#can u believe this is what vent art is to me

[vinndas]

Do you realize that happiness makes you cry

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[hangryyeena]

:)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I love interacting w you and your blog and I love the space you created but everytime we interact I feel like I may be overanalyzing my replies too much 😭 but the thing is that I tend to comment on your stuff a lot and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or smth like that w it 😔 so I try to choose my language carefully so you don't think I see you as a friend (bc we're not even mutuals) but I don't want you to feel like I see you like a famous celebrity up in a pedestal either (??) So I rlly try to keep it as. Yeah you're someone I admire and I like interacting w you but I don't want to cross any boundary OR make u feel like I see you as "twst Jesus" (that old ask did made me laugh a bit tho 😭)

it's like. if we went to the same school I feel like you'd be an upperclassman I admire and I know I can ask you for advice in twst/writing related stuff but I wouldn't go for you to vent about idk more personal stuff (??) if that makes sense 😭😭 idk I just think ur really cool and I want to avoid making u feel uncomfortable bc I think this space you created is really amazing and so is your work 🙂‍↕️

[Referencing this post!]

Hello ^^ I don't mind the interactions as long as they don't veer into significant parasocial territory. As I've mentioned a few times before (I believe most recently here), I have been on the receiving end of several uncomfortable behaviors including, but not limited to: solicitation of favors ("I wrote this; can you please read and give me your thoughts?"), solicitation for paid work ("Can you please commission me?"), being asked for personal details (such as income, age, cultural identity, etc.), harassment over posts I have stated are "just my opinion", seeking personal validation ("I believe in this. Do you believe in this? I need reassurance that I am correct."), demands to weigh in on fandom situations (both micro and macro), asking for advice on very significant life decisions, seeking direction on how to make personal art ("I made this OC; can you tell me how to make it like yours?"), and sharing deeply personal stories (particularly regarding health) or vents/traumadumps. If you're not engaging in activities like that, you're probably fine!

I want to add that every creator is different so maybe others are okay with certain behaviors that I’m not okay with. You have to get a feel for what each person is and isn’t comfortable with and adjust according to their boundaries.

`abskldgifniyoadfyasb So you're saying... I'd be an upperclassman... a cool upperclassman you look up to and respect... an upperclassman you can go to for advice even if they seem intimidating or "above" you... but also an upperclassman that you'd avoid venting to (maybe because they've already got their plate full of other stuff)... I-Isn't that just L*ona 💀

[neapolitanupsidedowncake]

UR HEADCANNONS ARE TO DIE FOR 💗 COULD U DO HEADCANNONS ON HOW AIZAWA,PRESENT MIC, IZUKU,BAKUGO,KIRISHIMA AND DENKI (U can do one of those characters or just pick a few from them! Up to u!) WOULD BE AS UR BF! THANK U ❤️❤️❤️

denki and kirishima boyfriend headcanons!! gn!reader

content warning: fluff, established relationship between reader and characters

a/n: when i got this note i was rly happe TwT thank you so muchhhh, it means so so much to me that someone likes the things i write <3 gives me so much power!! power to write more! so sry this one took long eheh. anyway i really hope you like this one!!

DENKI

he's my favorite boi!! 💖💖

you guys probably went from best friends to lovers!

the way he told you he liked you was by some really huge show XD

like he had sero and kirishima to be his wingmans to go to your dorm and they got fake rose petals and scattered them at your dorm doorframe

and you hear commotion outside your dorm like ("AAAAH IM FALLINGIMFALLINGHALP" "BRO THEY'RE GUNNA HEAR CHILL")

and you open the door and you see the trio all sprawled out on the floor and you hear like scattered whispering like "get into foRMATION"

(*ahem* "where's the script man" "bro i think i dropped it on the way here" "ya know what freaking screw it")

"I WOULD LIKE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU, LIKE ROMANTICALLY PLEASE"

onto established relationship!!

in general he's a really goofy bf he'll send you enough memes in about 10 minutes to be a mini fyp

so i don't know if it's a style choice or he needs them for vision and stuff, but in official art he'll wear glasses, so i think that when he's just chilling with you, he'll wear prescriptional glasses (ughhhh he looks rly handsome in them)

speaking of, his hero suit has these blue glasses, so sometimes, he'll put them on you just for fun

i think his ideal date choice would be going to a cute restaurant or going to a cinema 💗

your friends are his friends!!! you won't have to worry about him cheating on you or falling for one of your friends because he does pda with you around them XD

his love languages are (to give)! quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. he likes receiving words of affirmation, also acts of service 💗

KIRISHIMA

he is a lot like denki XD just different font you know?

he lovessss to admire you <3 he'll buy you lots of nice suits/dresses to wear on dates

before you go out anywhere on a date he'll kind of study himself in the mirror before asking you if he looks sharp (no pun intended)

SUCH A FRIGGING GENTLEMANN like husband material if you ask me

he'll open doors for you and hold your hand in a big crowd

he's actually insecure about a few things, and if you let him, he'll open up to you about them because he believes communication is key in a relationship (not that he'll ever pressure or force you to vent to him about stuff)

in general he won't really force you to do anything you don't feel up to

he lovesssss cuddling you, him being big spoon 💗

his natural hair color is black, meaning he dyes his hair, so he'd be good at it i'd think, so if you're just chilling together, he'll ask you if you want to dye your hair

you guys have a lot of inside jokes, like you could be hanging out in public and he'll randomly say something like "hey remember the hairbrush" "oh my gosh STAWP" "AHEHWHEHHWHEHE" people in public be lookin at you like you're crazy

he probably has a rock on his desk in his dorm that he named harold btw

his love languages are quality time and words of affirmation! he likes receiving words of affirmation too!

he plans on marrying you a few years after high school 😂

[rose022]

hi~ im rose! (among other names lol, ask for them or find them) welcome to my intro!

- dont feel bad about blocking or unfollowing me, just wanna say this. i may make posts abt being confused when i see people leave but curate ur own experience, be happy

- you can call me whatever you want idc, just lemme know. like genuinely any nickname. i do have others tbh but ehh

- yeah yeah im an adult so dont block me if i like ur post and u say mdni ight? also for any minors if that makes u uncomfortable u can leave. if i post some here, its likely jokes in some form. both nsfw and suggestive are tagged just like that

- pronouns are whatever is funniest in the moment. or just use your own. neos are ok

- asks and dms always open for anything. i won't really reach out first but i promise you can always talk to me about anything. if you don't have anyone else or just want to talk about a particular thing or want to vent, etc. like genuinely pretty please talk to me about your interests i will gladly listen!!! <3

- also you can always tag me in anything!! i love tag games (i may take a bit) and if theres anything you think id like or reminds you of me id love to see it!!

- don't really have a dni but like i will block you if you're a bigot. im a fag and autistic if you don't like that go away idc. also if you are pro cop or military stuff fuck off

- i post about whatever i want all the time. you may follow for one thing, but there is no consistency here other than what i like. i have too many things i like

- i am not mentally well. there will be vent posts that are on main sometimes. i tend to post them on my vent if theyre particularly bad but there will be some here. you never have to reply, i will be okay eventually.

- if we're mutuals please tag stuff with cw rose for anything with touya or akito being shipped with anyone else or TBHK nene and tsukasa as a ship, self harm images, stuff about spiders (or any bugs kinda) mostly pictures of them or them on someone (bees moths and butterflies exempt), needles if theyre detailed not cartoony, real life gore of animals or humans (not sfx or art just real stuff), sa, stuff about veins, and please use tone tags but mostly just for joking or sarcasm as i tend to assume everything is serious.

- MUTUALS PLEASE TELL ME STUFF TO TAG FOR YOU!!! i do my best to read carrds and intros and stuff but i might forget please remind me please. gore and sexual stuff will get tagged as gore and nsfw but it's mostly explicit stuff. things are tagged as what it is, not with cw or tw.

- !!current things i tag are homestuck, eye strain, saiouma, bsd, religion (marlo dont look), elie shoo (csm saiouma gore), suggestive (anything relating to anything nsfw like jokes or anything else), adrien no look (alcohol, crickets, girl interrupted, hospital innuendos clowns, child death, natural disasters), deco 27, emetophobia

- tags

#rose rambles - my posts

#rose tagged ramblings - i made a separate one for when i talk a lot in tags

#rose art - quite simply rose's art

#rose ocs - the sillies from my brain

#ask rose! - asks

#rose pics - look i don't get creative with naming these i think you can tell

#rose cosplay - ^^^ yeah

#helpful - things that could be helpful to anyone

#save - similar to above but more so personal things

#important - maybe not technically helpful but i think people should see

#favs - self explanatory, i believe

#sillies - similar to above but not really

#luv - mutual appreciation mostly

#heart! - things made by mutuals!

#liebe - things made for me!

#mecore - woah thats so me frfr

#rose writing - idk man take a guess

#für das rose - submissions aka post limit

#favfavs - fav art or fandom things

#wm - reminds me of ocs

(i wanna like fix all my posts to have tags but i reblog so much and itll take me a million years to get back to the start of my account atp. maybe one day.)

- commission info

art:

writing: $2 per 100 words (?)

i also take requests for these!! or other stuff but like it will almost definitely take me a bajillion years to finish so if you wanna make sure i do something, gimme money. but u dont gotta its ok ily anyways

i have a k-fi rose226 and dm for p-ypal

- sideblogs

@nightcord-luka-official

@luka-spotted most active

@daily-akiyama-mizuki hiatus!

@daily-asahina-mafuyu hiatus!

@kokomi-sangonomiya-official

@mafuyu-asahina-official

@wansho-luka-official

@junior-high-enanan-official

@fischl-official

@rosemusictime lol no followers

@oz-the-bird-official (to translate my Fischl)

@ako-udagawa-official this and above in progress (there will be no progress i died)

@daily-purple-character send reqs

@rose-poll-account

@aoi-shirosaki-official pjsk oc rp blog

@hikari-itsuki-official ^

@yuki-jigoku-official ^

@kei-makura-official ^

@roseswonderland things i make

@yuki-spotted

@niigo-va-updates

(i may remove u as a follower depending on if i trust you enough for these next few but if we're mutuals ur pretty much safe)

@engelgram oc gram, to hold the name

@moonlit-thoughts22 vent

@selfless-lvr selfship/kin

@softrosebud agere

@shhh-its-rose moots only ig. random idk

(guys i think I have too many sideblogs help)

@eros-engel fuck it. nsfw blog.

im not active on many other social media but if we're mutuals you can ask for like anything and ill probably have an account. somehow im most active here tho (and in one discord server but u guys cant join)

[lovergirlforjesus]

hello and welcome to my blog! ♡*°:⋆

i'm just a girl who loves Jesus, girlblogging, swimming, singing, writing, & making art.

i believe in traditional femininity and masculinity + modesty despite what i sometimes post.

I believe Jesus is Lord and He loves each and every one of us more than we could ever know !! He is the pure definition of goodness. if you ever have any questions about that or anything else pls slide into my dms!

if you have a highly sexual blog, know that's not what my page is about. i believe in innocent traditional love, not sexualized or lustful. i believe in waiting until marriage and following Jesus as best as we can. Jesus loves you.

🌸my asks are always open if u need to vent or ask advice, or ask me any questions ♡ i love you all and Jesus loves you🌸

dividers by @saradika and @roseraris

[hatgame]

just wanted to say before i ask, i really like both of ur blogs (text and art) and i rly like the way u analyze snatcher!!! ur very well spoken and it piqued my interest

🔥 on dadtcher aus/headcanons

Thank you, you're very sweet :) im assuming you mean snatcher&hatkid type stuff!

Personally, I never liked it, kind of because I disagree with the current iteration of the family institution, and cannot sever that when engaging in fandom musings. A parental role as I've encountered it implies absurd amounts of control over the child, and im not invested enough in parenthood to write it into stuff that doesnt intially seems to function fine without it.. So its just weird adult friend snakar for me. Ive heard of them put in an older sibling or uncle role but I dont really know what that entails and as such cant opine. A friend of mine reads snatcher as much more maternal than paternal & despite what i just wrote i Can apreciate it.. so its really probably about the patriarchy of it all.

I did use to draw dadtcher years ago to fit in but that's about as far as it went.. I still think it's a little funny for 'Look at him at his worst.. Now look at him raise a child' seemingly simultaneously to be in any regard 'fluff', not in that child nurturing cannot be a healing experience, it's just that I get stressed out thinking about everything that she can do wrong... and everything 2019-2020 works featuring it used to do wrong hahaha

(As for fanon opinions,) it doesn't seem to be a common portrayal nowadays, probably as a consequence of 'sniscourse', which I was actually very present for as an observer.. In fact, i dont believe the few posts that actually could be deemed its beginning ever got any traction at all, it was somebody commenting, not-maintagged, that the common dadtcher stuff mirrored their real life abuse. I bring this up because at the time seeing that actually snapped my own discomfort with it into words. Then a mutual of theirs repeated their points, but I dont remember how it snowballed into being about the amount of notes nonsubcon posts got... So that context makes any venting about it 'splitting the community' really odd... because as much as i dont know if homogenizing and critiquing fandom is really productive I certainly did agree with said critiques lololol. I dont really care about the notes/interaction thing But It Does get a chuckle out of me that I draw subcon near exclusively and get barely any fandom inflicted votes. I KNOW IM AN OUTLIER I KNOW I KNOOOWWWW But... teehees. Thank u A LOT for the ask Very Much

[roseofcards90]

please tell me your mappi headcanons <3 and hmhmm... have u thought much about amane or 0608 interactions? :3c

Oooh!!! I HAVE ACTUALLY OMG I feel like people should focus more on their relationship, it’s so sweet!!! 🥺 here are some of them!!!

Mappi headcanons:

- This one isn’t originally mine but yeah I believe in Filipino Mahiru supremacy HONORARY PINOY FR

- To me she seems like the kind of person who would have little habits/ticks she likes to do like twirling her pencil around, bouncing her leg while she’s sitting, skipping around in place those sort of things!!!

- She also likes to gesticulate with her hands a lot so she can get her point across, and it helps her keep track of her thoughts too when she’s speaking to someone

- Her, Kazui, and Mikoto like to hang out occasionally! I feel like they would volunteer together at an animal shelter to help out! :D

- She would show up to Haruka, Yuno, and Mu’s high school graduation and make a whole banner for them! She would make the biggest deal out of it because she’s just so proud of them you know 🥺

- Loves to bake, is really good at it actually (she would definitely do those pie competitions some people have you know whoever makes the best pie gets a ribbon yeah that, she has so many ribbons :3) , but struggles sometimes with cooking, Shidou helps teach her some skills and come up with easier recipes for her to make!

- I also think she would totally stress bake just so she could vent out all her emotions djfjfkfk which results in a lot of cookies and cakes being made. She gives all the extra ones to Amane!

- This is the dumbest one but I headcanon that she’s just extremely good at DDR, SO MUCH SO that one time she was at the arcade with Kotoko, she attracted so much of a crowd with how high her score was while everyone else cheered her on. It was at that moment that Futa Kajiyama, who was also at the arcade at the time, swears to beat her at this game one day LMAO

- Is the sole focus of the majority of the pictures on Kotoko’s camera, has a polaroid picture of them together in her phone case, also they have matching charms on both of their school bags—

Amane headcanons:

- She would definitely do color guard in school! It’s one of her main passions, along with band! I want Amane Momose to play a trumpet I think it would be amazing

- Kazui, Shidou, Futa, Mahiru, and Kotoko are at her games often, they all cheer her on ofc <3

- Shidou always loves to celebrate after her games with giving her pancakes! Ofc she denies them and lets the others eat them, but she’ll save one pancake for herself just to show her appreciation (cue Shidou crying in the corner while Kazui tries to comfort him LMAO)

- I feel like she would be an avid collector of pokemon cards, or just like any trading card game for that matter. Futa always takes her to card game stores so she can pick out the newest packs and they can build decks together. Sometimes Mikoto joins in but he has no idea what he’s doing jhdfbhjd

THIS IS HOW I IMAGINE AMANE AND MIKOTO PLAYING CARD GAMES TOGETHER LMAO

- In the beginning, she wasn’t that good and Futa would always beat her, but now they're evenly matched, and she always revels in the victory whenever she wins in a game against Futa >:3

- Yuno would help with picking out new outfits for her! I feel like they would frequent the mall often lol. Haruka also joins them on occasion, and him and Amane love to look at all the stuffed animal and book stores together!

- Her, Haruka, and Mu would probably take an art class over the summer together and all of them would be so invested in it that it becomes a hobby!

- Once Amane gets to high school, I think it would be cute if Mu gave her a hand me down uniform with custom stitching and everything. The uniform has embroidery all around it where everyone contributed to something on the uniform

- Kotoko takes her to martial arts training classes, which she enjoys a lot. She tries out the new kicks she's learned on Futa and Shidou <3

- Kazui always gives her piggy back rides 🥺

- Amane has a pet cat named Sango, whom she loves very much 🥺 she is very sweet and spoiled, and loves cuddling with her. It helps Amane when she has trouble sleeping, or if she has a nightmare

0608 interactions!!!

- I said before how Mappi would give Amane all the extra sweets she's made, but I also think that Amane herself would try to learn how to bake, so Mappi offers to be her taste tester! Sometimes she creates inedible things and Mappi suffers but it's with a smile as Amane smiles back at her and continues on baking! :D (she'll tell her what she did wrong later dfkjnfd)

- Amane always loves to help out with cooking dinners! She would help Mahiru peel and cut all the vegetables! They would also frequent the food market together I feel like, and Mahiru allows Amane to pick out a few sweet treats like candy that she can take home

- Mahiru buys a little cat charm for Amane's bookbag! She also helps cat sit Sango whenever Amane is busy

- Around the holidays, her and Amane would go to all the festivities around town! Looking at the Christmas lights, drinking hot chocolate, all of that! Amane would start snowball fights with Mappi, and they both get competitive really quick lol (spoiler: Amane always wins <3)

[lastwave]

Hello, if you have the energy, time and will, would you expand on the recent post you made on how people in fandom talk about the skills and how harry feels about them? Like, what kind of things people say are hurtful/inaccurate/uncomfortable, in relation to disco elysium?

I do not mean to pressure you to educate me on this topic, as it is not the responsibility of the affected to educate unknowing people just because they are affected, of course. I just have not found many sources discussing the microaggression regarding the way some people talk about the skillset in disco elysium and the way that they might differ from the general microsaggression about psychosis and systems.

I ask this because I am curious about the way other people experience the world (though I know I will not always get my curiosity sated and this might be a selfish reason) and I want to know what not to do or say in talks about the skillset or in depictions of the skillset in art or writing. I want to be able to discuss and use the skillset as a game mechanic, narrative device and characters in a way that minimizes harm to marginalized groups. I also know that venting or talking about frustrations can sometimes help make one feel better, (but I also know that that depends on the person, problem and the relationship between the venter and the person listening) so maybe this can help relieve some feelings? Those are my intentions with this ask.

I apologize if my careful wording is too overly careful or if this question in other ways causes you unnecessary strife. I just try to be a careful person when it comes to these topics. If you'd rather only respond to me personally instead of the ask, feel free to message me. Whatever way you wanna handle this, if it be publicly as a post, a private message or if you do not feel like you want to answer at all.

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best day that you can have today. Kind regards, Chromatophorium

hiii thank u for asking!

im gonna preface the system bit with whether or not harry & his skills are a system is never explicitly stated, so take this all with a grain of salt

the rest is under the readmore so i don't clog up peoples dashboards

so what gets me is a lot of works imply the skills are less as people than Harry. i understand where the assumption comes from tho, because a lot of media likes to purport the idea of an "original" alter, which isn't how the disorder works. harry is the current host, and he identifies with the body, but the host isn't any more or less person than the other alters.

& we know the skills have independent thought from harry and their own, even if some (or a lot) of them share similar goals (see electrochemistry and volition, two very different personalities w/ different thoughts on how to go about things, but share a goal of keeping the system experiencing joy, though echem has considerably worse coping mechanisms). hell, they even have different political affiliations (see different routes) and a method of coming to a consensus on information (thought cabinet.)

and, as implied in the name, the skills have different talents from harry. *harry's* talent is connecting with people. i interpret the red checks with other skills as trying to let another alter front. i know ive had moments where i've had to let a way more socially adept alter take over. this would be a slightly different conversation if he was implied to be polyfragmented, but hes not soo.

that's why im less inclined to believe theyre a delusion or supernatural thing (shivers excluded, shes definitely supernatural), bc on the most part the skills just act like people, and all display signs of did/osdd (amnesia, distinct personalities, dissociation, etc.) if u want i can make a separate post going into individual skills and how i think they fit how certain alters form, but thats off topic

ANYWAY. it irks me when people boil the skills down to "this is the one that wants good things and this is the one that wants silly things and this is the one that wants bad things" bc it really falls easily into the negative stereotypes applied to systems & by extension psychotic people

[foxghost]

hello! this might be a bit too late as u might be over Joyful Reunion already, but I just finished the 1st book and I have no one to vent to! Why is the danmei fandom not paying attention to this story WTF???? i haven't even gotten to the romance part yet but that was one hell of a gut punch 😭 what else is in store for me? also, I think Wu Du is the ML, he features way too heavily in the bk 2 to not be, at least where I am rn. I never suspected it to be Lang Junxia at all, he's too much of a dad to be one, I think... I'm right, RIGHT?

Also Wu Du is kind of interesting rn, like his entire conflict with being direction less and being the youngest assassin:

“The late emperor said I never did understand what I really wanted. He was right. I’m as direction less as a patch of drifting duckweed, floating whichever way the wind blows."

I'm trying to figure him out. Why do u think he is this way? The other assassins aren't. his entire purpose is to kill, to do as his master says. But, I am interested why Wu Du is being passed around and y he can't stick to one master. And why he is direction less in the first place.

What is it that he actually wants to do? Ik he's young but why did he arrive at such a state. He's kind of miserable, at least the way I'm reading him.

also, I haven't reconciled yet with Li Jianhong's fate, LJ too

sry if I'm rambling I hav a lot of thoughts abt this bk rn and I feel like i'm the only one reading it 😅

One is NEVER over Langjun, my dear anon, so it's never too late to yell into my inbox!

SPOIER ALERT

Okay okay, the book's been out for years and by now so has my translation so YES, you probably got to end of book 2? You'll find out at the end of book 2. Our dear Langjun (which, incidentally, sounds like something that can translate to "my husband" which, accurate) has damaged Duan Ling's trust to the point where his little heart is broken beyond repair when it comes to trusting him.

Why is Wu Du this way? It is a combination of things, but while the other assassins are talented, Wu Du was a child prodigy of the martial arts. In other words, he's the kid who got bored because everything was too easy for him in school. He's also the only assassin who is truly principled. The other assassins can follow orders, but Wu Du believes that he is in possession of a legacy -- the head of the assassins, poisons branch. He knows that as the one assassins capable of easily taking all of the others out, he needs to have a strong moral compass. Working for Zhao Kui (for reasons that you might have gotten to already) knocked him off of that, but following Li Jianhong around brought him back until, you know, he died.

Wu Du needs someone to protect. He needs to know that he is doing the right thing to function. He's really bad at being an assassin.

If you think you're the only one reading it, maybe hunt down someone for a feitian discord server invite and scream into it? I mostly lurk, but from what I can see they're always looking for fresh sacrifices for daddy li and langjun people to cry with.

[tweekirl]

what up guys!!!! >_<

☆°..°..°..°..°☆

this is an intro post so u guys can learn more abt me! :D

~~~~

im naiko and im 14, bisexual and demisexual and it's an absolute pleasure to have you guys here! ill post a lot of stuffz on here such as art, rants, thoughts, vents, and hellpark/south park stuff (as well as my cute and beautiful girlfriend hp estella <3) i can be a bit annoying as some kids might say and it honestly hurts to hear it but i can't help but believe that its true. im addicted to soda, sugar and fidget toys and im VERY fidgety and i can't help it sadly T-T

i hope we can be great friends and you can use the "♡ask me anything♡" button if you have any questions or concerns! ^-^

God loves you all <3

[pedrospookie]

not Pedro related 🫠

trying to build a career in the arts is v hard and while part of me is super relieved to be free for the first summer in almost 5 years, I am also super gutted! and I feel like a failure! even though I didn’t do anything wrong!

maybe I could have tried harder? maybe I could have pushed myself more? but I did that last year and I nearly killed myself doing it — my mental health was so horrific and my cards were maxed, I was clinically burned out and I am still recovering from that physical and emotional damage.

I keep being told to keep going and that there’s a place for me in this industry, and I believe it, I look at Pedro and think “it took this INCREDIBLE actor 20 years of grinding to become the popular artist that he is”, and I’m not even chasing that level of busy. (It doesn’t exist in opera lol)

but fuck these years in the trenches are tough and make me really think long and hard about. I love what I do, but this last year has made me feel less in love and more committed, like any long term relationship or vocation. the choosing to commit every day.

anyway, I got told to please fuck off for my final summer application/audition (for an opportunity that I was specifically asked to apply for) and now I am grumpy because for the first time in years I won’t have summer plans. and it won’t last and I’ll move on and maybe??? I’ll finally get to visit some family on the east coast and learn to catch lobster! do some things that I’ve been wanting to do away from the stage. run that 10k I’ve been telling myself I’ll train for, idk! something!

limbo feels weird and I need to vent. thnx u if you made it this far. go listen to an opera, if you can. support the arts! support artists!

[ikoarts]

October 2023 Art

for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x

2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd

3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have

6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled

9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face

10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..

11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x

ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice

13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute

14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident

15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel

16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun

also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)

19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x

[coconuttz]

pov: you’re a (fashion) student without a support system ♡

ik it can be daunting to build a support system when you have no one... especially when you’re surrounded by a sea of creativity and talent and a culture of pride in doing everything alone (ifyky, no shade); but don’t fret, because I’m here to share how to build that support network from the ground up, just like I had to do. it can be overwhelming asf but it’s totally possible! here are some strategies (this is what i did in the midst of a massive depressive episode) ☺️✨

listen linda, i was a social butterfly. i say this because when i'm depressed i retreat if i can find an escape. we live in a day and age where your whole life can be remote/digital if you want it to be (thx to a remote job, online school, zoom calls with friends if u even see them). imo it can be a sustainable lifestyle for a suprisingly long time... till it's not. i digress.

it’s okay to start alone. being a lone wolf gives you the freedom to explore your style and interests without the influence of others. it can be lonely, sure, but i can be freeing. in my vulnerable moments where i felt alone but was authentic, i attracted ppl who mean the world to me today. so know being alone is temporary. or at least, try to tell your brain that. better yet, don't try; tell yourself this every day:

♡ My authenticity will draw in those who appreciate me for who I truly am.

♡ I am enough, even when I am alone.

♡ In my own space, I can discover who I am without distractions.

♡ I am resilient; I can navigate through the quiet moments.

♡ I attract the right people into my life.

♡ Even in solitude, I have the strength to thrive and emerge stronger.

♡ My alone time is sacred and necessary.

♡ I believe in my ability to build a supportive community.

♡ I give myself permission to feel and to heal.

Each phase of life has its purpose, and I trust that my time will come.

♡ tip #1: touch grass later. for now, get online. find other fashion students who *inspire* you. whose values align with theirs and their content makes you feel good. don't follow people just because they work in fashion-- look for peers, who are studying as well. peers are so important to have through every stage of life <3 follow fashion students and i recommend actual professionals who inspire you. not fashion influencers necessarily, but people who work in fashion professionally, maybe they're a designer or art direct or magazine editor. these folks to to have content that's inspiring and motivating! survey for yourself, you have to be careful what you feed your brain without even realizing it! anyways, engaging with their content in meaningful ways can lead to conversations, friendships, ++ even mentorships. don’t be shy about reaching out when/if you're ready. if you don't want to, thats ok too!

♡ tip #2: most fashion programs offer various resources like internship apps and networks (like a school handshake!) or apprenticeshhip, workstudy, study abroad etc. programs or workshops! follow your school on social media, they usually will have "career service" pages with rly great resources, and updates about networking events, etc. don’t hesitate to ask your professors for recommendations or support; they want you to do well! even if it feels awkward at first, getting involved in school activities is a great way to meet fellow students and form connections.

♡ tip #3: if you’re feeling brave, team up with fellow students for projects or study sessions. you can share ideas, critique each other’s work, collab on a pinterest board (lol) or just vent about a new yt video analysis video that xyz put up. plus, who doesn’t love a little fashion school brainstorming with (new) friends over coffee? speaking of, i'm gonna go make coffee. i have a problem. when i hear it, or even see this emoji ---> ☕️ i want one. brb.

ok, i'm out of coffee :( i made tea instead. but i still smell coffee. can anyone relate ??

♡ tip #4: if you're hesitant about reaching out directly, you can create opportunities for others with your shared interests to come to you. how? by sharing your own experiences and projects. you can post your work in communities like behance or github (to decide, to research on your industry, your niche, etc. and pick what works best for you! educate yourself in what's the latest in the industry, what's popular, make a pros and cons list. like actually take time to decide if u can! that way you don't have to migrate everything over to another platform later.

ok so for example, if you’re working on a design project, that could mean taking a course, or attending a fashion event, or you could share a post about it. one tip that's often used in marketing in general is to include a reflection or question that invites others to comment such as:

"Just wrapped up my latest fashion design project using 3D modeling software! Has anyone else tried CLO 3D? I’d love to hear your thoughts on digital fashion design!"

open ended questions like this when you share your work, an opinion, blog post, etc.makes it easier for others in the industry to connect with you and offer advice without you needing to initiate.

these are just a few tips for building a support system of you're shy, don't know where to start, are taking classes online and have a hard time meeting ppl, are depressed and everything's hard in general, etc. <3 keep your head up

till next time. my tea is ready.

[terraliensvent]

multiple ppl close to kinah were able to verify that they were in the hospital recovering when the attempt happened. all of those ppl could not collab and lie so one person could get “extra attention” in ur words. Im frustrated with terra staff aswell but that doesn’t mean its ok now to call someones suicide attempt fake so ur feelings seem more valid. I find that extremely sickening. U have zero evidence or good reason for doubt or else u would have vented about it already. all u have is ur feefees. u do need therapy. And mod pls stop validating baseless speculation on smth so serious. what happened 2 people needing proof for claims like this

alright yeah im deleting kinah asks now

first off i dont think that people should just believe whatever they read on the internet, because you dont know who these people are irl. again, thats not to say that you shouldnt give support where you can or that you should make public callouts saying that it was all fake when you dont know for sure, BUT at the same time theres a level of speculation regardless because its the fucking internet. people are wild, people are strangers, and there is a non zero chance that people could have lied. just because people have a level of speculation on something they read online, that doesnt mean they need therapy and it doesnt mean theyre a bad person, it means they have a brain. if YOU want to believe it without a shadow of a doubt then thats fine, and if other people have some doubt thats also fine, just dont go out of your way to fucking bother people because thats just unnecessary.

second off, i need proof for accusations like “so and so is posting feral” or “so and so is an abuser,” saying things like “the way that kinah bounced back into cs makes me speculate” isnt an accusation.

the views of the anons i post here arent reflective of my own views, and if something is a problem i give my own input on it in my response. when i created this blog i didnt want to delete asks because i feel like that controls a narrative and makes me an unreliable narrator when it comes to these discussions. if people want to talk about things like this, i didnt want to force silence because thats not how you hold a discussion.

as an additional note: anons have been becoming increasingly aggressive in my inbox, whether its towards one another or towards myself. i implore all of you to stop being so aggressive, stop making assumptions, and stop playing this holier than thou card. so much of the art and cs community is made up of people who will virtue signal and place themselves on a moral pedestal and my inbox is the last place for that. if you want to rant and complain, go ahead, but stop acting like youre better than each other because you have the Correct Opinion on everything and believe everything you read on the internet.

my final thoughts on this are as follows: there is a non zero chance that everyone is lying. is it a small chance? sure. does this mean we should spread the narrative that it was all fake? no. are you a horrible person who should die in a fire because you dont 100 percent believe that the attempts were real? no, but also dont go out of your way to be an asshole because of that belief. i think we should all publicly operate under the assumption that the attempts were real. if you want to privately speculate, go fucking wild. could kinah going back into cs and making stuff for terras possibly be bad for their mental health? maybe. but also, its none of our business. and thats what im ending this topic with, a lot of this shit really is just none of our business and i think you all give way too much of a fuck about someone who you will never know irl.

i dont dislike kinah, in fact i actually really liked them when they were on staff for terras. but at some point we all gotta throw our arms up and say why is this taking up so much of my brain power when this person is just someone i follow on fucking toyhouse.

we are done with asks about kinahs attempt now, unless anyone has important info or something new to say im deleting them.