#sorry I thought who am I to judge but actually it’s important for people to hear and internalise

[trainsinanime]

Also let’s be real here: Writers are not 100% rational. Writing is a scary thing. You take all your experience, your research, your education (formal or self taught), your creativity and your taste and try to turn that into a document that doesn’t suck. And then you do something even scarier: You share this deeply personal thing that represents part of yourself with the world, so it can judge this work, and by extension, you. You’re putting yourself out there with your deepest thoughts and going, “is this any good?” That is really damn scary.

And yes that isn’t fully rational, of course the opinions of the wider world don’t actually matter, of course your work has value even if you’re the only one who likes it. All fanfic writers know that. With experience, some of them may even start to actually believe that. But still, you will find yourself posting something and going, “only X kudos? Did this one suck? Am I getting worse as a writer? Should I stop?” That’s just because you care. If you didn’t, you’d never have posted.

I’m sure this looks silly from the point of view of a professional influencer or marketing executive or whatever, who sees it as a number's game and believes that the content they produce doesn’t actually matter that much. (It can be useful to keep that perspective in mind at times, e.g. that post that's been going around about how generally only 1% or whatever it was of people who liked something will interact with it on the internet, fanfic or not) But fanfic is one of the areas that are not dominated by this corporate mindset and I wouldn't like for it to be.

Sorry for rambling I think the important part to remember is this: If you're not a writer you probably have no idea how much a comment, or at least any sign you liked it, really means. You can make people so, so happy with just a single "I loved this".

I really don't understand how "without getting kudos or comments a fanfiction author is going to assume that people who clicked their fic didn't like it" became a controversial take.

I don't know why some people think an author should imagine, or guess that people who click their fic enjoyed it it when nobody is telling them that.

If you're re-reading a fic constantly, or leaving it up in your tab so that it re-loads every day for a hundred days the author is not going to know that unless you tell them. They'd love to hear it. It would make their day.

And if you don't tell them you liked their fic, there's no reason for them to assume you did.

[susansontag]

ocd is such an aggravating illness and I really don’t want to judge someone who is suffering because it’s not like I’m recovered as we all know. but I am at least functioning (I wasn’t always), and I at least never lie to myself about what my problem is. I own my stuff, I know I am not special or somehow the only person who all this shit I worry about is actually true for.

I wasn’t a sociopath, I wasn’t a would-be serial killer, I wasn’t enamoured with violence, I wasn’t a god whose everyday rituals around my house could cause unrelated events to happen to me or others, I wasn’t exposed to a dangerous chemical substance that was slowing eating away at my body, I wasn’t permanently dirty, and I knew when there was a devastating hurricane in japan after I had resisted a compulsion earlier that day to organise something in my room by thinking “yeah right, what next, you won’t do this and there’ll be a hurricane in japan later?” that I was not the one who had caused the hurricane, even though my heart felt like it skipped a beat when I switched on the news.

there is nothing new about having an obsession with morality, criminality, violence, sexuality, any of it. they are in fact so typical of ocd they’re almost prototypical. you can keep yourself sick by going round in circles in your head, or you can recognise and own up to having a very treatable anxiety disorder. tough love is the only thing that works with some people unfortunately. but you’re not more special than anyone else with ocd, not more damaged, not the only person who has ever thought “okay, but what if it actually is true for me?????” no. only you can decide to make your life more bearable, as many have before, as many (me included) are doing now. stop resisting every time someone tries to help and start listening.

[emo-batboy]

Battinson Guest Starring on TV Shows

SO

For someone who holds the title of Richest Man in the World, Bruce doesn’t do a lot of traveling.

Which is to say he does a LOT of traveling, but he always tries to find a way out of it.

(Are there bat-related reasons for this? Are there people-related reasons for this? Are there anxiety-related reasons for this? Who knows?)

But partners and sponsors aren’t always going to tolerate his hermit-like tendencies. So once every month or so, Alfred wrangles Bruce into a private jet and sends him off to who knows where so he can represent the company.

Usually, it’s somewhere close on the East Coast, maybe it’s across the pond, even Asia isn’t off the table, but the rarest place to spot Bruce Wayne is actually the West Coast of the US.

One day, it is announced that Bruce Wayne will be spending two (count ‘em, 2) consecutive weeks in California with his kids for some grand business convention.

The West Coast media goes feral with the news, ESPECIALLY interviewers. And because Bruce kicks up such a fuss this time, Alfred has the gall to sign him up for FOUR TV appearances.

Here are these appearances :)

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Drag Queens, especially Drag Race all-stars, contribute to a wide variety of charities

So on a new episode, the queens are challenged to design and shoot a promotional ad for their own charity

And who better to act as a guest judge for this episode than the show’s largest benefactor, CEO of the Wayne Foundation, Bruce Wayne?!

Physically? He’s older than half of the contestants. But spiritually? He screams Baby Gay.

Fifteen minutes into the episode, Bruce is welcomed into the werkroom where he gives them pointers on their campaign. He’s in his cute little three-piece suit (Alfred’s idea) with the intention of looking put-together and knowledgeable. But that’s not the only outcome.

They all flirt with him. Everyone, single or taken. The confessionals are so thirsty.

“He’s lucky the cameras are on. Otherwise, I’d eat him up faster than a bachelorette party in a buffet line.”

“My celebrity crush is talking to me, and all I can focus on are his gorgeous eyes. How am I supposed to know what he's saying?”

Of course, they shoot their shot, but most of it is joking since they don't know he's bi yet.

“Are you single, honey?” Bruce blushes. “It’s complicated.” “Well, I’ll make it simple for you.”

We all know this man can't handle being flirted with. We saw how he froze when Selina did it. It’s like he mentally bluescreens when someone calls him a pet name.

Only THEN do they learn he's bi

One of the queens jokingly asks him, “Ever been with a man before?” thinking it would be a firm no, but Bruce says, “Actually, yes.” “Oh shit, really?” And to Bruce’s embarrassment, the whole room hears him.

The flirting is thus taken up a notch.

On the main stage, Bruce has a lot of great constructive criticism. He talks about how to find the right audience, the importance of a good slogan, and even goes on a little rant about logo design.

(You cannot convince me that Bruce hasn’t hyperfixated on the business of charity work before. Or the science of marketing. They’re his favorite business topics.)

After about three minutes of him complimenting one contestant for their Drag Library pitch, he stops himself mid-sentence and says, “Oh sorry, am I talking too much?” “No, please! Keep talking, sweetheart.” Bruce covers his face to hide his blush. “Why is everyone flirting with me?” “Baby, have you seen yourself?”

While the judges deliberate, RuPaul mentions Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Bruce nods along for a while then suddenly just blurts out, “Wait, does it spell ****?”

The judges pause then burst out laughing. “Oh no, we’ve traumatized him!" Bruce is blushing up a storm. “I just never thought about it like that!” “Sweet, innocent Bruce. We’re so sorry.”

It’s later revealed that Bruce offered to help some of the queens launch their charity projects through the Wayne Foundation.

It’s v cute 🥰

Nailed It!

I love Nicole Byer.

She is Mother.

In all seriousness, she’s so fucking funny and she’s personable enough to pull Bruce out of his shell a bit.

The theme for this episode is Found Family. Three pairs of family members compete together—a gay father and his adopted son, an aunt who adopted her niece, and a stepfather and stepdaughter.

Because Bruce Wayne famously adopted two children, he is invited to guest judge.

So Nicole opens the episode with a zinger, the contestants are introduced, and Bruce is welcomed onto the judge’s panel beside Nicole and Jacques.

(Yes, Bruce does speak French. Yes, Nicole makes a joke about it being hot.)

Nicole: “We were surprised you accepted our invitation, Mr. Wayne. You’re notorious for staying on the East Coast. What brought you to the Nailed It! Studio?” Bruce: “My children love this show. They always tell me I should be on it since I’m so bad at baking.” Nicole: “Really? Maybe we should do a celebrity season of Nailed It! and have you compete.” Bruce: “No, you should not.”

Nicole: “So, Bruce, I know you have a butler at home who bakes for you. But what’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten? Escargot? Bad caviar?” Bruce: “I drank olive oil straight from the bottle once.” Nicole: “…What?”

The problem for Bruce is he can’t say anything bad. It just feels mean :(

(And he would rather jump into oncoming traffic than gamble with a social interaction)

For the first challenge, the contestants make cake pops. But when Bruce tries the first one, there is a sickening crunch. Bruce’s eyes widen for a second and he slowly chews.

Nicole: “What was that? Bruce, are you okay?” Bruce, clearly struggling: “It’s…good.”

“Bruce, you can spit it out. It’s okay.” “I already swallowed it.” “Oh, you poor thing.” Bruce chokes for a second, and Nicole pats his back. “Please don’t die. We can’t afford it.”

For the big challenge, production has a surprise in store for Bruce.

Dick (9) and Jason (7) run onto the set and smother Bruce with a hug.

It’s adorable. Bruce no longer cares about paying attention, okay? His kids are here :D

The two boys read from cue cards to announce the second challenge: a three-tiered Gotcha Day cake. And as per tradition, the winner of the first challenge gets a leg-up.

This time, it’s a Helping Hands Button. When they hit the button, Dick and Jason will run over and help them for three minutes. (While being supervised, of course.)

As the contestants bake, Nicole says hello to Dick and Jason, who are clambering all over Bruce like a jungle gym. They both shake her hand and talk about how they love the show.

Nicole looks pointedly at the two empty chairs beside Bruce. “You know, we brought these chairs for you two to sit in.” Dick, on Bruce’s shoulders: “We’re fine, Ms. Byer!” Nicole: “Ms. Byer? Oh, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?”

Just ten minutes before the challenge is over, the Helping Hands button is pressed, and Dick and Jason are given stools so they can help the aunt and niece stack their cake tiers.

Two minutes in, the aunt instructs them to let go of the cake. But the moment Jason pulls his hands away, the cake topples over and covers him in frosting. Jason, whispering: “Oh f*ck.” Bruce: “Jason!” Jason: “I didn’t say that! Dick did!” Nicole: *cackling as Bruce buried his face in his hands*

Jason gets cleaned up, and Dick helps them stack what can still be salvaged.

When Wes brings out the trophy, he’s dressed as Batman. Dick and Jason gets a kick out of that.

Celebrity Family Feud

Bruce was invited to the show after his SNL skit went viral a few months ago

This episode, the teams are split up by cities they grew up in. Gotham v. Star City. Naturally, his team is playing for the Wayne Foundation.

It’s a pretty odd cast of people, most of them having moved to LA or Hollywood. Bruce is the only one to still live in Gotham.

They have fun, though, despite their limited common ground. The audience has a few good laughs.

(Some at Bruce's expense)

Harvey: You're a very wealthy man, Mr. Wayne. What do you really do in that tower all day? Bruce: I, uh…business? Harvey: …You business. Bruce: ……Wait-

All in good fun. Bruce just vibes in his little corner until he needs to answer a question. It's pretty chill.

For exactly half of the episode.

Then it happens.

Steve Harvey takes two people from each team up to the buzzer and says, “We asked 100 people: Name something your parents always told you as a kid.”

What the production failed to consider is how this particular question might be a sensitive topic for some contestants.

Bruce’s team gets the question, and Steve saunters up to Bruce, completely oblivious.

“Alright, Bruce Wayne!” Bruce nods awkwardly. “Hi, Steve.” “Bruce, what’s wrong? You’re looking a bit uncomfortable.” “…I don’t like this question, Steve.” “Why not?” Bruce just gives him a desperate look, and it clicks. “Oh! Oh my gosh!”

Let’s be real. Bruce is awkward enough, but Steve Harvey cannot save an awkward moment for his life either.

But he tries his best anyway and asks, “Are you okay with answering this question, or would you like to pass?” Bruce nods frantically. “I can answer. ‘I love you.’” “I love you too, Mr. Wayne.” “No, uh, my answer is ‘I love you.’” “Oh! That’s a good one.”

Thankfully, the audience erupts in laughter. That little interaction cuts the tension, and Bruce’s answer ends up on the board.

And by god, the memes

“I love you too, Mr. Wayne” is the new “Enjoy your meal.” “You too.”

The audio clip of “I don’t like this question, Steve” goes viral on TikTok

Someone gets a pic of Bruce and Steve looking at each other with palpable fear in their eyes, and it makes its rounds all over Twitter

10/10 never again

Running Wild with Bear Grylls

Now this is the most challenging. Not because it’s difficult, of course. But because Bruce has to look stupid enough to maintain his Brucie Wayne persona but smart enough to keep himself safe.

For this episode, Bear takes Bruce to the California desert.

“How much do you know about survival, Bruce?” Bear asks. Bruce nods carefully. “I did some survival training once with a friend from boarding school.” “Oh really, how did you do?” “Fine, I think.”

This is, of course, his way of saying I trained with a league of assassins for years, but Bear can’t know that! And that’s how most of the episode goes.

Thank god Bruce's fear of being caught is mistaken for being scared of the physical challenge because every time Bear points out how well he’s doing, he breaks into a sweat.

Bear: For a businessman, you’re surprisingly fit. Bruce, sweating bullets: Oh, this is all just for show.

Bear: Wow, you’re a natural. Are you sure you’ve never set up a zip-line before? Bruce, gripping his equipment so tight he gets rope burn: I think it’s just the survival instincts.

Of course, he pretends to be out of breath a few times. The Drama.

Bruce, pretending to slip and fall: Ouch! Who knew the outdoors were so dangerous? Bear, you are crazy. Bruce, internally: How much longer are we doing this?

Bruce being a vegetarian is actually a point of contention. You see, Bear always makes their celebrity guests do something crazy for food like skin a snake or eat a mouse. Scavenging for berries just doesn’t grab the audience’s attention.

But do you know what is vegetarian?

Bear: Now, in extreme cases of survival, it’s not rare for humans to resort to drinking their own pee. That’s what we’ll be doing in a moment. Are you up for it? Bruce, visibly repulsed: I’ve had Gotham tap water. I’ll be fine.

How on God’s Green Earth did Alfred convince him to do this?

To get to the extraction point, Bear takes Bruce down a cliffside.

Bear shows Bruce the meticulous process of properly belaying from the top of a cliff, and Bruce, who has done this over 100 times is like, “Wow that’s so dangerous :( Will we be okay?”

He really tries to ramp up his acting skills this time.

(Little does he know that’s not necessary.)

Bruce goes down first as Bear belays with a cameraman filming from the top. Halfway down, Bruce hears a scuffle, and the cameraman yells, “F*ck!”

Bruce looks up, arms already out for protection, and he sees a small disk falling towards him. It’s the lens cap. He catches it on instinct.

For a second, he thinks, “Shit, was that too skilled? That’s not enough to make people think I’m Batman, right? I just caught it in midair while dangling from a cliff. That’s totally not weird and suspicious. Normal people do that—“

Then Bear yells, “Bruce, drop it!” Bruce looks up at Bear, confused. “Why?” “There's a scorpion!” That’s when Bruce looks at the lens cap and sees a black scorpion perched on top with its tail ready to strike.

They don’t have those in Gotham.

Bruce jumps in his harness and flings the cap at the rocky cliffside. He hears a crunch, and the scorpion and cap tumble to the ground. Bruce frowns. Can a scorpion survive that drop?

“You just killed a scorpion, mate!” Bear cries. Bruce looks up in horror. “I killed it?!” “Hell yeah!” Bruce’s face falls. “No!”

Because oh. shit.

Bruce just killed something. The sad, orphaned vegetarian just killed a scorpion.

Bruce has a meltdown.

He didn’t mean to kill it!!!! Oh no, he just killed an innocent little creature. Yeah, he punches people for fun sometimes, and he definitely put a few violent criminals in the hospital, but he’s never committed MURDER!!

This poor little scorpion died due to his own negligence, and he feels so so so bad about it.

Bruce is a mess as he climbs the rest of the way down.

Bruce, cradling the scorpion’s body: I don’t know how to perform CPR on a scorpion! Bear: Bruce, you took its head clean off. Bruce: *sad noises*

Legit inconsolable. To him, it’s like he just murdered a puppy

Once they're out, Bear is trying to cheer him up. Bless him.

Bear: We’ve conquered the wild! Haven’t we, Bruce? Bruce, head between his legs, still mourning the scorpion: I’m never going outside again.

Yeah, no one’s going to think he’s Batman after that.

And that's all four of Bruce's TV appearances from the West Coast :) Dick and Jason never let him live any of it down. Alfred is almost sorry. (He is not sorry.)

Let me know your thoughts! What other TV shows do you think Battinson would appear on as a guest?

Okie dokie :D Love y'all! Have a good day <3

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Eyes on the Mirror - part 1

Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Rating: +18, NSFW Words count: 2631 Summary: You're at a turning point in your relationship with Frankie, he tells you that his mother insists on meeting you. Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, reader wears dresses, heels and uses make-up, no other description of her is given, no mention of her skin tone and she doesn't blush, no description of her hair, Frankie can lift her but he’s a hunk of a men you know, mention of food, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, kissing, mention of unprotected p in v, nipples play (f receiving), oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), panties in mouth (don't know how it's called in English, I just know that I like it lol), Frankie is our canon PEK and also the perfect boyfriend okay, mention of being caught (well, to be more specific, to be heard lol), pet names. Let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: This has been a long journey and I think it took me longer than expected. Second part is coming tomorrow. It's an emotional work, it's smut, but it's smut with feelings and I think I put a lot of myself into it. So I ask you to be especially delicate. This Frankie is the same guy from You look like a fun place to sit and Give me more Anyway, let me say a few thanks because I can't believe I had two people volunteer to be my beta, I'm very lucky. Kate @aurorawritestoescape and Ally @arcanefox207 The fact alone that you took some time to read and proofread my stuff is so important to me and you have given me so many helpful suggestions and advice, I am very grateful ❤️ Thank you Odi @joelmillerisapunk , to let me blather, to cheer me up, to always have the right words, I don't know how you do it, you're literally a gem ❤️ We’re going back to the emotional unavailable men agenda asap but for the moment I hope you’ll enjoy my lover boy neighbor!Frankie who is crazy about his girl 🥰  English is not my first language, any mistake is still on me, so if you come across one I’m very sorry. Frankie Masterlist ⎮ Masterlist ⎮ part 2

You and Frankie have been together for four months now, and you’re incredibly happy. Your neighbor, the man you spent a year hating, revealed himself as the best man you’ve ever been in a relationship with. 

You haven't said “I love you” to each other yet, you're taking it slow and you're perfectly fine with that, you know you have strong feelings for him but you don't know if he's ready to say it and the last thing you want is to ruin the best relationship you've had because of words said too soon. 

So you respect his timing without forcing his hand. And still you often think you don't even really need to say it, all you really want is to keep being with him, the man who can make you laugh in a second, with whom you like to do everything from the most mundane things like grocery shopping and running errands, to talking for hours and sharing everything with him, cooking, going to parties and concerts, even bickering. 

And sex. 

Oh, Frankie is a fucking magician. 

The most shockingly fiery and at the same time sweet lover you've ever had. 

You feel you can be yourself at all times with him, he knows your flaws and frailties and accepts them. And from where you were starting out it already feels like a considerable accomplishment. You never thought that the man who used to spend time judging you, once you penetrated his armor, was actually such a tolerant and nonjudgmental person.

You haven't moved in together, but you spend almost every night together, and yet, you are still trying to navigate your relationship without making the other one run off before taking the next step.

So when Frankie tells you that his mother would love to meet you, you get a little scared but you try to put on a good face.

"You really don't mind?" he prods you. 

You can never hide anything from him; Frankie has an ability to read your mind, the talent that you had never found in a man. 

His eyes scan you and he has a cunning little smile as he’s standing on the other side of the table, eating the eggs you prepared for him. 

“Yeah, don't worry, it's okay,” you nod, your movement a little forced, and Frankie notices it. 

“You're nervous, huh? Look it's normal,” he tries to reassure you, his hand slides across the table until it meets yours. 

He squeezes it gently and then intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“I'm sorry, she's been nagging me for at least a month now, I've managed to keep her at bay until now but she grilled me yesterday and told me that she was expecting us for dinner on Friday.”

“Yeah...I just feel a little pressure, you know, but it's okay,” you admit.

“Babe, she will like you very much, I'm sure.”

You look into his eyes, those big eyes the color of coffee and chocolate, and the comfortable glow they give off immediately takes away part of the weight you feel on your chest. 

“Are you sure?” you murmur.

“Of course!” he smiles at you, ”Well, you're a little sassy but...”

You slap his hand “Frankie! You're not helping me!” you complain. 

“Come on, I'm kidding. She’s going to adore you, I have no doubt about it,” he chuckles.

“Mmmm we’ll see” you still mumble with uncertainty.

"Come here," he says softly. 

You get up and walk over to him before he welcomes you on his lap and you wrap your arms around his neck. He rests his forehead on yours looking into your eyes and repeats softly, “she will adore you…not as much as I do but she sure will”

The thing is this with him, he's been circling around that word for weeks, so you're pretty sure he's going to confess sooner or later.

"What if she doesn't like me?" you ask him and bite your lip, looking at him expectantly.

“Uh, I don't want to stop fucking you, you know... so, you'll have to stay in a clandestine relationship while I'm dating a woman, personally chosen by my mom.” 

You kiss him, muttering “god, you're so...” 

He giggles and asks "what am I like?" tightening his grip on your waist a little tighter and pulling you closer to his chest, your tits pressed against him. 

“An incredibly lovely fucking bastard.”

________________________________________

You are in the kitchen preparing dinner, which in your case means putting take-out pizza on plates, as you hear Frankie come in. 

“Hey, are you here?” 

He gave you his keys a few weeks ago to make it easier for you to get around.

“In the kitchen!” you shout to him. 

You hear his footsteps approaching from the hallway until he comes in with a bag. 

“Hey, baby.” 

You walk up to him to give him a kiss, he immediately puts down the bag and hugs you tightly. “mmm I missed you. What's for dinner?” 

“Pizza,” you tell him smiling through your eyelashes and stealing another kiss, his beard tickling your cupid's bow pleasantly “And I was thinking about…uhm…your cock for dessert.”

He squeezes your butt, chuckling, “So eager, huh?”

“For you? Always,” you purr, looking into his eyes, veiled with desire.

His stomach grumbles slightly making you giggle, “Do you want to eat first?” 

“Uh, no,” he whispers, and as he does so he slips two fingers under the straps of your dress and pulls it off, letting it slide to the floor. 

You're in your panties in front of him, no bra, he looks at you spellbound with a smirk that unknowingly puckers his lips, "do you know how beautiful you are?" 

His eyes move from your face down to the crease of your neck, your cleavage, your breasts, your stomach, slowly, as if he is drinking from your body, the source that keeps him alive. 

He takes his time, still hasn't touched you but you'd swear you've never felt more caressed than now, nurtured, sensed, accepted in your body's every disheveled and flawed manifestation.

You could swear you could moan from that alone.

When his hands approach your hips you want them so badly that you instinctively lean into them to meet his palms, the warmth of his skin welcoming you.

You cling to his broad shoulders, bringing his body closer to yours.

He lifts you up as if you weighed nothing and lays you on the kitchen countertop, next to the sink. 

Your legs hang over the edge as he commands, “open wide, baby,” and settles in between, still fully clothed. 

“Frankie, please.” 

“You know what I like?” he asks with a smirk, ”the way you light up as soon as I touch you. God, it drives me crazy the way you instantly become a needy little animal, you know that?" 

You feel your eyes heavy and your voice shaky as you repeat his question, “You know what I like? The way you know exactly what I need.”

He smiles, leaning down to your neck to bite the soft skin over your pulse point and soothing it right after with his warm tongue. 

He lowers himself onto you, leaving a trail of kisses on your beating chest, pausing on your tits and spreading his lips over your nipples, first one and then the other, caressing them with his tongue, swirling it around. You moan with each touch, tilting your head back as he sucks them harder, his beard pinching you gently, his warm lips enveloping them.

You pull his cap off and sink a hand into his dark curls. 

He knows you so well, it is as if he has memorized your every little reaction and in his mind has written himself a manual on how to make you completely lose control. 

He continues to work on your nipples, grazing them with his teeth, licking them up and down with his tongue, sucking them between his lips, hard and covering them with his saliva. His tongue goes around your areola, returning to your little pebble every time you pull his hair a little harder and mewl.

He suddenly leaves your tits and returns to your neck, you groan in disappointment but his tongue immediately soothes you trailing up to your jaw and licking over your lips, inviting them to open for him and dragging you in a sloppy, feral kiss that leaves you breathless.

His hips are rocking into you, brushing over your damp underwear while you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him against your core.

His eyes are dark with lust as he moves one of his hands over your soaked underwear, brushing your folds with his knuckles, “I’m going to make you scream my name so loudly, baby”

“That’s exactly what I want,” you prod him, biting down softly on his lower lip. “Do your magic, Morales.” 

You loosen the grip of your legs, gently pushing his shoulders to invite him to lower himself, and Frankie grumbles jokingly, "bossy". 

He kneels in front of you holding his hands down on your back, just above your butt and pushes you toward him, you falter for a moment balancing on the edge of the counter but his grip is strong and secure.

You run a hand through his curls, tugging slightly.

He licks a strip over your panties, taking the fabric between his teeth, without stopping to look at you. 

A fucking tease. 

He stills for a moment and then kisses your clit. 

Then he moves his flat tongue flat down, almost to your tight hole and then back up, again and again, lingering on your clit with quick flicks of his tongue.

The fabric of your panties is wet with his saliva as a new stream of pleasure floods you, soaking them even more.

“Oh fuck, yes,” you holler.

He looks at you mischievously. “Thinking about it… we should take some measures to make sure you stay quiet, honey, you know?” he nods to the half opened window right behind you. 

You glance back and then blurt out, “oh, whatever, let them hear us.”

Frankie chuckles at your impatience. “Do you really want to put on a show for the whole neighborhood?” 

“There are curtains, they can't see us,” you frown

“But do they need to hear us?” he says as he pulls off your panties, sliding them down your legs.

He sniffs them for a moment- “fucking sweet, darling” - while you wonder what he's going to do, then rolls them and stands back up, sneaking his hand behind your neck and looking at you authoritatively, his lips pursed in a smirk. 

He runs his thumb over your mouth, stops in the center and pushes gently, silently commanding you to open it. The moment your lips part he thrusts your panties into your mouth. “That's it, good girl” he coos.

It’s so wrong, keeping your panties in your mouth like that, your tongue numbed with the taste of it and your body tense under Frankie’s gaze. But also fucking right. 

He graciously holds his power over you, always considerate of your need while he plays with your mind in a delicious nasty way. 

He caresses your cheek, moving down to the column of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it, “Don't try to take them out or you won't get what you want,” he gently orders.  “Can you behave for me?” 

You nod.

He gives you a smirk and gets back on his knees and admires your glistening pussy for a moment. “Always so fucking wet for me,” he whispers before sinking into you again, licking and sucking on your clit and down on your folds, his nose hitting your most sensitive part. 

When you’re basically dripping on your inner thighs, he slides two fingers inside you, so easily moving over the spot he knows makes you see double.

His fingers are inside you up to his knuckles when he curls them, pushing and grasping.

You are thrown into a frenzy almost immediately as he gently hits you with his fingertips again and again, sucking avidly on your clit as you’re stifling your moans by clenching your teeth on your panties.

He laps at your folds so thoroughly, then goes back on your bundle of nerves, sloppy wet noises fill the air mixing with your gasps as he scissors and pushes into you.

He hums against you, whines evenly, you watch him through your eyelashes as he palms himself from above his jeans, seeking some relief.

He doesn’t stop until he feels your legs shake and your stifled mewls trying desperately to get out of your throat. 

Your orgasm crushes over you like a wave, leaving you quivering and breathless.

He gets back up and removes the panties from your mouth, kissing you with his mouth still smeared with your essence. 

 “You’ve been so good, baby.”

You pull him by his shirt protesting, "You haven't got anything yet, though.”

“That’s not a problem, hun, we can eat something and then you’ll eat me. Dessert, remember?” 

You giggle “deal.” 

You steal another kiss from him before slipping your dress back on and setting the table. 

As you eat you notice the bag he left in a corner by the kitchen door.

“What is that?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I almost forgot, it's a gift for you." 

You squint your eyes “For me? You didn't have to!”

Frankie smiles “I saw it in a store and thought of you. Open it.” 

You get up and go for the bag, not before giving him a kiss.

When you open the bag you find a dress. 

Very simple, black, not too low-cut, with a tulip skirt. 

As you're looking at it, leaning it over your body to see the length, Frankie suggests that you could wear it to his mother's. 

____________________________________________

“Are you ready, honey?” 

Frankie's voice is muffled by the bathroom door as you're finishing putting on your lipstick.

“Almost, you just need to help me with the zipper.”

Frankie opens the door and peeps into the bathroom.

He stops behind you, admiring you in the mirror as you stand there with your lips parted, leaning slightly over the sink, your legs slender from your heels, you wear the dress he bought you, unzipped at the back.

“Jesus, you’re a vision,” he breathes. “Maybe we should skip dinner at my mom’s.” 

He approaches you and settles his big hands firmly on your hips. 

“Come on, Frankie, be serious,” you giggle.

“I'm serious,” he replies in a rough, deep voice.

He leans down to leave a trail of kisses down the exposed skin on your back, his soft lips send shivers down your spine and you are almost on the verge of giving in. 

You set your lipstick down on the sink countertop and turn to look at him pouting

"You can't do this to me now, you know we can't skip it.” 

“Well, it might help you relax though,” he continues to flirt, his lips curved into a little smile.

You’d fall for it any other day but not now that you’re trying to figure out how to impress someone you don’t even know. 

Frankie told you something about his mom, how protective she is and overall pretty conservative, you’re the exact opposite. 

You don’t know why he stays so positive about the dinner, you’re pretty sure she will hate you.

One look from you is enough to let him know how nervous you are.

Frankie leaves a light kiss on your shoulders and says. "Okay, I'll behave, turn around." 

He pulls up his zipper looking at you in the mirror, “Anyway, I wasn’t lying, you look really beautiful.” 

You smile softly, feeling your heart fluttering.

general tag list: @baronessvonglitter , @milla-frenchy , @thundermartini , @harriedandharassed , @almostempty let me know if you want to be added or removed and I’ll do it right away.

Archive tag: @pedrostories💗

Thank you so much for reading!

[deeplyshalllow]

Hi,

I absolutely love your posts on Fiyeraba scenes in the Wicked movie! I wanted to ask and this is just a thought I had but do you think Fiyero heals Elphaba with his acceptance of her appearance and as a person, because her major trauma stems from her father's rejection at her birth cause you hear "take it away" at many points throughout pivotal moments. Now that I think about it, her friendship with Glinda could be represented as a version of Elphaba's dynamic with Nessa where the sisters love each other but Nessa never protects Elphaba the way she does.

What are your thoughts on this?

Keep up the great content!!! 😃

Firstly, I am so sorry it's taken me this long to reply! It's been on my to do list all week but Pre Christmas and work and the need to also write a 3500 word essay on the Lion Cub scene, has made it hard for me to find the time to write a proper answer.

Short answer: I agree.

Long answer: I think Elphaba is hugely damaged by the way her father treats her. I think she has been othered all her life, including by the people who should love her and she so desperately loves. And a lot of this presents itself both in doing anything for them, even when it personally hurts her, and almost deliberately making sure everyone else sees her as a person as "ugly" as her green skin. Because, if she does that, she doesn't end up finding other people whom she loves who don't love her back or betray her, as she says in the Lion Cub scene, she sees it as an issue that she "cares so much".

There's actually three people at Shiz who really challenge Elphaba's view of the world.

Firstly, Doctor Dillamond, who shows her kindness and also regards her as a friend. But it is important to note that he is also othered, Elphaba's fight for the Animals is to some degree because she sees herself in them, she wants them to be able to fit in in a way she never has had. She empathises and her bond with Doctor Dillamond is stronger because they both share similar problems.

Galinda and Fiyero are the first, I think, to get Elphaba out of her shell. They are the ones who love her for who she is, nothing to do with her green skin, and yes, I do think it's healing. She's let down her mask of defensiveness and discovered that people do like her for what's underneath! There is a moment in the movie, when everyone is cheering Elphaba off at the train station where I thought "ok, they could just end the story here and it's the most heartwarming, happy ending for Elphaba" and obviously it's tragic that this is never to be.

Interestingly, I think Elphaba initially regards Morrible and the Wizard as people who see her for who she is too. Morrible because she's very motherly and values Elphaba when she wants to use her for her power (especially in the movie), and the Wizard because Elphaba has grown up believing him in an almost God like way - being so sure he will understand and know best. So that it is ultimately them that betray her hits her very hard.

Which leads to Defying Gravity and Act 2. Where, unfortunately, a lot of this healing for Elphaba is reversed. She's betrayed by Morrible, the Wizard (and to an extent Glinda) when she's condemned as a Wicked Witch, people still judge her for the colour of her skin. She does fight to do what is right, but she does it while sacrificing herself, what she wants, who she loves, what will make her happy - what she had been doing her entire pre Shiz years for Nessa.

There are so many heartbreaking lines in act two where we see how hurt Elphaba is by losing people she trusted or cared about:

"Boq, it's just me, I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Nessa, I have done everything I could for you but it has never been enough and it never will be"

"Don't you think I wish I could? That I could go back to the time when I believed you really were wonderful? The Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Nobody believed in you more than I did."

"Fiyero, not you too," (though obviously this one gets very quickly resolved)

"I can't believe you would sink this low! To use my sister's death as a trap to capture me?!"

So, when we get to As Long As You're Mine, and the scene afterwards, I think Fiyero does attempt heal her, and I do think it does good, but there's also this line:

Elphaba: I wish I could be beautiful... for you. Fiyero: Elphaba... Elphaba: Don't tell me that I am, you don't need to lie to me.

Elphaba's wounds cut deep. And, if I'm honest, I'm not sure she's ever going to be fully healed.

I do think the end of the show, Elphaba passing the task of helping Oz onto Glinda, of being able to go with Fiyero and live a life for themselves is a way to heal. She's given so much of herself to her cause, because she doesn't really value herself as a person, Fiyero - who loves her for who she is and will do anything for her including laying down his life, lets her finally do something for herself that makes her happy. And likewise Glinda, though she doesn't necessarily know it, carrying on her legacy, means Elphaba no longer has to worry about leaving the fight - she knows Oz is in safe hands.

Through the two people she loved the most, by the finale Elphaba might finally be able to heal.

Also, as I have nowhere else to put it: I think her father's treatment of Nessa also fucks Nessa up. I know they're going to change it for the movie, as it's seen as ablest (and I don't want to say it's not as I have a friend who literally has a Doctorate in disability history who sees it as ablest too) but I've always seen the fact that Nessa thinks her chair as a curse as an attitude driven by her father. Her father, in blaming Elphaba for Nessa's disability and coddling Nessa because of it, has always made Nessa feel like it's her defining trait and it's something wrong with her. This has led Nessa to both treat Elphaba as if she owes her something, but also believe her life would be perfect if she could walk - a belief that is brutally smashed in Act 2 when she is given the ability to walk.

[beevean]

I can't stop thinking about this morning's anon and some of their wording. "This was so scary to write because if any of my friends knew about this my life would be over".

It's short but I honestly felt so bad for them. They really don't need this on top of their other experiences. And what's worse, this is the common mentality now: I keep seeing, on Twitter and Tiktok screenshots, teenagers who genuinely ask if a ship they like is "proship", with the underlying message being "please don't bully me".

And listen to me. I am the most insecure bitch on the planet. I would literally eat my own hands with ketchup and mayonnaise rather than reveal my music tastes to other people. I've been endlessly mocked for my passions ever since I was a child - not bullied, but I've been told by parents and classmates that no one cares, or I'm too old for this, or I need to live in the modern world... long story short, to this day I do not want to be perceived. So I understand the feeling of "you will pry my true tastes from my cold dead hands". I am old enough to know these are irrational thoughts, but to this day I much prefer to keep things to myself.

So listen: you deserve friends who do not judge you.

Again:

You deserve friends who do not judge you.

It's one thing to prefer to keep your tastes private because you're a private person. That's fine! That is your right! But please, if you really think your friends will hate you because you happen to read Problematic™ fiction... no, that shouldn't happen. Especially not on the internet, where nobody should know about you as a person. Friends who do care about you would not think any less of you for something as common (yes it's common!) as enjoying some spicy stories. It is not a crime. It does not say anything about your morals. And it's even worse if you've already suffered in the past, but this goes for everyone.

I don't want to get into the whole pro/anti ship discourse because I am sick of how easily the internet twists the meaning of important words until discussions can't be had because the two factions are not even talking about the same thing anymore. I don't know anon's previous or current stance on shipping, what they meant by that comment, and again the wording worries me a little when combined with that other comment. I do have my thoughts about it that go beyond what "proship" means, and I'll summarize:

not only no one deserves harassment for what they ship, but the only thing you can judge from someone's writing is their writing level. Not their actual personality, not their experiences, and less of all their real-life morals.

Brand this backwards on your forehead and read that in the mirror everytime you wake up.

Anyway. I don't know if you'll read this, anon, but I really wish you all the best luck in the future. And I'm very glad that you approached me to tell me that - as sad as the circumstances are, and I'm sorry for being self-aggrandizing, your praise made my day :)

[princecroutons]

sorry to come in here suddenly but i wanted to add my own thoughts on one of the posts you reblogged (while being anonymous if thats cool) honestly that's why i don't really feel comfortable having a dedicated account for my pet because i am so genuinely worried about people getting the wrong idea if they take something out of context now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being worried about an animals well-being and i DO understand that there are people who suck and don't care about animals, but i swear nobody actually takes the time to look through a blogs post or read anything important on the account that does confirm the animal is safe and happy i've seen people literally not be bothered to read captions on posts now (especially tiktok videos) and just go ballistic on people because they got started assuming the worst instead of taking the time to do research it's okay to be concerned guys; coming from an animal lover i do understand being concerned, but people can really take it to an extreme when there's so much that you can do as a person

There was a time I wasn't very comfortable sharing my pets beyond discord servers or a few posts here and there, especially since I'd had rats, and the exotic pet communities can be even worse sometimes (though I do understand, especially with rodents) but I made this blog for a friend who adores him and he didn't really blow up until that post (that I wrote while high and immediately passed out after) and God I didn't expect the amount of people who wouldn't take a moment to think, or read, or search a blog for asks already answered.

I got a lot of rude comments about how it was abusive, that it was terrible to do that to a cat, that so on and so forth, assumption, assumption, assumption - and even when I had his post up for donations/gfm I had someone comment that I was being irresponsible for not having pet insurance, or unsolicited advice ad nauseam

I love animals, I love people who share their animals, and if I'm ever concerned I go out of my way to do a little digging before I do anything further because I'd rather be wrong than send someone an accusatory ask or give them unsolicited advise they're already following and didn't ask for. and if I find that hey! something here is wrong! I then consult friends on what to do and how to approach the situation. like idk...

People will rb videos of distressed wild animals in situations filmed to look cute with 0 comment, and then turn around and criticize people for shaving their cat and assuming the worst

I'm a little high and think I'm just ranting and repeating a lot of what you just said anon jdkdhej I just get frustrated sometimes and it's difficult not to feel very judged, but ik that the only opinions that matter when it comes to my animals are mine and my vets

but god please just.... put some effort in to doing at least a little reaserch before jumping to conclusions about literally anything ever

sorry for any typos I'm dyslexic and I'm not proof reading this 🫶

[purble-turble]

i can 100% see Nezha and mk's relationship (regardless if it's platonic or romantic) being equally beneficial and detrimental. like there so much they could help each other with but also subconsciously cause serious problematic habits/ thought processes/ coping mechanisums for each other and themselves the biggest thing my brain latched onto was how MK could become Nezha's first truly safe space.

Nezha going what i know and understand about his lore and what we can glean from the little we know in the show's canon, definitely has it rough in the celestial realm. he had a very troubled childhood and is clearly haunted by his past and is being defined by it despite his efforts to grow and prove that he's better now. he can command respect for his strength and power but people still question him as a person, always waiting for him to slip up. what relationships he does have he probably doesn't feel fully safe expressing his real self and thoughts because it poses potential risks. then mk comes into the picture. Nezha's given him a safe place to talk openly and he'd want to offer the same to the prince. even if he can't help directly he knows just having someone to vent to can help. its small stuff at first, little complaints here and there about work and the celestial realm, but slowly nezha starts to open up about more personal stuff. stuff with his family, with other celestials, and about his past. and to his amazement and relief is met with only empathy and understanding from mk, even after learning about the darker stuff MK never judges him. Nezha doesn't have to mask anything about himself around mk, infact he's being encouraged to relax and just be his natural self around him. he's truly safe when its just him and mk, that feeling has to be euphoric for the poor guy used to being on guard constantly even around the people he loves.

but of course, could easily lead to a mutually unhealthy co-dependency. nezha's already been isolated to some degree having never had much of a positive support structure, and mk's slowly isolating himself away from his established support structure. resulting in an echo chamber of two very well-meaning but very mentally ill people.

(i'm so sorry this turned into a short essay I've been waiting three hours to get of shift so i can spill my brains out about this. i have more but I'm going to end it here in fear that i'm being a bit much about these two)

Noo don’t worry about this being long, I absolutely love it!!

You’re so right, Nezha and MK are at the same time a good counterbalance for each other while also being accidentally self-destructive. MK is a chaotic lil gremlin who follows his emotions and worries about consequences later and Nezha (in LMK at least) seems to be trying very hard to come at things logically and approach from a more grounded, duty-based perspective. They both could use a splash of the other’s energy in that manner, so in that way it’s for sure a good thing that they’re getting closer.

Problem is, like you said, these boys are sooooo mentally ill 😂 The feeling that they need to constantly be proving themselves, giving a little more away every time, pushing their own boundaries and suffering in silence because it’s what someone else needs- these are things they might accidentally end up encouraging in each other…. Actually, probably not even accidentally. They see the other working crazy hard and being run ragged physically and probably emotionally too, and they’re like “I am SO proud of you for sacrificing so much!” ..and both of them have never felt so seen as when the other says that to them. It’s validating their worst impulses to just keep going and giving because their own feelings about it are less important than everyone else’s.

Also, the fact that they feel like they can expect to get that praise when they admit to being stressed might even make them be more open about it. Only with each other, though… if they were to mention feeling overworked or burdened to their families, they know already that they would not get the response they were looking for.. but again, even if it means they’re being more open, it’s still not a super good thing that it’s reinforcing destructive behavior. :U

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episode 19, The Sadida Kingdom)

NOTE: This is the thing I've been looking forward to the entire rewatch. I'm not sorry for my insanity. This entire blog has been built on my insanity.

This translation error in the fansub is the source of the mistaken belief that Amalia's father's name is Oakheart btw. Though it is a nice name.

Two days prior is when The Horror started...

Sadida also have their own Boufbowl tournaments... Big day for Joris hobby lore.

I'M INSANE. I have waited for ages to get here, and I will not be leaving until I have multiple paragraphs of insane things to say:

They have been arguing for a bit of time at this point. Joris does not sound happy about this conversation. Armand also doesn't sound happy about this conversation.

Armand is probably high on his "I am acting in the stead of my father, so you will tell me everything that you need to tell him" supply. Joris is so fucking desperate for Armand to act normal. He doesn't want to be here either. He doesn't need to be arguing with a 17ish year old prince with daddy issues on a weekday.

All of this to say: This level of politeness from Joris always screams to me "I'm so fucking mad right now."

The way he uses the same words, "allow me", almost reads a bit ironic, or like a thinly veiled show of disregard.

Him repeating the information that we as the audience already knew to Joris — which Joris probably also knows, judging from the fact that they have been talking for at least a little bit, — seems less like exposition, and more like Armand treating Joris like an idiot who just won't get it. A power struggle is happening here.

And while it isn't a part of the subs, I can hear him say "my father, the king" which is, in my opinion, yet another little element of psychological warfare going on here.

Basically, he uses a lot of thinly veiled little jabs to establish himself as The Leader.

...He really is high on his own supply.

The mention of the Master of Bonta is interesting. Joris is not just under the King's direct command, — he is also a messenger for other people in the Bontarian government. Perhaps the master in question is connected to the Huppermages?

His exasperated tone here is so customer service-core. Which wouldn't be that funny if we didn't know he also works customer service.

Also, the dramatic "Alas!"... That he definitely added just to seem less rude. While cutting off Armand's last word, as if he was waiting for him to shut the fuck up. Before looking up at him at the end.

The way he's so fucking rude is just so jaw dropping.

"I have an important secret message", "come back later. FUCKASS."

Joris's first instinct whenever things go bad is to go political incident mode and political incident all over the place.

But to be more serious: I think after 600 years of witnessing wars and murder, Joris's mind would go in that direction after seeing Armand's behaviour.

Joris just doesn't know Armand well enough to know that he would not do that, and that he loves his father. It's quite prudent of Joris to get sneaky.

And even if he didn't think of this — you have seen my headcanon for what I think Joris wanted to tell the king (soft oak and that weird xelor that keeps ravaging places). It concerns the safety of the country. And just like Amalia and Eva, I doubt Joris would want Armand to be the one taking care of this.

[guy who made an entire blog thats 33% literally just talking about doomed siblings] I don't know why I like Armand and Amalia's relationship so much. I think I hauve covid. It's just that imagine you were a kid, and your father — who is so, so very powerful, who is the leader of your people, liked your sibling more. And your sibling had this fortunate life, and you were always in the shadow, and people thought you're mean and furless and bal— [I am electrecuted]

Joris behind the columns, trying to stop himself from screaming or trying to actually kill Armand:

I hope he dies. <- I said, before remembering.

If I was forced to work in Joris's sphere, I would literally just end my life instead. The things he subjects himself to...

On the topic of subjecting himself to things, I really think that Joris came so late because:

He was sneaking around like a silly little gumshoe (he was spying on a foreign government),

He needed a break after talking to Armand. <3 Who doesn't

He hoped that this situation wouldn't end so disastrously. Like maybe Armand would get hit a little bit... Just a tinyyy bit. But no. It's worse. Multiple people are down.

He looks so fucking unimpressed with Armand's words here. I can't do this anymore. He hates this shitty teenager.

Magical powers activate! [hits you with a tree stump 16 times until you lose consciousness]

I don't even know what to say besides the fact that the things he subjects himself to (having to defend and talk to royalty who don't even take him seriously and insult him the whole time) are literally unspeakably insane. Could never be me.

He has a lot of anger within him, and for legal reasons, it cannot be expressed.

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 6

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 845

Masterlist

Saturday can't come soon enough. I feel like this week has lasted an entire year.

Then it's finally Saturday morning. I'm happy to go to work today, because at the end of the morning shift, you'll be waiting for me. My reward for my work. You won't even mind that I won't have time to change out of my usual clothes - it's a deliberate choice on my end, because you like how I look. You told Nadia about it on Twitter just three days ago.

@MoonShadow_: waarom zijn jongens in boekwinkels altijd zo lekker 😭😭

Which translates to: why are boys in bookstores always so hot

I didn’t realize you were thinking this way, (Y/n). If I'd known, maybe I would have made a move already.

Candace wasn't nearly this hard to read.

Candace wouldn't have been worth all this waiting, though.

I'm not ashamed to admit that Candace was a wrong choice. I thought I saw something in her that wanted to be known by me, to be taken care of, but I was wrong. You, on the other hand, are unknown to almost everyone except your dear childhood friend. It must be so lonely. But when you're with me, you won't have to be alone anymore.

Ethan notices I'm distracted today, but he doesn't say anything about it. He's happy to take over the regular customer service duties if it means I'll run up and down the basement stairs carrying heavy books from eight to twelve. Ethan is the kind of guy who swears by a Kindle.

You'd never use a Kindle, would you? I can't imagine it. You buy books way too often to bother about something as asinine as digital reading.

Maybe if I tell you the Kindle is everything that's wrong with modern-day America, you'll laugh and agree with me. But then again, maybe you'll just think I'm a ‘gatekeeping dick’. That's what you called someone on Twitter when they said The Secret History was awful and that only insufferable, snobbish, self-absorbed, classist rich kids would ever think to read this shit. Don't kill me, (Y/n), but I kind of agree with the guy. One day you'll see my side.

I kind of agree with you too, though: the world needs to learn how to read again, it doesn't matter where they start.

I used to judge people for what they bought at Mooney's, but now I don’t anymore. At least they're reading. You're making me a better person that way. You're making me realize that even if people are just reading whatever bullshit they saw on TikTok, at least they're reading.

It's one pm, and you're late. I'm not too upset about it, though. You texted me about an hour ago.

YOU: omigod joe!!!

YOU: my boss is super pissed i forgot to send a client this important email

YOU: i gotta fix my mistake i might be like

YOU: 15 mins late

ME: Don't worry. Take your time.

YOU: 😅

I didn't reply to your smiley. What on earth am I meant to say to a picture of a smiling face? Besides, a smiley isn't worth nearly as much as your actual smile.

And there you are.

Only ten minutes late. It could have been worse.

You look flushed like maybe you ran here, and your hair is a mess so you've covered it with a beanie again, but you also look so happy to see me. I'm happy to see you, too.

You hug me.

“I'm so sorry,” you say. I'm not sure what you're apologising for, because I'm still trying to get over the fact that you hugged me. “I've had such a crazy morning.”

“You're not even that late,” I assure you, which is true. Candace used to be hours late, sometimes. Sometimes she didn't show up at all. “Do you mind giving me a minute? I want to wash my hands and stuff.”

I don't need a minute. I've been ready to leave for a while now. But I think you might need some time, and I can tell you won't ask for it.

“Yeah, yeah,” you say. “No problem.”

So I turn and I head to the bathroom. This means leaving you alone with Ethan, which may be risky. Ethan might say something stupid, or something about me. But then again, I don't think he'd ruin ‘getting some tail’ for me.

In the bathroom, I wash my hands and check my hair. I look how I always do after a shift at Mooney's, but I think that's fine.

You look beautiful, (Y/n). It's too soon to tell you something like that, but you do.

I emerge. You look calmer now. You're waiting in the office - Ethan must have let you in - sitting with your hands behind your head and your feet on the table. Stretched like that, I can see a bit of the skin above your jean shorts.

It's deliberate. You're taunting me.

“Hey,” you say. “All ready?”

You're wearing make-up. You don't usually wear make-up.

“All ready,” I agree.

[ineffectualdemon]

The levels you get judged as autistic are weird

Because they are based on how well you communicate with neurotypicals (as I understand it, please correct me if I'm wrong) and don't actually cover the autistic persons level of need

Like I got level 1 because I am fairly articulate on a good day and as my husband puts it "you can seem human for roughly the first 15 minutes" (note he is allowed to say this, i find this humor funny and he's also on the spectrum)

I am educated, fairly well spoken, and can fake social niceties if I don't talk or if it's over text. This does not make me better able to take care of myself nor does it make me better than any autistic person who cant do that. I can talk good sometimes. Its just a fact not a judgement on my worth or anyone else's

But it sure is treated that way

I am not able to live independently. I can't handle if I'm asked to change the side of the road from my usual routine much less anything more disruptive. I can't manage my own finances. I have loud meltdowns in public. I visibly stim. Once my timer of being able to human breaks I will invariably say something wildly inappropriate and not understand why it's inappropriate. I can't arrange things for myself because I get flustered and confused. I need support on a daily basis

I cannot take care of myself even if you remove my chronic pain and fatigue.

Sure I could run an errand or go some place by myself before when I was still mobile but there was an over 50% chance of me having a meltdown on the way or once I'm there and needing help

And sure in the past I could go to new places alone ..if my husband took me the day before and walked the route with me and helped me write down very specific instructions and directions and be on the other end of the phone when i break down

Sure was once able to go to new places and events and then immediately get overwhelmed and lose my words and have a meltdown or dissociate in order to cope

And the after affects would mean I'm stressed out and physically ill for days after

Like I'm not saying I need anything like the support of high support needs autistic people

I am able to communicate my thoughts accurately through text most of the time

(not so much out loud. There I vary wildly between considered articulate and screaming with anger because I can't get the words! I know they are there but I can't access them and it makes me angry and no one else understands what's going on or why I'm suddenly angry)

I am aware that is a massive privilege and skill in my possession that allows me to advocate myself in way that is impossible for non verbal members of the communicate

You can advocate for yourself

But not same as me

And that's in my favour and I am sorry

So I try to advocate for you when I can

To have your back

Being non verbal, having intellectual disabilities, any number of factors could mean someone needs more support than me

And I am not saying we are exactly the same

But the fact that I am highly dependent on my husband to survive is just written off as not important because "I speak well"

And that's just a really weird way to weigh it in my opinion

Like yeah I don't seem to them like I should need to be dependent on others to survive but I fucking well am

Idk

The system just seems fucked to me

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi!! Sorry to bother you but i just want to feel like im not sick and wanted to share my thoughts with someone that wont judge me

But i feel really bad, i really feel like there’s something wrong with me i don’t like sex and every time i had sex before has been bc i was supposed to do it, i forced my self to lose my virginity bc i felt like it was about time and i was too old for keep being a virgin. Also i thought “well, maybe if i do it i’ll start liking it like everybody says” but i didn’t, i didn’t like it but i thought again “oh well, it’s the first time (im a ciswoman)they say it always hurts the first time, maybe the more i do it i’ll start liking eventually” but again, i didn’t, i had sex with different people that i felt attracted to and it ALWAYS HURTED, also every time i had to be with at least a little alcohol in my system, so actually i have never had sex being 100% sober.

Now i’m in a relationship but I don’t even like kisses and it sucks bc i really love my boyfriend, he knows about this but i kinda feel like even if he is very supportive about it and says he still wants to be with me, I think there’s this little part of him that wishes that one day i’ll change and we can have sex.

I feel bad bc is it ok to call him my boyfriend and not just a close friend? Im i even allowed to love? Do i have to force my self to do something I don’t really want to or enjoy to be loved? Am i worthy of being loved?

I'm so sorry. As a thirtysomething that had the privilege to afford never to have sex, and who doesn't plan to change that any time, soon, I can tell you from my own experience that yes, not wanting it is valid, and no one should blame you for it. No one should blame you for forcing yourself to try it (because damn the societal pressure is so real), and for never liking it either. I'm so sorry you've been so invalidated just for wanting to live as you are for so long.

Seems to me that what you have right now is something you've always deserved and it's tragic that you didn't get it any earlier, but it's such a relief you have it now. Of course it's OK to call him your boyfriend. As much as our closed-minded, stuck-in-its-own-way, can't-see-past-its-own-nose society would try to lead you to believe, you don't have to have or want sex with someone to love them, that's not a mandatory condition at all. Of course you're allowed to love and worthy of being loved. And no, you don't have to force yourself to do something you don't want to or enjoy to be loved. That applies not only to sex but to so many other things. You don't have to force yourself to do anything to be worthy of love.

It's idealistic thinking maybe, but I always think communication is incredibly important between two people, so I'd personally recommend (although take for that what you will, you were just sharing feelings here, it's not like you came into this inbox to be told what to do and it's kinda pretentious on my part to write this in the first place) to share those fears with your boyfriend, emphasizing, if you need to, that it's not that you don't trust him or don't love him, it's that with the struggles you've had to go through for so long as an asexual person, it's hard for you not to be scared of such things even if things are going great. Of course I don't know your boyfriend, but if you have the feeling he's supportive, I want to believe that he'll be there to reassure you and keep supporting you.

And heck, if it winds up being a disappointment and he actually did have sexual ulterior motives he can't do without... That's on him, not on you. There's nothing wrong with you not wanting sex. You have every right to enjoy loving someone and being with someone on your own terms. I'm fortunate enough to do so myself, at the moment (granted, in a queer platonic relationship so it's a bit different, but still), so I know first-hand it's possible. And I sincerely wish you the best. You don't deserve to be doubting yourself, your happiness and your right to happiness so much but I can't blame you for that either. Society can really fuck up an asexual's self-esteem. But fuck that noise. You're so valid as you are.

[melancholiast-clair]

talk to me about fandom misogyny and valkyire!!! am really interested

OKAY. hi. i have a lot of thoughts about this. this has turned in part into like... a val defense, i'm not even gonna lie to you, but there's some more specific discussion of fandom misogyny in there as well 😭

first of all, i find it to be much more rampant on the reddit community - go figure, lol - but it's definitely also present in the tumblr community to a more subtle degree.

it is also often mixed with some pretty deep ableism and sanism, so there's gonna be a brief discussion of that as well, just as a quick warning!

putting everything below the cut because this is. a long post. sorry!

if you're less familiar with the reddit community, one of the most frequent discussions is the talk about valkyrie's 'deserved' method of death and the comments regarding how her actions post-dotl make her an uninteresting or even disappointing character.

the discussions of how the only satisfying end to her character would be to die exactly how she thinks she's going to die - on her knees - both disappoint and sicken me. it feels like people are genuinely misunderstanding landy's inclusion of that as a theme; we are supposed to view valkyrie as an ultimately good character, and her belief that she's going to die on her knees is based entirely in a sense of deep guilt that we are not supposed to support. if you want to argue that she's actually terrible, go ahead, but i am of the belief that canon - and the intention behind most of her action - disagrees.

one of the most important things i feel like i need to outline is that she and skulduggery are extremely similar people. she spent a huge chunk of her life being absolutely dependent on him, and she learned the majority of her worldview and moral compass from him. valkyrie's life revolves around skulduggery.

i think it's both fascinating and extremely disheartening how people immediately shift their opinions once valkyrie is no longer considered a child. even when she's still a young adult - because like... surprise, reddit community, 24 is not actually old or a well-rounded adult, especially for someone who's spent her entire life isolated from typical childhood experiences - people immediately begin to demonize her actions. sometimes, this is even rightful - skulduggery and valkyrie have always been morally gray characters at best, and to judge their actions is an entirely fair stance to take. unfortunately, the majority of people who partake in this criticism aren't judging valkyrie and skulduggery.

they're judging valkyrie, all the while hailing skulduggery as their favorite character and continuing to excuse what he does and says while they denounce valkyrie for the same actions. going into the reddit comments when someone asks for 'least favorite characters' or asks people to rank characters always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth, and there are so many posts asking why valkyrie is the main character or why the series would choose to focus val when characters like skulduggery are there.

there's also a lot of hatred for valkyrie's trauma responses post-dotl, especially her inaction in book ten, which i find particularly distasteful. in book ten, she has just returned to roarhaven after spending five years wallowing in her own guilt and is immediately met with confirmation from people all around her that she deserves all the hatred she's projected onto herself for something she could not have stopped. of course she's frozen and disbelieving in herself when things start to go down; she's spent literal years blaming herself for the deaths of over a hundred people and almost everyone around her except for skulduggery - who she knows will defend her no matter what she does - is telling her she's to blame.

i get exhausted reading people calling her a bitch over and over, raging about how she's no longer a child and can no longer be excused for her despicable actions - but she hasn't had anyone to teach her why anything she's done is wrong. she learns that the people who insist darquesse are her fault are wrong, but in learning this learns to dismiss people who call her wrong. and it makes sense, because those are pretty much the only extremes she faces - completely in support of her, or completely against her.

another thing i observe in this fandom is the obsession with pushing women characters aside. this is present in lots of fandoms, of course, but it is particularly prevalent within the skulduggery pleasant fandom.

the amount of the fandom that completely ignores valkyrie in favor of the dead men is immense, and it's kind of insane. excluding the main character and the only woman who ever joined the group is like... absolutely wild. and it's not like valkyrie isn't compelling - she faces a lot of similar issues to the rest of the group. if you're specifically looking for a war setting, you have plenty within the books themselves - or if you want to go against mevolent, stick with phase two.

but it's not just val. characters like tanith, china, darquesse, even stephanie/the reflection (which. the love/hate from the fandom towards her is a whole other discussion i'd love to get into) - they all get cast to the side in favor of the dead men. darquesse, a character who on paper sounds like the person literally everyone would, like... at the very least simp for - 6 feet tall, tatted out, crazy built and eternally powerful - is so often completely dismissed. china, a pioneer of an incredibly fascinating and individual branch of magic, gets pushed aside even as signum linguistics themselves get explored.

in the end, this is a fandom like any other with a lot of central misogyny. i don't completely blame the fandom - derek landy has his own issues with misogyny in his writing, and that certainly makes overall canonical content influential towards this behavior - but i am tired of it. sorry if this is a bit of a mess, im just kind of... blabbing.

[vaquelin]

“Oh my Archon, I hate those guys.”

Kaveh covered his face with a palm of the hand when two merchants stopped by the counter. Alhaitham raised one of his eyebrows and looked at his friend appraisingly, but didn’t say anything. Deep down, however, he was curious how this situation would develop. He didn’t have to wait long to see. Despite Kaveh’s brilliant camouflage, the two men immediately noticed him and briskly approached their table.

“Kaveh! What a pleasant surprise to see you here!” exclaimed the first one.

“Although it’s a likely place for you to be!” said the other and they both bursted with laughter.

They seemed to be already dizzy and yet they came to the bar. Alhaitham was almost impressed by what kind of friends Kaveh had.

The Architect responded with a pale smile.

“Good evening, gentlemen. How is your business going?”

First, he tried to avoid them, and now he was inviting them to an unnecessary small talk. What odd behavior, thought Alhaitham. Kaveh always acted like a pure paradox to him.

“You know, sometimes better, sometimes worse… Oh, my apologise, good evening Grand Scribe, sir.” Both men bowed respectfully towards Alhaitham.

“Good evening,” he responded dryly.

One of the unwanted companions lurched and had to hold on a back of a chair not to fall. Alhaitham knew this reaction from his own experience with overstressed Kaveh, who used to drown his sorrows. But for the last two months, the Scribe hasn’t been forced to take his drunk to dead friend home. During the evenings in the restaurant, which became quite a tradition now, Kaveh would drink from two to four glasses of wine and nothing more to make him dizzy. Alhaitham hadn’t say anything about that, but obviously noticed the change. And secretly, he enjoyed Kaveh’s company even more now.

“Are those seats taken?” one of the merchants asked as if he had just noticed two empty chairs next to them.

“Actually—“ started Kaveh but he was not meant to finish.

“No, they are not,” told them Alhaitham according to truth.

The Architect glared at him angrily.

“It seems like we haven’t talked to each other for ages!” opened the taller man.

He had a monocle and a thin chain attached to his pocket in which there must have been a watch. The other was shorter and wider, he had a high hat, judging by the shape and fabric, most likely from Fontaine. They both looked affluently. Alhaitham started to wonder how Kaveh had met them.

“Yes, seems like,” the Architect answered absently, but soon his ghost returned to the restaurant when the tall merchant spoke again.

“Sorry for not having enough time, we’ve been working a lot. Not that you know any of it.” They both shared a laugh.

Kaveh clenched his teeth.

“I am working a lot as well,” he snapped back sharply.

“Well, compared to, let’s say our Grand Scribe for example, you don’t do much.”

They both were drunk, Kaveh knew there was no use in arguing with them right now, but he couldn’t so simply let go. Not when Alhaitham was sitting just next to him and was listening to all that nonsense.

“My job is as important as everyone’s,” he tried to be polite. Unfortunately, drunk merchants didn’t make it easy for him.

“I highly doubt. The Grand Scribe and General Mahamatra for instance protect our country,” said the taller one with monocle.

“Professors in Akademiya teach future generations,” continued the other one.

Soon they just started listing residents of Sumeru, claiming that all of their jobs were more important than planning buildings.

“Forest Rangers protect nature.” “Lord Sangemah Bay takes care of merchants.” “Deyha…”

“All right, all right, I get it,” Kaveh interrupted their counting. ”All those occupations are important for our society, but they just have different tasks. It doesn’t mean that people don’t need architects.”

“Actually, I believe that architecture is an outdated craft,” spoke up Alhaitham all of sudden.

They all slowly turned towards him, while he was taking a sip from the cup. Kaveh never thought he would live up to the day that his nuisance of a roommate would ever engage in a pointless conversation with dull strangers met in the restaurant. The Architect was so shocked, he didn’t even catch what Alhaitham had said at first. But when his words reached out to him eventually, Kaveh clenched his fists under the table.

“Excuse me?”

Alhaitham looked down upon him. The Architect couldn’t believe that his friend could act like that towards him. It was so unlike of Alhaitham to ever put himself above others. Even though he was certainly better situated than Kaveh, he never tried to show him how miserable the life of the bankrupt is. Not purposely at least. The Architect felt sour taste of disappointment on his tongue and reached out for a wine to wash it away. He twisted his face with the first sip. It wasn’t his wine, it was… And then everything became clearer. The cup, that the Scribe drank from, did not have the aloe water he ordered in it. He must have mistaken it with Kaveh’s wine. And the cups were standing like for quite a while. That must have been the main culprit of Alhaitham’s odd behaviour.

“Everyone would be able to sketch a stable building if they have all their marble. It is just a block after all,” the Scribe stated dashingly.

His tone in fact showed evidence of his not-so-sober state. Kaveh tried to keep low profile, but he couldn’t just stay silent. Architecture was his whole sense of living since he learned how to play with toy blocks that his dad got him. Later he discovered how enormous and fascinating it is to plan buildings so monumental yet aesthetic and most importantly, useful. Not a single line he ever drew on a blueprint was excrescent. He graduated from Akademiya with honours and that meant he couldn’t just simply let anyone insult the field of architecture. Not even Alhaitham, who was surely half-under.

“I doubt, it’s that simple. I could tell you how important architecture is for experiencing various emotions, but I am not sure if any of you find it relevant in your logical worlds. Let me then ask you, if architecture was indeed far less important, wouldn’t there be more architects and wouldn’t their service cost less? To graduate from Ksharewar is more demanding than from few other majors. Do these rational takes convince You, my friends?“

“On the other hand, why waste time on unnecessary and expensive ornaments when you can keep it minimalistic?” Even drunk Alhaitham showed his masterclass in repelling arguments.

His roommate didn’t know how to respond to that. He surely had a point but at the same time it wasn’t simple for Kaveh to express what he feels while working on a new project. It was like a burning passion, a fire in his heart. There were no words to describe that.

“Well, because—”

“Don’t worry Kaveh, we still value you as a friend. Even though you don’t have a serious job,” the merchant tapped him on a back.

The architect let go a breath and gave up on answering that. He barely spoke for the rest of the evening. He and Alhaitham waited until both merchants left them alone and then decided to return home. Kaveh didn’t even say a word on their way back, which was unusual for him.

Just when they were almost in front of their door, Alhaitham spoke up:

“Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be?” was his response.

He didn’t want to argue with Alhaitham who was not fully sober, and therefore could say something inconceivably harmful. And it would be Kaveh to overthink it with the wine for the next couple evenings.

“Because of what I said about being an architect.”

“Good that he can at least recall that”, thought the Light of Ksharewar. How come it was him who had to be rational today?

“You just expressed your opinion.”

“That’s actually—“

Kaveh cut him in.

“I don’t want to argue today. I’m tired,” he claimed while browsing through his pockets. “Uh! Where’s my key!?”

Alhaitham wasn’t even looking for his, although Kaveh was sure he would find it within seconds.

“I don’t think you got the meaning of what I had said,” the Scribe continued conversation, even though his friend was obvious in showing his incuriosity of that topic.

“You don’t value my work, because you think I focus too much on aesthetics and beauty instead of simplicity.” Kaveh snorted. “It was not hard to get.”

“You can always change your job.”

The architect frowned. Why was Alhaitham so talkative when Kaveh had really no intention to have a conversation with him, but when tension between them was getting intense, he barely spoke!? It felt a bit unfair.

“Change? No, I understood what you meant, but I have not said that I agree with you. You are simply wrong.”

Too late he realised he pulled the trigger. How could he say to someone who had a reputation of always being right that he had a false opinion on something? Maybe Kaveh wasn’t drunk that night but he certainly acted like he wasn’t thinking.

“Where am I wrong?” Alhaitham stood between him and the door. Kaveh had to chin up to look into his eyes.

“You think that beauty and originality doesn’t serve a useful function. But it does. And it is not that simple to design a building, even the one that you referred to as ‘just a block’.”

“I doubt. The only thing you have to know is mathematics and then deducting proportions and structures won’t be a problem.”

They stared at each other intensively for few seconds. The Architect didn’t know how he came up with this idea, but it was too late to back off. He was determined to prove his rights and it seemed just like the right way to show Alhaitham how hard is his job.

“Very well. Let’s see then. For five days we will switch our professions and we will see what’s harder, designing buildings or browsing through documents.”

Kaveh looked at him challengingly, but the Scribe didn’t even hesitate before answering.

“Deal,” Alhaitham accepted his proposal and pushed the door to go inside.

“When did you open them!?” shouted Kaveh after, but he didn’t respond.

whole story on ao3

[yakuzacanons]

hiiii!!! I think I read your posts pretty much everyday and am loving absolutely everything you write!!

This one thought has been bothering me for a while: what would our boys think of their s/o being a foreigner? I guess some of them would pay no mind, some of them would be bothered at first, maybe some of them would even use their s/o as a token! What do you think?

Good question! Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Last post of the night kiddos, see y'all tomorrow eve.

Kazuma Kiryu

Doesn't mind and doesn't care. People are people. He likes you because he likes you. It's that shrimple. Seriously though, it never phased him. He doesn't ask questions about it either. Feel free to share exactly as much or as little about your culture as you'd like.

Majima Goro

Similar mindset as Kiryu but he would ask some questions. Somewhat interested in cultural differences, like the fact that Americans don't take off their shoes before going inside. It's not always aimed at YOUR culture specifically, he's just curious.

Saejima Taiga

He's a little resistant at first. Saejima's a little more old school and likely always saw himself with a more traditionally Japanese spouse. Mildly confused at some of your cultural differences but gets used to them. His affections towards you are more powerful than his confusion. Besides, he's easily confused anyways by a lot of things.

Akiyama Shun

Thinks that it's really cool that you're a foreigner. Might even think that's what makes you so interesting in the first place, at least when you first meet. Tries to learn words in your language but never pronounces them well.

Tanimura Masayoshi

As a mixed race guy, he kind of relates to you. He's pretty respectful of your culture and enjoys sharing his with you but he would never pressure you to do the same. Mostly just accepts it as is, no questions asked.

Ryuji Goda

Like Akiyama, he likely finds your cultural differences enticing when he first meets you. Finds himself actually caring about your cultural and is pretty respectful of it. Goes out of his way to try to remember important holiday events from your culture. Would punch anyone who makes fun of you.

Nishikyama Akira

Generally prefers an Asian spouse but he's open to other possibilities. Kind of guy to dumbly ask "Why" or "Huh" when you do certain things that relate to your culture. Little bit dumb about it all. Doesn't exactly judge you though but he can be openly confused at times.

Daigo Dojima

Honestly he has never thought about dating a foreigner and probably thinks it's expected of him to have a Japanese spouse but doesn't let that stop him. Daigo's a big sweetheart when in love so where you're from or what culture you partake in doesn't bother him none. Genuinely supportive and loving all the way.

Mine Yoshitaka

Might be a little guilty of fetishizing your culture or using it as a token point of interest. What can I say, Mine really does want to look cool in front of everyone, even more than Nishiki. If you tell him, he'll immediately knock it off. He likely just didn't realize that it bothered you or offended you.

Tatsuo Shinada

Also guilty of making your culture or foreigner status into a token subject, but more so in the way he just asks a LOT of questions. He doesn't realize it makes you feel like you're a zoo animal or like a science project. His intentions are well placed though, he just doesn't know when to stop asking.

Ichiban Kasuga

He'll just be like "Okay, cool!" with a thumbs up. That's how much you being a foreigner affects him. Bless his gentle heart, he could never fathom how anyone could judge you or treat you differently just because you're a foreigner.

Tianyou Zhao

Sympathizes with your struggles and is really understanding. Would be down to share cultural foods or holidays with you, either from his culture or yours. He's just generally really chill about it.

Joon-Gi Han

Similar vibe as Zhao but would whoop the ass of anyone who made fun of you. He knows all too well what it's like to be outcast just because of who you are and how much that hurts and he'll be damned if you ever feel bad for being yourself.

[themandjetofra]

The Nejeru and the Presidential Election in America

Hey everyone, I know I’ve been a bit dead recently. Sorry about that! I haven’t had much new art to share lately, though I’m hoping to work on a drawing of Ammut sometime this weekend. Honestly, I think I’m done trying to stick with weird blog format. It just feels too forced and doesn’t align with what I want this space to be lol.

Im not going to give you the "Oh, not to get political, but..." stuff here. Yes, yes to get political. I am going to get political because, frankly, this is my blog, my space, and I can express my thoughts freely. If you don’t fw with that, you’re more than welcome to leave. I genuinely can’t stand Trump supporters. This isn't the place for you.

Yes, both Trump and Kamala have massive flaws, but let’s face it, American presidential elections have always been choosing between two evils. But the fact that an actual felon managed to win just blows my mind. It’s appalling to think that people are willing to overlook his blatant disrespect toward women and the LGBTQ community (both of which I’m a part of). Sure I might lose my rights, but at least gas will be cheaper... /s

This election has been a heavy blow to me, and honestly my soul. I’ve been pouring my heart into prayers and spells, asking the Nejeru for guidance. And yeah, I’ll admit, it stung a lot when it felt like my prayers fell on deaf ears to them. I’ve spoken to others in my faith and even folks who follow other ancient pantheons, and I’m not alone in feeling upset and betrayed.

So, I had to take a step back. I needed to breathe, to distance myself from everything—my work, my faith. But that doesn’t mean I lost my belief in the Nejeru. They’ve been there for me countless times, and I know that. Instead of letting my frustration consume me, I chose to reflect on it. Why couldn’t they intervene this time? Or, maybe, why wouldn’t they? And after some time to think, I eventually reconnected with my faith.

One thing I know is that we need to see the Nejeru in the context of their origins— Ancient Egypt. If you didn’t know, every Pharaoh was essentially a dictator. Even under divine guidance, bad things still happened. Some years, the Nile didn’t flood. Sometimes, things just went wrong. The Nejeru aren’t like the God of Christianity or Catholicism. They’re not “all-powerful.” If they were, they wouldn’t need a pantheon of over a hundred gods to manage different forces. They’re incredibly powerful, yes, but there are limits to what they can influence.

A major factor is the concept of free will, something that was deeply important to the Nejeru. They believed in allowing humans to make their own choices, to live their lives as they wished, even with rules in place. As Ra said in the Coffin Texts (1130): "I made every man like his fellow; and I did not command that they do wrong. It is their hearts that disobey what I have said. This is one of the deeds."

No god controls our souls. They don’t dictate our choices. Sure, they may judge us after death, but what we do in this life is entirely up to us. I highly recommend checking out “The Dispute of a Man with His Ba”, a translated story that implies much about free will in Ancient Egypt. When it comes to elections, that is free will. The Nejeru aren’t going to intervene in a democratic process where individuals are making their own choices. Whether people are misinformed or not, it’s still their decision. The outcome, as frustrating as it might be, is not something that the Nejeru can or should control. Doing so would mean infringing on the free will of millions of people. So, please, do not put the blame on the Nejeru. They’re not responsible for the choices people make. But we can lean on them for guidance through these hard times. Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves, check in on your friends, and remember, you are not a burden to anyone. Let’s focus on how we can support one another through this. Sending love and strength to you all.

- spheenx

💗