#I won't see them separated
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Jasper (presumably) gave Fancy a scratch across the nose that is ever so slightly swollen, so I have to keep an eye on that and if it isn't better tomorrow, take her to the vet.
If we can't get this nonsense settled between them...well....
#i really just want everyone to get along but he is very exuberant and suddenly VERY LARGE#and i feel like i am failing them all#if Jasper has to be rehomed Junie will go with him#I won't see them separated#god everything is so hard#(added to which I can't move faster than a slow walk at best so I can't break things up quickly enough to keep things calm)
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Blind side (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Gaster#Sans closing his good eye every once in a while and keeping his blind eye open - obviously he does so in-game as well so it's a style-match#It's just interesting in the context of him being textually-confirmed blind in Handplates hehe#There's a level of vulnerability there! Not more than closing both eyes around someone - and potentially also distrust!#''I'm baring myself blind right now but /you/ don't need to know that'' - it suits him ♪#Especially when he does it around Papyrus! Because obviously Papyrus knows about his partial blindness#But when he's trying to be duplicitous - the way he looks at him sidelong with his blind eye when he's trying to lie unsuccessfully ugh <3#And again-again it being about how much he trusts Papyrus! That he can be a little lazy or spacey and Papyrus will help him!#Also something about his entire right side being impaired - pawing around with his plated hand for something he can't see on that side#The dynamics! Internal and external! Very good like them lots#And then there's Gaster lol ♪ Throw him into the mix I'm sure it won't make a mess at all haha#I guess he's visiting? Just spacing out - he and Sans have a lot on their minds - separately haha#I do love how Sans pushes Gaster to be kind to Papyrus - very deservedly! He wants Papyrus to be happy of course#And he's obviously still angry with Gaster a lot but how might that present itself when Papyrus is Papyrus at Gaster hehe#Even just in that small jokey way of ''you tryin' to step on my turf?'' hehehe#Especially since the comparison wouldn't even come up if he had two functioning eyes hm?? Right Gaster???? Lol#Speaking of that scene and Sans' partial blindness tho ughhughuhg <3 <3 The fact that Sans stands with Gaster to his blind side#It's the vulnerability/distaste/confidence of it all! He's grown up so much it's all right there in how he holds himself#That he either trusts Gaster enough not to attack him - starting to believe him - or that he has enough faith in himself to protect himself#And only looking at him with his peripherals unless he looks directly at him hghhhgh I am Normal about shot composition I swear lol#Also I like how that last panel turned out lol - Sans just appears at the bottom of the steps like how's it going. care to gtfo thx
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 7)
Staroba is... not my cup of tea.
Still can't get over the fact Ceroba showed so little empathy for Star. It becomes even worse when you remember she started lecturing him ALL while wanting to take Clover's soul herself and lied to his face just so she could later betray the kid. At least Star tried to fix things. She started digging deeper and deeper into her plan and in the end got forgiven really easily.
I keep thinking Ceroba sees Starlo as a childish little bro or smth and even mentions how the reason she chose Chujin was because he was "mature." Yeah he WAS more serious in terms of personality but everyone's different. Chujin wasn't morally perfect anyway
'Back when I was a naive kid, kinda like you' and 'hey, it's science. your brain is still developing' rub me the wrong way. Basically what I got from this is how she thinks only someone childish and emotionally underdeveloped would consider a relationship with Starlo
Ceroba seems to view Star as a "poor naive manchild" who needs babysitting. She feels so bad for him that she'd sometimes tag along with his antics but won't hide the annoyance most of the time.
She'll also spare him from his feelings getting hurt, which is nice but it's not her honest opinion:
She seems to show little appreciation for what he tried to do for her even though they're supposedly best pals. She says how she's been burying her sorrows in the saloon but not how spending time there even slightly cheered her up.
She envies Star's optimism but imo it sounded more like an adult envying a kid's naivety than one adult admiring the other.
And APPARENTLY the time she spent with Clover in Steamworks cheered her up a little but not what Star's been doing for her for months.
heck she didn't even notice he had been doing it for her. too stuck in her sorrows, probably
I think the reason for this is because the Steamworks reminded her of Chujin and Kanako and the life they used to have. Btw, she loved Chujin waaaay too much (and even though he's gone now she still doesn't think she'll ever be with anyone else except Chujin, she's proud of Chujin for a useless award, she still calls Chujin 'her love,' she keeps talking about Chujin's legacy and how Asgore and everyone else never believed in him), to the point she stubbornly supported him without question, only (maybe) seeing him more realistically at the end of pacifist. I just feel like Ceroba doesn't take Starlo seriously. It's not that she doesn't care about him at all, but… she definitely doesn't get him.
For these reasons, I'm not a fan of staroba.
#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#north star uty#uty ceroba#ceroba uty#ceroba ketsukane#anti staroba#I won't pretend I like this ship#I honestly don't see the chemistry#their friendship is ok though#but imo star puts more effort into it#maybe she's hiding her true feelings for starlo#maybe not#idk#either way I won't overthink it#i know a lot of fans love staroba and that's fine#i just don't#star was a sweetheart to let her go#and let her have happiness somewhere else without him#i want starlo to either end up alone raising clover as a single dad#or with someone who will appreciate him and find him inspiring#this might sound funny#but that someone could be el bailador#both are energetic and passionate and 'too much' for the people around them#they wouldn't find each other 'too much'#corn yaoi is something I want to discuss separately
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Salty rant v2
This is basically me angrily screaming about Ford again (wow what a surprise) to a wall (myself, my rotten brain and my blog) so feel free to skip this
Fuck it I'll bite
Gf fans when you tell them Ford had every right to be mad at Stan for ruining his Project (he saw it as the only chance to prove himself and get accepted in his dream school, and even tho WE know it was an accident, Ford doesn't he thinks it was a purpose sabotage and it really doesn't help that Stan didn't told him which resulted in him making a fool of himself Infront of ppl he wanted to impress and then Stan tried to pass it off as something that didn't matter even tho it mattered so much to Ford, like of course he'd be mad everyone would be mad in his position)
Gf fans when you tell them it's not Ford's fault that Stan got kicked out it's all Filbricks fault (seriously guys, blame the fucking abusive father, not the 17 year old living in an abusive household)
Gf fans when you tell them standing up against an abusive person (especially if they're your parent) is hard to do for yourself let alone for someone else
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wasn't the "golden/favourite child" Filbrick dgaf about him and only wanted to use his intelligence for money and both Ford and Stan were abused just in different ways (seriously find a different dynamic to describe an abusive household than "golden child" and "scapegoat" I say as I put a gun in your head)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to go to college isn't egotistical
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to make a name for himself doesn't make him egotistical (he literally grew up in an abusive household, and was bullied and treated like an outcast for most of his life, him seeking out validation is a trauma response not egotism)
Gf fans when you tell them if Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then Stan is equally as petty for refusing to hold his hand over a thank you literally seconds ago (of course he had the right to want him to thank him and be mad, but it was the END OF THE WORLD, they are both responsible in that scene)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford isn't ignorant for being manipulated by Bill cuz 1) Bill is a master manipulator who's managed to manipulate and terrorise humanity since forever using lies/flattery/fear 2) despite having a high IQ he has a low EQ and therefore isn't able to tell if someone has ill intentions due to being....an outcast and therefore doesn't have the social skills to be able to tell others true intentions/manipulations which made him an easy victim for Bill (do u guys even know what manipulation means)
Gf fand when you tell them the reason why Ford didn't try to reach out to Stan was because he thought he was doing fine since he had seen an ad of his on tv (he had no way of knowing Stan was still homeless anymore, and you don't usually see homeless people's ads on tv), not because he didn't care
Gf fans when you tell them Ford didn't force Fiddleford to do shit for him, and that he was against the use of the memory gun and wanted him to get rid of it but Fiddleford literally erased his memories of it so he could continue using it. And that therefore Ford isn't to blame for everything that happened with the memory gun just cuz Fiddleford had bad coping mechanisms. (Seriously you all are acting as if he pointed the memory gun on his head and forced him to abandon his family and build him the portal. No!! Fiddleford made those decisions himself he could had left Gravity Falls at any moment and return to his family but no he didn't, he chosed to stay and start a fucking cult. That is on him. Not on Ford)
Gf fans when you tell them the way Ford acted during the time where he was literally being abused, manipulated and isolated by a demon is way more complex and naused than "ego! ego!".. because he was literally being abused and manipulated...
Gf fans when you tell them the reason why Ford called Stan to hide his journals wasn't because he only wanted to use him as a way to fix his mistakes but because he was literally really desperate and feared for the safety of the world and he didn't have anyone else he could trust and that he was hella traumatized due to being literally tortured both physically and phycological and sleep deprived and on the bring of insanity (of fucking course he wasn't gonna act logically and say mean shit he didn't actually mean, he was losing his mind! Stan had also said mean shit to him because he was angry but nobody talks about that)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford being mad at Stan for opening the portal is understandable, because 1) he literally ignored all the warnings that the portal could potentially destroy the whole world and 2) he was literally about to FINALLY killing Bill after 30 years of fighting for his life in the multiverse to try and find a way to
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's trust issues are completely understandable because he was literally betrayed, manipulated and abused by the "person" he trusted the most (Bill). And the other two people he trusted did something that hurt his trust on him (Fiddleford erasing his memories, Stan ruining his project)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's and Bill's relationship isn't "toxic yaoi/messy divorce!" And that it was incredible abusive and that FORD was a victim ( average gf fan claims they "don't romantize/support the toxic ((call it abusive guys, that's literally what it is)) elements of this ship I just like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction:) *proceeds to make 10 posts of "he fucked the triangle!" jokes and gets mad at you if you actually point out the abuse and makes 100 aus where they get back together/stay together*
Gf fans when I tell them that I really don't care about what Alex has said about Ford being "egotistical" or "ignorant" because that's also the same guy who said he didn't intended for Pacifica to come off as a victim of abuse because controlling your child with a bell is total normal parent behaviour guys (/s). (I stopped listening to most of the stuff he said after that, not gonna lie, cuz most of the stuff he says about Ford's "ego" and "ignorance" are flat out victim blaming) ((I mean come on guys, he literally says he based Ford's and Bill's relationship off REAL LIFE toxic relationships he's seen and then he goes and says shit like how it's Ford's own "ego and ignorance" fault that he's ended up in that situation. Don't you guys think that's a bit weird))
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#okay I'm gonna be brave today and main tag this#I hope I won't regret it later#honestly the only thing I can't really defend him on is all that with dipper#but at the same time. he wasn't trying to separate them. he saw that dipper was like him and wanted to do what he thought was the best for#him.#okay he was projecting a bit with that “isn't it suffocating?” comment but at the same time#my dude's social skills had always been shitty and he literally hasn't interacted with a person in like 30 years#he wasn't fucking trying to manipulate him#something something#the way this fandom treats Stan's trauma vs Ford's trauma is so different and it makes me ick#people tend to sympathise with Stan while tone down the trauma and abuse Ford suffer because they don't see him as a victim#which is like bizarre to me I want to say that it's cuz he's not a perfect victim but neither is stan yet ppl still acknowledge his trauma#and I swear to god it wasn't as bad as this BEFORE tbob#my main theory atm is that it's the result of B1llford shippers wanting to desperately ignore the fact their ship is. in fact. abusive.#by trying to make out Ford to be this terrible selfish egomaniac monster as a way to say “look he's terrible too! they deserve eachother!”#and people acting being stupid enough to believe it (media literacy is dead nowadays)#and then stanley and fiddleford stans also started to desperately wanting to earse them of their own flaws and fucks uo to make them more#sympathetic by blaming everything on ford
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Reason for Hope: A Gon and Killua Meta
I’m surprised by how frequently I see people saying that they think Gon and Killua’s story arcs are over for good; that we likely won’t see them again in the series, or if we do it’ll only be brief and they won’t reunite.
After spending years obsessively analyzing Hunter x Hunter, I disagree with this viewpoint, and I wanted to lay out some reasons as to why I anticipate an eventual reunion and reconciliation between Gon and Killua. This will be long, but bear with me!
The Separation
So, after thousands of pages of development between Gon and Killua, many things unfinished and unresolved between the two, at a point where the audience is expecting a big, maybe tearful reconciliation between Gon and Killua, instead we get…a mere 5 pages devoted to their separation. Many of the words on these five pages aren’t even dialogue between them, but rather setting details about the World Tree.
What we get is complicated; they seem on good terms, but it’s also somewhat fraught–they must have had a conversation before this, when they initially reunited, but Togashi opts to skip that entirely and only show us the aftermath, what’s happening right as they’re about to go their separate ways.
Killua teases Gon about that painful line where Gon told Killua it wasn’t his business, and Gon quickly apologizes, but this is a very light conversation where Killua is clearly prodding Gon to make him feel bad. In the original Japanese version, Killua then says that Gon “already (もう/mou)” apologized, which implies they did talk enough for Gon to apologize in another conversation, but clearly this prior conversation also wasn’t in-depth enough for Killua to explain how Gon was healed and by whom. I also assume in this conversation that they discussed parting ways, as their parting doesn’t seem to be a shock or surprise to either of them.
Togashi is known for his anti-climaxes to arcs–often he’ll build an audience expectation up, only for things to go a completely different way than what it initially seemed he was building towards. It’s one of the things that makes his writing brilliant. It applies to this scene, in a way, in that he doesn’t give us the big, cathartic, emotional conversation we’re expecting at this point, and much is left unsaid between the two boys. However, I don’t think Togashi’s tendency for anti-climax means that this is it, the end, all we get is this parting with ambiguity and Gon and Killua’s arcs are over. There are a bunch of questions left unanswered here, even though they’re not stated outright. The central one is: Why, exactly, are they parting ways?
There are a bunch of reasons one can come up with, both emotional and practical: Killua may need a break from Gon after all of that (because he feels unwanted/rejected by Gon or he just needs to heal, or he may feel it’s unfair to Alluka/Nanika to split attention); he may feel he can’t be with Gon and also fully focus on protecting Alluka/Nanika; he may be concerned about Illumi pursuing them and the danger this may pose to Gon; he may simply feel he has no excuse to be with Gon any more now that Gon is about to fulfill his mission and Killua found something he wants and needs to do (going back to the promise they made under the stars previously); he may feel he’s already failed at protecting Gon (particularly after what Bisky said in Chimera Ant Arc) and what right does he still have to be with him? It’s possible Gon has reasons for them to part too–we’re not given reasons so we have no choice but to infer. It likely could be a combination of these reasons, too.
It’s hard to feel closure with a parting that we don’t even entirely know the reason for, and I do think eventually Togashi intends to give us more answers. He even indirectly makes us a promise, through Alluka.
I come back to this line over and over again, and I truly think this is Togashi reassuring the audience that this isn’t forever. I think that’s 100% what this line is here for.
There’s a lot of ambiguity in these few pages, between Killua teasing Gon in a way that feels pointed at times (the instance I discussed above, as well as the scene after Alluka says she’ll let Killua go, where Killua tells Gon he’s second place to Alluka), to the specific word (仲間/nakama, essentially teammate or comrade) Gon quoted from Kite being tied to Killua’s “friend vs teammate” concerns, and where we leave off is with a lot of tension and uncertainty even if overall they leave off on good terms.
It is made clear several times that neither of them fully want this parting to happen: Gon’s “I’d better go… Any longer and I’ll…” (Not be able to let you go, it implies.) Gon looks crushed. Killua agrees, also with a sad/resigned expression. Gon also says, “Wish you could go [meet Ging].” Both of their expressions change to sadness as soon as they turn away from each other. Neither wants to show the other how much this hurts. We get the sense that there’s a lot more they want and need to say to each other, things they’re saving for another time, once they’ve had some time apart to heal and grow on their own.
These are two of Togashi’s main characters, and the two he has spent the most time developing and portraying throughout the story. This parting is confusing, bittersweet, ambiguous, and unresolved. It’s dense and thought-provoking even in its brevity. It also doesn’t feel like a permanent endpoint.
Apologies
Ging tells Gon, “There are rules when you apologize to friends. You promise what you’ll do next time. And then you keep that promise!!”
Gon is talking about Kite when Ging says this, but even within the same conversation, Ging tries to tell Gon that what happened to Kite is not his fault. When Gon apologizes to Kite, Kite also asks “Apologize for what?”
I don’t think most of the audience blames Gon for what happened to Kite. The narrative makes it clear that Gon, Killua, and Kite were all simply outclassed by Pitou’s strength, they had been ambushed suddenly, and Gon and Killua fleeing was the only way they could survive. Gon didn’t even flee willingly, Killua made that decision for him.
So, why include this whole lesson on how to apologize to a friend, when neither the audience, nor Ging, nor Kite think Gon needs to apologize to Kite?
Isn’t there someone else Gon needs to apologize to–someone Gon did in fact hurt deeply with his actions?
As stated above, Gon likely did apologize to Killua, especially because he already brought up that he needed to in the conversation he had with Leorio in the car. Chances are, he did that as soon as they were reunited. But…also as stated above, there’s likely a deeper apology that Gon needs to give Killua; one where he fully understands what happened, and one where he can promise not to hurt Killua like that again.
I believe Togashi included this whole dialogue and conversation with Gon apologizing to Killua in mind, not Kite. We never saw this apology, and I believe it’s something that will happen when they see each other again.
Unfinished Plot Threads
While Gon and Killua’s original goals have been achieved, there are still a number of plot threads dangling for both characters. If the parting between them was supposed to be the end of the road for these characters, why bother building up so much unfinished business for both of them? Here are just some of the things in the story related to Gon and Killua that have not yet been addressed:
Gon meeting Gyro, which Togashi explicitly says is supposed to happen.
Gon fighting Hisoka again (assuming Hisoka survives the Black Whale).
What will happen with Gon’s nen? Will he remain nen-less forever or be able to restore it?
What will Gon do with his life now that he’s no longer hunting Ging? Hopefully not do homework on Whale Island forever!
Don Freecss and how he may or may not relate to Gon’s story.
Nanika came from the Dark Continent, something only brought up after Gon and Killua part. This gives Killua a direct link to the Dark Continent arc. How did Alluka come to be possessed by Nanika, an Ai creature from the Dark Continent? Will Alluka have this incredible power via Nanika forever (I suspect not)?
Illumi vowing to hunt Alluka/Nanika down, and also generally will Killua manage to cut ties with his family altogether, to have the kind of future he wants?
Kalluto, now with Illumi and the Phantom Troupe on the Black Whale, has mentioned wanting to bring his brother home, presumably/most likely Killua.
Gon’s mother or origin remains a mystery. While Gon himself didn’t want to know, that doesn’t mean the audience is satisfied by the non-answer.
While none of these guarantee a reunion between Gon and Killua, they certainly signal that Togashi is not done with these characters.
Killua’s Birthday
When Togashi gives his characters birthdays, he does it thoughtfully–imbuing them with both numerical and other symbolic meanings. Killua’s birthday is Tanabata, a Japanese holiday wherein two separated lovers are reunited every year. There’s an excellent piece of meta here that explores a lot of the parallels between Tanabata and Killua’s story and character trajectory, as there’s more to this than I can easily explore in this meta. Note how many similarities exist between the legend of Tanabata and Gon and Killua, particularly in the Zoldyck Family arc.
Gon and Killua have been separated once and brought back together again. With the legend of Tanabata, there are many meetings between the separated lovers, so the motif tends to lean towards them separating and then reuniting again, as they already did once in the Zoldyck Family arc. This leads me to believe that their parting is not forever.
Togashi Exhibition Promotion Video
As a lead-up to the Togashi Exhibition, a video showcasing Gon and Killua was released with newly recorded lines by their voice actresses from the 2011 anime, Megumi Han and Mariya Ise. The vast majority of the lines in this video are actually re-recorded major lines from the series summarizing the relationship between the two. But there are a few brand new lines. One of these is, essentially, “We’re so far away from each other right now, but I believe we’ll meet again someday!”
This video is a promotion for an exhibition devoted to his works, so Togashi himself must have approved this video. Why would this be one of the only brand new lines in the whole video if he has no intentions of reuniting them within the series? It would have been a simple matter not to mention any sort of reunion between them, but the fact that it was one of only a handful of truly new lines feels important and noteworthy.
Off-Screen
Just a small point, but one worth considering. At the end of the Yorknew City arc, Leorio and Kurapika go their separate ways as they fade out of the focus of the story for a while, only to be put in the same stage together once it’s their turn to be a point of focus again. (Never mind that they haven’t gotten much time together in this arc yet, but I’m sure they’re in the same place for a reason.)
One of the reasons Togashi may have chosen to separate Gon and Killua at the end of the Election Arc is that they, too, are out of focus for a while. This makes sense if you think about it–Togashi spends all this time developing the relationships between these two pairs of characters, having them remain together while the focus is not on them means the audience would miss out on developments and interactions between them. It’s easier to separate them and then reunite them again when it’s time for them to have the spotlight again.
The Little Detours
This is more abstract than the other points, but I think it’s just as important.
One of the most prominent themes of Hunter x Hunter is summed up in Ging’s words, “You should enjoy the little detours to the fullest. Because that's where you'll find the things more important than what you want.” This is what Gon learns when reaching his goal–that the most important things in life are not the achievements you make nor the way your journey ends, but the people you meet along the way, the enjoyment of the journey itself, all the places it takes you, continuing to seek more throughout life.
Gon meets Ging at the end of the Election Arc, his original goal, but is this truly the heart of Gon’s story? Killua finds something to do, as he told Gon he wanted to do, but is this truly the heart of Killua’s story? The heart of their stories is finding each other, the ways they changed and helped each other, the joy and solace and pain they found in each other. That’s ultimately what their stories are about–not simply achieving their goals. To say that their goals are achieved and their story is done now misses what Togashi is trying to say.
Hunter x Hunter is filled with characters whose life trajectories were changed by an encounter with one important person. Many of these characters also had their life trajectories changed by losing those people. Togashi can be a harsh storyteller at times, but I don’t believe he’s crafting a story in which his two main characters find each other and change each other so deeply, tragic circumstances and painful misunderstandings happen between them, much remains unsaid, and then they simply part, never be seen again in the story.
In my viewpoint, the only major obstacle standing in the way of an eventual reunion between Gon and Killua is Togashi’s health and how that affects his ability to tell what he has planned of the series. He has stated a commitment to finishing the series to the best of his ability, so it’s just a matter of what his body’s limitations will allow him to do.
At the very least, for all of the above reasons and more, I do think Togashi fully intends to give us a reunion between Gon and Killua in the future. I hope that in time, we will get to see him share the rest of what he has planned for these two characters.
#hunter x hunter#hxh#killugon#gonkillu#gon#killua#hxh meta#meta#separation meta#long post#my posts#I've been working on this for so long!#it feels weird to finally post it but it's TIME#I hope this is reassuring to people who have been concerned about this#especially because I see people saying we won't see them again all the time both in western and eastern parts of the fandom#and I just really don't think that's togashi's intent#he wouldn't include all of this for no reason
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1.01 / 2.17 (41)
#I love how out of so many callbacks in E41 (and even a direct E01 flashback) we also get this tiny little E01 callback#I love how Mahidevran immediately steps in to assure her son that she won't leave him in *any* uncertainty that may come#whether it's about them both facing the unknown future in Topkapi for the first time that would truly point to the separation Mustafa fears#(but rather separation from Süleiman and Ibrahim for *both* Musti and Mahi right from the start that Musti will sense and not take well)#or *someone else* facing an unknown future with the *exact* seperation attached to it that Mustafa fears - separation from mom#(and Musti relates and sympathizes with that situation instead perhaps namely due to whatever separation he's experienced)#(also Musti having grown fonder of his brothers as well; this whole gifset can sorta sum up Mustafa's development#re: his feelings for his brothers up until now but that will be a post for another day:))#I love how both scenes are staged with the direction emphasizing the vastness of the castle in E01 making Musti and Mahi smaller as if#they are sucked in already before even entering there but they still lean on each other seeking each other like a child seeks#his mother's closeness and E41 being set in Mahi's chambers the castle having already become their home and Musti getting this#accustomed that he has his own chambers already and goes to his mother's just to visit but always feeling at ease & the same goes for Mahi#they're already used to some distance and it is even encouraged to an extent (E34) but they're always there for each other#and Mahi gets joyful relief of SS calling hse in her chambers instead of the frantic nervousness that overtook her in E01#when SS didn't even *visit* her and her son; Mustafa gets a little sad look when SS calls her here instead of the insistence for#SS and Ibrahim to come but he goes to his room calmly & respectfully anyway for his mother to have her moment while in E01 he couldn't see#anything outside of his father's absense and of course he's like that he's a child but it's like they've all grown up and come so far aww#also the reversal of their positions in the two scenes and them talking on equal footing <33#just me fangirling all around for no reason <33#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#mahidevran sultan#sehzade mustafa
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Shima is it Coralaw 👀👀👀
...................MAYBE
#Shima answers questions#Coralaw#NDJKASNMKJDSADSA#To be 100% clear I do NOT ship Law as a 13 year old child I ship him as an adult#They are both consenting adults!!#...At least in the context of an AU where Cora is alive!! And they reunited as adults!#Also the 13 years of separation and Law's devotion and dedication to Cora i.e. his tattoos his pirate crew#his jolly roger and his revenge quest on Doflamingo AND the intense pining got to me OKAY#No matter how you look at their relationship Law's devotion to Cora is NOT normal. That is not heterosexual behavior. LMAO#The dependency is so unhealthy and I am unwell.#At the VERY least I can definitely see it being one-sided on Law's end#Again you do not devote 13 years of your life to killing a man for someone and classify that as normal#Law didn't spend that amount of time on his parents OR his sister#It was just Cora. Squinting eyes emoji#Also I should have expected this when I made that post a month ago about them being platonic soulmates#Bc they ARE. And they could be...MORE#Anyway if this makes any of you uncomfy that is perfectly fine and valid#I probably won't talk about them in a shipping context too often anyway I just figured I'd bring it up!#You can block the tag or unfollow it's fine 👍#Just pwease no steppy#At the end of the day they are fictional characters. They are not real#Also iykyk but I blame a certain someone's amazing comic series for this. I have been CONVERTED#Listen I just want them to hug and hold hands okay. That is all 🥺#One Piece
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yall don't know platonic yearning like I do 😤
#all i want is a friend i can build a life with#we'll sleep in separate beds but occasionally we'll both get up for a late night snack at the same time and giggle about it#we'll call each other husband or wife while also having our freedom to seek out sex or romance outside of our partnership#there will always be someone to come home to and i won't feel the stifling pressure to perform romance for them#i want my future kids to be raised in love and friendship#i want them to know that they don't have to be a certain way in order to be loved#i want someone to hold my hair when im sick and let me cry on their shoulder when things are hard and stick up for me when i need it#i may never have this and it hurts my heart#ive told myself that being a single parent would make me happy because ill be happy as long as im not in a romantic relationship#but i don't know if thats actually true#ive resigned myself to that as a possoble future for me because being a parent is improtant to me#but there's this loneliness inside of me that I don't know I'll ever be able to get rid of#i thought i had a chance at the life i want with my ex and thats why i held on so long as tried to ignore all of our incompatibilities#but at the end of the day#hes a hopeless romantic and will always want the intense romantic love i can never give him and i will always resent those expectations#i wish things were different#personal#vent#aro tag#aromantic#platonic yearning#queerplatonic relationship#feel free to ignore but if you see this and also feel this way I'd love to commiserate :')
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...Do you ever think about how Sonic truly is the only person who cares about Nine now?
#*Sonic voice* I do. All the time.#*Shakes Sega and Netflix until Sonic Prime falls out* Please please please you can't leave it like this for him#Nine's character arc isn't done. He's alone. The only person he likes/the only person he cares about is separated from him and everyone else#in all the shatterspaces hates him how is he going to cope with all this?#sonine#sonic the hedgehog#nine sonic prime#miles nine prower#nine the fox#sonic prime season 3#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime s3#sonic prime season 3 spoilers#sonic prime s3 spoilers#i just be ramblin#I am begging for us to get an epilogue where intershatterspace travel is figured out again. I need Nine to have a chance to conclude his arc#I need for him to be able to see Sonic again#the fact that he's completely alone aside from any robots he builds and Sonic currently won't get to attain his dream of introducing Nine to#his friends and going on adventures with them all is so sad and bittersweet to me
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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idk if i'm gonna include this in my chenford pregnancy fic, but i was thinking about who would be the certified baby whisperer at mid-wilshire, and at first i was like, "it's totally grey", but then as i was thinking about it some more i was like, "nah it's totally smitty". 😂😂
#*carly catalogs#chenford pregnancy fic#i was just thinking about exasperated new chenford parents showing up at the station with their baby who won't stop crying#and angela and nyla urge them to go to smitty#to which tim and lucy look at each other like 'really? smitty??' 🤨#and they're like 'yes trust us there's just something about him that babies love'#was thinking about that one time in grey's where owen was looking after harriet and this just came to me#you know how some people just have that energy about them that instantly calms babies down???????#yeah you can't convince me smitty doesn't have that superpower#i can totally see them handing off their daughter to him and her instantly going quiet like 'how the holy hell did you do that?' 😧#the rookie#chenford#maybe i'll write a lil snippet of this separate from my actual pregnancy fic
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is god kind to you?
That depends on what you mean by "God".
I came into faith with my birth, and later in life denounced it, as I felt was my duty as a man of science. A man, now separate from my previous life, leaving it all behind. And I returned to it thoroughly humbled, pleading for forgiveness that I knew I had no right to. No, He did not hear me, did not save my soul – but there was nothing left to save. Is it kind to leave your child to his misery, to punish him with indifference for his hubris? I suppose not. But I do not think He is wrong for that either.
One of the commandments says clearly and plainly: you shall make no idols. But how do you know the difference between an idol and God? How can you not let yourself be fooled if a look upon his face fills you with warmth that you've never felt before, that you never were and never will be worthy of, that, no doubt, must be holy? Halos and streetlights shine the same way to the unenlightened – I disregarded both to gaze at the stars. I was treated kindly, but with the very same kindness that the shepherd shows to the lamb before slaughtering it, before... sacrificing it to the God that he worships. But there was kindness. For better or for worse.
I heard some acolytes calling the Dread Powers Gods, and if you are asking if the one that claimed me is kind to me, I have to cut you short – there can be no feelings. It is a purely transactional, mostly blind relationship. It has no virtues to speak of. Just all-encompassing, overwhelming hunger, a black hole at the back of my mind. It cannot be kind, but I doubt It would be kind to me even if it could. I neglect Its call way too often.
#tma rp#asks#cw religious themes#ooc: “I won't make Jonathan call Jonah his God; he's not self-aware enough for that” <- famous last words#anyway. I have one note I am willing to share. where he says that “halos and streetlights shine the same” he obviously calls back to the#idol thing – people confuse artificial light (idiols) for holy (god) because of their ignorance. but then he turns and says he chose the#stars over them... and stars are supposed to be Jonah in this analogy. he separates him from that distinction and gives him his own category#because that is how he sees him. something else. beautiful shining unreachable and yes holy but somehow in his own way
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I've watched Jack's (Jacksepticeye's) playthrough of MyHouse.Wad, and at first, because I only heard of Doom and never played it, I let it play in the background. Until Jack's voice starts reading the attached letter to the game.
My thought immediately went, "This is something, and I feel like I'll like this something." I rewind it and watched it from the very start to the end. But I felt it wasn't all that it was, I bounced from his to the comments, explaining the game and all being recommended to play it for yourself. I don't have the resources to do so, so when I saw a comment about a video explaining it, I looked it up. The video lays out the house and the different ways you can go from point a to point b. I've seen Power Pak's after watching Jack's playthrough. And just now, I've watched Pyrocynical's video and theory on it.
There's two that stood out to me, near the end; he lays out the theories and practically dismisses the queer interpretations of it. Until now, I've always been in the camp of "Thomas and Steve were a couple, but due to the time period, or their families, they kept it hidden." When watching Pyro's video, I started realising, why were there pills on the bathroom floor, why the crib, the ring? And I felt like Pyro was nearly there, he was so close to putting it together.
But he dismisses Thomas perhaps being trans or that Steve and Thomas are gay--calls a "fat stretch" and "Level difficulty: Medium" respectively.
I've prefaced all this, because as someone who's transmasc, it felt invalidating. For months I've seen this game--although I never played it and only watched it--as a queer story of grief and loss, of processing that loss, of going through stages of denial, of reliving memories, of just wanting to reach an end where you feel at peace, of looking back on that journey and thinking to yourself that you've made it--past the hardships to a place where you can feel at peace again.
MyHouse.wad being as ambiguous as it is but leaving all these little tidbits is as when it comes to art, hard to piece together. But hearing about how there's also a trans interpretation of made me perk up, thinking, "oh, it's going to be talked about in detail," only to be disappointed.
So, despite being that MyHouse.wad has probably had this interpretation ("tHeOrY") put up already, I still felt compelled to write my own view on it using the pieces that I know of--but, there might be details that I describe vaguely because I don't remember them all that much.
We get tiny little small glimpses of Thomas through Steve's entries, of introduction we get along with the link to download it. And even just from the descriptions of the items in the game like the ring, the die, and whatnot. And the first thought is, "oh, they're gay, but they're not out," which is a sad thought, yes. But I held that interpretation close to me. It's a journey of Steve trying to get through his grief, of plunging in to his thoughts, dismantled and breaking apart as they are. The rawness of everything, of how for him, it probably felt so fresh still and this game, of going through their mod map is his way of processing--never mind how it consumed him, as he said.
And what I consider to be the best ending; the real beach, with a heart on the sand, initials--"S and A, forever". Who's 'A'? Isn't it supposed to be 'T' for Thomas?
I've seen how 'A' could be for "Allord", Thomas' last name, and at the time, yeah, maybe it is A for Allord. But what if it isn't? What if 'A' is the deadname--using that initial, despite it being a deadname, was probably used to protect them, protect him-Thomas. To be seen a heteronormative couple to get away from the hate, the stares, the animosity.
What about the excerpt of their death? Thomas' photo clearly being of a man? Well, that's just it. It's an indication of how the family has accepted Thomas for who he is and to honor him properly, used what a photo of what he looks like now, of who he really is. Proudly too, showing him as Thomas Allord, age 35, in the newspapers. This is their son, brother, and husband.
This is certainly something that will be labeled as a "fat stretch". The crib, then? The pills? And the bloodied bathroom? Perhaps, Thomas had gotten pregnant, experienced a miscarriage in the airport bathroom and had to be rushed to the hospital. As Steve puts in the description of the baby bottle; "It wasn't meant to be." And as he writes in his journal entry, he had a dream, a baby crying in the attic, in the crib, a still born baby.
Perhaps, Thomas was ready to carry the baby--their baby and due to complications, what happened, happened. They'd already bought the crib, but put it away, and we see, maybe both of them had hope that they still had a chance, clinging on.
"If Steve and Thomas are together as you say, then why does Steve refer to Thomas as "my friend" or "my childhood friend"?" Living through life closeted brings habits, unfortunately.
I've grown up without realising that I'm trans, and it was only the past few years where I've realised that the gender I was given and raised to be, isn't who I am. Despite my family knowing, they still call me with feminine pronouns, I get referred to as "sister", or "she/her" a lot of the times. And it's become the biggest norm for me that they just fly by my head without even noticing it, without getting the chance to say "that's not my pronouns".
Is this a "weak" point of the "theory"? No, because I see it as valid. People who aren't out or don't have the chance to express who they are live day to day with being misgendered, seen as someone they're not. I don't want to say, "everybody experiences this" or that there are people who don't go through intense dysphoria that it becomes crippling; I'm just saying, that for me, this is how my day to day is today, what it's like--a sort of cynical indifference to it that boils beneath the surface of my skin.
Or, this is Steve's way to be ambiguous; Thomas was Steve's friend first before they reunited, gotten married, lived together, after all.
Maybe, he wanted to detach himself in his grief and longing. A way to protect himself from the immense loss he's going through and this is his way of doing that. By saying that Thomas was just a childhood friend, it probably eased the pain just a bit.
Or, Power Pak states in his video, isn't it strange how explicit names are never--if ever, rarely-- given. Thomas' name doesn't show up until February of 2023. Steve's name is never used. Maybe, Steve wasn't the one who wrote the journal; a third party who saw the effects of loss on Steve, instead?
In the newspaper clipping of Thomas' life, it's stated how he reconnected with his high school crush, got married and moved in with his partner. The ambiguity could mean that the family simply didn't want bigots to be bigots toward their loved one.
In Steve's clipping detailing his life, he also reconnected with his high school crush. "Soulmate", this person is described as. And like with Thomas', "partner" is used, rather something explicit like, "husband" or "wife."
Although, "wife" can't be correct either since Steve doesn't have a partner listed who outlived him, simply his family.
With MyHouse.wad being as up for interpretation as it is, there's ways of reading into things, one can take it however way they want to, where they want to.
And I, personally, like to think that Steve and Thomas are happy together, with their cat, cuddled up together in their home.
You picked up Die. "Roll for intercourse?"
I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything to bring him back. I feel so sad and it feels like my heart is heavy. I can't help but think about all of the fun times we had together growing up. All of our adventures, our secrets, and even our arguments. I miss him so much and I can't believe he's gone.
You picked up Ring. "I do."
I attended the funeral of my childhood friend, and I was overwhelmed with grief. As I looked around at everyone else in the room, I could feel the sadness in the air... I never imagined that I would be saying goodbye to my friend so soon.
You picked up Wine Bottle. "Drunk Buddy." You picked up a Bauble. "Christmas makes me happy."
Happy Valentines day to the only person I ever loved. For a short time, you brought a little happiness to this painful existence called life. I hope we can be together again one day.
You picked up Baby Bottle. "It wasn't meant to be." You picked up Pill Bottle. "Refill needed." You picked up Full Pill Bottle. "Feelin' fine."
You picked up Game Controller. "It's my turn."
Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for.
#MyHouse.wad#My Writing#-ish?#If someone reads this please be nice I know I probably got somethings wrong#Or that this interpretation has already been talked about#I just wanted to make a sort of timeline ish interpretation thing so I can get my own thoughts in order#I also know nothing about the Doom community and I only know stuff about MyHouse.wad#Pyrocynical practically dismissing the queer reading and then finding MyHouse's developer's previous partner as if to say#“See guys?” feels quite dirty#in a sense where it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth#Of course MyHouse.wad's story is fiction#but intentionally going out of your way to show the developer's family like it's a Gotcha Moment#Pyro was so close to putting the pieces of a puzzle together but it's as if he's trying to cram in two already interconnected pieces#Into the wrong holes and going “It just won't fit!”#Thomas and Steve left things ambiguous because there are things that are probably just too private and simply only for them#I can't believe honestly how he went about Thomas being trans or how Steve and Thomas can't be gay#Only to talk about their matching obituaries for the next theory#Then adding in the whole "the developer based this mod on his relationship with his partner is just#Do you not know how to separate fact from fiction? Because of course MyHouse is going to be fiction?#If Steve really is dead then Veddge's introduction to the game and saying how his “childhood friend” has passed and implying that#Veddge /is/ Steve? Do you not see how strange that would be? Or does he think that someone from Steve's life is just going around#With his account acting as if they are Steve?#My head's starting to hurt from all this Pyro honestly the fuck lmao
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ended up fucking around in the middle of studying (sorry if it's illegible and looks messy I sketched it in outlook and bitch has a limited color palette) I just couldn't stop thinking about them
the idea is that the golem is a walking garden-grave where new life grows from the remains of the necromancer masters who came before the present keeper, they carry knowledge and wisdom of old while remaining a "living" part of the world (idk if I'm clashing with some necromancer canon here I don't have the time to keep track of things like that recently)
I figured the plants would be the kind typically associated with death and the dead (yew, chrysanthemums and some other I'll research later)
it's not meant for combat, walks mostly like an elephant and has a similar demeanor too and although it has its battle use when needed, mostly its appearance is enough to deter potential enemies and the couple can take care of themselves just fine without it too
and that's the necro-gardener I made at work in july and the main base for the idea
I once saw this beautiful cemetery located on the border of a forest and it was so beautiful and full of life despite the amount of death stored within it and it made me wish for a burial place of this kind, where people could ponder and enjoy the blooming world around them instead of pointlessly crying over me and that's what that guy was meant to represent
I'm happy he came back unexpectedly and now with an addition of a boyfriend!
#diablo 3#diablo 4#necromancers#original characters#sometimes a family is two necromancers and their 500 year old golem#why am I thinking about necromancers so much recently#this is still a work in major progress but I'm happy with them ?#maybe I won't abandon them after a week hashtag hopeful#I tried attaching this to the og post but I realized nobody would see it so I'm posting it separately :sad
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simultaneously very excited for this and also a bit worried... bill and mizaistom have both commented on how kurapika and the 1014 guards are already basically at their limit just protecting woble & oito, kurapika will probably want to help fugetsu too but will he have the bandwidth
#hunter x hunter#hxh#melody hxh#also have been enjoying melody getting her own arc separate from pika up until now#but i won't lie i really want to see them cross paths#technically aside from kurapika's black whale emergency call they haven't actually had dialogue in over 20 years#(not that i've known hxh nearly that long but. fun to think about)#are they still chill. is there Tension from kurapika's descent into mafia underboss brooding in a church basement full of eyes era#me-cringeposting
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I know people are like "ignore canon, it's a suggestion!" but. Maybe I like staying somewhat canon compliant.
#also this is about ingo#i do headcanon he got back home post-pla#even if we don't SEE that#i prefer to believe that and wouldn't want it confirmed that he didn't#or that emmet was separated from him#pokemon#no fear one fear#memes#i think i'm probably safe because game freak never follows up on these storylines#and probably won't isekai a subway boss when we just got one in the previous game#just. yeah. pla made me really care about them.
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