#I want this book to exist but idk how to do it
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boyfriend headcanons . . . . featuring drew starkey !
notes: hcs for boyfie >.< i'll probably do a part 2 bc there's so much you can cover doing boyfriend hcs lol. not proofread bc i am lazy. these are all kinda random idk.
sfw
sweetest boyfriend ever! he’s genuinely just too kind for his own good. he pays attention to the little things, listens to you, spoils you rotten, is constantly complimenting you, and never lets his love for you go unheard. you didn’t think it was possible for boyfriend like drew to exist until you met him.
whenever asked about you in interviews he gets all smiley and flustered. doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for a year or for 17 years, he’s still cheesing and talking about you like you’re the only woman to ever exist.
he loves staying in and reading books. i can see him helping you broaden your horizons when it comes to reading. he’ll buy you both a copy of a book he’s been itching to read and he’ll let you read it at your own pace but he’s constantly asking questions about how far you are in it and what you think.
drew is soooo secretly clingy. everyone knows he loves physical touch and being around his loved ones, but they don’t realize how ‘bad’ it really is. he’s literally a big baby in a 6’4 beefy mans body. when you’re getting up in the morning he’s the type to say “no, don’t leave yet. just a few more minutes.” and yank you back into bed and kiss every crevice of your body. or he’ll always want his arms around your waist, he just loves holding you and making you feel safe because you make him feel safe too.
drew has no problem taking on the more "womanly roles", he loves cooking, cleaning and doing really any household chores for you. he's such a good cook, sometimes you'll come home to the best pasta of your life. he loves making sure you're fed asf and healthy!
he's so supportive of literally everything you do! he'll always hear you out on everything, even things you think are "stupid" or "not good ideas". if you want to pursue something, he's always the first person backing you up.
nsfw
he can man handle you like it's nothing. whenever you're teasing him he'll just pick you up and take you to his room and throw you on the bed, and you're just giggling the whole way there.
size kink. more for you than him...... but you love how big he is compared to you. his big arms, big back, big hands, his height. just standing next to him having him basically hovering over you is enough to get you going.
drew is soooo sweet in bed, he really takes his time with you. foreplay is huge for the both of you; kissing, heavy petting, dry humping. he's so playful and just wants the experienced to be fun and feel good for the both of you. obviously drew loves sex, but I don't think he sees it as something he necessarily needs, but moreso is just happy he gets to experience, especially with you. if that makes sense, he's just happy he gets to be with someone who makes him feel good and thinks he's sexy. and obviously vice verse, he's happy he gets to make you feel good and thinks you're the sexiest woman alive.
he loves to experiment. if you're ever down to try something new, so is he! he makes your relationship such a comfortable space to share and talk about new things you want to try.
#bookshelf#drew starkey#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey headcanons
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Jude chapter 3 silly but kinda detailed summary
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
kate successfully completes sortin out letters so she heads to the port where jude is talking with the foreman. its there she sort of thinks back on her time at raven co and the long and short of it is that jude, as the ceo, is actually really outstanding, and he acknowledges the efforts of those who work hard, produce results and whatnot, and rewards them in turn.
(that said he could work on his wording ,,)
time skip to night after judes done and they all walkin back tgt where kates like “i think i’ll be able to have a good dinner today” and jude scoffs at her callin her a twit. and shes all defensive like hey whats wrong with wanting to eat good food and judes like when did i say that was wrong?
all of a sudden they stop in their tracks and jude tells kate “on the count o’ three, crouch” and kates all panicked like tf is going on but jude already starts counting down so she crouches anw (in a panic!)
some guy in a suits out to kill jude. god knows who too bc apparently jude don’t know him either 💀
Jude: Who are ya? Can’t say ya look familiar.
[ insert some lines im lazy to tl ]
Jude kicked up at the man’s chin, causing the man’s body to do one smooth flip before collapsing onto the ground.
Man in a suit: Jude… Jazza——!
Jude: N’ like I was sayin’, who the hell are ya?
ok turns out jude does remember him in the end, its just another dude who broke his contract with jude and was selling up some illegal drugs and whatnot.
Jude: I told ya, didn’t I? That if ya breach your contract I’d show ya so much o’ hell you’d wish you kicked the bucket?
J: I fulfilled that promise for ya. Havin’ a grand old time in hell, aren’t’cha?
omg he pried open the wound on the mans face and he let out a cry to the night sky that could shake anyone’s soul silly.
kate then thinks or foreshadows (yk how like ikevil stories r kinda told like kate is recalling the past? like “i didn’t realize it then, but xyz” kinda like one of those moments) that what she witnessed that night was but a prologue of what’s to come bc they get attacked over and over again.
kate and jude get into another argument like “i feel im gonna die every time! im at my limit!” and judes like “well ur in the way loiterin round like that” then jude just yeets off w/o listenin to another word.
she does feel something bothering her tho
(For someone like Jude, he should be able to avoid these grudges…)
When I thought this, I came up with a theory that relieved me of this unsettling feeling.
(…Could it be he’s making himself an enemy of many on purpose?)
‘Yeah, right,’ was what I thought, but also, somewhere in my heart, I felt such a theory may also be true.
shes like there’s not enough info rn but if i do know anything its that
Kate: At this rate, if I stay with Jude any longer…a hundred lives would not be enough!
and so shes like i gotta learn self defense! so she goes knocking on a certain someone’s door like pls teach me le jutsu of self defense!
Ellis: Okay. (╹◡╹)♡
turns out ellis was also thinking of teaching her some stuff abt self defense soon.
so ellis takes kate to the lobby and kates like why the lobby and ellis goes to a bookshelf to take out a book which actually reveals vics weapon collection and takes out a gun, telling kate to try and hold it.
idk if this is a real gun or not (as in it exists irl), apparently its made of silver with a wooden grip.
ellis thinks its well suited for kate. like its lightweight yk. hes like you may need to use it jic. and then hes like
Ellis: But, it’s kind of refreshing.
E: Other than me, Jude seems pretty adverse to putting people by his side.
E: So, maybe he wants to get along with you?
kates like mmm doubt but at the same time she has this question in her mind w/o an answer of why he went and wrote a whole contract and let her stay by his side then? shes abt to cook up a theory in her head when…
just then jude comes in.
Ellis: Ah——Jude.
Jude: We got a job to do.
so they head off to some noble mansion.
Jude: How do ya do, we’ll be here a while.
Nobleman: Ah, Mister Jude?
apparently this nobleman is connected with the guy in the suit jude beat up in the beginning of the chptr. he made him spit out info.
Jude: If ya just were sellin’ somethin’ shady I’d let that off the hook. Illegal drug’s some child’s play.
J: However.
Jude raised one leg and rested it atop the long table.
Jude: I seem to recall the contract prohibitin’ the sellin’ and buyin’ of humans, or am I wrong?
ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍
#ikemen villains#ikevil#イケメンヴィラン#ikevil jude#ikevil jude jazza#jude jazza#ikemen villains jude#cybird ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen series#otome game#otome
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tagged by @magenta-somethings on a 10 people i'd like to get to know better tag game :> this was fun to do!
last song: 100 kaunaa by lyyti (i've been absolutely obsessed with her music lately, every single song is so beautiful)
fave color: green (almost typed orange at first by accident. i considered it my favorite color for a long time but lately green has definitely overthrown it)
last book: lazarus by lars kepler (i'm trying to read all 9 keplers before christmas so i can ask for the newest 10th book as a christmas gift)
last movie: west side story (the 2021 version; i watched it with my stepdad and musical-loving sister)
last tv show: arcane (i'm watching season 2 with my other sister)
sweet/savory/spicy: sweet all the way (i'm a candy lover through and through and also have the spiciness tolerance of a sickly medieval peasant who's survived on turnips their entire life)
relationship status: single (for 25 years and pretty much happy with it)
last thing i searched: vaporeon (someone mentioned it in a tiktok and i wanted to check what it looks like because it was relevant to the joke. yes i needed to google what vaporeon looks like, no i'm not a pokémon person, what gave it away?)
current obsession: project diva (currently the only game i'm actually playing on my switch)
looking forward to: tattoo session 2 of 3 this sunday!!
bonus topics
favorite drink: i don't really drink coffee but caramel lattes have really grown on me lately
song playing on a loop in your head: salamander by deco*27
current favorite character: jinx from arcane (almost said ciel phantomhive because i've been thinking about black butler a lot again but right now the arcane brainrot is just taking over. also am i really basic for saying jinx? i don't care)
fun activity you would like to get into: i absolutely loathed crocheting at school but some crazy part of me wants to learn it for some reason
last video game: project diva (been also playing a lot of subnautica and neon white lately)
last comic/graphic novel: a couple days ago at a bookstore i flipped through a graphic novel about a middle-aged woman in a straight relationship coming out as a lesbian. the last one i fully read was at a library, about fatphobia and living and existing as a fat person. both were autobiographical i'm pretty sure? unfortunately can't remember the names of either one (and they were both by finnish authors so idk how much it would help anyway. if a finnish moot happens to recognize either one i'd be happy to hear)
tagging (with no pressure!) @mayrine @kiilttis @indy-ug @rainia @appleflavoredkitkats @plaguethewaters @stainedpurplehoodie @genevawrenn @agaricriminal @starlit-bawka
#sipuli speaks#i really hope the tags work#i had to edit some of them and idk how tumblr notifs work in a case like this
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I want to post about the book I'm trying to write but I haven't been very good at writing it so I feel weird posting about something that may go unfinished
#writing#writers on tumblr#asexual#queer writers#writers of tumblr#tumblr writers#writers block#writer stuff#writer struggles#writer community#writerscommunity#wannabe author#queer author#author advice#authors of tumblr#Novel#Fantasy#Please help#I want this book to exist but idk how to do it
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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also i realize i'm saying all these noble and beautiful things about the channel from the purest depths of my heart. but actually i'm also just doing this because i fucking love the witcher books and it pisses me off that people don't know about them that much in english and i can only go for so long (seven years) with people not knowing that there are books. or that the witcher is from the 90s. or polish.
#'whatt i didnt know the witcher was polish. wait where is poland' funky music stops.#like statements that just crush your soul?? my god netflix did a number on the witcher's perception#'so is it based on the video game? the book? there is a book?'#'waaait the second season wasn't accurate to the books? wdym...?'#>knowing the witcher >knowing henry cavill >not knowing who andrzej sapkowski is#when the literal writing is like inseparable from polish and that's why the translation is so hard#when the literal story is like chock full of allegories and references to real life polish history#and it only exists because of a very interesting time in contemporary polish history#like i'm not mad at the PEOPLE who don't know about the witcher i'm mad about how it's been TREATED#with witcher 3's fame at least people who knew the game generally knew a little more maybe#with netflix it's like no one knew anything about the actual witcher and it was really really sad#i do blame the artistic direction but i also blame the marketing and the writing and everything to do with everything#because how are they supposed to know if no one told them. if witcher here has been so separated from what it actually is and is about#like why not just leave witcher alone and get into any other fantasy. there is so much other fantasy out there. witcher is just one of them#yes and that is the plan in 10 years time but#it's not just about reading for personal enjoyment but for what witcher deserves in the english language space now#the witcher series is about suffering but idk if its characters or IT ITSELF has suffered more#zoltan chivay voice 'there IS something like reciprocity after all'#witcher helped me so now i want to help it. i will not abandon you in your time of need !#maybe people know more about the witcher than i think and i've just been incredibly unlucky in my experiences but#people thinking there is only netflix and the third game maybe would be hilarious if it wasn't so fucking sad#IV
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."
#I've secondhand seen the way Sherlock...was.#And yeah that's very pointedly cruel to the audience.#But not everything is that aware of its following to point by point mock them for half an hour.#And I think people forget that for a period there was a unique combination of awareness of gay people and homophobia bad#and a severe need to avoid being perceived as gay (and sometimes homophobic) at the same time#while it was ALSO very acceptable to treat the existence of gay people and homophobia or discomfort with both as a joke#so that whole wink wink nudge nudge dance was a huge thing in some of the 90s and earlier 2000s#and sometimes by doing that people accidentally made it seem even more fucking gay.#Or on purpose. People also forget that yeah gay people could exist as a joke but they couldn't be casual protags or w/e.#It wasn't really done like that.#I think what it's really proof of is that the 90s/early 2000s is long enough ago that people have become illiterate to the cultural cues.#When comedians complain 'you cant make jokes anymore' sometimes this is the exact thing they're referring to.#Gay people being on TV or in books isn't some funny joke you make anymore. Just being gay or seen as gay isn't the punchline it used to be.#People are shitty about it still but it's in a different way now. Being gay isn't as much the big embarrassment it used to be.#Gay tv shows and books are a whole market now. And stuff like Sherlock or supernatural were made right in the middle of that shift.#It's the only way you could position a strategy like this. I don't know if that cultural moment really exists anymore.#Audience backlash is also more massive and in real time.#Now instead of mockery at the idea of idk Dr house md being gay conservatives would see it as a 'culture war' thing.#And non conservatives are more vocal and more liable to criticize. TV shows are seen as keepers of culture in ways they weren't before.#I don't know how to describe it exactly. I'm not an expert and I know I'm missing some pieces or things I wanted to point out.#But yeah I just think people kind of. Forgot how people treated gayness as some kind of cootie disease you had to say#You didn't have really hard all the time. People are still sort of like that but idk the language changed.#A lot of talk about homophobia and queerness is very pseudo-academic now. The distancing happens with different signifiers.#But. Yeah.#☠️#I also think queerbaiting requires a specific kind of intent as a marketing strategy.#Instead of the more likely 'well we have an unintended gay following now so I guess we can throw in some fanservice#the network would literally never allow us to do anything with it even if we wanted to though.'
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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the whole "cats choose their owners" thing is really funny to me because ivy very much did NOT choose me. she was a slightly dim-witted and very rambunctious feral kitten, and that combination led to her getting herself stuck inside an old chipmunk nest halfway down the steep bank of the creek by my parents' house. from there she proceeded to scream her head off until both my mom and i came out to see what on earth was making all that racket, then we excavated her out of that hole like a sad little potato. she was grateful for the rescue, but definitely NOT grateful for the ensuing flea baths and conversion to indoor cat life at my apartment, which she reminds me of regularly. ivy i'm sorry for saving you from an early death due to predation/disease/cars, but can you stop biting me every day of my life please
#even every other day would be an improvement.#i do in fact take her out for leashed walks regularly when the weather is tolerable but it hasn't been possible for months and she's FED UP#however. i say all this but she routinely climbs into my lap for naps & greets me at the door purring & headbutting every time i come home#so clearly she's not that unhappy. her tolerance for regular cat-owner shenanigans however is essentially non-existent.#after 6 years though i can read her like a book. i know exactly how many head smooches i can get in before she gets too annoyed#and exactly how long she wants to be held when i come home before she wants to be put down#and exactly what she means when she 'gently' chews on my ankles ('play with me now or i'll bite harder')#but strangers on the other hand? guests in my home? my beloved human friends? they do not speak her language.#and the margin for error with her is razor thin. if you don't listen immediately when she says 'stop touching me' she will go from lovey#to SCRATCHING YOU BITING YOU HISSING HISSING HISSING almost immediately.#i have tried everything to convince her that's unnecessary but i think she is just SO sensitive she can't handle it#but i still love her so much. i understand her and she understands me. idk WHAT i'm gonna do when she eventually dies i'm gonna be a wreck.#in a lot of ways we are SUPER similar. i also lash out when i'm overstimulated & i also have a much lower threshold for that#than most people.#i get it.
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Do you have any recommendations for books that are similar to acod?
Unfortunately, not really. I and others are on the hunt for them, though!
Primary one so far is The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir--the style of "fuck you knowing who the hell the mc/narrator is is a privilege not a right" is strong there. Similar in how drastically different events/understanding is at the beginning vs the end. Delightful science fantasy story. like acod you WILL be confused
On a related note: this is a list of books similar to TLT, so by extension you may find something there worth reading/similar to acod?
And I have yet to read him for myself, so this might be off, but I've heard good things about Ken Liu's books? About the plot and character complexity. Personally have been meaning to start the Dandelion Dynasty
Also if you're willing to branch out of books, I know I rec it a lot, but Black Sails (to me) has a similar vibe. It's not fantasy, but the layers to every action, the secrecy, the reveals, the character depth and how everyone overlaps and clashes with each other. Very compelling
I wish I could give you more! since acod i've been wanting to find more like it, but it is a process--we will get there, though!
#a chorus of dragons#quil's queries#nonsie#also if others have more/better ideas please do feel free to share#i would love to give you a thorough list nonsie. first I just need to read a shit load of books#acod has such a unique feeling to me. so its hard to rec anything like it.#i just gotta find them though I'm positive them exist#we can search for them together :)#also for some reason I want to add the expan2e to this list#idk why. it's wayyy more sci-fi. and also I haven't read it#just seen the show#but given how good the show adaptation is I'm pretty sure the books go hard#also my dad adores them so i do have secondhand accounts of how good they are#but just because they're good doesn't mean they're like acod#so. didn't add it. but it was in my mind this whole time
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can we talk about how it honestly kinda sucks that leafpool’s “climatic main character death” happens in a book that has barely anything to do with her
#you would think that in a book where the main characters sister dies… the book would… idk…#be about the two sisters…?#be about their relationship and reconciling with what they did in po3 and how they exist in the clan now after its blown over#theres some emotional support on both sides but thats not what the book is about. the book is about bramblestar and squirrelflights argument#squilf isnt concerned about what happened in po3 and how all that affected her as a mom. she wants a new litter#and the three being her kits too is just alluded to a few times. otherwise its just abt sparkpelt#(and alderheart too but tbh hes barely in this. hes background noise. which i welcome but its kinda funny to me#the book features his mom…. youd think she’d have more to say or do with her son but hes so nothingburger)#ppl are like ‘’no leafpools death was respectful bc it was in a big super edition!’’#but i dont think that means much when her death was actually revealed in tbc#we all learned through a blurb#and the book she dies in is only kind of about her if you squint#its even more egregious with that prologue. which is effective at setting up the tragedy later but like. what sbt the in between?#cant you give the two sisters more heart to heart convos unrelated to bramble or motherhood?#sqh liveread
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#just need to vent rq lololol#my wedding lehenga came out so freaking beautiful#but it needs to be taken in a lot like. i lost 6 inches on my waist since i initially had it made for my body#and everyone at the shop was like ohh wow good job great you look so great now you look awesome#and my mom was like oh wow good job that’s good you did it#like lol#i wanted to just be like#‘thanks i had to go to iop therapy at an ed center where they literlaly taught me how to eat food. like a toddler. thanks’#like i didn’t lose weight for an intentional reason but thanks for confirming you thought i looked horrible before lolol#idk i have been like every size in the book but seeing how much better ppl treat me when im smaller#i’m just like. :)#if my mom says anything about her body or mine tomorrow i will probably fucking lose it and if you see a woman in nj killing ppl on the news#it’s me. lol#it just really took me out of the experience bc i’m trying sooooo hard to be neutral about my body. and like. i don’t need to hear your#thoughts abt what i look like lmao#whatever my dress is beautiful and i’m so beautiful and i’m excited but i really do think i should be able to hunt ppl for sport#leave me alone#nothing you do can please ppl#when i was 20 and 100 lbs and killing myself and sick and miserable every single day my mom was also just like#wow you look great#meanwhile i was balding and fainting at the gym and failing my college classes bc i was obsessed w my body#text#also look at these cats that are just in luis’s apartment’s hallway like rofl who let them out of their apt!!!! so cute#my mom saying ‘you did it’ as if i was trying to do something made me lol#i wasn’t TRYING to do anything i just am healing my relationship w food and my body#bc i refuse to waste my entire life being bitter and miserable and ashamed of existing#like SOMEONE i know….#anyway this could be you too! if you went to fucking therapy!#i ate ny pizza out of spite after all of this#sorry some of you can’t enjoy a fucking carb !!!!!
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imagine coughing roses and crocus lane exist within the same universe (apocalopsis #0012)
#crocus lane is ghibli post-apocalypse. a world where humans have died out and now beatrix potter critters live in communities#and started thinking jaja imagine this is just what comes after coughing roses#like the extreme end of no fantasy is world like ours except there's animals living in houses* now#first chapter of crocus lane involves finding and collecting a human body so it's not that they don't Exist. they just died out#it makes Sense. but it's just wild to think coughing roses (my doom days by bastille book) exists alongside crocus lane#idk how many wips still exist within 0012#i know my (as i've been calling them) magical girls don't because they're more like... magical realism#there isn't supposed to be an explanation to their magic they're just Metaphors for being aroace etc.#but maybe from the mouths still fits????#i think cyan yellow magenta black also fits still#(sidenote: i think i want to post from the mouths online 👀)#i need to think of 0012 less of a Continuity and more of a Worldbuilding Gimmick#like. no the rules don't have to be the same for every book. but depending on hiw much magic there is...#....that tells you about the end of the world#funny enough i don't think keep staring fits lol that is its own mess#BUT i do think my dreamwalkers idea fits within 0012#butterfly labyrinth fits too i think.....#pia.txt#( misc ) apocalipsis 0012
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#yeah it would have been very convenient for his brother robert#but - oh no! - it was also convenient for his other brother who immediately set off for the treasury and then a hasty coronation#(robert had fucked off on the first crusade that's why he wasn't in the right place at the right time)#(he later ends up imprisoned by his bro in a castle where he learns welsh and writes some poems)#(say what you will about henry 1st he was at least VERY good at getting things from his older brothers)#okay it might have been an actual genuine hunting accident but i only read about dead monarchs for THE DRAMA let me have this#i always enjoy when a history book gets to this point and you find out if the author thinks it was an accident or an “accident”#the normans are french vikings and i've yet to come across one whose name is actually norman#idk if that name existed then but *I* would have named at least one son 'Norman of Normandy' just for giggles#btw every famous woman of this era is called Matilda. all of them. there's battles between competing English queens called Matilda.#i have yet to come across any explanation of why this is. i assume there's an OG Matilda who's famous maybe? possibly a saint?#(there *is* one called Edith too... but then she changes her name to Matilda) (no really) (and it's her husband's mother's name)#idk how you're supposed to write Norman Monarchy Femslash when all the women have the same name#what if i want to read about Queen Matilda's epic forbidden love for her husband's arch-enemy Queen Matilda? eh? eh? EH???#i should probably come up with a tag for my history-related nonsense i wouldn't want people to find it who seek Sensible Thoughts#history fandom#(there that'll do for a tag)
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I was having a good day today for the first time since like…august and then someone said something and I’ve spiralled into anxiety grip ‘imworriedimworriedimworriedimworried’ brain and I’ve spoiled my night fr
#I’m just exhausted of existing this way#I’ve asked for advice and everyone tells me I need therapy or a doctor or something but I can’t make myself book an appointment#I need someone to *care* enough to help me do it but there’s no one who’s bothered and that just fucks me up more#*more#I physically can’t ask for help. I fill out the web form and then delete it before I send it. I start the conversation and then cant explain#how I feel or what help I need or I downplay it or joke my way out of it#and none of it is on purpose I just can’t ask for help#never have been able to#even when I was at school if I didn’t understand something I’d just…sit there and not understand instead of asking for help#idk I just#it’s like barriers come down in my brain that say NO SHARING NO#if I’m mid convo trying to talk about my feelings my tongue physically cannot handle the words#it feels like it swells up or something and I can’t get the words out or make the noise to talk and it sucks#I do agree yes talking therapy might be good for me but again like#where do I go? How do I find the right person to listen who will hear me out? how do I afford it? why would anyone want to listen to me?#thorn screams into the void
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