#I had enough time (because last post I did some of yesterday) to draw out some more asks :3

[ask-the-druggieverse]

Who out of everyone eated the drugs the most?? Takes-ed em' Inhalation. Do any of thems takes its together????

- ALT - EDIBLES SWAP: Please don't overdose on edibles SWAP: it's not a healthy coping mechanism (Has heart problems and fatigue now)

POT Dust takes it in consideration (1-4 days), usually when he needs/wants to to chill/relax Horror does pot everyday

HIGH TOGETHER FRESH: Sometimes I join them FRESH: Tho... it's sad that they can no longer become sober

- IDK - If Error and Ink ever become sober the cannabis hangover will be CRAZY (dang forever weed brownie and forever weed paint...)

EDIT: My dumb dumb forgot to add a little message for Swap saying he's sober now :skull:

MAIN: @inkyu

Back | Start | Next

[seaofreverie]

I actually made 9 drawings in 2 days

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[birdbaddie]

I promise

yooooo

literally my first post ever so yippeeeee.

I got inspired by another post on here so I decided to make some glop of my own 😈. Reader's technique is basically just wings and healing, I will go in more depth in future oneshots.

ft. Satoru x f!Reader, mostly platonic!Megumi x f.Reader

Both Satoru and reader are around 20 and Megumi is around 8.

-discusses- violence, injuries, hurt+Comfort, poor baby Megumi needs a hug :( and Satoru being Satoru. Enjoy!

➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵

‘That worthless Tatsuya!’

Megumi kicked a stone as he stomped out of the school gates. Usually he wouldn’t care less when Tatsuya or any of his other goons picked on him but things just kept going wrong for him the past week and to top it off- that rat decided to start talking about you and Satoru and how weird it was that you were his guardians.

“Did you see that tall guy rolling around yesterday because he dropped his ice-cream?”

“Yeah my mom says to avoid them because they are dangerous to everyone”

Megumi didn’t understand when Tatsuya said dangerous. He understood the strength both of his guardians had but he couldn’t have meant that.

“No wonder Megumi is so strange, Do you think he’s as dangerous as his guardians?”

“Let’s not go near him, he can’t hurt anyone if he’s alone”

Megumi would’ve punched those bullies without hesitation but he made a promise with you last week after the 7th home call about his fighting.

“Megumi, you can’t keep doing this. You know that right?” 

He remembers your soft voice and your equally soft hands cleaning the cuts on his hands. He kept quiet though because he knew if he spoke he might’ve either cried or became angry again and that would only make you worry more.

“Listen, I just don’t want you getting hurt. I know you have a good heart and have the right reasons but hitting others is never the right option no matter how right your reason is”

You quickly healed his cuts with your technique and he felt a rush of calmness envelop him, the way it always does when you have to use your technique on him.

“Promise me you will stop doing this, It makes me upset whenever I see even one scratch on you. I know we’re only your guardians but we love you and only want what's best for you, please Megumi….”

He looked at your face for the first time since coming back from school. You had tears ready to fall as you gently gripped his hands. He didn’t know if it was your technique or not but your emotions were always obvious, and with the way your eyebrows were as furrowed as they could be and you biting your lip to stop you from sobbing told him all he needed to know how you were feeling.

And it was all because of him.

“I promise”

Megumi sits on the sidewalk as he waits for you to pick him up. 

It’s been 2 years since you and Gojo took him in and he hates to admit that he’s started getting attached to both of you. Attached enough now that if something happened to you or Gojo and it resulted in both him and Tsumiki getting separated from you two, he would give up on trying altogether. 

Gojo was meant to pick him up today but with a surprise mission all the way in Osaka, it was your job. Tsumiki has been ill all week too so it was just him. 

He sighs and rests his head on his hand as he pretends to draw pictures on the road with his feet. He contemplates releasing his divine dogs to play with or just to keep him company as he waits for you but he decides against it because he thinks you will be there soon anyway. 

You were never late.

➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵

It’s been twenty minutes, where were you?

The sky was beginning to turn orange and he was the only one there.

Did she forget?........ No she never does when it comes to him and Tsumiki.

What if she just left him on purpose?

It wouldn’t have been the first time it's happened. Not with her specifically, but what if she’s just realised she can leave him just like his parents?

Megumi begins to curl in on himself as these thoughts keep coming.

‘What if that fight I was in last week was the final straw?’

His breathing started to become heavy as he willed himself not to cry.

What if that fight last week just revealed other things you didn’t like about him? What if you hated the way he’s only been cold and despondent since you took him in? What if you hated the fact you not only had to look after him but his sister too? What if you wanted to get rid of him because he took the rest of yours and Gojo’s childhood? What if-

“Megumi?”

He didn’t even realise when there was a large shadow blocking him from the harsh rays of the setting sun. And he especially didn’t realise the familiar comforting hand smoothing his hair.

He looks up to see your enormous white wings shielding him from the sun and your concerned eyes as you try and figure out what happened by not so subtly checking him for any injuries.

You reach for his face and he flinches. Your concern only grows as you reach again and wipe his tears away. Another thing he didn’t realise that happened.

“Are you okay?”

Megumi just stares as he once again couldn’t get the words out of his mouth, worried he might say too much.

“Did something happen in school?”

“He can’t hurt anyone if he’s alone”

He felt soft feathers surround him as he heard loud sobs and wailing. The hand that was in his hair went to his back and started rubbing small circles. As heard quiet comforting words come from the woman hugging him.

‘Is that me crying?’

The woman tightens her hug as she feels tiny arms wrap around her.

Megumi mumbled something in your neck so you strained back to hear him.

“What did you say?”

“I'm sorry” 

His voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him.

“Sorry for what gumi?” At this point you were on the verge of calling Satoru to help you with this as you have never seen such a visceral reaction come from this eight year old.

“Please don’t leave us! I promise we’ll be good! I promise we’ll never do anything bad ever again! I promise!-”

“Megumi slow down! No ones leaving you, don’t you remember what I promised you last week?”

Megumi started to calm down as he remembered the rest of your conversation.

“I promise”

You sigh as you both get quiet, with you rubbing his now perfectly healed hands.

“Could you promise me something?”

You look into his eyes with surprise as he asks this. Megumi never asks for anything so it came as a shock, especially when it was as big as a promise.

You smile as you let go of his hands to put the baby wipes back away.

“I guess it’s only fair after I asked you to promise something”

Megumi watches your movements and waits for you to sit back down at the table beside him.

“Could you promise………that you’ll always be here for me and Tsumiki?”

Surprised at his bluntness, you didn’t realise how open Megumi would be tonight. But you just showed him a reassuring smile as you affectionately ruffled his hair.

“Well you’re in luck Gumi, that’s a promise I made to myself the day I met you”

The corners of his lips started to turn up into a smile before the front door burst open with the freak strutting in with the goofiest smile.

A scowl quickly made its way onto his face as he turned away from the idiot making his way over.

“Were you having a family bonding moment without me??? For shame!” satoru quickly threw the medicine for Tsumiki onto the table and decided to plop himself onto Megumi's chair, with Megumi still in it.

“Get off you overgrown lint-roller!” Megumi tries to hit him as Satoru faces you.

“So how was your day Sweets?” Satoru completely ignores the squirming Megumi trying to breathe. 

And as you tried and failed to get Satoru off the complaining Megumi, Megumi realised although right now he’d rather be anywhere else- He also wishes to stay right here with them for as long as the universe would let him.

➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵

By now, Megumi has fully calmed down as you helped him to his feet.

“Satoru will be home tonight and Tsumiki has been looking much better today, so why don’t we go and get some ice cream for later, hm?”

And as Megumi grabs your hand to start walking to the convenience store he realises he’ll never be alone as long as you, Satoru and Tsumiki were always with him. He doesn’t have to worry about any of you guys leaving him because you want him as much as he wants you. Screw what everyone else thinks, your little family works and no one could change that.

“Thank you, mom”

[starleska]

Hello again!! I'm the anon from before (and I'm glad to hear you had a nice time yesterday!!!), and here's what I wrote.. I've been thinking a lot about the 'Wally eats with his eyes' idea, as many have been !!! I'm not sure how to warn for what this exactly so feel free to tag it with whatever you deem necessary. Wally just. Likes you a lot lol. i guess this is a little silly but i had a good time writing it haha

You are having a staring contest with your friend Wally.

You can't quite remember who started this, or why. Just that Wally had wanted to draw somewhere outside and you tagged along with him, until you were sitting somewhere in a field of flowers around the Neighbourhood.

Wally simply returns your gaze, unblinking, his hands folded over on top of his sketchbook. You think this has lasted long enough. What you want to do is crack a smile or a joke, but you find that your muscles are frozen stiff, and your tongue is so, so heavy.

His pupils expand.

You're supposed to panic about being this frozen up. Moving shouldn't be so difficult. But it's like your body feels like even stressing out about this is too much effort. You feel warm. Your eyelids tremble with the effort to blink. There is no movement, though your eyes don't burn either. You've held them open for so long that the world starts to gray out around you.

His pupils expand.

Wally leans his head to the side, little by little. You mirror his movements without thinking. The tips of your fingers are tingling, your feet feel numb as if fallen asleep. He smiles at you even more than usual. You think that this makes you happy. His lips part slowly, as if to speak, and-

"Hiya, guys!" Eddie calls out from the path to your right.

Your body jolts in surprise, and the spell is broken. By the time you whip your head around to look, Eddie has already continued his delivery route without waiting for a response.

Your returned awareness feels like breaking the surface after almost drowning. A weight disappears from your body, and you practically double over, gasping for air. Your shoulders are shaking, your eyes wide. When you squeeze them shut, it burns. You feel tired like you never have before.

"That was good," Wally says. For a moment, you are hesitant to turn your head back and look at him. You want to hide from his eyes. But you snuff that thought out as soon as it pops up, because that's just silly. You must've eaten something wrong, or have caught a cold. What else could explain this.

You look at Wally. He looks normal, and his eyes upon

"W-what did you say?"

"I asked: Are you feeling good?" Wally speaks even slower than he otherwise would, but his smile is as wide as ever. "You don't look good, friend."

"I don't… I'm a little out of it," you force out a laugh. "I think I'm getting sick."

Wally leans forward.

"You'll be okay," he says, and puts a hand on your knee. "Let's sit here until you feel better."

!!!!!! anon!!!! anon do you know how good this is?!?! oh my gosh!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 honey, i cannot express how much i adore this fic. it's such a wonderful blend of terror and intimacy, so frightening and claustrophobic yet warm and safe in a way you can't understand...ugh, i'm in love 🥴 your descriptions are so vivid - i could really feel Your panic and nausea. some real Lovecraftian horror stuff going on in here. and oh my God the little detail of him saying, 'That was good' and then switching to 'Are you feeling good?' absolute chills!!! 😱😱 if you feel comfortable enough, you should absolutely post your writing somewhere!! you've got such a talent for writing, Wally in particular, and i'd love to read more of your stuff should you be inclined. i'll definitely be taking some tips from this awesome little fic going forward 😉 thank you so much for sharing 🥰

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 12

Summary: After returning home from town, Maggie tries to convince Y/N not to approach her father about the information that Beau found fearing that it will end badly.

Characters: Negan, Maggie, the reader (OC), Hershel, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/134032210

Warnings: Swearing, severe angst, some smuttiness, etc.

Notes: There are only two more chapters after this one. I wanted to post this yesterday, but I fell asleep. Thank you to those that take the time to comment. It means a lot to me.

“Hey Y/N,” Maggie stepped into the kitchen a few minutes after she saw Y/N disappear from their group. When they had returned home to the farm it had started snowing again so everyone was freezing. That led to them all socializing by the fire in the living room to warm up. It seemed like everyone was taking part. Everyone, but Y/N that was. It took a while for Maggie to be able to sneak away from the group, but when she got the chance she slipped away in order to go see her younger sister. Once she caught sight of her sister, Maggie stopped and clasped her fingers together before her. Y/N was standing at one of the corners of the kitchen, her hands braced against the counter with her head dropped down. By her body language, Maggie could tell that something was going on and it wasn’t good. After hearing Maggie calling out to her, she didn’t respond much other than to raise her head and look back over her shoulder. Maybe it was because Maggie was just starting to pay attention to things, but she could see in Y/N’s features that she looked miserable. “Are you okay?”  

It genuinely looked like Y/N was so incredibly overwhelmed, “Not really, Maggie.”

Hearing that took Maggie aback. At the ice rink everything seemed alright, so to see this sudden change shocked her. Turning slowly on her heel, Y/N faced Maggie and leaned back into the corner of the cabinets. Bracing her weight on her hands, Y/N felt drained both physically and mentally after the last few days.

“What happened?” Maggie inquired, pushing her hands into her pockets suddenly feeling awkward about coming to approach her sister.

“It really doesn’t matter,” Y/N rejected her sister’s attempt at trying to start a conversation about her feelings. With what Y/N had been feeling lately, she knew that Maggie was the last person she should really be talking to. “What’s up Maggie?”

“I just wanted to come talk to you,” Maggie explained thinking back on the conversation that Negan had with her at the ice rink. It made her think about their father and she started to wonder if something happened when Maggie wasn’t around. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? Did daddy do something while we were out today?”

“I don’t think you want to hear this,” Y/N confessed to her older sister, her words drawing Maggie further into the kitchen. “I don’t think you want to take part with things when it involves our father and I’m okay with that. I know how you feel about him. I respect you enough not to involve you.”

“Listen,” Maggie started, her face draining of color when she thought of what to say next. “I know I haven’t been the best sister. I’m still making mistakes to this day and some people have brought that to my attention lately. That’s really the last thing I want to happen between the two of us. I don’t feel like daddy does about you.”

“Yeah, but he’s your hero and I know it’s hard to see that someone you love makes mistakes,” Y/N suggested with a frown. Really, she couldn’t blame Maggie. Their father went above and beyond for Maggie. Why would Maggie feel the need to think negatively of Hershel? She wouldn’t. “You should really go back with everyone else. I want to talk to dad about things and I’m trying to figure out how.”

“What about?” Maggie pushed for answers trying to make some kind of motion to clear things up between them. “I think as sisters we should learn to talk more. There are some things that I want to talk to you about tonight too. Maybe the two of us could just go upstairs together right now and we could share a night together just talking. I think we need that.”

“That sounds nice Maggie, but right now isn’t a good time. Maybe tomorrow?” Y/N offered realizing that Maggie was doing her best to try and make something happen between the two of them. “That way I can talk to dad tonight and then tomorrow we can spend time doing the things that you want. After our family’s plans of course.”

“Fine, we can do that,” Maggie shrugged her shoulders, her throat tensing up when Y/N looked back toward the things that she had on the counter. Observing the book from where she was standing, Maggie found herself interested in finding out what it was. “You’ve piqued my interest Y/N. What do you have going on?”

“You really want to know?” Y/N double checked, her hand sliding back on the counter to place it in over the book that was there. “You might not be happy with what I show you and what I have to say.”

“I’m here and I’m not leaving,” Maggie articulated with a nod, stepping in closer to Y/N. “What’s this? What’s going on?”

“I’ve been trying to think of a way to approach dad,” Y/N informed Maggie, sliding further aside pointing toward the book that was there. “I have to talk to him, but I’m not sure what to say or how to word things.”

“About what?” Maggie spoke, stepping before the withered photo booklet. Like everyone else, the burning that was done to it had caught her attention with her fingers dragging across the material. Opening up the cover, a photo of Y/N’s mother was the first thing that she had seen. Confusion flooded into Maggie’s green eyes, when she grabbed a hold of the photo to look it over. Realization started to sink in when Maggie turned the photo to look at the name that was on the back. Lifting her head, Maggie gazed between the photo and her younger sister. “This is your mother?”

“It is,” Y/N answered, her throat going dry thinking about that photo. No matter how many times she saw these photos, it took her breath away every single time. After this long of never having an image in her head of her mother she finally had one now.

“You look so much like her,” Maggie commented, sucking at her bottom lip when she set the photo down and started flipping through the pages of the photo book.

“I do,” Y/N agreed with Maggie. Both Negan and Beau confirmed that with her last night. And she had eyes. She could see it too.

Flipping through the pages, it was clear that Maggie was bewildered trying to understand what she was seeing before her, “Where did you find this?”

“Beau found it in the attic. I think he was trying to find a photo of her for me for Christmas,” Y/N recalled what Negan’s son had told her. “Our father has a hiding place upstairs in the attic under some loose floorboards.”

“Beau found this?” Maggie confirmed, pointing at one of the pages and it was like she had a hard time believing that. “How did Negan’s son find something like this in only a few days when we lived here most of our childhoods and we never found anything on your mom?”

“I don’t know?” Y/N was flustered that was how Maggie was approaching things. “I guess Beau was just lucky. It’s obviously real Maggie.”

“Oh, I agree with you,” Maggie stopped on the photo that was of her, Y/N’s mother, Hershel and Y/N as a baby. “I guess this makes sense with all the questions he was asking me about your mother. I told him that I remembered a woman that was between my mom and Annette, but I was younger. I really didn’t have a memory of much.”

“I feel like dad persuaded you to forget,” Y/N proposed the idea and it made Maggie frown. “This goes against everything he’s said Maggie. All the things he told me about my mother were fake. Why would he lie this whole time?”

“I don’t know,” Maggie huffed, stepping back and away from the book to meet Y/N’s stare that was on her. Folding her arms in front of her chest, Maggie tried to come up with something, but was lost for words. “I’m sure there is a reason why he did what he did. Daddy wouldn’t lie just to be malicious so he could treat you like shit.”

“Maggie,” Y/N frowned, pinching the bridge of her nose. Pausing, she didn’t know if she had the strength to combat her sister about their father. “I understand that you always want to think the best of dad. I get that and I can’t fault you for that, but we can’t pretend that this is okay because it’s not. I know you saw the way he always treated me, always labeling me as a mistake. Telling me that I was something he didn’t know about until it was too late, but he did. These photos show that and things aren’t adding up.”

“I hate to say this Y/N,” Maggie started, her eyes closing when she took in a sharp breath, “but who cares?”

“Who cares?” Y/N repeated, her tone breaking when Maggie’s eyes opened, but it seemed like she refused to actually look at Y/N right now. “I care. Dad’s excuse to treat me like shit my whole life was that I was his mistake. His one night stand that he should have never had. In those photos you can see that he loved my mother. That they were engaged and they were happy. Why did he lie to me? Why did he keep her from me? And why did he use his lie as an excuse to treat me the way that he did?”

“I’m not trying to sound like a bad sister here,” Maggie mouthed attempting to reach out to touch Y/N, but Y/N wouldn’t let her. It made Maggie frown seeing that her sister didn’t want to be comforted in any fashion. “I hate that everything leads back to our father. It always has.”

“What are you trying to say?” Y/N pressed her sister to keep talking and Maggie looked so uncomfortable being put on the spot.

“I just think it’s time to finally let things go,” Maggie implied, her jaw clenching when she outstretched her hands to place them over Y/N’s shoulders. If anything, that made Y/N even more emotional with tears burning at her eyes. “You and daddy have been fighting for as long as I can remember. It’s been years since whatever happened with your mother happened. Does it really matter anymore?”

“Maggie,” Y/N had to pause to try to stop herself from crying because that was really the last thing she wanted right now. “I know you don’t understand or maybe you just don’t want to think about it, but our father broke me. I almost thought of taking my own life when I was younger, it was that bad and those thoughts never left me. I thought I didn’t belong here and it’s because of dad. I felt like I was an error that was being abused because I shouldn’t have happened, but it was clearly something he knew about. And the way he has treated me has always stemmed from the lies that he told me. That he told all of us.”

“I can empathize with how you feel Y/N,” Maggie stressed, sliding her hands down over Y/N’s arms to try to comfort her in any fashion that she could. “But you escaped things and you made something of yourself. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“I do my best to hide how I have felt Maggie, but mental health doesn’t work like that. It’s not something I can just turn off,” Y/N clarified for her sister, her voice breaking when she thought about her past. “Because of the way that I was treated when I was younger, I have dad’s voice in the back of my mind. Always telling me that I don’t belong. That I’m a mistake. That I’m not worthy of the things that I have or I’m not good enough.”

“Then go to a psychiatrist Y/N,” Maggie dropped her hands down at her sides finding Y/N to be a little overwhelming at this moment. “A professional is going to be able to help you a whole lot more than approaching dad on the subject will.”

“You don’t think I’ve done that since I’ve left?” Y/N scoffed, shocked to hear her sister’s counter response. “Maggie, I’ve been in therapy since the moment I could afford it. I constantly have to fight that voice in my head to stop my thoughts from swallowing me whole. The fact that I even was able to make something of myself in an industry that is so hard on women and so heavily focused on other’s critiques is even a surprise in itself.”

“It shows that you are stronger than you think,” Maggie urged her to realize the positives. “Can’t you see the good in it? You are stronger than most people because you did all of that with all of this weighing on your shoulders. It’s Christmas Y/N, why do you want to have this conversation with daddy before Christmas?”

“I’m leaving the day after Christmas Maggie,” Y/N reminded Maggie of her plans that she had already made. “I think I deserve some answers. Some kind of explanation of why he hid things from me and put together this elaborate lie instead of being honest.”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve,” Maggie continued on with what she was saying previously. “Let the family have a good holiday and then the two of you can talk things out.”  

Instead of saying anything, Y/N looked away from Maggie and swallowed down hard. It was hard hearing these things from Maggie, but she wasn’t about to fight with her, “I’m not saying this to upset you Y/N. I’m just being honest. We both know daddy enough to know that it’s not going to go well. We know how he is. Why put yourself through that and ruin your holiday?”

“Because it’s all I can think about,” she reasoned with Maggie, still keeping her head down because she was having a hard time talking about this in general. “I just don’t understand it and I think I deserve some answers.”

“It’s already hard enough,” Maggie conceded trying to reach for Y/N’s hands to hold them, but she was frozen against Maggie’s touch. “It’s just going to start a fight. The two of you are going to get angry with one another. Let’s try to make it through the holiday without having things explode on us. Okay?”

Silence followed. How was Y/N supposed to respond to that?

“Tonight has kind of been…extreme for me, so please just come upstairs with me and talk to me?” Maggie implored trying to reach out to her sister. Squeezing her fingers tightly around Y/N’s had Maggie tipping her head down trying to get Y/N’s eyes to meet hers. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about some things and I think after the night I’ve had today, I think we need to talk. I know it sounds greedy, I know that it’s bad, but I really could use my sister. So could we please hold this off and wait until after the holiday?”

“Hold what off?” Hershel’s voice surprised the both of them when he walked into the kitchen to hear the tail end of their discussion. He stepped into the corner, his arms folding out in front of his chest when Maggie looked between the two of them. “Everyone headed upstairs to bed. I figured I would let the two of you know.”

“That’s good to know,” Maggie thought aloud her expression almost begging Y/N to let things go. “Let’s go upstairs together. You can come in my room so we can talk for a while and then you can go to bed. Some sleep might be good for us. Don’t you think? Give us time to let things linger and we can decide if it’s really the best decision.”

Turning away from Maggie, Y/N closed the photo book and covered it with her jacket to hide it from their father. Considering what Maggie asked of her, Y/N was careful in the way that she picked the book up and held it close to her body.

“What’s going on?” Hershel picked up on the tension between them, but neither Maggie nor Y/N was quick to answer. “Maggie?”

“It’s nothing,” Maggie exclaimed trying to put a barrier between Hershel and Y/N. When Y/N turned on her heel, Maggie extended her hand and motioned down to it hoping that Y/N would take it. “Come on honey. Join me upstairs and then we can have a girl’s night together. I need to talk to you. Really bad. I need you.”

“Maggie,” Y/N felt a lump growing in her throat when she looked to Maggie’s hand and then their father. Guilt was eating away at her knowing that Maggie was desperate to have her forget everything. “I’m sorry Maggie, I just really need to talk to him.”

“Go upstairs Maggie,” Hershel motioned for his older daughter to go ahead with everyone else upstairs. “If she wants to talk to me, we’ll talk. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’m sorry daddy, but this is more important to me,” Maggie grumbled under her breath refusing to lower her hand. Tears were actually burning at Y/N’s eyes and forming at the corners of them, but Maggie was trying to pull out everything to avoid this confrontation between them. “Come on.”

Extending her hand out, Y/N accepted Maggie’s hand and gave her a nod. A sigh of relief filled the air when Maggie lowered their hands and led Y/N toward the door. Instead of picking herself, Y/N picked Maggie after hearing her pleas. Making it out of the kitchen, Maggie gasped when Hershel put his hand up between the two of them against the doorframe to stop Y/N from leaving with her.

“Please daddy, just let it go,” Maggie begged of her father, her green eyes pleading with Hershel in this moment. “For me.”

“Goodnight Maggie,” Hershel ignored Maggie’s request, his throat tensing with Y/N standing before him with her eyes locked on his.

“Please move your arm,” Y/N was quiet, doing her best to follow through with what Maggie asked of her. “I’d like to go up with Maggie. We can talk another day.”

Shaking his head, Hershel slid his hand down further making it damn near impossible for her to leave, “I said go to bed Maggie.”

“Daddy,” Maggie breathed out catching the glare that Hershel gave her when she kept trying to stop this from happening. Finally releasing Y/N’s hand had Maggie frowning, her eyes glancing to Y/N who looked mentally defeated already. Sadness flooded Maggie’s features before she gave a small nod and finally headed up the stairs leaving the two of them alone.

Being trapped in the kitchen with Hershel was already intimidating with how he had done what he just did, “By the look on your face I can only imagine the kind of conversation the two of us are going to be having right now. What is it now? I’ve left you alone all day. We all just had a nice time out with our family. Today was a good day. So what could you possibly be this miserable about?”

“Don’t worry about it dad,” Y/N encouraged her father to let things go. “Maggie asked something of me, so I’m just going to head to bed. I hope you have a good night.”

“No, that’s not going to work with me,” Hershel stated firmly, keeping his hand in place to block her from leaving. “There is something that you want to talk about so why don’t you just say it. Go ahead Y/N.”

“Fine, I just wanted to talk to you about my mother,” Y/N whispered, finally locking eyes with Hershel who tipped his head to the side. Instead of just jumping right in, she figured she would give Hershel the chance to change things around for her. “I was thinking with it being Christmas time, maybe you could talk to me about her.”

“What is there to talk about?” Hershel finally lowered his arm and shoved his hands into his pockets. Disappointed, Y/N sighed and forced herself to look away from Hershel. “We’ve talked about your mother extensively. There isn’t much to say Y/N. It was a moment of vulnerability that I had, I made a mistake, I wasn’t thinking. That’s it.”

“That’s what you always told me,” Y/N accepted that it was always his answer, but she wasn’t okay with it. A broken breath fell from her parted lips and she weakly smiled. “I was your biggest mistake. The thing that you never wanted. And you let me know it over and over again.”

“You have a very different recognition of things young lady,” Hershel defended, his expression showing that he was angry. It was very quiet downstairs and she knew it was just the two of them alone. “I cared for you. You had a roof over your head. You were given things. You didn’t suffer. You didn’t starve. You weren’t out on the streets. You were pampered. And you were always too greedy to realize that. This depression that you’ve come up with over the years to villainize me is something else.”

“You’re right. You did keep me alive,” she agreed with Hershel, her throat feeling like it was about to close up with how upset she was. “It was the things that you said dad. How you were with me compared to Maggie and Beth hurt. You always told me that I was the one that you never wanted. The one that got thrown on you. Any time I upset you or didn’t do what you wanted, I was reminded that I was the problem. I still have memories of being a child and hurting myself. The only person that ever cared for me was Annette. You always coddled Beth and Maggie, but with me you always snubbed me.”

“What do you want me to say?” Hershel queried, throwing his hand up when she finally broke and tears started sliding down her face. “You were a mistake Y/N, but when you were brought to me, I took you in. I took care of you and I gave you a life. You’ve been nothing but a gigantic problem your whole life. It was always something with you. You gave up the tournaments with the horses. You were so stubborn and disrespectful. And it never changed.”

“Do you wish I never happened? Since it makes you look bad having a daughter with a one-night stand?” Y/N wondered feeling her heart hammering inside of her chest. Hershel’s face grew red and he exhaled loudly. “You always let me know that I was the one that didn’t belong because you never had a connection with my mother.”

“Do you know why I prefer Beth and Maggie?” Hershel avoided her question, his jaw clenching when he leaned further back against the wall to brace himself. Nothing came from his middle daughter and Hershel shrugged his shoulders. “Because they are better than you. They listen. They aren’t quitters. They don’t make me out to be some villain because I didn’t love them the way that they wanted.”

“Because you always let them know they were loved,” she bickered, her voice breaking when she clung tighter to her things. It was one thing to think it, but another to hear it from him that he thought Maggie and Beth were better than her. “Maggie and Beth never had to go to bed at night wondering if their existence was a mistake. I deserved just as much love as Maggie did. I understand that she is your favorite. She often is everyone’s favorite because…”

“Because she’s better,” Hershel interrupted her causing her words to come to an immediate stop. “Everyone sees it. So what if you have a better job? You aren’t happy, are you? Did you find that happiness that you were looking for when you left here Y/N? Since you were going to harm yourself if you didn’t find that found family?”

Hearing her father mocking her had her body trembling at how awful he was actually being to her about things.

“Honey, everyone always liked Maggie better because she was a good girl. She didn’t hide herself away from everyone,” Hershel lectured Y/N throwing his hand up in the direction of the second floor. “Maggie found herself a man that while I’m not his biggest fan has two children. He has a solid job. You’re engaged to a pizza delivery boy. One that in my opinion seems to be fonder of Maggie too.”

“What?” she half laughed her voice becoming raspy at what Hershel was throwing on her. “What’s wrong with Glenn being a pizza delivery boy? A job is a job dad. That doesn’t determine something good or bad about me.”

“I don’t think you are understanding here honey,” Hershel countered with a shake of his head. “You’re the problem. You blame me. You blame your family, but you’re missing that you are the problem. Not me. If it was me, you would have found happiness by now. Instead you’re engaged to someone who is nothing. Someone who doesn’t even connect with you on a mental level.”  

“Okay,” Y/N slurred out, the tears burning at her eyes hearing her father dig everything in further. “Do you ever blame yourself for anything? For lying to me? For creating a story that wasn’t true?”

“Lying to you?” Hershel snorted, his head tipping to the side. “So now I’m not only an abuser, but I’m also a liar? You sure do have a lot of nerve to accuse…” Hershel’s words came to a stop when Y/N pulled her jacket away from the photo book that Beau had found. When his eyes fell upon it, his words came to a stop and he let out a shuddering breath. “Where did you find that?”

Stepping back and away from Hershel, she flipped to the page where her mother was pregnant and a younger version of her father had his hand placed over her mother’s pregnant belly, “I don’t know dad, it looks like you kind of knew my mother all along. And you actually look happy here…”

“Give me that,” Hershel demanded and she shook her head, flipping to the photo that was at the end of the book. “You have no business looking at that.”

“You know, my mother looks really good for the walking dead,” Y/N mocked her father since he had told her that she had died in childbirth and he had nothing to do with her. “Why did you lie to me? Why did you treat me the way you did when you weren’t even telling the truth? You look happy in these photos. You look like you loved my mother and you actually loved me. What went wrong dad? Why is it when my mother died you decided to honor her by treating me like the outcast? Do you think she would be happy with the way that you’ve treated me?”

“Give me that,” Hershel repeated what he said earlier. Closing the book, she placed it under her arm and denied his request. “You have no right to that.”

“I have every right to this and I always did,” Y/N asserted, clinging tightly to the material. “You tried to erase my mother and you did. You created a horrible story to hide something that was obviously beautiful and I think I deserve an answer.”

“You deserve nothing,” Hershel snapped at her, his tone getting angrier when he stepped in closer to her. “I owe you nothing,”

“I shouldn’t have found out about this from Negan’s son finding it in the attic,” Y/N declared, her own voice raising while they fought with one another. “It should have been you telling me about my past. It should have been you telling me about my mother. It should have been you…I deserved to be just as loved as Beth and Maggie because you clearly loved my mother too.”

Hershel’s face was red, his eyes tearing over almost hinting that he was getting upset with having to hold back on everything, “I deserve answers.”

“I want you out tomorrow morning,” Hershel whispered, his fists clenching at his sides when he gazed to the book that was in her hand. “I don’t want you here. I never did. You can take that book and you can take that boy with you for all I care.”

“I’m not leaving until…” she began only to have Hershel step before her in attempts to be intimidating.

“You’re leaving tomorrow. I want nothing to do with you,” Hershel was seething, his tears burning at his eyes. “I want you gone. I don’t want you here for Christmas. I didn’t want you back in the first place. You get your things and you leave. Do you understand me? I never want to see you again. You’ve ruined Christmas. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“I hear you. Loud and clear,” she whispered behind tears herself, nodding her head slowly. “I’ll give you exactly what you want Hershel,” she looked down toward the ground licking her lips while she tried to keep herself calm. At this point he didn’t deserve to have her call him dad. “I’ll be gone by afternoon tomorrow. And you can burn everything that has me in your life too. Heaven knows you want to. This mistake will correct itself. I’m sorry I disappointed you so much.”

Heading for the stairs she could hear Hershel standing at the entrance of the kitchen to watch her going upstairs and she let out a shuddering breath, “All I ever wanted was for you to love me, but you decided long before I was even capable of understanding things that you never would.”

That was the last thing she was going to say to her father. Getting up the stairs, instead of heading for her room she immediately went upstairs to Negan’s room, locking the door behind her once she made it to the stairs. Climbing up them, she stopped when she saw that Negan was sitting at the center of the bed in just a pair of pajama pants. He was wearing his thick, black framed glasses while he was reading something.

Dropping the things in her hands made Negan’s head raise from the book that he was reading. Kicking out of her boots, she tugged her shirt from her body and then pushed at her pants to get them down her legs. All she could think about was her father stressing that Maggie was better than her and everyone thought it. How her father hated her and made her feel like less than human.

“Hey,” Negan set his book aside, worry flooding his hazel eyes when she got on her knees on the bed. Crawling in over him surprised him and he immediately lifted his hand to stroke over the side of her face. Sweeping at the tears that were there took her breath away and she could see that he was worried about her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Instead of saying anything, she immediately brought her lips to his to silence him, her hands working open the tie in his pajama pants. Her kisses were rough, but it was obvious that Negan could taste the lingering of her tears over her lips when he tried to get her to look at him, “Hey. Y/N. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Please Negan,” she begged against his lips, dipping her hand inside of his pants to pull out the root to his masculinity, stroking her fingers over it. Negan was soft against her touch and she was working to change that. “I need this. I need this really bad right now.”

“Listen…” Negan’s eyes rolled back, his lips parting when she moved further in over him and started pressing wet kisses over the side of his neck. God, he was doing his best to fight her off, but he was having a hard time with it with how aggressive she was being. “We shouldn’t do things like this when you are upset. I would rather just talk to you…”

“I need this Negan,” she insisted, her lips hovering in over his after he tipped his head back to look at her. Adjusting her positioning over him had his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I don’t think I’ve needed this more.”

“I just…” Negan huffed when she forcefully moved in over him to hook her fingers from her left hand into his hair while her right reached down to push her panties aside. Grunting, Negan felt her lowering down over his semi-erect manhood, his hands clasping tightly to her hips. With her arms hooked around his shoulders, she was using her balance over him to roll her hips over his length working to make him completely solid inside of her. Pressing his forehead to her chest, Negan moaned out while she had her way with him knowing that she was being rough. The headboard was smacking up against the wall with the movements she made over him and he was having a hard time being quiet. “People will hear.”

“Let them,” she didn’t have a care in the world while she bounced herself over him using the best of her strength that she could build up. Uncontrollable moans fell from Negan’s throat, his hands caressing up over the lengths of her body. With Negan inside of her, she had that full, stretching feeling that helped distract her and it was better than the pain.

When she took him completely inside of her and stayed still over him for an extended amount of time before moving again, he knew that it felt too detached for him. “Y/N…please…”

Shakily, Negan’s hands lifted to cup her face in his palms in order to get her to look at him, “Talk to me. Please.”

Finally, her movements stopped and he was able to get her eyes to connect with his, “What’s going on?”

“I’m getting kicked out of the house. I have to leave tomorrow morning,” she explained to Negan with him sweeping away at the tears that still lingered over her face. Attempting to move her hips, Negan shook his head and kept her in place over him so she could continue opening up to him. “Hershel wants me gone after I brought up that book to him, so I’m leaving. I got no explanation from him. He told me during our discussion that Maggie was better than me in every way. That you felt it. Glenn did. Everyone,” she took in a sharp breath, her head lowering to rest against his. “Please Negan, I need this. I just need to feel like I’m special. That I mean something to someone…”

“This is not the way,” Negan shook his head, curling his arm around her waist to carefully lower her down at the center of the bed. Shakily moving in over her, Negan did his best to make her feel comfortable before starting to carefully roll his hips to make love to her. What she was doing before felt more like she was trying to punish herself as opposed to actually allowing herself to feel loved. Peppering kisses over her lips, Negan kept their eyes connected while he thrust over her and hovered his lips over hers. “He’s wrong. You are perfect. You are everything to me and he doesn’t deserve you.”

Lowering down over her, Negan’s fingers hooked with hers as he held them to the bed and squeezed tightly at them. If she wanted to be intimate with him, he was going to make sure that he was going to make love to her like she deserved right now. Not have some quick romp that would be rough and would ultimately leave her feeling empty in the end.

“I love you so much,” Negan repeated what he knew to be true, his kisses trailing down over her jawline while she stroked her fingers through his dark hair. “We’ll all leave tomorrow. Together. Because that’s where I’m meant to be. With you.”

What really made this moment stand out was his praising and the way he spoke to her. That’s what she needed right now. To be proven to that he loved her. That beyond all else, they were meant to be together. That she was it for him and not Maggie.

This wasn’t a moment focused on pleasure for them. No, it was more so a moment to share their love with one another. To connect and bond further than they already had. What she needed to hear, Negan said. Even when they finished, she just wanted to be held by him. To be close to him.

“You are the only place I feel like I belong,” she whispered with him laying over her, her fingers caressing at the back of his neck with him cuddled up to her. Chills flooded her body with Negan panting against the side of her neck. Leaving frequent kisses over her flesh left her feeling pampered and cherished. “I should have left with you and your family from the start.”

“You’ll be with us,” Negan tipped his head far back enough to give her a small nod while he swept his thumb in over her bottom lip. Negan’s hair was damp with it in his face and she found herself in awe with the way that he looked. “Your father did you a favor because now he’s made it easy for you to erase him from your life. You don’t need that toxicity in your life. You’ll never have to feel this way again. Do you understand?”

Pressing his forehead to hers, Negan took a minute before peppering faint kisses over her face toward her lips, “In the morning we will all pack and we’ll go back to my place. We’ll have Christmas together. Then first thing after Christmas, I’ll go get you a ring. We’ll get married on New Years. Have our baby…”

“Negan,” she whimpered with Negan stroking the back of his hand over her abdomen. “I don’t know if I should be a parent. The way that I was treated, I don’t want to be my father.”

“You never would be,” Negan hushed her with all the love in his eyes. “Look how you are with Beau and Erin. They love you and you are so good with them. You’ll be the best mother. And we will all love you. You will make your family with us and you will be loved the way you were always meant to be.”

“Do you think we will be able to get out easy in the morning?” she wondered knowing there was so much that had to be done with Maggie and Glenn. “Maggie and Glenn should…”

“Maggie and I broke up tonight,” Negan informed her, causing her to let out a surprised exhale. Pointing toward the discoloration over his face made Y/N let out a tense breath. “That’s why my nose is hurt. She punched me. I told her that I was in love with someone else. We both agreed it was better to go our separate ways. I’m already done.”

“Does she know that it’s me?” she was shocked to hear that Negan was already broken up with her older sister.

“No, I didn’t think I had to tell her that part yet,” Negan thought back to his discussion with Maggie. “She already punched me in the nose, I thought if I told her who it was, she would fucking destroy me. This way tomorrow morning she doesn’t have much time to respond before we leave, but at least she will know.”

“How did that happen?” Y/N wanted to know the details, brushing her fingers into Negan’s wet hair to sweep it back over his ear.

“Maggie was acting really weird the last two days,” Negan answered her knowing that Beau told him he needed to be completely honest with her about everything. It scared him. Especially with how Y/N was feeling, but he had to be straight forward. “Last night when you were with Beau, she came in here and I thought it was you. She tried giving me a blowjob, but I immediately knew that it wasn’t you and I stopped her…”

“She what?” she pushed into Negan’s chest, watching his head immediately shake “Negan?”

“Nothing much happened. I immediately stopped her when she started to give me one. It was dark, she crawled up under the covers and I thought it was you. Once she started doing it, I knew it wasn’t you and I stopped her. We fought because she wanted to have sex with me and I wouldn’t. That’s when Hershel showed up to rip me a new one thinking we were trying to get intimate. Then today she tried again. She’s never been this desperate to try to sleep with me and then I found out the reason she was doing that is because she cheated on me with someone else,” Negan let his words almost mesh together with how fast he was explaining what happened with Maggie. Hearing all this only seemed to upset Y/N, but he needed her to know so they could be clear with things. “You’re it for me Y/N, so when she admitted things to me today about cheating I immediately let her know that I was in love with someone else. That I belonged with someone else.”

Even after he explained things, she didn’t seem entirely comfortable, but Negan shook his head, “Listen to me. Everything is going to be okay. We’ll take tonight and then we will leave in the morning and we can start our life together.”

“That’s exactly how it went down with Maggie?” she confirmed with Negan, faintly skimming her fingertips over the discolored flesh under his eyes.

“Exactly. I was smacked today and punched,” Negan snickered, his lips claiming hers in small kisses that still managed to take her breath away. “Your sister has some aggression issues when she gets upset. As much as I liked her, she beat the shit out of me. A lot. This wasn’t the first time she had done it. I hope whoever she wants to be with can handle her because she’s kind of abusive.”

“You poor thing,” she whispered, tracing her fingers down over the side of his face and it had Negan leaning into her touch. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.”

“It’s worth it to be with you,” Negan slurred, cuddling in closer to her wanting to keep that connection between the two of them.

Getting comfortable beneath Negan, she looked between them knowing that he was still inside of her going soft and it made her eyes come to a tight close. With Negan now being broken up with Maggie, to the promise of a happy life along with them trying for their baby, Y/N knew that this was the life she genuinely wanted.

“I love you so fucking much,” Negan declared, his hazel eyes locking with hers while he palmed in over the side of her face in a loving, tender sweep. “I hope you know that. You mean everything to me.”

Pulling Negan back into her arms, she held him close and kissed at the side of his neck. That was something she really hoped was true. It was just after everything she experienced with her father, it was hard to actually believe those words because she wondered if she was even deserving of something like that.

“Sometimes I think you and your children are too good for me,” she whispered, her fingers stroking through his dark hair. “That I don’t deserve this…that I don’t deserve you…”

“And that’s just your fears talking,” Negan hushed her, leaning back far enough to stare into her eyes again. “Because if anything, I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I’m not perfect Y/N. I’ve never been perfect. So please don’t think like that.”

“What if you were meant to be with Maggie, but I ruined that?” she wondered and it made Negan scoff. With a shake of his head, Negan nuzzled his nose in against hers but then winced realizing that it still hurt. “It’s a possibility Negan.”

“It’s not. It’s really not,” Negan denied, hating that these were things she was starting to believe because of the ideas that her family filled her with. Coaxing her to look at him and stay connected with him, Negan frowned. “Maggie was not someone that I could see myself having a future with. When I’m with you, all I can think about is our future and all the possibilities.”

Tears burned at her eyes and it broke his heart to see her this way. Lowering down, he immediately started pressing loving kisses over her face, “I don’t think you know how much I truly love you.”

“I can only imagine,” Negan slurred, his fingers lowering to capture her hand in his. Giving it a tight squeeze, he shrugged his shoulders. “But considering how I feel about you? If it’s half as much as I love you, then I know it’s a lot.”

“Why do you love me?” she was confused about all of this and the way that Negan felt toward her.

“I could talk to you all night about all the reasons that I love you,” Negan vowed, a smirk tugging at his lips when he thought about her. “When you are this in love with someone, everything about them appeals to you. I can’t think of something I dislike.”

“All I can think about myself is all of the things that I do hate about me,” she opened up to Negan, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to hug him tightly to her. Peppering tiny kisses against his freckle covered shoulders had him sighing.

“That’s because of the environment you are in. Once we get you out of here, you will thrive and shine,” Negan promised, his lips finding their way to hers again so he could kiss her passionately. “And if you don’t? I’ll be there to help you through every step. Because I love you. And you’ll never be alone. Not with me.”

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams  @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @promiscuousbarnes​ @tone-stark @lanadelnegan @flippittygibbitts @stickyhuesos @dilfsandmartinis

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Okay so to add to this post from yesterday:

I’m writing this right after posting that one so if somebody reblogs with something similar to this I promise I did not see it before writing this. I just wanted my full on fix it and this is how I managed to forcefully make it happen:

What if, just like in the book, the tributes didn’t have a bloodbath? If you wanna be very optimistic, what if none of the tributes had died yet but had been brought closer by the… unusual events surrounding their stay, and were just a little bit less enthused about the idea of killing each other? We’re ignoring the rabies. The tributes got close enough fast enough for them to save Reaper from getting bitten or that stupid bat was knocked out by slamming into the shaking sides of the cattle car before it could bite Jessup.

We all know Gaul’s a murderous piece of never before seen insanity, and it’s pretty clear (to me at least) that she was simply looking for an excuse to release the snakes. Well, what if she was just the teensiest bit too excited about that? When nobody has died in over a day because everyone is actively avoiding conflict (maybe Treech pulled a Peeta and convinced the pack to wait with attacking Lamina or something to piss Gaul off even further) she goes on the big screen to tell people she’ll nobly make sure the districts receive their punishment no matter how hard they try to rebel and sicks the snakes on them. Joke’s on her! They’re not stupid and once one person gets to higher ground everybody else follows. The tank is placed somewhere on flat ground so Lamina gets to stay on her beam and maybe Treech joins her so they can reconcile. Some older kids grab the younger ones to get the heck out of dodge so everyone’s in a safe spot.

As in my previous post, none of the tributes can be reached. Therefore, the snakes decide to get their share of flesh from the next closest thing: the peacekeepers. They don’t even have a chance to call for help, and there are no cameras that film their deaths so nobody even realizes nobody’s guarding the arena until it’s too late. Again, the cold night kills all of the snakes and provides the time frame that ends up causing the utter embarrassment to the Capitol that is the 10th Hunger Games.

This time, it’s Circ and Teslee, even the smart cookies, who notice the snakes all on the hunt towards the same spot and investigate. They immediately run back with their findings and the tributes spread the word from person to person in minutes. All strategizing is done in the cameras’ blindspots in a soft enough tone to not be caught by the microphones. Lamina hears that the only obstacle left is the lock when she “trades” with Reaper to buy everyone time and suggests going to Treech, since he knows how to pick locks. Teslee and Circ point out the camera near the entrance, so they decide that it’s better to be safe than sorry here and come up with a plan.

After some back and forth, Lucy Gray brings up that the games are all for entertainment, which gives Coral an idea (coralbaird alarm coralbaird alarm they are chaos gremlins). What if they have a few tributes fight? That would draw attention towards the fight and away from the entrance. They’ll do it early to prevent anyone from realizing the guards are dead. A few others will signal towards the cameras to try and convince their mentors to send supplies so they have some time to find a hideout and plan before food and water become pressing issues.

Panlo volunteers to be part of the fight, since his mentor is a dickhead. The chances of Gaius sending him anything substantial are so low they’re kissing the earth’s core. Reaper also volunteers, and Treech tries to before he’s reminded that he’s supposed to be picking the lock. So he instead volunteers to stay last with Lucy Gray since they had the most donations. Clearly the audience loves them, so they’ll perform together while everyone else gets out and then slip out of sight from the cameras. Teslee and Circ will hack the cameras from the outside and move them subtly while the distractions are happening so that the blind spots are big enough for the tributes to manoeuvre past. Wovey and Bobbin leave during the night, knowing their mentors won’t send them much. Someone needs to make sure that possible replacement guards don’t foil the plan by taking them out if necessary. They have the dead guards’ guns and no peacekeeper would expect to be shot, especially not from the outside of the arena.

In the end, it’s Panlo vs Reaper vs Sabyn vs Facet. None of them had mentors great enough to be likely to send food, but they’re all strong enough for a drawn out free for all fight without casualties to be believable. Once Treech whistles out the signal that he’s picked the lock successfully, they start retreating from the fight one by one, making it look like they just narrowly dodged a lethal blow and decided to cut their losses. The tributes collect their gifts and high tail it out of the arena while Lucy Gray and Treech “get stuck” conveniently close to a microphone. This is done by Coral acting out the angry Bad Guy she’d forced herself into once they entered the arena. Treech acts the meek spineless coward and books it away from the pack, who give chase just slow enough to believably lose track of him in the tunnels and give up. He meets Lucy Gray at the agreed upon location, one on each side of a door with a microphone above it. What a coincidence! And at a time where Jessup is outside to collect gifts too!

Lucy Gray makes just enough noise to pass as accidental while still being audible for both the mic and Treech, who says hello and sardonically asks her where her partner is. She replies that he should come in and check, to which he replies he’s not ready to get his skull bashed in quite yet. Then they talk. They share stories and sing together, both showing a more human side to the tributes while also expertly stalling for time by drawing attention. They’re performers, they understand what to do without needing to discuss it.

The last person to leave aside from them, Marcus, (because he gave the camera district 2 signs so Sejanus knows what’s up and waited for his mentor to empty out as much of his funds as possible without being suspicious) taps out the agreed upon signal with his footsteps, making sure they echo loud enough for the two to overhear, before getting out too. Treech swiftly ends the conversation by stating that he should probably get a move on before someone finds him. He perfectly acts out a teenager getting everything off his mind to someone he thinks he may never talk to again, complimenting Lucy Gray and wishing her luck. She does the same, and they part ways. Treech is surprised to find that Vipsania sent him quite a bit of food and water once he made it back to the main part of the arena, but he’s not complaining. Lucy Gray follows after him with enough time between their departures to be believable for two people who are supposed to be scared of each other.

And that’s that. All of them are out, regrouping outside of the gates and escaping the scene swiftly. It’s only the next day that anyone bothers to check out the lack of action, only to find the snakes’ rainbow venom pouring out of the guards’ corpses in front of a long empty amphitheater. Surprisingly, most mentors aren’t all that upset at losing their chance to win the Plinth Prize, which is now given out like it was in previous years. Secretly, they’re glad their tribute escaped alive, though they’ll never say that out loud.

Nor will a few of them explain why they suddenly go on a trip to the districts every now and again. Or why Gaul’s lab blew up with her inside it once the horrific symptoms of her snakes’ venom was released to the public.

Guess we’ll never know how that happened :)

[tennessoui]

You're a wonderful writer, you deserve all the treats! 🎃🍭🍬🍫🍦🧁✨

awww thank you so much 🥹🥹

it is no longer halloween but i have a couple of trick or treat asks that i didn't get to cause my time management leaves a lot to be desired & little time to desire it lol so to spare people's dashes but to not leave anyone in the wind, i'm gonna respond to all of them in one long post :D (this one)

see beneath the cut!! you guys did great there were like almost no repeats even though there statistically probably should have been???

🍬🍬 hello thank you 🧡

i already answered a kuwsk one, so for roadtrip au....

here is a little drabble from an upcoming scene in the roadtrip au (squick tag:a/b/o):

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes in his direction. "What's wrong, Anakin?" "Nothing," he says. Shit, that came out too fast. Obi-Wan's eyes narrow further, like he agrees. "You've been acting strangely all day," the love of his life says. "You didn't even say anything when I pointed out the pancake house for breakfast. You didn't even say anything when I got a cinnamon roll at the coffee shop!" "You had two servings of vegetables yesterday," Anakin mumbles, placing both hands on the wheel and looking at the road. Maybe if he pretends this stretch of flat wasteland road in front of him is the most interesting thing in the world and requires his entire concentration, Obi-Wan will drop the subject. Obi-Wan does not seem to pick up on this. He scoffs instead, and crosses his arms. "When has that ever been enough to you? Since this entire thing started?" "Obi-Wan--" "And we've been listening to my podcast for the past two hours!And you haven't mentioned it once!" "Fine," Anakin snaps, tightening his hands and then loosening his grip with effort. "Fine, congratulations. Yeah, something's wrong. I'm working through it though, okay?" On his side of the car, Obi-Wan draws himself up, and then seemingly shrinks himself down a moment later. "Is--" his hand falls onto Anakin's arm before it drops away. "Is this...because of the other night?" Anakin's jaw clenches. Them having sex hasn't just been kept to the other night. They fucked their way through all of North Dakota and Montana over the course of the last two days. But sure, the other night. "No." "Because if it is--" the omega's voice is timid and it makes Anakin's chest hurt. "You're not wearing my clothes," Anakin blurts out. "You smell different and I hate it and I know it's stupid and weird and some Dark Ages Alpha bullshit, but you need to be wearing my shirt or I'm going to fucking lose my mind, Obi-Wan." The words draw Obi-Wan up short. Anakin cuts his eyes to the side and he can see his omega's mouth hanging slightly open. Anakin taps his tongue against the back of his teeth. Great, now he sounds like some insane micro-managing lunatic. "And I think I'm going into rut." Now he sounds like a horny micromanaging lunatic. Perfect.

👻 ahh trick or treat for the naughtiest au that deserves NO treats!! 🧡

some nasty info on the cheating au i haven't talked about like. all their flying lessons. when obi-wan and anakin start fucking (before they're in love with each other), obi-wan devises a plan to get anakin alone more often so they can fuck on the weekends and not just at their places of work lol. it involves complaining to padmé about needing to really learn how to fly now that his uh valet has retired. he can't get a new one. no, that's not an option. so does padmé know anyone who flies very well and would be down to perhaps teaching him in their free time?

and padmé is like oh i do actually! my husband anakin is a very good flier. would you like me to connect you two? he came with me to your party.

and obi-wan is like i think i remember him :> he would be...available?

and anakin is guilty but very available

so they mostly spend all their flying lessons fucking in the cock pit because obi-wan's been able to fly since he was a kid. padmé learns about this either after the very end where she finds out about their affair, OR she learns about it in the lead up to the very end where she's feeling very suspicious but she's been ignoring it for THIS long so.....

🧛‍♀️🦇

trick or treat 🧡

twilight au 🧡

a headcanon for the twilight au! obi-wan's biggest pet peeve with anakin is that he absolutely hates being guided or directed in any way. he fights just to fight and obi-wan enjoys putting him in place but it would be fucking easier if anakin didn't spend so much time arguing over like. how many vegetables he should have a day. and how much water he needs to drink. obi-wan is a licensed doctor like 36 times over for fuck's sake.

anakin's biggest pet peeve is obi-wan constantly tries to mind trick him to see if his immunity will falter or fail. anakin's like for the love of god obi-wan im not a science experiment, jesus christ--'

and obi-wan hisses (cause vampire), and obi-wan's like 'you can't tell me you didn't just want to see if that was just a vampire myth'

assholes to each other <3 for eternity <3

😈 trick or treat 👽

omg smithsonian au......you know what they do for halloween, these two fuckers?? padmé invites everyone over to her (very fancy apartment) for pumpkin carving and obi-wan and anakin are so fucking annoying. they turn into a competition about who can carve the best pumpkin. obi-wan calls anakin's first attempt (a cat face) lowbrow (obi-wan carved a jellyfish), and anakin throws pumpkin guts into obi-wan's hair (he's a ginger, no one will even be able to tell!)

it goes on and on until padmé dismisses them from her apartment because it's either that or carve into anakin and obi-wan.

after getting kicked out of pumpkin carving they accidentally go on a romantic autumnal walk. they stop at a street light and anakin picks pumpkin guts out of obi-wan's hair.

it makes them feel so many things they're not mature enough to talk about

trick or treat! 🎃😸

oh ho ho the cult au! that doesn't even have a tag! (but basically it's an au where jedi obi-wan is tasked with investigating a Force adjacent cult on the desert planet Tatooine, and it's anakin obviously who is so powerful in the force he's made a whole cult out of it and sets his sights on obi-wan as his forever partner)

here is a 3 line drabble!

The boy's head tilts, and his eyes are heavy, piercing gold. They pin Obi-Wan in place even from across the room. It is immediately completely obvious who among the people in this room has influenced the Force. Even though the boy could not be more than twenty, his entire presence radiates pure power. Obi-Wan has never felt a Force signature so aggressive, so strong. For the first time since he heard the rumors, since the Council handed him the file for this mission, Obi-Wan can believe that there is a Child of The Force on this desert planet. A demi-god, whose attention can change futures, destinies-- "Approach," the boy commands, extending a hand out over the empty space surrounding him. "Obi-Wan Kenobi."

trick or treat 👽🎃

hello hello the selkie au <3

here is a bit of background thought on the selkie au! one of the things i include in most fics/characterizations of anakin is that he's a pretty one partner for life kind of person (in that he married padmé after being obsessed with her forever in canon, and one of my favorite fanons is that his very first crush/sexual awakening was obi-wan and then he would have totally married obi-wan if obi-wan was a bit different character)

but in selkie au, anakin has a very long history of dating/trying to fall in love, which is like pretty unique in my writing!

and obi-wan probably has like only a few partners he's been head over heels with, and he falls really hard for anakin which makes their (temporary) break up so much harder for him personally

trick or treat ! 😈

and omg for the space actors au??? ok ok

so obi-wan and anakin are in a holo film where they have to be jedi which will mean very serious research

and they absolutely go to the jedi temple and fuck in like a few sacred places, but tbh so many other jedi have also fucked there so that it's no big deal......even if they get caught.....and even if the make-up department has to spend a small fortune covering up their hickies they somehow got on a "research trip"

(the holonet runs a scandalous article about which jedi broke their vows of celibacy and slept with famed actor anakin skywalker?)

(obi-wan is offended that his handiwork is not recognized)

(the jedi order has to put out a statement to say that actually there are no enforced vows of celibacy though jedi may choose to follow whichever personal vows they would like)

(and if a jedi slept with anakin skywalker, the jedi council has decided they do not want to know. or hear about it anymore. thank you.)

🎃 trick or treat 🦇

i actually got asked for lslm 3 more times after you sent this in, but you were the first to ask after lslm so congrats on beating the crowd haha

ok sooooo here's a bit of the new chapter (remember, anakin's discovered that padmé has a golden wolf's mask in her luggage, what the council's intelligence has said is what the traitor will be wearing):

Padmé's eyes are unreadable when she looks back up at him. He’s been compromised. Fucking stars. He’s been compromised within the first five minutes of his mission. The enemy—the alpha in the golden wolf’s mask—she knows he is lying, she knows who he is, and she’s dangerous. She’s dangerous, and Obi-Wan is here. Anakin can feel his shoulders straightening at the reminder. Obi-Wan is here, sharing the same air as Amidala, the woman who now knows too much. If Anakin is compromised, it will only be a few minutes before Obi-Wan is compromised as well. Obi-Wan will not be threatened on this mission. Anakin will not allow it, even if it means silencing Amidala himself. She had shown him kindness and compassion when he had been nothing but a slave. And then again when he had been nothing but a boy crying out for his master. But it seems she’s forgotten what loyalty is.  Anakin can remind her. But before he can step forward into her personal space, slip control of his pheromones so that all she can smell is willing omega, tease her fingers before interlacing them with his own and pulling her out of the entrance room into a more private location—before he can take the first step towards extinguishing this threat to his alpha’s safety, someone touches Padmé’s bare shoulder.

trick or treat!! 🎃👻

a fish hook, an open eye--what a fic, thank you for sending this and therefore reminding me of it lol 🧡

hm quick head canon for this fic is....anakin actually honestly makes obi-wan a better person and sorta saves the galaxy. see, he would have stopped at nothing to take down the jedi order, but then anakin comes into his life and all his priorities sort of change.

mostly cause anakin doesn't really care about ruling the galaxy. he's very family focused (thanks, obi-wan) and he wants his family to be safe and hidden -- probably because a lot of sidious' initial teaching enforced in him that safe = hidden

and obi-wan...he doesn't actually want to give up his dreams and he would sure love to see the jedi die for no other reason than they're stingy about who gets to use the Force or whatever, but....he likes the family he has with anakin. he could be content with setting up an empire in the outer rim. he doesn't need galactic wide conquest. he's already conquered the bestest part of the galaxy (anakin)

cody is going to be sick. this is disgusting, and the thought that obi-wan and anakin actually make each other better is too awful to even consider. straight lies and deception.

🧛‍♀️🍬 trick or treat!!! 😈

oooo time traveler ahsoka au!

here is a drabble for time traveling ahsoka au during one of the re-dos (specifically, the one where obi-wan is duke of mandalore and anakin is a Jedi General married to Senator Amidala and they respect their duties at the cost of their almost love):

Even though Ahsoka had not screamed along with Anakin when she'd seen Obi-Wan's body struck by droid-fire---she could not, she had no body, just another thing to add to the long list of things she'd given up for this, for the galaxy---her throat feels raw, as if she has been sobbing for hours the way her master has been, seated slumped over in the chair next to the Duke of Mandalore's cot. Anakin is quiet now, though every so often a fresh tear will roll down his reddened cheek as he sits silently, hand clutching Obi-Wan's own. A part of Ahsoka is screaming at her to reset this scenario. Obviously, these two souls are as entangled together as their fingers currently are. But it would be cruel. Wouldn't it? To end this run now, when Obi-Wan and Anakin are so recently wounded? And they have been so reasonable up until this moment. They have been cordial, respectful---friends, brothers in arms. Obi-Wan has almost died. Surely, Anakin is allowed to mourn. Surely if Ahsoka existed in this scenario, if she were Anakin's padawan and she'd be struck down, he would sit at her bedside and cry over her sleeping form. Right? It takes three tries for the words to pass Anakin's lips, and when he does finally speak, Ahsoka can barely understand him. He has pressed his mouth to the back of Obi-Wan's hand. "Never again," he mumbles against the duke's skin. "You do not belong here, and I would--I would tear my heart out and leave it for safekeeping on Mandalore before I would watch you take on blaster fire again." Ahsoka's mouth opens, spell words meant to reset the circumstances on her tongue. It sounds like a love confession, and she knows that those such things are to be avoided. Her mind begins to race. A new scenario---this time, she will keep them apart forever---this time, they will never meet, and the galaxy will--- "When you wake," Anakin's voice derails her thoughts and holds her tongue. "I will send you back to your wife. And it will be the end. It will--it is time. To end." Ahsoka's mouth closes. The words evaporate. Her chest tightens, and though this should feel as if she's dodged a blaster shot, it feels like she's been hit.

trick or treat 🍬🧡

i gave a little drabble of the couples counseling au for the last trick or treating ask re: couples counseling au so i'm gonna give just a bit of a headcanon this time!

in couples counseling au, the jedi council absolutely knows that they're seeing a couples therapist who specializes in married partners 💙 probably a few of them think that anakin and obi-wan know that as well, but most of them are like. well. they'll figure it out right? some of it may be applicable? they're definitely better than how they were a month ago so, no harm no foul etc etc

[tomorrowsgardennc]

flower update // october 28th 2024

we actually did all this work yesterday, but it took every last spoon hubs and i had to do it. so i post today what we (finally) did!

we dug holes. a lot of them. but look at the difference here:

clay on the left, which is the entire yard. but ACTUAL SOIL on the right, where a bradford pear tree was when we first moved in and fell down within a month of moving in lmao. it was huge and shaded the entire front yard. i do miss it. but of course it fell down right after we bought the house. that was 2016, and the trunk was not removed but chopped up and decomposed in place. and this was the result.

the best damn soil in the entire front yard.

hubs was a sweetheart and knows my fight on finding good soil and he said he would dig up every last grain of it and put it wherever i meeded LMAO! but instead the flower we planted there will be the best damn flower out of all of them. speaking of all of them...

ta-daaaaa!! all but the cacti are in the ground!! we had to draw a line somewhere because we were both getting tired so i said the cacti can be the ones to wait. but here is the final list:

white rose of sharon (hibiscus)

purple/pink hydrangea (dwarf)

pink butterfly bush (dwarf)

spanish lavender 

false sunflower (native)

spotted bee balm (native)

prickly pear cactus (edible)

now that they are all in their final homes i'm thinking of getting a couple more spanish lavender and false sunflowers... just to scatter them about more. OH and that massive gap that keep bugging me near the right side 😤 is actually where the water line from the city leads to the house. no plants, no raised beds, nothing will go over that line. not just because it's smart but because it's old and needs replaced and costs 8 grand to do so... ain't nobody got money for that. cheaper to just never cover it and when it leaks to pay for a patch. even get a discount if i pre-dig the leak area 🫠 only happened twice so far... didn't want to jinx it by putting an amazing flower over the line.

another important line: what will eventually be the white split rail fence that goes behind these babies!! probably won't be until spring market sales when we can do it. but fences can go in whenever - perennial plants needs to go in now!

another to-do list item for later is the ground cover. we decided yesterday between digging holes to have a mix of wild violets and false strawberries. they're already covering about 20%ish of the front anyway... but next spring ill collect wild violet seeds from the back yard and spread in the front, and i'll buy more false strawberry plants. the wild bunnies adore the false strawberries, and that was enough to sell hubs into the idea. he wants to feed nature, too, and as naturally as possible. since we already have some growing in this area i will not be laying down mulch. just gotta kill the grass every time it starts to get tall.

[theserpentsadvocate]

Aaaaah, I love stuff like this, thank you!

Tagged by: @copperarsenite

Tagging: @feeisamarshmallow @allonsymiddleearth @iceberg-hootenanny (and basically anyone who wants to, honestly)

rules: post the first lines of up to 10 of your last fics/chapters posted on ao3 or your wips and try to draw some conclusions.

I'm going with fics in general, not chapters (because otherwise it would be entirely Satisfaction), and probably sticking to VM fic because all the Tolkien stuff I've posted recently has been crossposting. So last five posted and last five WIPs worked on. :)

(Also, warning that the second-last sentence has a racial slur (used by a character.))

Satisfaction

Veronica’s dad was the sheriff, so she was usually pretty scrupulous about not breaking the law. 

Flipping the Script

All Jade wanted was to get her mother’s car and drop it off with enough time to get to the library before it closed, and since the library was open late on Thursdays and she’d stopped to pick it up at 4 PM, it hadn’t seemed that difficult.

Unexpected Dividends

It was probably weird to run a to-do list for your boss in your head, but Eli had been doing it since his second month on the job, because Fred was competent, and reasonably organized, and obviously he was a hell of a mechanic, but his ability to prioritize was a little bit whacked out.

The Most Important Part

“Hot date?”

The Art of Starting Over

It turned out that calling your sort-of boyfriend after a whole week and a half of radio silence was daunting.

Choices (upcoming post S4 oneshot)

Jade grew up in San Diego.

Hunger Games AU for 'X universes Veronica didn't grow up in'

I didn’t sleep well, the night before the Reaping.

untitled WIP (zombie non-AU, post-S4)

Veronica made it home for the end of the world.

Carmen for 'Would've, Could've, Should've' (pending oneshot series)

Yesterday, Carter Phelps shoved Carmen into the stair railing and called her a wetback, like her parents swam all the way here from Venezuela.

Circle of Magic AU for 'X universes Veronica didn't grow up in'

The first time the Guard caught Weevil breaking into a rich man’s house, they tattooed an X on the web of skin between his thumb and first finger and threw him into a cell for the night.

*

So for the obvious – I favour third person (which I knew), and I’m a bit heavier on female POVs than I anticipated (which I’m pleased with, actually). Also very Jade-heavy, and since I’m already 50% of the Jade/Eli tag on AO3, that doesn’t exactly shock me.

(It’s not immediately obvious for all of them, but every single one of these is Weevil-heavy, which is the most unshocking thing possible. I think I have exactly one VM fic in progress where he’s not central to the entire premise, and even there he’s still majorly present.)

Other than that, the closest thing to a trend that I can pick up is that apparently I like opening sentences that feel either dynamic or relatable? Satisfaction and the post-canon zombie fic both have the more classic hook of raising questions about what’s going on, and most of the JEC fics as well as Carmen’s WCS entry are an attempt to jump you right into the characters’ heads or at least their social reality. Whereas the fusion AUs seem to establish their crossover-fandom immediately (THG with an immediate reference to a well known part of that universe, and COM by heavily echoing Briar’s introductory sentence). I don’t know if I did it on purpose, but I like it, so I’ll have to see how much/if that holds true for the other ones in the series. (The BTVS and Animorphs ones are harder, because they involve discovering something, but the summary of the latter will definitely start with My name is Veronica…, and the 1-800-WHERE-R-U one starts with a direct shout-out.)

Anyway! I’d be interested to know if there’s anything that strikes you. :)

[scotianostra]

The Great Hall, Edinburgh Castle.

I read about our history almost every day, someti,es wee snippets, other times more in depth historical articles, in the main I take bits and pieces from all these to build the history posts that you see, keeping the majority short enough to keep your interest, longwinded posts can be a bit daunting, I leave it up to the readers if I have interested you enough to get you wanting more, hence sometimes I post a link with more info.

Yesterday I unearthed a pic of Edbrgh Castle's Great Hall and searched for others picking up a few things about the castle, as a tourist attraction, along the way. The pics date from 1895 an 1896, the first two, then 1913, and up to how it looks now.

In 1818 Walter Scott helped rediscover the Honours of Scotland, our Crown Jewels, it was after this that visitors were first allowed inside the castle to visit. In 1919 the first ordinary folk were invited to see the crown jewels, it would cost you One Shilling, and the only way to get a ticket was to write to Robert Cameron, Stationers at Number 2 Bank Street. At this point they set a limit on the num,ber of visitors, only 150 a day were graned admittance! At this point in time, visitors were only allowed to visit the Crown Room to view the Scottish Regalia. The rest of the castle remained off-limits. Why? Because the rest of the castle was still an occupied military base.

Slowly through the years more and more was accesable to the public, one being St Margaret's Chapel, which up until 1845 was bit of a mystery. The earliest surviving building on the Castle Rock, tmay have been built by David I in memory of his mother, canonised as St Margaret in 1250.

The building was much altered during use as a magazine and munitions store from 16th-19th centuries. In 1845 the Chapel (then a storehouse at the W end of the 18th century garrison chapel) was rediscovered as such by the antiquarian Daniel Wilson. Surrounding buildings, including the garrison chapel, were demolished, and a simple restoration carried out. The stained glass was added iuntil n 1922 by Douglas Strachan.

In 1861 a feature was added that to this very day is a massive draw for tourists. The One O’Clock Gun had arrived! Initially the Time Ball had been set up on Calton Hill in 1852. This would drop at 1pm so the sailors in the Port of Leith to set their chronometers in order to navigate accurately at sea. As Edinburgh is not known for its fantastic weather, an audio signal was added in 1861 so sailors could hear the time signal if not see it.

During the victorian era there were major resorations, part of these included attempts to make it look more medieval, the Great Hall, where I started this wee hunt on facts, was restored in 1891, but for some reason there was a fallout with the Army and he refused to hand over the keys. It was eventually opened in October of 1892.

Remember all these buildings, up until the public access being allowed were used by the garrison stationed in the castle.

The last visitor figures avaible were from 2022 when 1,356,168 visited the castle, this was down from the prepandemic numbers of over 2 million, equating to around 10 thousand per day, not all the numbers are available but I did find out that one day in November 2020 during the pandemic there were only 148 visitors to the castle.

To this day the Crown Jewels are still the most popular attractions, nowadays there are queues, not only to get in there, but right down the esplanade to get in the castle itself. One thing that really annoys me is that you can't get close to the building, just to take pics of the statues of Wallace and King Robert without having tickets, or applied for entry into the building.....

[cadaverdolls]

When I saw this PC I immediately knew I had to hit her with the plushie gun

The PC for today is @dolxiba s

Was look through the post I could find about this PC and was immediately fascinated with the drawing of the bedroom. It was the first one I saw. You can tell a lot about a person based off of their sleeping space. I’ll talk more about my thoughts in the doll break down below.

Now,

☁️ Poof! ☁️

Yara has become doll!

Break down of the doll below.

The PC seems to keep their hair messy besides from when they go to special activities like dates. Using medium to long fur fabric and cutting out the shape would be a good option (wavy shape). The fur would be like the messy strands and also gives you the option to comb them down to give it the sleek look of the date night look. I didn’t draw the back but this pc has a cross on their back (can be easily done with embroidery). Along with having the Angel TF I would really like them having wings that can be magnetically attached. The halo they have is old school so it could be magnetized to the back of the head (I’m avoiding angels with the other halo type right now since I have no idea how’d that be attached without looking weird). The reason I drew the PC without the wings and halo is because from all the drawings I’ve seen the TF is hidden most of the time. The wings I think it be nice if the base was a soft gradient yellow to match the yellow of the cross on the back. Like a magical tattoo! When the wings are revealed I’d image a magical girl transformation involving the tattoo.

Added the under lip since I haven’t been able to for the past few dolls :D (I did it on my last one but that wasn’t enough!)

Tried to give the eyes a spaced out look since it was described that Yara is disassociating most the time (that’s why I did the zig zag in the eyes and no eye shine. Don’t know if it comes across exactly how I wanted it). Contemplated giving eye bags since she just seems so fucking tired (like soul wise, does that make sense?) but decided not to since it wasn’t in the original drawing… or did I? Get pranked! I did a different version with them!!!

Haha get punked and totally bam boozled! (I don’t know if it looks exactly like eye bags? I’ll try getting some reference next time.)

Any whoooooo. This was fun. All the characters I’ve done so far have had dyed hair so it was nice doing hair that is a neutral color.

(I said I’d do a pc with a TF yesterday but I didn’t… Oops • … •) (said I wouldn’t post on Christmas but I drew two plushies last night at 4. I can’t control the obsession.)

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 28: Gorget 🪶

----------

Gorget (n.)

a piece of armor protecting the throat

an ornamental collar

a specially colored patch on the throat, especially a bright patch of feathers on the throat of a bird

----------

Did I have much better ideas for the art today compared to yesterday? Nope! But we are closing in on the final countdown and after a very busy last week, I opted for the path of least resistance. 🫠

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about my general thoughts/process. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

----------

This description is going to be short and sweet tonight Sparklers; Yes partially due to time constraints (what else is new?), but also because I'm reasonably sure I don't have that much to say about this one. 😅

Because I really had just the two main ideas which are probably obvious:

What seems to be a fairly common shape (or maybe a slight amalgamation of the shapes I was seeing) when I searched the word "Gorget" to see specific examples

A bird with a brightly colored throat. It's kind of crane-inspired, but isn't based on any one particular kind of bird. Partly because i just could not be bothered to look up a bunch of different birds to pick one, but also because I did have a kind of pose/impression in mind and I thought it would be easier to just squish typical bird elements together to fit what I had in mind.

And considering I don't draw birds in general very often, I think I did reasonably well! 🙂

Everything else really was just whatever I could think of that felt like reasonable filler. If I think about it too hard, I can see how the whole design here might come off as a little boring compared to some of the others, but at the very least I am happier with it than Day 17, the other one involving a bird.

As I said at the time, I do like the inidivudal elements for Day 17, it's the whole package that doesn't do it for me. This time around, it may not be as exciting as some of the others, but at least I do think the total package still looks pretty good, even if it is a bit plain.

The colors were also very simple; I stuck mostly to metal colors—and silver in particular, naturally—for the "armor" part of the definition, but fire truck red felt necessary for the bird's throat...Especially since the bird and its neck did come out considerably smaller than I anticipated. 😅

But even if it is a bit small, I am quite pleased with the decision to put the bird on the "gorgets." There weren't a ton, but I did see a few examples pop up of gorgets that had designs etched kind of in the center like this.

In fact, I very nearly did white lines for this one, but I ended up sticking with black because I was worried it might come out a little too much like Day 16 with the white.

And in some ways maybe this one did still come out a little more like Day 16 than I necessarily intended, but I do think they're still different enough that it doesn't really bother me, either.

So. Is it my best? Probably not. However, I think it's safe to say I'm at least satisfied with it. I do appreciate that this one has a little more to do with the prompt than yesterday's did, which is nice. And I do like how the bird came out more than I thought I would.

...See? I thought this one would be pretty short! I could keep going, but I'd really just be repeating myself, and I think I do that enough as is. 🙃

Hopefully, cross-posting will be just as short and sweet. As always, I doubt it, but I will hope for the best anyway! 🤞

See you Sparklers tomorrow...preferably a little earlier in the evening, but ya'll know I can't make any promises about that... 😅 👋

----------

See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

----------

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[transandersrights]

Would love to see some m!Lavellan x Dorian with the prompt "It's so easy to forget that there's magic in all of this" -Sleeping at Last, Body

(I take prompts! See info here)

Thank you for the prompt to this lovely song! (I wrote most of this p late at night two weeks ago so I don't remember how this premise was linked to the song. It is, though!)

For @dadrunkwriting, 1k of post-canon Pavellan angst into fluff :)

The end of the day rolled around, and Dorian was alone yet again.

It was like that yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that… endless halls of an endless legacy-palace-prison, echoes of past crimes baked into the shining bricks that welcomed him home. It would be like that tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that — constraining walls and the same office floor to pace over and over again.

He was tired. He was always tired, at the end of the day, what with the endless wheedling and scheming and all those things he used to think would be so exciting if he actually got to use them for something he believed in. Turned out it was just dangerous, and that wasn’t nearly as thrilling as he used to think it was when his father came home in the rose-tinted robes of boyhood idealism with another tale of an assassin in a covert meeting place.

Dorian could walk through to his library, if he wanted. Ages of history watching him, judging, and a book he could lose himself in if his eyelids weren’t already drooping. If he wanted to walk instead to the garden there were the plants he had to hire a gardener to take care of, roses he chose but had no one to give to.

At least, no one who��d be able to receive them before the flowers shrivelled into nothing. Funny, how long a distance really was. The other side of Thedas was the same as the other side of the city when it came to someone as busy as Ilassan, but endlessly more of a chasm when Dorian just wanted to know what he was doing today rather than three weeks ago.

If he went to the kitchen, he could eat a meal alone, prepared by the chef he hired on the weekends to cook his meals for the week. In the sitting room, he could sit with no one at all, just like he had for the last few months because his friends were usually around for business, not pleasure.

In his office… no. Not so late, with the moon already high in the sky and half the city in bed. There was always work to do — he had to draw a line.

Bed it was. Just like yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Just like tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. The endless cycle of his life, so rarely interrupted by anything worth noting. The wheel he’d turn for the rest of his life in the hope that someone, at least, was feeling the effects of his hard work.

At least he was tired enough to sleep well. Probably.

So Dorian climbed the lonely stairs, walked the lonely landing, and opened a lonely door to his lonely bedroom and tried, really, not to feel too sorry for himself. He wasn’t good at it, but he had to try. For his—

“Amatus?”

For a fraction of a moment, Dorian was convinced someone had replicated Ilassan’s form in a perfect doppelganger meant to catch him off guard. And then Ilassan smiled, that tiny, wry little thing, and everything else in the world melted away.

“Surprised?” Dorian’s feet moved unbidden towards his voice. His face had to be an absolute picture in that moment. Yes, he certainly was surprised.

“You didn’t say a word!”

Ilassan’s face creased again, and in the lamplight his freckles were as constellations to a sailor, guiding Dorian home again. “I didn’t know when I’d be able to get into the city,” he admitted. He gestured to the pack on the ground, which almost certainly did not contain anything resembling his official credentials as former Inquisitor, one of the most important southern figures in the entire Imperium.

“I could have got you in with a click of my finger,” Dorian pointed out. Ilassan shrugged. He looked good, happier than the last time Dorian saw him. That wasn’t hard, seeing as last time they were parting, and that always… well, it never got any easier.

“And then everyone would know I was here.” Rather than just Dorian. And rather than having all their time to themselves, this would turn into something else entirely. Dorian could understand.

“So you… how did you get in?” Dorian knew that, when it came to the man in front of him, assuming there was anything he couldn’t do was ludicrous. Still, there was always something. Another surprise stacked on top of the near-impossible feat, his brightness so blinding Dorian could almost imagine what dwarves felt, coming to the surface for the first time.

“Oh, you know.” Another shrug. Always the shrug, the nonchalance, like he wasn’t about to say something utterly ridiculous and make Dorian fall in love all over again for the thousandth time. “Climbed over the wall? Disarmed an enchantment. Unlocked the door with your key.”

Unbelievable. Wonderful. And his Ilassan, same as ever. Dorian could only make a noise of exasperated fondness, ripped straight from his heart up through his throat, and jolt towards him like he was no longer in control of his body. “Come here already.”

They always waited to close the distance between them. Dorian didn’t know why; the tradition had developed at some point, over the years, and he’d long since missed exactly when it just became what they did. But now Ilassan launched forward right into his arms, letting Dorian lift him (just a little) and spin him around (not all the way — Dorian had never quite had the upper body strength for that).

“I can’t quite believe you’re here.” He’d thought it would be months before they’d manage to carve time out of their respective schedules to get any time worth having.

Which begged the question: did Dorian have the guts to ask how long he was planning to stay? Would he rather count down the days, or wait until Ilassan felt it wouldn’t be too sad a prospect?

“Well, I am.” Ilassan smiled again, leaning in until their foreheads touched and their lips were only a whisper apart, and Dorian decided he didn’t care.

The night stretched out ahead of him, and he wasn’t alone anymore. Nothing else in the world mattered in that moment.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 1.9.2024

Bleh. I was holding off doing this update, hoping I was going to be able to report that I had finished That Stupid Scene that I have been working on since before Christmas. I had so many thoughts in my head while I was cooking dinner and then, when I actually sat down to write, they had departed. Maybe they'll be back tomorrow.

In any case, I did make a huge amount of progress this week. It was hard! I had a lot of writing time, which was nice, except that I spent a lot of it staring out the window or clicking on my other browser tabs, which is always very irritating. However, I did manage to get most of it written, and it hit all the bullet points I needed it to. I basically just have to wrap it up and transition into what happens next. It shouldn't actually be that hard, I'm just tired and I'm not sure I can swing it right now. It's a big scene, too-- I clocked 4,375 words on it this week in addition to the 900 I already had, so it's probably going to be about half the chapter.

I've had a feeling for quite some time that I had not actually budgeted enough space in the outline for the back half of this fanfic. The thing is, though, it is nearly always the case that an extra chapter manages to sneak in somewhere along the way. I decided to just leave the outline as it was, and that way, if an extra chapter appeared, then my pacing problem would sort itself. That...may be happening. I am not entirely sure. I'm in sort of a weird place where I simultaneously feel like I am very close to done and also very, very far away from being done. Hopefully, in the next week or two (that is, when I finish Ch 7), that will sort itself out. Either that, or I'll just keep writing chapters, like Zeno's fanfic. I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. I will die.

Ugh, I want to post. I am wallowing in the pit of it's been so long since I posted, I feel like I have literally stopped existing, and I keep getting dumb urges to "just take a little break and write a short one" (note that I do not actually have any ideas towards "a short one", it's 100% urges only). Anyway, I definitely do not want to do that, because I want to finish this one very, very badly, and it's taking long enough as is. What I should probably do is polish up Chs 5 and 6 and send them to the beta, but that would require coming up with a name for the art museum that I placeholdered a bunch of times in Ch 5. I actually named it in Ch 1 and then decided I didn't like it and needed to rename and I just haven't yet.

Speaking of names, I've also fallen into It-Needs-a-Title Madness, where I start to go Actual Nuts because I can't think of a title for this stupid fanfic. I forgot that in addition to staring out the window, I spent a lot of time looking through the lyrics of songs on my Ductwork playlist and googling for, like, "phrases with injury" in them. I hate this. It's such a waste of time and yet I do this every time. Why can't you pay someone $10 to name your fanfic for you? Can I just call it "Ductwork"? Does it even matter? (it does matter. I regret every terrible title I have ever slapped on a fanfic in a fit of "Fuck It, We Post")

In other news, I drew all seven days last week (the theme was fruits and vegetables). I took yesterday off, but then I drew a can of soup today, which was hard. It's cool. The people in art club are very nice. I am really hoping to draw a Rukia for her birthday. I have never drawn a bankai Rukia, and I'd like to give it a shot. I bet it would be a lot easier if I could resist doing a full body shot, but somehow, I always do a full body shot. We'll see!!

[apuff]

@sagaofa-dying-star thanks for the tag!!! rewriting the post because it's long asf

 Do you have freckles?  everyone has a little freckles. but i dont have too many

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  i only drink southern style sweet tea bc we never have any good hot tea around

What was the last song you listened to?  MAMA APPARENTLY?? i was on that black parade grind i guess

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  stomach usually but sometimes i go for the recovery position

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  yes

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  probably drawing but i like writing too

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i have 6 blankets in my bed and it's not enough

What’s your favorite band/artist?  ahem. aheem. hehe. my chemical romance

When is your birthday?  am i not supposed to say this for internet safety-? anyways its in december

How tall are you?  5'2 is on my id but my family says im taller than that

What color are your eyes?  green 😏😏i have the rarest eye color 😏😏😏

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?  two of my online friends one of my irl friends one of my mutuals and one person i don't even like but probably really needs it

Fears?  im afraid of people i love dying, being in trouble, being late, and tape measures.

What’s your favorite color?  green BUT I LIKE ALL OF THEM

What’s your favorite season?  I LIKE ALL OF THEM

Want any tattoos? What of?  i kinda want some of those semi permanent ones that last for a few months of just random shit like band members and memes actually maybe i just want to draw on myself in sharpie

Want any piercings? Where?  i just want normal ear piercings :<

Who is the last person you texted?  my ex- camp roommate

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?  yes me and my bestie have been friends for like two and a half years

What/who do you miss?  i miss having good breakfast at camp 😭😭 also i hate to say it but getting exercise. also going outside..

How was your day today?  pretty good

How much sleep did you get last night?  like eight or something

Do you believe in aliens?  y'all. the universe is REALLY big. there's gotta be some alien bacteria hanging out on SOME planet SOMEWHERE

When was the last time you cried? Why?  yesterday because of algebra 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️muhammad ibn musa al-khwarizmi when i FUCKING CATCH YOU ITS OVER

What’s your favorite decade?  2020s- if i had to pick something else it would be 2000s

What are some seemingly childish things you like?  laughing at my reflection in spoons (i highly recommend doing this btw)

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?  i like too many books to count and i have read hp and pjo too many times to count, but recently ive wanted to reread the outsiders so much i go to bed thinking about it and wake up thinking about it

How are you, really?  fine but every other time in my life i have thought i was fine i have been very mentally ill in retrospect so 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?  depends on the type of decision..

What are you looking forward to in the near future?  artfight being over

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?  moving out :v

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?  i am going to the house of my online friends

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?  who sleeps with the door open

What’s your favorite flower?  cherry blossom or lily of the valley

Do you currently have a squish?  i don't know what the difference is between this and just loving your friend, so, idk?

Do you like your middle name?  yeah, i actually use it as my internet and gaming name

Do you prefer dogs or cats?  cats, i respect dogs but they have no concept of personal space

Do you have any phobias?  y'all i really don't like tape measures

Do you stay up late? i consider 11 30 to be late but some of my friends stay up all night sooo its subjective i guess

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?  yes; sunny beach is better because where i live the water is always freezing so you need it to be hot or else it's just miserable

What’s your favorite cartoon?  maybe she-ra

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs i'm already tagging my moots later.,/,/

Do you have siblings? How many?  i have 6 siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  MYSELF- i am lonely right now

Is there anyone you would die for?  why is this such an intense question 😭😭😭probably no i'm a bit of a coward

What do you need when you’re sad?  gerard way but i need him all the time so

Have you memorized your phone number?  no and it haunts me every day

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?  myself (no offense)

What does your last text say?  just had the most transcendent sandwich on the way home

i know this one is really long so no pressure to do all of it OR do it at all LMAO @the-mighty-q @karineverse @the-mighty-mittens @sea-creeture @thankyouforthev3n0m @hopelesshardrockfan @wannabescemo @starbird06