#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[arcaneranger]

Final Thoughts - 2019 Long Shows

Dear Lord. This is where all the good shows went.

2019 was absolutely awful on a season-by-season basis (except for Summer, anyway), but that’s mostly because most of the best shows ran longer than what has become the industry norm of a single season. And indeed, heading into the new decade, we seem to be seeing a major renaissance for two- or split-cour shows, given the massive success seen by shows like My Hero Academia, Food Wars, and Haikyuu!!..particularly in comparison to the new perpetual-runners Black Clover (which, despite running for over two straight years now, is still not the most popular show of Fall 2017 by viewer count on MAL, and sits at a ‘meh’ 7.2), and even worse, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, which is faring even worse on both counts even though it premiered two whole seasons earlier and the fact that it is the sequel to Naruto.

As a reminder of my rules, the shows on this list may or may not have premiered in 2019, but they finished airing this year. The split-cour rule (stating that I judge any show that “finishes” and then premieres a “new season” within six months) didn’t come into play for any 2018 shows, but it will for Ascendance of a Bookworm and Food Wars this year, at the very least.

With that being said! 25 shows running longer than thirteen episodes finished airing this year after being simulcast, and of those…

I skipped 6:

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part V: Golden Wind, Fairy Tail Final Series, A Certain Magical Index III, Ace Attorney Season 2 and Cardfight Vanguard (2018) because I either dropped or have not finished their previous (also long-running) seasons.

Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS because the simulcast started late and also it was bad.

I Dropped 8:

Worst Long Show of 2019: The Rising of the Shield Hero

It’s always fun to see that a show you hated from its first episode only gets more and more distasteful afterwards, but it’s less fun when a service you have to promote because they’re the legal option is forced to shove it down your throat because they had a hand in making it and it became a massive hit that your friends don’t see any issue with because the author wrote a story that justifies its hero’s patronage of the slave industry. This is my punishment for watching the whole first season of The Asterisk War before I knew better.

YU-NO: A girl who chants love at the bound of this world

A confusing mess from the word go, this ill-fated adaptation of a visual novel from the nineties seems like it was mostly made to cash in on the popularity of the Science Adventure series, but failed to present itself in a way that made an ounce of sense or looked remotely interesting.

Fairy Gone

Am I really the only one that saw potential here? I mean yes, it ended up a boring slog that didn’t care to move its plot in a meaningful direction, but the first episode was at least cool. I guess Izetta: The Last Witch should have taught me better.

We Never Learn

I know that I’m in the minority in terms of the male demographic for shows like this, but honestly, how are bland harem shows still this easy to market? A copy-pasted protagonist with copy-pasted waifus drag down what could be an interesting setup for a story. 

Karakuri Circus

The first episode of this one had me excited, the second and third left me bored to tears and wondering if it would continue to look uglier by the minute. I haven’t seen a three-cour show look this janky since Knight in the Area.

Radiant

Having heard good things about this show from my cohorts, I do feel bad for saying I’ll probably never return to Radiant, but when you have a show that’s notably written by a European author...and it turns out to be a frustratingly standard shounen affair with middling production values, well, you can see my earlier annoyance with Cannon Busters.

Ensemble Stars

This one still gets to me. It almost looked like a male-idol show I would finally be able to get behind, what with its rebellious attitude and oddball setting...that is, until the setting got to be too unbelievable and the show began drowning its audience in side-characters because they had to squeeze every husbando from the mobile game into the story, and it all began to resemble UtaPri a little too much...but without the production value.

Boogiepop and Others

This was a hard drop, honestly. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I felt four episodes in, before concluding that I was bored and not particularly invested, two things that should never describe the experience of watching a Madhouse show. The fact that this was the project responsible for ruining One Punch Man only made it worse. There’s a slow burn, and then there’s walking away without turning the stove on.

And I Finished 11 (holy crap that’s like three hundred episodes just on their own).

That Time I Was Reincarnated as a Slime (5/10 & 1/10)

I’ll be honest, I had forgotten just how livid I was with the ending (and especially the sad excuse of a recap episode) of Slimesekai, and reading back through my write-up of it, it’s certainly coming back to me. While this year had bigger demons to fight (Shield Hero), the bad taste that Slime left me with hasn’t really faded, and the wasted premise bugs me to this day.

Hinomaru Sumo (7/10)

What Hinomaru lacked in production value, it happily made up for in good execution and earnest heart. I can’t believe this came from the same studio as Conception, Try Knights and 7Seeds, but if they can only get out one good show a year, I’m glad that we got one bringing attention to a sport that many will joke about but few understand, respect and appreciate.

Kono Oto Tomare (7/10)

Speaking of giving love to traditional Japanese culture, here’s a decent-if-unoriginal show about a local high school koto club down on their luck, and the troubled teens coming together under a scrappy protagonist to bring it back to life. Kono Oto Tomare doesn’t have much that you haven’t seen before, but a decently-executed club drama with Your Lie In April-inspired musical performances is more than enough to keep me interested, and since Forest of Piano kinda crashed and burned under the weight of its own self-importance this year, it was nice to have an alternative.

MIX: Meisei Story (8/10)

It’s hard to judge MIX next to the other shows on this list because it’s almost too old-school for its own good, revelling in an eighties storytelling style that didn’t end up jiving with a wide audience this year. But at the same time, its fun character dynamics (and a very good dub from Funimation, despite them saying they’d never touch sports anime again) were very entertaining to watch, even if it didn’t focus as much on the sport it was supposedly about as much as I’d have liked.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (8/10)

I fully admit that I’m very salty about the fact that this won Show of the Decade in Funimation’s poll while it was still on and I thought there were hundreds of more deserving shows, but I can’t deny that Demon Slayer was a very enjoyable experience, albeit one that I had notable problems with. That’s not gonna stop me from getting mad when it sweeps the Anime Awards in a few weeks, though.

Fire Force (8/10)

I was very afraid that David Productions wouldn’t be able to match the energy of Studio Bones’ adaptation of Ohkubo’s previous work, Soul Eater, but I was happy to be proven wrong. Even if the last few episodes contained a bit too much infodumping, it was all sandwiched between jaw-dropping fight scenes that proved that the people who make Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure can still handle the reins of a more traditional action show.

Fruits Basket 1st Season (8/10)

I know that my score for this one is a bit lower than others, but I think that Fruits Basket did pretty well in its first season, considering that it was largely spent setting up future storylines and adapting the part of the manga we’d all seen before, but with much higher production value. I’ve been familiar with this part of the story for over a decade, and the scene with Tohru and Kyo (you know the one) still made me cry. Now, we get the real plot going.

Dr Stone (9/10)

A great start to a totally new spin on shounen, Dr Stone gives me hope for survival in the post-Shokugeki world in which we’ll soon live, as a show that wears its research on its sleeve. A complex plot weaving interesting characters in and out of a narrative surrounding a philosophical battle where both sides actually do have fair points (even if one of them is going about it in a pretty cruel manner). More please.

Vinland Saga (9/10)

Once again, a great start to what will hopefully be years of quality storytelling, Vinland Saga made it seem like it was dragging in the middle only to reveal just what its slow burn had been leading up to, with twist-heavy storytelling and a fantastic cast to match the high visual quality of its brutal battles.

Run With the Wind (9/10)

It’s not often that Production I.G. gets to make a complete, fully-realized show anymore, and this one was a glorious reminder of the potential of the studio in the TV space, and a great rebound for the director of Joker Game. It’s gorgeous to look at, the cast is wonderful, and the story is both realistic and idealistic in a satisfying balance. It’s a miserable process to get to the finish line in real life, but sitting back and watching this was nothing but a treat. At least, until a minor fumble at the end.

Best Long Show of 2019: Dororo (9/10)

Speaking of complete stories, Tezuka Productions and MAPPA teamed up for a breathtaking adaptation of an underappreciated Tezuka classic that expands upon the story in exactly the right way to create a thrilling, savage, beautiful masterpiece that focuses a laser-sharp eye into the relationship between two characters in their journey to, literally and figuratively, become complete people. Also, that opening was killer.

And that’s it! That’s the fun list. Next comes the painful one. Stay tuned for the trash heap.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Exploring the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula

Garnet bamboo trees are cool to look at. They don't seem like much at first glance but when you look closely, you can see little buds poking out, like tiny gem shards. I guess that's how the bamboo got its name - the buds do look like a bunch of tiny garnets.

This place is chock full of them and according to Yasmine, it's the only known place where they grow. Aside from the unusual buds, it's like any other bamboo plant - but that doesn't make it any less special. The flowers however are used in teas and soups, so those are local specialties here. They add a subtle bittersweet flavor that goes well with many soups and stir fried veggies.

I've been here for a couple days exploring the peninsula with Nathan, Yasmine, Dello, and Donna. Originally it was just me, Nate, and Yasmine, then we ran into the Clanwings so our trio became a quintet!

Yasmine and Nathan are on break from grad school. I didn't even know Yasmine went to the same college until recently, having just enrolled in the spring semester. I remember that she was debating going back to school after leaving the entourage. She and Nathan aren't in any classes together but since it's a small school they sometimes run into each other at the commons so they kinda know each other.

I've never heard of the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula until Yasmine brought it up. She heard about the place through Jamie, who of course would know about it. Along with the bamboos, the place is known for its cafes and bike trails. Being an avid biker and motorcyclist, Yasmine was intrigued. So when she suggested traveling there to me and Nathan, we became intrigued too.

The peninsula really is a lovely place for sightseeing and hanging out at cafes. It's perfect for a chill vacation where you don't really want to do too much other than be in a different setting. Just seeing the garnet bamboos up close and trying the local cuisine is enough of a fun experience. If that's all we end up doing, then I'm more than satisfied.

While biking along the beach trail, we ran into Dello and Donna. Dello somehow got his bike stuck and Donna was having no luck helping him. So we pitched in and managed to get the bike out, but it was in pretty bad shape. Based on how the crash scene looked, it's lucky that Dello only had a few scrapes and bruises.

Then again, I'm pretty sure Dello - and Donna - are like physically immune or something because they can take a lot of damage and somehow not break any bones or get crushed. It's funny but also kinda weird and unsettling - even they're low key freaked out by it sometimes. I'm pretty sure their uncle had something to do with that - likely by accident as that tends to happen a lot with the Clanwings.

Anyway, we invited Dello and Donna to dinner after helping them with the bike problem. They were sent by their uncle for a business trip and were planning to leave soon. Then they decided to extend their stay because things are a bit chaotic at home and Louise suggested that they hang around for a bit. She didn't elaborate too much but she insisted that they postpone going home so we assume it has something to do with their dear old uncle getting into some sort of trouble.

So Donna and Dello are now on a short vacation, which Donna's looking forward to. Dello admitted that he could use a break, but he also feels kinda bad for leaving Louise alone with the kids. Louise says she and the boys surprised the kids with a camping trip so they won't be at the mansion either. So whatever their uncle has gotten himself into, he's on his own.

It's been fun exploring the peninsula, gathering flowers, visiting cafes, and enjoying the view. We also took turns riding with Yasmine on her motorcycle, which was kinda scary at first but a lot of fun!

Yasmine's got an impressive collection of motorcycles as well as a vast knowledge on them. She occasionally works as a stunt rider, which was how Jamie met her. She's one of those people who gives off the impression of being a cool badass type and not only she is, but she's fun to hang out with too!

Before that, Yasmine was an actress best known on the Teen Scene sitcom Popular Besties. The show, I'll admit, was not that good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. The episodes tend to be a hit or miss and the first two seasons were all right but by the third and final season it was tedious. It was pretty obvious that Yasmine and her co-star were tired of the show so it wasn't a surprise when they later revealed that they quit, which was why season four was scrapped at the last minute.

Since getting to know Yasmine, I can't help but think of how her talents were wasted on Popular Besties. A lot of actors who debuted on Teen Scene have mixed feelings regarding their breakout roles and have since then moved on to better things. Yasmine still acts occasionally, though she's slowly phasing away from the entertainment industry. She says she's still not quite sure what direction she wants to go in but grad school's a start as well as continuing to pursue motorcycle racing.

Nathan has got a look at Yasmine's motorcycle collection and as expected, he was impressed. We don't know too much about those kinds of things but we know an impressive collection when we see one. I'm glad that they're getting along well - Yasmine's the type who easily becomes friends with everyone, even with people you'd think she wouldn't have much in common with. It's not that she and Nate are opposites but they come from completely different circles so it's unlikely that their paths would ever cross.

Things in Astra are pretty much the same for Nathan, and that's the way he and his family like it. He did mention that he visited Evan's grave for the first time in months, a kinda spur of the moment thing he didn't expect to do. He said he was reading a case study for a class that stirred up some memories so he had to step back when it became too much. Then he found himself at the cemetery and that kinda helped, or at least it grounded him. He told his therapist about it and she said some things that has left him thinking about the past.

I hope that one day he'll finally find peace with that. Nathan's come a long way since we first met and while what happened to his brother still hangs over him, at least he no longer beats himself up over it. That's why he wants to help people, to prevent tragedies like Evan, to save those going through a downward spiral no matter how far gone or beyond saving they think they are.

Dello and Donna have been up to the usual as well, shenanigans and all. Easton's hanging out with Rolly a lot so now they're best friends. Edie's happy about that as she mentioned that before Rolly, Easton didn't have too many close friends his age, probably because he's used to being around those older than him. Stork pops in often as usual and it's never a dull moment when he's around. We got to video chat with Louise and the kids, which was nice. They're all having a great time out on the road, sightseeing like we are.

Philly asked Nathan and Yasmine about Astra as he wants to go to grad school and is always looking far ahead in the future. Tally, as expected, asked about the garnet buds in hopes of using Tally Inc. to make a profit. Dello promised Rosie to bring home some sweet treats, particularly the pink moonberry daifuku a local cafe is famous for. Molly and her friends popped in for a bit just to say hi as well so it was nice to catch up with everyone.

The Clanwings are what most would consider an eccentric family. In a way, they kinda remind me of the McManns, except a lot bigger. Apparently they're kinda distantly related so I guess that explains the similarities. Both heads of the families are rich old men who happen to have a late younger sister, both who have twins who are left to keep an eye on their uncles. The uncles tend to get in trouble during their adventures so a lot of people end up mixing the families up.

Strangely though, even though I know Rocky, Chrissie, Dello, and Donna and they all know each other, I've never hung out with all four of them at once. Like I've known them for years and they live in Cityburg so you'd think at some point I'd meet up with Chrissie and Donna or Dello and Rocky on separate occasions but it hasn't happened yet. I mean it will (should) happen one day but I just find it funny that it hasn't.

Speaking of Rocky and Chrissie, we talked about them a bit. Dello said he dropped by to see Rocky and Lex before coming here. We joke that Rocky and Lex should tie the knot before baby #3 comes along, especially now that they're engaged but with no wedding date set yet. They've been pretty much following Dello and Louise with the whole having two kids before getting married. Though from the looks of it, I don't think Rocky and Lex plan on adding another family member anytime soon, if ever.

I don't know how Dello and Louise did it, having four kids roughly a year apart. Rosie and Lessi are 14 months apart, both were pre-marriage, Lessi and Cissy are about a year and a half apart being the widest age gap, then Cissy and Rolly, aka the planned post marriage ones, at 10 months because Rolly came early. So basically Louise was on and off pregnant for 4-5 years, which is insane.

As for Donna, she had the boys and that was it. Before that, it was apparently rumored that the Clanwings were at risk of dying out since Dello and Donna were the only heirs left as for some reason the family members are against marriage, or at least have no interest in it. At this point Dello's the only living Clanwing who's married, but even he and Louise were on the fence about marriage for a while.

So we met up at this place called the Pink Daifuku and enjoyed a bunch of sweet treats. The peach mochi cakes are my favorite as well as the green garnet rose tea. We also shared a bottle of sweet white wine infused with garnet bamboos, which add an interesting flavor. I think this is the sweetest wine I've ever tasted - it's good but a bit too overpowering, something that would probably be paired better with a meal instead of desserts or alone.

Tomorrow we're gonna visit the Diamond Winery to try some more garnet wines and see how they're made. The winery's on one of the top places to visit in the Garnet Bamboo Peninsula because it has a gorgeous view of the cliffs and it's the only place where garnet wines are made. Dello and Donna are into that kind of stuff so of course they'd want to check it out. Yasmine said she always wanted to try the garnet champagne while Nathan and I are looking forward to taking a bunch of nice pics as well as the free wine samples.

After the cafe we rented some bikes and explored the Waybright Plains trail. There, we looked at the ruins and collected some garnet bamboo. Something about Waybright feels eerie, then again that's how most abandoned places feel like. Exploring ruins up close and personal is always an interesting experience.

We tried to solve something that looked like a puzzle involving the torches but couldn't figure it out. I think we were close though as we managed to light all but one of the torches up. Well, I was never really good at puzzles anyway, and maybe it's probably for the best that we didn't activate what was in there. I mean, I doubt it's like a trap or something, but it is kinda weird that a device like that still works and is just left out in the open. Dello was right to be a bit iffy about it, especially from personal experience.

Yeah, as tempting as it can be, I think we're better off leaving those alone. I don't want to be responsible for causing a catastrophe by messing around with something I shouldn't have.

Time flies quickly when you're wandering the corridors of old ruins. It's easy to get lost in a place like this - I'm surprised that we managed to stay together the whole time. And not only that, but we also managed not to set off any traps or have any accidents along the way so another win. Then again, these ruins are open to the public so that obviously wouldn't be a problem or else we wouldn't have been able to just freely walk in.

For the trip back, we took the scenic route. The trails are super well lit so there's no worries about it getting too dark - and we were out pretty late. Riding around the peninsula at night has a different vibe than in the daytime. I think it's the glow of the lanterns that add to this sorta dreamy, disconnected vibe that makes it so chill. Plus the trails aren't as busy at this time of night so it's just us and the garnet bamboo. If it weren't for the mosquitos, I'd go on nighttime hikes more often.

[gottlem]

the best type of chaos. (1/?)

a/n : here is the season 12 highschool au nobody asked for !!! there’s a few different ships going on, so you’ll have to keep reading to find out who ends up with who! 

summary: twelve teenagers at one dinner table may sound like a recipe for disaster. and maybe it is. but they girls love it and love each other, so who can really complain? it’s their junior year, and they’re ready to take it on together. (chapter 1, 2k words)

A group of 12 teenage girls at one dinner table in the cafeteria sounds like it would end in disaster, but for the past few years, The Gays Plus Gigi (as they had deemed themselves) have managed it quite well. It’s like they have their own little family - sometimes they fight, Dahlia usually being the one to start an argument, but they would always make up in no time. They make the most out of their lunch hour each day, allowing themselves to take a break from the often stressful school day. The group just worked together, each person a cog in the machine they had built up during their time at school. 

They would sit in the same seats at the same table each day, their routine hardly ever being broken. The only two girls who weren’t there everyday were Gigi and Nicky, both being ‘popular’ girls and sitting with their other friends most days. They both preferred their little family of twelve though, loving the ability to be authentically themselves.

-

The first day of school always seemed to bring up a different emotion in each student. On the first day of junior year, Crystal woke up early, her alarm marking the start of a new day. She wasn’t usually a morning person (not many students were) but sometimes she could appreciate the way the morning sun would shine brightly through her windows, brightening up her mood in the process. She was ready for the school year. She knew it would soon get stressful and something would absolutely go wrong at some point, but right now she was looking forward to another fresh start. 

Gigi hated the first day of school. She had a hard time letting go of summer, each year it seemed to get better, which meant reality came crashing back to her harder and harder each time. When she woke up, the only thing that could motivate her to leave her bed was the thought of seeing her friends again, even if she had seen them a million times over summer anyways. She could never get tired of them. Soon enough, she made herself a coffee and set off to Crystal’s house so they could walk together.

Crystal didn’t wait for Gigi to knock on her door, she swung it open the second Gigi arrived at her doorstep, quickly giving her a bone-crushing hug as a ‘hello’. 

“I’ve missed you so much Crys” Crystal giggled at the way Gigi’s breath tickled her neck, both of them staying in the tight hug.

“Gigi you saw me, like, three days ago” Gigi stepped back to look Crystal in the eyes.

“I know! I know, but it was summer then and now it’s not and we’ll still see eachother but it won’t be the same because now we’ll be worrying about school and we can’t just hang out. We’ll have like no spare time!”

“G. I will always have time for you. Now let's go, we can’t be late”

The walk to school took them the best part of half an hour - too long for Crystal’s liking, but at least it gave her time to chat with Gigi before the day gets too hectic. The girls walked side by side, shoulders bumping with every other step. The contact was not unwelcome. They had always been close, both emotionally and physically, not being scared to show any affection. They had even shared some friendly kisses from time to time. They were just pecks. And Gigi was straight anyways so it couldn’t mean anything, right?

Crystal couldn’t help but steal glances at the girl next to her on the way to school. She had always found Gigi beautiful. The way she walks, the way she talks. Crystal would never admit this aloud, not like it wasn’t already painfully obvious to everyone but Gigi, but she was in deep. It didn’t help that Gigi had started interrogating her on their walk.

“So how are things with your girlfriend? I feel like you haven’t mentioned her in like months. You’re not keeping something from me are you? You didn’t like, secretly elope over summer did you? That would be rude Crystal Elizabeth. Not inviting your best friend, horrible” Crystal knew she was joking, but she also knew she had to explain why she hadn’t mentioned her.

Crystal stopped walking. Gigi was right, she hadn’t mentioned her girlfriend in a while because she hadn’t even thought about her. She broke it off at the beginning of Summer, when she began to realise she had rising feelings for someone else. She wasn’t even that bothered by the break up, which was surprising because Crystal felt every emotion so strongly she would often get overwhelmed.

“We uh… we broke up. At the start of summer. I didn’t tell you? I thought I had.”

Crystal knew for a fact she hadn’t mentioned it to Gigi - the less she talks to her about her love-life, the better. She can’t have Gigi find out about her feelings for her. She knew she wasn’t the kind of girl to instantly assume every lesbian has a weird crush on her. She has been the most supportive of Crystals’ sexuality ever since she came out. A true ally. Hell, Gigi had joined her for pride a few times, and didn’t flinch when people assumed she wasn’t straight. Sometimes she would even forget to correct them. But still, no matter how cool Gigi was with her closest friend being gay, Crystal was terrified of exposing her feelings. She didn’t want to be the lesbian who crushes on her striaght best friend. She doesn’t want to make Gigi uncomfortable, especially with how close they can get at times. 

“You guys broke up?! Oh my god, do I need to kill her? Because I will. Are you ok? Because all summer you seemed to be ok and, I mean this with so much love, I kind of expected you to be a mess if things didn’t work out”

Crystal was at a loss for words. How could she even begin to explain this? ‘Yeah it didn’t work out because I’m kind of in love with you’ No. Absolutely not.

“Yeah um, I guess we both kinda lost feelings for eachother and decided we’d be better off as friends. I really am ok G, promise. Thanks for checking though. Anyways! Are you ok? I know you never really talked about your breakup much. That guy rubbed me the wrong way”

Gigi froze. There was a reason she didn’t necessarily want to talk about her breakup - especially with Crystal. But she didn’t even know if she could admit that to herself yet.

“Yeah I’m ok. I don’t wanna talk about it” Gigi cursed her voice for cracking at the end. Crystal’s face softened at her friend’s vulnerability and chose to respond by intertwining their fingers together and giving Gigi’s hand a squeeze. The action probably wasn’t good for either of them.

-

Jan and Jaida caught up that morning when they both visited their lockers, which were conveniently right next to each other. Both girls were stuffing their basketball kits into their locker, idly chatting about the yeah ahead of them. They had always enjoyed each other's company, and their friendship was built on trust and love - they trusted one another with their life. And their secrets. Which is why Jan wasn’t surprised when Jaida brought up Jackie.

“Ok, chile, what is up with you and Jackie? Y’all better sort yourselves out and get together this year or so help me God-”

“Oh my God Jaida! Shut up! You're being so loud what if she like, walks by and overhears you?”

“That would be great! Maybe one of you would finally actually acknowledge your feelings towards each other instead of staring at each other and drooling from across the table”

“I don’t drool. And neither does she! She doesn’t like me that way Jaida, just let it go”

Jans voice lost all enthusiasm in those last few words, and it set off alarm bells in Jaida’s mind. Sometimes she surprised herself with how well she could read the girl despite how happy she acted all the damn time. If this was getting to Jan of all people, it needed to be sorted out. She was quick to engulf the blonde in a tight hug, trying to convey that no matter what happens or doesn’t happen with Jackie, she would always be there for Jan. Always.

“It’s weird I talk to you about this. You’re technically my ex” Jan laughed as she stepped away from the hug, trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

“Maybe. But you’re my friend first. Besides, I think I am the best person to talk to about this because I have personal experience” She gave a comically over exaggerated wink, just to get her point across. 

About a year prior, the two had dated for a bit, being the only two out gay girls on the team, they figured it was how things should go. However, they quickly realised they were better as friends, though they couldn’t dent that they enjoyed their time together. Their ‘fling’ was short lived, and while they were both more than happy to stay friends, neither girl let the other forget what happened, taking any opportunity to poke fun at their past relationship. It was their own little way of preventing it from getting awkward - if they didn’t acknowledge it, it would get weird, so they opted for the odd joke. If they could laugh it off, it meant they didn’t take the whole situation too seriously. They didn’t want to make lunch awkward.

-

The first few lessons of the day passed painfully slow for everyone. Crystal spent most of her time sneaking looks at Gigi. Jan spent the day looking forward to the first basketball practise of the year. Dahlia managed to start two rumours by accident (both about herself, somehow). Brita and Aiden had already fallen out and made up twice before the end of third period. Rock M doodled through all her lessons, hoping the teachers wouldn’t call on her - most classes were doing start-of-the-year admit tasks anyways. 

When lunch rolled around for the first time that year, the girls found it easy to fall back into their usual routine. It was comforting really, having that one constant no matter how crazy school could get. Yeah, they might get loud, or they might fight, or fall out, but they all loved each other and made the chaos of high school so much more bearable (despite being chaotic themselves). The ten girls (Gigi and Nicky sat at another table for the day, but not without a quick hello at the beginning of the lunch hour) talked about everything under the sun, and eventually the topic of relationships came up. Crystal shied away, leaning back into her seat and hoping that she wouldn’t be asked about her love life. She was. 

“You have a girlfriend, right Crystal? What was her name again?”

“It doesn’t matter, we broke up at the start of summer and before you ask yes I am ok no you don’t need to ask any further questions ok thank you!”

Crystal’s attempt to stop any more questions was feeble, at best, and definitely didn’t work, because now she was being flooded with questions from nine other girls about if she’s really ok, and who broke up with who, why didn’t you tell any of us, are you still friends, did she break your heart, did you break her heart? She didn’t answer any of them. Until Dahlia piped up, somehow always being up to date on the drama (even if Crystal hadn’t told anyone)

“Does it have anything to do with your crush on Gigi?”

The table fell silent. Crystal turned red, but refused to acknowledge it - if she acted like the question was nothing, then it would seem like nothing. She took a deep breath.

“My what on who?”

“You heard me bitch! It’s obvious you like her”

Was it that obvious? She thought she hid it well. After all, she didn’t want anyone to know, especially Gigi herself. Thank God she wasn’t here.

“I don’t. She’s straight - I don’t fall for straight girls. There’s no point”

Crystal wished it was that easy.

[yuthoe]

may i request a full fic of idol!reader where they accidentally reveal they’re dating yuto? 🥺

Hello!!! Super sorry for taking so long to get this out. This is actually the first request I’ve gotten on this blog, especially with a small following like mine.

I’ve been wondering for a while how I’m going to approach this, because I want to be as realistic in my writing as possible. I did a little research on dating bans in the K-pop industry, and based on the stuff I found, Cube doesn’t really have a dating ban. But with what happened with Hyuna and Dawn, I wanted to be careful (even if it is fiction, and creative liberties are a thing). There’s conflicting narratives that come into play here, and since I’m still not sure if Cube has a dating ban or not, I couldn’t follow the request to a T. Sorry about that :((. 

But here is my attempt at fulfilling your request, as much as I’m comfortable with

WARNINGS: n/a. WORD COUNT: 1,879.

—

Hide and Seek

You should be used to being in the spotlight like this, given your three years in the K-pop industry. Everytime you make a comeback, it’s expected that you’re thrust into interviews, guest appearances on TV, and music show recordings for a month following the release. Sometimes guestings take the whole day and recordings take the whole night, with very little breaks between. Most days you eat twice a day, light meals that are eight to ten hours apart. You sleep in the car on the way to appointments and barely have the energy to shower once you get back to your apartment before collapsing bone-tired on your bed, only to be woken up by your alarm four hours later for an early schedule.

It’s safe to say that, with your promotion schedule almost over, you are tired, hopped up on caffeine from coffee and energy drinks, and will most definitely sleep for 14 hours after all this done.

That’s all that’s running through your brain as you sit on a tall swivel chair between the hosts of another show (you’re not certain which one, at this point) on your right, and the whole of Pentagon on your left. Normally, you would be intimidated, sitting next to such a big group, that’s had so much success in their career so far. Having debuted almost at the same time (yours only a week earlier than theirs), you’re fairly close with the members. You may not be from the same agency, but you often go out on hang-outs with them, made easy by being Wooseok’s friend from high school. You know you’ve encountered all the members once or twice before, so you’re a lot less nervous about this interview.

“So Pentagon has returned for another comeback, along with your first ever full album called Universe: The Black Hall,” Dara, one of the hosts, says. “The title track is ‘Dr. Bebe’ and the concept this time is very dark. What made you guys decide to go for this type of concept for this comeback?”

“Yeah,” the other host Doyun concurs, “because Pentagon is known for your cute concepts like ‘Shine’, ‘Naughty Boy’ and ‘Humph’, right? Why the sudden change?”

“It’s exactly as you said,” Hui replied easily. “We have done a lot of cute and light concepts before, so this time we wanted to showcase a completely different side of us. I think a lot of people were surprised this time that we came out with a much heavier track that usual,” he finishes with a laugh.

“It’s also a chance to showcase more profound emotions for us,” Jinho adds. “It’s very… refreshing to have something new to play with in terms of conveying emotions and situations.”

The hosts hum in understanding, and you nod along. Doyun turns to you and you fell yourself sit up straighter. “And what about you, Y/N? You came out with a new mini-album along with the release of your new music video for the song ‘Blue and White’. What type of concept are you going for this time?”

“Well, the title of my mini-album is For Me and what I was going for this time is like a personal letter for me in different situations,” you begin. “’Blue and White’ is the opening track, and it’s sort of a mirror to a beautiful morning sky. It’s supposed to give you an energetic feeling, abut also a sense of contentment and peace, sort of like that.” You fiddle with the polka-dotted blanket on your lap. “I can’t really give a concrete concept for the whole album, but ‘Blue and White’ is a very light song, very happy, very bubbly.”

“Oh, yeah, I listened to it yesterday, and it did make me want to get up and go on a jog,” Dara says, and everyone laughs.

“That’s great, it worked!” Doyun says, clapping his hands before extending one to Pentagon. “Have any of you listened to her album?”

You look over and see a few hands raise—Hui, Yeo One, Hongseok, and Yuto. More of them listened to your album than you thought, and it makes you blush. Hui is an idol of yours when it comes to making songs, and you feel honored that he’s listening to your work.

“Ooh, quite a number of you,” he says. “Do you have a favorite track?”

Hongseok raises his hand. Dara invites him to answer and  Hongseok says, “I really like ‘Indigo’. I’m a big fan of ballads, and ‘Indigo’ such a good track to sing to. It’s very melancholic, and I think the feeling is supposed to convey frustration and loneliness, right?” He turns to you, as if for confirmation, and you nod excitedly. “Yeah, it’s a feeling that I’ve experienced before and the way it was treated as a subject matter in the song makes the emotions just… flow out of you, so it’s very easy to sing to.”

You bow to him in thanks, clasping your fingers together. Dara calls for another round, for anyone who wants to say their favorite track.

Yuto holds up a shy hand and timidly says, “’Blossoms’ is my favorite.”

“That’s a ballad, right?” Doyun says. “Do you sing along to it, like Hongseok?” he teases, and makes Yuto smile a bit.

“A little,” he replies, smile still on his face. “But singing isn’t really my strong suit. I like the song because it’s… it’s about love, but the repeating kind of love, in a sense that it persists and survives in good times and bad times, sort of like that.”

You had craned your neck to get a look at Yuto while he was speaking, but Wooseok is too tall and obstructing your view. Nonetheless, hearing him compliment ‘Blossoms’ on an interview so openly—and accurately, because you had him listen to the demo version of it and explained it to him—makes a tiny, pleased smile appear on your face.

“And you, Y/N? Do you have a favorite track from their album?” Dara asks, swivels her chair to face you.

You think, really think about it. “Aaahh, this is hard, all the songs in the album are amazing, and I’ve had them on repeat in my phone for the past week.” Everyone laughs at this. “But I think ‘Camellia’ is my favorite one out of all of them. I have a love-hate relationship with poems, even though I write poems set to music for a living, but the imagery in ‘Camellia’ is so strong and vivid that I just, see movie snapshots in my brain whenever I listen to it. It’s also very nice to sing to, and I love ballads as well.”

“What’s the song about again, can someone explain?” Dara gestures to Pentagon or to you, fine with anyone speaking up.”

“It’s actually Yuto’s song,” Kino suddenly says. “He wrote it.” He looks behind him, softly asking if he Yuto wants to explain it. When Yuto shakes his hand to decline, Kino turns back around and says, “Okay, it’s actually also about an everlasting love, and follows the image of a flower that blooms and withers constantly with the seasons.”

“Oh, so it’s a lot like ‘Blossoms’, then,” Doyun says, at awe in the connection of the songs. He points to you and Yuto. “You two have the same taste in music, huh?”

“Ah, I’m quite close to the maknae in Pentagon, and we frequently hang out when we have free days,” you say, and immediately think that maybe that wasn’t the best explanation. “We frequently give each other song recommendations, so maybe our tastes converge at some point.” It’s a lousy save, but it’s still a save.

Sure, let’s go with that, you think, as if the reason you like Camellia so much isn’t because it was the only thing you listened to for two weeks after the release of the album. And it’s not because when he was writing it, Yuto sent you short clips of the instrumental, as well as snippets of the demo track that had him singing softly across the melodies. Yeah, that’s totally not the reason why you love it so much.

“Oh, so you all hang out a lot, outside of recording schedules?” Dara says, looking at Kino at the front row, and then at Wooseok and Yuto sitting tall at the back row.

“I know her from high school,” Wooseok supplies. “So even before we debuted, we hung out a lot. Lately she just goes out with Yuto, though, since I’ve turned into a homebody.”

Your heart is beating a mile a minute. If you could, you’d jump from your chair and strangle your best friend this instant. Why didn’t he just say that you just dragged Yuto along during your get-togethers? Or maybe not mention Yuto at all? Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to him, too.

Dara and Doyun in the meantime, have sniffed out a possible scoop. “Ooohh, are these like dates?” Dara asks.

You put up your hands and vehemently (but not too much) shake your head. “No, it’s mainly just. Uh. Going out for coffee, since our dorms are near each other. Sometimes we watch movies and stuff because we’re both have free schedules, and the other members are busy.” You laugh smile, nerves alight, blood pumping adrenaline. “It’s mostly coincidental that we end up going out.”

You vaguely see Yuto nod his head before saying, “I think I pester Kino and Wooseok to go out a lot, too, and they’re busy anyway, so it ends up as just Y/N and I going out, even if we do want the members there, too.” Yuto cranes is neck to look at you, nodding slightly. Whether it’s to comfort you, or to make sure his story aligns with yours, you’re not sure. You nod back anyway, to ease the burden on his shoulders as well.

“Aah,” Doyun says, “so they aren’t dating; just good friends! And it’s very common these days to be friends with someone of the opposite gender, no?”

Well, you are dating. You just haven’t told your companies yet because you haven’t been together for long—give or take five months? Too early to tell anyone except for Kino, Wooseok, Hui, and both your managers. You’re not ready to come out to a lot of people, considering you both want to be more secure in the industry before letting it slip.

You both understand the need to keep it a secret, although it’s quite difficult whenever you get asked about relationships as they usually come in three to four questions. It’s also difficult when Wooseok decides that now is the time to tease that you and Yuto go on dates a lot. You make a mental note to ask your manager if it’s possible to not be scheduled at the same time as Pentagon, so you don’t have to drag the whole group down with you in case—knock on wood—a scandal happens.

The hosts have changed the topic—something about a game segment—and you take a calming breath; the danger has passed.

You have to admit, though: as stressful as keeping your dating life a secret can be, it’s also pretty thrilling. It’s like a long-running game of hide and seek.

[gobigorgohome2016]

Staying Injury Free

A few days ago one of Dave’s former college teammates stayed with us.  He and I talked shop, and he was especially curious about my high mileage and durability, given that he had been plagued with mileage-related injuries for most of his running career.  He made the comment that I must be very biomechanically sound, and I laughed.  While I have worked hard to fix a lot of my inefficiencies, 15 of the past 17 years of running I had pretty bad form.  

On a shakeout the other day, Dave and I were talking about possible reasons why I have been fortunate to be relatively injury-free, drawing upon my 7-years of being injury-free in middle school and high school, my 5 years of being mostly injured in college, and then the previous 6 years where I have had two injuries:  a calf strain that was directly related to rolling out of bed, hungover, and going immediately for a dehydrated run in high heat and humidity after 4 hours of sleep, and an “up the chain” injury that resulted from poor dorsii flexion in my ankle, causing compensations in my knee/hip.  I consider both of those to be somewhat freak injuries, different than if I were to have sustained a stress fracture or tendonitis.  

Anyway, I noticed that a lot of people have posted on social media that one of their new year’s resolutions is to be injury free in 2017.  Listed here are some of the factors that I think have helped me be pretty durable throughout my running career.

I Have Good Genes First and foremost, I’m sure genetics play a huge role.  If you know my family, you’re probably like, umm, really, good genes?  Isn’t everyone in your family sick?  While the answer is yes, my dad has regenerative super healing powers that have made him last much longer than he probably should have.  For instance, 5 years ago he had congestive heart failure.  This past year, cardiologists at mayo clinic announced the heart failure to be a fluke [this is not normal].  His primary mayo clinic doctor has also marveled numerous times that he seems to have super healing abilities when it comes to surgeries and other procedures.  I am convinced that I have some of his recovery abilities.  My mom is also pretty hardy, which shouldn’t be surprising considering she claims she was a pioneer in her past life and will be a farrier (horse shoer) in her next life.  (note:  my mom is afraid of horses).  If you don’t have good genes, it helps to figure out your deficiencies.  Do all of your family members suffer from low bone density?  Calcium supplements and strength training may be a good way to mitigate these issues.  

I Run on Soft Surfaces In middle school and high school I only ever ran on soft surfaces, thanks to the nearby Indiana Dunes and a coach who was willing to drive us out there every day.  My only injury-free year of college also consisted primarily of soft-surface running.  I do think that one reason for my injuries the rest of the time in Milwaukee was due to running on A LOT of concrete.  Post-college, I returned to trails and crushed limestone, and it was a great transition for my legs.  Now, 75%+ of my running is on trails or crushed gravel. 

I’m Lazy I have said it before and I will say it again:  I don’t love running for the sake of running.  For me, training is a necessary evil so that I can do what I truly enjoy, which is race.  Therefore, my brain is always looking for a way out.  If I have the slightest niggle, sniffle, or prolonged muscle soreness, I take a day off or cut my run short.  The focus is on being able to race for me, not painfully powering through a run just so that I can write it down in my running log.

Good Coaching The more that I talk to others, the more I am realizing how much a coach shapes the early stages of a runner’s development.  I was very fortunate that my high school coach (who is also my current coach) preached the importance of getting to the starting line healthy.  I have always understood that health > hitting all of your workouts.  I distinctly remember my junior year of high school going over my running log with my coach and being proud of the fact that I had run 100 days in a row.  I told him about how I almost didn’t make it because I had a week where my calves were absolutely destroyed and I didn’t really want to do my Sunday run, but didn’t want to give up my streak.  In my 16 year old dumb head I thought I was being smart and awesome, but instead he told me I should have called him that day and he would have told me to rest.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my junior track season was relatively my worst out of all of high school. 

Sponsorship One thing that has surprised me is that I’m more cautious with my training now that I have sponsorship and am on elite ambassador teams.  I truthfully would have thought it would be the other way around.  But, while no sponsor or ambassador program has said this to me, I know that I am worth more as an athlete to be running high level races than to not be running at all.  If that means taking a day off here or there to rehab an injury, then I am more likely to do so than I was 5 year ago.  I also realize that getting invited to run big events sometimes depends on whether I have raced recently, and staying healthy & racing often is as much a business decision as it is something I enjoy.

I Ignore Pace I, like 99.9% of runners, don’t need to be told to speed up.  I will run the pace that’s right for me and my body on any given day.  So, unless I’m running a long run or a workout, I don’t wear my GPS.  I simply map a route for the mileage and run.  I see it way too often where people don’t like the pace they see on their watch (even though it’s the right pace for the day) so they speed up and stress their bodies unnecessarily.  If I am wearing  watch, I tend to run “Badger Miles,” where I just assume I’m running 8 minute pace.  Most times I’m running faster, but sometimes I’m running slower, too.  Since I run primarily on trails, it’s silly to keep a GPS going anyway.  

I’m Flexible Case in point:  over the weekend, I raced a 5k, lifted afterwards, and then ran a 20 miler in the mud the next day, which usually doesn’t bother me but left me very, very sore come Sunday night.  Instead of doing my planned 20 x 200 m on Tuesday, I am heading out in an hour to run the workout, feeling way better now than I did yesterday.  While there are times you should run on tired legs, I’m not at that part in my training cycle.  Being flexible in terms of when I train, and allowing myself ample recovery, is a huge part of staying injury-free.  This is also why I purposely don’t train with others.  If there were set workout days, I would have a difficult time putting the needs of my body over my ego.  

I Sleep I 1000% get that not everyone has the luxury to sleep as much as I do.  But, a lot of people could stand to cut back on mileage in order to increase sleep, and this wouldn’t hurt their fitness (it would do the opposite).  A rule of thumb that I love:  add 10 minutes of sleep for every 10 miles of weekly running.  Therefore, if you run 50 miles per week, add 50 minutes of sleep each night to your base level.  For me, even when I’m not running, I need 7 - 8 hours of sleep.  That means I need 8.5 - 9.5 hours of sleep per night, which is pretty accurate considering I tend to average 9 hours of sleep when I don’t set an alarm.  Figure out the best balance of sleep and mileage for your routine.

I Eat More and more I realize how lucky I am that my mother never restricted her diet, never restricted my diet, and planned our meals based on the dessert she wanted to serve that night.  Growing up, I subsisted on a midwestern diet based on the strict GI needs of my father (who no longer has a colon and can only eat easy-to-digest foods).  We ate a lot of simple foods: meat, potatoes, fish, cooked veggies, and gravies, as well as apple crisps, pies, and shortcakes.  Baking powder biscuits, of which the primary ingredient is crisco, was a staple in our household.  2% milk was served with every meal.  I grew up strong and well-fueled, with a healthy attitude towards meal time.  

I Get the Science A big aggravating factor I see in athletes when it comes to injury is not wanting to take a day or two off due to fear of losing fitness or gaining weight.  Both of these points are moot, and there is plenty of science to back them up.  For one, if you take 7 days off and do absolutely nothing, you will only lose a negligible percentage of your VO2 max, which won’t matter unless you are an elite athlete at the very peak of your training cycle.  Two, you are more likely to lose “weight”, in the form of decreased inflammation, if you take a short period of time off and rehab your body. 

I Make the Right Investments Self care is important, whether that means going to yoga, foam rolling, doing stretching/strengthening activities at home, going to PT regularly (and keeping up with the exercises), or massage therapy.  For me, all of these are important in keeping myself injury free.  While paying for all of these can be difficult at times, it is definitely worth it to me to take care of my body.

I Have Poor Pain Tolerance To go along with making the right investments, I have to pay for those things because my pain tolerance for every day training isn’t very good (races are another story).  I get legit depressed if I’m in pain while I run, so I just take a few days off so that I can only run pain free.

I Had a Long Build Up If you follow my blog, you only know part of the story.  I was NOT always a high mileage runner.  In fact, I never hit a 70 mile week in my life until 2011, and I didn’t hit a 100 mile week until late 2015.  In college I never got above 60 mpw.  Unpopular opinion:  I take issue with the year-end “I ran x number of miles this year” posts because, IMO, they cause more harm than good.  If you didn’t run your highest mileage ever, you’re going to be down on yourself.  It also perpetuates the idea that more is more, when more is not more.  I ran 600 fewer miles in 2016 than 2015 and was arguably more fit.  Mileage doesn’t tell the whole story, and starting the new year hell-bent to beat a previous mileage high is a great way to get injured.  

I Strength Train I will be the first to admit that I have never appreciated the art of strength training until recently.  I stopped doing any form of strength completely between 2010 and 2016, and I will be the first to admit that I was VERY lucky not to have more serious problems than some hamstring tendonopathy.  Now that I’m back to regular strength and core work, I can say with absolute certainty that it has helped me overcome some biomechanic issues that have contributed to aches and pains in the past.

[timesorceror]

Day 1 (January 7th) - Anders and Healing

How has Anders being the healer affected you?  Anders is the healer, meaning he has the bloodiest hands, how do you perceive this?  Anders heals the sick and injured for free in all of DA2, what do you think of the martyr who gives of himself for everyone else?

Dunno how many of these I’m going to be able to do when school starts again, but I’m going to do as many as I can. I want to try to get all of them into fic form so they can be posted to AO3 at some point, so hold onto your butts! :D

For @justhanderspositive‘s challenge: [HERE].

"You have a great aptitude for healing magic, you know.”

Hayden paused in their work –sterilizing and drying and folding linen bandages for use in the clinic– and looked up at Anders, briefly stunned by the comment.

“I-I, uh... yes. I suppose so,” they stammered, glancing back down as they resumed their work. Anders chuckled, and Hayden could almost hear the sly smirk that had likely made its way onto Anders’ face. 

“I mean it,” Anders insisted, and there was a softness to his words underneath the eager praise, “You’re really quite good. More so than most mages who pursue Creation magic. Have you ever thought you could be a Spirit Healer?” Hayden looked up again, though they didn’t meet Anders’ eyes, and instead they frowned a little as they tried to search for an answer to Anders’ question.

“My father was from the Circle here,” Hayden began slowly, “but when we lived in Ferelden, he only ever taught me how to hide from the denizens of the Fade, spirits and demons alike. If I have such an aptitude, I couldn’t tell you.”

Hayden watched as the weight of the revelations dawned on Anders, and the blond’s face fell. The expression made something in Hayden’s chest ache something terrible, and before they could stop themselves, they reached out to grasp one of Anders’ hands. They were too often freezing, shaking, and covered in blood and other bodily fluids. Yet, Anders’ hands made a great many miracles happen every day.

Anders’ hands had kept Fenris from losing a leg once when a dragonling at the Bone Pit had torn a tendon in a rather nasty bite to the inside of his left knee. Another time, when Hayden’s own magic had been tapped out from summoning a firestorm, he’d set broken bones in both Merrill and Isabela, mending them together without being asked. 

And here, in the clinic, Hayden had seen hundreds of Bone Pit workers and sick refugees, more broken bones and infected wounds and coughing fits that wracked their bodies and sounded like death. Anders tended to them all, and not always with magic. Some just needed a few potions and some rest, while others were given a bit of elfroot tea with just a hint of blood lotus and poppy milk and Anders had to bring out his surgical instruments to cut off part of a limb, extract bits of cancerous tissue, or trim back infection before setting either bone or flesh to rights. Once, Hayden had watched Anders deliver a child in this way when it had become clear that both the mother and babe would perish otherwise, and that had been one of the most terrifying and tense moments they’d ever witnessed.

It was such a delicate procedure, putting the woman under but not too much while numbing the pain of the cuts and contractions, then that first cut had to be just right and precise (Hayden remembered now –distantly– how Anders had had everyone clear out but Hayden and Lirene, Lirene who had witnessed and assisted with this sort of thing before) but Anders’ hands were steady and firm in his concentration, and his cuts were quick, his movements purposeful.

It had felt like an eternity, those moments between those cuts and the moment when Anders pried the child out, quickly cutting the cord and handing him off to Lirene. He’d called Hayden over to help clean and heal up the incisions, and Hayden could remember Lirene coaxing out the babe’s first cries off in the distance as their hands shook while assisting Anders, but Anders’ steady hands and low, soothing voice grounded Hayden and everything somehow turned out fine in the end. Hayden had watched Lirene had the cleaned and wrapped child to Anders, who placed it in the mother’s arms as her husband (who’d finally been let back into the clinic) supported her from behind and they cooed over the child in a picture of perfect happiness. Anders had chosen to take up a spot next to him, watching them as well.

“You did well today, Hayden. Thank you for assisting.”

“T-Thank you. It was nothing.”

And then Anders snaked an arm around Hayden’s waist and brought them close, exhaling with soft, shaky laughter.

“Oh, Hayden. You don’t know how much you mean to me.”

And of course, there were the myriad of normal births that Hayden often assisted with. Once, they’d even had to deliver one on their own one day when Anders was out of the city gathering more herbs for his stores, and an elf from the alienage had been brought there by her sister. Hayden, having offered to take Anders’ place for the day, had been a little dumbstruck at first but quickly recovered and helped get the woman settled.

It wasn’t until very late in the evening when Anders arrived back, and Hayden could just see the man standing in the doorway in his peripheral vision, as Hayden was telling the woman to push. They caught the babe –a tiny, squalling little girl– cut the cord and cleaned her, and wrapping her up as Anders quickly set down his things to help with the afterbirth.

“I’m so sorry Hayden,” Anders had said to them sheepishly after they’d fixed something to eat. “If I’d known that she was going to go into labor today I wouldn’t have gone...”

Hayden just laughed and shook their head.

“It’s fine, Anders, really. Now, if I hadn’t assisted you with like a hundred other births, I might’ve been a little out of sorts. Besides, you needed more herbs anyway. How’d that go today, by the way?” 

“Very well, actually. Thank you. It’s prime growing season, so the elfroot and embrium just grow like crazy. I won’t need any more for at least another six weeks. Maybe two months if there’s not another Bone Pit incident.” The two of them shared a look, and for a moment there was nothing but silence before Hayden snorted softly and muttered, “Hnn. I doubt it,” and then they descended into cackling laughter.

But now, as Hayden’s hands grasped Anders’ they worked a different sort of magic. The kind of magic that made Hayden’s heart flutter like a blighted butterfly, and Hayden had been the one to initiate the contact!

“Oh Anders, don’t – don’t feel bad on my account! I – please. I’d love to learn, you know. Why do you think I spend so much time here?”

Hayden offered the healer a soft smile, and they watched as the tenseness in his shoulders relaxed and that sly grin slowly returned. “Oh? Is that the only reason? I thought you only kept me around for my good looks?” Hayden felt their face flush and immediately leaned back and started again on cleaning and folding their linen wraps.

“I–I, um...”

And then it was Anders’ turn to reach out and pause Hayden’s movements, causing their gazes to meet.

“Sorry if my flirting makes you uncomfortable, sweetheart,” Anders said through a soft, huffing laugh. “It’s a habit, I didn’t mean it.”

“I hope you you meant it,” Hayden replied without thinking. “It makes me feel pretty.” And then Hayden seemed to realize what they’d just said and clamped their free hand over their mouth while Anders laughed.

“Oh darling, you’re not just pretty, you’re absolutely gorgeous. Especially in those new robes of yours, they do wonders for your waist, dear.” Anders leaned back and returned to his own work, muttering idly, “By the way, if you have any questions about spirit healing, just ask anytime. I’d be glad to teach you all I know. And there’s plenty of things to read... just a few things I’ve picked up here and there... should be somewhere on my desk...”

And he just sort of continued running at the mouth in that fashion and Hayden simply ran a hand through their long dark hair as they settled in to listen. At some point they’d have a look at those books, probably. And the thought of sharing a particular talent with Anders made Hayden all... warm and tingly.

They most certainly wanted to learn more about spirit healing.

If it meant more time spent with Anders, anything was worth that.

[liz-and-the-blue-bird]

2016 Year In Review

Where Kurt talks about literally everything.

Totally not late 👌.

(Recommended Sountrack. You may just want to put it on loop.)

(Alternate soundtrack. This is what I listened to for the majority of writing this.)

Top lists are a sort of fun exercise for me. They present a unique challenge: to sell an idea well but short enough so the full list is reasonable to read in an afternoon. They also allow me to flex my own creative muscles by talking about many topics and concepts all at once. One of my favorite parts about anime is writing and talking about it after all. So top lists let me do that all of that for a bunch of different shows all at once. Also they’re pretty interesting to compare to other critics who are much better than me and like, do this for a living. I find that when I compare top lists to each other, they tend to agree on what each individual show is doing, yet disagree on which is the best. But I digress.

Anyway, if you read last years’ post, thank you—the writing in it sucks compared to how I write now so I don’t blame you if you don’t read it. Secondly, I’m changing the format a bit: I’ll still do a top five list, but I also have a few anime that I’ll just call “notable.” To me they aren’t good enough to put in my top list, but have interesting ideas or execution that is worth talking about (also, some other people may believe that they are worth their top list, which is a discussion topic in and of itself). Then I’ll just list off the rest of the shows I watched this year and give them little cute bite-sized reviews. I’ll also give star ratings out of 5 to everything (2.5 is the “average show,” but I refuse to rate with a fraction). Now then, we have a lot to get through so let’s get cracking.

Top Five New Anime

As always, in airing order.

Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! (KonoSuba: God’s Blessing on This Wonderful World!)

Jan 14, 2016 to Mar 17, 2016; 10 episodes; Studio DEEN (btw is it Deen or DEEN? I can’t seem to find any consensus on this.)  

So like, think SAO, but not edgy. KonoSuba takes the inherent absurdity of the SAO premise and puts that at the forefront. It opts out of the darker concepts that most of these “stuck in another world” anime tend to take in favor of hilarity. This is mostly done by creating a world that is legitimately wonderful as opposed to fake-difficult. Which means that the ridiculous problems the protagonists have are not at all because the world sucks, it’s because they suck. Each of them are jerks or weirdos in their own way and how they play with each other and the world is a riot. The show also does lots of clever things with its videogame world like: how luck stats affects quest rewards, how one develops their own skill repertoire, how dying works—hell, the first episode uses a literal pause as a method of conveying the protagonist’s thoughts. It feels like a DnD campaign that went off the rails in the best possible way. Even the show’s weakness, the occasional moments of terrible or rushed animation, are leveraged into comedic beats. It’s only 10 episodes (and a fantastic OVA) and a sequel is coming out soon. It’s definitely worth the watch.

★★★★☆

I didn’t expect to ever put a DEEN show on this list.

Mother’s Basement did an OP analysis along with Re:Zero here.

Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia)

Apr 3, 2016 to Jun 26, 2016; 13 episodes; Bones

Many hero shows nowadays are trying to be a dark and intense, discussing themes of loss or the responsibilities of power. My Hero Academia handles hard concepts like that as well (especially in the most recent arc in the manga), but, first and foremost, it absolutely loves heroes. The original writer is a huge fan of old American comics and this show is a shonen recreation of the original Golden Age of superheroes. They explode onto the scene. They smile in the face of overwhelming odds. They always beat the villain and save the day. The best heroes are those that just want to be heroic and this show understands that. It’s world, like the author, loves heroes. The school loves heroes. The main character loves heroes. This incredibly positive view just emanates from the show and can be felt in every aspect. By far it’s biggest weakness is Bones seems a bit afraid to take risks: the fights a bit too true to the manga and the pace afraid of running out of material. But the character writing, the world building, the soundtrack are all top notch. A sequel is in the works and there’s also an OVA story that isn’t in the manga. An easy recommendation.

★★★★☆

One of my favorite critics, Nick Creamer, did a review on ANN. He also reads the manga and talks about it often on his blog, Wrong Every Time.

Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu (Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-)

Apr 4, 2016 to Sep 19, 2016; 25 episodes; White Fox

The opposite of KonoSuba—Re:Zero instead takes the SAO premise and makes it legitimately dark. It does this, not by making a main character whose defining character trait is “I’m cool,” but by crafting a world that is half high fantasy and half intangible, unceasing horror. The show leans on the uncertainty of being thrust into a new world and the agony of respawning again and again while talking to people who killed you as if they weren’t ticking time bombs. However, this story is not built to crush you. It carries heavy elements, not to present meaningless challenges to a blatantly overpowered protagonist (cough), but to push the protagonist to strive harder. In this way, it creates a relatable character. A character who we know is not strong and sometimes doubts himself, just like how we do when we face our own monsters. Then he faces his problems head on, sometimes by himself and sometimes with friends who don’t really understand the depth of his struggle. It says to the audience “this is not the end of your story” in a way that fills us with determination to reach our own happy endings. And that is a story worth telling.

★★★★★

This is probably the best story about being thrown into another world since…KonoSuba. 2016 was pretty good about this premise tbh, especially when you also consider Grimgar was released as well.

Mother’s Basement did an OP analysis along with Kono Suba here.

Flying Witch

Apr 10, 2016 to Jun 26, 2016; 12 episodes; J.C.Staff

Flying Witch doesn’t really have anything important to say. It doesn’t have a deep meaning like “one’s journey to personal peace” or “the intrinsic strength of the human spirit.” It’s just a slice of life story put in a casually magical setting. Like every good slice of life, episodes aren’t super related, and once you know all the characters you can watch it in basically any order. Some episodes don’t even show off any magic. All it does is carry a carefree lighthearted tone for 12 episodes. The show does this by establishing the world with many, many wide environment shots and then dropping so many quirky-cute characters whose interactions are so lovely and so charming that you just have to come back. In many ways, this show is K-on! except the captivating music scenes are replaced with equally stunning magical scenes. And I adore its sound design. Many of the most iconic tracks are reprises of its main theme at different tempos or with different instruments, creating a very cohesive experience throughout the series. In particular, its flying theme is gorgeous. Just like K-on!, it’s one of those shows that you watch on a rainy day and it will be just what you need. Flying Witch has quietly entered my personal favorites.

★★★★★

None of the critics I follow have made long articles about this anime. What this is telling me is I need to find more anime bloggers. Now taking suggestions.

Yuri!!! on Ice

Oct 6, 2016 to Dec 22, 2016; 12 episodes; MAPPA

To say this show was an endeavor would be selling it short. Yuri!!! on Ice tackles something like seven or eight parallel stories and relevant backstories of characters who all have different cultures and goals, and then it also has to explain enough about professional skating for you to actually care and understand the performances the show takes so much time to show and, if that wasn’t enough, it’s also LGBT. You have to give it to MAPPA for trying. The success of each of these aspects is middling, but, at the very least, it handles the stories of Yuuri, Yurio, and Victor fairly well. I’ve already touched on many of the techniques it uses to develop it’s expansive cast, but setting that aside, there is just a lot of show here. In order to communicate the number of ideas it tackles, the show presents everything full of purpose. Most scenes work overtime here and the resulting dialogue pops. Even the commercial break cuts are used effectively: they are foods that are native to the region that the cast is currently in which establishes a sense of place. At the same time, they’re food, so they refer back to the Yuuri’s in-joke about being a pork cutlet bowl and also maintain the lighthearted, happy tone of the show. Yuri!!! on Ice is efficient like that. It’s also one of those rare shows that sneaks into the public eye, so supporting it feels a tiny bit like supporting animation as a medium. But, before all that, it’s a story about a guy who follows his dream. That’s about as grand a story as anyone can tell.

★★★★☆

Notables 

Hai to Gensou no Grimgar (Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash)

Jan 11, 2016 to Mar 28, 2016; 12 episodes; A-1 Pictures

If you read just the premise, this show should suck. It’s just another one of those “stuck in another world” anime that come out every season. However, it has an interesting secondary hook: it’s actually a slice of life. Some of the most interesting portions of SAO and Log Horizon were how the videogame world interacted with the daily lives of the characters, so a show about this should be good, right? Unfortunately for Grimgar, it seems to be in the business of ruining it’s own emotional beats. The first episode is a good example of this: they open with a goblin hunting section that would be high tension, yet the animation struggles to provide the necessary impact. A training sequence occurs, but ends up paying too much attention to the instructor’s fanservice to offer anything meaningful. Then there’s a bit where the main crew gather round the campfire for some casual conversation which also stumbles because their topic of discussion is witch girl’s breasts. In fact, a lot of potential emotional hits snuff themselves out by becoming fanservice beats instead. A real shame. 

★★☆☆☆ 

Flip Flappers

Oct 6, 2016 to Dec 29, 2016; 13 episodes; Studio 3Hz

Well, I’ve already talked about how I feel about this show, but it just keeps popping up. To me, Flip Flappers comes across as trying too hard and losing focus and meaning as it tries to rationalize its own absurd world. It fails to explain bits and pieces, and, once you go down this rabbit hole, you have to hit everything. So we end up with this sort of half-done mess. However, people are still talking about it, so I think your assessment of Flip Flappers is a personal measurement of how much BS you can handle before you reject a plot idea. And the plot really is the “only” thing that grinded me about Flip Flappers. It had interesting characters, clever world building, and its ability to play with its animation style produced lots of great single episodes. It’s not a bad show, but it depends on what kind of person you are to tell if it’s a great show.

★★★☆☆

Short Answer Section

Ok, hopefully this goes by faster. 

Winter 2016

Prince of Stride: Alternative -  Madhouse does sports anime sounds like a good show. Unfortunately, this is less sports anime and more otome game. The parkour/running scenes are well animated (it’s Madhouse), but the character beats don’t work very well. All in all, ok. -  ★★☆☆☆

Musaigen no Phantom World - Flip Flappers but bad. How disappointing. -  ★☆☆☆☆ 

Sekkou Boys - Honestly? Not terrible. It’s a short, so attempting to put any sort of character development is kind of a crazy idea, but at least it was hilarious. -  ★★☆☆☆

ERASED -  2/3rds of a great show. The first 8-ish episodes are tightly written and well directed. The next 4 are…less so. At least for the writing part—the direction is still pretty good. ERASED fails to explain some character developments in ways that really make sense. This is similar to my problem with Flip Flappers, but, as ERASED is a mystery thriller, it is a much larger oversight. In short, the director once again proves himself much better than the works he has been given to adapt. -  ★★★☆☆

Zootopia - Disney does not suck, usually. Zootopia, in fact, is one of their better films. The setting is actually self-explanatory enough to work without too much info dumping, so it uses this kooky setting to tell a story that is relevant to our own world. Being a mystery/detective thriller, the plot is required to be more tight than Disney animated movies usually are and for the most part Zootopia delivers. It’s probably the best animated Disney movie this year. -  ★★★★☆

Spring 2016

Uchuu Patrol Luluco - Trigger at their Trigger-iest. Luluco actually manages to reference (“reference” aka “directly call out”) every single Trigger show in this short mini-series. It’s actually a really fun ride, in the same way that Gurren Lagann is, but because of how much it meanders it loses some of it’s punch. Still, I’d recommend it because honestly, at 13*6=74 minutes total running time, what have you got to lose? -  ★★★★☆ 

Gyakuten Saiban: Sono “Shinjitsu”, Igi Ari! (Ace Attorney) -  Ace Attorney shows us that some things are much better played than watched (like some other shows). But, all in all, it didn’t suck. It’s actually pretty good for people who don’t have the time to play the games. And I did get a lot of notes on that one post… - ★★☆☆☆

Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta?  -  For the most part, a generic harem anime except the archetypes are marginally more interesting and the secondary hook is unconventional (videogames as opposed to…super human high school. We live in a world where super human high school is more common than just videogame club). The fanservice is expected. The comedy is ok. Overall it’s just kinda eh.  -  ★★☆☆☆

Sakamoto desu ga? -  This show is actually just one joke repeated for twelve episodes. I mean it’s a pretty good joke; you could call this the slice of life One Punch Man. But I liked One Punch Man—I put it on the top list last year, so what’s wrong with this show? Well the strength of One Punch Man is not actually Saitama (haha), but rather the cast of side characters. Since Saitama is a static character, the development is shipped to everyone else so we get our character beats from them. Then, Saitama is used only for comedic beats. Sakamoto, on the other hand, fails to do this, and instead uses a rotating static character cast, so it has to rely entirely on comedy to compel you to watch. And, like I said, it’s just one joke repeated for twelve episodes. - ★★☆☆☆

Tanaka-kun wa Itsumo Kedaruge -  Like Sakamoto, Tanaka-kun is also just one joke, but it spends a bit more time developing the surrounding cast since that joke isn’t as potent. It’s slow pace reminds me a lot of Flying Witch, but it uses its characters more than its environment for the jokes. In fact, that’s probably the more important difference: there are more jokes. Flying Witch is content to let you stew in the world for a while, but Tanaka-kun feels pressured to hit you with another joke right after another. It’s not a bad show, but it’s a bit clumsy in its execution. - ★★★☆☆

Kiznaiver (2/12) -  I touched on this already, but Kiznaiver is an interesting enough topic to revisit. Often for character shows, a director will take one of two ways to show relationships: 1) understated gestures and close up camera angles on expressive body parts—this is the stance KyoAni and PA Works likes to take—or 2) metaphor as shorthand to character mindsets, anywhere from expressive skating performances to personal demons gone physical. Neither of these is really Trigger’s style, so for their own character story, Kiznaiver, they turn the relationships into an actual physical connection and then use force to move relationships. I still haven’t gotten around to finishing it, but it’s a clever workaround and very Trigger even if it’s not their usual director. I’m excited to see how it’s done. -  ★★★☆☆?

Finding Dory -  I…don’t remember much of it. Usually that means it’s just kind of ok. A “just kind of ok” Disney movie probably means it’s above average so let’s go with that. (I am a serious critic who seriously critiques things with seriousness.)  - ★★★☆☆?

I need to start writing shorter opinions or we’ll be here all day. 

Summer 2016

That scroll bar is getting pretty small…

Love Live! Sunshine!! (3/13) - Of the 3 episodes I’ve watched, this seems very much like “Love Live! 2, Love Liver!!” It still has this weird problem of taking itself too seriously (remember “I love school idols!” ?), but Sunrise is a roll here, given another iteration we might have a very good character comedy. - ★★★☆☆?

New Game! -  Aside from having the most adorable OP of 2016, this show isn’t really notable. Yeah, it’s cute, it’s Doga Kobo. Yeah, it’s funny, it’s Doga Kobo. There’s some fanservice, often leveraged into comedy a la Monogatari, but that’s kind of it. For the most part, this is Shirobako channeling K-on! which sounds amazing but ends up just being pretty ok. I wonder how much better it could be given a two cour season. -  ★★★☆☆

Taboo Tattoo (1/screw it) - I was coerced into watching one episode of this thing. It has like almost an interesting premise but every time they introduced another character I just got more disappointed. Please send help. - ☆☆☆☆☆

Amanchu! (1/12) - J.C.Staff has this weird artistic style that seems to change completely whenever they are making a joke. This works for some anime, but it’s not very subtle. In the case of Amanchu!, I think they needed to deliver it with a more softer style overall, but it’s not a deal breaker. I just haven’t gotten around to watching the rest. -  ★★☆☆☆?

Kono Bijutsubu ni wa Mondai ga Aru! (3/12) - Comedy anime about girls in art club falling in love with a dense otaku and surrounded by other quirky idiots is not a new concept. To be different, Konobi tries to provide more structure to its story, evident just from the first episode. Well, I’m only 3 episodes in but I’ve found the comedy weakens the plot and the plot weakens the comedy. Often with short seasons, it’s better to focus on only one aspect, as dividing your resources like this results in a mediocre show, but I still haven’t gotten that far. I’m hopeful. - ★★☆☆☆?

Fall 2016

WWW.Working!! (6/13) - It basically plays out like Working!! lite. WWW.Working!! was the original “rough draft” for the Working!! manga after all, so it kind of makes sense. It’s alright. Working!! is a stronger show overall and has a rare multi-season full adaptation, so, choosing only one, I’d choose Working!!. That was probably really confusing. - ★★★☆☆?

Shuumatsu no Izetta (2/12) - History drama meets magical girls. You know, maybe we should stop making so many “x + Magical girls” anime. It’s an interesting take and the direction it goes is pretty fun. Instead of following a WW2 titan, you follow a small country that needs the magical girl to keep themselves from getting totally destroyed. I’m not sure I’ll finish it, but if that’s your kind of vibe, Izetta is the show for you. - ★★☆☆☆?

Mahou Shoujo Ikusei Keikaku (1/12) - Continuing the theme of “x + Magical girls” anime, this one is Magical Girls meets Battle Royal. At least, that’s what it’s supposed to be. The pace is so incredibly slow that the little premise you read on MAL tells you the story past the first episode already. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to this one. - ★☆☆☆☆?

Cheating Craft (2/12) -  Calling this an Anime is kind of hazy but luckily this post is about more than just anime. The first episode is sort of a flashback type deal that explains the concept and the next episode is the first of what seems to be a series of tests. Instead of the subtle strategic type of show I expected, it’s actually just ok-ish action with poorly defined characters. So it’s been dropped. - ★☆☆☆☆?

Hibike! Euphonium 2 - I’ve talked about this so much you guys probably already know my stance on it. It’s hampered by the nature of adaptation as the Mizore-Nozomi arc could probably be removed. But the Asuka arc shows KyoAni has still got it. One of the best shows of the year. - ★★★★★

KEIJO!!!!!!!! - You know what’s interesting about this show? In story structure, it’s the most generic shonen ever. But the base premise is so absurd and so confident in itself that it carries pretty well. The absurdity even spreads to the title: all caps and eight exclamation points. This show knows what it’s about. - ★★★☆☆

Gi(a)rlish Number (2/12) - Oregairu is well written show. Gi(a)rlish Number is also a well written show. Thanks Wataru Watari. But because of how cynical they are, they’re really hard for me to watch. So I’ve only watched two episodes. Thanks Wataru Watari. I’m sure I’ll have lots of opinions about this so I’ll talk about it at a later time. - ★★★★☆?

Haikyuu!!: Karasuno Koukou VS Shiratorizawa Gakuen Koukou - Carrying from the momentum of the previous season, Haikyuu!! remains good. I think this is the weakest season so far in terms of emotional pay-off (probably because it’s, ya know, 10 episodes), but it’s still my favorite sports anime. Hopefully the next season isn’t too far away. - ★★★★☆

Moana - Compared to Zootopia, this Disney film is more hand-wavy with its plot. It’s not like the world is harder to build, one of them has demi-gods and another has talking animals, the world just isn’t as important for this type of story. On the flip side, it has arguably the best sound design of an animated feature in 2016. I enjoyed it, but all I ever think about with Disney princess films is how cool the Kingdom Hearts world is going to be. -★★★★☆

I’M DONE. 

Holy cow I didn’t realize how much stuff I watched last year. And I didn’t even finish a lot of shows I wanted to. 

Man. I hope one day I get paid to write about this stuff. 

Thanks as always for reading. Let me know if I missed something! 

[minigoblinnn]

Hello! Long Time No See

Hello everyone idk how many people will see this because I don’t have a lot of followers but that’s okay. HI! I haven’t used this account in almost three years I think. I’m pretty sure the last time I used this was possibly my freshman year of high school and I am now going to be a senior in September. So the world has kind of gone to shit recently but I had some soul searching while stuck in my house for over 3 months and realized that I needed to try to find what makes me happy. So bc we have all the time in the world rn bc 1. quarantine and 2. school is over, I thought I would try to revisit things that I used to love from freshman year and before. Yes I am 17 and I am no longer a hardcore stan like I was in middle school but it’s been a little refreshing trying to find myself again. If you’ve made it this far on this post thank you so much! This is more of a revamp of myself bc I realized over quarantine that I haven’t been truly happy in almost 3 years so whoops. 

Anyways this is gonna be sort of like a long rant but if you end up reading to the end I really appreciate it I hope I don’t bore you!

1. A major thing I had to come to terms with during quarantine was that I am indeed depressed. For the past 3 years I have been shoving down my inner struggles really deep within myself and never officially addressed it. As I’m sure many others who struggle with mental health have had to deal with the same difficulties of being stuck at home, it was a very shitty experience that I had to endure. I think a lot that attributed to it was the pressure of school and the rapid change of being in school one day to having a complete flip was also a major adjustment. As someone who has major control issues and hates very big change all at once this was very overwhelming for me as I’m sure it was for many of you. With this, I also realized I never prioritized myself before quarantine. I never talked about my struggles with friends and I was very irritable around late April/early May when it came to a specific friend. I previously had a major breakdown in school bc I was super anxious over losing this friendship back in February so that was also affecting my mental health extremely. Since my birthday in May, I have since slowly learned to prioritize myself and to face my struggles instead of avoiding the problem like I usually do. I now have a therapist that I talk to weekly over the phone and also with school ending it has released a lot of pressure that I had on me before. I still haven’t really discussed it all yet but I am the type that doesn’t like talking about me in that way or discussing myself in a vulnerable way but I hope I will slowly learn to improve on that. School wise, let’s just say the 4th marking period was an extremely ugly one. My sleep is something that is on and off. I am constantly exhausted but I cannot sleep so I’m trying different methods to try to fix my sleep but that is a uphill battle. I am currently writing this at 4:39 am so if that gives you any indication there you go.

2. Since there hasn’t been anything else to do and I don’t have my license yet, I have been getting back into things I used to enjoy freshman year and prior as I stated above. On my journey of trying to find any ounce of happiness again, I have been re-watching and revisiting things I used to “fangirl” over such as tv shows, youtubers, etc. 

Shows I have re-visitied include: The Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, Reign, Avatar: The Last Airbender, I finally watched Shadowhunters all the way through and not just the first season

Youtubers: Maddi Bragg (she recently rejoined youtube so...), I also have re-watched Dan and Phil Games, specifically the sims series bc I used to love it. 

And bc I re-watched Shadowhunters I re-watched the Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones movie that is on Netflix and before I get bashed I used to love that movie bc I personally think it is more of what I envisioned of what the books come to life would look like minus the ending...I also really like Jamie Campbell Bower and Lily Collins so personal bias but Malec on the tv show are immaculate. Controversial topic I know. And just earlier last night ig I finished reading City of Bones and I’m gonna re-read the entire TMI series and re-read/finish TID series. 

3. Along with revisiting things I have sort of slowly reinvented myself ig. I cut my hair right after my birthday so before it was about right past my chest and I cut it to roughly above my shoulders and I re-dyed my hair black bc I cannot be a ginger. My music taste has also slightly put more alt music and indie groups. Everyday I find new bands such as Meet me @ the altar, 100 gecs, and I recently got into $uicideBoy$...but honestly I get good music recommendations from tiktok so ofc. Also with the current climate in the US I have been a lot more outspoken when it comes to politics and my activism. I have a pretty conservative republican father who listens to fox news for however long I can remember. And after the 2016 election, I never really tried to argue/debate my father about Trump and everything but I also was not super informed in politics. But now I am absolutely never silence. I have gotten in plenty of arguments mostly with my mother about my activism. I have also gotten into painting political statement paintings after I painted my BLM protests signs. I have put these paintings around my room but my mom does not like them but I don’t care. So I am definitely wayyyyy more vocal when it comes to social issues and politics and I am not afraid to back down. I think before I didn’t speak up bc I didn’t want to argue with my father bc he would shut me down immediately when I tried to say anything against trump. But now I don’t care. Bc everything he stands for goes against me and my existence so I will not be silent as much as my parents want to. They don’t understand that I have always had these opinions, I just never expressed them as much until now bc I didn’t know how to properly express it. That I am super proud of.

4. Another thing I sort of realized ig was that I can now fully say I am definitely pansexual. Bro even typing that is like wow. Okay okay back story. So freshman year I told my two best friends at the time that I believed I was pan bc I’ve always thought that but I was never comfortable enough to say I was apart of the lgbtq+ community bc idk I just don’t feel like I have a right to? Bc after freshman year I slowly moved to other best friends and with them and my family I have always referenced to only being interested in men and ig I instilled this norm that I could only talk about liking men in front of them and my friends so I never felt comfortable addressing it. I still always had that thought in my head and especially in recent months I have been turned off from guys in general besides maybe 4, all who are actors or Kurtis Conner lowkey. So I’m not really looking to date anytime soon so it doesn’t really matter but I just don’t see me dating a guy. I think about it for about 2 seconds and then I snap back to reality. But yeah I made a pan flag painting and put it in my room and my parents have no idea what it is so they won’t even question me. But I don’t feel comfortable addressing it to my friends or my family, oh definitely not. I’ve put it on my second tiktok account but I don’t let my best friends ig see it so yeah i will probably never tell them until college. I’m sure most of them won’t care but again, I never really addressed personal things about myself with them unless it’s like my depression where I couldn’t hide it anymore but anyways that’s just how I am.

So things I’ve learned since being stuck at home for 3 months: I’m depressed, I’m pan, I’m a leftist/left-leaning, and I will no longer just say I will beat someone up but I will actually do it not that I haven’t already but that’s not important. But anyways, idk how often I will use this but this is an update. I might delete some old posts based on me now and everything but yeah I will hopefully use this to update on the things I revisit! Hope everyone is doing mostly well! If you read all of this thank you thank you thank you! Sending virtual hugs and kisses!

sorry for any errors, I recently put on these long acrylics and I’m using my laptop and I haven’t had long nails in a while so bear with me :)

[thesnhuup]

Pop Picks — May 19, 2019

May 19, 2019

What I’m listening to: 

I usually go to music here, but I was really moved by this podcast of a Davis Brooks talk at the Commonwealth Club in Silicon Valley: https://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/archive/podcast/david-brooks-quest-moral-life.  While I have long found myself distant from his political stance, he has come through a dark night of the soul and emerged with a wonderful clarity about calling, community, and not happiness (that most superficial of goals), but fulfillment and meaning, found in community and human kinship of many kinds. I immediately sent it to my kids.

What I’m reading: 

Susan Orlean’s wonderful The Library Book, a love song to libraries told through the story of the LA Central Library.  It brought back cherished memories of my many hours in beloved libraries — as a kid in the Waltham Public Library, a high schooler in the Farber Library at Brandeis (Lil Farber years later became a mentor of mine), and the cathedral-like Bapst Library at BC when I was a graduate student. Yes, I was a nerd. This is a love song to books certainly, but a reminder that libraries are so, so much more.  It is a reminder that libraries are less about a place or being a repository of information and, like America at its best, an idea and ideal. By the way, oh to write like her.

What I’m watching: 

What else? Game of Thrones, like any sensible human being. This last season is disappointing in many ways and the drop off in the writing post George R.R. Martin is as clear as was the drop off in the post-Sorkin West Wing. I would be willing to bet that if Martin has been writing the last season, Sansa and Tyrion would have committed suicide in the crypt. That said, we fans are deeply invested and even the flaws are giving us so much to discuss and debate. In that sense, the real gift of this last season is the enjoyment between episodes, like the old pre-streaming days when we all arrived at work after the latest episode of the Sopranos to discuss what we had all seen the night before. I will say this, the last two episodes — full of battle and gore – have been visually stunning. Whether the torches of the Dothraki being extinguished in the distance or Arya riding through rubble and flame on a white horse, rarely has the series ascended to such visual grandeur.

Archive 

March 28, 2019

What I’m listening to: 

There is a lovely piece played in a scene from A Place Called Home that I tracked down. It’s Erik Satie’s 3 Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1, played by the wonderful pianist Klára Körmendi. Satie composed this piece in 1888 and it was considered avant-garde and anti-Romantic. It’s minimalism and bit of dissonance sound fresh and contemporary to my ears and while not a huge Classical music fan, I’ve fallen in love with the Körmendi playlist on Spotify. When you need an alternative to hours of Cardi B.

What I’m reading: 

Just finished Esi Edugyan’s 2018 novel Washington Black. Starting on a slave plantation in Barbados, it is a picaresque novel that has elements of Jules Verne, Moby Dick, Frankenstein, and Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad. Yes, it strains credulity and there are moments of “huh?”, but I loved it (disclosure: I was in the minority among my fellow book club members) and the first third is a searing depiction of slavery. It’s audacious, sprawling (from Barbados to the Arctic to London to Africa), and the writing, especially about nature, luminous. 

What I’m watching: 

A soap opera. Yes, I’d like to pretend it’s something else, but we are 31 episodes into the Australian drama A Place Called Home and we are so, so addicted. Like “It’s  AM, but can’t we watch just one more episode?” addicted. Despite all the secrets, cliff hangers, intrigue, and “did that just happen?” moments, the core ingredients of any good soap opera, APCH has superb acting, real heft in terms of subject matter (including homophobia, anti-Semitism, sexual assault, and class), touches of our beloved Downton Abbey, and great cars. Beware. If you start, you won’t stop.

February 11, 2019

What I’m listening to:

Raphael Saadiq has been around for quite a while, as a musician, writer, and producer. He’s new to me and I love his old school R&B sound. Like Leon Bridges, he brings a contemporary freshness to the genre, sounding like a young Stevie Wonder (listen to “You’re The One That I Like”). Rock and Roll may be largely dead, but R&B persists – maybe because the former was derivative of the latter and never as good (and I say that as a Rock and Roll fan). I’m embarrassed to only have discovered Saadiq so late in his career, but it’s a delight to have done so.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Marilynne Robinson’s Home, part of her trilogy that includes the Pulitzer Prize winning first novel, Gilead, and the book after Home, Lila. Robinson is often described as a Christian writer, but not in a conventional sense. In this case, she gives us a modern version of the prodigal son and tells the story of what comes after he is welcomed back home. It’s not pretty. Robinson is a self-described Calvinist, thus character begets fate in Robinson’s world view and redemption is at best a question. There is something of Faulkner in her work (I am much taken with his famous “The past is never past” quote after a week in the deep South), her style is masterful, and like Faulkner, she builds with these three novels a whole universe in the small town of Gilead. Start with Gilead to better enjoy Home.

What I’m watching:

Sex Education was the most fun series we’ve seen in ages and we binged watched it on Netflix. A British homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink, it feels like a mash up of American and British high schools. Focusing on the relationship of Maeve, the smart bad girl, and Otis, the virginal and awkward son of a sex therapist (played with brilliance by Gillian Anderson), it is laugh aloud funny and also evolves into more substance and depth (the abortion episode is genius). The sex scenes are somehow raunchy and charming and inoffensive at the same time and while ostensibly about teenagers (it feels like it is explaining contemporary teens to adults in many ways), the adults are compelling in their good and bad ways. It has been renewed for a second season, which is a gift.

January 3, 2019

What I’m listening to:

My listening choices usually refer to music, but this time I’m going with Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast on genius and the song Hallelujah. It tells the story of Leonard Cohen’s much-covered song Hallelujah and uses it as a lens on kinds of genius and creativity. Along the way, he brings in Picasso and Cézanne, Elvis Costello, and more. Gladwell is a good storyteller and if you love pop music, as I do, and Hallelujah, as I do (and you should), you’ll enjoy this podcast. We tend to celebrate the genius who seems inspired in the moment, creating new work like lightning strikes, but this podcast has me appreciating incremental creativity in a new way. It’s compelling and fun at the same time.

What I’m reading:

Just read Clay Christensen’s new book, The Prosperity Paradox: How Innovation Can Lift Nations Out of Poverty. This was an advance copy, so soon available. Clay is an old friend and a huge influence on how we have grown SNHU and our approach to innovation. This book is so compelling, because we know attempts at development have so often been a failure and it is often puzzling to understand why some countries with desperate poverty and huge challenges somehow come to thrive (think S. Korea, Singapore, 19th C. America), while others languish. Clay offers a fresh way of thinking about development through the lens of his research on innovation and it is compelling. I bet this book gets a lot of attention, as most of his work does. I also suspect that many in the development community will hate it, as it calls into question the approach and enormous investments we have made in an attempt to lift countries out of poverty. A provocative read and, as always, Clay is a good storyteller.

What I’m watching:

Just watched Leave No Trace and should have guessed that it was directed by Debra Granik. She did Winter’s Bone, the extraordinary movie that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career. Similarly, this movie features an amazing young actor, Thomasin McKenzie, and visits lives lived on the margins. In this case, a veteran suffering PTSD, and his 13-year-old daughter. The movie is patient, is visually lush, and justly earned 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (I have a rule to never watch anything under 82%). Everything in this film is under control and beautifully understated (aside from the visuals) – confident acting, confident directing, and so humane. I love the lack of flashbacks, the lack of sensationalism – the movie trusts the viewer, rare in this age of bombast. A lovely film.

December 4, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spending a week in New Zealand, we had endless laughs listening to the Kiwi band, Flight of the Conchords. Lots of comedic bands are funny, but the music is only okay or worse. These guys are funny – hysterical really – and the music is great. They have an uncanny ability to parody almost any style. In both New Zealand and Australia, we found a wry sense of humor that was just delightful and no better captured than with this duo. You don’t have to be in New Zealand to enjoy them.

What I’m reading:

I don’t often reread. For two reasons: A) I have so many books on my “still to be read” pile that it seems daunting to also rereadbooks I loved before, and B) it’s because I loved them once that I’m a little afraid to read them again. That said, I was recently asked to list my favorite book of all time and I answered Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. But I don’t really know if that’s still true (and it’s an impossible question anyway – favorite book? On what day? In what mood?), so I’m rereading it and it feels like being with an old friend. It has one of my very favorite scenes ever: the card game between Levin and Kitty that leads to the proposal and his joyous walking the streets all night.

What I’m watching:

Blindspotting is billed as a buddy-comedy. Wow does that undersell it and the drama is often gripping. I loved Daveed Diggs in Hamilton, didn’t like his character in Black-ish, and think he is transcendent in this film he co-wrote with Rafael Casal, his co-star.  The film is a love song to Oakland in many ways, but also a gut-wrenching indictment of police brutality, systemic racism and bias, and gentrification. The film has the freshness and raw visceral impact of Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. A great soundtrack, genre mixing, and energy make it one of my favorite movies of 2018.

October 15, 2018 

What I’m listening to:

We had the opportunity to see our favorite band, The National, live in Dallas two weeks ago. Just after watching Mistaken for Strangers, the documentary sort of about the band. So we’ve spent a lot of time going back into their earlier work, listening to songs we don’t know well, and reaffirming that their musicality, smarts, and sound are both original and astoundingly good. They did not disappoint in concert and it is a good thing their tour ended, as we might just spend all of our time and money following them around. Matt Berninger is a genius and his lead vocals kill me (and because they are in my range, I can actually sing along!). Their arrangements are profoundly good and go right to whatever brain/heart wiring that pulls one in and doesn’t let them go.

What I’m reading:

Who is Richard Powers and why have I only discovered him now, with his 12th book? Overstory is profoundly good, a book that is essential and powerful and makes me look at my everyday world in new ways. In short, a dizzying example of how powerful can be narrative in the hands of a master storyteller. I hesitate to say it’s the best environmental novel I’ve ever read (it is), because that would put this book in a category. It is surely about the natural world, but it is as much about we humans. It’s monumental and elegiac and wondrous at all once. Cancel your day’s schedule and read it now. Then plant a tree. A lot of them.

What I’m watching:

Bo Burnham wrote and directed Eighth Grade and Elsie Fisher is nothing less than amazing as its star (what’s with these new child actors; see Florida Project). It’s funny and painful and touching. It’s also the single best film treatment that I have seen of what it means to grow up in a social media shaped world. It’s a reminder that growing up is hard. Maybe harder now in a world of relentless, layered digital pressure to curate perfect lives that are far removed from the natural messy worlds and selves we actually inhabit. It’s a well-deserved 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I wonder who dinged it for the missing 2%.

September 7, 2018

What I’m listening to:

With a cover pointing back to the Beastie Boys’ 1986 Licensed to Ill, Eminem’s quietly released Kamikaze is not my usual taste, but I’ve always admired him for his “all out there” willingness to be personal, to call people out, and his sheer genius with language. I thought Daveed Diggs could rap fast, but Eminem is supersonic at moments, and still finds room for melody. Love that he includes Joyner Lucas, whose “I’m Not Racist” gets added to the growing list of simply amazing music videos commenting on race in America. There are endless reasons why I am the least likely Eminem fan, but when no one is around to make fun of me, I’ll put it on again.

What I’m reading:

Lesley Blume’s Everyone Behaves Badly, which is the story behind Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and his time in 1920s Paris (oh, what a time – see Midnight in Paris if you haven’t already). Of course, Blume disabuses my romantic ideas of that time and place and everyone is sort of (or profoundly so) a jerk, especially…no spoiler here…Hemingway. That said, it is a compelling read and coming off the Henry James inspired prose of Mrs. Osmond, it made me appreciate more how groundbreaking was Hemingway’s modern prose style. Like his contemporary Picasso, he reinvented the art and it can be easy to forget, these decades later, how profound was the change and its impact. And it has bullfights.

What I’m watching:

Chloé Zhao’s The Rider is just exceptional. It’s filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation, which provides a stunning landscape, and it feels like a classic western reinvented for our times. The main characters are played by the real-life people who inspired this narrative (but feels like a documentary) film. Brady Jandreau, playing himself really, owns the screen. It’s about manhood, honor codes, loss, and resilience – rendered in sensitive, nuanced, and heartfelt ways. It feels like it could be about large swaths of America today. Really powerful.

August 16, 2018

What I’m listening to:

In my Spotify Daily Mix was Percy Sledge’s When A Man Loves A Woman, one of the world’s greatest love songs. Go online and read the story of how the song was discovered and recorded. There are competing accounts, but Sledge said he improvised it after a bad breakup. It has that kind of aching spontaneity. It is another hit from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, one of the GREAT music hotbeds, along with Detroit, Nashville, and Memphis. Our February Board meeting is in Alabama and I may finally have to do the pilgrimage road trip to Muscle Shoals and then Memphis, dropping in for Sunday services at the church where Rev. Al Green still preaches and sings. If the music is all like this, I will be saved.

What I’m reading:

John Banville’s Mrs. Osmond, his homage to literary idol Henry James and an imagined sequel to James’ 1881 masterpiece Portrait of a Lady. Go online and read the first paragraph of Chapter 25. He is…profoundly good. Makes me want to never write again, since anything I attempt will feel like some other, lowly activity in comparison to his mastery of language, image, syntax. This is slow reading, every sentence to be savored.

What I’m watching:

I’ve always respected Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but we just watched the documentary RGB. It is over-the-top great and she is now one of my heroes. A superwoman in many ways and the documentary is really well done. There are lots of scenes of her speaking to crowds and the way young women, especially law students, look at her is touching.  And you can’t help but fall in love with her now late husband Marty. See this movie and be reminded of how important is the Law.

July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia.  It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan.  Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news. 

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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[oovitus]

Weekend Reading, 1.28.18

First, a heartfelt thank you for the kind, supportive words about Power Plates this week. I’m so grateful for them, and to those of you who have been cooking and sharing on Instagram, I can’t tell you how much joy it gives me to see the recipes take life in other peoples’ kitchens.

It’s been interesting to observe the feelings that have come up since the book came out. I felt a little jittery before the release, which is probably normal, but the flow of support I’ve received in the last few days has brought up some different and interesting fears. Specifically, it has invited me to think about my relationship with abundance and celebration—with letting goodness flow.

This brings to mind a broader internal dialog I’ve been having lately about my relationship with hope and gladness. I’ve noticed that it’s often easier for me to write or speak up about strife than it is for me to articulate things I’m happy or expectant about. It’s not that I don’t welcome good things with open arms; I do. I try to, anyway. It’s just that receiving them is a process complicated by fear, which of course seems unreasonable or even ungrateful when I write it down.

I think it’s fear of a loss, of becoming attached to goodness or love lest they slip away or change shape. I tend to develop outsized expectations and hopes easily, which leaves me vulnerable to equally outsized disappointment. I wonder if this tendency is rooted in childhood, when my wants and desires were often problematized if they didn’t align with what those around me wanted or liked for me. I learned to become protective of my hopes, to hold them closely and privately, which may have been fertile ground for my amplifying them too much.

I’ve spent much of the last year learning to focus in on the present, on small pleasures and daily rituals, to stop grasping at lofty goals or expectations. I’ve recognized the ways in which grandiosity crept into my thinking in the past and to soften this tendency. I’ve found a humbler and more grounded way of being.

Still, I don’t want to let go of hope, or excitement, or the capacity to visualize a bright future. What I want is to develop hopes that are tempered by the ability to be open-minded and flexible and un-clingy, so that when and if things do change—or turn out differently than I’d hoped for—I can adapt.

I’m very far from knowing what all of this will feel or look like, but I’m trying to cultivate the balance in small ways. My therapist encouraged me recently to share positive events or small hopes with friends more often than I do, and I’m trying that, even when I’m nervous about jinxing things by verbalizing them. I’m trying not to catastrophize loss or the unexpected, trusting that when one thing doesn’t materialize, something different will.

Most of all, I’m making a promise to myself that I’ll accept and receive sweetness without questioning it or darkly imagining its disappearance (which makes me think back to this post, right before the new year). Anything less is such a shame—such a lost opportunity to savor being alive. In the last few days I’ve been doing more gratitude journaling than usual and stopping very often to savor the good stuff.

If any of you has a practice or source of inspiration in the realm of accepting happiness without fear, or a tempered experience of hope, I welcome sharing. In the meantime, here’s something that stuck with me.

I recently asked my mom about her own experience of hope. Like my late grandmother, my mom has a profoundly optimistic outlook on life, which doesn’t prevent her from acknowledging hardship honestly. When I asked her how she maintains this perspective without tending toward attachment (or retreating into discouragement when hardship strikes), she said, “I wake up each day, and there’s the sun and the air, and I’m alive. I’m alive.”

There are certain things loved ones say to us that we know right away will always be with us. For me, my mom’s bright-eyed, animated utterance of “I’m alive“—her capacity to practice hope through the simple fact of being present at the start of a new day—is one of them.

Wishing you all a bright start to a fresh week. And I hope you’ll enjoy the recipe roundup and reads.

Recipes

First, Kimberly’s easy vegan cauliflower curry is a perfect, flavor-packed meal for a weeknight schedule. I love the crunchy cashew garnish, too.

Comfort food cravings? Jess’ hearty lentil bolognese, which features umami-packed mushrooms along with the lentils, is winter dream-come-true food.

Traci always has the most wonderful sandwich ideas (seriously), and I’m loving her latest, which is a mashup of sweet roasted beets and tangy sauerkraut, and grainy mustard. Yum!

I use barley all the time in salads and pilafs, but I love the idea of piling it on top of a hummus for a textured dip. Sasha also adds roasted squash wedges and pomegranate seeds to this colorful creation.

Finally, Emily’s black bean sweet potato grain bowls with herbed tahini dressing is exactly the kind of balanced, nourishing meal I love. Can’t wait to make it soon.

Reads

1. This is a short video—almost a fragment, especially given all of the long-form stuff on Aeon—but I was so touched by it. A nine-year-old boy recalls taking in a wounded bird, illustrating what it’s like to learn the art of letting go.

2. It’s so important to ensure that teens get enough Vitamin D in their diets as their bone matrix develops. This article reports on the potential injury hazards of D deficiency in high school athletes. I’ve seen similar coverage of the deficiency among track runners, but this is the first I’ve seen that pertains to football players, and I’m glad it’s out there.

3. Katie Hawkins-Gaar shares open, brave reflections on how the loss of her spouse actually helped her to heal from sometimes crippling anxiety and to embrace life in a new way.

4. An interesting Q&A with neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, whose most recent book is called The Strange Order of Things. It explores the intersection of mind, feeling, and body, and while I haven’t read it yet, the interview has me intrigued.

I Damasio’s thoughts on what love is for, from a neurological perspective: “[t]o protect, to cause flourishing, to give and receive pleasure, to procreate, to soothe. Endless great uses, as you can see.”

5. I know I don’t usually link to audios or podcasts, but I’m really interested in Frank Ostaseski’s work, and I so enjoyed Vox’s recent conversation with him. Ostaseski runs a Buddhist hospice in San Francisco, and he has rich and interesting thoughts on what death can teach the living.

On the cooking agenda for this week is a savory, one-skillet meal featuring seitan, bulgur, and what I hope will be a flavorful mix of seasonings. I’m trying it out tomorrow, and if all goes well, I’m excited to share. Happy Sunday.

xo

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[thesnhuup]

Pop Picks – March 28, 2019

March 28, 2019

What I’m listening to: 

There is a lovely piece played in a scene from A Place Called Home that I tracked down. It’s Erik Satie’s 3 Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1, played by the wonderful pianist Klára Körmendi. Satie composed this piece in 1888 and it was considered avant-garde and anti-Romantic. It’s minimalism and bit of dissonance sound fresh and contemporary to my ears and while not a huge Classical music fan, I’ve fallen in love with the Körmendi playlist on Spotify. When you need an alternative to hours of Cardi B.

 What I’m reading: 

Just finished Esi Edugyan’s 2018 novel Washington Black. Starting on a slave plantation in Barbados, it is a picaresque novel that has elements of Jules Verne, Moby Dick, Frankenstein, and Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad. Yes, it strains credulity and there are moments of “huh?”, but I loved it (disclosure: I was in the minority among my fellow book club members) and the first third is a searing depiction of slavery. It’s audacious, sprawling (from Barbados to the Arctic to London to Africa), and the writing, especially about nature, luminous. 

What I’m watching: 

A soap opera. Yes, I’d like to pretend it’s something else, but we are 31 episodes into the Australian drama A Place Called Home and we are so, so addicted. Like “It’s  AM, but can’t we watch just one more episode?” addicted. Despite all the secrets, cliff hangers, intrigue, and “did that just happen?” moments, the core ingredients of any good soap opera, APCH has superb acting, real heft in terms of subject matter (including homophobia, anti-Semitism, sexual assault, and class), touches of our beloved Downton Abbey, and great cars. Beware. If you start, you won’t stop.

Archive 

February 11, 2019

What I’m listening to:

Raphael Saadiq has been around for quite a while, as a musician, writer, and producer. He’s new to me and I love his old school R&B sound. Like Leon Bridges, he brings a contemporary freshness to the genre, sounding like a young Stevie Wonder (listen to “You’re The One That I Like”). Rock and Roll may be largely dead, but R&B persists – maybe because the former was derivative of the latter and never as good (and I say that as a Rock and Roll fan). I’m embarrassed to only have discovered Saadiq so late in his career, but it’s a delight to have done so.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Marilynne Robinson’s Home, part of her trilogy that includes the Pulitzer Prize winning first novel, Gilead, and the book after Home, Lila. Robinson is often described as a Christian writer, but not in a conventional sense. In this case, she gives us a modern version of the prodigal son and tells the story of what comes after he is welcomed back home. It’s not pretty. Robinson is a self-described Calvinist, thus character begets fate in Robinson’s world view and redemption is at best a question. There is something of Faulkner in her work (I am much taken with his famous “The past is never past” quote after a week in the deep South), her style is masterful, and like Faulkner, she builds with these three novels a whole universe in the small town of Gilead. Start with Gilead to better enjoy Home.

What I’m watching:

Sex Education was the most fun series we’ve seen in ages and we binged watched it on Netflix. A British homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink, it feels like a mash up of American and British high schools. Focusing on the relationship of Maeve, the smart bad girl, and Otis, the virginal and awkward son of a sex therapist (played with brilliance by Gillian Anderson), it is laugh aloud funny and also evolves into more substance and depth (the abortion episode is genius). The sex scenes are somehow raunchy and charming and inoffensive at the same time and while ostensibly about teenagers (it feels like it is explaining contemporary teens to adults in many ways), the adults are compelling in their good and bad ways. It has been renewed for a second season, which is a gift.

January 3, 2019

What I’m listening to:

My listening choices usually refer to music, but this time I’m going with Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast on genius and the song Hallelujah. It tells the story of Leonard Cohen’s much-covered song Hallelujah and uses it as a lens on kinds of genius and creativity. Along the way, he brings in Picasso and Cézanne, Elvis Costello, and more. Gladwell is a good storyteller and if you love pop music, as I do, and Hallelujah, as I do (and you should), you’ll enjoy this podcast. We tend to celebrate the genius who seems inspired in the moment, creating new work like lightning strikes, but this podcast has me appreciating incremental creativity in a new way. It’s compelling and fun at the same time.

What I’m reading:

Just read Clay Christensen’s new book, The Prosperity Paradox: How Innovation Can Lift Nations Out of Poverty. This was an advance copy, so soon available. Clay is an old friend and a huge influence on how we have grown SNHU and our approach to innovation. This book is so compelling, because we know attempts at development have so often been a failure and it is often puzzling to understand why some countries with desperate poverty and huge challenges somehow come to thrive (think S. Korea, Singapore, 19th C. America), while others languish. Clay offers a fresh way of thinking about development through the lens of his research on innovation and it is compelling. I bet this book gets a lot of attention, as most of his work does. I also suspect that many in the development community will hate it, as it calls into question the approach and enormous investments we have made in an attempt to lift countries out of poverty. A provocative read and, as always, Clay is a good storyteller.

What I’m watching:

Just watched Leave No Trace and should have guessed that it was directed by Debra Granik. She did Winter’s Bone, the extraordinary movie that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career. Similarly, this movie features an amazing young actor, Thomasin McKenzie, and visits lives lived on the margins. In this case, a veteran suffering PTSD, and his 13-year-old daughter. The movie is patient, is visually lush, and justly earned 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (I have a rule to never watch anything under 82%). Everything in this film is under control and beautifully understated (aside from the visuals) – confident acting, confident directing, and so humane. I love the lack of flashbacks, the lack of sensationalism – the movie trusts the viewer, rare in this age of bombast. A lovely film.

December 4, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spending a week in New Zealand, we had endless laughs listening to the Kiwi band, Flight of the Conchords. Lots of comedic bands are funny, but the music is only okay or worse. These guys are funny – hysterical really – and the music is great. They have an uncanny ability to parody almost any style. In both New Zealand and Australia, we found a wry sense of humor that was just delightful and no better captured than with this duo. You don’t have to be in New Zealand to enjoy them.

What I’m reading:

I don’t often reread. For two reasons: A) I have so many books on my “still to be read” pile that it seems daunting to also rereadbooks I loved before, and B) it’s because I loved them once that I’m a little afraid to read them again. That said, I was recently asked to list my favorite book of all time and I answered Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. But I don’t really know if that’s still true (and it’s an impossible question anyway – favorite book? On what day? In what mood?), so I’m rereading it and it feels like being with an old friend. It has one of my very favorite scenes ever: the card game between Levin and Kitty that leads to the proposal and his joyous walking the streets all night.

What I’m watching:

Blindspotting is billed as a buddy-comedy. Wow does that undersell it and the drama is often gripping. I loved Daveed Diggs in Hamilton, didn’t like his character in Black-ish, and think he is transcendent in this film he co-wrote with Rafael Casal, his co-star.  The film is a love song to Oakland in many ways, but also a gut-wrenching indictment of police brutality, systemic racism and bias, and gentrification. The film has the freshness and raw visceral impact of Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. A great soundtrack, genre mixing, and energy make it one of my favorite movies of 2018.

October 15, 2018 

What I’m listening to:

We had the opportunity to see our favorite band, The National, live in Dallas two weeks ago. Just after watching Mistaken for Strangers, the documentary sort of about the band. So we’ve spent a lot of time going back into their earlier work, listening to songs we don’t know well, and reaffirming that their musicality, smarts, and sound are both original and astoundingly good. They did not disappoint in concert and it is a good thing their tour ended, as we might just spend all of our time and money following them around. Matt Berninger is a genius and his lead vocals kill me (and because they are in my range, I can actually sing along!). Their arrangements are profoundly good and go right to whatever brain/heart wiring that pulls one in and doesn’t let them go.

What I’m reading:

Who is Richard Powers and why have I only discovered him now, with his 12th book? Overstory is profoundly good, a book that is essential and powerful and makes me look at my everyday world in new ways. In short, a dizzying example of how powerful can be narrative in the hands of a master storyteller. I hesitate to say it’s the best environmental novel I’ve ever read (it is), because that would put this book in a category. It is surely about the natural world, but it is as much about we humans. It’s monumental and elegiac and wondrous at all once. Cancel your day’s schedule and read it now. Then plant a tree. A lot of them.

What I’m watching:

Bo Burnham wrote and directed Eighth Grade and Elsie Fisher is nothing less than amazing as its star (what’s with these new child actors; see Florida Project). It’s funny and painful and touching. It’s also the single best film treatment that I have seen of what it means to grow up in a social media shaped world. It’s a reminder that growing up is hard. Maybe harder now in a world of relentless, layered digital pressure to curate perfect lives that are far removed from the natural messy worlds and selves we actually inhabit. It’s a well-deserved 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I wonder who dinged it for the missing 2%.

September 7, 2018

What I’m listening to:

With a cover pointing back to the Beastie Boys’ 1986 Licensed to Ill, Eminem’s quietly released Kamikaze is not my usual taste, but I’ve always admired him for his “all out there” willingness to be personal, to call people out, and his sheer genius with language. I thought Daveed Diggs could rap fast, but Eminem is supersonic at moments, and still finds room for melody. Love that he includes Joyner Lucas, whose “I’m Not Racist” gets added to the growing list of simply amazing music videos commenting on race in America. There are endless reasons why I am the least likely Eminem fan, but when no one is around to make fun of me, I’ll put it on again.

What I’m reading:

Lesley Blume’s Everyone Behaves Badly, which is the story behind Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and his time in 1920s Paris (oh, what a time – see Midnight in Paris if you haven’t already). Of course, Blume disabuses my romantic ideas of that time and place and everyone is sort of (or profoundly so) a jerk, especially…no spoiler here…Hemingway. That said, it is a compelling read and coming off the Henry James inspired prose of Mrs. Osmond, it made me appreciate more how groundbreaking was Hemingway’s modern prose style. Like his contemporary Picasso, he reinvented the art and it can be easy to forget, these decades later, how profound was the change and its impact. And it has bullfights.

What I’m watching:

Chloé Zhao’s The Rider is just exceptional. It’s filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation, which provides a stunning landscape, and it feels like a classic western reinvented for our times. The main characters are played by the real-life people who inspired this narrative (but feels like a documentary) film. Brady Jandreau, playing himself really, owns the screen. It’s about manhood, honor codes, loss, and resilience – rendered in sensitive, nuanced, and heartfelt ways. It feels like it could be about large swaths of America today. Really powerful.

August 16, 2018

What I’m listening to:

In my Spotify Daily Mix was Percy Sledge’s When A Man Loves A Woman, one of the world’s greatest love songs. Go online and read the story of how the song was discovered and recorded. There are competing accounts, but Sledge said he improvised it after a bad breakup. It has that kind of aching spontaneity. It is another hit from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, one of the GREAT music hotbeds, along with Detroit, Nashville, and Memphis. Our February Board meeting is in Alabama and I may finally have to do the pilgrimage road trip to Muscle Shoals and then Memphis, dropping in for Sunday services at the church where Rev. Al Green still preaches and sings. If the music is all like this, I will be saved.

What I’m reading:

John Banville’s Mrs. Osmond, his homage to literary idol Henry James and an imagined sequel to James’ 1881 masterpiece Portrait of a Lady. Go online and read the first paragraph of Chapter 25. He is…profoundly good. Makes me want to never write again, since anything I attempt will feel like some other, lowly activity in comparison to his mastery of language, image, syntax. This is slow reading, every sentence to be savored.

What I’m watching:

I’ve always respected Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but we just watched the documentary RGB. It is over-the-top great and she is now one of my heroes. A superwoman in many ways and the documentary is really well done. There are lots of scenes of her speaking to crowds and the way young women, especially law students, look at her is touching.  And you can’t help but fall in love with her now late husband Marty. See this movie and be reminded of how important is the Law.

July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia.  It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan.  Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news. 

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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[thesnhuup]

Pop Picks – February 11, 2019

February 11, 2019

What I’m listening to:

Raphael Saadiq has been around for quite a while, as a musician, writer, and producer. He’s new to me and I love his old school R&B sound. Like Leon Bridges, he brings a contemporary freshness to the genre, sounding like a young Stevie Wonder (listen to “You’re The One That I Like”). Rock and Roll may be largely dead, but R&B persists – maybe because the former was derivative of the latter and never as good (and I say that as a Rock and Roll fan). I’m embarrassed to only have discovered Saadiq so late in his career, but it’s a delight to have done so.

What I’m reading:

Just finished Marilynne Robinson’s Home, part of her trilogy that includes the Pulitzer Prize winning first novel, Gilead, and the book after Home, Lila. Robinson is often described as a Christian writer, but not in a conventional sense. In this case, she gives us a modern version of the prodigal son and tells the story of what comes after he is welcomed back home. It’s not pretty. Robinson is a self-described Calvinist, thus character begets fate in Robinson’s world view and redemption is at best a question. There is something of Faulkner in her work (I am much taken with his famous “The past is never past” quote after a week in the deep South), her style is masterful, and like Faulkner, she builds with these three novels a whole universe in the small town of Gilead. Start with Gilead to better enjoy Home.

What I’m watching:

Sex Education was the most fun series we’ve seen in ages and we binged watched it on Netflix. A British homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty in Pink, it feels like a mash up of American and British high schools. Focusing on the relationship of Maeve, the smart bad girl, and Otis, the virginal and awkward son of a sex therapist (played with brilliance by Gillian Anderson), it is laugh aloud funny and also evolves into more substance and depth (the abortion episode is genius). The sex scenes are somehow raunchy and charming and inoffensive at the same time and while ostensibly about teenagers (it feels like it is explaining contemporary teens to adults in many ways), the adults are compelling in their good and bad ways. It has been renewed for a second season, which is a gift.

Archive

January 3, 2019

What I’m listening to:

My listening choices usually refer to music, but this time I’m going with Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast on genius and the song Hallelujah. It tells the story of Leonard Cohen’s much-covered song Hallelujah and uses it as a lens on kinds of genius and creativity. Along the way, he brings in Picasso and Cézanne, Elvis Costello, and more. Gladwell is a good storyteller and if you love pop music, as I do, and Hallelujah, as I do (and you should), you’ll enjoy this podcast. We tend to celebrate the genius who seems inspired in the moment, creating new work like lightning strikes, but this podcast has me appreciating incremental creativity in a new way. It’s compelling and fun at the same time.

What I’m reading:

Just read Clay Christensen’s new book, The Prosperity Paradox: How Innovation Can Lift Nations Out of Poverty. This was an advance copy, so soon available. Clay is an old friend and a huge influence on how we have grown SNHU and our approach to innovation. This book is so compelling, because we know attempts at development have so often been a failure and it is often puzzling to understand why some countries with desperate poverty and huge challenges somehow come to thrive (think S. Korea, Singapore, 19th C. America), while others languish. Clay offers a fresh way of thinking about development through the lens of his research on innovation and it is compelling. I bet this book gets a lot of attention, as most of his work does. I also suspect that many in the development community will hate it, as it calls into question the approach and enormous investments we have made in an attempt to lift countries out of poverty. A provocative read and, as always, Clay is a good storyteller.

What I’m watching:

Just watched Leave No Trace and should have guessed that it was directed by Debra Granik. She did Winter’s Bone, the extraordinary movie that launched Jennifer Lawrence’s career. Similarly, this movie features an amazing young actor, Thomasin McKenzie, and visits lives lived on the margins. In this case, a veteran suffering PTSD, and his 13-year-old daughter. The movie is patient, is visually lush, and justly earned 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (I have a rule to never watch anything under 82%). Everything in this film is under control and beautifully understated (aside from the visuals) – confident acting, confident directing, and so humane. I love the lack of flashbacks, the lack of sensationalism – the movie trusts the viewer, rare in this age of bombast. A lovely film.

December 4, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spending a week in New Zealand, we had endless laughs listening to the Kiwi band, Flight of the Conchords. Lots of comedic bands are funny, but the music is only okay or worse. These guys are funny – hysterical really – and the music is great. They have an uncanny ability to parody almost any style. In both New Zealand and Australia, we found a wry sense of humor that was just delightful and no better captured than with this duo. You don’t have to be in New Zealand to enjoy them.

What I’m reading:

I don’t often reread. For two reasons: A) I have so many books on my “still to be read” pile that it seems daunting to also reread books I loved before, and B) it’s because I loved them once that I’m a little afraid to read them again. That said, I was recently asked to list my favorite book of all time and I answered Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. But I don’t really know if that’s still true (and it’s an impossible question anyway – favorite book? On what day? In what mood?), so I’m rereading it and it feels like being with an old friend. It has one of my very favorite scenes ever: the card game between Levin and Kitty that leads to the proposal and his joyous walking the streets all night.

What I’m watching:

Blindspotting is billed as a buddy-comedy. Wow does that undersell it and the drama is often gripping. I loved Daveed Diggs in Hamilton, didn’t like his character in Black-ish, and think he is transcendent in this film he co-wrote with Rafael Casal, his co-star.  The film is a love song to Oakland in many ways, but also a gut-wrenching indictment of police brutality, systemic racism and bias, and gentrification. The film has the freshness and raw visceral impact of Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. A great soundtrack, genre mixing, and energy make it one of my favorite movies of 2018.

October 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We had the opportunity to see our favorite band, The National, live in Dallas two weeks ago. Just after watching Mistaken for Strangers, the documentary sort of about the band. So we’ve spent a lot of time going back into their earlier work, listening to songs we don’t know well, and reaffirming that their musicality, smarts, and sound are both original and astoundingly good. They did not disappoint in concert and it is a good thing their tour ended, as we might just spend all of our time and money following them around. Matt Berninger is a genius and his lead vocals kill me (and because they are in my range, I can actually sing along!). Their arrangements are profoundly good and go right to whatever brain/heart wiring that pulls one in and doesn’t let them go.

What I’m reading:

Who is Richard Powers and why have I only discovered him now, with his 12th book? Overstory is profoundly good, a book that is essential and powerful and makes me look at my everyday world in new ways. In short, a dizzying example of how powerful can be narrative in the hands of a master storyteller. I hesitate to say it’s the best environmental novel I’ve ever read (it is), because that would put this book in a category. It is surely about the natural world, but it is as much about we humans. It’s monumental and elegiac and wondrous at all once. Cancel your day’s schedule and read it now. Then plant a tree. A lot of them.

What I’m watching:

Bo Burnham wrote and directed Eighth Grade and Elsie Fisher is nothing less than amazing as its star (what’s with these new child actors; see Florida Project). It’s funny and painful and touching. It’s also the single best film treatment that I have seen of what it means to grow up in a social media shaped world. It’s a reminder that growing up is hard. Maybe harder now in a world of relentless, layered digital pressure to curate perfect lives that are far removed from the natural messy worlds and selves we actually inhabit. It’s a well-deserved 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and I wonder who dinged it for the missing 2%.

September 7, 2018

What I’m listening to:

With a cover pointing back to the Beastie Boys’ 1986 Licensed to Ill, Eminem’s quietly released Kamikaze is not my usual taste, but I’ve always admired him for his “all out there” willingness to be personal, to call people out, and his sheer genius with language. I thought Daveed Diggs could rap fast, but Eminem is supersonic at moments, and still finds room for melody. Love that he includes Joyner Lucas, whose “I’m Not Racist” gets added to the growing list of simply amazing music videos commenting on race in America. There are endless reasons why I am the least likely Eminem fan, but when no one is around to make fun of me, I’ll put it on again.

What I’m reading:

Lesley Blume’s Everyone Behaves Badly, which is the story behind Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and his time in 1920s Paris (oh, what a time – see Midnight in Paris if you haven’t already). Of course, Blume disabuses my romantic ideas of that time and place and everyone is sort of (or profoundly so) a jerk, especially…no spoiler here…Hemingway. That said, it is a compelling read and coming off the Henry James inspired prose of Mrs. Osmond, it made me appreciate more how groundbreaking was Hemingway’s modern prose style. Like his contemporary Picasso, he reinvented the art and it can be easy to forget, these decades later, how profound was the change and its impact. And it has bullfights.

What I’m watching:

Chloé Zhao’s The Rider is just exceptional. It’s filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation, which provides a stunning landscape, and it feels like a classic western reinvented for our times. The main characters are played by the real-life people who inspired this narrative (but feels like a documentary) film. Brady Jandreau, playing himself really, owns the screen. It’s about manhood, honor codes, loss, and resilience – rendered in sensitive, nuanced, and heartfelt ways. It feels like it could be about large swaths of America today. Really powerful.

August 16, 2018

What I’m listening to:

In my Spotify Daily Mix was Percy Sledge’s When A Man Loves A Woman, one of the world’s greatest love songs. Go online and read the story of how the song was discovered and recorded. There are competing accounts, but Sledge said he improvised it after a bad breakup. It has that kind of aching spontaneity. It is another hit from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, one of the GREAT music hotbeds, along with Detroit, Nashville, and Memphis. Our February Board meeting is in Alabama and I may finally have to do the pilgrimage road trip to Muscle Shoals and then Memphis, dropping in for Sunday services at the church where Rev. Al Green still preaches and sings. If the music is all like this, I will be saved.

What I’m reading:

John Banville’s Mrs. Osmond, his homage to literary idol Henry James and an imagined sequel to James’ 1881 masterpiece Portrait of a Lady. Go online and read the first paragraph of Chapter 25. He is…profoundly good. Makes me want to never write again, since anything I attempt will feel like some other, lowly activity in comparison to his mastery of language, image, syntax. This is slow reading, every sentence to be savored.

What I’m watching:

I’ve always respected Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but we just watched the documentary RGB. It is over-the-top great and she is now one of my heroes. A superwoman in many ways and the documentary is really well done. There are lots of scenes of her speaking to crowds and the way young women, especially law students, look at her is touching.  And you can’t help but fall in love with her now late husband Marty. See this movie and be reminded of how important is the Law.

July 23, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Spotify’s Summer Acoustic playlist has been on repeat quite a lot. What a fun way to listen to artists new to me, including The Paper Kites, Hollow Coves, and Fleet Foxes, as well as old favorites like Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Pretty chill when dialing back to a summer pace, dining on the screen porch or reading a book.

What I’m reading:

Bryan Stevenson’s Just Mercy. Founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, Stevenson tells of the racial injustice (and the war on the poor our judicial system perpetuates as well) that he discovered as a young graduate from Harvard Law School and his fight to address it. It is in turn heartbreaking, enraging, and inspiring. It is also about mercy and empathy and justice that reads like a novel. Brilliant.

What I’m watching:

Fauda. We watched season one of this Israeli thriller. It was much discussed in Israel because while it focuses on an ex-special agent who comes out of retirement to track down a Palestinian terrorist, it was willing to reveal the complexity, richness, and emotions of Palestinian lives. And the occasional brutality of the Israelis. Pretty controversial stuff in Israel. Lior Raz plays Doron, the main character, and is compelling and tough and often hard to like. He’s a mess. As is the world in which he has to operate. We really liked it, and also felt guilty because while it may have been brave in its treatment of Palestinians within the Israeli context, it falls back into some tired tropes and ultimately falls short on this front.

June 11, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Like everyone else, I’m listening to Pusha T drop the mic on Drake. Okay, not really, but do I get some points for even knowing that? We all walk around with songs that immediately bring us back to a time or a place. Songs are time machines. We are coming up on Father’s Day. My own dad passed away on Father’s Day back in 1994 and I remembering dutifully getting through the wake and funeral and being strong throughout. Then, sitting alone in our kitchen, Don Henley’s The End of the Innocence came on and I lost it. When you lose a parent for the first time (most of us have two after all) we lose our innocence and in that passage, we suddenly feel adult in a new way (no matter how old we are), a longing for our own childhood, and a need to forgive and be forgiven. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll understand. As Wordsworth reminds us in In Memoriam, there are seasons to our grief and, all these years later, this song no longer hits me in the gut, but does transport me back with loving memories of my father. I’ll play it Father’s Day.

What I’m reading:

The Fifth Season, by N. K. Jemisin. I am not a reader of fantasy or sci-fi, though I understand they can be powerful vehicles for addressing the very real challenges of the world in which we actually live. I’m not sure I know of a more vivid and gripping illustration of that fact than N. K. Jemisin’s Hugo Award winning novel The Fifth Season, first in her Broken Earth trilogy. It is astounding. It is the fantasy parallel to The Underground Railroad, my favorite recent read, a depiction of subjugation, power, casual violence, and a broken world in which our hero(s) struggle, suffer mightily, and still, somehow, give us hope. It is a tour de force book. How can someone be this good a writer? The first 30 pages pained me (always with this genre, one must learn a new, constructed world, and all of its operating physics and systems of order), and then I could not put it down. I panicked as I neared the end, not wanting to finish the book, and quickly ordered the Obelisk Gate, the second novel in the trilogy, and I can tell you now that I’ll be spending some goodly portion of my weekend in Jemisin’s other world.

What I’m watching:

The NBA Finals and perhaps the best basketball player of this generation. I’ve come to deeply respect LeBron James as a person, a force for social good, and now as an extraordinary player at the peak of his powers. His superhuman play during the NBA playoffs now ranks with the all-time greats, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, MJ, Kobe, and the demi-god that was Bill Russell. That his Cavs lost in a 4-game sweep is no surprise. It was a mediocre team being carried on the wide shoulders of James (and matched against one of the greatest teams ever, the Warriors, and the Harry Potter of basketball, Steph Curry) and, in some strange way, his greatness is amplified by the contrast with the rest of his team. It was a great run.

May 24, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I’ve always liked Alicia Keys and admired her social activism, but I am hooked on her last album Here. This feels like an album finally commensurate with her anger, activism, hope, and grit. More R&B and Hip Hop than is typical for her, I think this album moves into an echelon inhabited by a Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On or Beyonce’s Formation. Social activism and outrage rarely make great novels, but they often fuel great popular music. Here is a terrific example.

What I’m reading:

Colson Whitehead’s Underground Railroad may be close to a flawless novel. Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer, it chronicles the lives of two runaway slaves, Cora and Caeser, as they try to escape the hell of plantation life in Georgia.  It is an often searing novel and Cora is one of the great heroes of American literature. I would make this mandatory reading in every high school in America, especially in light of the absurd revisionist narratives of “happy and well cared for” slaves. This is a genuinely great novel, one of the best I’ve read, the magical realism and conflating of time periods lifts it to another realm of social commentary, relevance, and a blazing indictment of America’s Original Sin, for which we remain unabsolved.

What I’m watching:

I thought I knew about The Pentagon Papers, but The Post, a real-life political thriller from Steven Spielberg taught me a lot, features some of our greatest actors, and is so timely given the assault on our democratic institutions and with a presidency out of control. It is a reminder that a free and fearless press is a powerful part of our democracy, always among the first targets of despots everywhere. The story revolves around the legendary Post owner and D.C. doyenne, Katharine Graham. I had the opportunity to see her son, Don Graham, right after he saw the film, and he raved about Meryl Streep’s portrayal of his mother. Liked it a lot more than I expected.

April 27, 2018

What I’m listening to:

I mentioned John Prine in a recent post and then on the heels of that mention, he has released a new album, The Tree of Forgiveness, his first new album in ten years. Prine is beloved by other singer songwriters and often praised by the inscrutable God that is Bob Dylan.  Indeed, Prine was frequently said to be the “next Bob Dylan” in the early part of his career, though he instead carved out his own respectable career and voice, if never with the dizzying success of Dylan. The new album reflects a man in his 70s, a cancer survivor, who reflects on life and its end, but with the good humor and empathy that are hallmarks of Prine’s music. “When I Get To Heaven” is a rollicking, fun vision of what comes next and a pure delight. A charming, warm, and often terrific album.

What I’m reading:

I recently read Min Jin Lee’s Pachinko, on many people’s Top Ten lists for last year and for good reason. It is sprawling, multi-generational, and based in the world of Japanese occupied Korea and then in the Korean immigrant’s world of Oaska, so our key characters become “tweeners,” accepted in neither world. It’s often unspeakably sad, and yet there is resiliency and love. There is also intimacy, despite the time and geographic span of the novel. It’s breathtakingly good and like all good novels, transporting.

What I’m watching:

I adore Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 film, Pan’s Labyrinth, and while I’m not sure his Shape of Water is better, it is a worthy follow up to the earlier masterpiece (and more of a commercial success). Lots of critics dislike the film, but I’m okay with a simple retelling of a Beauty and the Beast love story, as predictable as it might be. The acting is terrific, it is visually stunning, and there are layers of pain as well as social and political commentary (the setting is the US during the Cold War) and, no real spoiler here, the real monsters are humans, the military officer who sees over the captured aquatic creature. It is hauntingly beautiful and its depiction of hatred to those who are different or “other” is painfully resonant with the time in which we live. Put this on your “must see” list.

March 18, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Sitting on a plane for hours (and many more to go; geez, Australia is far away) is a great opportunity to listen to new music and to revisit old favorites. This time, it is Lucy Dacus and her album Historians, the new sophomore release from a 22-year old indie artist that writes with relatable, real-life lyrics. Just on a second listen and while she insists this isn’t a break up record (as we know, 50% of all great songs are break up songs), it is full of loss and pain. Worth the listen so far. For the way back machine, it’s John Prine and In Spite of Ourselves (that title track is one of the great love songs of all time), a collection of duets with some of his “favorite girl singers” as he once described them. I have a crush on Iris Dement (for a really righteously angry song try her Wasteland of the Free), but there is also EmmyLou Harris, the incomparable Dolores Keane, and Lucinda Williams. Very different albums, both wonderful.

What I’m reading:

Jane Mayer’s New Yorker piece on Christopher Steele presents little that is new, but she pulls it together in a terrific and coherent whole that is illuminating and troubling at the same time. Not only for what is happening, but for the complicity of the far right in trying to discredit that which should be setting off alarm bells everywhere. Bob Mueller may be the most important defender of the democracy at this time. A must read.

What I’m watching:

Homeland is killing it this season and is prescient, hauntingly so. Russian election interference, a Bannon-style hate radio demagogue, alienated and gun toting militia types, and a president out of control. It’s fabulous, even if it feels awfully close to the evening news. 

March 8, 2018

What I’m listening to:

We have a family challenge to compile our Top 100 songs. It is painful. Only 100? No more than three songs by one artist? Wait, why is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” on my list? Should it just be The Clash from whom she samples? Can I admit to guilty pleasure songs? Hey, it’s my list and I can put anything I want on it. So I’m listening to the list while I work and the song playing right now is Tom Petty’s “The Wild One, Forever,” a B-side single that was never a hit and that remains my favorite Petty song. Also, “Evangeline” by Los Lobos. It evokes a night many years ago, with friends at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA, when everyone danced well past 1AM in a hot, sweaty, packed club and the band was a revelation. Maybe the best music night of our lives and a reminder that one’s 100 Favorite Songs list is as much about what you were doing and where you were in your life when those songs were playing as it is about the music. It’s not a list. It’s a soundtrack for this journey.

What I’m reading:

Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy was in the NY Times top ten books of 2017 list and it is easy to see why. Lockwood brings remarkable and often surprising imagery, metaphor, and language to her prose memoir and it actually threw me off at first. It then all became clear when someone told me she is a poet. The book is laugh aloud funny, which masks (or makes safer anyway) some pretty dark territory. Anyone who grew up Catholic, whether lapsed or not, will resonate with her story. She can’t resist a bawdy anecdote and her family provides some of the most memorable characters possible, especially her father, her sister, and her mother, who I came to adore. Best thing I’ve read in ages.

What I’m watching:

The Florida Project, a profoundly good movie on so many levels. Start with the central character, six-year old (at the time of the filming) Brooklynn Prince, who owns – I mean really owns – the screen. This is pure acting genius and at that age? Astounding. Almost as astounding is Bria Vinaite, who plays her mother. She was discovered on Instagram and had never acted before this role, which she did with just three weeks of acting lessons. She is utterly convincing and the tension between the child’s absolute wonder and joy in the world with her mother’s struggle to provide, to be a mother, is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Willem Dafoe rightly received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role. This is a terrific movie.

February 12, 2018

What I’m listening to:

So, I have a lot of friends of age (I know you’re thinking 40s, but I just turned 60) who are frozen in whatever era of music they enjoyed in college or maybe even in their thirties. There are lots of times when I reach back into the catalog, since music is one of those really powerful and transporting senses that can take you through time (smell is the other one, though often underappreciated for that power). Hell, I just bought a turntable and now spending time in vintage vinyl shops. But I’m trying to take a lesson from Pat, who revels in new music and can as easily talk about North African rap music and the latest National album as Meet the Beatles, her first ever album. So, I’ve been listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy winning Damn. While it may not be the first thing I’ll reach for on a winter night in Maine, by the fire, I was taken with it. It’s layered, political, and weirdly sensitive and misogynist at the same time, and it feels fresh and authentic and smart at the same time, with music that often pulled me from what I was doing. In short, everything music should do. I’m not a bit cooler for listening to Damn, but when I followed it with Steely Dan, I felt like I was listening to Lawrence Welk. A good sign, I think.

What I’m reading:

I am reading Walter Isaacson’s new biography of Leonardo da Vinci. I’m not usually a reader of biographies, but I’ve always been taken with Leonardo. Isaacson does not disappoint (does he ever?), and his subject is at once more human and accessible and more awe-inspiring in Isaacson’s capable hands. Gay, left-handed, vegetarian, incapable of finishing things, a wonderful conversationalist, kind, and perhaps the most relentlessly curious human being who has ever lived. Like his biographies of Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, Isaacson’s project here is to show that genius lives at the intersection of science and art, of rationality and creativity. Highly recommend it.

What I’m watching:

We watched the This Is Us post-Super Bowl episode, the one where Jack finally buys the farm. I really want to hate this show. It is melodramatic and manipulative, with characters that mostly never change or grow, and it hooks me every damn time we watch it. The episode last Sunday was a tear jerker, a double whammy intended to render into a blubbering, tissue-crumbling pathetic mess anyone who has lost a parent or who is a parent. Sterling K. Brown, Ron Cephas Jones, the surprising Mandy Moore, and Milo Ventimiglia are hard not to love and last season’s episode that had only Brown and Cephas going to Memphis was the show at its best (they are by far the two best actors). Last week was the show at its best worst. In other words, I want to hate it, but I love it. If you haven’t seen it, don’t binge watch it. You’ll need therapy and insulin.

January 15, 2018

What I’m listening to:

Drive-By Truckers. Chris Stapleton has me on an unusual (for me) country theme and I discovered these guys to my great delight. They’ve been around, with some 11 albums, but the newest one is fascinating. It’s a deep dive into Southern alienation and the white working-class world often associated with our current president. I admire the willingness to lay bare, in kick ass rock songs, the complexities and pain at work among people we too quickly place into overly simple categories. These guys are brave, bold, and thoughtful as hell, while producing songs I didn’t expect to like, but that I keep playing. And they are coming to NH.

What I’m reading:

A textual analog to Drive-By Truckers by Chris Stapleton in many ways is Tony Horowitz’s 1998 Pulitzer Prize winning Confederates in the Attic. Ostensibly about the Civil War and the South’s ongoing attachment to it, it is prescient and speaks eloquently to the times in which we live (where every southern state but Virginia voted for President Trump). Often hilarious, it too surfaces complexities and nuance that escape a more recent, and widely acclaimed, book like Hillbilly Elegy. As a Civil War fan, it was also astonishing in many instances, especially when it blows apart long-held “truths” about the war, such as the degree to which Sherman burned down the south (he did not). Like D-B Truckers, Horowitz loves the South and the people he encounters, even as he grapples with its myths of victimhood and exceptionalism (and racism, which may be no more than the racism in the north, but of a different kind). Everyone should read this book and I’m embarrassed I’m so late to it.

What I’m watching:

David Letterman has a new Netflix show called “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction” and we watched the first episode, in which Letterman interviewed Barack Obama. It was extraordinary (if you don’t have Netflix, get it just to watch this show); not only because we were reminded of Obama’s smarts, grace, and humanity (and humor), but because we saw a side of Letterman we didn’t know existed. His personal reflections on Selma were raw and powerful, almost painful. He will do five more episodes with “extraordinary individuals” and if they are anything like the first, this might be the very best work of his career and one of the best things on television.

December 22, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished Sunjeev Sahota’s Year of the Runaways, a painful inside look at the plight of illegal Indian immigrant workers in Britain. It was shortlisted for 2015 Man Booker Prize and its transporting, often to a dark and painful universe, and it is impossible not to think about the American version of this story and the terrible way we treat the undocumented in our own country, especially now.

What I’m watching:

Season II of The Crown is even better than Season I. Elizabeth’s character is becoming more three-dimensional, the modern world is catching up with tradition-bound Britain, and Cold War politics offer more context and tension than we saw in Season I. Claire Foy, in her last season, is just terrific – one arched eye brow can send a message.

What I’m listening to:

A lot of Christmas music, but needing a break from the schmaltz, I’ve discovered Over the Rhine and their Christmas album, Snow Angels. God, these guys are good.

November 14, 2017

What I’m watching:

Guiltily, I watch the Patriots play every weekend, often building my schedule and plans around seeing the game. Why the guilt? I don’t know how morally defensible is football anymore, as we now know the severe damage it does to the players. We can’t pretend it’s all okay anymore. Is this our version of late decadent Rome, watching mostly young Black men take a terrible toll on each other for our mere entertainment?

What I’m reading:

Recently finished J.G. Ballard’s 2000 novel Super-Cannes, a powerful depiction of a corporate-tech ex-pat community taken over by a kind of psychopathology, in which all social norms and responsibilities are surrendered to residents of the new world community. Kept thinking about Silicon Valley when reading it. Pretty dark, dystopian view of the modern world and centered around a mass killing, troublingly prescient.

What I’m listening to:

Was never really a Lorde fan, only knowing her catchy (and smarter than you might first guess) pop hit “Royals” from her debut album. But her new album, Melodrama, is terrific and it doesn’t feel quite right to call this “pop.” There is something way more substantial going on with Lorde and I can see why many critics put this album at the top of their Best in 2017 list. Count me in as a huge fan.

November 3, 2017

What I’m reading: Just finished Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere, her breathtakingly good second novel. How is someone so young so wise? Her writing is near perfection and I read the book in two days, setting my alarm for 4:30AM so I could finish it before work.

What I’m watching: We just binge watched season two of Stranger Things and it was worth it just to watch Millie Bobbie Brown, the transcendent young actor who plays Eleven. The series is a delightful mash up of every great eighties horror genre you can imagine and while pretty dark, an absolute joy to watch.

What I’m listening to: I’m not a lover of country music (to say the least), but I love Chris Stapleton. His “The Last Thing I Needed, First Thing This Morning” is heartbreakingly good and reminds me of the old school country that played in my house as a kid. He has a new album and I can’t wait, but his From A Room: Volume 1 is on repeat for now.

September 26, 2017

What I’m reading:

Just finished George Saunder’s Lincoln in the Bardo. It took me a while to accept its cadence and sheer weirdness, but loved it in the end. A painful meditation on loss and grief, and a genuinely beautiful exploration of the intersection of life and death, the difficulty of letting go of what was, good and bad, and what never came to be.

What I’m watching:

HBO’s The Deuce. Times Square and the beginning of the porn industry in the 1970s, the setting made me wonder if this was really something I’d want to see. But David Simon is the writer and I’d read a menu if he wrote it. It does not disappoint so far and there is nothing prurient about it.

What I’m listening to:

The National’s new album Sleep Well Beast. I love this band. The opening piano notes of the first song, “Nobody Else Will Be There,” seize me & I’m reminded that no one else in music today matches their arrangement & musicianship. I’m adding “Born to Beg,” “Slow Show,” “I Need My Girl,” and “Runaway” to my list of favorite love songs.

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