#I’ve learned from experiences

[nina-ya]

DILEMMAS I don’t know if I should write this law fic on work on personal things

[i-really-like-phrogs]

When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy

[ozziyo]

Dove Ingellvar posting because look how precious she is actually. resting :c face

[sinistersuns]

i think we gotta be more careful about falling into the trap of placing heaps of blame on the most vulnerable groups around us because it’s easier, emotionally or otherwise, than going after those in power. like i mostly talk about transandrophobia right now and how transmascs get so much shit thrown at us because were easier to attack than cis people, and i’ve seen people do the same thing to transfems and NBs too. to me it’s extra disappointing when it’s someone who is vocally supportive of transmascs doing it (like generalizing all transfems as being hostile to transmascs/being transandrophobic). it’s of course important to talk about inter community issues and point out harmful behaviors and ideologies when we see them, and talk about how someone’s life experience might lead them to be that way, but singling out one type of trans person as The Culprit is not helpful and just feels like it further drives a wedge into our community. we may be able to perpetuate aspects of the transphobic systems cis people put in place, but none of us are responsible for them and we don’t benefit from them, past surface level “acceptance” from people who’d be more comfortable if one type of trans person or all of us didn’t exist at all

[the-woman-upstairs]

It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

[corellianhounds]

Idk why everyone thinks Crosshair was the chaotic misbehaving brother as a cadet. Mr. “Good soldiers follow orders” even without the chip? Mr. “Loyal to the Empire” even after they destroyed all Kaminoan cities and facilities and didn’t care enough to come back and see if there were any survivors? Mr. “Not immediately swayed by emotional convictions” even when they belong to those closest to him who he should trust above unseen authorities?

Even if you think obedience and compliance was hammered into him by those in charge and he had to learn to keep his head down or face the consequences, that doesn’t explain why it takes him so long to eventually accept the truth, despite the mounting empirical evidence he receives after the most dire possible circumstances that should show him that those in charge are wrong. It isn’t until Mayday’s death that Crosshair finally accepts the truth because it’s then that he’s being directly told by the people in charge that he and everyone like him is expendable and unnecessary.

Somebody with a rebellious youth is much more critical of authority figures even if they’re presently obeying them, and they’re much more ready to drop said authorities the second it’s a viable option and they physically can. Crosshair doesn’t behave like a dog that’s been beaten its whole life, he’s constantly making active decisions not only to follow the Empire but to enforce what the Empire dictates, even when he’s the one reaping the direct consequences of pushback on the ground for it. Because that’s what good soldiers do.

This guy was the kid following the rules by choice and getting mad at the others for finding loopholes or accomplishing things the ‘wrong’ way, especially if and when it got all of them in trouble (because they were kids and wouldn’t have always been right). Rules and structure are there for a reason. We’ve been here less than ten years, what on earth makes you think we know more than the people in charge? Why do I have to be punished because you guys couldn’t do as you were told?

To me the four of them (and Echo later) are a sliding scale when it comes to decision-making based on head vs heart. Crosshair and Tech are on one side, using logic and reason over emotion as their basis for decision-making and how they see the world, and Echo and Wrecker are more on the heart/instinct side of reasoning, putting people and ideals ahead of simply accomplishing objectives despite what the odds might be against them. Hunter’s the balance in the middle, being able to see both sides and weigh what the best option is based on the evidence and the context within which it’s being given. All of them have different fluctuating percentages of what’s going to motivate or drive them day by day, just based on the context of their circumstances, but that’s the general scale.

I think Hunter as a kid probably realized if he could get all of them to learn the rules as quickly as they could, then they’d know how to break them effectively with the least amount of repercussions and collateral damage. They were an experimental group for a reason and were likely given a modicum of wiggle room when it came to problem-solving, the Kaminoans not just allowing but pushing them to be more creative, flexible, and adaptable. They all know the hard rules of structure, chain of command, and behavioral compliance, but after that they’re given more freedom of choice. Their personal convictions inform both the why and how of following orders.

Wrecker is easier to figure out because he wears every thought and emotion on his sleeve and sees no reason not to. He’s more of a follower— Thinking is for other people, he’s a busy guy and man of action, give him something concrete with actionable directions and he’ll accomplish it with aplomb.

Tech, as a kid, likely knew both the spirit and letter of the law, which means he could see problems and solutions objectively regardless of his personal feelings/opinions and knew that rules are there to be guidelines: No structure is perfect and always following rules exactly was never going to always be the right decision. He would choose whichever seemed like the most logical, obvious route to success, finding loopholes and workarounds where he could as a means of balancing the consequences or fallout of said decision.

Hunter also knew both the spirit and letter of the law, but he was able to read situations and people better than Tech was, relying more on his gut instinct to tell him what the best course of action would be, even if that choice wasn’t the most logical. He’s a mediator and the best choice of leader because of his ability to get people working together by knowing how to convince each of them in their own way that this plan will accomplish their objective AND lead to the most amount of people being satisfied/happy in the end, them included. Despite the fact Hunter’s more reserved, he’s still a people person. It just happens to come from empathy, observation, and instinct, the latter two being qualities he was designed to specialize in.

Crosshair obeyed the letter of the law because structure exists for a reason and if that structure has yielded the best results and most success for the longest amount of time, then it’s obvious it must be the right one in place. Loopholes can be taken advantage of, but only when there isn’t an explicit wording against it or there is clear and mounting evidence that the rule doesn’t apply to him. To deviate from the majority in matters of how something is achieved is acceptable; to do so in matters of why is not.

[susansontag]

ocd is such an aggravating illness and I really don’t want to judge someone who is suffering because it’s not like I’m recovered as we all know. but I am at least functioning (I wasn’t always), and I at least never lie to myself about what my problem is. I own my stuff, I know I am not special or somehow the only person who all this shit I worry about is actually true for.

I wasn’t a sociopath, I wasn’t a would-be serial killer, I wasn’t enamoured with violence, I wasn’t a god whose everyday rituals around my house could cause unrelated events to happen to me or others, I wasn’t exposed to a dangerous chemical substance that was slowing eating away at my body, I wasn’t permanently dirty, and I knew when there was a devastating hurricane in japan after I had resisted a compulsion earlier that day to organise something in my room by thinking “yeah right, what next, you won’t do this and there’ll be a hurricane in japan later?” that I was not the one who had caused the hurricane, even though my heart felt like it skipped a beat when I switched on the news.

there is nothing new about having an obsession with morality, criminality, violence, sexuality, any of it. they are in fact so typical of ocd they’re almost prototypical. you can keep yourself sick by going round in circles in your head, or you can recognise and own up to having a very treatable anxiety disorder. tough love is the only thing that works with some people unfortunately. but you’re not more special than anyone else with ocd, not more damaged, not the only person who has ever thought “okay, but what if it actually is true for me?????” no. only you can decide to make your life more bearable, as many have before, as many (me included) are doing now. stop resisting every time someone tries to help and start listening.

[joe-spookyy]

herm i just realized if i want to actually date this girl i have oodles of internalized homophobia stuff to get over because i mean. to my family i’m not really much of a guy so this would just. be gay. which i’m ok with in theory but not really in the way they’d perceive it. and just the idea of introducing a girlfriend to my family (esp extended) makes me squirm it does not sound good to me

[weaselishmcdiesel]

.

[lesbiheon]

had to dedicate an entire page to hyungwon in my journal today 💚

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been shaky and sick all day which of course means it’s the perfect time to draw a scuffed Juliet Library of Ruina sprite

[bunnykitty13]

i really only rework demon of amber scenes nowadays it’s pretty much complete writing wise. at this point im just waiting for my body to agree with starting a comic full time (being someone who has never really drawn a page by page comic)

[letswonderspirit]

Some digital gesture studies from my gesture drawing class!

[bluehexagone]

Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on

[daydreamerdrew]

Marvel Comics Presents (1988) #82

[hatchetation]

Thinking about Laura Peterson saying “we are our actions” and the implications of that for the immense betrayal she feels from Bradley 😭😱