#I never should have learned how to read
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everyday I wake up and there's some little rat in my ear trying to tell me that 'khaenri'ah deserved it'. Like Celestia has canonically committed AT LEAST 4 counts of genocide (likely more) and you buffoons STILL won't accept that they're evil. How are you "well what was she wearing" an ENTIRE NATION IDC if rhinedottir herself was dropping atomic bombs on liyue you cannot DESERVE genocide
#I never should have learned how to read#interacting w hyv fans inflicts brain damage on me#and continuously expands my understanding of how stupid a human being can be#genshin impact#genshin#khaenri'ah
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hi it's me. "telling" in writing is sometimes fine. if you think a scene is better served by summarizing a character's reaction in plain, direct language, that's a thing you're allowed to do. you could consider elaborating from that direct language and using that to "show".
but like "show, don't tell" is absolutely not always the case unless you really want to buff out your word count. i had a writer early on quote "show, don't tell" to me when i showed her a scene that included what was essentially a set-piece character i described as a "sleepy-eyed dancer". she wanted me to spend time describing this character's exhaustion instead of just directly saying it. This dancer - who is referenced once in the initial description of a setting and never, ever shows up again.
that was probably the day i learned that you can hear writing advice and respond politely but quietly think "mm no". you can also do this.
(feel free to fight me in the comments but know that i despise catchy and generalized writing advice like this and the way it can hinder new writers when stated with no room for exploration. and i will die on this hill. i am not normal about this)
#writeblr#writing advice#oh god the amount of time i spent stressing over making sure i never TOLD anything#dude if that's your vibe and intent that's cool! work with that!#you should be able to show things#you should also know when something is not meant to be given that much detail#and it's a great skill to learn how to TELL things and still make direct language come across as interesting to read#play with it#“she was sad” “she had never known depression like this” “the despair stung in the back of her throat like bile”#different perspectives have different ways of seeing the world maybe
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happy (belated) birthday to @heavilycaffeinatedsblog !
#2251.5 Miles#this is one of my favorite fics !#you should read it !!!#based off one that one scene where lance starts singing his favorite song all dramatically#heavily_caffeinated#voltron#vld#klance#keith kogane#lance mcclain#vld keith#vld lance#klance fic#klance fic rec#modern au#my art i guess#no i still have not learned how to shade and i never will#heavily
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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ok. question.
ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?
#pulp speaks#Am i thinking of my “ortega sees sidestep posthb” fic again? perhaps#shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it#but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are#but theyre all some variation of “i didnt know you /cared/”#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea#i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are “whats done is done and im back now” with a small#“ill try not to leave again” mixed in#meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it#itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i#-his face‚ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitch‚ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face#but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it#ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core#anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy 👍#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ortega#sidestep#fhr
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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August: Day 14
Adventures
Met a friend for lunch. Nice chance to catch up.
Treated myself to ice cream.
Went inside Barnes and Noble for the first time in ages, and saw several kinds of those Aesthetic editions of classics. Had fun looking at them and learning that most of them aren't good for reading.
Completed a library scavenger hunt.
Picked up a couple of library holds and a couple other books from my reading list, along with a book about silhouette-cutting that was so delightfully odd that I couldn't leave it behind.
Accomplishments
Uninstalled and reinstalled LibreOffice, in the hopes it will properly recover unsaved documents in the future.
Added just a bit to the Rapunzel outline
Helped my dad to patch my car's tire and change the oil.
#adventures in august#seeing the fancy classics was fun#and learning how bad they are for reading made me feel better about never buying any#why do so many of them have glossy pages?#i should not be getting glare from a physical book#and those penguin clothbounds!#the designs are wearing off right there on the shelf!#i can't imagine anyone seeing that and buying any of those#no matter how pretty they are
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that post that's like "learning social skills helps with social anxiety" applies to dating also btw
#i guess they have a circular relationship because also going on lots of first dates was really trial by fire for me in learning lots lf#new social skills#meeting new people was never my strong suit and i was very afraid of it and would avoid it but like!#when i first tried going on first dates i learned a lot about how to meet people and met types of queer people i'd never met before#and actually it was good for me even though it was often weird and stressful#and it was a lower-stakes way to practice social skills that i otherwise would've just avoided using until they atrophied#anyway whenever i see a dating profile that's like 'i'm afraid of talking to women lol' i'm like ok relatable but what's your plan to learn#i think also just like it doesn't have to be through dating but it is good for you to meet other gay and trans people offline if possible#when i moved to wisconsin i only knew my coworkers who were mostly also twentysomethings who'd been hired straight from college#and it was good for me to meet and make friends with other local gay and trans people who were involved in different stuff#idk i just don't know how many more 'i'm obsessed with romance but scoff at the idea that i should do anything about that' posts i can read#like if i said i wanted to run a marathon but i never practiced running people would fairly be like okay that's prob not gonna happen#idk i know it's no skin off my nose i'm just like. if you never take any steps towards expressing your desires#how do you think they're going to just happen to you#personal nonsense
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writing is so cool because it gives me a chance to talk about things I'm passionate about without having anyone in the room with me who could ignore me or silence me or get angry at me for daring to trust them enough to be honest with them or just tell me I talk too much
#vent post#listen i grew up with people who didn't want me to say a word unless i was asked to#“children should be seen and not heard” my ass#to this day i struggle to talk when I'm with people because my head is empty because i never learned how to#and still i have a very strong belief that i talk too much#as if it was a mortal sin. what if im just talkative by nature. what then#so writing can save me because i can say everything i want and maybe someone will read it maybe not#but at least no one can silence me mid sentence#there's freedom in art forms which allow communication#if you read my stories i highly encourage you to look behind the blue curtains and try find the measage#i wish i could tell you directly i really wish
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im so conflicted about them. when gen gives into her feelings they can be so cute (i love protective gen) but when she shows her “bad side��� she becomes a total bitch! i wanted aoey to slap her or leave her on multiple occasions. SOMETIMES BOTH!
#much like with wanpleng in affair I really don’t think they should be together#but that’s tv for ya#I think I read somewhere that’s there’s a significant time jump in which they are separated#so I’m really worried as to what causes them to break up since they seem to be in a good place right now#now that their relationship and feelings are out in the open#glad the mom was cool#but also#FUCK GREAT!!!#dude knew it was not working out between him and aoey#HELL SHE WAS ON A DATE WITH SOME OTHER DUDE#and yet he kept pestering his sister to help him out#the boy never seemed to learn his lesson and continued to touch aoey causing her to have a freak out#AND THEN#he decides to get his sister drunk!#(though im unsure how he pulled that off since gen knew right away that something was off with her drink)#OH I ALSO FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE OUTED HIS SISTER#*takes a deep breath*#ok I think that’s everything#gen x aoey#mate the series#gl series
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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The problem with not having your mom close anymore is that when things are going wrong in your life, everyone stops at just saying they're sorry and no one asks how they can help there's only so much a sad face text can do when the real cure is a hug or someone bringing you ice cream or just asking you to come over for a movie yk?
#don't read the tags I'm continuing to complain about things that aren't even that bad#this isnt for any of you just the people who live five minutes down the road from me#there's only so much you can except from them#i mean when you only have three irl friends#but . idk I just don't see people ever . and no one ever asks me to come over and do things#and everything compounds on itself and sometimes it would just be nice#if anyone would ever reach out i don't fucking know#just feeling lost and lonely tonight whatever it's fine#things should always be good forever and never change#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#text post#like if I lived with my mom she would give me a hug make me dinner whatever#I think everyone else just . never learned how to do that or forgot
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it's really a shame I have to sell 40+ of my life hours every week for poverty wages instead of spending all my time and energy on dozens of creative and technical pursuits with unlimited resources
#nerd alert#lets see if i can list all the hobbies i wish i could be doing instead of working#drawing. both traditional and digital. painting mostly acrylic but id like to get good at watercolors. drawing/writing comics#writing in general. fiction nonfiction poetry lyrics whatever. composing music. music production. singing. practicing piano and guitar#performing someday maybe!#sculpting too. i always forget bc i never do it bc i am never in a place to justify buying clay. i should just get some#i think im fairly good at it tbh. anyway.#knitting. sewing. mending and modding clothes in general. embroidery. id like to learn to crochet at some point#photography and scrapbooking sound appealing. photo editing.#web design. game design. 3d modeling. these are all things i dont really know how to do much of but id like to#animation. voice acting. regular acting. honestly a lot of stuff in the filmmaking process sounds fascinating id like to try some of it#tarot reading. is that a hobby? im gonna say yes. jewelry making.#lots of these ive only dabbled in and some i havent even done that but would like to. but i have no time and or money to get into them.#i would hardly call myself a master at any of these. jack of all trades as it were. and thats fine im fine w that#but given the time and resources i think i could make so many different diverse perfectly average to good things#that people could enjoy in passing or say 'oh how neat :)' about
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After the exile and attainder of her husband, Henry Holland, duke of Exeter, [Anne of York] acquired the bulk of his inheritance in 1462 with custody over her daughter and heiress, Anne Holland. The decision to make Anne femme sole was legalised in parliament. It was a testament to Edward’s willingness to bend the law for his family as the family ignored the rightful claim of the Holland family descendants such as Ralph, Lord Neville. Although it was enrolled as a royal grant, the original bill suggests it was in fact made at the duchess’s request as it bears the king’s sign manual, a note of the commons’ consent, and the royal response ‘le roy le voet’.
Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brockers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485
#Posting this because I didn't know she was named femme sole 👀#Idk much about English law at that time so if he's right was it normal for the wives of attained men to automatically acquire the status?#Or was it unusual/unique to her specifically? (in which case it should be seen as the precedent later used for Margaret Beaufort)#Either way: As I keep saying Edward's willingness to disregard law and inheritances for the sake of family did not begin with his brothers#it began with Anne; Richard and Clarence probably learned from her example. (Also she most probably cheated on her husband. Slay)#anne of york duchess of Exeter#english history#Edward IV#women in history#my post#I was only able to read some chapters from this book from a library before I left (idk if/when I'll read the whole thing) but...#I think it seems to be good and had some VERY interesting parts but I also had some minor issues with it#This book is specifically dedicated to Yorkist 'power brokers' and has a chapter dedicated to women#and yet somehow never once mentioned or explored how the queen of England was appointed to royal councils for the princes? Okay...#It's bizarre how more time was spent exploring Cecily Neville and even more oddly MoA (how is she even relevant here lol?) than EW#also Brondarbit claiming that Elizabeth 'Jane' Shore was thought to have some influence with Edward IV ... no she wasn't lol#Assuming they did have an affair (which is plausible but unproven) there is no current proof of influence on her part - quite the opposite#Even apart from the fact that post-contemporaries - including Thomas More - literally couldn't even remember her name#She received no official grants/rewards from Edward as former mistresses did & was absent in every known case of intercession in his reign#We ALREADY KNOW who was regarded as influential with Edward as specific examples make that clear; Shore was very decidedly not one of them#Also: More - the first/only one to link her to Edward - also claims that Edward stopped having affairs in his last years. So.#Sorry I'm going to stop rambling I just hate these minor-yet-persistent misconceptions
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I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they haven’t taught me the phrase ‘kill me’ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like ‘kill’#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if it’s in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emma’s adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if I’m dyslexic for sure and there’s a way to help that with other languages. I’m not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#I’ve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and I’m not fluent but I’ve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what it’s like to start from scratch#I didn’t start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like ‘psh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this language’#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadn’t used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please don’t take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#I’m better than someone who never learned it and didn’t encounter it’s use a lot. but I really don’t think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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People acting like the NY Times changed their headline because Joe Biden And The Zionists Who Control Everything personally got involved and bribed the journalists instead of it updating because, you know, they got new information....we are so fucking doomed lol.
#gingerswagfreckles#israel palestine war#israel palestine conflict#israel#palestine#i/p#i/p conflict#i/p war#how many times do we have to learn that social media isnt more reliable than newspapers. how many times do we have to learn that media#can have a slant that should be looked at critically without it being all AI generated lies and Qanon level conspiracies#every time people post on here it becomes more and more clear that theyve never read the news they are accusing of being propaganda#in their entire lives
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