#I really just needed to vent
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Honestly being a french QSMP fan on Twitter can really be summed up with:
Being shitted on for a week because of the r/place when literally nobody gives a damn about it here.
Seeing people start calling your fav ccs like Baghera or Étoiles names over misunderstood/mistranslated/straight up inexistent words and not being listened to at all when we try to explain.
A QSMP account with over 40k followers tweeting incredibly harmful words for french poc about the french ccs, with arguments used by french far-right, and getting more than 6k likes and people chearing in the comments.
The tweet still getting more likes after french people started to explain how harmful it was.
It's the third french QSMP fan I'm seeing saying that they're thinking of just leaving the fandom because they don't feel accepted at all. I'm disgusted.
I think I'm going to stay here on Tumblr a little longer, or I'll start to think like them.
#qsmp#that's just fucking sad#it's not directed at tumblr fans though#i really just needed to vent#tw vent#tw negative
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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I'm trying so hard to stay at work today, but I feel overwhelmed, probably overstimulated, and just in general so frustrated and I can't get myself to calm down and I want to just go home. This place doesn't give a damn about us anyway I can't do it anymore I can't
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Welcome home
#artists on tumblr#cw blood#i really like drawing wings if it wasn't obvious#drawing has been rough lately though#all the A-I trash going around is so depressing to see#please pick up literally any tool in your hand and create#shape something with your own hands#breathe life into something#it doesn't need to look perfect and polished and photorealistic#literally anything any person has ever drawn with their own hands#has more value than every algorithm generated garbage put together#a vent doodle drawn in the math notebook of a 13 yo girl has infinitely more value#than any stolen blendered together soulless algorithm “creation”#we're humans we create#so just#create#with your own hands and your own ideas
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so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess
#ramble#ughhhhhhhhhhhh ok so#i will delete this later bc idk if this person has tumblr and i genuinely mean no ill will i just need an outside opinion#i vented about it on my close friends story already but i need like. a neutral party#i won't say their name but if you're on other socials you probably know who it is#basically for a while i've been getting messages saying 'this person has hacked your art style' or 'is REDACTED your alt account'#and in the beginning there were like. similarities? but nothing i could really claim and also i don't want to accuse someone of theft#like i don't own any stylistic choices or anything. i've used things from other artists i like. honestly it's kind of flattering#and we are actually really friendly in DMs now and we even joke about it. we message eachother any time we get a comment about it#i made a joke literally 2 weeks ago about how we're two different people i swear#but after adding some Very specific things to my art (like the paper texture/hatching/shiny lighting). they also added them#and i gave them the benefit of the doubt bc i don't like to believe anyone has bad intent with stuff like that. and i've done the same obvs#but recently they dropped some tav lore and it was. basically a panel for panel copy of one of my cyra comics down to the HAND PLACEMENT#and obviously i don't own the Bitch Mother trope or anything but it's just. mmmmm it makes me feel weird#idk it just feels like it's gone a bit far now and i'm not sure what to do about it#like you would think after we became moots they would get scared and stop but i think i was too openly trusting and they just kept going#recently someone on THEIR PATREON thought they were me and they weren't even one of mine (which by itself is funny but. y'know)#i don't want to call anyone out or upset anyone bc it only causes more problems but like. i Know. and idk if they should know that i know#maybe i'm just stupid idk i really trusted that it wasn't happening but it is and i don't know how to feel#hONESTLY I'M JUST MAD THAT I CAN'T DO ANY MORE CYRA LORE NOW BC PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ACCUSE **ME**#also PLEASE do not witch hunt this person i want to deal with this as quietly as possible#i really felt like i was in the twilight zone or just being paranoid so i had to ask
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Second-guessing
#been overthinking all day today and needed to draw how it feels lately#a bit of a vent ahead#it’s gotten really lonely and almost alienating in a way#and the fandom seems so vastly different#and in a way I dont really feel ok in#i do take the steps to avoid anything that i don’t want to see#but it just feels like what i do is pointless#like what i draw is pointless#i know the more platonic/familial themes in my art will always be overshadowed#but its been a harsh truth ive been hit with#and it’s kind of heartbreaking#i’m forever grateful for the reminders of how my art is like a breath of fresh air#but man is it difficult to not just quit entirely#because it always falls back to: why am I doing this? what’s the point?#i’m sorry I feel like such a whiny loser when I talk about things like this#it’s all jumbled and all over the place but to put it simply it’s been super lonely#i just needed to say something before it completely boiled over#im sorry again
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“431; or, queer loneliness”
unknown // emily palermo, what I could never confess without some bravado // good luck, babe! - chappell roan // unknown // unknown // jenny slate, little weirds // dr. seuss, oh the places you’ll go // unknown
#apologies if this is disjointed and incoherent I just needed to vent a bit#as a queer guy I’ve been feeling really pessimistic and unloveable lately#these are just my thoughts on that topic without any real consistency#web weave#web weaving#webweave#webweaving#moodboard#poetry#chappell roan#queer#lgbtq#queer vent#unlovable
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the way I crave a parent who, not only loves me, but likes me, and notices me is so so embarrassing
#my heart aches when i think of the few good childhood memories i have with my parents#i want the mum who played snowman with me after a bath when i was covered in talcum powder#i want the mum who would hold me and not get mad at me when i cried#i want the dad who. actually i dont think i have a good memory of just me and my dad#im sick of the parents who cancel on me and forget about me and refuse to listen when i speak#im sick of being scared and alone and needing parents I'll never see again- parents ive never actually had#im homesick for a love i never really had#bpd#actually bpd#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd diary#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#borderline vent#eupd#actually eupd#emotionally unstable personality disorder#mother issues#father issues#parent issues#family issues
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Do you realize that happiness makes you cry
#pentiment#andreas maler#andreas müller#ulrike müller#can u believe this is what vent art is to me#i just think about them all the time#family can really just be ur parent and sibling and the old guy you decided needs to stay
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ok hear me out????
things that i think stone had to do to nurse robotnik back to health after the end of sonic 2:
-physically dig him out of the rubble and carry him in his arms to safety
-cut his clothes off of him to access his injuries without bending or pulling on anything
-clean, stitch, and bandage wounds
-set broken/dislocated bones
-procure (steal) hospital-grade painkillers and medical equipment
-surgically remove shrapnel embedded in him
-hook him up to an intravenous line to administer (stolen) fluids and nutrients
-build or procure some kind of machine to monitor his vitals and alert him immediately of any changes
-carefully bathe and dress him
-monitor him 24/7 for days, barely sleeping, meticulously cataloging every detail of his injuries to keep track of any slight change in his condition
-kiss him on the forehead (this is what actually made him better he didnt need to do all that other shit)
#im cooking up a bit of a fic on this but slowly bc im out of practice at the writing#its going too slow i need to actually vent these ideas out really quick here#stobotnik#sonic movie 3#thinking about what kind of things stone had to be thinking about logistically#he had to push his fear down and step up to save his life and he couldnt worry about himself...man hold on a second#basically just the idea of stone having all this medical knowledge and ability came to me#and to quote lee majdoub: what cant stone do#it makes a lot of sense to me for him to be capable of all this#agent stone
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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WHY IS THE NINJAGO FANDOM OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR SO FUCKING TOXIC
#“NInjAgO weNT tO sHiT afTeR SEasOn 7”#just say you can't handle change wtf#if you left after season 7 then why are you still here??#STOP BASHING EVERYONE WHO LIKES ANYTHING AFTER S7 BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE CHANGE#these are the same kinds of people as the savemyboycole crowd#like seriously#you're watching a KIDS SHOW and getting mad at the writers for making decisions about the KIDS SHOW to sell more KIDS TOYS#it's literally a lego show to sell lego toys it's not that fucking deep stop harassing people#fucking grow up!!#and i know those fans don't really hang out on tumblr#i just needed to vent#i feel better now#thank you#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising
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highchoolers (and iori)
#thoughts: miyako and daisuke are chronic dresscode violators. miyako isnt allowed to wear a bandana or as many accessories as she does#daisuke usually wears tshirts instead of the button up and gets in constant trouble because of it#takeru's look is the most ordinary out of all of them because hes just happy to be here. usually unbuttons the blazer out of dysphoria tho#iori and ken go to different schools so they arent as accessible but they hang out very regularly#iori especially needs to be included because he's like. the universal little brother and feels abandoned easily#ken and hikari get really close in their hs years since they both struggle with depression and vent to eachother often#lastly i picked that iori screenshot to redraw cause it was cute he still retains his autistic flat expressiveness#.png#chock full of headcanons idgaf . transfem daisuke#digimon#digimon adventure#daisuke motomiya#davis motomiya#iori hida#cody hida#takeru takaishi#tk takaishi#hikari yagami#kari kamiya#miyako inoue#yolei inoue#sorey ken . next time
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on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries
#hi my post#oooooohhh this is just a compilation of my own feelings lately#i know i have a red de apoyo i know i have my dearest friends but it's so hard to not feel alone when we're so far away#idk i just miss school and having someone to talk to everyday i'm not a text gal i need to hear your voice i need to see you i need someone#to caress my hair i need contact i need closeness i need to know somebody hears me#it's not all bad i do love my solitude but i just .... i just think in a room full of people nobody would choose me#lol i'm gonna stop now i just always use my tags as a venting space xd#also yes i had the audacity to translate alejandra pizarnik but i just couldn't find that bit already translated and i really wanted it her#web weaving#on loneliness#loneliness tag#being alone#jenny slate#japanese breakfast#posing for cars#corinne von lebusa#dadu shin#alejandra pizarnik#fka twigs#home with you#fiona apple#left alone#anne carson#plainwater#kiki smith#parallels#poetry#prose#words#lyrics
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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