#I love this fic so much I have so many thoughts that I can only explain through screaming
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ANGEEEEEEL DO A LITTLE FUCKER AND ISHA FIC AND MY LIFE IS YOURS 🫵🫵🫵
okay okay okay long awaited but let's do it finally ehheehehe
as always with these fics, don't ask me the logistics of how the pregnancy happened. it's yuri magic. have some fun.
men and minors dni
jinx is twenty when she decides to go to college. after a few years of taking care of herself-- through therapy, moving in with you and sevika, isha's good influence, and vi and ekko's support-- jinx finally felt ready to look to her future.
she got into a good school in piltover; full scholarship, because she's a fucking genius.
you don't worry about the workload overwhelming her, though she's decided to enroll in a dual degree program, studying chemistry and engineering at the same time.
you don't worry that her demons will catch up to her; she'll be living with cait and vi, and she'll be within walking distance of her therapist. plus, she's done a lot of good work for herself.
the only thing you worry about is isha.
though the girl is older now, around eight years old and much more used to you and sevika than she was when you first met, isha's favorite person in the entire world is still jinx. and the feeling is mutual. so, while jinx will spend her weeks with cait and vi up top, on weekends she'll come back to zaun to catch up with isha.
it's still a rough adjustment.
isha's just... lonely. you miss the giggles that used to fill your home-- isha entertained endlessly by her older sister's shenanigans. and despite all you and sevika have done to keep her occupied-- buying her new games and pets and books-- you can tell that isha's bored all alone.
"what if we had a baby?" sevika asks one night after you've turned off the lights and cuddled into her arms.
"another cat?" you mumble. sevika laughs.
"i was thinking a human baby, but we could get another cat if you want."
you sit up in bed, reaching out to flick a light on and stare down at your wife. "where the fuck is this coming from!?" you squeal.
sevika shrugs. "isha's lonely! we should give her a little sibling."
"wh-- like our own baby?! like one of us gets pregnant!?"
"well unless isha drags home a stray kid i don't see how else we'll get one." sevika chuckles.
you gawk at her. sevika smiles up at you. "s-sevika, we already have two to five children, depending on the day." you say.
sevika snorts. "ekko, cait and vi are ours only in spirit, love, they won't ever need us in the way jinx and isha do." she says. you pout. sevika snorts. "and jinx is all grown up, now." she reminds you.
tears well up in your eyes. "no she's not." you say, your pout worsening. sevika giggles and swipes your tears away.
"look; i know we said no kids when we started dating. but we said a lot of shit back then. remember when we thought we'd go hiking every saturday? we were crazy." sevika says. you giggle. "shit happened between then and now baby. life happened. deaths and marriage and adoptions and moves-- that kinda shit changes people. you changed me. and... we bought this big ass house for our family. might as well fill it up."
"well fuck, sevika, how many babies are you planning on giving me!?" you ask through a sob of happy tears. sevika laughs.
"as many as you'll let me." she says with a shrug.
you go to the doctor to talk about pregnancy the next week, only to find out that you're already a month into your first trimester.
"wh-- i'm-- but--" you sputter.
"she's already pregnant!?" sevika squeals.
the doctor laughs. "it would seem so. good timing."
sevika bursts into laughter and scoops you out of the doctor's paper covered seat, spinning you around her office and sobbing into your shoulder as you blink in shock.
"what the fuck?" you ask. sevika cackles.
on your drive home, you look over at your wife with a suspicious glare. "did you plan this?"
sevika laughs. "you think i'm that diabolical?"
"no, i just-- you decide you want a baby and boom, i'm magically already pregnant?!"
"i can probably smell it on you or somethin'-- my instincts could sense it. like how i can smell when you're ovulating."
you giggle. "that's probably how you knocked me up in the first place."
sevika grins. "fuck yeah it is. i did the math. i think it was the weekend we sent isha up to spend with the girls."
at the mention of your girls it hits you. you're about to have a baby. another one. your own-- one that you know from the first shit it takes.
you burst into tears, and sevika laughs. "there you go, i was waiting for that to happen."
"we're having a baby." you cry, scrambling to grab the hand she reaches across the console. "oh, janna, sev-- i don't know how to change diapers! all our other kids came to us potty trained!"
"i'll change all the diapers in the world, for you, love." sevika promises, kissing your knuckles. you laugh.
"you're such a liar."
isha's one smart little shit. you and sevika decide not to tell her until the second trimester, when it's less likely that you'll miscarry.
she figures it out within a week of you and sevika getting the news.
it could be the way sevika keeps touching your stomach, or the giddy kisses the pair of you keep exchanging when you think isha's not looking-- but something tips her off.
she sits you and sevika down one evening with a frown and her arms folded in front of her chest.
is there a baby in your belly? she signs. you sputter. sevika gasps. isha's suspicious glare melts into an excited smile. is there!? she asks with a gasp.
you burst into laughter and sevika shrugs. "we thought you might wanna be a big sister." isha grins, tears welling up in her eyes as she launches herself at you and sevika, laughing and crying.
i do. isha signs. i'm gonna be the best big sister ever. don't tell jinx. or violet.
you spend your pregnancy being waited on hand and foot by all your girls. vi, cait, and jinx all come to visit once or twice a week-- all three of them enchanted with your swollen stomach and always bringing baby supplies in tow.
isha makes a count-down to your due-date, bedazzles it and hangs it on the fridge so she can keep perfect track of how much longer she has to wait before meeting the baby.
isha's also started to call the baby her baby.
how many more doctors visits do you have before you have my baby? isha signs to you one afternoon as you wait in your doctor's office. you burst into laughter.
"your baby, huh?"
isha nods. i'm her sister! she signs, before gently reaching out and rubbing your stomach.
"what makes you think it's a girl?"
isha shrugs. most of your other babies are girls.
you cackle.
isha must be psychic, because your little girl comes into the world kicking and screaming in the middle of a family potluck.
it's horrible. violet passes out. surprisingly, ekko is the most helpful, giving everyone instructions and calling an ambulance for you while you wail on the living room floor.
isha's watching with a disgusted fascination the entire time, her lips curled in horror and shock, her eyes big and sparkling as she witnesses the miracle of birth.
powder and cait help keep you propped up-- both of them toweling up all your... fluids... while sevika holds your hand and kisses your head.
one baby, a ruined rug, and an ambulance ride to the hospital later, and your family finally gets to see you in better condition, and they get to meet your little girl under better circumstances.
"aweee." your four grown kids coo as they shove into the hospital room.
"hey, no shoving around the baby!" sevika whisper scolds.
isha pushes her way through all her older siblings, crawling up in sevika's lap to look down at her little sister.
she gasps in wonder. she looks like big mama. isha signs.
cait chuckles. "she does."
"what a little fucker, comin' out lookin' like the parent that did nothin..." vi teases. sevika scoffs and you giggle in agreement.
"she really is a little fucker. ruined our dinner." jinx huffs. "i was looking forward to that potroast, y'know."
isha giggles, pinching her fingers together, then flipping off the baby and pointing at her. little fucker.
you all burst into laughter. little fucker's silver eyes pop open, and she bursts into tears.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner
@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke
@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25
@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby
@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb
#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika imagine#sevika x reader#sevika x you#soft sevika#i would love to do a part 2 to this bc#babies can start using sign language crazy early?? and i'm just imagining little fucker learning so early b/c of isha's influence#and then u've got a 8 year old and a 8 month old baby that can BOTH curse you out fluently in sign language LMAOOO
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first of all I love your writing style 💔
second: can you make a drabble where Joel comforts reader during her cold or any kind of sickness, maybe even usual stomachache aand then they have soft cute gentle xex, and he whispers praises to her, soothing all of her aches, lyyy
- 🐿️
Awwe thank you for the kind words anon, I’m glad you like my work! Here you go!
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: You try to hide your sickness from Joel because you don’t want to stress him out. It doesn’t work.
Notes: Sick fic, praise kink, soft!dom!joel, sub!reader, sick!reader, reader is in her head a lot, unprotected p in v, reader is very much Joel’s baby, READER IS NOT PREGNANT SHE’S JUST NAUSEOUS
It was normal for you to be reserved. A little quieter than most, a little more soft. Joel knew you better than anybody, and he could tell when you’d slipped into your daydreams, just needing a few moments to drift off within your own head.
But this…this was different.
The day had started off as usual. You and Joel woke up together tangled in blankets, his strong arms holding you close. But the moment you blinked your bleary eyes awake you gave him a swift kiss and mumbled, “M’gonna go shower” before leaving him alone in bed.
Things only got stranger from there. That afternoon Joel was scheduled to leave for a short patrol with Tommy—lately there had been more Clicker sightings, so he and his brother had increased the amount of rotations needed per day. Joel didn’t want to leave you alone when he suspected something was wrong, but it was necessary for him to go if they wanted to keep Jackson a safe haven.
Normally when he was about to leave you’d get all teary-eyed and try to get as many kisses from him as you could before he took off. This time, however, you gave him a short smile and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
That sent Joel’s suspicion through the roof. He had studied your face, searching for any indication there might be something off. Your eyes were a little droopy, but he also knew that the night before you’d been up late with him reading to you…
“Is everything okay, baby?” he had asked softly.
Something flickered in your eyes and a little v appeared between your brow as it creased in confusion. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know, I’m just a little worried about you.”
At that, you gave him an innocent smile. “I’m just tired, Joel. I’m okay.” You stood on your tiptoes to press your lips to his in a soft peck. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
Against his better judgement, he’d left. But that didn’t stop him from worrying about you all throughout patrol.
You felt absolutely awful.
In the morning you’d woken with quite possibly the worst stomach ache you’d ever experienced. You thought a shower might make you feel better, that your body was just disagreeing with something you’d eaten the day before.
It got worse. It seemed that anything you did made the nausea flare up. All you wanted to do was be Joel’s princess for the day, to whine until he took you in his arms and hushed your cries with sweet words and sweeter kisses.
But he had patrol that day, and you didn’t want him to worry. You weren’t supposed to make him worry, you were supposed to be his good girl. You didn’t want him distracted—you knew he’d been stressed about the increased Clicker sightings and you didn’t want to add more to the burden he was already carrying.
And so you stayed silent about it. You smiled at him and sent him on his way, and finally, finally when you were alone, you snuggled up back in bed.
You were freezing. Even with the thick blankets piled on top of you, you still were shivering, and your stomach ache stayed constant. Even your mind began to fuzz to the point where you didn’t know how long it had been since Joel left. You stopped caring about the need to pretend everything was fine—you just wanted him.
You weren’t in the living room when Joel got back. Normally you’d be there waiting since it was the closest comfy place to the door, so the moment you heard the door open you could run and embrace him in a flurry of kisses.
But you weren’t there.
“Baby?” he called out, shutting the door behind him.
No response.
He frowned and took his shoes off, then shed his thick snow jacket and gloves. Beneath he was just wearing dark-washed jeans and his signature flannel.
In your room, all Joel saw was a lump beneath the thick gray comforter. “Darlin’?” Joel crossed the room and knelt beside the bed. Were you asleep? Did—
“Joel?” Your voice was strained, small. You rolled over and Joel’s stomach sank. Your eyes were hazy, your cheeks slightly flushed. Had you been crying?
“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?”
He cupped your cheek and your bottom lip quivered for a moment before you burst into tears.
“Oh, baby.” He promptly stood and got into bed with you, pulling you into his arms. You were so much smaller than him, so easy to pick up and hold against him. “I gotcha. Shh,” he soothed.
You cried quietly into his chest as you clung to him while he smoothed back your hair and pressed gentle kisses to your head. His words were soft murmurs.
“It’s okay darlin’, I’m here now. S’alright….deep breaths sweetheart, can you do that for me? Can you—oh, good girl. That’s it, just keep taking deep breaths for me…”
Eventually your sobs quieted, though a tear still fell down your cheek every now and then. After a few more minutes of holding you, Joel spoke again.
“What’s wrong, honey?” he prompted. “Can you tell me what happened?”
You sniffled. “Just….” Your brow creased. “Jus’ don’t feel good.”
Joel hummed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Didn’t want you to worry.” Your bottom lip trembled. “I didn’t want—“
“Hey, don’t start again,” he cooed softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “You don’t ever have to think that ever again, you hear? I like worrying about you. You’re my baby, ‘s my job to take care of you.”
He saw your reaction to that—lips parting, brows relaxing, eyes going a little doe like.
“You like hearin’ me say that?” he murmured, thumb gently caressing your cheekbone, catching another stray tear. “Like that I take care of you?”
You nodded, eyes big and wide.
Joel kissed your forehead. “You need me to distract you a little bit baby? Make all the bad feelings go away for awhile?”
“Mhmm.” Your little voice was breathless.
Joel chuckled. “Alright honey. You just keep laying there n’ lookin’ pretty—don’t gotta do any of the work.”
Your head had been fuzzy before because of the sickness, but it was nothing compared to now. When Joel talked to you like this, held you like this…it made everything around him grow foggy.
He slid his hand beneath the waistband of your sweatpants and his index finger started to tease your bud over your panties. You squirmed.
“Wigglin’ already baby? I haven’t even done anything yet.” You could hear the smile in Joel’s voice.
His fingers slid past your underwear to dip into your wetness. You whined and tucked your face into the crook of his neck, embarrassed at how slippery you were already.
Joel chuckled and held you tighter. “It’s okay, sweet girl. Nothing wrong with bein’ ready.”
You whimpered as his fingers circled the outside of your entrance. You shook your head at his teasing. “Want your cock,” you whined so sweetly in his ear. “I can take it, promise….just want you to make it all better.”
“Awe baby,” Joel crooned, pressing another kiss to your hair. “Okay. Just give me a sec…”
He shifted to pull down his pants and boxers and toss them to the side. He was already hard against your hip. Laying side-by-side, your chest to his, Joel slid his length past your folds.
Oh….you could have sworn you forgot about your aches and pains right in that moment. He made you feel so full. He was so big, so thick and warm….you could feel him all the way up in your tummy.
Joel let out a sigh that bordered on a groan. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart. So good…”
He started to rock his hips gently and you whimpered, burying your face into his chest.
He chuckled. “So shy, baby. That’s okay, you just sit there…don’t gotta worry about a single thing.”
One of your legs hooked over his hip as his pace sped up and you clung to him the whole way through. You felt so…so…oh, you feel him dragging along your walls so nicely. You were absolute putty in his arms—Joel always made you feel that way, always gave you such big feelings it made you feel too small to hold them all.
“So good, baby,” he cooed. “Such a good girl, taking me so well…just lay there and let me fill you up—oh, you’re so tight around me princess…”
You could feel it then, that big feeling. The one that made you whimper and whine, trying to hide your face more than it already was. “Joel…”
“It’s okay, just let it happen.” His pelvis was rubbing against your bundle of nerves oh so nicely it made you dizzy. “Let me feel you finish on my cock, darlin’, you’re so good for me, so good…”
Every coo and murmur only brought you higher. You let out another high-pitched whine as the feeling started to become too much, too tight too hot too everything, oh you were right there, you…
You cried out as you reached your peak and then fell over the edge. Joel held you the whole way through as you clenched around him and he spilled inside of you, murmuring praises the whole time.
“Good girl, good girl….my pretty baby, you’re doing so well, taking my cock in that pretty pussy of yours….that’s it sweetheart…”
He rocked his hips gently to help bring you down from your high, slowly decreasing his pace until he came to an eventual stop.
He held you in his arms, your body against his. You hummed contentedly and nuzzled at his neck.
Joel smiled. “Feel better, sweet girl?”
“Mmm.”
Joel chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He kissed your forehead. “Why don’t we get in the bath for a bit to clean up, and then I’ll make you some soup? Nothing that will be too harsh on your stomach.”
You blinked drowsily and nodded. “Mhmm. I’d like that.”
Yes, you’d like that very much indeed.
#bambi babbles#bambi writes#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#n$4w#🐿️ anon
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Title: mate oh my mate chapter 2
Fandom: vampries knight
Characters: vampire knight cast
Fic type: fluff, angst
Pairings: Kaname. x reader, yuuki x Kaname one sided
Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, Omega male reader, yuuki is angry, one sided love, reader has powers, reader can see the future and is an empath
Notes: thank you all for the support it genuinely means the world to me
Summary: things quickly spiral and Yuuki has enough and cross realizes that (name) knows more than he lets on
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Yuuki couldn't stop staring at him.
The other Omega.
(Name) Walked with a grace she couldn't even begin to emulate and a poise that made her look like a wild animal and all that made her despise the vampire prince. (Name) Barely acknowledged her, not to be rude but their paths didn't cross very often and when they did he was so fucking kind to her!
"Just because he's an Omega, suddenly he's more important than anyone else!" Yuuki ranted to Sayori who listened patiently, knowing the brunettes love/obsession for Kaname and the sudden competition was driving the poor girl into a spiral. Sayori didn't have the heart to tell her that Yuuki was never even in the race, seeing how Kaname looked at (name) the few times that she saw them... That was a love that could never be faked. "I-I just have to show him that I'm good enough! That I can be a capable wife!"
Sayori didn't say anything but let her continue until the morning bells rang, halting the girls ranting.
(Name) Politely chatted with Aido, not sitting to close to the Alpha and primarily letting the Alpha chat away while Kaname spoke with the teacher,(name) liked Aido as the blond treated him like a genuine friend which was something (name) didn't have much of due to his status. "Thankfully the day students are less crazy in the mornings since they're tired and have to be in class!" Aido cheered and (name) nodded, finding the evening switch to be quite intense and the Omega frankly didn't know what to do with so many people fawning over him.
"(Name)" Kaname called out to his mate, (name) politely saying his goodbyes to Aido before promptly walking to Kaname with an obedience that made the Alpha let out a soft rumble, happy (name) was being good for him; mostly due to the fact (name) wasn't Hungry.
"Are you ready to leave?" Kaname) asked in a whisper, kissing his mates temple and (name) closed his eyes before nodding, exhaustion hitting him in slow moving waves.
The night class never spoke about the fact Kaname and (name) shared a bed, it kept (name)s instincts at bay and calmed him considerably... None of them wanted to deal with him when he was even slightly feral.
"Then let's get to bed ,yes?"
-
"So why is (name) treated the way he is?" Zero asked his adoptive father who sighed "Zero, do you know what a feral Omega is like?" He asked the young alpha calmly, the white haired teen thought for a moment before answering "they're strong, they run in instincts and they could take down an alpha if their instincts were on high Enough alert"
"Good you pay attention in class, now take all that and put that into a vampire who struggles with reality because they're a seer and the only person who can keep them calm is a busy alpha vampire trying to keep his sibling from putting the seer Omega into a spiral" cross was rarely this serious, staring at the other calmly and Yagari blew smoke from his cigarette "(name) is incredibly dangerous but he is incredibly vital, him being here and monitored by not just the night class will keep him and everyone safe"
Zero thought about his mentor and adoptive father's words "but why keep him alive if he's so dangerous?"
"(Name) Can see the future and can predict danger with terrifying accuracy, keeping him on our side is detrimental especially as the vampire royalty has made a treaty with the hunters!" cross smiled at the teen, wanting to calm him down a bit "so, as long as he's with Kaname or calm we shouldn't have problems"
"He must be a monster" zero spat, frustrated at the Omega being treated with such a level of superiority and cross sighed before looking out the window to see (name) walking with the night class "the thing is... Hes innocent, hes... He's just terrified and why wouldn't he? Would you not be terrified if you knew what everyones intentions were towards you? To detect ones emotions and know just how powerful one could be?"
"He lives in a nightmare in his own mind and we can merely bare witness to the events"
-
He could feet the rage, the resentment and the pure acidity of jealously radiate off his sister in law, the two locking eyes and flashes of her intentions and outcomes in the future flickering in this head before it locked onto Kaname protecting him from a rod.
He felt pity for her, he knew how vampiric traditions worked and he knew typically if it was possible, she would be with Kaname but (name) outranked her due to his omegan status...
He couldn't help but feel pity for her, breaking eye contact to continue walking to the night dorms while Kaname walked a bit behind, eyeing his sister with caution and trying to figure out what her next steps were.
Yuuki glared at (name), hands shaking and she hated that she couldn't smell his pharamones due to being a beta, (name) on the other hand smelling the anger radiating off her and scrunched his nose at the smell though to Yuuki it was seen as him looking at her with disgust.
And that's all she needed, pulling out her weapon to strike him down.
She ran full speed at (name) and jumped to strike him, (name) quickly turning and stepping away and letting Kaname step before him and block her attack. Yuuki was stunned at her brother, anger flooding her body and tears filled her eyes.
"That is enough!" Kanames voice bellowed through the courtyard, causing Yuuki to shrink back at the sound and (name) to fidget, a soft whine escaping his lips. "Yuuki, you were raised better than this" his voice firm and the girl glared at her brother teary eyed "you are old enough to keep your emotions in check, these childish tantrums are unbecoming and frankling pathetic, get your act together because no one cares to entertain these delusions!" Kaname would not tolerate his sister's blatant attack and if it weren't for the dwindling numbers of pure bloods, he would have struck her down where she stood.
He loved his sister deeply but this had to end.
"Whats going on?" Cross spoke hurriedly while Yagari and Zero followed behind, trying to assess the situation "Yuuki attacked (name), well attempted!" Aido called out and Ichigo checked in on said Omega who was mumbling things with his eyes closed much to the concern of everyone but Yuuki who was confused and a bit unsettled by the Omega "Kaname, take (name) back to the dorms will you?" Cross had to have a conversation with the youngest kuran-cross.
-
Kaname held (name) close, walking him briskly to the dorms while (name) whispered things that only Kaname could hear "her hearts made of fire and Brimstone.... Her impatience will cause her to fall from the tree..." (Name)s words barely made sense but Kaname put it together enough to know a problem when he seen one. "Let's rest now, love" he ushered him up to their room where (name) looked at kanames hand and the burn mark from the weapon "her fire burned you, my love" (name)s voice grew colder, the polite tone in his voice vanishing and at that moment Yuuki Kuran was an enemy to (name).
Kaname knew it was only a matter of time before (name)s instincts caused him to lash out, he would need to satisfy the omegas base instincts to settle him before (name) caused problems for the Alpha.
Oh the double edged sword of having a hopelessly in love mate...
"None of this..." Kaname scolded (name) lovingly and pulled him into a kiss, trying to distract him from the rage that was filling the others being "behave for your alpha" (name) enjoyed the kisses, his rage subsided to soak in the attention the other was giving him "but--"
"Shh" Kaname bit his own lip, blood staining the alphas bottom lip and immediately captivating (name) who wanted a taste.
And falling for Kanames tricks like an obedient dog.
But Kaname knew (name) wouldn't forget such insolence from Yuuki, he knew the Omega had cards up his sleeves that he had yet to share with his alpha, did he know of the attack? It would explain the step back...
He would have to gently interrogate (name) once the other calmed down, knowing if he didn't get this in check that Kaname would be an only child.
-
Cross remembered when he first met (name), the tragedy of someone so sweet slowly go mad due to the powers gifted to them from generations before, it was slight things that he noticed with (name), the mood swings and jumping from fully lucid and passive to existing in almost a dreamlike existence.
And now Yuuki made an enemy of (name), an Omega who was trying to find the fox in his henhouse but not knowing he was his own fox.
For Yuukis own safety, he had to put her under house arrest, he knew this was just teen jealously and she would realize what she did but till then, (name) was to be kept far away from her.
"She's furious but she's safe" Yagari said softly, having locked her in her old bedroom "I can't believe she would do something so rash and--"" she's a scorned lover even if that loves one sided" Yagari calmed the man "only (name) would have seen it"
Which was something that made them pause.
"(Name) Would have seen this, why didn't he say anything?"
But they subconsciously knew why.
(Name) Wanted a fight.
#anime x reader#anime x male reader#x male reader#omega male reader#omegaverse#male reader#vampire knight x reader#vampire knight x male reader#kaname x male reader#kaname x reader
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from the vantage point of death (teaser)
summary. when the lord of the dead meets the goddess of spring, all his plans are derailed. pairing. hades!choi seungcheol x f!persephone!reader genre/tags. reverse hades and persephone au, bastardizing mythologies to form my version of it, unhinged mc (a little, but we love her), NO STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, suggestive in the full version, more tags to come by then preview wc. ~600 ; full wc. ~10k (likely more) target posting. March 20, i.e. spring equinox
notes. blaming @ylangelegy cos the hozier brainrot got 10000x worse and made me bump this fic up in word count more than my actual feb fics. title co-opted from uklg. my characters have taken over the page while I tag along for the ride. as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined! stream hozier
For the first time in millennia, Seungcheol walks above ground.
As expected, the Goddess of Spring’s domain is a lush garden, nothing but Life as far as the eye can see. He enters much more easily than expected; the wards have weakened concerningly so, even as the lingering magic in the air hint at their former strength.
As he ventures in, the leaves sway to some invisible wind, a smidgen more alive-seeming than they would be in the mortal realm. Still, there is yellowing on some trees. Dead petals litter the floor. Leaves crunch under his shoe as he walks.
Though present, the Goddess’ magic is weakening.
“Goddess, are you here?” He calls.
In the distance, he hears someone coughing.
Seungcheol breaks into a jog, concern rising. He plucks through the threads of death that he senses, filtering them out until a single golden string remains, though its luster seems to dull with every minute that passes. He follows it forward.
“Goddess, please speak if you hear me.”
“Here,” he finally hears a weak voice croak.
He turns, finding you sprawled a few feet shy of what is evidently your chambers.
Seungcheol does not hesitate to lift you in his arms, walking up the steps you were collapsed on. Your breath escapes your mouth in reedy pants, eyes hazy and unseeing as you gaze at him without recognition. He nudges the gossamer curtains open, slipping through the gap while cradling you to his chest.
Seungcheol lowers you onto your bed, fluffing and adjusting the pillows the best he could. He finds a jug of water and a cup resting on a nearby table. Filling the cup, he tilts it up your lips. “Here. Drink.” You take small sips, holding not the cup, but his hands as he feeds the water to you. He feels your fingers trembling. Once a small noise of protest leaves you at the water still falling past your lips, Seungcheol quickly sets the cup aside, easing you into a lying position.
You close your eyes, breathing finally steady. Sorrow tugs at his heart as he wipes the sweat off your brow.
“Oh Goddess, how did this happen to you?”
It has been many centuries since the last time an immortal crossed the River. He wonders if the Underworld would be to your taste, absent of Life as it is. Only the lands of the blessed are lush with any kind of greenery, as it is near enough to Life, housing souls getting ready for reincarnation.
Lost in his thoughts, he does not notice the string of death that guided him to you suddenly wink into brilliant gold and disappear.
The Goddess’ eyes snap open, and Seungcheol startles. All too quickly, he feels strong hands grasp at his forearms and push. He stumbles back, almost tripping over his robes, but before he is able to resist, he lands in the middle of what he realizes is a ritual circle. The runes around his feet burst into brilliant gold light, washing the world in their glow. Vines rapidly begin to sprout, curling, tangling, and twisting above and around him. From beyond the light, he hears a faint voice chanting.
It is magic, but one entirely foreign to his eyes.
Finally, the glow fades. That same force he sensed earlier seems to be binding him in place, making his limbs ten times heavier than normal. Seungcheol fights to stand, grasping at the structure in front of him to help himself up. A great tangle of vines surrounds him; despite their flimsy appearance, they refuse to break or wilt with any amount of magic he forces into them.
In fact, they only seem to grow stronger.
Confusion gives way to realization, and then dawning fury. He zeroes in on the woman on the other side of the cage. The haze in your eyes has disappeared, replaced with a sharp gaze and a triumphant smirk. Around you, the air crackles with power.
“Caught you.”
#choi seungcheol x reader#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seungcheol x you#svt fanfiction#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen imagines#𓂃 ོ𓂃 divesite
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The perfect contradictory character of wei wuxian
i'm writing this as i eat chocolate instead of working on my WIP lol - but essentially i've been thinking a lot about when a fic characterization of WWX just hits the spot for me, and when it doesn't. Now whether this type of characterization is canon I think is always partially a matter of opinion, because by its very nature a fanfic cannot be...well, canon. And it is made all the more complicated by the existence of CQL canon and MDZS canon, and the different MDZS canons with different scenes and levels of censorship, and the way fans and fic writers often franken-canon it together. So this post is only my rambling about characterizing WWX in fic.
Whenever I write WWX, i always find it a balancing act. Talkative, but not too talkative; golden-hearted, but willing to question what society sees as moral; confident, but complicatedly so depending on what point he's at in his character arc; oblivious, but not oblivious; impulsive, but analytical. I'm also constantly asking myself "Is this a personality trait, or a result of his environment? Both? What would impact his character if there are different events or circumstances?
And then there's the appearance of what his character is, which is almost just as important as his actual character. The masks or roles he puts on for others, or the ways those around him willfully misinterpret him. How does this character perceive WWX's actions in this or that context? Do they find him reckless, oblivious, or call him morally wrong (even when he isn't)? Does WWX want them to react a certain way, and does that impact how he acts around them?
In my opinion, writing WWX in a modern setting or genderbend is perhaps the most challenging. Not only do you have to ask yourself what personality he'd have if it were shaped by different cultural standards, gender roles, or backstory, a fic author might also want to do their best to preserve his character integrity as a "classic golden-hero turned dark anti-hero" archetype, but have no idea how to translate that into completely different set of circumstances.
For instance, WWX and gender roles. I really love that WWX is a subversion of the classical masculine hero archetype in cnovels. As a teenager, he's confident, flirty, intelligent, skilled, enjoys having fun and not taking life too seriously. As a resurrected MXY, he has no issue pretending to be a lunatic cutsleeve, so no toxic masculinity there lol - he also likes getting swept off his feet by LWJ, and playing up the "helpless maiden" role, and is very much a romantic with cottagecore dreams, saving his first kiss (traditionally that kind of innocent romanticism is attributed as a "feminine" trait, regardless of whether it actually is or not) - LWJ in contrast falls into many feminine tropes such as being known for his beauty/grace, the way he carries the money pouch (women traditionally managed the finances), can cook, has petty jealousy, etc - while at the same time undeniably also has masculine traits. The way Wangxian subvert gender roles and tropes is wonderful and i love their characters for it.
But then how does one even begin to translate that dynamic into a genderbend? Does teenage WWX still have that masculine classic hero personality? Or does she become traditionally feminine with LWJ the one acting more masc? Do different gender roles and expectations affect how WWX interacts with the world, such as how they react to her flirting, her confidence, her heroic tendencies? I read a fic a few years ago that I thought it a fabulous job exploring some of these very questions in the canon setting. I am still devastated that it remains incomplete.
Whenever I read a fic with Wei Wuxian, I always fall in love with depictions of his character that capture some of this balance, these "contradictions," so to speak (I don't have a better word to describe it than contradictions, even though these traits don't actually contradict. Ig I could say character complexity? But people often throw that phrase around without explaining what they mean by it, so). It's what makes him such a cool character to read about. It's also what makes him so unbelievably difficult to write sometimes. So many fic authors struggle with his character, whether attributing a trait to him that he only appears to have, like thoughtlessness. Or project a trait onto him that he doesn't seem to have that much, like insecurity, or not knowing his own worth as a person/or not knowing the magnitude of his abilities.
WWX to me has always seemed to know exactly how skilled he is and what he is capable of, and he at least intellectually seems to be aware that he is not unlovable or worth less than others, even if he is required to act or treat himself as less than his peers due to classism and society. I've always felt that his attitude towards himself, his own worth and his own ability, is a sort of practicality that would come from growing up as a street kid whose only goal is survival, and who is completely aware of just how little the world cares if he does or not.
Then there's the concept of him being ridiculously oblivious/emotionally unintelligent, which many others have talked about before me. I think this idea in the fandom largely stems from the fact that Wei Wuxian doesn't pick up on a lot of small details that he later recognizes and realizes later on. But there's been a lot of discussion of how much of that was because of comphet, situational circumstances, and LWJ's own reticence that prevented or distracted WWX from making those connections earlier in the canon timeline. This means that this "obliviousness" is likely something that would change if the circumstances are different, such as WWX existing in a world with no comphet, or existing in a timeline where he isn't dealing with Wen indoctrinations or being severely traumatized by the burial mounds and a war, LWJ being less repressed and hot-cold etc, etc, etc.
Now, one WWX characterization i genuinely have such a hard time reading is manic pixie WWX. The ones where he's just... chirpy. Bubbly. (Usually really oblivious. Never intentionally breaking rules, he just can't help it! he's just too cute and enthusiastic uwu) I can't explain why, I don't even know why, but it grates on my every. last. nerve. (that being said, if u want to write manic pixie WWX, then write whatever u want, seriously. Don't even think about letting my opinion stop u from doing what you like and having fun)
As for depictions I really love to see: a WWX that kind of scoffs at rules/the system. One who genuinely has a somewhat poor opinion of LWJ's character before LWJ proves himself, because I like a good enemies/rivals-to-friends-to-lovers because that's how I believe he sees LWJ until LWJ punishes both himself and WWX and WWX goes "oooh u don't use the system to self-benefit or aggrandize or oppress, you're actually trying to be like, moral. I respect that, actually. Let's be friends and go on bromantic outings in Lotus Pier"
Or when WWX's teasing gets a little mean, because WWX can be a little mean, often unintentionally so, but still (think WWX showing LWJ porn/intentionally pushing LWJ's buttons, WWX making that comment about JL's mom). I think it's a character flaw of his that adds depth/complexity.
Also, WWX trolling people/enjoying mischief and making people question the "system." I've always felt his first-life self had the kind of annoying swagger that a guy who Knew He Looked Like That and Knew Exactly How Smart He Was that would honestly make me so annoyed if I knew him irl. Like, Mianmian, I get it. LWJ, I get it.
Basically, I like when his character is written to make u so mad you aren't sure if you want to throttle him or kiss him silly (especially if it's a LWJ pov). Or when he acts super carefree/silly, at the same time as he shows how scarily smart he is. It's the juxtaposition. The contradiction. *slaps hand on the metaphorical table in emphasis*
[TL;DR] So what i'm trying to say is, writing WWX is a challenge, but one that is so worth it.
Alright I've spent like an hour on this post, so though there's so much more I could talk about, I'll leave it at that for now. For those of you who would still really like a part 2 of that "so i read a comment bashing LWJ" post, i do plan to write more on that, so keep an eye out 👁️
#the untamed#cql#mdzs#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#chen qing ling#lan wangji#mdzs fanfiction#mdzs fic#wangxian fic#wangxian fanfic#writing wei wuxian#wei ying#character analysis#character rant#mdzs wwx#wwx
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When I first sent in the request, I only ever had the image of an apocalypse au where despite the turmoil of the world, you could see someone without scars and think that they had someone who loved them, despite and through it all (or some vague but cliche metaphor about scars on the surface healed but the ones below skin deep remaining).
I DID NOT think you would take this prompt and bring it as far as you did, but I am endlessly grateful.
In return for the mile, I give you…hopefully also a mile, but more likely to be a (meter to kilometer worth's) mess of annotations, some circling around the use of kisses and breath as linked to both love and the apocalypse, and love in the midst of and despite an apocalypse (not spoiler free). As a diver (not clickbait btw I really am licensed HAHA) this suddenly made me have very strong feelings about oxygen
It isn’t until much later, until the damage is irreparable and the Rapture is imminent, that you will realize it.
The use of "rapture" as the naming of this loss of oxygen was so so interesting, and I like how the motifs of kissing and breath are tied with the name and nature of the apocalypse in this story—rapture as associated with ecstasy, joy, love, and loss of breath (ie something that takes one's breath away). Rapture to stand for the breath that is being lost. (The experience of rapture as the price to pay to stay alive?)
The world as you know it is ending— but at least you have Seungcheol.
Fuck!!!!!!
You roll your eyes. He shouldn’t see it in the darkness, but he knows you all too well. “And don’t roll your eyes at me!” His reprimand draws a short laugh from you. Even that feels like a monumental effort, like it's a waste of good air.
Adore adore how he just knows, an easy intimacy that's been built together as a couple; now to be tried and weathered by the world. Got distracted by the idea of cuddling w bare-chested Seungcheol, but more serious thoughts below
[COVID mention] Not necessarily in this excerpt, but the mentions of work from home, of sociopolitical and cultural tensions mentioned and painted in broad strokes, really situate this story nicely. I remember during the pandemic and mask-wearing was mandatory, that many commentaries and metaphor on breath and living became a thing, and this reminded me of that.
But, on this quote specifically, and this scene—of the scarcity of good air, and the ticking clock that "unnecessary" breath can be—love, including sex, also becomes wasteful.
Seungcheol doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the two of you waking up in pools of your own sweat, doesn’t care that there are whole government newscasts on how to preserve oxygen in enclosed spaces. He holds you like a lifeline and kisses you until you’re breathless.
Insert above commentary on the irony of Rapture as the name of the apocalypse, but also, it got me thinking about how in an apocalypse where breath becomes precious, rapture would not be the worst way to go. It's also a reoccurring motif in other segments, but I just want to say that good on this couple that joy and (real) rapture are still treated as worthy of being reached and grasped amid the scarcity of what some would regard as its necessary prerequisites. Above line also links to the "Is it bad that I want you again" to "I want you all the time" + laughter bit (got me wanting to keel over)
In between giggles, he kisses every part of you. Again, and again, and again.
Tentatively, you press chaste kisses to the injuries. Seungcheol’s hands find purchase at your waist and he tilts his head back, letting you work your magic. He’s quiet as your lips trace over each gash and wound, as you take away all the hurt with the ghost of a kiss.
Obviously not present in the POV of this fic, but I do like to think that some outsider saw the lack of scars on these two people weathering the end of the world together and understood that they loved and were loved. Also, Seungcheol as trying to ease worry through levity (and masking vulnerability with affection) makes me both swollen with love and profoundly sad
Anyway, the good stuff: Today’s sunset painted the sky purple. We snagged some still-cold cans of Sprite in an abandoned 7-Eleven. Cheol spotted a family of ducks crossing the road, pointed it out, and said “us, soon!” Us, soon. It feels dangerous to hope, but that’s all I seem to do nowadays. That and being on the run. (Cheol made me strike out that last part, but whatever.)
US SOON?!?!!?!? YOU WANT TO JINJJA KILL ME
anyway, smth smth hope does not have feathers, she has a bloody lip and scars on her chin and dirt under her fingernails, etc—
And so here is a small list of things I took for granted:
GRRRR this got me, also cos I have chewed on the idea of lists as a sort of antithesis to narrative (not my idea specifically, but one from a review/chapter of a book that I remember discussed the white album) (I have not read any Didion work pls do not come at me)
Lists catalog; they do not impose causality (which is sort-of essential to plot, which is almost always necessary in narrative). Anyway, this list catalogs loss (also a theme I have been chewing on for a while now to insert in a story somewhere, but bears mentioning here)
May the best of my todays be the worst of my tomorrows.
kennawt believe I was just listening to jason mraz the other day (cos his songs are roadtrip material) and THIS QUOTE comes up (never knew ppl attributed this to jay z until I did a quick search tho)
“People are dangerous when they're desperate,” he’d tell you softly— still his rational, kind self even when faced with the worst of mankind. He was with you. He was kind. He was yours. Even when the bullet lodged itself right between his ribs.
WHAT TEH FUKSCSDCSMJDHFS (< actual reaction reading this)
The people dispersed. The cause of the fight— a can of chicken noodle soup, once your comfort food— lay forgotten on the floor. The love of your life, staring unblinking at the sky. When you sink to the ground, you’re moving purely on instinct. Your quivering lips press over his chest, over the red blossoming and staining his shirt.
WHAT TEH FUKSCSDCSMJDHFS (2) THE COMFORT FOOD FUKDCSDFHDSJFHSFS
A final act of tenderness—as with loss is in general there isn't really anything to say the moment it hits. And it also shows in the brief entry (kisses don't work on bullet wounds.)
But also the parallels between this final act for Seungcheol and what he has done in the past:
You kiss him. Again. And again. And again.
In between giggles, he kisses every part of you. Again, and again, and again.
Not quite accurate to use enjambment here as the term, but the breaking of the lines, along with the use of periods in place of commas, brings a poetic sensibility along with hammering home the idea of an end; where enjambment is the line break that cuts a sentence in a poem, usually with no punctuation at the end of the line, here the sentence is cut, and periods indicate the end.
It is our deepest regret that the author is unnamed and that they cannot be properly credited. However, we know of two things with certainty. We know of a man named Seungcheol, and we know that he was loved.
You mentioned in your note at the start that "i cannot say with any certainty that this is a happy ending." And honestly, I can understand a gut reaction of "no duh its not a happy ending you're both dead"
I guess the lining to all this is simply the fact that even if life did not go on, the love remains and was (is) remembered. For these characters, there is no better way to be remembered—especially in a time where love could be linked to breath, and breath was a scarcity of its own. Digressing from breath, it reminded me of the last lines of Cold Solace by Anna Belle Kaufman:
I love you. It will end. Leave something of sweetness and substance in the mouth of the world.
ALLLLL THAT TO SAY. I am so so very in love with all this and you have my whole heart, mashed to pieces as it currently is </3333 your writing is a gift I am always blessed to read. All the love and tenderness (in Chen Chen's words, despite despite despite). Pacing and emotion handled so very well and with so much sensitivity to the characters. Little bits of light amid despair that make life a little more worth it. Love as life seen whole; life seen whole only through death. Etc etc etc (I love u I love u I love u)
like real people do ☢️ seungcheol x reader.
little is known about the apocalypse of 2017. a century later, archivists are now unveiling the relics they found from those who lived through that time.
★ seungcheol x reader. ★ word count: 2.1k ★ genre: alternate universe: apocalypse, alternate universe: soulmates (the only way for your scars to disappear is when your soulmate kisses them goodbye), angst, romance. ★ warnings: major character death. depictions of death/violence, injuries/scars. established relationship; suggestive scenes but no real smut. set in a fictional apocalyptic world. doubling down on the angst warning; i cannot say with any certainty that this is a happy ending. ★ footnotes: this is part of my follower milestone event. viv gave me an inch (a request for angsty seungcheol) and, in turn, i am giving her a mile (a whole thing instead of just a ficlet). mahal kita, @heartepub! this will be the last hozier brainrot i offer you— for now. + much thanks to @gyubakeries and @tusswrites for beta reading! love you both to the end of the world. ❤️🩹
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺ like real people do by hozier. apocalypse by cigarettes after sex. i know the end by phoebe bridgers. fourth of july by sufjan stevens. interlude: i’m not angry anymore by paramore. atlantis by seafret. end of beginning by djo. nobody’s soldier by hozier.
When the fish started dying, you did not think: This is how the world will end.
Why would you? The decimation of marine mammals and seabirds didn’t make the news. The misguided scientific breakthrough that triggered everything was kept under wraps.
It isn’t until much later, until the damage is irreparable and the Rapture is imminent, that you will realize it.
The world as you know it is ending— but at least you have Seungcheol.
There’s some cruelty in the timing of it all. The two of you had just moved in with each other, coasting on the honeymoon phase of a long-term couple with a new thing to share. The paint on your apartment’s walls had yet to dry when the government declared a state of national emergency.
Dozens of other countries followed suit not long after, all blaming one thing or the other. Food crises. Social unrest. Cultural collapse.
“This is crazy,” Seungcheol grumbles.
The television is playing clips of a hurricane tearing through the Philippines. Extreme weather conditions, the reporters are saying. Due to the rise of CO₂ levels.
You and Seungcheol are sprawled out on the floor, watching it unfold. The furniture store meant to deliver your couch has delayed shipment until further notice.
Seungcheol has always been the sulky type, though the expression on his face nowadays has been less of his trademark pout and more of a serious frown. You can feel his growing agitation in the stiff way he holds you, in the set of his eyebrows.
“It’s crazy,” you agree quietly, resting your hand on his knee in a bid to calm him a bit. “But it’ll pass.”
Your touch seems to give some sort of reprieve. He rolls his shoulders. He unclenches his jaw.
“It’ll pass,” he echoes, reaching out to intertwine your fingers.
Neither of you knew just how wrong you could be.
April 8, 2017
Weird times. Cheol knows just how anxious I get when I’m cooped up, so he encouraged me to pick up journaling. I’m not sure how much this will help, but it’s worth a try.
It’s been a month since everything has essentially gone on ‘lockdown’. The news says that all of this started because researchers wanted to regulate harmful algae. Their genetically engineered virus ended up infecting all algae, and now the majority of phytoplankton are just... dead.
I don’t know what to write about. Terrible oxygen levels? Seafood costing a fortune? This ‘work from home’ system everyone is trying to figure out?
I guess I should just write about the good stuff. That way, when I look back on these entries, I can remember something good.
Today, Cheol tried to fix a leaking faucet himself instead of calling for a plumber. We flooded the kitchen floor, and ended up wet from head to toe.
I cooked pasta, called mom and dad on Skype, and watched the latest episode of Santa Clarita Diet.
Once everything opens up again, Cheol and I have to visit my parents. (And ‘get better screwdrivers’, he claims.)
When Seungcheol first kissed you, you did not think: This man is my soulmate.
It had been a clumsy, shy thing, traded way back when the two of you were high schoolers still stealing away from your eagle-eyed parents. Seungcheol liked to wax poetics about how it was perfect even though you know that first kiss was more a clash of teeth than anything.
You don’t discover the truth of everything until a couple of years into dating. Seungcheol had gotten into playing basketball, and, one evening, you absentmindedly pressed your lips to a scar he had at the bend of his elbow.
The mark smoothed out instantly.
Seungcheol had giggled at the development before spending the rest of the night kissing every inch of your skin that he could reach— injured or not. You still think it’s one of your best memories as a couple.
Kisses that healed scars. You hadn’t believed in the stories yourself until it had happened to you, until you realized how fortunate you were that your soulmate wasn’t halfway across the world or something. No, you had your soulmate, and he was more than willing to kiss away all your wounds.
You had counted yourself as lucky. You still think you are, even now, as Seungcheol strokes your hair and holds you to his chest in the pitch black darkness of your apartment.
His voice is quiet and small when he speaks up. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?” you mutter back.
“I’m sure this isn’t what you imagined,” he says. “For us moving in together and everything.”
An amused snort escapes you. Of course that would be your boyfriend’s concern. There’s the rotational power outages and the merciless prices of goods due to inflation, but Seungcheol is worried about your expectations not being met.
You shift in his hold. The days have been getting warmer and warmer, and the evenings are no exception. Seungcheol has taken to sleeping shirtless. You’re a couple of celsius away from doing the same.
“It’s not your fault that we decided to move in together for the end times,” you say into the skin of his bare chest.
He gives the small of your back a light thwack. “What have I said about the apocalypse jokes?” he chides lightly.
You roll your eyes. He shouldn’t see it in the darkness, but he knows you all too well. “And don’t roll your eyes at me!”
His reprimand draws a short laugh from you. Even that feels like a monumental effort, like it's a waste of good air.
Seungcheol doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the two of you waking up in pools of your own sweat, doesn’t care that there are whole government newscasts on how to preserve oxygen in enclosed spaces.
He holds you like a lifeline and kisses you until you’re breathless.
“Cheol,” you whine against his mouth, the protest already at the tip of your tongue. The end is near; sex should be the last thing on your mind.
But then Seungcheol’s fingers toy with the hem of your shirt, and he sounds so, so sweet when he mumbles, “Yes, soulmate?”
That’s always gotten to you.
“Unfair,” you groan as you work on shucking off your own clothes. “You’re so unfair.”
In between giggles, he kisses every part of you. Again, and again, and again.
June 15, 2017
Cheol and I are on the run.
He keeps telling me not to call it that because it supposedly makes us sound like criminals. I think it’s just funny, and God knows I need something to find humor in.
As badly as I want to say “we have gone through worse before,” that would be a lie. We’re out of our apartment and trying to make our way to some place where there’s better air quality. In the meantime, we’re living out of his car. It’s so funny to me that I’ve started laughing until I’m crying.
Anyway, the good stuff: Today’s sunset painted the sky purple. We snagged some still-cold cans of Sprite in an abandoned 7-Eleven. Cheol spotted a family of ducks crossing the road, pointed it out, and said “us, soon!”
Us, soon. It feels dangerous to hope, but that’s all I seem to do nowadays. That and being on the run. (Cheol made me strike out that last part, but whatever.)
When Seungcheol finally admits to you that he is scared, you did not think: This means that things are much, much worse than I thought.
Maybe because there were bigger concerns, like the car’s blinking fuel warning light and the scratches littering Seungcheol’s arms. Like the fool that he was, he had gone against your well-meaning advice to not look for help.
He did not return unscathed.
Your lips are pursed in a thin line as you rip open a Band-Aid. It’s one of the few that the two of you have left, and Seungcheol seems to remember the fact. He reaches out to stop you.
“Hey, c’mon,” he urges, obviously trying to aim for levity. “You know there’s other ways we can fix me up, right?”
The frown that tugs at your lips shows that you’re still less-than-pleased at his little stunt.
“Maybe if you didn’t head out in the first place,” you grumble. “We wouldn’t need any of this.”
Seungcheol looks like he might push back, but seems to decide against it at the last minute. Instead, he wraps his fingers around your wrist and gives you a gentle tug.
“It won’t happen again.” His tone is edged with remorse, enough to almost convince you. Almost.
“No more playing hero?” you ask.
A corner of his lip twitches upward. “No more playing hero,” he concedes before tugging at you again.
You let him. You move closer into his space until you’re practically in his lap, until you’ve got a better view of the angry red cuts on his skin.
Tentatively, you press chaste kisses to the injuries. Seungcheol’s hands find purchase at your waist and he tilts his head back, letting you work your magic. He’s quiet as your lips trace over each gash and wound, as you take away all the hurt with the ghost of a kiss.
After a moment, he mumbles, “Is it bad that I want you right now?”
“Seungcheol.”
“Okay, okay.” A beat. “I want you all the time, actually.”
“Shut up!”
The sound of his laughter fills the car. It’s enough to have you forgetting his murmured confession of fear, the vulnerability that he had tried so quickly to cover up with affection. For a moment, there is nothing else in the world except this, except you, except him.
September 23, 2017
Is it weird to say that I’m starting to forget what it was like before all of this happened? Cheol is trying to assure me that it’s to be expected, that we’ll all be back to ‘normal’ soon, but I don’t even remember what normal is like anymore.
I can’t forget. I don’t want to forget. And so here is a small list of things I took for granted:
The first breeze that tells you winter is coming
The kindness of people who don’t know you
The smallest fish in the sea
Date nights with Cheol
Clean water
Breakfast
My parents
Cheol says there might be some biodomes ahead. Oxygen-regulated habitats. It sounds like something only the rich can afford. We don’t have a lot left between the two of us, and it’s getting harder to jump from building to building.
But there’s something waiting for us on the other side— right? There has to be.
May the best of my todays be the worst of my tomorrows.
When the gunshot rang out, you did not think: This is it.
Seungcheol never gave you any reason to think that way. He had held your hand as you raided rundown grocery stores. He had positioned himself in front of you when there were stampedes. The world might have been ending, but he was with you.
He was with you even when the strangers you ran into started getting more aggressive. He was with you even when fights would break out over necessities like water and medicine.
“People are dangerous when they're desperate,” he’d tell you softly— still his rational, kind self even when faced with the worst of mankind.
He was with you. He was kind. He was yours.
Even when the bullet lodged itself right between his ribs.
There is not much that you remember after that.
The people dispersed. The cause of the fight— a can of chicken noodle soup, once your comfort food— lay forgotten on the floor.
The love of your life, staring unblinking at the sky.
When you sink to the ground, you’re moving purely on instinct. Your quivering lips press over his chest, over the red blossoming and staining his shirt.
You kiss him. Again.
And again.
And again.
December 1, 2017
The kisses don’t work on bullet wounds.
▸ Archivist’s note: The following entries are undated and some portions had been redacted/deemed untranscribable. We are led to believe that the author struggled to cope in the aftermath of their soulmate’s death. For posterity, we have still reprinted their final entries.
You’re so unfair.
I still want you.
Things I took for granted: ███████, you, ███████, youyouyou.
What now?
My love, it’s only a matter of ███████—
▸ Archivist’s note: Nothing follows.
This concludes our transcribed logs. The full collection can be viewed at the National Museum of Remembrance.
It is our deepest regret that the author is unnamed and that they cannot be properly credited. However, we know of two things with certainty.
We know of a man named Seungcheol, and we know that he was loved.
#jsyk seeing seafret in your list of songs made me want to defenestrate myself before even STARTING TO READ. what the ficukskfhd#spoiler alert I sent apocalypse au not just for the prompt itself but bc its been an au I've been toying with (but for seungkwan's bday fic#binge listening to love wins all and shohikigen then reading this has destroyed me and I fear I need 10 business days to (hope to) recover#𓂃 ོ𓂃 dive log#𓂃 ོ𓂃 dive buddy: kae#I WILL GET TO REBLOGGING WORK SONG SEUNGCHEOL AND YOUR HOZIER INSPIRED JOSHUA FIC SOON. [THREAT]
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Wait... what was the swanqueen fic recs? ...and are there more (...esp if theyre smutty) 👀👀👀
oh there are more!!!
first of all i'm just going to plug myself because why not. i have 78 swan queen works up - mostly oneshots, a couple longfics, including the fic i'm currently writing, change with the seasons. a lot of my fics are older (for example my 52 weeks of swan queen series was written in 2015) and i was a teenager when i wrote them, but i still find a lot of joy in them!!
now for the rest of the recs, i'm going to organize them as best i can into a few categories. also, a lot of these recs will be a bit older as i've been away from the fandom for a while, and am only just now coming back again. this is an open question if anyone else has recommendations to add in the reblogs!!!
longfics:
satin town by @coalitiongirl is probably my all time favorite fanfic, period. everything she's written for the fandom is incredible, but this one has always stuck with me. the dynamic between emma and regina (who is in full on evil queen mode) is just DELICIOUS and i love how she worked henry into the story. an absolute must as far as i'm concerned. PLUS she has a whole NOVEL out now, so go support that if you like the fic!!!!
the secret's in the telling by @the-pyrophoric-one is another classic in the fandom, and for good reason. the characterization is so spot on, and i absolutely love the arc of this story. the chapters are suuuuuper long though so it's a time investment!!
somewhere, someone must know the ending by maleficently who is not on tumblr as far as i'm aware is a divorce au. lots of angst with a happy ending. the same author also wrote an incredible three-part series called the fatal plunge, which remains, tragically, unfinished.
you gotta play dirty by amycarey who i'm not tagging because they don't write fic anymore. there's so many fics by amycarey that i absolutely adore (temporary distractions and keep the wolves outside by living well are also up there!!) but i chose this one because it's so unique to me. it's an au in which emma and regina are in a concert band together. i was a band kid myself, specifically a clarinetist, so i was pretty geeked over this!!
all that glitters is not (olypmic) gold by @queststar is another super niche but super fun and well-written au. in this one, emma and regina are olympic speed skaters. i just love the competitive energy between the two of them and the arc as they grow closer and eventually fall for each other. the author even got elizabeth mitchell to read some of it which is just. next level.
one fine star away by @bytherosebushlaughing is another au that gets a little meta, but it's sooooo much fun. in this fic, once upon a time is a tv show that regina, emma, and the others starred in. 20 some years later, the cast is reuniting, and the reunion is being covered by none other than one henry mills. it's such a clever fic, and i absolutely love it so far!!
oneshots:
of love and loss and love again by @snowivyimconfusi oh this one. this one is so bittersweet. emma and regina, grieving the losses of their partners, find comfort in each other. and more. it's so beautifully done, and i just adore ivy's writing style!!
what you thought you had to do by hoovahhoopah is the very first fic i read after making my ao3 account and it's still one that i love!! it's part of a six part series of oneshots called ill fitting pieces, but it also stands on its own just as well. just a beautiful, classic, canon-but-make-it-better kind of fic.
a woman moves when her heart has been broken by etotheswan because who among us wasn't absolutely destroyed by the season 3 finale???? this offered a lot of swan queen based catharsis while we waited for season 4.
monster-in-law by seriousfic is just a funny, light-hearted little oneshot about mary margaret trying to stop emma and regina's wedding by reminding them that they're all sort of related. a big departure from the seriousfic work we all know and miss dearly..... but enjoyable nonetheless thanks to their talent!!
and now, the moment we've all been waiting for, smut:
top of the list is, of course, our prophet of swan queen smut @angstbotfic. the making amends series is my all time favorite, and one that i recommended to my dear friend 27, but you can't go wrong with literally anything they've written.
wicked games by @starsthatburn is so. is so. it left me basically speechless. also recommended this one to 27, and i believe this is the one referenced in the ask they sent. it's the most insanely hot BDSM fantasy. if you like domme regina, look no further.
the thing she won't admit by beattheodds if you like butt stuff, here's swan queen butt stuff. need i say more?
paint it black by wily_one24 heed the warnings, this one is pretty dark. but if that's what you're into, this is the one. it's like if 50 shades of grey was swan queen and also good.
of love and loathing by morganlegaye and its sequel, transgressions of the heart are a hatefuck lover's dream. transgressions of the heart remains unfinished, but god is it good.
fealty by standbackufools you like throne sex? you like honorifics? you like D/s dynamic? enjoy :)
thank god it's BDSM friday by carrotlucky13 this one covers soooooo many kinks. emma and regina enter into a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle. for 95k words. i don't know what else to say but WOWOWOWOW. even if you're not into every kink in here it's still hot af.
emma's little problem by juicecup it's a magic!cock story with a slight humiliation kink if you squint, but otherwise mostly vanilla sex to round out a very kinky rec list.
go give these incredible creators some love!!! and remember, nothing motivates a fic writer quite like a nice comment :)
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Ace Head Canons nobody asked for because I’m thinking about her again:
She really likes suckers and gum. It’s the number one thing she’s stealing from the DX anytime they go in to bother Steve and Soda. While Dallas is stealing Winston Cigarettes, Ace is stuffing pink sticks of bubblegum and red cherry suckers in her pockets. And she loves the bubblegum machines that sit in the lobby of nearly every restaurant. Every time they go out to eat, you know she is begging Soda, Steve, Two-Bit, or even Dallas for a nickel to put in that machine.
“Come on Two-Bit, you gotta have a nickel on you! Don’t hold back! You know, I’ll be less likely to talk if I’m chewin’ gum!” So much begging, sometimes Dallas relents.
“I gotta nickel you can have, just shut up your whining kid.”
She has one birthday where Steve and Sodapop thought about trying to buy her one of the bubblegum machines. It ended up being too expensive so they recruited Two-Bit and Dallas to help them steal the one in Morty’s bar house and grill. They pulled it off and they gave it to her. (It was the best gift she has received to this day)
She also really likes candy canes around Christmas and those candy cigarettes you get at corner stores.
Ace also really likes music. Currently (near the events of the musical) she is really into Etta James and her mother’s old Nina Simone records but the reason she fell in love with music was originally because of Billie Holiday.
As a kid, her mom had one of the original singles of ‘Strange Fruit’ from 1939. It was one of the only things she had left of her mom. (That record and an old pack of cigarettes)
She couldn’t bear to listen to it, but one day she finally did. She cried the first time. She was all of eleven and at this point she knew that greasers shouldn’t cry. But she had learned about the way her dad died recently and her moms notes in the record sleeve didn’t help much at all.
Since that moment, she was set on finding every Billie Holiday record she could. It would have been pretty hard since Billie died in 1959 and many of her records were banned in more conservative communities. Another reason Ace likes her.
In her obsession, she turned Johnny on to Billie Holiday. It was one of those nights when Johnny couldn’t stay at home, he felt he was overstaying his welcome at the Curtis home, and god only knows what Dallas was getting up to. She convinced Johnny to come home with her and Steve to their aunt's house.
Ace turned on a Billie Holiday record and Steve started making fun of her but Johnny just listened and commented quietly.
“I really like the song Ace. She sounds tuff.” Ace simply stuck her tongue out at Steve and turned back to Johnny.
“Thanks Johnny, you know my momma liked her too?” Now, Johnny and Ace share a love of Billie Holiday.
Dallas Winston became a sort of older brother for Ace growing up. Most of the gang were but she knew for a fact that Dallas would actually kill someone for her.
She can remember one time after a Saturday night out when some guys started a fight with their little gang. One of the guys who was hitting her spat out a slur and Dallas went off on him. She’d never seen him so angry. He pulled the guy off of her, cussed him out, and kicked him so hard that his skull cracked open. At least, that’s what she heard from some of the guy's friends the next week.
It was at that moment, she knew that Dallas Winston was always gonna have her back.
Just like Dallas will call Johnny and Ponyboy ‘brother’ he’ll call Ace ‘sister’. Like… all the time.
“What’s goin’ on sistah?” Then he’ll sling an arm around her shoulders and pat her head. “You stayin’ out of trouble Ace kid?”
Also I’m like 99% sure there was a scene with Ace similar to the instance where Dallas told Johnny and Pony that ‘you guys are like my brothers, like we are in war or something. I’d die for you.’ There has been an instance where he tells Ace the same thing. (Maybe I’ll write that fic one day)
She won’t tell anyone, but her favorite spot in all of Tulsa is an old Juke Joint on the outskirts of town that Two-Bit told her about. Two-Bit was a regular, not necessarily going for the music but for the booze.
Ace likes to go for the music though. One of her favorite instruments in jazz is the trumpet, she likes it when they play it so loud that it makes that shrill vibrato sound. Ace made quick friends with Rosalind who was the bartender and head chef of the Double Deuce. (The Double Deuce was a real Juke Joint in Tulsa, let me know if you want the sources.)
Sometimes Rosalind will slip her cokes in those old whiskey glasses while Ace is at the counter swaying to the music. Rosalind also knows Two-Bit (and Dallas) and she was happy to learn that Two-Bit had some actual good friends.
Ace just really likes music and dancing. Two-Bit is her favorite person to dance with other than her brother Steve. He was the first one in the gang that made her feel safe and he is one of the only ones who takes the time and actually likes to dance with her.
The Double Deuce Juke Joint is her favorite place in all of Tulsa because it is one of the only places where she can let out all those feelings. She can dance as wild and free as she feels on the inside most of the time.
I'll probably do another set of these because I love Ace and have so many thoughts about her and her lore. Thanks for reading!
#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#sodapop curtis#two bit mathews#steve randle#the outsiders broadway#ace outsiders musical#ace the outsiders#ace evans#ace randle#tilly evans krueger#dallas winston#darry curtis#johnny cade#my headcanons
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thinking about sylus being with reader when she discovers that caleb is alive.. you write her emotions and trauma from caleb’s death so so well.. if you’re interested 👀
Thank you for sending this! I have so many thoughts about this, because I love this idea and I would actually love to write it in the future. But just for expectation management, I need to say the following, because I've made it clear about how excited I am for Caleb, and the livestream just confirmed that I'm going to be insane about this character in a similar way to how much I love Sylus:
I don't think I can write a universe with Sylus in it where MC doesn't return his love and choose him every single time. Sylus needs MC. They gave him his name, taught him what love is, cursed him to live over and over again; he traded half his soul for hers. They are soulbound. I will never, ever separate them for someone else, so I will never write a story where MC is struggling to choose between Sylus and Caleb. I've never written or thought much about poly before, but I think Caleb + Sylus + MC poly would be a solution, even if my monogamous soul would need to dig deep into my imagination to make it happen in a way that would please readers both poly and otherwise. But if I'm writing SylusMC from the Sylus series, then it will always be: MC loved Caleb like a brother. Angst would come from Sylus being able to recognize that Caleb loves MC as more than a brother and being worried they'd turn to Caleb once they realize it too, but it would be a worry that only lives in his head. MC would be simultaneously overwhelmed with joy and relief, as well as torn and have such complicated feelings about being forced to believe that Caleb was dead. But there will never even be a question in MC's mind that Sylus is their dragon, their safety, their own beloved, their everything. The angst would not come from a love triangle. It would simply be Sylus's insecurity and MC's dealing with what feels like a betrayal from the one person who promised to always come home, but didn't, and then let them believe he was dead.
And if I end up loving Caleb the way I love Sylus, I'll never be able to write a fic where MC is choosing Sylus over Caleb. Like, I will write Caleb as the loving brother/childhood best friend, or Sylus as the chaotic, loving best friend, if I ever write fics where MC is with one and the other is also mentioned.
SO I LOVE your ask, I would love to write something like you're suggesting in the future, but there are more things that need to happen in the sylus series before i would bring caleb back. And if it doesn't end up in the series, then it would be a fun one-shot to do about caleb's return when mc is already head over heels for our dragon. Thanks so much for this ask!
#sara answers#i figure i should respond now#because who knows how long it will take to write#but i'll tag you when i write the fic if you'd like and also mention you when i post it that you were the one to ask for it
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let me die, Gabriel
drawing inspired by a scene from the fic (can’t) let go by lucidreamarium
#UNLEARNING SHAME BY POSTING THIS IM UNLEARNING SHAME#my posts#fanart#digital art#digital fanart#reaper76#reaper overwatch#gabriel reyes#soldier 76#jack morrison#overwatch#fic fanart#I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT REAPER76#I DONT GIVE A DUCK WHAT CANON IS I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON THEM#digital illustration#I love this fic so much I have so many thoughts that I can only explain through screaming
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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Screenshots somebody’s DNI and has one herself saying no antis or busybodies. Cool. It’s the internet. Anything goes. That means I can rb your fanfics and save them for editing the way you save art that isn’t incestuous.
I mean, if you want to download my fics and comb through all of that incest and underage smut, that's your prerogative, man. Hope you get a boner out of it, then maybe you'll calm down 💕
#ask#anonymous#anon hate#proship#also I didn't screenshot that dni it's from a dm with my friend#i think it would be SO funny if you tried to edit one of my incest fics actually lmao#because it's not like fanart where you can just color over the blushes or something#editing takes so much time and thought#and SO MANY of my fics are JUST about the incest (ficlets/drabbles)#or the gross nasty themes are so deeply entwined with the narrative that you might as well just throw the whole thing out#so feel free! send it to me when you're done lol i bet it'll be good for a laugh#considering you'll have to half the word count and change everything about it#honestly you might as well write your own fics#but of course antis only know how to tear down and not how to create anything#also of course i save art that isn't incestuous? 🤨 i don't think about incest ALL THE TIME the way you people do#i love platonic relationships too#most of my fics are actually gen#believe it or not you can ship something AND also like their platonic relationship
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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meowdy... <3
#i'm so close to caught up on everyone's lovely art and fics ;_; hghghgh and if you've sent an ask i'll answer it soon!!#[to the one person who knows who she is: KJSNKJN. KJSNDKJNDKJ. AAAAAA???? (positive)]#i've been very avoidant lately of online spaces ;; pt has been hard on my wrists so i haven't been able to work much on my plushie#and typing has been just as hard -- if it isn't the pain it's the inflamed nerves wrecking my hand-eye coordination#so i think i'm pressing keys when i'm not or i'm pressing all of the wrong keys. so it takes me twice as long to type anything ;;#i'm hoping we're building a good rapport tho and finding an equilibrium between Not Pushing Enough#and TOO MUCH TOO MUCH OW OW OW (week-long whole-arm nerve pain) kjsnfkjn so. i hope that means i'll be able to type regularly again soon!!!#we're just in the learning phase of both of us figuring out what my nerves can handle without exploding lmao. turns out: not much!!#i really want to talk to people again rghhhh i miss everyone sm!!! i keep being like 'wow i'm so lonely i wonder why that is'#<- has been disconnected from friends for many weeks#i WAS finally able to finish ren's face tho! very slowly! and i'm close to done w the body embroidery!!!#excited to have that done. not excited to start hand sewing. wish i had a working sewing machine even if i could only sit at it#for a few minutes at a time sjdfnskjn life could be a dream...#HENNYWAISE. hopefully i will soon have my carpal tunnel and pinched nerves reined in. my mars anniv is tomorrow#and i don't have anything to show for it bc of my wrists so. blows a kiss into the sky for her <3 my beloved oc-ified oushirou KJNSDKJN#i'm rambling and dont want to edit things bc pain from today's appointment ok i love u byebye 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -#<- just in case
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dear god that would be turbo cringe or whatever, but seeing all those annoying little things in fics over and over again really makes me want to write one in which they're not obligatory funnymoments but rather like, words that have meaning and weight and so on
#shrimp thoughts#like. 1. characters acting all cryptic and condescending when their friend who isn't aware they're queer and in love comes to them for#advice like 'oh figure it out yourself baby :)' that's so obnoxious. this is a romcom not a hero's journey you're TWENTY not a Wise Mentor#2. characters acting condescending and rolling their eyes soooo hard about how their friend hasn't figured/took them so long to figure out#they're queer because it was so obvious! how can you be so dense! or: how can you be IGNORANT of kink matters (that we never told you about#3. characters making retching noises and complaining how disgusting/gross their friends are once they get together. the friends aren't#like frenching or fucking on the dining table but just smiling at each other. free pass at homophobia nonetheless ig#4. characters reacting to any sort of doubts/internal conflict their friend has with 'omg who cares just do the thing! stop overthinking!'#ETC ETC#so many times i've started reading a good fic with an otherwise engaging characterization only for the writer to pull an Easy Fan Favourite#like one of the above and like ggggghhhhhhhhhh#if it was one (1) character in one (1) fandom or even just a type of characters i wouldn't mind AS MUCH but it's everyone whether it makes#sense for them or not. is this guy calm and sensitive? doesn't matter! he's going to do and say the same things a silly chatterbox type#of a character because telling your friends they're gross for being a couple is universal now#OH i almost forgot. everyone's having kinky sex of many different kinds but react like twitter teenagers to any mention of sex in general#'ew! TMI! i don't want to hear about all the insane shit you do in your bedroom! not in front of the children! not while i'm eating!'#'just read better fanfiction' look i'm TRYING i'm TRYING OKAY
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#the sctir brain rot is real even tho I haven’t picked it back up in literal months#just thinking about Han Yoojin and Yoohyun and Yerim and this is why I write fic for them. cause I just. SCREAM#I’m dumping a lot of my thoughts into the authors notes so that when I post it hopefully tmrw I can inflict damage#but it’s just. I love them so much. I have so many agonies scenarios for them#hyj loves his brother so much that he can’t just let him die nor be alone. he’s constructed his whole life of being a caretaker#and if he can’t be a caretaker then what is he? what has he spent his entire life doing?#hyh loves his brother so much that he knows that he can’t get hyj to leave him even if hyh is sure that’s the only way hyj can be safe#not that he wants it of course but he breaks away from hyj so violently because he’s seventeen and he misses his brother and he’s hurting#but this is the only way he can see to actually take care of his brother for once#cause there’s also the guilt you know? my situation is very different from there’s but I’m also a younger sibling lol#and don’t get me started on yerim… oh yerim my childddd#I think about scenarios for all of them and I’m like ach it’s all about love#and it’s the fact that love isn’t the only thing that goes into a relationship#veering more into au territory but the brothers love each other very much but that doesn’t mean that hyh isn’t afraid or bitter thinking#that yerim is sort of a redo/better version of him#cause like Yoojin is older now and more prepared to actually take care of a child and yerim is more outwardly likeable than Yoohyun ever was#and it goes on and on and on and damn I really need to do he#*hw. so gotta leave this rant in the tags#but YEAH anywyas that’s why I hate it when people are just like yh is possessive haha! like you don’t GET it.#esp when people take that to then mean shopping time 🤮🤢🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫#jkb.talk
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