#I’m also still kind of sick
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#alien stage#alnst#doodle#sketch#alnst ivan#ivan#selkie ivan#ball#I will draw an ottill version#they will be in a pair#maybe I’ll add more of the babies but I’m not sure which other than these two#either way#it will happen#but my iPad is out of battery and it’s late so maybe tomorrow#also I don’t think people are seeing my posts on twt rn#which fair#they’ll just miss out on more sealvan#sealvan#beloved#I’m also still kind of sick
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#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#shaunanat#shorccio#jackienat#taylorccio#jackieshauna#shackie#jackieshaunanat#shauna x nat#jackie x nat#jackie x shauna#yellowjackets#*#i’m obsessed with this moment. earlier in the episode we see nat sitting outside just staring at jackie’s bones. she’s clearly been thinkin#this over. that they can’t just leave her there. a visual reminder of what they did. making them all feel sick#that jackie deserved better. that in death. even now that she’s just bones. she deserves a burial or something. and nat takes initiative.#comes up with a plan and shares it with the group. but even then she looks to shauna for permission or maybe reassurance? maybe it’s out of#respect. they all remember how shauna reacted when it was initially suggested they get rid of jackie’s body. this is hard on all of them#jackie’s death and what they did. but they all know it’s affecting shauna the most.#maybe nat is even hoping shauna will want to help or that someone else besides natalie is feeling the way she is. that she won’t have to do#this alone. that someone else wants to honor jackie or feels as sick as she does about it. and they clearly do!! so many of them feel that.#i mean maybe only shauna and taissa are feeling it as strongly as she does? but shauna is kind of in shock and sick with guilt and grief an#in no place to meet nat half way here. she’s retreating into herself. and tai doesn’t even remember eating jackie. think she’s still#processing that it even happened. that they all aren’t lying to her. and also dealing with the knowledge that she’s having memory gaps.#dissociating. so nobody that is present there with natalie is feeling the way she is. lottie seems to think it was necessary for their#survival (probably true and nat even tells jackie’s bones as much.) but lottie doesn’t seem to be feeling guilty and when she takes a mug#out to natalie while she’s wrapping the bones. nat seems angry at the way lottie is handling it. and travis offers to go with her but it#reads to me like he is worried about nat specifically and not that he’s feeling that bad about what happened. i think nat is just feeling s#alone in this episode. and the one person that gets that is shauna but she’s just not in an actionable state. just tells nat to take the
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((I will never shut up about all the parallels in jjk))
#yes I’m still on my crap about Yuji being a parallel to Suguru#look I just think it’s so tragedy coded ok#Gojo was meant to be the executioner of both#I am not okay#also the parallel of Gojo drawing out the execution order indefinitely#both Suguru and Yuji lived on borrowed time at Gojo’s hands#Gojo was like: ok nice this time I won’t get attached to the vessel and since I already killed my bf there’s nothing more to lose#Gojo- seeing what a cinnamon roll yuji is: oh no#i’m just sad okay#urghhhh#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu#yuji itadori#jjk itadori#angst#digital art#geto suguru#gojo and yuji#gojo satoru#Art#doodle#sketch#quick painting#painting#fanart#fanfiction#Gojo repeatedly talking of the impending execution is his way of psyching himself up for it#also the fear of Megumi trying to be the executioner instead as a sick way of comfort for Yuji#like no sir Satoru’s been there done that he will not allow Megumi to subject himself to that kind of pain
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Look how they cannibalized my boy
#in light of recent events#i felt a mighty need to redraw this scene#can’t believe the terror got another thing right#james fitzjames#og james fitzjames#the franklin expedition#historical james fitzjames#franklin expedition#james fitzjames fanart#polar exploration#my drawings#the terror fanart#amc the terror#the terror#the terror adjacent#og jfj#i can’t believe they ate my baby#insane#still reeling tbh#started drawing this immediately upon hearing the news#because i’m sick in the head#i think i had convinced myself that he was the Washington bay aglooka#and i told myself that if he had lived that long maybe he had lived a lot longer#maybe he was one of the few that nearly made it back#one could always hope#until now that is#i have very mixed emotions about this#i am both glad we know (finally!!!) and i also kind of wish we didn’t#really i wish that he had made it#but there’s nothing i can do about that
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that body never belonged to you in the first place
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk 261 spoilers#megumi fushiguro#sukuna#itadori yuuji#gojo satoru#kenjaku#chat am i exaggerating or are the horrors of having your body possessed real#the amount of times that a character has been possessed or had their body used as a weapon makes me nauseous#itadori being the main example#it made me so sick when he had to come back to himself after shibuya and see everything that sukuna did#like yeah i would throw up too#also i can’t think about megumi without getting a little sick to my stomach#maybe i’m just exaggerating bc i get emotional like that but#imagine having to watch ur sister kind of turn into a monster after a year of her being in a curse induced coma#and then you watch your friend also get his body possessed by the king of curses which then leads into YOU getting your body possessed by#the king of curses who then fights and kills your sister … in your body …#like yeah i wouldn’t wanna go back on the battlefield either#also they’re like fifteen and going through all of this like goddamn#too much bodily possession in jjk…. now gojo’s being reduced reused recycled#for good cause of course#but still#this is heavy
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Hello creatures of the night 😍😍 I have come back to fix the planetlord design
I need to stop pushing myself so far to the point the quality is the worst when I get long periods of inspiration 😔
#Spoke is tomorrow 🔥#Also whoever tagged their reblog on the old design with#Planetlord if he was awesome#Score tag It makes me laugh every time I think about it#Don’t really know why I think it’s so funny but I thought you should know if you come across this#also noticed you guys are pretty easily hypnotized by colors so prepare yourself for spoke#so flattered that you guys would still appreciate planetlord at his worst when he looks horrific#I do kind of like it though. the eyes SCARE me#It also scares me#Because it is so much worse than what I’m actually capable of#but whatever a sketch it a sketch#and this isn’t my main 🤑🤑🤑‼️ I will post bad things because I care less#Just having fun here guys#lifesteal fanart#lifesteal smp#lssmp#planetlord#practice is practice and shitty art always makes me learn something anyway#plus the design isn’t that bad whatever is under the eyes is sick as hell
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Onyx Storm Chapter 50 MAJOR SPOILERS
🚨🚨🚨
This entire book I’ve been trying to figure out Violet’s second signet (I was leaning towards thinking it was fire; and the “first flame” Andarna had was actually connected to Violet’s powers; and stemmed from when she had none to protect her or Violet protect her with in threshing, and was the explanation of the spicy scene smoke (just mistaken for lightening) though it wouldn’t be a huge difference in the two… or some sort of intinnsic because we don’t fully get the Xaden & double-dragon bond) but the dreams and “dream-walkers” being a thing just totally blew my mind!!! So, I’m gonna go scream in dragon fangirl now… man these are gonna be fun to re-read!
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌
#no further spoilers please I’m still on my first read#Chapter 50#Onyx Storm#Onyx Storm spoilers#Violet and Andarna#Violet Sorrengail#Andarna#signet#dream walker#second signet#read along with me#reading reactions#Rebecca Yarros#fan theories#fangirl rambling cause I’m losing it#THEY ARE BOTH INTINNSIC#that’s intin-SICK#Violet is a literal dream girl#my theory was not right so hey at least fire emojis weren’t a spoiler and now I understand the dreams#imagine her defeating them like that like lmao Melgren#now I know what Andarnas kind meant#Yarros always kills it with foreshadowing#the second she said she was screaming I was like this is Xaden isn’t it but then also the fact she assumed Andarna#I can’t wait to reread#cause Iron Flame#also the fact she developed it based off of her love and missing of Andarna#my babies#I just hope this means the sage dreams aren’t real prophecies of danger cause that was also a concern#now I’m just hoping the mavens don’t develop matching powers for some sort of evil balance cause we don’t need Dream walking venin#also don’t get me started on everyone who hasn’t manifested or Sloane being a siphon theories cause idk trying to find ways to help Xaden
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y’all fr just want someone to be mad at who will actually see it
y’all know you can’t get mad at the duffers in a way that they’ll see and listen to, so you decide to deride and belittle someone in a fandom space, minding their own business, doing stuff in their own little corner, bc it makes you feel good
you can “get away with” being nasty bc you’re on anon and you won’t “get in trouble.” you’re bullies hiding behind a self-victimizing facade because “i’m being hurt by this person i’m not forced to interact with bc they’re talking about things i don’t like in a space i had to find my way to on my own :(” literally just walk away. just walk away
how much free time do you have to have in your day to feel justified in sending paragraphs-long anonymous messages to a random person on the internet, spreading lies and rumors, deliberately trying to make them feel like shit? you couldn’t waterboard that behavior out of me. go do something worthwhile. there’s actual issues to be mad about that your energy would be better-suited for
if you can’t be bothered to cater your own space, to ignore things you don’t like, to stay in your lane and focus on what you enjoy rather than what you hate, then i fear you shouldn’t be allowed on the internet. or in public spaces in general. bc you make your problems everyone else’s problems simply because you feel superior in every way. and that’s no way to behave
#genuinely where does the self-righteous attitude come from#*old man voice* back in my day we didn’t have beware posts or callout posts unless someone was committing tangible crimes#like stealing bones from graves or trying to actually murder someone#which are both actual real life situations deeply sewn into the tumblr lore#it wasn’t until i joined this fandom that i ever experienced fandom drama of any kind. and i still make a point to just block and not#directly engage. because I have standards. and also don’t care#I’m just sick and tired of seeing people dig in their heels about stupid incorrect harmful shit and then attack my friends for suggesting#people Not dig in their heels about that stuff#like. I’ve been living w james for 4 months and he’s one of the most normal people I’ve ever met#anyway. go away. begone. face my liberally-used block button#i say things
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Disgusting creature (begins sobbing)
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#isaac castlevania#castlevania isaac#isaac laforeze#castlevania curse of darkness#curse of darkness#art post#my art#castlevania artists#Castlevania fanart#fanart#uhhh idk tags#some of these are based on panels from the manga and other official art but yeah#he’s truly a character that’s for sure#one one hand yeah he did all that he did kill people and committ war crimes#but on the other hand oaughaughogh but but what if what if he could’ve gotten better—#the game and mangas do a very good job of showing you how he’s like the opposite of Hector but so so similar#like Hector was two steps away from being that too they both came from such similar situations#augh I could make a whole analysis rant of the whole game and have before but not in the tags lmao#bro had to be put down and was a horrible person in the end but it was still sad#he’s like the classic cursed Castlevania rival character except completely unsavable this time#like imagine if you couldn’t save Maxim or Richter or Hugh or whoever else like that’s how it feels#anyway yeah he’s also fun to draw :3#his haircut is unreasonably cute#I wish I didn’t have curly hair that conflicts with that kind of hairstyle oof 😔#unrelated but I’ve been sick again lately ugh#at least this time I’m getting treated for it tho but idk if it’s working or not yet tbh ughhhhhhhhh
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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hanging out w ppl is great (I’m constantly nauseous)
#I don’t even like feel scared ??? Or wtv ??? The worry thoughts aren’t there I’m just like about to vomit.#yknow? I’m going to throw up.#And then when I think about being around ppl I’m like haha that would be fun (sick to my stomach)#Kind of insane. Alas. Such is life. (no I don’t think that’s it.)#though they have pointed out I literally don’t breath unless I’m thinking about it so that might be part of it.#hm. Anyway the diaries of guy who had no friends and thought that uni maybe he’d meet some nerd group#and instead is friends with the group who did so much shit constantly and are much more socially comfortable than he could ever be#I feel I may be punching above my weight. Yknow? like maybe they shouldnt think I’m cool ? Why do they think I’m cool?#I also haven’t been sleeping proper bros still 3 hours ahead I need to get on east coast time#there’s many reasons to be nauseous actually.
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Ooh for Toad Peach AU how did the first meeting go with the officials of the Beanbean Kingdom? Ohh maybe more on Peach and Peasley's becoming friends. Does he help her feel a little more confident in her true form? Gimme all of the dynamics hehe
idk why i thought i dreamed this ask but i forgot you sent it 😭 here ya go!
the beanbean and mushroom kingdoms have an extremely close relationship that’s rather old, and as such the births of both heirs were highly celebrated by both families.
here, peasley is roughly 1 year older than peach, and the betrothal between the two was set up very early so the two do not remember their first meeting as they were infants at the time. but still, they visited peach many times before her debutante.
peach’s parents died in a horrific incident i still haven’t detailed when she was around 3-4, which did result in queen bean reaching out more often as peach grew older to offer additional guidance and support :]
but back to peasley and peach, they were thick as thieves and peasley introduced her to fencing! toadsworth wasn’t a fan at first but eventually relented (whatever endears her to peasley, plus any experience with a weapon could come in handy if the mushroom kingdom were to ever leave the peacful era). she’s quite adept in both forms, but prefers to fence in human form. it isn’t something she practices often in current day but it’s something she treasures the memories of alongside trying his bean pillow and learning about beanbean allies and his travels :]
though, as they got older, the two became more aware of their betrothal and what would follow, but things weren’t clicking so they decided to experiment a little (read: they kissed and neither of them liked it. sad!) but neither have brought up calling anything off as both are quite fine with something contractual if it came down to it (but peach would call it off if peasley asked)
at peach’s debutante, they danced together first as a show of the kingdom relationship, and when the first attack/kidnapping happens, the beanbean kingdom offered aid and refuge (little fungitown)
re: her appearance and peasley—she initially meets the beanbean family in toad form, but as she got older this became rarer as experience (and her self image) became priority. peasley makes sure to praise her toad form’s beauty when he sees it, and when mario does come into the picture is of the firm opinion alongside daisy that he does not deserve her if he doesn’t like her true form. on most days she agrees with him
as for superstar saga, he still arrives to the mushroom kingdom ahead of time and toadette volunteers to take peach’s place instead of birdo (the effect is later undone before peach arrives in the beanbean kingdom)
post superstar saga, the two meet (peach crownless) to discuss their love interests, and their betrothal is officially called off. consequent meetings with the beanbean kingdom are held in her toad form :]
#gari’s asks#nintendo#smb#toad peach au#princess peach#prince peasley#ty key ily 🩵#oh my god i hate tumblr no i did not click on that notification i was working on a draft 😭#for clarification: mario and luigi know about her toad form by superstar saga#i’m not sure if peach ever publicizes their relationship but they are more explicit/open after superstar saga#but overall peasley is a treasured confidant before daisy enters the picture#and i imagine that peasley would give her gifts from other kingdoms since between her preparations and toadsworth she never left the castle#so peach has a healthy love of travel#i feel like peach wouldn’t have wanted to call off the betrothal first and foremost bc of how much she loves queen bean#like she knows that it wouldn’t change but still#also after the debutante and the bowser thing that’s the only thing saving her from a marriage plot working#kind of. you know what i mean#peasley visited a few times after her debutante but he did not meet mario or luigi until superstar saga#(they weren’t isekai’d yet or mario was away or sick)#half wrote this off the seat of my pants but it is mainly based of what i wrote about their relationship in my notes#i did write that she was gonna get married at like. age 23-25 but im still figuring out the timeline so rn superstar saga happens when shes#a lot later than that i think. i don’t want everything to be so compressed but if i want everything to fit in a certain timeline i need#to do some adjustments on timeframe and/or maybe make peach younger when smb happens#peasley and daisy have a lighthearted rivalry 👍🏽
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“i’ve never found a way to be honest. all i know is a place where i haunted.”
#ghost’s sick beats#spiritbox is so fucking good#while i’m putting you all on sleep token… may i also offer you sprititbox?#a female fronted metalcore band be still my beating heart#also they’re incredible live from what i seen!!!!#never been to a show but 😭#it’s kind of maroon coded if i squint and work my ass off to make it a reality#Spotify
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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.
#AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I HAD THEM STEALING THEIR WAY OMTO#THE PLATFORMS WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN oh i love being right#also that all the kids are there watching when he kills the guy whose name i forget because i simply cannot hold names in my brain but the#evil one. who i was like oh thank GOD he died i was so sick of this plot he kept killing everyone & i screeched when he almost got claudia#something something calla saying ‘you’re not a child anymore’ about tenax’s cruelty to the brothers (which in my twisted narratives. sorry.#there’s only one scorpus who KNEW the child tenax was. the child he’s still healing and caring for. all of the children whose eyes he looks#into and sees a hurt that’s just like his? the children tenax saved whether he’ll admit it or not? scorpus saved him. and that’s all)#(also this is a terrible thing to say i knew it about but like. oh i knew it about the master of the house. tenax making sure NO ONE#touches the kids or does anything with them really but Claudia and him—the people he trusts which also now includes calla but he makes sure#it’s someone he knows. also do we have a claudia backstory??? or would i just get to invent a reason why she’s there and what she’s doing#and why she’s so loyal to tenax. did she also see the child he was and that’s why she’s so protective of him but also why she gets along#with calla so well because the two of them see how he’s festered in that. like calla fully has the rights here i think she should rip him a#new one for his lack of decency and good qualities he can be corrupt without being cruel y’know. and he should be called out on his#peter pan ass behavior you’re not a child!! there are such consequences!!! dream a little bigger a little kinder!!! change the dream you#made up with scorpus when you were a young angry teenager and make it fit who you are NOW. the life you want NOW not the life you thought#you should have & deserved. what did you learn from growing up. what changed. what do you need now & what do you want. not the same things#and i too wish that this was 30k and covered their entire backstory#BUT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION of i also need it to be 100k canon-divergent (presumably. i’m only through episode eight. but i can’t imagine#that they will follow the plot EYE would write because they need to have a second season & you can’t have that without conflict which means#titus overthrown scorpus is gonna die metaphorically or literally etc etc the gold faction in shambles but technically triumphant with#domitian on the throne and tenax in a position of patrician power accepted into their society but still not equal and happy. whereas lmao#domitian you’re getting shipped off to some other city because your plot to overthrow titus failed and yet he is merciful enough he won’t#kill you he just sends you and hermes together (at which point over the months long journey you forgive and re-learn each other bc titus#didn’t know of the betrayal he thought it would be kind to send your (ex-)lover with you. do we see how this works perfectly) & tenax falls#back into the underworld where he now knows he belongs because blood is everything except when it isn’t. when he realizes what he has is#worth more. no matter if the blood he has is tainted or patrician the blood oath he swore with scorpus iron on their tongues means more.#calla’s split lip defending him and their winnings. kwaame’s blood on the hard packed sand of the arena fighting to stay alive and to come#home to them. the fire in aura’s cheeks when she laughs at ivy. SURPRISEEEE EVERY NARRATIVE IS A FOUND FAMILY I GUESS IT SPRUNG ON ME TOO.#and tenax doesn’t mind a little dirt and bribery every now and then. doesn’t aspire to former heights and shining brilliant out of shadows.#the gaudiness of gold &flash of fools’ dreams. YES CAN I FINALLY PLS GET MY BLACK FACTION TO REPLACE THE ILL-FATED GOLD THATLL COLLAPSE W/D
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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