#I need to get out of this country NOW
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the new episode of pod watcher is extremely near and dear to my heart
#idk why I love it so much but it made me really happy#pod watcher#watcher#Shane Madej#Ryan bergara#Steven lim#also the thought of being back in a town that has tamale trucks….#I need to get out of this country NOW#and the way Steven said ‘that’s like an Angel from god’ had me DYING
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you know, after watching day 3 of the democratic national convention, i need to say something, especially to other muslims like me.
most of the muslim communities that i'm a part of have chosen to vote uncommitted, or independent, or sometimes, even trump. they refuse to give their vote to kamala harris and tim walz, because of the way the us has handled the war in gaza, and how they have been careless with acknowledging palestinian lives lost, how it was american bombs and american tax money that went towards funding this genocide. it's fucked up, and it's wrong, and there shouldn't be any debate on that.
and i am 100% in support of that anger. i am 100% in support of forcing america to stop funding this genocide. no one wants to keep seeing palestinian lives suffer. no one is free until we're all free, and i believe that to my very core.
my only concern is that where this anger is being placed, from 1 year to 11 weeks before the presidential election, is so scary. because the reality of the situation is that america has a bipartisan outlook. whoever gets the presidency is either democrat or republican. and every vote that doesn't go towards democracy (i.e. voting for kamala harris) inadvertently goes towards trump's big plan of project 2025, which is basically dictatorship. Even voting uncommitted, even voting independent. we cannot afford to elect trump for a second term, and voting anything other than democrat draws that line way too close, especially in swing states like michigan, pennsylvania, wisconsin, georgia.
yes, there are many issues that we wish joe biden would handle better. there are many ways that the democratic party has fucked up beyond repair. there are many ways the democratic party has refused to acknowledge the pain of people affected by their military people throughout the years, and we've been seeing it for years. this is not a new thing. this did not start on october 7th. we see it during pretty much every administration.
however, voting for your candidate should never be based on a singular issue. no political candidate is ever going to check every single box. and its so unfortunate that we have to always take the "lesser of two evils" approach when nominating our president, but that's the reality of the situation at this very moment. there are many other rights to be considered that are at stake this election, all of which trump is trying to remove. abortion bans, women's rights, healthcare, social security, climate change, to name a few.
(and, somehow, there's a belief that trump will lead to a ceasefire deal where biden-harris didn't? let me tell you that is never going to happen.)
does this mean we just stop protesting or pressuring? absolutely not. you NEVER stop, because if our votes are the ones that put the candidate in their position of power, then we expect results. we expect them to work towards what they promised. and we can't let up on reaching out to our local county offices and our state governors and escalating these issues further until someone takes notice and does something about them. we don't elect them and just leave them to do what they want. we keep them accountable. use that anger i was talking about.
but it also means not having tunnel vision. the election in november could very well mean the end of democracy if kamala harris doesn't win. this post is not me all giggly-happy over the democratic party, because trust me, i have my fair share of issues with them as well. this post isn't to tell you what to do, because i can't force you to vote blue. i can't force the community i'm in to change their minds about toss-up votes. but what i can do is put down plainly what's at stake this election. and that is, very simply, our right to choose everything.
so if you are eligible to vote and haven't registered, please do. if you haven't voted before because "what's the point", please see above what the point is. a handful of votes is enough to flip the outcome of an election, especially with the electoral college.
and if you're still on the fence on whether to vote for kamala or trump, hopefully this post gives a little bit more perspective in the most streamlined way i could manage without bogging you down with statistics and numbers.
the choice is yours.
#zee rambles#as a muslim person of color who is going to practice medicine in this country there is just so much at stake#us politics#politics#vote democrat#democracy#2024 elections#elections#us elections#this post got a little long. but hopefully it inspires some of you#and for those of us who are in communities where people are teetering between harris and trump#it boggles my mind sometimes#tumblr has been so silent about politics and i get it but also there needs to be more encouragement to go out and vote#if you're protesting right now that's completely okay#it's just that ballot in november is so so important for the future of this country#so we have at least a chance towards a world we want versus losing everything we know altogether if trump gets re-elected#ty chey for looking this over and making sure i didn't sound like an idiot <3 mwah ly
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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Oh you have complicated feelings towards Germany? Let me make 91836373 assumptions about it with my piss poor understanding of history, not listen to germans at all and then come to a horrendously bad and false conclusion on why that is! Also I think you germans should stop feeling guilty and be proud of your country again!
#I know people mean well when they say stuff like you should be proud of your country but my fucking god they are annoying#rains rants#german stuff#''I'm sure now that I a random person with no connection to germany commented this somewhere with my obvious zero understanding of germany-#all germans reading this will go 'oh hey you're right' and then feel patriotic! I'm sure my dumb comment will solve a what I regard#as issue of an entire country with a population of 80 million people! no need to thank me and my superior world view!''#sorry had to let that out somewhere.. the amount of times I see stupid ass comments like that is insane#ough post derailed I should've specified how I ment this sorry I get easily annoyed at this#The notes reinforce something I specifically did NOT mean but I didn't specify that in the post that was just in my thoughts#hate the reinforcement of the 'guilt' stereotype or the as long as we deal with nazis and stuff we aren't 'allowed' to be proud like no-#wait this isn't what this was about. Yes they're all still own topics to be discussed#although the last point doesn't exist agh forget everything I said actually#it's learning from history and taking responsibility not we can't be proud because some people are antisemitic and our past is dark#I should've turned off reblogs way earlier
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Who out of everyone eated the drugs the most?? Takes-ed em' Inhalation. Do any of thems takes its together????
- ALT - EDIBLES SWAP: Please don't overdose on edibles SWAP: it's not a healthy coping mechanism (Has heart problems and fatigue now)
POT Dust takes it in consideration (1-4 days), usually when he needs/wants to to chill/relax Horror does pot everyday
HIGH TOGETHER FRESH: Sometimes I join them FRESH: Tho... it's sad that they can no longer become sober
- IDK - If Error and Ink ever become sober the cannabis hangover will be CRAZY (dang forever weed brownie and forever weed paint...)
EDIT: My dumb dumb forgot to add a little message for Swap saying he's sober now :skull:
MAIN: @inkyu
Back | Start | Next
#Silly Ask#Hiiiii double post today!!!#I had enough time (because last post I did some of yesterday) to draw out some more asks :3#Now I need to figure out how to make make a video small enough to be a gif#capcut.... save me capcut please...#also I'm posing this at 10:31 PM and the smell of the night air is making me feel nostalgic#My favorite time of the day is night I freaking love night time#it's scary yeah but the smell and vibe of it makes me happy#ESP WHEN IT'S RAINING!!! best time EVER#gosh I wish I could travel or create a realm just for the scenery#I would sell my soul to be able to do that#But then again it's much more enjoyable when you've waited long enough for it SJSJSJ#anyways sense no ones reading my tag rambles...#I need to get out of this fucking country I swear to the stars#If there is a god out there make me a god so I can escape this god for saken planet and just chill on the moon#ask the druggieverse#atdv#swap#swap sans#dust#dust sans#horror#horror sans#ink#ink sans#error#error sans#fresh#fresh sans#undertale
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Kinda in regards to the Empress & BodyGuard 2-
Is Zaphira (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) an elf or do humans have pointed ears in your universe? If no elves, how do the pointed ears happen? Are there different length of ears and if so do they mean somethin?
Love your art & use of colours!
Thank you! and thank you for asking! (this sketch took me way too long .. and the colors still look washed out on my desktop screen but im not editing a third time ..)
Zaphira is human, there are no elves, as such, in this world, though humans tend to live longer than IRL and have differently shaped ears-
the shapes are rather diverse (example above) and culturally (so far) they have no significance, they are merely a trait just like different nose shapes or fantasy hair colors
the worldbuilding reason is that these are extremely diluted demonic influences- in the past demons were frequently in the human world, though largely in secret/disguised, and long time exposure to demonic presences can have varying effects, the most immediate and common being a longer life or wounds healing faster than normal; there might have been other long time effects but the only trait that stayed even after their disappearance is the ear shapes
(there was a mass extinction event of demons that wiped out all above a certain age, since demons generally dont die of natural causes their life neither depends nor revolves around reproduction so there were extremely few left and those were too young to keep most of their knowledge and culture alive, as they rarely wrote anything down; Shargon is of the current oldest generation and witnessed it happen, just like most now adult demons, Thor and Eadrya are both a bit older than him and thus the oldest living demons, which doesnt mean much considering the technically endless lifespans of them)
and to explain me including Shargon in a human appearance- hes the only demon that spends as much time in the human world as at home, largely to escape the others since they are not interested in going there and would otherwise attack him any chance they get (the human world is rather uncomfortable for demons to be in and they have better things to do than to chase him that far), while hes generally very weak compared to them, something he is very good at is shape shifting, mainly the speed of which, being able to shift between full demon and the smaller more humanoid form extremely quickly, or even mid forms that are a mix of both - even in motion! while for the others it takes them quite a bit and forces them to stop which is the main reason he keeps escaping them not able to keep up with his rapid shape shifting (though it does take its toll .. also a reason hes so skinny)
he is the first (only?) one that at some point will learn how to shift into a much more human looking one (depicted in the sketch) too, but its rather dangerous since it involves supressing and compressing his demon heart and system... which is what keeps demons alive (its somewhat like holding your breath for way too long) so the only time he would make use of it is in extreme situations, like avoiding detection by maschines that can pick up demonic energy or escaping shackles made of celestial silver (which drains their energy and can scar/hurt them permanently, like silver to vampires(?werewolfs?) in a way)
....the point is that if he shifts into a human form he has very long ears, meaning that is basically the extreme form that doesnt occur in humans and hints at the origins for those ear shapes being demonic exposure in the past
#ganondoodles#art#original characters#original art#oc#ocs#oc lore#man i cant ever keep it short can i#its 1am again ............#welll i hope that answers your question njdflndflnjlsd#also as a sidenote- zaphira and midas are siblings but not biologically#she was adopted into the royal family and is good chunk older than midas as he was born a while after shes been there#he was supposed to take the throne after their parents died in an allegedly accidental fire but he was like ... 6 at the time#and begged her to take up the throne instead despite the people not being very fond of her due to her agressive nature#.... which was proven correct in a way given she waged war for many years after taking up the crown#(.. bc she found out their parents were killed by a neighbouring country and the fire placed to get rid of traces)#(no one but her and a few officials knew of that being the real reason she attacked that country and not just a lust for power)#(midas still doesnt know -even now)#( though it got out of control and she ended up taking over multiple countries .. hence her title)#(after her wife died she swore to never engage in war again and been spending the last .. 20?30? years trying to repair the damage she did)#just adding that again bc its kinda central to her entire problem of everyone and their grandmother wanting her dead#and her being determined to do as much as she can before midas has to take over and pick up the pieces#..............though none of it goes as planned of course#ANYWAY i need sleep#sorry for the long text spam#i cant help but yap about my special lil guys
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‘What is she looking at?’
I haven’t had time to post anything lately, I’m hoping to be more active here in a couple weeks after the play I’m in is over, just a very busy time for me rn.
#remus lupin#remadora#nymphadora tonks#harry potter#art#otp#remus and tonks#tonks#I haven’t been able to get a full nights sleep in weeks#pls I just need one day to myself#it’s been a rough week#I recently found out my best friend is moving across the country possibly permanently and I’m a mess#and it’s worse cause he just got back from a six month trip to said place and I could barely handle that#and I kinda caught feelings realizing how much I missed him and now he’s leaving again in 4 months#I need to stop venting on here lol
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what if i wrote a twisters au……….
#storm chaser eddie diaz loses his wife trying to capture tornado data realises it’s too dangerous now that he’s a single parent#packs up his life and son and moves from north texas tornado country to LA takes a desk job#one of his old buddies calls him up tells him they’ve got new tech and can really study tornadoes now#but. they need someone who Knows storm chasing to do it#it could change everything it could keep people safe he just has to get them the data. one week.#enter: hotshot cowboy scientist tornado wrangler evan buckley#with his stupid hat and stupid sunshine smile and stupid heart of gold under all that nonsense#is he taking risks for the hell of it. putting himself in danger for internet clout and attention#or if eddie looks a little closer is that all going to fall away. someone smart and silly and only wanting to help#because buck and his friends are there Before During and most importantly After every disaster. making sure everyone’s taken care of#and maybe with him in eddie’s corner eddie can figure it out this time#can make it so he doesn’t always have to worry about his family being in danger of natural disaster#and maybe he can keep buck with his dumb jokes and giant heart and boneheaded bravery#ok sorry i’ve seen twisters three times in the last week i cant stop thinking about it#will maybe scribble some of this down when i have a minute#n
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I love how we prefer to imagine and, even more than that, hope that the public votes are wrong and manipulated, because we do not want to think so many people may be terrible and ignore the distress human beings are going through at this very moment.
Antisemitism my ass, being sensitive to people’s suffering is just called being human.
#eurovision 2024#eurovison song contest#eurovision#.#what is said is said#323 f points#sorry mutuals#I usually never talk about those kind of topics#but I’m disgusted#and I need to vent#it breaks my heart#I always thought about how Palestine#was just getting erased#and no one was talking about it#before the conflict broke out#and now they’re getting killed#and our countries support who?#the one that kills#at this rate#just bring Russia in the Eurovision#they may win#kidding of course#the best world would be them both out#it’s just goes over my head#sorry
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Holy shit i have the capability to draw things for my favourite fanfic authors!!!
Here’s a quick sketch for that lovely author who wrote that absolutely lovely vampire thorin fanfic inspired by wwdits
#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#thilbo#gandalf#i may have realized that i can draw and gift stuff to my favourite fanfic authors#but i do not have the courage to tag them here#i may cry if the see this but i saw they were having a low mood earlier p#still out of country but i got my room now and i snuck in a bit of quick sketch for them#asdfghdkkdncjksknd im sorry i get very nervous interacting directly with people#i hope they see this the same way people used to put messages in bottles and throw them at sea#in the hopes that maybe someone woould read their message at the right time and know that despite the distance someone exists and cares#whoever you are reading these tags i hope you’re having s better day than you did a few hours from now#*virtual hug*#yknow maybe gandalf gave bilbo to thorin coz he thought they both needed a big hug or smthn#my art
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post yamaha divorce (pt 2) jorge and valentino u r special 2 ME
#it's so funny how valentino kinda grew progressively fonder of jorge after each time they feuded#valentino when he comes across socially awkward troubled teen in-desperate-need-of-positive-role-models jorge: I Do Not Care For This Child#valentino after feuding jorge so badly they caused geiger counters to be sold out across several european countries: ah he's all right yeah#//#brr brr#i also like how. given the general tone of 2016.#they were both going 'yeah i'm sure our relationship will get better when we're no longer teammates :)'#it's a charming level of self awareness where you do also want to be like. i mean you guys could just be normal towards each other now#wall tag
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welp… guess I’m not coming out for the next four years either :)
#personal#us elections#may I just say as a queer woman and poc but most importantly someone who missed the age cutoff to be able to vote#I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt more helpless than in this moment#like I’m at the age right now where I’m planning for things like moving out of my family home#That means in the next four years it’s very feasible for me to get r*ped and need my reproductive rights#It’s very feasible for me to find another woman who I want to spend my life with for which I need my right to equal marriage#And it’s very feasible for me to want to walk down the street without getting fucking shot for which I need my right to fucking live??#And just sitting through the past 9 or so hours watching my country put a man in office#Who would look at me and probably not even consider me a full human?#Or think I deserve all those rights?#A man who I don’t think is going to protect those rights?#I’m the kind of person who will never stop having faith in this country no matter what state of shittholery it’s in#Because if you look at our history we’ve had way bigger assholes than this guy and come out surviving#But I’m scared yall#I’m genuinely really scared
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a lil prompt for the few dp x marvel gremlins around. i see you and ily.
Be Like Danny:
-> get contacted by the X-freaking-Men to try to get you to join their school for mutants
-> say no because you can’t explain that you’re technically not a mutant, just half-dead
-> live a normal (Fenton standard normal) few months afterwards
-> get kidnapped from your own school by evil scientists (that surprisingly are NOT the GIW)
-> escape facility using your sheer wits (being annoying) and ingenious fighting strategies (screaming and blasting)
-> run away across rooftops from the guards hunting you down while being injured (and holy shit are we in new york??)
-> get distracted by trying to spot the empire state building
-> get shot with a tranquilizer by aforementioned guards
-> painfully fall down into an alleyway, without seeing the empire state building (boo)
-> begin passing out but not before you see some red guy with literal horns (satan??) fight off the baddies after you
-> wake up hours later in satan’s lawyer’s (???) office, confused, dazed, and a little scared
-> pretend to still be passed out while desperately thinking up how to explain why guys with guns were chasing you down in the middle of new york without getting dragged off to the police
-> hope for the best
Random Excerpt-
Matt didn’t feel comfortable leaving the tranq’d (and fully knocked out) teen out in an abandoned alley. Very few people would, out here in Hell’s Kitchen. He also didn’t feel like bringing in a potential new problem into his home, so he decided on the next best place: the office.
Needless to say, Foggy was scared near shitless when Matt burst into their office in full Daredevil regalia with an unconscious boy in his arms. In Matt’s defense, Foggy wasn’t supposed to be here. He sent out a small thanks to God that at least Karen was nowhere to be seen. Heard. Semantics.
“Is that a kid? Oh my god, Matty, are you carrying a dead kid around? Is there a dead kid in our office?”
Language, Matt bit back.
Foggy’s heart beat a violent staccato as he followed Matt into their conference room, breathing stuttering when Matt laid the kid down on the table and his head turned limply to the side, his hair softly shuffling against the metal.
“Matt!”
Foggy waved his hands around wildly, the sound fluttering in Matt’s ears. Without a word, he grabbed Foggy’s arm and dragged him out of the room.
“Please keep calling me by my name in front of a stranger,” he hissed out, annoyed.
“In case it may have passed your attention, that stranger is unconscious. Or dead, for all I know! Because you haven’t said a damn word since you slammed your way in here by the way!” Foggy was whisper shouting, staying close to Matt’s side. He could almost see how Foggy’s eyes were wide, if he tried hard enough. Listened closely enough.
“He’s not dead,” he let out before walking to the front door to lock it and make sure no one was around.
There was a light slap sound as Foggy raised his hands in a pointless gesture and brought them against his legs.
“Oh, yeah, that’s reassuring,” he said to himself, but not bothering to hide it. Matt heard him walk back to the conference room. He held back a sigh, ignoring it for the time being. There hadn’t been anyone following them, but he’s been doing this long enough to know that some people knew how to keep their distance well, or even knew how to disguise their heart beats (God forbid the Hand had any involvement in this). They could even have a tracker on the kid.
Taking all of this into consideration, he would rather be safe than sorry. He was standing by the locked door, listening intently for any odd sounds outside the building or on any surrounding roofs. Like the same footsteps going by, feet shuffling as though someone was waiting, heavy breathing, the smell of gunpowder, or the sound of a bullet moving into its chamber.
He waited, hearing no signs. It was one minute before he heard the exact moment Foggy found the kid’s pulse.
“Matt,” he heard Foggy’s voice, a whisper. “He-he’s dead. He- oh my god, I’m going to be sick.
The kid’s pulse, or to anyone checking by regular means, lack thereof.
Matt waited one more second before moving away from the door to save himself from the stench of throw-up.
“I said he’s not dead.”
#dp x marvel#i will say the original plan for this in my head was for dd to bring spiderman in#spiderman: *investigating a series of teen kidnappings in the city that he connects to a country-wide mutant experimentation conspiracy*#daredevil: hey so guess what#out of pure indulgance deadpool also ends up involved cuz he had been investigating on his own when#he crossed paths with spiderman#daredevil calls spiderman to tell him what happened#immediately regrets it when he hears deadpool’s with him#’nevermind the kid’s dead actually. no need to come over’#’too late we’re on our way already!’#matt @ foggy: we need to burn this place down now and fake our deaths#no idea whether matt actually hates deadpool or not but i just get that vibe
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the bs going on in my life is so horrendously terrible im going to (remembers suicide jokes just serve to help make me more suicidal) kill the authoritarial figures that i once truly knew and loved and trusted that i can no longer offer my true love and trust to due to the harm that they have dealt to me and those that surround us, ultimately allowing those that have been affected by their prejudice and oppression to be free even at the cost of willingly trapping myself in a death timer.
#i couldnt remember how the original joke went word-for-word so heres a shitty paraphrasing of it#ultrakill#yeah this is about gabriel#mel/tav/fugo/marcy rambles#suicide tw#long tags#vent#its also (in a joking way) about how shit my life is atm#i might be physically seperated from my mother but she still demands i stay in contact with her and i just. i cant do that#i hate her. i really hate her.#and i feel like if im going to really get anywhere in life i need to drop out of college and get *Away* from her#because she's too much of a controlling force in my life and she refuses completely to relinquish any of that control#so that i might have any of my own independence#i feel like i need to do something drastic and sudden if i want to live the way ive been longing to for so long now.#which. in my case. id be moving in with one of my online friends across the country#taking as much as i can with me and heading over#ik that might sound bad but ive known them since i was literately 12 and they were like 15 when i met them and i dont trust anyone else#as much as i trust them#and they could wait for me but i Can Not Fucking Wait. i need to get out of here#im sick of waiting for year upon year to get out of this hellhole and get away from my parents#only for me to be unable to really do that.#i just need to break the connection in its entirety.#god. ugh. sisyphus and mirage and gabriel ultrakill please grant me the strength to do this.
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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wow wow wow ok ok ok ok
so im partway through the wardance event in HSR 2.5 and my mind is SPINNING
in particular finishing the most recent main quest with the Borisin, then hearing about Igor Haft of Belobog...
it's FASCINATING to me how the civilizations in HSR seem to not only follow a path that they value, but a path that they need and end up getting very little help from
belobog following the preservation because their small, impoverished planet is constantly under threat of death and destruction... such that very little is actually "preserved" with any success
the xianzhou alliance following the hunt to root out and eliminate their enemies without mercy... only for those same enemies to stir up trouble from within their own ranks, with the xianzhou luofu in particular failing to realize until two major disasters had already been set in motion. and even before then, considering everything implied with dan feng, i doubt this is the first time they've faced internal conflict like this
penacony following the harmony to ensure the happiness and unity of their people, only for what little harmony actually exists to simply cover up the turbulence and suffering belying every luxury... such that the order arose in the first place to deal with what the harmony couldn't, a thick undercurrent of inequality and divisiveness that plagued every worker, every poor soul that saw penacony as their safe haven, their last hope
that those desperate for preservation would come out with so little, with so many wounds. that those desperate to hunt down threats would be perpetually plagued by internal betrayals and setups. that those desperate for harmony, peace, and unity would allow its weak to suffer until the only option left is not prosperity but silence and preconceived "happiness"....
it's just fascinating to me how those following a path actually have the least of it. it's fascinating how the pathstriders of the preservation are on the brink of demise, the pathstriders of the hunt are under threat of ambush, the pathstriders of the harmony struggle to remain united and fair to their people.
#hsr spoilers#hsr#hsr 2.5#im dying. im losing my mind im dying#IVE HAD THIS THOUGHT WITH AVENTURINE SPECIFICALLY BUT. NOW IT'S THE WHOLE COUNTRY (? CITY?) OF BELOBOG#RAAGAGGGHHHHHHHHHH#maybe i shouldn't have said pathstriders but i don't know how to distinguish between individuals vs countries/planets/ships here#anyway whatever im sure it goes for pathstriders too.#WITHIN THIS CONTEXT... the path you follow not being necessarily your determination. but what you want the most#robin following the harmony because of her doubts in her family.. that she wants to CREATE and secure that unity and fairness#aventurine following the preservation because that's all he has left. if he loses anything else he's as good as dead so#all he NEEDS is to hang on to his life. it's all he has it's all he needs. as long as he has that then he can keep moving forward#towards what? who knows. it's one step at a time for him. he's living paycheck to paycheck with his life. he'll figure out why it's#even worth preserving when he gets there.#sampo... wish i knew him better. but for him i think it could be that a certain amount of nihility is necessary to survive his lifestyle#anyway yeah i just. im thinking about it#my post#my posts#don't remember which tag i usually use for that hfndgbd
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