#I’m here I’m queer and looking for love

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Thanks @waitmyturtles for messaging me to let me know you prefer to be tagged in posts. I don’t mind tagging, but I also want to respect that not everyone wants to get involved in a back-and-forth on here. I’m looking forward to your additional thoughts and generally appreciate the respectfulness with which you engage with others and with which we’ve engaged with each other in the past, even where we diverge.

I can’t say the same for my attempts at discussions with lurkingshan, who blocked me near as I can tell after I was pulled into a debate with them and bengiyo around Peaceful Property and class disparity (the day of the US election results, so none of us was likely in the best headspace). Friends of mine shared the post with me knowing the love I, as a flaming gay guy, had for Spare Me Your Mercy. I felt the need to respond, not just to it (although it was the impetus and the foundational reference point) but to trends I see across different platforms and even in different media around queer art in relationship to genres, messaging approaches, and capital endeavors. I just wanted to create a post that made people whose queer tastes diverge from others feel welcome to their own preferences and appreciate that there’s not a single stance in the queer BL fandom about what qualifies as good and/or queer work.

just a friendly note to the BL fandom on here that plenty of people enjoy queer-oriented shows like love in the big city and mainstream shows like spare me your mercy and classic BL approaches like Cooking Crush. Plenty of people see the queerness, the strengths, the value for viewers in all these shows.

just a friendly reminder that a work is not less queer because no one is protesting it. That’s not a legitimate metric across vastly different cultures. The differences between politics, religious majorities, and manners across QL producing countries is absolutely massive.

just a reminder, if we wanna talk about capitalism, that the whole idea of a work being better or worse, queerer or less queer, more valuable or less valuable based on it’s reception in numbers (either higher or lower) is not something Marx and Engels would be into, since they ascribed to exchange value over use value. The labor put into the work is where it’s at—and all of these shows had plentiful hours of (queer) labor put into them! But not everyone who talks about the wrongs of capitalism on here is actually interested in the finer details of how capitalism operates, the full political and economic realities of the companies making these shows, nor the individuals who are forced to fight for change within capitalism’s global structure.

just a friendly reminder that queer sex, queer kissing, queer love, and queer marriage are part of and entwined with a larger humanist struggle for agency and cooperation, and queer creators are allowed to adapt their works and connect queerness to those broader political questions, and the work does not become any less queer because it lacks nc scenes or marriage plots.

and just a friendly reminder that a simple BL romcom is equally as queer of a story as a story about HIV. They’ll have vastly different narrative structures serving different emotional goals, and they’ll likely have different audiences. Yet, somehow, like me when I wake up in a different mood every morning, they’ll still be gay.

[pigfartsviatardis]

Was discussing queerbaiting recently with a friend because we’re watching Once Upon A Time (trash, but shockingly well written trash in the first 3 seasons) and obs we both ship swan queen. I mean. Come on.

But we noticed that from the start of s3 onwards, there was noticeably less shippy stuff between these two. There’s still a bit here and there because a) lesbian mums and b) chemistryyyy… but it felt like the writers were intentionally backing off from that pairing and putting genuine effort into the male love interests for both characters.

You might think that becalming the swan queen ship would have annoyed or disappointed my friend and myself, the shippers. But tbh we both agreed that it was actually nice to see a writing team see a popular queer fandom ship, go ‘oh whoops that’s not endgame’, and actively NOT bait it.

Obviously everyone here is aware of the Golden Age Of Queerbaiting, the late 2000s/early 2010s; even if you’re too young to have actually battled through it, it’s deep tumblr lore. We all know the repeat and egregious offenders from that time - destiel, merthur, johnlock, whatever the main one was on teen wolf - and how gleefully these shows would dangle queer rep in front of our twitching little noses.

Recently, I’ve noticed a more insidious trend: the Male Friendship Scarcity Myth. The most glaring recent examples are nandermo (WWDITS) and jayvik (arcane), both of which were popular ships after the first season(s) of their shows aired and were subsequently given increased screen time and shippy scenes/storylines. In the case of nandermo, the romantic feelings (at least from Guillermo) were textual. Both pairings were given ambiguous endings where they were together, but not confirmed as, yknow, together.

And then both showrunners, after the shows ended, decided to step up to the mic and give a heartfelt little speech along the lines of ‘men are allowed to be friends without it being sexual, and it’s actually really important that we show this, because we need more representation of close platonic brotherly male friendship in media’.

Anyone who was around during the aforementioned Golden Age Of Queerbaiting, or in fact anyone who consumes popular media at all, knows that this is horseshit.

It’s only ever close platonic brotherly male friendship. Or at least, 95% of the time. Everywhere you look, from major fandom shows to mcu movies, platonic male relationships are often front and centre. That’s nearly always the canon. How often does a major mlm ship actually go canon??? Hardly ever. Even destiel didn’t; cas’s feelings were confirmed last minute, but the official canon dynamic between him and dean is still brotherly bffs.

Are these friendships often the subject of intense fandom shipping? Yes, as literally any close relationship between any two characters of any gender always will be. People like shipping! But the official canon, and the gospel truth held up by poorly disguised homophobes in fandom, is nearly always strictly platonic bros.

Anyway. All this to say, I’ve been disillusioned recently seeing this myth pop up in every comments section on any jayvik-related content, that we have a lack of male friendship in media (we don’t, we have a lack of male friendship that isn’t queer coded to super turbo gay hell and back in media). I was even more disillusioned seeing the exact same rhetoric being spewed by those involved with WWDITS, which is ironically a show jam packed full of close male friendships THAT INVOLVE CASUAL SEX. The call was truly coming from inside the coffin on that one.

So, unexpectedly and somewhat depressingly, swan queen and OUAT have been a balm for the soul in the midst of all this. No queerbaiting (at least not where I’m up to), just good old fashioned straightwashing. At least it’s honest 🤷‍♀️

[nine-one-wanton]

@typicalopposite Mobile has completely garbled your ask. It does not show your entire message. There is no “Answer” button for me. So forgive my answering in this format! 💜 (Your other garbled ask is forthcoming!)

Buck reached his foot under the table, his ankle finding Tommy’s and locking them together.

“What’s going on with you?” Tommy asked softly.

Buck sighed, “I’m feeling kinda left out here. Or, like, I don’t completely belong here?”

Tommy frowned. “You don’t like this place?”

Well, that wasn’t true. “I do like it, I just don’t know how to be here. And..” His eyes shot to Émile, who was standing back, with a neutral-to-smug look on his handsome, chiseled face.

Tommy looked confused, his eyes followed Buck’s eyeline to their waiter. And then his eyes widened, returning to Buck’s.

“Seriously, Evan?”

“I mean, it’s fine,” Buck lied. “You’re in a relationship. But you’re not dead.”

“True..” Tommy said cautiously.

“Y-y-you have eyes.”

“Are you.. attracted to our server, Evan?”

“What?!” Buck whispered.

Tommy grinned playfully.

“You’re the one that’s been flirting with him this whole meal,” Buck said, doing his best impression of a ventriloquist, not wanting anyone to read his lips to see what they were talking about. And regretting how intimate the seating was down here. He thought he saw one of the Canadians rolling their eyes.

“Do you know how deliberately you have to flirt with a server around here to get even your water refilled?” Tommy deadpanned.

Buck felt the tips of his ears turn pink, and he.. kinda felt like he might be being gaslit.

Maxine’s clipped voice interrupted, and Buck was able to make out enough words, and apply context to understand that she was asking if people were ready for the final dessert course.

Maxine’s eyes coolly shifted to Émile. And Émile had the audacity to ask Tommy something directly. Something that sounded to Buck’s barely trained ear like, ”Êtes-vous sûr, Monsieur Kinard?” And then Émile’s eyes flicked skeptically to Buck and then back to Tommy.

Buck felt heat pooling in his core again, and he unlocked their ankles, pulling back into a closed off posture.

Tommy nodded, a barely perceptible gesture. And his shoulders shook a little - and Buck thought he might actually be.. laughing?

Tommy took a deep breath, swallowed a large gulp of wine, and then let his breath out slowly as Émile sat the most beautiful plate of macarons down before Buck. A combination of rich chocolate and raspberry macarons were artfully, delicately trailed across a thin rectangular plate. And on top of one of the dainty cookies sat a rose gold wedding band, with a black and red opal inlay.

Buck felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He looked at Tommy with disbelief. As he began to reframe the evening.

Tommy laughed softly. “I love you, Evan Buckley. Every ridiculous, wonderful bit of you. Would you marry me?”

“I’m.. an idiot.”

“And what kind of idiot would I be, if I didn’t love you anyway?”

Buck put the ring on his finger. And couldn’t help shooting a pointed look at Émile, who had faded into the background after he and Maxine had served the guests their desserts.

“You’re wearing the ring, Evan. Is that a yes?”

Buck gasped. “Oh, right. Yes. Of course, it-it’s a yes. Hey.. am-am I supposed to wear this right away? Like an engagement ring? Or wait until we’re married, like. Since it’s a wedding band?”

“That’s the great thing about being queer, Evan. We get to make up our own rules.”

“I want to wear it,” Buck said, decisively. “And I want you to have one, too. So, people know.”

“Know what?”

“You’re mine.”

Buck saw Tommy’s breath hitch slightly. A sharp little hiccup of an inhale. Then he asked, “Should we, uh.. finish up here? Get back to the hotel?”

“Need me to remind you?” Evan asked in a low voice. “Since I don’t have a ring for you yet?”

“Evan..” Tommy breathed. And Buck could hear the mix of Yes, please and Not here weaving through that one breathlessly whispered word.

They took the macarons in a small paper bag to go, and began the short walk back to their hotel room.

[the-sky-the-stars-the-sea]

Okay people of Tumblr. Now it’s time for you to go wild or do nothing.

Get this post to 100k notes and I’ll give my tumblr-using crush my url.

Get this post to 200k notes to get me and I’ll tell said crush I have a crush on them. (Yes telling them my url and telling them are two different things and yes both require lots of motivation just go with it)

(Yeah I know they’d probably figure out I have a crush on them once they find my tumblr but we’re not into logistics right now)

Get this post to 300k notes and I will ask said crush plus my other crush if they maybe want to start a polycule. (I keep imagining we’d make a great throuple)

Get this post to 500k notes and I’ll tell my other other crush who is also polyam that I’m open to dating them if they are open to the idea of dating me.

Get this post to 666k notes and I’ll tell my roommate of one week (school trip) that I’ve had a crush on them since the autumn of 2020.

Get this post to 999,999 notes and I’ll tell my childhood best friend that I have known for as long as we’ve been friends that I’ve always loved them and always will, and maybe not just in a platonic or queer platonic way. (I still can’t figure out just how I love them. I just feel like I’m hiding something from them when they don’t know just how much I feel for them)

Make any homophobic/transphobic/aphobic/ anti-polyamory comment and you’re blocked.

No you are not allowed to judge my non-existent love life or my looking for love priorities. I can’t stop you from asking questions but I can’t guarantee I’ll give you answers (though I am more likely to give answers to genuine questions)

And because I’m curious, here’s a poll:

If you see this post after the poll closes (look I know that some people know how to manipulate polls to make them longer than a week but I’m not that smart) but still wanna answer the question just put in comments or tags which one(s) you’re most invested in.

Alright, Tumblr. I’ll give you 6-12 months. I’ll shorten the length if this takes off faster than a rocket. However this will remain the same: if this post does not reach 100k notes by the Ides Of March 2025, then nothing will happen.

(also if you think I should rearrange these priorities feel free to tell me, I’m open to opinions)

Alright tumblr. Do (or don’t do) your thing.

[gd-dollopole]

Arthur’s last wish was to comfort Merlin as he died

Arthur couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Merlin knowing that he would be sad.

Arthur cradled Merlin’s head in his hand, with a small smile on his chapped lips, trying to reassure Merlin, knowing what was to come, and aware that Merlin would have been destroyed by Arthur’s death.

So not only Arthur let himself be held, because he wanted to, because, finally, he could ask that of Merlin, but he gently caressed Merlin’s hair too, and we can see how much Merlin had longed for Arthur’s tender touch.

Merlin rolled his head back to feel Arthur’s palm on his scalp, although the hand was covered by the glove.

Merlin knew, in that moment, when he finally had Arthur in his arms like he had always wanted him, but couldn’t have him and only stared at him from afar, when he let himself be touched like he had craved for all those years, that Arthur wouldn’t have been able to caress him anymore.

So Merlin leaned in the touch like his life depended on it, and we can see him wavering by the tiny, yet enormous gesture.

And Merlin knew he wouldn’t have had the hand in his hair ever again.

It wasn’t only Arthur’s wish.

All Merlin had ever wanted of Arthur was to be held by him too.

[astrobei]

90s grunge college will is something that can be so personal (inspired by the tags on this post)

self indulgent hc that no one asked for: will visits seattle in the early 90s and gets super into the grunge scene + bands like nirvana/pearl jam/alice in chains + jonathan gives him his old leather jacket and the rest is history

[maddcelestial]

“What’s the worst case scenario?” Mable says emphatically. “We crashed the golf cart, so what? We’re both still alive! At the end of the day that’s all that counts…. What’s the harm?”

Tony chuckles. “Hah… aw… nothin’ that should be on your conscience, doll…” he looks forward, sunglasses off. “This ain’t gonna help my case with Dipper, that’s for sure…”

“Dipper? What?” Mable is trying to console him. “What case with Dipper?”

“Cmon, now. I can tell the way he feels about me.” Tony gives Mable a look. Saddened. Mable frowns and looks away, a little awkward.

“He’s just being difficult.”

“Well… I gather a lot of bad things happened to you all…”

“Well yeah, but…” Mable sighs. “Yeah…”

Tony gestures for her to sit down. She does.

“Imagine stuff like this but… every day. All the time… don’t get me wrong it was fun! But there were a few times where I….” Mable looks away again. “…I don’t know.”

“You thought it was the end for you, huh?”

Mable slowly nods. Tony sighs.

“That’s no walk in the park… must have been scary.”

“Yeah…” she smiles and nods. “I mean… I wouldn’t change anything about it… but… I don’t know.”

“I get ya… believe me.” Tony smiles.

[buffythevampirelover]

Mine

And though I call you mine, I know you will never belong to me. I could never grab your light, hold it steadily in my palms, no matter how hard I tried. Nor does anyone grab their God and pin it in place. Mine in the sense that I worship you; chest beating, always bleeding, bruised knees and all. I live for you, and with you always on my mind, always right beside me— or at least not far behind. You cannot capture someone else but you can carry and hold and caress the love you have for them. And that, too, shines bright. It burns your fingertips. It tastes sweet on your lips. It is fully yours, when your heart is not. When there is nothing else to hold.

[clowningcrows]

so i work at an on campus anthropology/archaeology lab that deals with old artifacts from sites a while back that never got looked at much and sorting through, cataloguing, storing them etc right. tell me why i got so emotional when i walked in there yesterday and the box that i’m supposed to go through first had a name tag on the side with my new preferred name

[brightwoods]

Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?

Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too

Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift

Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now

Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC

Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead

(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)

And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later

I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff

And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together

And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC

Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?

And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation

Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?

[realllism]

some of you really need to work on your ideas about romantic and platonic love being so completely separate that they might as well be different entities. they’re entirely conceptual, of course they’re going to crossover, what’s platonic for one person (eg. holding hands) might be romantic for another

[clownsnake]

dokja making a decision to appease the constellations like a streamer appeasing chat. funnie. sillie.

[thismission]

major ofmd s2 spoilers but it’s kind of beautiful in a way to see the youngins call That character dying a “typical” bury your gays trope, in a show that is specifically about queer love filled with queer characters who have happy endings, where both casual and passionate gay affection is shown again and again, and always portrayed as something beautiful and tender and good to be embraced

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

lonan and harrison fanfic where all they do is watch movies & throw popcorn at each other

[moonmoonthecrabking]

“we catholics have to convert protestants because it’s a Worse Brand of christianity” “i (an evangelical) think a lot of catholics are actually going to hell” “the Bible is so clear that homosexuality is a sin” “the Bible isn’t up for interpretation just read it” “modesty is only to prevent the unfortunate visual men from stumbling”. let’s all get offline, touch Creation and pray. okay?

[thepikachusorcerer]

— Care Of, Ivan Coyote

[ Image ID: An excerpt from an e-book. The first paragraph is highlighted in yellow. The text reads, "Remember that morning I tried telling you in my mom’s truck up on Grey Mountain that the big-city trans community might not be the welcoming, accepting, blissful soft landing that I would like it to be for you? You sipped your oat milk latte and nodded, but I could tell that in your head you were patting me on the shoulder and saying ok Uncle Ivan, ok old fella, I’m listening, but I know it will be different for me.

I so wish it had been different for you. I wish trans people could come together better, that our own pain and trauma didn’t get in the way so much. I wish we could trust one another more, forgive each other easier, welcome and hold and teach each other, without punishing those of us who are newer, or older, or younger, or who arrive on our doorsteps without the right words, or clothes, or politics. I wish we didn’t turn so much of the hate aimed at us inward, and flip and bite our brothers and sisters and siblings simply because of their proximity, because they are available, and because they are so much easier to sink our teeth into than our real enemies are. They call it lateral violence, which is a useful term to a point, but one that does not fully describe how we can also harm those above us, and especially under us, and who arrive after us, and who we were meant to follow as well, not just those directly next to, or around us. I wish we had the same patience and compassion for each other that we muster up on the regular and extend to our families, our co-workers, to some confused stranger in a public bathroom at the mall." End ID ]