#I really hope you all enjoy!!
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Here it finally is, the full cetacean eye colour info sheet! A long time coming, and an even longer time in the making. I hope that all you cetacean eye curious people will find this one as fascinating as the killer whale eye colour post. It’s a wild world out there!
#illustrations#namtalk#info sheet#infographic#tutorial#cetacean eye colour#eyes#dolphin eye#whale eye#anatomy#bottlenose dolphin#spinner dolphin#humpback whale#killer whale#orca#false killer whale#gray whale#AT LONG LAST#THE CETACEAN EYE THING IS HERE#I really hope you all enjoy!!#and that it was worth the wait#i started this almost 2 years ago rofl
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I only just now realized what a shame it is we never got to see Al and Greedling really interacting
#nocturnal hangout buddies#so much to talk about like 'why did you kidnap me if you're already immortal you dumb asshole'#and games like 'try to guess the stupid song ling is hollering in the mindspace for the 10 millionth time'#it woulda been good#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#greed#greedling#alphonse elric#comic#my art#doodles#always so fun to come back to this style and remember it's far and away the painting style i'm best at#in terms of efficiency and final look#and yet i basically never use it at all lma o#anyways hope you enjoy this comic that doesn't really have a punchline a;lsdkfj#those are few and far between for me so gotta enjoy em when they pop up!
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Rick and Michonne Grimes - Their Journey Over the Years
It's a broken world, Michonne. And you're the only thing that puts it back together. Til my last breath I am yours.
#the walking dead#the ones who live#rick grimes#michonne grimes#danai gurira#tvedit#nessa007#chewieblog#richonne#userstream#usergif#dailyflicks#richonnegifs#dailytwd#cinematv#twdedit#towledit#tvarchive#otpsource#romancegifs#denim rose graphics#ajshxbsjakaksksk aka me screaming internally; I’m so excited to share this with you all#I think this is the most ambitious gifset I’ve ever made??? but I really wanted to see it through#I chose to do a page for each era of their story (S3; S4; S5; S6-7; S8-10; and finally TOWL)#I’ve wanted to do a magazine layout for a couple yrs now but I was too lazy lol#but when the urge came round again this time for Richonne I got my butt up and immediately started sketching thumbnails#I struggled to come up with a time for the mag cover until I remembered the last (?) TWD supply drop chose the CRM Tribune as its theme#tbh researching mag covers; trying to match fonts; hunting down scenes...it’s been some long nights#the amount of sleep I’ve lost over this set lol but I’m SO SO happy with the final outcome; love these two and their story#I hope you all enjoy!!
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Side Order Typeface: Complete!
HEY. do you remember when Nintendo made a typeface for Splatoon 3's Side Order and never elaborated? It looks a little bit like this:
Well I went over to the lovely @splatoongamefiles and asked for the font file. They gave me the file, all nice and simple, BUT it was completely unfinished... I really liked it, so I finished it myself!!!
This is what it looked like when I started:
and this is what it looks like now!!!!!!!
It took me 6 months because I apparently started working on this in february, but it only took that long because of my laziness! I did, however, know nothing about this kind of thing before except for my vague interest in typography and fonts. I used a free font-making software called FontForge and I had to learn it from scratch and with no help. So I think all in all, it turned out pretty good!!
I also decided to name the typeface since when I downloaded it, it was called something silly and just for the files so I named it Spire after the Spire of Order which I think works very nicely!!
Now I'll talk about what's changed because I did upload beta version 0.2 of this recently!
added uppercases A, D, G, H, I, K, M, V, W, X
added symbols " # $ % & ' ( ) * + - / < = > [ ] ^ _ ` { | } ¡ £ ¿ × ÷
added all the accents you can see above, but not ALL of them because im lazy
fixed lowercase k so now it looks like a normal letter
B - adjusted sizes of the upper and lower sections as well as sharpened corners of the lower section
K - slightly lowered the crossbar
L - curves of the corners are now slightly smoother
z - raised the top right corner by 1 pixel so its no longer 1 pixel wonky...
@ - increased the gap on the left side
deleted all the original file's kerning and did it myself >:)
and lastly! here's the link to download the typeface!!!!!! if you do use it somewhere credit is always appreciated :))))
p.s. if there are any specific characters/glyphs that I haven't added but u really need please dont hesitate to let me know!!!!
#splatoon 3#side order#side order typeface#splatoon#splatoon side order#splatoon typeface#splatfont#typeface#typography#typefaces#type#font#fonts#i didnt remove the copyright on the file because i couldn't figure it out so fingers crossed nintendo doesnt come for my ass!!!!#or maybe they'll discover it and pay me 1 miiiillion dollars >:)#ANYWAY im suuuuper happy with how it turned out and i hope you all enjoy it :)#reblogs really appreciated bc i really want lots of people to find it and use it!!!
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[It was becoming increasingly clear that he wasn't her Sans. He sure looked like him but—this was different. HE was different. Sure, maybe affection hadn't been his forté, maybe his sense of humor was darker than what was generally acceptable, maybe he'd always been cagey and distant but...not something like this, never this. Nobody ever wanted to find out they had been dating a murderer.
"aaaaangel."
The soft sing-song of her name usually made her perk up. All it did now was send a bucket of ice water down her spine. There was something so utterly terrifying about knowing that you're a hairsbreadth away from death. She presses her hands harder over her mouth, squeezing further back against the counter, silently willing him to keep walking...
"tell you what, kid," Sans starts, too close. She suppresses a flinch as she hears him lean against the counter. "you're being pretty damn stubborn about this. but i do like you...so tell ya what! you make it to dawn without getting caught, i'll take the hint and leave you be. how's that sound?"
She doesn't reply, but he takes it as a yes anyways. He always liked doing that.]
#art#my art#digital art#undertale#sans#sans undertale#killer sans#killer#self insert#self ship#im only using that tag cuz she was in a relationship with him lol#undertale oc#HOOOO boy this took awhile#i gave it my all...i hope you enjoy?#i really am interested in the angsty narrative aspect of this specific ship#like...Killer essentially strong-arming an Angel from a random universe into dating him#and they're compatible because well Sanses and Angels tend to go together#maybe he feels something maybe not#either way he has his work and she finds out too much#finished art#happy halloween
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totally lore-accurate swanqueen screencap redraws 4/∞
they're on their first date :3c
#swan queen#swanqueen#regina mills#emma swan#once upon a time#ouat#my art#sq art#sq redraw#i wanted to draw this scene mainly because regina just looked SO PLEASED WITH HERSELF i love her face#but i'm not super happy with the result :<#shoulda picked a different scene after all i felt like i couldn't really do much with this one#(or maybe i'm just not good enough at drawing her yet she's so difficult aaaa)#but i still wanted to finish this anyway!!#i hope you enjoy :>#thank u also for sending me asks with recommendations for scenes for me to redraw!!#i'll keep them in my inbox until i get around to them#thank you so much for the warm welcome to this space ; -; 💜#i'm so happy to see this ship still very much alive after all this time
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so funny story: during the pandemic my sister and I were so bored we recreated the pro-shot of Newsies in LEGO stop motion. We never finished it, but we got through the entirety of Act One and King of New York. So please, enjoy this small part of the Seize The Day dance break!
(If enough of you people want to see the rest I may post more...)
#we were so proud of this#I hope you all enjoy!#it was really fun to make cause me and my sister were just stuck at home#newsies#lego#stop motion#musical theatre#lego newsies#crab's blabbering#crab's trip to the theatre
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jon sims losing his mind in seasons two and three <333
the magnus archives has me in a serious chokehold right now
#my sister got me into it!!! shout out to her#I'm not done yet but I got about 25 episodes left :0#I'm scared#jonathan sims#fan art#the admiral#I can't help but draw characters with cats are you kidding me#this podcast... really exceeded my expectations.#SSSOOOOOO gay#I didn't know if all the stuff I saw was normal gay fanart that's based in hopeful delusion or if there was legit queer writing involved#martin.... i love you#the magnus archives#the archivist#I have thoroughly enjoyed jon's descent into madness#can't wait to start it all over again lol#anyway.... hope this reaches the people who will enjoy it#love from me 2 u#Edit: sorry people who already rbd I switched the line version of the first one to a color one
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< prev part
the trojans social media au (pt. 36): EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU @kevindavidday FOR LEAVING ME INSPIRED WITH THE JEREJEAN MESSAGES bc i wasnt sure what i wanted to do and if i wanted jean to confront jeremy about using his words and then she connected it with kevjean and i was SOLD also thank you for listening to me when i’m talking about the au and throwing silly ideas your way hehe
also the last tweet about andrew breaking riko’s arm is credited to @tardisscreechsound who came w this idea in my chats hehe!! thank you omg 🫂🩷
#the trojans social media au#IS THIS ESTABLISHED JEREJEAN???#YOU BET IT IS#too many screenshots i have to include kevin’s reaction another time#i just hope i dont forget LMAOO#welp i hope yall enjoy this bc i fear me establishing jerejean i’m ending the au soon#what who said that?#lets discuss it another time tho#((i might even be lying i have to think really hard about this))#jeremy knox#jean moreau#jerejean#derek thompson#shawn anderson#cody winter#min cai#haoyu liu#cat alvarez#catalina alvarez#laila dermott#nabil mahmoud#tony jones#antonio jones#renee walker#andrew minyard#neil josten#all for the game#aftg#the sunshine court#tsc
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Living together.
The snail video if you are interested :)
#showing random videos you found abt an animal fun fact is a love language if you didn't know btw#not understanding a topic and starting with drop out ideation is part of the journey when you are a student.#it evolves later (or simultaneously) with wanting to quit your job. in WW case both apply at the same time#vash is the kind of guy to really be marveled abt every little new piece of information he gets in his hands#and the 1st person he thinks abt to share his knowledge and joy with is ofc ww#the fact that they live together only amplified this by a thousand#ww tends to hear him out and also watch more videos with him. rn he's too busy weighing studying vs quitting#I really enjoyed drawing Vash in the bg for this one he's so cute#i hope its noticeable how much fun i am having by putting them through all of this.#why didn't i do this more since earlier???#aesthetics be damned. put them THROUGH -IT-#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU#made some very light changes that were bothering only me specifically. you might not notice IWDFJK
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THE BOYS ⭐⭐⭐⭐
One of them is a professional yapper
#its clear as the sky that i have a fav and the fav is hiei#yuyu hakusho#yu yu hakusho#yyh#yoshihiro togashi#digital art#ibis paint x#yusuke urameshi#yusuke yyh#team urameshi#urameshi#kuwabara#kazuma kuwabara#yyh kuwabara#yyh kurama#kurama#shuuichi minamino#shuichi minamino#hiei#yyh hiei#hiei jaganshi#hes such a fun character in a tragic way i cant really explain why hes so special#long live the short king#kurahi severe brainworms gave kurama the soft expression bare with me#anyway they re all found family and they actually care a lot about each other but at least the rest of them is not in denial#i mean hiei is not even in denial hes just stupid (got trauma but this is not a serious place to speak about it)#he looks like an onion#giving kuwabara a patch on the face is part of my design at this point#enouuuugh i shut up hope you enjoy#damn the resolution is ASS ibis paint i went trough 123 ads to save this thing and for what
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Ah fuck it- John Malevolent
#graedari doodles#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent john#john malevolent#idk how to tag him im only on episode 14#digital art#ipad#apple pen#procreate#im normal about the little creature guy#is the little creature guy also Thr Detroyer of Worlds™️?#yes but hes just a little eyeball babey#arthur lesters seeing eyedog if you will#im really enjoying the podcast so far#i will catch up on it eventually#made it through 10 episodes in 2 days do yknow#anyways hope you all see the vision#graedari loves queue
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au where SQQ does undergo the 'qi-deviation' and is 'changed' but in reality the twin of Shen Jiu, Shen Yuan made a comment one day about how all Shen Jiu did was bitch about his martial siblings. Never one to turn down a golden opportunity,
Shen Jiu: bet
And so the twins decided to switch lives!
The qi-deviation is just so they can explain away any differences of temperament and so sj can hightail away easier.
Shen Yuan: this is going to be so easy
(spoiler. it wasn't)
Between useless sect meetings that could've been not even an email but a text message, reading fifteen different preteens attempts to sneak in dick jokes into their poetry assignments, the head cook alerting him to the fact that they've somehow run out of rice??? They're the greatest cultivation sect??? How does that happen???
Anyway, two of his Hall masters eloping together and taking an extended honeymoon (he's happy for them, but. Who's going to teach those classes now??? Him. Apparently.), sect politics and his 'martial siblings' barely even attempting a farce of civility or courtesy AND his guqin strings needing to be replaced and restrung ?
Shen Yuan is sorry 🙏🙏please come back🙏🙏🙏
Cue the allotted period of switching ending and Shen Yuan dramatically throwing the fan on the ground as Shen Jiu rolls up and goes "thanks for the vacation didi"
#then it was shen yuan's turn to bitch about their martial siblings#all of cang qiong in the background:#we've been bamboozled#there are two funny thing you could do with yue qingyuan: one. he knew the whole time and totally went#“should we check for possession by making Xiao 'jiu' drawing hong jing? of course. infact. we should use ALL of the possession detecting#artifacts we have. for safety purposes.“#“sect leader why are you mailing a letter that says 'hope you're enjoying your vacation -love qi-ge'?”#or two: he's fooled as well and just thinks he's projecting his desire to see the tiny xiao yuan who he and xiao jiu lost all those years#ago again. and that the grief of loosing shen yuan is what changed shen jiu into the man that he is today#so that maybe loosing his memories. also had him loose that grief. and that maybe underneath the weighty mould of the past. shen jiu and#xiao yuan really were alike after all#svsss#svsss au#svsss parent trap au?#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#cang qiong#cang qiong mountain sect peak lords#realizing i forgot the second option was supposed to be funny#there are so many errors in my spelling and punctuation its not even funny. ignore it please i am procrastinating on stuff
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grandpop wake up! your toaster is on fire
and so there were four once more.
At last, all the gramps are awoken from their nap :D
anyone guess where the weapons in the last page are from?
previous ---- part 9 ---- next
#bad end ninja turtles#B.E.N.T#tmnt au#tmnt fanart#same as it never was#tmnt 2003#2003 raph#tw implied sibling death#really hope you all enjoy!#my god this one was a HARD ONE I think I rewrote and redrew this thrice and I am still tempted to take it down and try again-#its crazy how much my art has changed since I started this comic#cannot believe we are soon gonna see the dudes all together!!!!#(the wheel said yes btw)
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"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
#spilled ink#writeblr#slam poetry#i started this as a joke and ended up taking after#the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom#i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember#turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom''#''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :(#also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like#this is 100% about like#yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga#like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw)#also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe''#and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep.#like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like.#if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes#so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!!#i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles
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Cipher's Personal Portable Portal
'How they meet' won the poll!
So just to make things fully contextualized, as far as they're gonna be - here's the full first chunk of this stupidly long fic I'm writing.
I hope you enjoy!
Standing in the wreckage of the burnt-out building, Dipper wishes he didn’t know who did it.
Anyone else would have left some trace sign. A scrape of blood, a hint of burnt hair. A friggin’ decent eyewitness report, even.
But here, like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that - there's absolutely zero traces. No video footage, nobody around at the time of the crime. Not even footprints.
Dipper kicks one of the remaining supports, sending a puff of charcoal up from the impact.
If he knew the bastard’s name, he’d curse it all to hell.
With a sigh of exhaustion, Dipper sits on a chunk of scorched foundation. He pulls his shoe off to tip the ashes out of it; there’s enough that the resulting cloud leaves him coughing.
Around him, the scoured west wing of the museum is silent, still, and empty. A grey-black skeleton of its former self, filled with dust and charcoal.
This arson is yet another one in a very, very long line of crimes. They’re not just ‘unrelated incidents’, or ‘bizarre coincidences’. Dipper’s not ‘being paranoid’ or ‘coming up with some pretty weird conspiracy theories’.
There’s only one person who could manage this. The same guy who turned a bank upside down - literally - and the same one who impaled a mob boss on an oversized silly straw and gave tails to half of a household last week.
It’s all connected.
Each crime is marked with the same style, mostly by how remarkably weird they are. Along with a thread of magic, distinct in its composition. One so distinctive that it's almost a flavor. Though admittedly, without certain magical analysis, it’s pretty hard to detect.
And if other freelance magicians would take the time and look at Dipper’s notes, maybe one of them would help find this asshole.
Dipper stalks through the burned building, fists balled in his pockets. He stumbles over a fallen support column, and nearly trips before he makes a hopping retreat back.
Though the culprit has been at his game - whatever ‘game’ that is - for a good half a year now, this is the most destructive ‘incident’ so far. Nobody was hurt, since it happened in the middle of the night. The one relief from a terrible crime, that only objects were obliterated in the process -
But the ashes speak for themselves.
Here, there’s nothing left.
He breathes in slowly. Then regrets the attempt at calming himself as he coughs again.
Whatever the culprit’s initial motive was, it hasn’t lasted. He’s grown not only in ambition, but also in his abilities. Things are escalating at a rate Dipper doesn’t like to think about.
Someone has to get to the bottom of this. Before it’s too late. Dipper’s got his number, metaphorically speaking, so. Well, might as well be him.
And when he proves that all of this chaos was created by the same person -
Well. A little boost to his meager reputation couldn’t hurt. Maybe a few medals and accolades. There isn’t a trophy for best monster hunter, but he can imagine standing on a podium and -
Dipper waves that thought off, swearing under his breath. Stupid. He has better things to focus on.
He’s the only freelancer on the case. Definitely the only one taking this seriously, the only one who thinks it’s the same person to begin with - and even he’s starting to have some doubts about ever finding the bastard.
Six months of tracking this guy down, and what does he have to show for it? A ramshackle compilation of incidents, a vague feeling of magic, and a description that could fit any bottle-blond actor with bad fashion sense. Scraps. He might as well pin them up and connect them with red string for all the good it does him.
Another kick sends Dipper hopping back, clutching his foot with a swear. He winces at the hole in the tip, he nearly punctured his foot on a nail.
Just his luck. Wrong place, wrong time, always just barely avoiding disaster. Dipper shows up whenever there’s an event, he’s got the means to follow the guy - but he’s always just a little too late.
Even worse, lately the guy’s been picking places… not at random, exactly. More like he causes trouble wherever it’d be the most annoying to follow.
The culprit must know someone is on his trail. But he’s not making it impossible to keep up, or even majorly difficult for a determined pursuer. Just really, really irritating, like making moves at three in the morning, or pausing just long enough for someone to catch up, then heading right back where he came from. At one point Dipper had to trudge through a literal swamp, only to find that bastard had sauntered in by baking himself a neat little trail right through the damn thing. There wasn’t even footprints to follow.
It’s a repeated point in Dipper’s notes. Whoever this is, they’re a total, absolute dick.
With a sigh, Dipper runs his fingers through the ash on the museum’s floor. Not a single thing is left beyond the shattered glass of some display cases, and the charred remains of the building. Even the enchanted metal tools have been melted into slag.
The day before yesterday, he could tell something was up. Building energy, something that felt like it was made by the culprit. Something with the twinge of a powerful curse, coiled and being wound up like a spring.
Dipper spent that evening convincing - okay, maybe also bribing, thank you Stan for the idea - the museum to let him borrow materials. The day after that, he spent all night, morning, and most of the afternoon running around slapping up anti-curse emblems. The entire south of the city warded, in a fine careful net of spellcraft. The work was exhausting. Both in running around, and in the amount of magic he’d needed to use.
But it was worth it. That evening, in the quiet and very uncursed city, all the emblems activated. Dipper would have sworn he sensed someone in the distance, cursing his own name. That night he went to bed with a smug sense of satisfaction, floating on a cloud of triumph.
Which is probably why the bastard burned down the museum next.
With another sigh, Dipper tucks his notebook back into his knapsack. He’s gleaned all he’s going to for today; in the fading evening light, searching more is pointless.
So much for all the magical artifacts. Most of those had come in really useful in messing with the guy.
…How the hell did the culprit know where they came from, though? He’d need a near encyclopedic knowledge of artifacts to know which ones Dipper used, then track them back to their origin.
Or maybe he just searched on the internet. It’s hard to tell.
Dipper just wishes there were more clues. But just like every other incident, the guy up and freakin’ vanished.
No human can disappear like that without some very irresponsible use of power. That hope is one Dipper’s hanging his hat on. After six months? He has to be reaching his limits. He’ll burn himself out before he can manage too many more incidents. Maybe Dipper will find him by stumbling on his withered, dissolving corpse.
Whoever this is is pretty strong, but no power is infinite. He can’t hide forever.
It can’t be too much longer. Won’t be. Dipper has a plan, he’s gotten really close, and - He’s good at his job, damn it. He knows he is.
Taking a deep, slow breath, Dipper lets it out. Patience is the name of the game here. He’s just gotta keep moving.
One day, he’s going to catch up with that bastard. He’ll see the guy in the flesh. Then he’ll grab that stupid dick before he can escape, again, and wipe that presumably smug look off his probably ugly face.
Turning around one last time, Dipper surveys the destruction, stuffs his hands in his pockets - and pauses.
A speck of light glints in the pile of ash. The last bit of evening sun, shining off a metallic surface.
Alert with surprise, Dipper scrambles over to the pile. Kneeling down, he brushes the dust carefully aside, careful not to disturb anything fragile that might shatter if handled wrong.
One thing did survive. Thank fuck, it’s not an absolute total loss. Just, uh… Ninety-nine percent of it.
He scuffles through the still-warm ashes, cupping his palms underneath the lump and lifting it from its bed. The motion sends white puff rising up as ash slips away from the artifact.
A small black, squarish thing rests on the pile, a bit larger than both his palms put together. The material is faintly warm from residual heat, insulated by the ash it laid in - and there’s not a mark on it. Not even a scratch.
Dipper turns the artifact over in his hands with a frown. The shining black surface reveals no obvious buttons or secrets. Just a kind of phone-ish shape, though more square and squat. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say a guest dropped it on the rush to escape.
The fact that it’s still intact though. Nearly glowing with magic, a tremulous feeling under his palms - this is not dropped by some clumsy tourist. Not even Ford could put this together.
Wiping at the object with his sleeve, Dipper manages to clean off most of the smooth surface. On one of the sides, dust clings to the thinnest of engravings. The very faint outline of an equilateral triangle. No runes or other magical scribing, just… a shape.
Dipper thinks back but - no, he doesn’t remember seeing this in the collection. A quick check online reveals…
Basically nothing. There are - were - a bunch of stone and metal slabs in the archives, all described so poorly as to be useless. Some are even bunched up in groups. ‘Magical slab 1-24’ and ‘Metal artifact 1-78’, no description involved.
Not surprising. Probably dug up in some mass excavation site, transported here, then never really looked at again. The bulk nature of the shipment means it was overlooked, its magical properties never discovered.
After today, he’s just glad that even one item escaped this onslaught.
The other artifacts must not have had much to them. But some magical property in this artifact’s making must have saved it from the blaze. Fireproofing, perhaps? Against weird fire? That’s unusual. Maybe even unique.
As the only survivor, it really needs investigating.
Dipper glances over his shoulder, then around. With everyone evacuated, it’s quiet in the rubble. Nobody here would notice if, say… a clue wandered off.
The artifact slips easily into his pocket. The shape conveniently looks just like a phone, even if the shape’s a bit off. Not something that would attract any attention.
Whistling nonchalantly, ducking out of the way of local law enforcement and any onlookers - Dipper makes his escape.
Another day of pursuit. Another scene of disaster, the culprit there and gone in the blink of an eye.
He’ll be up to something new, next. Never the same thing twice, never in the same place.
Dipper will follow in his evil tracks, of course. But for tonight - his fate is another crappy hotel room.
He ditches his backpack by the door, slumping against the wall and its chipped paint. He could start going through his notes, and the pictures of the arson. Put in more work, find further connections -
But it’s been a long day, and he’s tired. He might be magical, but he’s only got so much to work with. A reasonable night’s sleep, if he can manage, will make the task loom less horribly over his tired brain.
With a sigh, he drops back on the mattress. There’s some bounce to it, springs squeaking like they’re full of mice. Hell, maybe they are. The type of room he can afford isn’t exactly decadent.
That, though, should be temporary. Dipper’s career is only just starting; freelancers in the ‘solving magical problems’ scene don’t get great rates. Especially as a beginner. Definitely without a partner; it makes him look super young. Like he’s just starting out, fresh-faced and not having any inroads.
Because this field is really stupid, and doesn’t pay attention to results. Dipper’s been fine on his own for years, and he’s done really cool things without that ‘networking’ crap.
All by himself. Totally cool with that, because Dipper’s a cool guy, sometimes. If Mabel hypes him up enough on one of their phone calls, he almost believes it too.
Though it would be nice to have some backup, it’s hard to find someone who really gets the job. Or does it in the way that Dipper goes about it. The number of people who are willing to take long treks in hyper-magical territory to search for an obscure clue, or set up really complicated traps for dangerous monsters, or talk over high-level magical theory while sitting in the rain all night just to get one body-snatcher are…
Well, besides Ford, who recently retired, there aren’t any. Only Dipper himself.
One day, things are going to change for him. All his effort will pay off. If he keeps solving mysteries, and fighting monsters, he’ll forge a reputation as someone who always gets the job done. No matter how hard it is, he can handle it. The work is picking up, too. The last six months have shown the biggest series of magical incidents in decades.
And he’s gonna be the one to get to the bottom of it.
Dipper Pines, the guy who proved it’s all connected. He’ll have it laid out in facts and math, all the evidence. They’re all gonna see that he was totally right.
Once he finally gets this guy, everything’s going to start looking up.
The sheets rustle as Dipper settles back, holding the artifact up over himself. He stares into the black surface, and a slightly distorted reflection narrows its eyes back at him.
A good mystery always intrigues him. This one should take his mind off the other, irritating one for a while.
The only remaining object from the fire is clean and smooth. A mysterious creation, of unknown purpose. Clearly riddled with magic, too; Dipper feels it running just under the surface like a rapid current. It gives the artifact a weight that has nothing to do with mass.
Power.
Did the criminal see this artifact, still intact after all the other magical objects were gone? Did he try to destroy it too, and fail? Or simply not notice he’d missed one out of thousands?
Whatever it is, it’s got a lot more going on than meets the eye.
Dipper casts a quick identifier, which comes back with nothing. He’s not surprised. That’s the first thing anyone would try. If it was that simple, he’d already have the full description off the site.
With a shrug, he traces another set of runes, his own version, adding a little more oomph behind it -
And the magic leaps back instantly, with the bizarre sensation of a bouncy ball hitting concrete.
“Huh,” Dipper says, thoughtfully. He sits up, hunching over the slab in his hands. “Now that’s new.”
A more subtle approach, then. Tracing the lines of energy with the barest brush of magic upon magic reveals something deeply complex. Thin layers twist together deep under the surface, building an entire circulatory system. Dipper has to put it down for a moment, suddenly worried that it is organic.
When a cautious prod doesn’t get a response, he relaxes. Not fleshy, just complicated. Which also proves he was right earlier - the artifact’s just as powerful as he’d thought. The spellcraft is unlike anything he’s ever seen.
Dipper rubs his hands together, starting to smile.
Even if he doesn’t find the guy he’s after, figuring this out could be a heck of a win.
Several attempts later, he’s beginning to get why this bastard brick got tossed in with all the other junk.
Nothing here is working. It simply deflects. Standard spells poing off of it like rubber, while giving his magical senses an odd, back-of-the brain afterimage of a circle with a slash through it; a firm ‘nah’.
Dipper nearly chucks the thing across the room in frustration, before shutting his eyes and taking several, calming breaths.
Okay, weird thing, weird enchantment. The ordinary stuff won’t work. The magical logic is… twisted in a way that leaves it incompatible with most everything. He’ll have to find a different approach.
“What are you?” Dipper says, low and frustrated. He gives the artifact a shake, as if he can knock the secrets out like a rock from a shoe. “What secrets are you hiding in there?”
No response, not that he expected one. With a wry smile, he taps the sleek surface with a finger, twice. “C’mon, man. Talk to me.”
Huge yellow letters flash onto the black surface.
HEY
Dipper throws the artifact, a bit awkwardly since he’s lying on his back. It sails in the air in a high thin arc, landing with a thump between his legs. He scoots rapidly backward, sheets pulling up behind him.
The artifact lies where it landed, an unmoving brick. There’s magic in the air now, but no sense of any spell building, ready to unleash power to blow his face off. The latent spellcraft of the artifact has just been activated.
More text displays on the surface, bare except for the glowing letters.
To the jerk that’s swiped my private stuff: You got some nerve! I expect this back by interdimensional mail in a week, or trust me - there will be consequences.
Dipper waits a full minute before he lets go of the headboard. Tentatively, he kneels near the…
Is this a phone?
Clearly it’s a communication device of some sort, with the freaking text messages. A phone is the obvious equivalent, only - he thought it looked far older than that, something way before mobile phones. Possible ancient. Is that a coincidence, maybe, or is it secretly modern?
Dipper taps the ‘screen’, just below the glowing words. To his surprise, there’s actually a keyboard, what the hell. This thing keeps getting weirder.
Since it hasn’t already thrown a horrible curse at him, or burst into flames - it’s reasonably safe to assume that it’s simply ‘on’. Not ‘explosive’.
With hands that are definitely not shaking, he picks it up, and types,
Who is this?
His own text pops up in blue. A strange contrast to the yellow, but he’s guessing it’s for convenience - there’s no bubbles to tell who’s said what otherwise.
A few seconds of nervous waiting later, there’s a response.
Oh hey, you answered! Well, human - You’re talking to the one and only Bill Cipher, Dream Demon, all-powerful master of the Mindscape! I’d say it’s nice to meet ya but you’re not supposed to have a direct line to me!
Dipper raises an eyebrow.
Now that’s one hell of an introduction. It might even have been interesting, if it didn’t smell of complete bullshit.
Complicated spellwork, sure. Incomprehensible architecture? Maybe. Dipper can admit it; he’s never seen anything with a web of spells on it this complex, in such small of a package.
But the idea that Dipper just stumbled onto a demonic artifact of all things. One that wasn’t instantly detected, recorded, then ritually destroyed is…
Someone’s fucking with him.
Dipper rolls his eyes as he types back,
Really? Demon? You can’t expect me to believe that.
What, you calling me a liar? ‘Cause I am, but not about this! I got better things to mislead mortals about. This is my property, not something for your grubby mortal mitts.
Dipper snorts. Guess this person’s sticking with the bit. Obviously whoever created this would want it back - but too bad. Whether they’re delusional, stupid, or just a flat-out liar, they’re really good at enchanting. It’d be a waste not to study their work.
He lies back on the bed as he replies.
Sure, have fun roleplaying, or whatever, it doesn’t make a difference. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
ARE YOU CALLING ME A LOSER. MORTAL.
Hmm, I’m detecting a certain amount of ‘crying about it’, so. Yeah. Suck it, loser.
Smirking, Dipper settles back - then his half-smile drops, as he holds the ‘phone’ a little further away from himself.
Though the blue fire building up in the screen looks like a bad sticker effect, the artifact’s also getting a alarmingly warm. It vibrates in his hands - then suddenly stops, cooling down.
Ha! Alright, alright, I admit - you got some balls.
Maybe you’ll change your tune once you REALLY know what you’re dealing with! Might wanna check the connection, if you’re even capable of it! Mortal magic doesn’t reach across dimensions!
With a grimace, Dipper taps his fingers on the phone. It’s slightly cooler now, but still worryingly reactive to… whatever happened on the other end.
Damn. Whoever this is, they’re not only really really good at enchanting, they’re also pretty confident that tracking them down won’t spoil their game. The confidence exuding from this ‘Bill’s’ words feels genuine.
Honestly, though, the suggestion is a good one. Dipper should have tried to trace the call the second he knew someone else was on the line.
Maybe ‘Bill’ thinks he won’t manage to find him. Joke’s on him, though; Dipper’s amazing at finding stuff. He’s the best tracker of magical anything in years. Maybe decades. With a solid, stable connection right in front of him? Hell, he could do this one in his sleep.
Time to call the bluff.
He casts the tracing spell, though it takes longer than usual. A few gestures and muttered ritual aren’t gonna cut it; he has to improvise around the strange construction of the enchantment. Even trailing along the magic seems harder than usual, like it resists mixing with his own, and it takes him a few attempts to match the signal.
Once he finds the right way to tune it… the lead snaps along the already-existing connection, and zips away to find its source.
The line extends out from the shabby hotel room, a plucked string in Dipper’s senses. It twists around the phone, rising slowly. Invisibly passing through the walls and the -
Ceiling? Dipper looks up on instinct, even though nothing is visible.
From there it swirls around in the air like a silly straw on steroids, and then - out, very far, in a way that isn’t up or down or left or right, just
Away.
Dipper has to cut off the tracing spell before vertigo has him reeling. The swirling sense of standing on top of a skyscraper is followed by a flip in his stomach. That he’s using a device he barely understands that reaches out into something even more incomprehensible.
He drops the phone-artifact, trying to clear his head by shaking it rapidly.
That’s not nearby. Not on this planet. Possibly, genuinely, not even in this dimension.
Shit. Bill wasn’t bluffing.
Dipper wipes sweating palms on the sheets. To pick up the phone again takes an effort, willing himself to grasp it in unsteady hands.
A demon.
All the monsters he’s fought, curses he’s broken, years of work tucked into his belt, and he’s never seen one of those.
Demons are dangerous, evil, and very, very powerful. Consorting with them is by all accounts a terrible idea. He should never have picked this up. He should hang up, and throw the damn artifact out the window, hoping that nobody else makes as dumb a mistake as he just did.
On the screen, there’s a long long scroll of yellow letters, filling the entire surface. ‘HA HA HA HA’ over and over and over again.
Before he can think better of it, Dipper starts a response. He’s halfway through a sentence - what the fuck, that’s not funny- before he pauses.
Terrible evil monster. Stupid powerful. Probably Bill sensed the tracing of the connection, like he did with Dipper’s other testing. Bill wanted the result startle him. Because he thinks it’s funny.
Dipper grits his teeth, and glares at the screen.
Actually, screw this guy. Dipper’s keeping the stupid phone. If for no other reason than spite. This ‘Bill’ guy seems pretty full of himself, like he’s totally above some human. He’s in for a bad time, then, because Dipper’s not going to let one little surprise scare him off.
Besides. The average guy would get into horrible, even deadly trouble, whereas Dipper… sort of knows what he’s doing. No, he is good at his job. Finding secrets, solving mysteries, thwarting evil jerks who think they’re oh-so-hilarious, the whole shebang. He does it all.
Taking another breath, hissing through clenched teeth - Dipper lets it out. Losing his temper isn’t going to help deal with an extradimensional being. He has to be careful.
He thinks for a long moment before he responds.
Okay. Let’s say I believe you. Maybe. Then you should know I didn’t steal your… whatever this is. I found it lying around, and I just. Got kind of curious.
HA HA HA! Of course you were! Careful with that impulse, kid, it kills more than just cats!
A jerk who definitely thinks he’s hilarious. Dipper rolls his eyes, then, rather pettily, decides to ignore that statement.
More pressing questions take the lead. Like what the fuck he’s holding right now, and if there are any other nasty tricks in store. A little bit of him, bubbling under the surface, wonders what being a demon is like. What they get up to, common habits. Ways they could be tracked down and, y’know, defeated, maybe.
Theoretically, he’s got a line to a bunch of innocent, totally not-thwarting-related information that could be super useful to someone trying to, maybe, be a super cool monster-fighter.
Dipper backspaces a bunch over some poorly thought out questions. First things first. Like what the hell he’s holding right now.
So. What is this?
Good question! The gadget you’re poking at with your sweaty meat-paws is paired to the one I have here at my place. A little one-on-one communication assistant, if you will. Once you started groping around with your magic, it wasn’t hard to tell someone had picked it up!
Dipper raises an eyebrow. Though he already has an idea… a little confirmation never hurts.
Like, you got a notification? Or literally felt?
The latter! Kinda like smell, but by touching things with your eyeballs. And with all your prodding around you might as well have been stinking up the place! Your spells aren’t real subtle!
Hey, they’re subtle! Having weird extra senses is just cheating.
Sucks to be human, then! In that you suck at everything! What’s a LOSER like you gonna do about it?
Dipper nearly throws the stupid artifact again - but he holds back, gripping it tight. Instead he sits up, leaning down and hauling his backpack up from the side of the bed.
Maybe Bill thinks he can’t do anything. That he’s some ignorant nobody, who doesn’t have any real skills or talent or doesn’t have any friends - but he’s got that wrong. Dipper’s not a loser. Bill’s not getting away with that bullshit.
One quick unzip and a bit of rifling around later, he finds what he was looking for. Carefully, Dipper bounces the heft of a flashlight battery in his hand. Shutting his eyes, he focuses on crafting a quick working.
Magic is all about energy, and its direction. Focusing power, conveying it from one place to another. Pushing anything across dimensions would take impossible amounts of energy, stuff Dipper doesn’t have. If it weren’t for a very convenient connection, already in his hand.
Dipper has nothing on hand to actually exorcise the guy - he’s not sure that’s even possible when Bill’s where he should be - but retribution is in order.
More text lines appear on the artifact. He ignores them. Changing this up to work with the demon device is a challenge, but after figuring out how to alter the tracking spell changing this one up isn’t hard. He adjusts the flow of magic this way, into the tangle of not-veins in the device that way, finishes the chant-
Then touches his tongue to the battery.
The jolt passes through him painlessly, following the spell. It zips along his nerves, down into his hand and from there - into the artifact itself.
Where it should, theoretically end up right at that bastard.
Dipper tosses the battery back into his backpack. Picking up the ‘phone’, hunching over to stare at the screen.
That worked. He felt the energy move… unless he got the math wrong. Or a detail of his spell. Or maybe demons are immune to electricity, and he just did something totally pointless.
God. It might even prove Bill right, and wouldn’t that be the worst -
The next line of text comes in.
What the hell? A joy buzzer? That’s some real petty prank stuff! You seriously pulled that bullshit? And across dimensions?
A tense pause. Dipper taps the phone, checking for it heating up again - but another line pops up after a few seconds.
Y’know what, kid? I think I might actually like you! You’re FEISTY.
Dipper nearly does a double-take.
But no, that - what? Aren’t demons supposed to be vengeful? He was half-sure he’d have to chuck the phone out the window before it exploded in his hands.
In fact, you’re in luck! ‘Cause I’m pretty bored, and I can totally show you how to improve that jinx of yours! If you can keep up with a little theory, that is.
Because that’s not suspicious or anything. Conversation with a demon can only lead to ruin and disaster. He should absolutely, definitely stop this right in its tracks.
Still, Dipper shrugs, and types,
Try me.
#billdip#I should probably make a tag for this 'series'#Let's say the tag will be#Portal AU#I say series but my plan is to complete it then post it in One Big Post on AO3 eventually#I just wanted you all to know I really am working on stuff and I hope you enjoy these two idiots#This is ~5k of the now 21k document I have going#Truly I am caught in a trap of my own making#Suffering is writing and writing is suffering#I also realized while putting this on Tumblr that I can totally change text colors!#I might apply that formatting trick later if I can find a shade of yellow that isn't totally obnoxious to actually read#Little nervous about this since it's not Familiar AU but they needed not to know each other for the Premise to work#I'm excited to get to later stuff because I can make SO many dumb jokes
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