#I really got carried away here

[cripplingoptimism]

Distractions [3/3]

Gonna wrap this up in 3 parts. Previous here.

Yo, WHAT was happening on Twitter this week?? Every time I opened the app there was a new analysis of the Goddamn couch scene. I didn't think Trigun could hurt me any more and yet here I am in a new spiral over an internet stranger's hot take.

Anywaaaaay, I've had this brainworm way before whatever angst got a hold of Twitter. I've always interpreted Vash and Wolfwood’s relationship as 'right people, wrong time'. But honestly, I love every interpretation of them - platonic, soulmates, lovers, etc. So, through these comics I wanted to show moments during their journey that conveyed the gradual evolution of their relationship (as I head cannon it lmao). Canonically, Vash never gets to tell Wolfwood how he feels and my poor little heart has been in denial about that ever since. So this is my *slight* rewriting of the series of events leading up to Wolfwood's solo journey.

At this point in the manga (ch. 50) I wanted to show that, despite the 7 month time skip, it's like no time has passed between them. They're still comfortable and casual with each other, still seeking the comfort of distractions - Neither of them wanting to shatter the illusion of normalcy in this moment. And I feel Vash would be the first to ask for more when reality comes knocking (through Wolfwood's fist lol).

He knows, even in a best-case scenario, his time with Wolfwood is limited. And while Vash is just as shackled by duty and guilt as Wolfwood, he carries an optimism about him that Wolfwood lacks. He needs Woolfwood to know how he feels so he can live without regret, regardless of the outcome. As such, he takes the leap. Wolfwood, unfortunately, cannot bring himself to share in that optimism. He’s too absorbed in worry about the orphanage, the children and especially Livio. His heart is screaming at him, but he knows he can’t afford to be distracted by his “selfish” desires. So, he rejects Vash by being realistic and hopes he can see that he wants this too, but just can't bear the impending heartbreak due to their circumstances. Vash does see this. He swallows his disappointment and heartbreak, earnestly grateful for the relationship he still has with Wolfwood.

I know my characterization feels like it conflicts with the moment on the couch; Vash can't even look at Wolfwood for that entire scene despite Wolfwood being the one to try and connect with him ("You look better...when you smile."). However, I never saw that moment as Vash rejecting Wolfwood. Not in the traditional sense at least (maybe an inadvertent rejection). Vash wanted more between them (to share his tomorrows), but not like this - not as a deathbed confession. He's heartbroken and grieving and (somewhat selfishly) can't see that Wolfwood just wants to enjoy his last moments with the one person on this planet he can call an equal and a friend.

Speaking of the dreaded couch scene, I don't think I can add anything new to the discourse, but I will say the tragedy for me really lies in all the emotions Wolfwood goes through:

Being at peace with his death ("This is the way you want it?" "Yeah."). It's what he believed he deserved, with all the blood on his hands, and the mutation of his body, he assumed he could never return to his previous life with everyone at the orphanage.

Grieving for his future (confetti). Wolfwood never believed he could be forgiven. The children celebrating his return showed their acceptance of him, welcoming him back regardless of his sins. He was worthy of forgiveness. His guilt prevented him from even entertaining the thought of forgiving himself. There must have been regret in those tears.

Seeking comfort from the one person he grew to truly trust and Vash not being strong enough to give it. I already mentioned this above, but Vash not even being able to look at Wolfwood throughout the entire couch scene tears me up.

From the narrative's perspective, Wolfwood needed to die. And even knowing that, it still absolutely destroyed me (and still does). Not just because he died, but because right before his death, he was given a glimmer of hope - that had he survived the fight with Livio, he would have had a chance at happiness.

Last side note here: I've seen discourse online explaining the entire scene is a metaphor for a wedding and I just wanna say, you'll be hearing from my therapist.

[gen-toon]

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

calm down heart, stop racing! - kim seokjin (cr.)

[thedaythatwas]

on nagito komaeda and love

I just think it’s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this: 

komaeda’s narrative so heavily centers love. and I don’t just say this because I’ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you don’t care about komahina, it’s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaeda’s character development.

tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as “a thing” in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and I’ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!

Part 1: Komaeda’s Love Life (or, his life without love)

I think it’s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaeda’s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but I’ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. he’s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag he’s thrown out in. he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hope’s peak.

in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only “takes action” against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, let’s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connections… well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didn’t really have anybody in his life. 

either komaeda didn’t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.

so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? I’ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon – the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaeda’s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.

his self-loathing

komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a “stepping stone” for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as “absolute good.” the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and it’s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly to…

his hope-seeking

komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaeda’s reasoning a bit more: komaeda’s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; it’s his dream come true.

and it’s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, it’s a coping mechanism! komaeda’s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason he’s managed to stay alive. I’ll say it again because I really can���t emphasize it enough – komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!

learned helplessness / his existence as a threat

komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end – isn’t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, he’s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaeda’s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isn’t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle is… well, again, he’s coping. 

if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldn’t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!

but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? I’ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that he’s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and it’s left him with nothing but money that he doesn’t want. he’s certain he’s a curse, and there’s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, he’ll keep on losing – murdering – everything he loves. 

in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?

tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict. 

Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata

we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. that’s really, really loud.

I’ll preface this part by saying that you don’t need to actively ship komahina to understand what I’m trying to get at here. this said, I’ll be recapping an argument you’ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely “a thing” – at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, I’ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, you’re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.

komaeda’s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling. 

(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, let’s assume this is true! there’s good proof for it, anyway.)

if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, it’s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.

he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close – when his life story is finally told – and he does what he’s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.

(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fire… very interesting.)

now, let’s say you don’t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaeda’s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:

komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. he’s read his final dead room prize – not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them. 

hinata has continually sought out komaeda’s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he can’t help but let hinata try to know him. 

isn’t he awful? to want what he knows he can’t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? he’s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing he’s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope. 

and yet, it’s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that he’s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times it’s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who can’t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse. 

but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaeda’s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaeda’s front. we see that komaeda’s worldview is less stable than he presents it as – hinata is where komaeda’s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy who’s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isn’t it?

Part 3: The Future He Chooses

so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how he’d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether it’s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. it’s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. it’s the reason he’s lived the way that he has for so long – lonely, and afraid of being anything but.

getting into a relationship wouldn’t solve komaeda’s problems for him, and that’s a good thing. it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!

hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview that’s long since stopped serving him. I don’t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like. 

(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but that’s neither here nor there!)

a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of “hope” for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that he’s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.

after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isn’t… y'all like angst fics, right?)

(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)

[hey-im-zeesha]

Like Old Times

The longer I played, the stronger was the feeling that Jesse just got tired of everything. She seemed much happier when she didn't have this burden of being the Big Hero and the Protector of her city and was just "a strange girl with a pig". At least in my playthrough. The sheer amount of traumatic events throughout both seasons probably contributed to that.

For me, the ending where she stays in Beacontown is the best, even if it isn't as happy as the other one. First, I love bitter sweet endings. Second, the main idea of the season is how we should move forward and stop clinging onto the past. We let Petra go. We give her the opportunity to process her own feelings and attachments to the things she loves and used to. So we do with Jesse.

By staying in the city she did so much for, Jesse takes the responsibility at the cost of all the fun she used to have with her friends. It always felt like all she really wanted was to be recognised and have cool adventures, not all the complicated stuff that came with being the one who saved a lot of people multiple times. And now, with that being all she has, it would be natural to want to go back to how things used to be. When life was easier and she always had someone by her side, without the need to constantly choose between someone.

Honestly, I was never really fond of Reuben, but the idea of him being sort of the embodiment of how Jesse used to live before the whole Wither Storm thing made me like him more. Because the moment he dies, things get to the point of no return. So it literally will never be like good old times since the key part of it is no longer here.

Thank you for coming to my overanalysis session!

[thankstothe]

Some notes on Wilson's marriages/divorces, and how he met House:

• House didn't just meet a freshly divorced Wilson. He met barely married Wilson, who just got notified about his #1 divorce by a lawyer, not his wife

• Wilson walked around with papers on hand, long enough to give House a chance to sneak a peek. The same day he received the news. (there's a chance it was some sort of middle step in the divorce procedure, but "just served", checkmate your honor)

• House 100% knew that when he bailed him out. No, I don't have any concrete evidence besides "it's fucking House"

• House had Wilson observed the entire time to know he didn't open the papers. The divorce lawyer prob gave him an idea of what it is, and he was just marinating in the suffering juice

• House had to be nosy and stealthy when he checked the package Wilson clung to, he saw what's written on it

• They didn't actually talk at the conference itself, so House did it silently too

• There was a law firm address on the papers, and you couldn't just google shit then. House's had to remember it to investigate it further, or he already knew of the firm (or it said "BLAH LAW FIRM BLAH HERE'S YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS, LOSER", which is possible)

• Wilson likely opened them in a hotel room (or he looked at the package sadly/angrily there too), needed a drink, and House was at the bar

• House was watching Wilson at that conference, then at the bar, then meltdown over the song, then the whole fight and the mess, then the detention, and was like yeah I'll bail that

• "First words you ever said to me." This is when they first talked, Wilson was in jail and the one in need

• Ok alright, hear me out, if House didn't know what the papers were at the time of bailing. There are 2 paths for him to find out

• Wilson STILL had them on hand in jail

• Or Housey saw them at Wilson's hotel room. Yeah

• It's been over the decade since they've met and they both vividly remember the details of that drunk night (I get why for storytelling purposes. Still... Much to think about)

• That conference is either the last one, or one of the lasts, House attended. And that one was already boring to House without Wilson. 15 years prior to s06e06 "Known Unknowns", can't do the timeline magic I just eyeball it

• House also introduced Wilson to Cuddy pretty soon, since she was a witness to the levels of despair he was apparently in

• House might've pestered Cuddy to hire him, or she chose to do so herself (whenever she was dean). Maybe House chased away some poor oncologist to make an opening. Even if House isn't as obsessed with Wilson at the start of season 1, he's always plotting

• There's the brother thing too. Wilson still fresh out of med school, still divorcing, still guilty af and looking for the brother in Princeton, so he was happy to work there

• Prior to that, Wilson was working 2 jobs to support himself and Sam and was ready to follow her to Baltimore

• The divorce and meeting House happened in 1991, the same year USSR completely fell apart. Just thought I'll throw that in #educational

• Wilson was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total

• Marriage #1 has only lasted 1 year

• That means every marriage House was present for has lasted longer #math

• Wilson found a way to get fulfilled while in the marriage

• Now he's got a needy bitch with infinite problems and who will slurp any poison he has to siphon

• I'd argue House is what made Wilson bearable at home

• At the same time, House is what kept Wilson away from home, ultimately contributing to the divorce

• Wilson himself describes his marriages as crappy - he doesn't really need help destroying them. House still helps~✨

• Timeline gets wonky, but there couldn't have been much of a downtime between marriages, a couple of years max

• "Fell in love at the wedding" - whatever the fuck that means for Wilson

• Either Wilson met Sam through that wedding, and she also aimed to work in medicine - how they've connected. Or they went there as a couple, both being med students? Got high on emotions and jumped into marriage

• Wilson speedruns relationships once he's in them, so it could've gone "hey that was a nice wedding, how about we have our own?"

• He fucking sucks at proposals, his looks and general air of niceness carried him all 3 times, I will not be hearing any objections on the matter

• When Wilson talks to Cameron about cheating. He says, "I have (cheated). I always told them"

• "Them"

• It's could've been every marriage (#1, #2 and #3). If boy managed to sneak in cheating in his 1-year lightning marriage #1, while he was studying + 2 jobs (now I don't doubt his time management skills, but it's still a hassle. On the other hand, all that stress couldn't have been helping)

• Or it could be #1 and #2, or #1 and #3. But #3 is pretty much a certainty (he flirts with nurses on screen, House is also there), and it's "them", so why would he randomly stop in the middle? Don't think so

• What's most likely is - #2 and #3. When arguing with Sam (#1) again she didn't mention or allude to the cheating, her problem was that Wilson didn't communicate ANY emotions to her, she even admitted to House she made the most mistakes in that marriage, let's say there's some truth in that

• Wilson either didn't tell Sam about cheating, she didn't have a problem with it, or he lied to Cameron

• OR he didn't cheat on Sam

• He started to cheat after the first divorce AND his marriages started to last longer, which is funnier too

• He could've started cheating prior to House entering the picture, but much more likely - after. Divorce and/or House are the cause

• Speaking of. Meeting House is very tightly linked to the #1 divorce. Every time Wilson would think back on it, he would have to think about all the turmoil and getting bailed by House. And vice versa - every time he'd think back on meeting House...

• "I met someone who made me feel funny. And I didn't want to let that feeling go." Another Cameron talk. Ur honor, there's something on that wall

• btw, he is STILL married while meeting House, so if you hilson 1st-night-fuck truther, that meeting is his cheater origin story in a more practical sense. He then could've really meant all the marriages, but then he lied about telling Sam/Cameron, he might not count it since he's divorcing to tell Sam

• Ultimately, he's a huge liar, and I'm wasting my time. What I'm saying - nothing is really off the table with this guy in terms of hcs

• Aftermaths of #2 and #3 aren't really talked about like #1. It must've been really nuclear

• House says neither of them recovered from (#1) divorce to Wilson's face, Wilson doesn't contest that in any way. Even tho House didn't know Wilson before the divorce he usually right on the money with these things

• After the divorce #2 Wilson got 3 legged cat

• After failing to secure marriage #4 (#1 part 2) he got a diabetic cat

• Just like the thing he has with missing phone calls, after every divorce, consciously or not, he might expect a savior to bail him out

• After and during #3 he crashed at House's, then surfed hotels, then moved in with a dying patient, then Amber's, then House moved in with him (still Amber's)

• Maybe his wives kept taking properties in the divorce, and he just stopped getting them

• Man frankly didn't have a home for a while (HOMELESS BUT NOT HOUSELESS)

• Then Wilson finally commits and gets the place for himself and House, from Bonnie (#2)

• Wilson adamantly remains on good terms with his ex-wives (but not random exes. One helps House with a prank, House kept tabs bc of course)

• But Wilson thinks they hate him. Did he ever pay attention to them?

• While spending all the time with House, then cheating, telling his wives about it, Wilson gave them more attention and emotions to delay the divorce

• He also learned how not to get attached in marriage, to not get destroyed by the divorce (excellent gambit if you expect your marriage to fail)

• He has a better support system now too. Can't believe House is your support system, fucking lmao and ouch. Cuddy is his only other friend we see, maybe Stacy at some point (he kept in touch with after the incident)

• All his other friends and family we hear next to nothing about, at best they're surface level

• In season 5 he's only visited by the coworkers/House's team + Cuddy <- all that is pretty much House's tolerance circle

• House is pathetic, but Wilson is something else entirely

[21fallouts-atmychemicaldisco]

Your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears, rather ones that just don't care.

[clottedscream]

“it’s just a warmup sketch,” i say to myself. “i’m just gonna warm up on shading and coloring. i’m just warming up on anatomy.” my spine crackles from sitting in shrimp stance for 2 hours. “just to warm up.”

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[skrunksthatwunk]

KUWAMESHI SKETCH DUMP KUWAMESHI SKETCH DUMP in which they are little shits who cannot stop messing with each other

also obv zoom in to see everything bc this shit is CRAMPED. but it's all neat i prommy

[madbard]

Putting this in your askbox cuz I know you're also an Epic the Musical fan but yknow I think if Loop saw that musical they'd get very emotional about Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, just in the context of thinking of their old party... :'>

Oh, a thousand times, yes.

I’ve been thinking about Epic and ISAT a lot recently, and honestly I think the entire musical would be such an intense experience for the entire party, but especially Siffrin and Loop. After all, Epic is, at its core, the story of someone who loses himself while desperately trying to return home.

(I know you were talking about ‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ specifically, but this is about to get really out of hand. Also, I’m going to frame Epic as a musical that Loop, Siffrin and the post-canon party (likely sans Bonnie considering some of the subject material) are watching.)

Starting off with the Troy Saga, we have some striking similarities between Odysseus and Loop and Sif already - we know he’s been away from his home island for years, and so badly wants to see his family again. The homesickness here would resonate with them, I think, but the situation is also very different since Odysseus has such strong memories of his home and his family, and his home still very much exists. So that creates a little bit of distance as they are watching. ‘Open Arms’ would probably hit pretty hard though - I could see Polites’ encouragements reminding them of the party trying to help them after the loops. (Note for ‘Warrior of the Mind’ - I think this song would start some of the party off on the wrong foot with Athena. I think Mirabelle and Isabeau at least would be put off by the line “I see you changing from how I’ve designed you” as a bad thing. Here we have this character trying to change for the better, and another character is telling him that that’s a bad thing and he should stay the same? Yeah, they might not be the biggest Athena fans at this point.)

But then… oh, the Cyclops Saga is going to be uh… interesting. I wonder when any members of the party might have encountered a giant… led a fight against said giant… tried to barter with the giant to find a nonviolent solution for everyone… thought for a moment that they had succeeded… realized they had failed in a terrifying moment when they were told they would be the final one to die… witnessed helplessly as that giant brutally crushed one of the people they love most in the world as that person called out their name in agony… (The first time I listened to Epic after finishing Act 3 I had to pause it for a minute because I kept visualizing Bonnie during ‘Survive’ and it was doing psychic damage.) As much as I like to imagine the party watching Epic, I can’t imagine Siffrin watching that scene without having a panic attack. After that I doubt they are finishing the musical. (Now, we do have a fair bit to go and fascinating songs to think about so for the sake of this post maybe they were somehow all distracted during that scene? I don’t know, for whatever reason they keep watching.) If the party didn’t like Athena before, they definitely don’t like her after she abandons Odysseus - though I could see Odile giving her a little more grace in that regard, as she might see a bit of herself in Athena’s intelligence, the age difference between her and Odysseus and her clear difficulties with friendship and emotions.

The Ocean Saga is called than the Cyclops Saga. I could see Siffrin and Loop exchanging some looks at the “you rely on wit and people die on it” line but while there are some parallels between that song and their own discussion post Act 3, the similarities are ultimately far outweighed by the differences. Then we have the ultimate paranoia/insomnia/exhaustion/homesickness anthem in ‘Keep Your Friends Close,’ which I could see Siffrin and Loop getting pretty invested in.

As much as I love the Circe Saga, I’m not sure the party is getting much from it aside from enjoying the story and music.

Then we have the Underworld Saga and STARS. Loop is NOT going to be handling this well. ‘The Underworld’ is an absolute nightmare - gotta love being haunted by the screams of your friends that you couldn’t protect, tee-hee! Odysseus’ mom dying while waiting for him to come home is also an intense scene considering how little Loop and Siffrin know about what might’ve happened to their own parents when the island disappeared, but that scene is also just generally heartbreaking. ‘No Longer You’ is where things become viscerally painful for Loop - after all, there is a reason there are at least two full length Loop-centric animatics of that song. I want to ramble about this one but… “we’ve suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells, now you tell us our effort’s for nothing” and “I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer you” speak for themselves. The universe doesn’t care how much you suffered - someone is going to get that happy ending that you fought and died and bled for, but it’s not you. Not anymore. Then we reach ‘Monster’ and Odysseus has reached a state of self-loathing and dehumanization that Siffrin and Loop are far too familiar with. The death of diplomacy in exchange for brutality matches with post-Act 3 Siffrin, but it also aligns with Loop, and their willingness to do whatever it takes to help Siffrin escape the loops, even if that means sacrificing the party. And of course the perceived loss of humanity is very applicable to Loop, always.

On to the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus’ rage in ‘Different Beast’ is his own personal Memory of Sadnesses moment. This saga is just… tough to listen to for the entire party I think. The way Odysseus and Eurylochus’ friendship falls apart - that still hurts so much every time I listen and I’m sure it would be painful for them as well. (I could probably elaborate more but this post is already far longer than I had expected and I’m starting to run out of steam so I’ll leave it here.)

The party has made it to the Wisdom Saga! Odd opinion incoming, but I think ‘Legendary’ would resonate with Isabeau a lot - a song about this young, less-than-intimidating guy who desperately wants to be bigger, braver, stronger, the kind of person that can protect the people he cares about. Also, I could see Telemachus activating some protective instincts in the party, considering how some of his eagerness and fighting attitude are mirrored in Bonnie as well. ‘Little Wolf’ and ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would cause a massive shift in Mirabelle and Isabeau’s opinion of Athena - the character who opposed change at the beginning has changed for the better! Athena’s regret in ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would also hit really close to home for Odile, I think - “maybe if I’d made a different call, maybe if I hadn’t missed it all, maybe he’d be fine” aligns so painfully well with her own guilt and regret for not being able to figure out the loops and help Siffrin sooner. I think ‘Love In Paradise’ would be a surprisingly tough listen for Loop and Siffrin. The context is so different, but this song contains lyrics like “under my spell we’re stuck in paradise, no one can come or go - not til the end of time, there is no way, you’re mine, all mine.” Calypso is so scared of being alone that she traps Odysseus on the island with her for years - meanwhile, Odysseus is slowly broken down by his grief and his desperation to go home. For Loop and Siffrin, there’s an uncomfortable understanding of both characters, I think. (The entire party loves Athena after ‘God Games,’ I don’t make the rules.)

Next up, Vengeance Saga. This is where things start to get intense. As one might guess from the fact that I made a Loop-centric lyric comic for ‘Not Sorry For Loving You,’ I think they would relate to this song on a visceral level. “Someone came by today, they said they’re taking you away, that you’re not mine to save, and sooner I won’t get to see your face” - this so perfectly fits with Loop’s realizing Siffrin won their happy ending and is going to be leaving Dormont with THEIR family. Not theirs to save. Not anymore. “I spent my whole life here, was cast away when I was young, alone for a hundred years, I had no friends but the sky and sun” - this is literally an exaggerated description of their own life, washing up on the shore of Vaugarde as a teenager, completely alone with no memory of ever having been known or loved. “So when you washed ashore, I thought for sure that you were my dream come true - I thought I knew” - Loop/Siffrin being so desperately lonely when they met the party and bonding with them so deeply and desperately, starved for love and connection to the point where they clung TOO hard, loved TOO defensively. And then we reach the final lines of the song and I honestly think the comic explains better than I could exactly how perfect those lyrics are for Loop. At the end of this song, Calypso is left sobbing on a beach, watching as Odysseus sails into a future without her in it, with people that love him, so desperately lonely and full of the knowledge that nobody will ever, ever love her again. Yeah… I think this song might mess with Loop a bit. And then, of course, we have ‘Six Hundred Strike.’ This is another song that I imagine Siffrin for - specifically Act 5 Siffrin fighting the King. “How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror - watching as they were all slain!” Honestly, this song is a big Act 5 moment for Odysseus - except that he actually defeats Poseidon. I can’t imagine that this song wouldn’t cause at least a shudder in Siffrin and Loop.

And now, finally, the Ithaca Saga. (Which is what you were actually talking about. This got extremely out of hand.) I’ve mentioned the party would feel protective of Telemachus. They are not handling ‘Hold Them Down’ well. ‘Odysseus’ is interesting to think about actually, because for whatever reason this has become such an Act 5 Isabeau loops AU song to me. I imagine that an Isabeau loops AU would involve him undergoing a change that mirrors Odysseus a lot, becoming steadily colder rather than becoming manic like Siffrin does. I think he’d cope with the loops by essentially shutting down his emotions, using his intellect to be a truly terrifying force in combat. Under it all though I think there’d still be a core protective rage - “my mercy has long since drowned” vibes. He’s going to protect his family, even if it means becoming a monster. Alright, AU talk aside, the fact that the suitors literally refer to Telemachus as “the kid” in this song (as they’re planning to maim him to control Odysseus) is going to mess with Loop and Siffrin at least a little bit. Moving onto ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder,’ for whatever reason this song makes me think of Bonnie and Nille. I actually have a half-sketched lyric comic with this song set to their reunion, but only time will tell if I ever actually get around to finishing it.

Alright. We’ve made to the song this ask was actually talking about.

‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ is a beautifully painful song to think about in connection with Loop because it is such a cruel inversion of what actually happens. Odysseus returns home, changed and certain Penelope won’t love him anymore, convinced that when she looks at him she will see a monster. But when she sees him again, she sees her husband. She sees him, she recognizes him, she tells him she still loves him, that he is still the same person, that she will fall in love with him over and over. She tells him everything Loop wishes they could hear from their own party. In reality, the party didn’t recognize Loop, because they aren’t the same person anymore. In canon, Loop never gets the confirmation that the party loves them still. They know the party is grateful, but that’s only because they were able to help them find Siffrin. Siffrin thought the party loved him after he helped each of them during the friend quests, and it’s only after Act 5 that they realize that the party loved them already, and will continue to love them even if they mess up. Loop never gets that confirmation. As they fade back into the Universe, they do so knowing the party will not grieve them.

Part of my love for post-canon Loop content stems from my desire to see Loop asking, in their own way, without even realizing it, if the party would fall in love with them again.

The answer is yes. No matter how long it’s been, and how much Loop has changed, I believe that the answer is yes.

[buwheal]

I wanna give him a blanket. Can it maybe just materialize outta nowhere?

(I know fabric wrinkles suck to draw. You don't gotta 😵)

[snailfen]

2 of my mutuals did this so I wanted to finally give this a shot... since there was a lot of options on this tier list my initial threshold for having a ship on here was I had to have consistently seen it but uh. I got distracted. anyways today I learned that trophy ships are fucking hilarious to me

[support-ponies]

Hiiii! I love this blog sm it makes me so happy!

I wanted to request a trans pride sunburst? He’s my comfort character, I project onto him a lot and he feels so trans coded imo. It would mean a lot to me :D

Thank you so so much if you get around to this!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[mythtiide]

guysss stop staring lovingly into eachothers eyes we have a facility to run omg guyssssssssssss

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

bat