#I was so scared she was going to die!
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Baldur's Gate 3 Ending Spoilers Ahead :)
Okay why The Fuck can't we have a romance ending with the Emperor. Why THE FUCK NOT. WHY. THIS IS UNFAIR. LARIAN YOU ALLOWED ME TO FUCK THE GUY, YOU ALLOWED ME TO TRUST HIM AND BE THERE FOR HIM AND TURN INTO A MINDFLAYER MYSELF, AND THEN I CAN'T HAVE A ROMANCE ENDING? THE FUCK???
#okay the fact that he basically goes 'do your thing and I'll be waiting for you for as long as it takes' is sweet but#BUT#I TURNED INTO AN ILLITHID TO SAVE HIS STUPID TENTACLY ASS#(and not to have to kill Lae'zel either)#I LITERALLY TOOK THE BURDEN UPON MYSELF FOR THOSE TWO IDIOTS AND BECAME SQUID#I did all that PLUS I forsook my romance with Lae'zel and then the game fucking ends with A LETTER?#NOT EVEN AN IN-PERSON GOODBYE?#LARIAN??? HELLOOOO?#I had a whole sequence of Karlach going to Avernus with Wyll which don't get me wrong I'm glad she's fine!#I was so scared she was going to die!#but why is that the only cutscene I get#nothing about the other characters and most of all NOTHING ABOUT THE EMPEROR#the narrator goes 'you won't have to face this burden alone anymore' and my shippy ass was already smiling ear to ear#thinking 'cause I'll be with the Emperor right'#'I'll be with the Emperor right...?'#and then cuts to black. what the fuck. What the actual fuck.#Larian you buffoons shouldn't have let me have sex with him if you didn't have a romance ending. No I'm serious I feel scammed#'Zero are you really complaining about not having a romance ending with the tentacle fucking thing' YES#YES DO YOU KNOW ME YES HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER IN THAT GAME
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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Originally, Bruce and Dick slept in the same bed.
I like to twist this around: Bruce, being a young parent, was VERY protective and worried about his boy who wants to go fight criminals with him, and it translated into him refusing to let Dick leave his side after difficult nights. Dick is hurt? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick isn't hurt but it was a close call? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Bruce just got scared but Dick was fine? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Dick is scared? He is sleeping in Bruce's bed. Of course, this led to Dick also refusing to leave Bruce's side when Bruce gets hurt or could have been hurt, so he also sleeps in Bruce's bed on these nights. And, as he grew up in a circus, always moving around, he is used to sleeping in his parents' arms or very close by, so it's normal for him.
So, Dick is often sleeping in Bruce's bed, cuddled up to Bruce. And as he grows up, he sleeps less and less in Bruce's arms, and he supports less and less Bruce's suffocating anxiety. Finally, he stops completely.
Some events make him wants to crawl back in his dad's bed (his multiple SA, the destruction of Bludhaven, the multiple times he thought Bruce died, etc...), but he never dares to. He is an adult now, and he fears Bruce would have a problem with it. Bruce is also not that welcoming toward physical affection since Jason's death (something Cass fixes, but that's another story). So, Dick doesn’t, even when he craves to.
Until Bruce is send back in time and believed dead. When he comes back, Dick just cannot stop himself, he needs to hold his dad, and he is so afraid Bruce will dissappear if he isn't touching him. He is holding him all evening long, and when it's time for bed, Bruce wordlessly goes to sleep holding Dick with one arm, the other around Tim. (Damian isn't close enough to Bruce yet to dare come sleep with them, Cass is in Hong-Kong, but she is jumping on a plane and will join the sleep-cuddle pile, Jason isn't back in the batfam yet but the possibility of losing Bruce scared him so bad, he is going to start to make efforts to not be on bad terms with them)
#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#batfam#dc comics#my ramblings#Jason also needed to sleep with Bruce anytime Bruce got hurt because it reminded him of his mom#and he was scared Bruce would die if he looked away#but Bruce had calmed down after his fight with Dick and wasn't making Jason sleep with him anytime he got scared#Bruce is a good dad but that doesn't mean he is perfect he is flawed#and I believed his fight with Dick is inevitable and important for both their character development#anyway about Cass she is very touch starve in Batgirl and JUST WANT A HUG FROM HER DAD like all her life she just wanted to be hugged#but only ever got training and violence growing up#so the moment Bruce shows her he will give her affection and hugs? she is hugging that man so much#and because she reads people so easily she knows he loves it and never hesitates to just jump on him for a hug#Let's go back to Jason he has a breakdown after battle for the cowl because he realizes his dad is GONE#when he sees Bruce again he is ugly crying behind the hood and he punches him to see if he's real#then he runs away because he isn’t ready to face his feelings#okay I need to stop talking about my batman canon#Dick as a kid: *scraps his knee* Bruce: *refusing to let go of him* What if it gets infected and HE DIES?!
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truly and literally obsessed with how advtime civilizations see their ancient founders as glowing angels
#the human founders one reallllllly gets me. like the wizards might actually have been glowing figures of light#but i know the humans were just scared refugees like everyone else. fleeing from the mutants and destruction#wizard city didnt have to go so hard on that scene of them ascending out of their bodies. its like. one second long.#ahgmeemgheme. goes crazy insane.#adventure time#not art#i feel like theres another similar instance but these are the only glowing angels i know of... the s-mos utter reverence for bmo is close#also. those.were those the founders or the usurpers. of wizard city. i get confused. how was that city built. or made. or what.#how did all that work. it makes no sense to me. she tells pep in a fit of desperation before trying to make him die to host her god.#give me more information you horrible woman.#i dont blame her. shes angry she came downstairs and found out her friends didnt clean up the dead guy they were supposed to clean up#ok stops myself from talking infinitely about nothing. i am supposed to only talk about what is relevant.#'angels' is a loose term i can apply to anyone who looks cool in adventure time including those evil lookin triangle mfers
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Does anyone else feel like the incinerator gun chair room from Zero Time Dilemma would have better fit C Team instead of D Team
#elaboration in the tags#zero time dilemma#zero escape#ztd#I think of this every time I watch a playthrough and get to that room#carlos ztd#akane kurashiki#junpei tenmyouji#c team#like just about any combination fits with the potential character growth both Akane and Junpei would have from it#I understand the main character is Carlos so if we were to keep it as him making the decision then I would have Akane in the incinerator#and Junpei in the chair#but if we’re going to throw ‘main character chooses’ then you could truly have either Akane or Junpei at the gun with Carlos in the chair#I say all this cuz there’s the obvious Akane incinerator parallels and I imagine it could trigger a breakdown for her#if Junpei is behind the gun would she beg Junpei to shoot Carlos to save her?#would Junpei see that Akane sees other players as pawns to save her own life? and if she doesn’t beg does it help Junpei#see the humanity in her? where he previously thought she was uncaring but here she clearly is to save Carlos at the cost of her own life#but my fave configuration is Junpei in the incinerator and Akane at the gun#it helps them see from each other’s point of view. how scared would Junpei be being in the incinerator and there’s nothing he can do#but rely on someone else? Junpei in characterized as pretty selfish in ZTD so this experience could have him empathize with Akane’s#‘selfishness’ in the previous games. realizing you’d do it too if your life was on the line#and Akane can see just how difficult it is being the one to directly have a hand in how people die or at least see their bodies.#and is it worth it to just save one person?#yes Akane’s games have a way for everyone to survive and win at the end. but in the moment the players don’t know that.#I think that configuration would do SO much for akane and Junpei to better empathize with one another during ZTD#this could’ve been a whole post but I wasn’t confident enough in my coherence to properly format it. so tags you get
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i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- no i don’t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t possibly ruined eloise’s life#- similarly: eloise isn’t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and she’s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao she’s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like she’s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didn’t just ignore anything pen said and that’s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didn’t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh that’s weird she doesn’t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasn’t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasn’t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i don’t think the queen is going to name her the ‘emerald’ or anything because she’s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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called my grandma again & when i brought up t she started crying. i told her i'm happy on it and she said "i know, thats not why im crying. when you get older things just change so fast and so much" and that kinda. took me back
#i love her very dearly but shes also the most heartbreaking woman in the world sometimes#like. shes spent her entire life being viciously abused by men. and still submits to her husband & just does whatever he tells her to.#who to vote for. what to cook. what to do with her day. who she talks to.#& she constantly tells me thats just what she needs to do as a woman. & it makes me sad!!#because shes so smart & headstrong & funny and strong tempered but she masks it all in favor of a man#& she could move to where i live so easily! she constantly talks about how much she misses me! but she wont!#shes going to live and die in that town where shes doing nothing every day but cook for her husband because shes too scared of change#i think she would live & thrive if she moved here but she never will and thats devastating to me
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Seeing a white person say unironically that PK and WL are colonizers is so fucking telling that they have zero idea of what racism actually is or the implications behind it, they're just parroting the most basic bullshit to look good. Like come the fuck on that take is racist as shit and its not because PK and WL are any less awful than colonizers. It's incorrect at best but genuinely an awful fucking take when parroted for clout bc you dont wanna be seen as problematic
(It's racist bc equating a genocidal god who you have to shred apart with extreme violence in order to have peace with the pain and anger of indigenous people is. Hm. Bad!!! Not to mention the fact that Radi has a very strong Christian angel motif going on and engages in a 'holy crusade' against everyone in Hallownest INCLUDING OTHER INDIGENOUS TRIBES NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE PALE KING like how the actual fuck can you look at her and go 'oh yeah she represents indigenous people because the moths have what look like dreamcatcher motifs with the essence motes' and unironically think you're not being racist. What the actual fuck)
((Double disclaimer: you can actually write a really interesting and nuanced altcanon narrative with this concept but the problem is that almost nobody ever does, they only ever flag it as 'problematic' because they want to look good, not bc they know the implications))
#im not saying who it is but god fucking damn. idiot.#hollow knight#anyways maintagging this bc i hate this so damn much#also no this is not bc i write a lot of pk or wl. i do not care to defend them. they're fun bc they're awful#and honestly if they were colonizers canonically id def. enjoy writing them getting their just desserts just as much#but the problem is specifically centered around looking at radi#a very CLEAR old testament example of divine wrath with christian ties and a fucking crusade to convert everyone#and go 'oh yeah shes the victim'#im telling you right fucking now as a mixed-race muslim that she is NOT#also to be clear i do like radi as well but she genuinely scares me#which is good! but she scares me because shes a genocidal force who demands you convert or die horribly#which as a guy who grew up in a middle eastern family post-911#is not that great!
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They surely have to have something of her as well, you know?
#nexomon#nexomon extinction#nexomon spoilers#nexomon extinction spoilers#nara nexomon#nara nexomon 1#nara nexomon 2#everything was so choppy near the end there :')#the children of Omnicron are so sly you would never understand#anyway Deena hi darling. im scared for you#xendars already happened and with jv hinting solus is dead in the next game. i worry about your wellfare#also get better problem solving capabilities#in n1 you overthrow your dad then you vow to watch over him for all of eternity#Netherworld when Omnicron says that Nexomon will die without his soul you go 'you have to do it. that soul is also the source of great evil#in n2 you could've probably kicked Xanders butt OR ran if you weren't worried about the kids behind you#she should really get better problem solving abilities and think about herself for once#anyway that was a ramble#hey i drew n2 nara i don't usually do that#Nexomon fanart#fanart#art
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Holt’s vision was basically the first thing to go as she became infected with the corruption happening in Sierpinski-23 and it absolutely wrecks me
#I WISH I WAS BETTER AT STORYBOARDING AND DOING COMICS#bc I think about that moment between her and sieben#Holt’s eyes are visibly cloudy and the most she can make out is light/shadow and rough shapes#she can’t make out any of her old lover’s features and relies completely on her voice and touch#Holt can be pretty stubborn/prideful for a eule (the more I think about her she’s probably degraded some but is reliable/quiet enough abt it#but yeah she’s especially stubborn about Sieben. but at that moment she’s also so so scared and in pain#and she’s trying to have good humor she’s trying to be brave for Wanze at least#I think there’s a certain amount of vulnerability she can have with Sieben though due to their history#they both know Holt’s going to die#and so Holt doesn’t mind stopping the act for a second#if it means she can ask Sieben to hold her hand for a bit#and she does. it’s nice for a while.#Sieben doesn’t really want to look at Holt (her face is falling off she’s gross and seeing her like that also makes Sieben want to cry)#there is a lot of bitterness and regret between them and there’s a lot either of them could say#I think abt them and that particular moment A Lot#Wanze also :((((#Sieben only visits her earlier on but Wanze sees Holt as her mind starts to go#it’s hard for both of them. Holt doesn’t know who she is and can’t recognize her#so a lot of their time together is Wanze trying to comfort her and let her know everything’s alright#she can’t save her she’ll never be able to it’s not her fault#but Wanze will never stop blaming herself for it#she could’ve done more Holt did so so much and they were right. Wanze IS just a Fehler. a bug an error a mistake#she can’t help the person who thought the world of her. the person she loved more than anything#Anyway idk where I was going with this not anywhere in particular just Thinkin about them#blorbo tag#holt
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Whooo I’m mad stressin about round seven
But I do know that the bass will be FUNKY
#ahghghh#it comes out SO SOON#I am not going to be able to do anything but think about to os#this#everything is going to be put on hold#assignments NO#homework? NO#alnst 7#yes#the only thing that will have my attention#and it will be the only thing i think about the rest of the day#im actually so scared#also#my poor roommate#shes got to deal with me#shes a real one#she listens to all of my ramblings and everything#a true homie#pray for me I won’t survive this round#and pray for her cause she has to deal with the aftermath#two people are going to die during round seven#whoever dies and me#but hopefully all goes well#or as well as it can#fingers crossed yall#feels like its evil christmas twas the night before alnst 7 and all through the dorm was rosie screaming and crying not out of the norm#alnst till#alnst luka#alien stage#alnst
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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Well written characters have a core conflict that consists of a goal that the character wants/needs to achieve, and an obstacle that gets in the way of that goal. For Damon, that core conflict is Love vs. Fear. His goal is love - to be loved, to have love. The obstacle that gets in the way of that goal is his own fear - fear of being abandoned/betrayed/rejected, fear of not being enough, fear of letting people down, fear of losing his loved ones... in short, fear of losing love. Every majorly bad decision that Damon makes, he makes either in reaction to or in anticipation of that fear being realized. When he kills Jeremy in S2, and Aaron in S5? He does it because he’s just been abandoned and rejected by Elena/Katherine. When he hides the cure from Elena in S6? He does it because he’s afraid that if she becomes human he’ll lose her. When he feeds Elena his blood in S2? He does it because he’s afraid he’ll lose her in the sacrifice. These seeds are planted throughout the entire show. In 4x15 when Damon sires Elena to turn off her humanity (another thing he does out of fear), Stefan tells him that it was a mistake because despite Elena losing her brother, she still has Damon. Damon’s reply? “I’m not enough.”
There's a conversation that Stefan and Damon have in 7x22 that lays it all out neatly:
Stefan: You really think I did the right thing by taking Caroline against her will?
Damon: One hundred percent.
Stefan: You said that's how you know you love someone. And for a second there, I actually believed you. I thought that my love for Caroline was so strong that I would do anything to protect it. But then I realized, that's not love, Damon. That's fear. That night that you put yourself down, it wasn't because you love Elena. It was because you were afraid if you didn't, you would do something terrible, and you would lose her forever. And that fear was so powerful that it overrode any love that you felt for me, or Bonnie, or anybody else. I refuse to be ruled by fear. I refuse to be you.
In 7x10 when Damon is forced to face the truth while in the Phoenix Stone, he tells his mother, “Give me a chance to let you love me.” This is representative of Damon’s entire journey throughout the show. Damon doesn’t let people love him because he’s scared that they won’t. That’s why he tells Elena in 3x19 that he doesn’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations, and he tells Bonnie the same thing in 8x10 when he reads her his letter. Damon’s self sabotage and his insistence on pushing everyone away is a product of the fear of what will happen if he lets people love him - but by giving into that fear, he ensures that he’ll never get what he wants most.
In order for Damon to have a successful, satisfying ending, he has to 1) overcome his fears. He does this in 8x16 when he attempts to self-sacrifice for the right reasons, in direct contrast to his self sacrifice in 7x22 for the wrong reasons - a sacrifice he makes out of fear:
“There is a girl waiting outside for you, and if you go in there with me and get all screwed up, you're gonna have problems with her, and you're gonna blame me.” - Damon to Stefan, 7x22 (S7 is written to be a tragedy but that’s another post)
And 2) he gets the chance to let himself be loved. That’s why Delena has to be endgame. Damon finally getting a chance to let himself be loved is central to his character in a way that makes any other ending a tragedy for him.
So what about Stefan? Stefan’s goal is Choice. The same way that Damon has lost in love, Stefan has repeatedly had his choices taken from him. Katherine takes Stefan’s choice away when she compels him, bloodlust takes Stefan’s choice away when he becomes a ripper, Klaus takes Stefan’s choice away when he enslaves him. This is why Stefan is so protective of Elena’s ability to choose, and it’s also why narratively, Stefan’s worst crime is taking Damon’s choice away when he forced him to become a vampire. Morally, it’s far from the worst thing Stefan has done, but thematically it’s the misdeed that matters the most. That’s why it’s brought up again and again.
The obstacle that’s getting in the way of Stefan’s Choice is Vampirism. Whether it’s his own or someone else’s, Stefan can’t choose the life he wants to have or the person he wants to be without vampirism getting in the way. For Stefan to have a successful, satisfying ending, he has to 1) reconcile his relationship with vampirism. He does this by escaping his vampirism when he’s cured. And 2) he has to have the opportunity to choose. That’s why human Stefan is immediately on vervain, and that’s why he maintains the ability to choose to sacrifice himself even after Damon attempts to compel him in 8x16. Is it the best way to have Stefan accomplish his goal? Personally, I don’t think so. I would’ve preferred to see him accept his vampirism rather than escape it, and I would’ve preferred for him not to die. But in a finale where one brother makes a choice to sacrifice himself and the other brother gets the girl, it’s clear which has to be which for their arcs to resolve in a thematically satisfying way.
#delena#damon salvatore#stefan salvatore#meta#text#lala talks#apparently kevin williamson swapped the deaths at the last minute? and ppl said it's because he's petty#it's not because he's petty it's because he understands thematic storytelling better than anyone else on that team#anyway speaking of#S7#the way that damon manipulates stefan into letting him go in the finale by using his own rhetoric against him#because he's STILL so damn scared#after stefan spent the entire season fighting against the stone that was trying to get him to do that very thing??#chills#remember liberation by phoenix stone is not a good thing lol#it liberated damon and he wanted to die#the entire point of S7 is that stefan and damon need each other!!!#stefan even says it before damon convinces him to let go#also lol at caroline saying damon finally made the selfless choice#she didn't hear his reasons “you're gonna blame me” nope its still very much about him and his fear don't get it twisted#damon was NOT supposed to go in there by himself#but he did... and look what happened#honestly brilliant writing i didn't want to like it but there it is
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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