking. but beyond that, corralling spock of all people into a heterosexual romantic relationship is – well. it's a choice i don't think i can ever agree with. the best way i can describe such a choice is like a dissonant chord – you can pluck the notes and they'll sound fine on their own, but when you put them together they will clash. there is nothing you can do with your fingers to play the same notes and not cause the clash. they will always clash. it is dissonance ringing through you, an inherent wrongness coupled with writing that is lazy and clearly meant for a very specific audience. snw spock is bad writing, fanservice, and extraordinarily out of character. notes i can tolerate on their own, but strung together – dissonant.

i really want to like snw. fuck, i love la'an, i love erica, i love jim (!!! thank you paul wesley for making him a nerd, and kind (glares at AOS), and generally a jim kirk that i can look at and say, "yeah, that's jim alright"), i love uhura, i love una, i love m'benga and i love pike but i hate spock. i really, truly, cannot like snw when i have to pause the show and take an irritated deep breath in every time i see chapel approach spock. it's – frustrating, and alienating, and wrong. so, so wrong. 

[showsandstuff]

Am I the only one who is disappointed with Caitvi in season two? When I watched the first season I had the biggest caitvi brain rot because they actually gave me SUCH a fun dynamic with them. Buddy cop Caitvi was hilarious, I loved that so so much!

And season 2 started of strong imo but then it rushed through everything. I loved the scene in the cell, obviously, but it was misplaced. Your sister is about to kill herself girl what are you doing this is not the time!! And other than romantic and sexual tension there wasn't all that much left of their previous dynamic aside from the brief scene in episode six...

Idk, I think I'm just annoyed. Usually when I see a non canon gay ship get more traction than the Canon lesbian couple, I just assume it's misogyny or lesbophobia, and move on with my life. But I can't even do that here because Caitvi was WAY more popular in season 1 (as they should).

Jayvik isn't getting somewhat more popular in season 2 because people don't like lesbians, but because their arcs are connected so strongly to each other. (Also I'm not saying that Jayvik is now more popular than Caitvi, but it's like a graph where the super high stocks caitvi are still even while Jayvik is skyrocketing rn)

Wanna know why Jayvik wasn't all that popular in season 1? Because (after act 1) their arcs were mostly separate, safe for a couple of moments. Viktor worked on his body and Jayce was doing politics.

Caitlyn and Vis arcs intertwined more, they actually did shit together and it was beautiful, funny, romantic, EVERYTHING!

Also a fun opposites attract buddy cop dynamic is also just more fun than men who do science together (in my personal opinion)

Now let's look at Caitlyn and Vis relationship in season two.

It starts of strong. I momentarily thought that Caitlyn was uncharacteristically mean to Vi when she refused to become an enforcer, but she apologized for it later and I recognized the fact that Caitlyn was grieving. Then once we get to episode two and three I could already feel their relationship being a bit more odd. The kiss (though I cheered) didn't feel right. I felt like something was missing, and that was their chemistry from season one. Also I feel like we glossed over too many decisions that Caitlyn made, and I think Vi should've put a stop to it sooner. But overall I was okay with them in act 1.

Then we had a timeskip and the two were fully separated. Act 2 literally started with Caitlyn in bed with another woman, like we can see they're not together anymore. Caitlyn has obviously changed, there is not much of the sweet cupcake left that we had come to love in season 1, and Vi is boxing and getting drunk.

Then they meet and like... Vi calls Cait cupcake, and Cait switches sides IMMEDIATELY? GIRL WTF?!

I get that Caitlyn wasn't entirely on Ambessas side the entire time, but I had hoped for more drama first. So you're telling me the very next interaction the two have after their heart wrenching falling out is them making up again? Come on.

Then we had act 3 and overall it was better I think but the timing of their hot scene in the cell was just odd, like what about your sister about to kill herself? I was very happy and hyped in the moment but then I realized how rushed this was. Why? Why make em fuck right here? And in the final act, the two weren't together because again, their arcs were not as connected. And that's actually pretty cool to have a couple who do their own things! But it doesn't help their relationship when they, in turn, aren't given enough time to develop as a pair!

I feel like season 1 did this incredible job of setting these characters up, showing us why they work so well together and why they would fall for one another. And season 2 gave us pay off for it but with very little set up, which was needed because of how Cait changed throughout the season. I don't mention Vi here because she did not change. She had her drunk boxing phase, which we got nothing but a montage off, but everything else is basically season 1 Vi aside from very few things here and there. Like her becoming an enforcer wasn't a character change for Vi, her finally letting go of powder and calling her sister Jinx, wasn't a big character moment for Vi, they were pay off for a set up we didn't get enough of.

SO TO GET TO MY POINT:

S2 was rushed. We should've AT LEAST gotten 3 seasons, like minimum, because there was a whole lot of plot and very little moments in between for characterization. Especially for Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship to each other.

I still generally prefer Caitvi to Jayvik, but only because of season 1. Season 2 gave me the two things I wanted most (a sexy scene and a kiss) but forgot to give me the things that made me fall in love with this ship in the first place.

Which was the hilarious buddy cop dynamic of rich girl cop Cait, and broke butch prisoner Vi.