#I love saying quote sandwich

[dragonagehumor]

Do you have a topic you can give a speech about with no research? Would you like to share the speech?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer

Writing: fiction or nonfiction... essays, short stories, novels, editing, and so on.

*clears throat* WELCOME TO MY WRITING TED TALK!

One of my favorite tips to give students struggling with how to properly write essays: use quote sandwiches! It’s such a fun phrase that it’s memorable. A quote sandwich consists of a sentence that introduces/sets up the quote and how the quote relates to the paragraph’s topic sentence, then a second sentence that is the quote itself, then a third sentence that summarizes the takeaway from the quote. By using this method you never make the mistake of ending an essay paragraph with a quote (big no-no) and you’re providing appropriate substance to your essay content.

Editing tip: its versus it’s. The word "it's" is a contraction for "it is" while the word "its" is the possessive form of "it." If you use “it’s”, read the sentence back to yourself by substituting “it is” for “it’s”. If it’s wrong, you used the wrong form. Example:

“The lion ate it’s meal.” (The lion ate it is meal -- NOPE!)

“The lion ate its meal.” (YUP -- the meal belongs to the lion!)

Fiction writing: I could go on for hours about this topic. While there is no right or wrong when it comes to ideas, there are shades of good and bad when it comes to the strength of your writing. Here are a handful of my tips.

Even if you’re an excellent editor, another editor or beta readers will catch things you are blind to in your own work. Nothing kills what could have been a wonderful story/book quicker than a poor editing job.

Sensory details are important to draw readers into a scene. We want to see where the characters are, smell what they’re smelling, hear what they’re hearing, and so on. Don’t go overboard, of course, unless it serves the plot to do so, but give us enough that we have a basis to fill in the rest with our imaginations. 

If you have a character missing one of their senses (blind, deaf, etc), keep in mind that from their point of view, they’ll be drawing more from the other senses they have. A blind character may not see what’s in a room, but they’re going to pick up on scents, sounds, the texture of objects, etc.

Understanding your character’s traits and what drives them is important to giving them life on the page and making them relatable, otherwise they’ll fall flat. If I feel stuck on giving a character more depth, I like to go through personality types to help shape who they are.

Drawing from real life experiences can help -- not to re-create the entirety of that experience on the page, but pieces can heighten the connection your reader feels. This is basically the “write what you know” mantra, but I prefer to think of it as “use what you know and make it something new.” Just don’t rely on it, especially in a longer piece where it might only work for a scene or two.

You can use the word “say” in dialogue tags. It’s VERY noticeable when a writer goes out of their way to never use “say” -- I have rage quit on books that use a different dialogue tag word for every damn line of dialogue. On the flipside, using “say” too much is overwhelming for a reader as well, so there needs to be a balance. It’s also okay to use alternatives (”growls”, “mumbles”, etc) -- these help bolster more emotional dialogue or tones of voices appropriate for certain situations (why would you talk at normal volume if you’re sneaking around, or whisper if you’re trying to be heard over helicopter rotors?).

However, the important thing is to not overdo dialogue tags. They’re not always necessary, especially if there’s only a couple characters in a scene and it’s clear who is speaking. This is also where action comes in, or internal thoughts/commentary. For an example (below the cut), I’ll use a snippet of a scene from one of my books, first using the dialogue tag of “say” wherever possible, then finally with what I actually used for the book. (For context, the POV character is blind, and she has just realized in this scene that artificial intelligence robots snuck into their part of the city.)

With way, way, too many “say” dialogue tags and less action/thoughts (aka the cringe version):

I release Midnight’s harness and stumble toward Qaze, who catches me when I reach out for him.

“Listen,” I say, trying to keep the panic from my voice.

“Kimara, what are you—” he says.

“Don’t talk,” I say. “Close your eyes. You can’t trust them right now. Focus on the sounds around you. Listen, Qaze.”

He stills, then his body tenses as he pulls me flush against him.

“Is that what I think it is?” Qaze says, his questioning voice low.

“Yes,” I say. “How did it get in the ward? Can’t you see it?”

His head lifts away from mine, and his neck moves under my fingertips. Then he lowers it back toward me.

“You need to come with me,” he says. “You’re not safe alone out here.” Qaze pulls back slowly, tugging on my hand. “You’re right, I’m not ready for this night to end yet either,” he says louder, pulling me toward his house.

Once the door shuts behind me, Qaze releases my hand. “Check the front rooms while I check the rest of the house?” he asks.

I do a sweep through the rooms I’m most familiar with—the den and dining area. Hearing nothing amiss, I lean against the front door to wait. I absentmindedly scratch Midnight’s head, then straighten when Qaze’s footsteps tread a path in this direction.

“Nothing in here. Come with me,” he says.

With intermixed dialogue tags, thoughts, and action (aka the good version, though I’m biased):

I release Midnight’s harness and stumble toward Qaze, who catches me when I reach out for him. His sandalwood and pine scent wraps around me. My hand grabs the back of his neck and I pull him close, until I feel the shell of his ear against my lips. He sucks in a surprised breath.

“Listen,” I whisper, trying to keep the panic from my voice.

“Kimara, what are you—”

“Don’t talk. Close your eyes. You can’t trust them right now. Focus on the sounds around you. Listen, Qaze.”

He stills, and a few minutes pass of us standing there in our strange embrace. Then his body tenses as he pulls me flush against him.

“Is that what I think it is?” Qaze’s voice is so low that I barely hear it.

“Yes. How did it get in the ward? Can’t you see it?”

His head lifts away from mine, and his neck moves under my fingertips as if he were simply stretching the muscles. Then he lowers it back toward me.

“You need to come with me,” he whispers. “You’re not safe alone out here.”

Qaze pulls back slowly, making sure I keep my balance. Midnight walks over, nails clicking softly against the walkway, and leans against my leg.

We had just said goodbye to each other. Wouldn’t it sound strange if we suddenly change our mind? Does an artificial intelligence even care about the logic of that?

Qaze’s hand finds mine and gives it a gentle tug. “You’re right, I’m not ready for this night to end yet either,” he says, pulling me toward his house.

Oh. My. This is his plan to make it sound like we didn’t notice the warden outside his house? My cheeks flame. No one else is nearby, or I would’ve heard them by now, but I didn’t expect him to insinuate that we would…

Well. I guess the warden probably won’t care what we do inside his home. Some of my embarrassment abates.

Once the door shuts behind me, Qaze releases my hand. “Check the front rooms while I check the rest of the house?”

I make a sound of assent and do a sweep through the rooms I’m most familiar with—the den and dining area. Since he only moved into this house in the past few months, I haven’t explored much of it. Hearing nothing amiss, I lean against the front door to wait. His footsteps cross from one place to the next, becoming quieter as he moves deeper inside. He pauses to listen in each room, several minutes of silence passing between his movements.

Midnight nuzzles my leg, probably wondering why we’ve stayed in place for so long. I absentmindedly scratch her head, then straighten when Qaze’s footsteps tread a path in this direction.

“Nothing in here. Come with me,” he says.

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

Batfam as Bob's Burgers' quotes

Tim (about Damian) : You don't want to mess with my brother. He'll wear down your self-esteem over a period of years.

---

Damian (13 years old) : Speaking of Christmas, here is my annual list of demands.

Bruce : "My own apartment."

Damian : And it can not be a studio. You have exactly 7 shopping days to comply. If it rolls into day 8, there will be tears and violence.

---

Bruce : We'll have to cut down on expenses. What can we live without ?

Damian : Probably Tim and Jason.

Stephanie : That's a good start.

Tim : Huh. Well that makes the things I was gonna cut irrelevant.

---

Bruce : They're not here ! I got Jason's diary, let's see if it says anything. "Dear Diary, tonight we're sneaking into the dangerous taffy factory. Also, if boys had uteruses they'd be called duderuses".

Dick : Ha, "duderuses."

---

Stephanie : I like sandwiches.

Jason : You smell like you do.

Stephanie : You smell interesting too. You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around ?

---

Jason : You know that boat that I've been fixing up?

Tim : You've mentioned it.

Jason : Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.

Stephanie : Kill us?

Jason : No, take you out for a boat ride.

---

Tim : Why'd you head-butt me?!

Jason : I was going to punch you, but I'm holding wine.

---

Dick, at some point : Bruce, Jason, look at yourselves ; you're father and son ! You're supposed to love each other, not kill each other. This isn't the Bible !

---

Bruce : I should write a parenting book. Call it, "Hey You, I Saw That! Put It Back !"

[lunamoonbby]

Hurt to comfort...it's just soap saying that reader can be annoying and a handful cause of her ADHD

Reader is female and a marine biologist

The use of wifey and lovie to refer to reader

This also based of me and my experiences with ADHD

What if simon is married to a reader with ADHD(the inattentive kind) and they also say the most random things too like quotes from movies and TV shows or thing they make up on the spot

So imagine Price, Soap, and Gaz are at Simon's and reader house to hangout and they're all talking about something like the game that's on TV and Simon asked wifey for her opinion and she give him her opinion and before she can finish her thought she's like "what should I make for dinner?" And Simon has to be like "lovie focus to what were you saying" and she's like oh right and finishes her thoughts and when it's all quiet she says, "I like apples and bananas...but I don't actually like bananas, the texture throws me off and smell is too pungent....but I do like banana bread...I should make banana bread...OH I haven't had corn bread in awhile" and price, soap, and gaz are like where she'd get the corn bread from and ghost is like, "I could get the ingredients to make corn bread and banana bread tomorrow" and wifey is like "yes please".

Wifey and ghost start to cuddle and wifey is like "I have to use the bathroom" and he let's go of her and she get distracted and starts doing something else like preparing a turkey and cheese sandwich for her and Simon cause she got hungry and if she's hungry simon is hungry and ghost notices that shes doing something else and he's like "don't you have to use the bathroom" and reader is like "oh yeah that's right" and she goes and soap is like, "I don't know how you do it LT but she would annoy the hell out me to the point I would yell at her" and everyone goes silent ghost is about to rip soap a new one until he sees wifey with tears coming out her eyes and she squeaks out an "oh" and runs up the stairs totally forgetting about the sandwiches and to not annoy anyone else cause she thinks if soap is annoyed at her then that means everyone else is annoyed and it's only a matter of time before ghost yells at her for her adhd tendencies.

She hears ghost yelling at soap saying he knew what he signed up for when he decided to get with his lovie and it's never a dull moment with her ADHD tendencies and it keeps him on his toes and that she can be random at times but he loves his wifey for who she is that she's the sun to his storm, and so he goes up stairs to check on her and he's like "lovie just know I would never yell at you and that I love you and your little ADHD tendencies and you aren't annoying anyone, so come let's go down stairs and say bye to the guys and we can watch a movie."

they go down stairs and before soap could apologize and wifey is like,"that's why you can't keep a girlfriend" gaz, price, and Simon are laughing and soap is like, " yeah I deserve that and I just want to say im sorry and I never should of said those things in the first place" and reader like "apology acknowledged...that doesn't mean I accept, just be nicer to people" and soap is like, "ok I'll be more nicer from now on and not just to you but to other people as well" and the guys leave bidding a fair well.

Simon and reader are cuddled up on the couch watching a shark movie and reader pointing out all the inaccuracies and Simon is having a blast watching his lovie get mad until lovie sees a sandwich in the movie and is like "the two sandwiches I was making!!!!" And Simon is like "don't worry I dealt with that before I checked up on you let me go get them" and he comes back with the 2 and lovie is like "one is for you, cause I figured if I was hungry then your hungry" and eventhough Simon isn't really hungry he still eats the sandwich cause his wifey was thinking about him when she was making her self a sandwich.

[ilovesnat]

i realized that i've been making too many dirty or flirty quotes so i did this one😭😭

Yelena: Why is my sister mad at you?

You: I don't really know, I've been asking her what's wrong.

*You walked to Nat to ask her again*

You: My love, what's wrong? Did the meeting go wrong? Or just a tough day?

Nat: *ignores*

Yelena: Come one, Nat. Look at your poor girlfriend.

You: ...

Nat, sulking: No, you were dreaming about some other girl last night!

You: Love, what do you mean?

Nat: You were whispering a girl named Scarlett in your sleep!

You: Baby, I don't even know who that is. Come here, let me make it up to you, okay?

Nat: Hmp, fine.

*You carried her to the kitchen to make a pb&j sandwich*

Nat: I can walk, you know? And you're my baby, so I should be carrying you.

You: Whatever you say, I love you.

Nat: I love you too, and you promise you only love me, not that girl Scarlett?

You: I promise, only you, Natty.

[lovable-liar]

UNPAID INTERN SCHLATT ASK

Schlatt watching y/n with the kids and just loving how they interact with them. Like Y/n hitting Schlatt over the head for teaching them about Andrew Cuomo and the kids laughing...

...I have baby fever.

...as do I, and it's his fault.

I also went very off task with this, I'm sowwy 🥺

When you got a message from Ludwig asking if you would like to be a contestant on a new game show of his, you were honestly very excited!

You were a huge streamer on the platform, but it wasn't often that you were called upon to compete in real life games!

You were a fan favorite on Name Your Price, for your style and your ability in the game, so after Ludwig pitched Unpaid Intern to you...

You were hooked.

And you were reeled in even further once you found out who you would be competing against!

Daniel Thrasher, a man of many talents and one you found yourself quote tweeting about a lot on your alt to "thank" him for his "service" in "aiding" you to "learn piano"

Lily Pichu, a lovely little lady that (when you ever encountered her) had only ever been the kindest thing to you

Kyedae, a friend of yours that you frequently streamed with and raided!

And jschlatt, infamous, Jonathan Schlatt.

A personal friend of yours!

You and Schlatt first met during the days of the Lunch Club, dark days, sure, but Ted, Charlie, himself, and yourself pulled each other up by the boot straps and created salvation!

Chuckle Sandwich was is that salvation.

And through salvation, you two had formed a strong bond. You created inside jokes for your communities, inside jokes between you and your co-hosts, and inside jokes that only the two of you would ever come to understand.

But, to say you were just friends is an understatement.

To be honest, neither of you really knew what you were.

But you both liked that!

Sure, it became a pain when trying to figure out if you could go out on a date with someone, but it was also nice because technically nothing was happening, you didn't have to hide anything from viewers.

But, Schlatt was always one of the first people you turned to if ever something happened, which, something had happened! You were competing against each other soon! You had to text him-

jslut: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

toots💙: wat

jslut: ur on upi?

toots💙: upi?

jslut: unpaid intern

jslut: luds thing?

toots💙: ah yes upi

jslut: r u?

toots💙: yes...? 👀

jslut: kk

toots💙: ur so dry over text wtf?!!?!

jslut: i love you too, sugar tits 💙

When-

jslut: how long r u gonna be in texas for?

toots💙: couple days prob

toots💙: im trying to find ppl to film/do stuff with bc i dont wanna fly over just to do one thing and then just fly back

toots💙: productive, you get me?

jslut: film with me

jslut: ill find something for us to do

toots💙: alr but ive got a lot of bitches on my roster so be grateful im spending my time on you, slut

jslut: shut the fuck up, you're the slut here

toots💙: that's blatantly (racist/homophobic/sexist/etc.)

jslut: bye

toots💙: bye bye bbg, daddy can't wait to see you again <3

WHEN YOU GOT TO TEXAS (swear to god if you interrupt me again-)

You texted Schlatt a picture of you in the airport, stood in front of a promotional poster that had the american flag on it, saluting.

You shoved your phone back into your pocket in search of some good fucking food, but you couldn't quite focus on reading the menu while your ass cheek vibrated with fifteen (you counted each vibration) messages.

jslut: first of all, ur supposed to put ur hand on your heart, not fucking salute

jslut: second of all, what airport r u at?

jslut: i'll come get u

jslut: don't order an uber, they're shitty

jslut: i'll be ur uber

jslut: ill bring u a red fucking carpet

jslut: toots

jslut: toots

jslut: babycakes

jslut: did u order an uber?

jslut: did u get kidnapped? wtf

jslut: answer me toots

jslut: send me ur location

jslut: as soon as i see u im downloading a fucking tracker onto ur phone

toots💙: can you stop vibrating my ass for two seconds? im getting food

jslut: vibrating ur ass?

jslut: i wish

toots💙: food acquired, im at dfw

jslut: kk omw

toots💙: where should i meet u?

toots💙: r u kidding me?

toots💙: fuck u

You hunkered down in the food court to wait of the arrival of your beloved uber driver while you ate and played on your phone

You were expecting him to text you back any minute now since he never left his messages unanswered for too long (that's not entirely true, he never leaves *your* messages unanswered, ever, but he'd never tell you that, ever.)

But as 1:00pm became 1:26pm, you began to feel a little anxious

How long have you been sat here for?

Does that man want to sit here?

Should you move?

Are people staring?

Okay- just, stay seated, he'll be here soon.

Where are your headphones?

Where are your bags?!

Oh- okay, it's right there... where you left it.

And your headphones are around your neck.

Do you have your wallet?

Yeah, it's in one of your bags.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR BAGS-

"Heeey, toots! 'S good to see you again." A deep, familiar voice calls out, he has your bags too!

"I got you a baggy of fruit from seven eleven!"

"Aww, you shouldn't have!" He twirls his hair around his finger.

"Gotta feed my baby girl right."

"Alright, you're done." Schlatt announces, before bending down to grab a handful of the meat just above your knees before throwing you over his shoulder and tucking your bags under his other arm.

"Jonathan! You put me down right now!"

"No."

"People are staring!" You whisper shout.

"You called me 'baby girl' 'n the first five finger-fuckin' seconds of our first face to face conversation in three months instead of kissin' me, 'm not puttin' you down."

The walk back to his car consisted of kicking your legs, lots of people staring, a surprising amount of awing, Schlatt having to readjust your clothes every two to three seconds just so you'd keep a semblance of your dignity, and a security guard even opened the door for him!

I mean- this man could have legitimately been kidnapping you, and nobody even *attempted* to help you!

But, then again, you weren't really putting up *much* of a fight.

Once you reached his car, he opened the trunk and shoved your bags in before sauntering round to the passenger's side.

After he so chivalrously opened the door for you, he plopped you down into the seat from your perch on his shoulder, making sure to hold your head so you wouldn't bang it before he placed one hand on the dash and the other on the head rest.

He leaned you back slowly, playfully, before finally accepting his kiss from you.

It was nice.

It re-awoke the butterflies in your tummy that seemingly crisped up and died whenever he wasn't around.

After the extraordinarily drawn out kiss, you embarked on the scenic drive to Schlatt's house, where you found yourself having the first 'argument' with him in the months you hadn't seen each other.

"Where're you stayin'?"

"I booked a hotel-"

"Bull-fucking-shit I'm lettin' you stay at a fuckin' hotel, hotels are good for nothin'. You sleep in my room."

"But I paid money for that hotel room?"

"Ok? I'll pay you back."

"What?"

"Anythin' in these bags ya don't want me findin'?

"Wha-"

"I'm unpackin' for you, sweetheart."

"No, wha-"

"Ya jet lagged, go sit on the couch, watch somethin', I don' care."

Schlatt then proceeded to haul your bags upstairs and into his room, where, promptly, he shouted for you.

"Toots, I thought you said there was nuthin' in here! I've seen one of these before! 'S a.. fuckin' 'rose' vibe, or some shit?!"

"Don't touch that!"

"Whaaat?! Like I haven't seen your toys before! Like I haven't *been* your toy before."

"Schlatt!"

He also found your outfit for Ludwig's video.

"Heeey! This is cute! Gonna look like a little 50s detective more than an intern, but shit, are you gonna look adorable. 'S this your perfume? Shit, that smells good..."

He absolutely douses his own clothes in it

ONTO THE MAIN EVENT! (If anyone's still reading, anyway.)

You and Schlatt arrived together at 9:44 (which ended up giving you 2 points, whereas it landed Schlatt with 1)

After being presented with your first task, keeping a trio of toddlers entertained for fifteen minutes straight, you went straight into action.

You managed to find play dough, bubble wrap, a box of legos, some cardboard boxes, and some coloring materials!

You were the first of the bunch to entertain the kids.

"Helloooo everybody! Who do we have here?"

"Elijah!" "Rooney!" "Caleb!"

"Hey guys! I'm Y/N. Can you spell that? Let's see your handwriting, huh? On the board, can you guys write your names and then my name?"

Overall, you have an absolute blast with these guys.

First, they wanted to pop as many bubbles on the bubble wrap as they could while your phone counted down a ten second timer.

You laid out a sheet of the wrap before you all stood on your own section of it and danced, bounced, and rolled on it until the alarm sounded.

Then, the kids wanted to decorate their own boxes as cars that you pushed them around in!

A chorus of giggles and squeals could be heard emanating from the conference room from all the way across the building, even your own chuckles!

After that, Rooney, Elijah and you sculpted with the play dough while Caleb built with the lego.

Rooney made a dinosaur and Elijah made a lion, but you all gave extra props to Caleb who built all of you!

You were a little disappointed when the fifteen minutes were up, you gave each kid a high five and a ruffle of their hair before you stepped out of the conference room and closed the door (but the interaction truly ended after you pulled a face at them through the window.)

(That face definitely ended up as Schlatt's home screen.)

Next up, you were burdened with having to ensure that your backward speech is coherent and understandable!

Your key phrase was "Can I hold it while you pee?"

Surprisingly, VERY HARD!!!

You managed to get 'hold it' and 'pee'

But the rest of it?

Nada.

"Do people actually wanna hold guys'... you know... when they- pee..?" Daniel asked.

"Well- surprisingly, yes!" Ludwig, oh so helpfully, replied.

You immediately turned to Schlatt

"No, you cannot hold my dick while I piss."

Everyone erupted into laughter.

At this point, you were tied with Daniel in first!

For the map task, you were paired with Schlatt.

You two made a fucking powerhouse of a duo.

With his drawing skills and your knowledge that there was a map on the wall right to the left of you? You were UNSTOPPABLE.

And, with the last and final task, you immediately had to opt out.

The simultaneous, wet chewing sounds of EVERYONE in the room?

FUCK NO

You were not gonna be in that room for another *second*

But you didn't have to be!

You had already surpassed everyone else with flying colors.

Lud even gave you extra points for opting out because he needs a 'well-behaved employee who won't blow bubbles and stick gum to the underside of the desks.'

Schlatt did offer you some of his gum though, and when you stuck your hand out for, i don't know, a pristine, unchewed piece still wrapped in it's packaging, you got the complete opposite!

Just a glob of fluorescent pink, wet and chewed gum in the pit of your hand.

But, that's also how you found yourself here, in Schlatt's car after a long day, waiting in a drive thru.

"Today was great! You were real great with those kids, toots."

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah!"

"I kept the lego figure Caleb made of me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"I wanna fuck a kid into you."

"Schlatt!"

[awakentrashpanda]

Smiling Critters incorrect quotes

Dogday: What is the code etomologists use for "I stepped on it, I'm so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small?"

Bubba Bubbaphant: "Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions."

Catnap: "Impromptu dissection" is an alarming phrase in any context and I thank you for it.

KickinChickin: What’s biologist for "the little f⭐️cker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex?"

Bubba Bubbaphant: "The specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses."

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hoppy Hopscotch: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river. 
KickinChickin: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Hoppy Hopscotch: Nothing in life is free. 
Bobby Bearhug: Love is free. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: Knowledge is free. 
Craftycorn: Friendship is free. 
Dogday: Self-respect is free. 
KickinChickin: Everything's free if you don't pay for it. 
The Squad: ... 
PickyPiggy: Kickin, that's illegal- 
Hoppy Hopscotch: No, let him finish!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bubba Bubbaphant: Are you tall enough to play basketball though? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Are you calling me short? 
Bubba Bubbaphant: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

KickinChickin: You have Crayons? 
Craftycorn: Yes, I have— 
KickinChickin: You're— how old are you? 
Craftycorn (in tears): YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

PickyPiggy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? 
Catnap: I accidentally fell down. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: CATNAP PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent! 
Dogday: Catnap bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money. 
KickinChickin: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Dogday.

💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡

Dogday: I love you. 
Catnap: How many people have you said that to? 
Dogday: Everyone. 
Catnap: What? 
Dogday: I told everyone that I love you.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

Craftycorn: Why does Picky always do the laundry so loudly? 
Bobby Bearhug: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house. 
PickyPiggy, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎

PickyPiggy: So Hunny-bunny, how did your first time cooking dinner go? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Pretty good if I do say so myself. 
PickyPiggy: Oo! Okay, what are we having? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. 
PickyPiggy: A whole potato? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! 
PickyPiggy: These just look like big slabs of black. 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Because that's what they are! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for desert, we have chocolate. 
PickyPiggy: These are just chocolate chips? 
Hoppy Hopscotch: They sure are! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for drinks, we have toast! 
Hoppy Hopscotch: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻

KickinChickin: I have a plan.

PickyPiggy: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.

KickinChickin: …

PickyPiggy: …

KickinChickin: I no longer have a plan.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

PickyPiggy: why can’t any of y’all ever come up with a plan that doesn’t involve breaking the law?

Bubba Bubbaphant (awkwardly looking over at KickinChickin and Hoppy Hopscotch): Picky…You do realize that three of us have been to prison before, right?

🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤

KickinChickin: Have I ever told you that I love you like the mom I never had? 
PickyPiggy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! 
KickinChickin: Mean.

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

Hoppy Hopscotch: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. 
PickyPiggy: 
Hoppy Hopscotch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? 
PickyPiggy: Hmf! 'Sorry' ain’t never gonna bring back my f🍎cking M&Ms.

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

Bubba Bubbaphant: What do we think of Dogday? 
*pause* 
Hoppy Hopscotch: *shrugs* Nice pal. 
Bobby Bearhug: I think he’s gay.

🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘

KickinChickin: That was so hot, Bubba. 
Bubba Bubbaphant: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. 
KickinChickin: I'm so in love with you.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

KickinChickin: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... 
Catnap: Only as their rodeo clown.

🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷

[laurey257]

Good Omens fanfic recs that ease the pain. (All complete, canon-compliant)

I am an avid reader and I’ve been combing the floods of new (awesome) things hitting Archive and similar to find what best eases the pain of That Episode. Here’s the best canon-compliant and complete ones that give some soothing to the angst of our angel and demon parting:

**This was a hard decision but I am excluding works in progress since they need time to mature—all these are complete /compliant and can be invested in without fear.**

Jesus, Etc.

This one had me howling.  Crowley runs into a frantic Aziraphale with Jesus at a Barbenheimer premiere who he is frantically keeping busy to prevent the Second Coming.  A battle of the wills with pop songs in the Bentley, Taylor Swift, Kenergy, sushi, a nativity play and a magic show are the least of the insanity that comes next.  (Kudos for the awesome cameo from Mrs. Sandwich.)

To the Universe

This one is a 22-chapter, complete, canon-compliant season 3 full arc that can take the edge off for everyone who is internally screaming that we have years to wait to see all this resolve.  Really can’t say enough about this one.  It tied up every loose end.  Certain parts reminded me of Pratchett and the ending had me on the edge of my chair and cheering out loud.  (bonus extra in a hilarious treatment of Jesus in Tadfield that has him turning himself into a teen named Dave.) This could have been season 3 in another timeline.

Separate Ways

A sweet, short little one where Aziraphale has Muriel checking up on a devastated Crowley from the bookshop, and they finally at least talk.  No resolution, but it felt so nice to read. 

The Second Coming

One-shot (but around 7000 words in chapter format) that is canon-compliant.  Aziraphale “awakens” in the elevator (think ox ribs but sexually) and yeets himself back to earth to roger Crowley six ways from Sunday.  Smutty, so don’t read this one aloud to your parents.  (naked apology dance reference in here made my eyes fall out.)

Heaven is not fit to house a love

A sweet little one with a *small* deviation from canon (that seemed ok because they have a good point.) Crowley had never told Aziraphale about the way the angels managed his trial OR about what he saw in the Heavenly files with Muriel.  He jams his way into the elevator (telling the Metatron to get the next one) and tells him.

Not for all my Little Words

An adorable one where Aziraphale, realizing he screwed up, chases Crowley through loudspeakers and other people’s phones through Europe using famous love quotes until he gets his attention (and some forgiveness.)

Everywhere

Oh so lovely! A longer one-shot where Azi realizes that management is not what he cracked it up to be (they tell him nothing.) So he saves Crowley instead from a Heavenly asassination attempt. (Maggie, nina and anathema help!)

A Proper Apology

One where the Angel simply calls over and over until they really talk.  (Or imagine the idiots simply just used the phone.)

Cause you like me too much and I like you

A sweet little one where Aziraphale quietly resigns, has a chat with Gabriel and Beez in the bookshop, and does the apology dance.

A sweet little daydream Azi has in the elevator about apologizing to Crowley in the Ressurectionist pub  before waking up and realizing oh crap he is still in Heaven.

Did I miss any other good ones?  Tell me?

[writerjuliannaf]

Wolverine Headcanons

after a VERY long hiatus from Tumblr… I’m happy to say that I’m officially back!!

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨ ⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙ ୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Has a chunky pet squirrel named Bruce

He likes to eat Logan’s sandwiches, runs around the mansion and knows to stay indoors, and he has a black cowl/stripe shape on his face —which instantly reminded Logan of Batman, sparking his pet’s name

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Frequently visits a local diner and orders the same thing every time: waffles drenched in maple syrup, with a large plate of bacon on the side

The waitress who always serves him is a sweet, older, southern lady —either named Althea or Ida— and she knows his order by heart, often calling him “sugar” or “baby” in her thick accent

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Is secretly VERY clingy when he gets attached and loves to cuddle

When I tell you this man loves physical touch of any kind (I’m talking in a non-spicy way) HE REALLY loves it… cuddling, spooning, holding hands, having you sit in his lap while you both eat… it’s non stop with Logan (but I’m not complaining, lol)

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ He also loves when his hair and beard are softly scratched

Logan may seem like a no-nonsense baddie… but at the end of the day, he is a huge softie, loving his hair, beard, and back scratched. Who doesn’t? But Logan… he craves it

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Loves texting his girl, and often sends her too many gifs and emojis

I think when Logan finds the girl of his dreams (NOT JEAN) he surprises everyone at the mansion when they see him texting and smirking at his phone. Gifs, emojis, encouraging quotes from Pinterest, you name it… and he’ll send it to her. Because it not only makes her smile… but man, it makes him smile too

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Collects either shot glasses or pins every time he travels, especially when he’s on missions

I like to think this started when Logan officially moved into the X-Mansion, sooooo many years ago. He finally had a place to stay and somewhere to store his new belongings that he’d eventually buy/collect. And at first, he probably saw a pin/shot glass with a funny quote on it and decided to swipe it. But then, on each mission, it just became a habit

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Enjoys the musical 7 Brides for 7 Brothers because it’s very nostalgic for Logan and reminds him of the traditional lifestyle in the 1800’s

So this is not really that surprising, since he was born in the 1800’s (In 1832, right?) and I believe the movie was just randomly playing on the tv one day, and he instantly fell in love. It warmed something inside him to see, once again, how his life in the frontiere looked —since he probably lived in a Canadian small town that resembled the town in the movie

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Loves when you wear his shirts

Wanna make Logan extremely happy? Wear something of his. His shirts, sweat pants, jackets. And OMG… his cowboy hats!! This man is FERAL and he just LOVES when his scent mixes with yours. You could even wear his SOCKS, and I can bet you, you’ll immediately see hearts in his eyes

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ REALLY loves when you read to him, especially before bed

Okay… this gives beauty and the beast vibes. And I’m telling you, every time I see that movie (one of my favorite Disney movies, btw) I just imagine Logan just adoringly gazing at you like the Beast looked at Belle as she read. And Logan WILL beg you to read to him (in a casual way though, cause he still has that gruff reputation to maintain) more so before bed. Maybe his mom, or even Victor, read to him when he was sick? Who knows… but just know, it soothes him

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡ Most definitely hums and sings in the shower

He has a great singing voice, but no one knows that except you. And when you’re chilling in his room while he showers, just be prepared for him to belt out some 80’s rock songs or even some old country tunes. He also likes a lot of songs from the 50’s too, which would definitely give him that bad boy, biker/greaser vibe

⋆˙⟡ Comment, like, reblog & follow for more ⟡⋆˙

Thank you for reading!! And if you have any requests, lemme know ♡

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨ ⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙ ୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

[homicidal-slvt]

COD Incorrect Quotes

-

Soap: Can I have two straws for this milkshake?

Y/N: Aw it's so sweet of you to share-

Soap: With two straws I can drink it in half the time!

-

Y/N: I'd kill for you.

Gaz: You'd also kill someone if they stole your sandwich.

Y/N: I'd die for you.

Gaz: You nearly get yourself killed all the time.

Y/N: ..... I'd... I would give up a life long grudge for you.

Gaz, gasping: Oh my god you do love me.

-

Ghost: Hello-

Y/N: I would commit atrocious crimes for you.

-

Alejandro: The worst she can do is say no.

Rodolfo: Ok... Hey Valeria would you like to-

Valeria: I would rather get shot by Graves.

Rodolfo: .....

Alejandro: .... Ok I was wrong. My bad.

-

König: Do you like me?

Medic|Y/N: Yes. Of course I do.

König: Really???

Medic|Y/N: ...Sweetheart we've been together for five years.

-

Y/N: Would you miss me if I was gone?

Laswell: You are literally the most infuriating person I know.

Y/N: So... That's a no?

Laswell: Are you crazy? I wouldn't know what to do without you around.

-

*Medic|Y/N is taking care of a stubborn injured Captain Price*

Medic|Y/N: I swear to God if you don't stay in this bed and rest I WILL tie you down.

Price: I have work that needs to be gotten done you muppet!

Medic|Y/N: .... Alright you leave me no choice. I am gonna bring out the bad puns and dad jokes-

Price: alright alright I'll rest just- I deal with that shit enough with, Simon.

-

[cryptomiracle]

more creepypasta headcanons

(+ marble hornets)

WARNINGS:

Ooc? Idk

I started this at 2 am and you can tell

Cursing

I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird

Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.

This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.

You could even say they're a bit... silly.

You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)

◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎

Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.

◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎

Jeff:

he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.

He has an "emo accent"

He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.

He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow

He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.

His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.

He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.

He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.

BEN:

He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku

He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait

Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die

Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"

He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.

He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins

He once doxxed someone for dissing miku

slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch

once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game

Toby:

He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them

Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.

His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff

Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer

He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc

more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )

When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender

He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.

Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.

Hoodie:

He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.

He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway

He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then

He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end

He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him

He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.

Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.

he sends streaks.

Masky:

He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more

Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.

He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years

If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.

he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.

he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.

Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.

he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.

he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.

he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.

he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.

he doesn't even have YouTube installed.

◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎◎

I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M

[togrowoldinv]

Songbird

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

When you get home from work, Nat is cooking dinner. She takes all of your stress away so easily

Note: Soft soft Nat. Enjoy this one!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

You turn the key in the door and walk inside your home. Your day weighs heavy on you, but you already feel lighter at the sound of your wife cooking in the kitchen.

After dropping your bag on the couch, you walk to the threshold of the kitchen. It’s such a sight to see.

Natasha Romanoff is in her pajamas cooking a grilled cheese and singing to soft music. You can’t help but grin at her.

She turns around and holds the spatula up to her mouth like a microphone to sing along.

“I love you, I love you, I love you like never before,” she sings with a perfect pitch. Of course, she can do anything. Even sing.

“You’re so cute,” you tell her.

Natasha grins like a little kid and turns back to flip the sandwiches. You walk to her and hug her from behind.

“It’s nothing gourmet but I know your day was long,” Natasha says.

“It’s perfect, baby,” you reply.

She finishes cooking while in your arms before she plates the sandwiches. Natasha turns around in your arms.

“I missed you today,” Nat admits. Her cheeks still blush after all this time at being so close to you.

“I missed you so much,” you say. You hug her fully and bury your face in her neck.

Natasha holds you tight and sways you to the music. She softly hums and places soft kisses to your temple and head.

“Are you okay?” Nat asks softly.

“Mhm, I am now. When I’m with you, I know I’m alright.”

“It’s cheesy to quote the song,” Natasha teases you. She chuckles at her own words. “But I feel the same about you, detka.”

She continues to hold you until you feel ready to leave the safest place in the world.

“Can we snuggle after dinner?” You ask her.

“We can definitely snuggle,” Natasha agrees.

You eat dinner together before retiring to the couch to watch tv and snuggle. You spend the evening enjoying her presence and loving Natasha like you’ve never loved before.

With her, everything is right.

[see-arcane]

Lucy and Jonathan

“We met some time ago a man that would just do for you, if you were not already engaged to Jonathan.”

I’ll admit, while it probably wasn’t anything more than an airy throw-in without any real barbs behind it, the inflection on Lucy’s comment followed by the idle advertisement of upcoming character, Dr. John ‘Jack’ Seward, as a higher-up-the-ladder ‘what-if’ prospect, still kind of stung to hear. I know it’ll get sanded back in later chapters because—minor spoilers—context clues will show that Mina, Lucy, and Jonathan have known/been friendly with each other since they were kids, and comments from future letters will show a more mutual regard. So it makes me wonder what the reason for the implied derision was.*

*(Beyond her possibly trying to push Jack in a way that says ‘Nope, No, I Choose Not to See the Crush, No Thank You, Hot Potato.’)

My guess? It’s a bit.

Specifically, a holdover from hers, Mina’s, and Jonathan’s earlier days when all of them had grown into adolescence, social mores started getting hammered in in earnest, and Mina and Jonathan were just starting on their official courtship.

Suddenly, they’re no longer a trio of kids enjoying each other’s company. Now it’s two young ladies—one rich, one poor—and a charming young man—also from a lower class. Considering the period, it would be only too easy for whispers to start flying behind fans and cigars that the young Mr. Harker might consider leveling up his prospects, or that the lovely Miss Westenra, a veritable Victorian Helen of Troy, might idly snatch her low-born friend’s man out from under her nose on a whim. And aren’t they such a pretty picture? Quoting their Shakespeare at each other, so intriguingly close compared to most men and their ladies’ friends…unless there are certain extra friendly circumstances involved, ha ha.

A ribald comment too many from coworkers at Hawkins’ firm and a backhanded compliment or three at the latest spring ball probably shocked Jonathan and Lucy respectively into action. Bonus points if one of the inciting remarks came from some tittering debutante, “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. You two are so alike! Such sweet bonny things, parroting the Bard at each other, prattling merrily about the latest little outing without stopping for breath. Really, Lucy, he would just do for you.”**

**(Some have wondered if Lucy was nudging Jack toward Mina due to certain similar traits they shared. Some morose aspects, intensely focused, interests in modern technology. You’ll see when you meet him. Either way, it’s another parallel to ponder here.)

Cue Mina having to endure her loved ones defending her honor from being dubbed a victim of romantic betrayal in the most vaudeville manner possible. Though she should expect no less from Theatre Nerds 1 and 2.

When they go out, Mina is permanently sandwiched between them as if they’re ducking behind a red-faced shield. Lucy brandishes a parasol to ensure they’re at least the shaft’s length apart; sometimes she’ll even open it to make sure they’re not swayed by looking upon each other, may Heaven forbid such scandalous temptation! Jonathan sits on the bench with them with his hat pulled down over his eyes for safety’s sake. At least a quarter of an hour at the start of each outing is dedicated to a back-and-forth of:

Lucy, nose up so high she’s looking more at the ceiling than him: Mr. Harker.

Jonathan, checking his pocket watch to see how long he must endure this most arduous company: Miss Westenra.

Mina, head in her hands: It’s been months.

Lucy, scoffing: Months of torment in his presence.

Jonathan, scoffing harder: Agony in hers.

Lucy, on a fainting couch: However can you stand him, Mina?

Mina, about to pull her hair out of its pins: You helped him pick out the ring, Lucy.

Jonathan, picture of woe: Tormentedly, of course.

Lucy, nodding: Agonizingly.

In short, Jonathan 🤝 Lucy:

[justsomegdude]

Prisoner!Negan x Gn!Reader

Prompt: “This can’t get any worse, can it?” // “Sure it can, just give me a minute.”

A/N: I am IN LOVE with prisoner Negan, I try to keep my best to keep gender out of my posts, in case there is males(like myself), or another gender identity wanting to read. Maybe when i get used to writing i’ll make actual one shots (maybe multi chapters) but until then i’m sticking to prompt quotes. Enjoy, send feedback, and ideas you might want me to write!

(stay tuned for the next few days because i may or may be trying to write a one shot!)

You were the one responsible for checking in, and giving food, to Negan. You got it by being one of the calmest in stressful situations. Ever since you’ve known Negan, he’s always been a thorn on a rose stem. Annoying you any chance he can get. Although never knowing exactly why he loves doing it so much.

“Hey Negan, Got your food.” You say as you enter the room where his cell was. Bringing the food you always served, a sandwich. Although he never seems pleased with what food you give him.

“What’s in the menu today?” He didn’t look towards you, just laying in his cot with his stare at the ceiling. Sometime you feel like you should pity this man, but then you remember what he’s done and that thought quickly went away.

“Like usual, a sandwich.” You spoke, holding out the sandwich, but it seems he has no interest in taking it. It upset you when he got like this, like he was trying to starve himself to death. Rick gave you this position to make sure he stays alive, but if he doesn’t eat you failed Rick.

“One of the kids here would love that more than I would, sweetheart.” His grin back, as he sat up on his cot. Still, he isn’t fully getting up to take it. You can’t force him to eat it, but you have to try.

“Negan, just take the sandwich.” You glare at him, hoping your, now, position of power over him will make him listen. Still no sign he’s getting up.

“This can’t get any worse, can it?” He sighed, his gaze went from you to the floor. Again you wanted to pity him, but you just can’t.

“Sure it can, just give me a minute.” The corners of your mouth tugging into a smirk, as you grab your pocket knife. No, you weren’t actually going to do anything, but maybe it will give him a reason to eat.

“God, Darlin’.. Don’t be such a turn on.” It almost sounded like he groaned out the pet name. He finally stood up with that atrocious remark. Smirking the entire way when he grabbed the sandwich from you and returned back to his cot. “Might make me want to live.”

Your eyes closed partly, squinting at him. “You think you’d want to live.. because ‘i’m a turn on’?” You let out a short huff and put your pocket knife away. “You know how stupid that sounds?”

His eyes glanced back up to you, speaking in between slow bites of his food. “Not as stupid as my thoughts, Darlin’. Especially when you’re in them.” He bit his lip, looking you up and down. You almost felt exposed, even when you didn’t specifically do anything.

“Negan, watch your mouth.” You spoke with clear irritation, you almost have a feeling of endearment, if it weren’t for who you were talking to. “and your eyes.”

He let out a chuckle, leaning back in his cot. “My eyes wonder. What can I say, they’re attracted by beauty.” He either found you attractive, and was attempting at flirting, or he was just trying to annoy you.

“I wish I wasn’t messing around when I pulled my knife out.” Your hand found their way to your pockets.

[pikatrainer99]

Okay, so I see tons of people talking about Kieran being autistic...which I 100% agree with, but...

...Can we talk about Crispin for a minute...?

This kid also has a lot of traits that make me headcanon him as autistic. First, he has a CLEAR special interest in cooking, particularly spicy stuff (hyposensitvity to spice maybe...? He doesn't seem to be affected much by it at least, even when you make the sandwich that he calls "just pain" he seems much less affected than anyone I know would be anyway). He carries his frying pan EVERYWHERE, which is definitely not a "normal" thing to do (comfort item maybe...?). He uses his frying pan to hide his face at times, and he also likes to move it around like he's cooking something...even though he's not cooking anything at the moment, as well as hold it as tight as he can and shake it in front of him (stims maybe...? And yes, those CAN be stims even though it's not something that you'd typically see as a stim because the repetitive motion for the former can feel good to do and the tight grip of the latter can also feel good...I do the same thing with my hands and I have many stim toys that I put all the pressure I can into and it's a great release of tension...and he does the former when he's excited and the latter when he's upset). He's also hyper-expressive, which is something that autistic people can be. We're not all deadpan, all the time, we can have exaggerated and over the top reactions to things. Before you battle him he also straight up admits that he doesn't get what's going on with the club and wishes everyone would just be direct and say/do what they mean/want. His quote is literally "Gaaah! Everything's getting so complicated! If you wanna say something, just say it! If you wanna do something, just do it!" And then after you beat him he says he loves battles and cooking because they're both so easy to understand, implying that people aren't easy for him to understand. And then after you beat Kieran he says, "Way to go - both of you! That was awesome!" not understanding the severity of the situation and not understanding that Kieran is having a mental breakdown over his loss. Lacey even says, "Oh, honestly, Crispin! Read the room, would you?" and Crispin just looks at her, confused. So he definitely has social difficulties and his people skills aren't the greatest. He is probably the most innocent out of the BB League group too, he just likes to do what he loves and it stresses him out when everything goes downhill with the club BECAUSE he doesn't understand why and just wants it to go back to how things were before all of this. So yeah, while I agree 100% with the headcanon of Kieran being autistic, I think there's also a case to be made for Crispin as well, especially with those social difficulties and wishing people would just be direct.

[nxrdamp]

I’m having a huge Arven moment so I decided to ask for something cute and a little funny ☺️

Maybe Arven’s mabosstiff dislikes the reader’s dachsbun for awhile, until they just turn into inseparable best friends 😭 I love dogs and these two canine dog Pokémon stole my heart!!

Masterlist

Arven x Gn! Reader - Puppy Love

A warm sunny day in Paldea, something that was no rare occurrence. Nevertheless still enjoyed. Especially enjoyed by one little Dachsbun. (Y/n)’s Dachsbun was currently frolicking in the fields surrounding their picnic, playing with the (orange/purple) ball.

“Wow little buddy” Arven said while finely chopping basil for the sandwich,”Your Dachsbun there sure loves the outdoors. Cant say the same for ol’ Mabosstiff here.”

Mabosstiff, who was currently curled up underneath the fold out table, ruffed in annoyance.

“Awww” (Y/n) said, crouching to be eye to eye with Mabosstiff,”You don’t like the sun, do ya bud?”

He shook his head in response, but only to be interrupted by the other dog-like pokémon running over towards the table to eat the scraps of ham that fell from the sandwich, much to Arven’s complaints.

Mabosstiff growled defensively, making poor Dachsbun quiver and run behind (Y/n)‘s legs.

“Yeah don’t eat that- Hey, Mabosstiff” Arven said, placing his hands on his hips in a very motherly fashion,”Don’t be rude to their pokémon!…well maybe except (Koraidon/Miraidon)”

“Hey!” (Y/n) protested,”(Koraidon/Miraidon) is important too!”

Arven only looked over to them and gave them a “really?” look as the legendary was currently trying to steal Dachsbun’s sandwich.

(Y/n) only sighed, walking over to Dachsbun’s abandoned sandwich, and grabbing it to give it to the scared pokémon.

“Now Dachsbun, eat this and leave poor Mabosstiff alone. He doesn’t wanna play right now.”

The puppy pokémon looked up, her sad puppy dog eyes threatening to spill tears, and slowly took the sandwich and trotted away to a secluded place by the rocks.

Arven sadly sighed, seeing the pitiful sight before him,”Maybe I can do some convincing to Mabosstiff, to, ya know, be friends with Dachsbun. Poor girl is eating all alone.”

“Yeah.” (Y/n) replied, crossing their arms over their chest,”So much for a picnic. It seems to be more of a drama fest than anything.”

“I agree” Arven said,”This definitely is no where near the Lady and the Tramp. No spaghetti scene for these two, it appears.”

(Y/n) snorted in response, causing Arven’s heart to swell. No one laughs at his corny jokes, especially that not quote “bothersome student council girl”.

“It seems like we’re gonna have to be together a lot more to make them be friends. It’s a win-win” (Y/n) said, causing Arven to blush and hide his face in his hair.

“U-Um okay. Cool. Cool. I’ll uhh I’ll see you tomorrow! Make sure to bring Dachsbun and NOT (Koraidon/Miraidon).

(Y/n) kept the promise they’d heard, and brought Dachsbun and (Koraidon/Miraidon).

———

Over the span of the next week, every day they tried to get Mabosstiff and Dachsbun closer together.

And every day they failed.

“Damn it.” Arven said, looking at Mabosstiff who was currently kicking Dachsbun off of (Y/n)’s couch,”Why don’t they get along?”

“Maybe they just don’t share experiences with each other” (Y/n) suggested,”Like we battled through hell at Area Zero, and they kinda didn’t together. That’s probably why we’re so close and they’re not.”

“Not close enough…” Arven muttered under his breath, low enough where (Y/n) couldn’t hear

“Maybe we should go on a trip!!” (Y/n) said,”Why not to Kalos? It’s right on the edge of Paldea!”

“Hmmm. Thats a good idea, actually, thanks little buddy!” Arven said, attempting to give a “friendly” shoulder pat.

“Why do you call me little buddy? I feel like we’re more than ‘buddies’.”

Arven coughed, trying to fight a loosing battle against the blush creeping onto his face,”W-What?!?”

“Yeah! We’re the best buddies ever! Best friends!” (Y/n) said, giving Arven a hug.

‘I don’t even care I was just friend-zoned, I love this’ He thought to himself

“All right then, (Y/n), let’s-“

“(Y/n)?” They asked,”Just plain old (Y/n)? Do I mean that little to you?”

“N-NO!” Arven said, grabbing their shoulders and looking down to meet their sad eyes,”YOU’RE AMAZING! YOU’RE MY BEST BUD EVER AND I WISH YOU WERE MORE- I MEAN I APPRECIATE YOU BEING THERE FOR ME….haha….ha…..man I screwed up didn’t I?”

(Y/n) looked into his saddened blue eyes, tears threatening to spill,”No! You didn’t Arven, I-“

“You don’t have to say it! I know you hate me now!” Arven said, storming off.

“-feel the same way….” They finished before being blasted by a rush of air across their legs.

Dachsbun ran after Arven, seeking to comfort the crying boy on the doorstep of (Y/n)’s residence.

Mabosstiff perked up, seeing how the normally hyper pokémon was slowly and gently crawling into the lap of Mabosstiff’s trainer, giving him doggy kisses.

Arven starting to laugh through the sniffles of his crying, giving Dachsbun a good belly rub as she flopped down dramatically in his lap.

Mabosstiff then got off of the couch, and went over to (Y/n), who was letting the tears fall on their own face now.

“Hey Mabosstiff…you okay?” They asked, rubbing his head.

He barked in response, nudging their legs in the direction of his trainer.

“You think he’d listen?”

“Woof!”

“I take your word for it.”

They patted Mabosstiff on the head one last time before stepping out of the threshold of their home, and sitting beside the boy who was wiping his tears.

“You never let me finish, Arven, I like you back. Have since you told me about Mabosstiff and the Herba Mystica. I really have feelings for you. I’m not ‘just saying that’, I mean it Arven.”

“Ohhhh (Y/n)” He said, bawling his eyes out,”You mean so much to me! I love to hear you say that! Please, hold onto me and never let go”

“Trust me” (Y/n) said, looking into his glassy blue eyes,”I won’t. They apparently won’t either”

Both of their eyes adverted to Mabosstiff and Dachsbun, who were cuddled up beside each other watching the scene between their trainers unfold.

“THEY LIKE EACH OTHER!!” Arven said, crying even more out of joy,”THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!”

(Y/n) laid their head on his chest,”Yeah they are, but we sure aren’t, at least not anymore.”

“What…? I thought you said-“

(Y/n) looked up into Arven’s eyes,”Yeah, we’re more than friends”

Arven, who is now blushing instead of crying, turns his face to hide it in his hair,”Okay. Cool. Cooool. That’s cool.”

“You can be happy Arven, no need to cover it up with your ‘cool guy persona’”

Arven just laughed, resting his chin atop of (Y/n)‘a head,”You’re crazy little buddy”

“Yeah so are you Arvy”

“I like that” He replied,”My (Mom/Dad) never gave me a nickname, so I’m glad it was you”

“It’s my pleasure Arvy”

The two of them sat on (Y/n)‘a doorstep, watching the sun set as the two dogs who once hated each other, played with Dachbun’s toys together.

——

Word Count: 1177

[lazycats-stuff]

Bruce Wayne x male!reader

Another teacher oneshot! I want to write more, maybe about how the press found out.

Summary: Bruce and (Y/N) are together for a year now, without the press finding out. But one day that changes and press get the wind of it.

Warnings: Press being invasive, people saying that (Y/N) is cute, Bruce being protective.

(Y/N) smiled as he sat at the back of the manor, the side where there was just a clearing. watching boys running around, playing football. (Y/N) was wrapped in a blanket, due to the wind that was blowing, with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. He wasn't a person to play sports, but he was more than happy to cheer them on.

He took a sip of his warm drink and looked at Alfred who sat down next to him.

" Do you need another blanket master (Y/N)? "

" No, Alfred thank you. And please just call me (Y/N), the title of a master makes me feel rich. "

Alfred simply nodded, but (Y/N) knew that Alfred would refer to him with the 'master' title. He shook his head in amusement and went back to look at his boyfriend. Bruce was wearing a grey shirt, that clung to him because of the sweat, but what made his mouth water were Bruce's muscles. Sure, it seems superficial, but he loved them. He felt safe wrapped in those arms, especially when Bruce got back from patrol.

" How about a break gentlemen? " Alfred yelled out, seeing how they were getting tired.

" Sure Alfred. " Bruce said, jogging towards his beloved. (Y/N) knew what Bruce's intention were.

" Bruce, I love you, but no kisses while you are sweaty. "

Bruce actually pouted, but complied. He took a sip of water, then glanced back at his boyfriend.

" Bruce, no. Shower first then you can kiss me. No ifs or buts. "

Bruce pouted once more, looking like a kicked puppy. The boys snickered at their father's reaction.

" Fine, you win. Guys, eat something. You wait here hun. "

Bruce left and the boys couldn't help but comment.

" You know (Y/N), I have never seen Bruce so whipped for somebody. And I have been with him the longest here. " Dick commented, smiling.

" I agree. Father is whipped for you. " Damian said, taking a sip of his water.

" I would say a simp. " Jason said.

Tim rolled his eyes at the name. (Y/N) simply hummed, fully aware of the meaning behind that word. He wanted to keep up with his students, so he took it upon himself to learn their slang. Urban dictionary was a good help.

" Tim, Jason is not really wrong. Bruce is always ready to take his credit card and simply buy me whatever I glanced at. I looked at Stephen King's book It. A simple glance. What I found the next day, in my room, with a rose and a note saying and I quote: ' Have a good day at work my darling. Your beloved Bruce. ' "

" I remember when you hid his wallet once, you were swamped with gits. I also remember, you said something about giving something for us before the Christmas break. You said something about like something small, like some candy and what not. " Damian remembered.

" And your father got me enough candy for the entire school. I don't think any of you realize how hard it is to explain to your coworkers how you could afford it. " (Y/N) snickered at the memory.

The boys chuckled quietly at that. But that sealed (Y/N)'s spot as the favorite teacher of the school.

" But you position as the best teacher in school was solified. " Dick added, sitting down on the chair.

" Really? " (Y/N), furrowing his eyebrows, looking at the boys as if they grew a second head. he was aware that the students liked him, he was a chill professor, but still wanted their best and always helped those who needed extra help... But he didn't think he was the best teacher there.

" Yup. We would never lie to you. " Jason said, taking a bite of the sandwich.

" I mean, you help us out with our assignments and you proofread them. " Jason said, cringing at the thought of his past assignments. Jesus Christ, how did he pass all of that?

" Don't cringe at the past assignments Jason, you came a long way. "

Jason wanted to say something, but smirked, looking behind (Y/N)'s shoulder.

" Okay, I showered, now there is no escape. " Bruce said, lifting (Y/N) up to sit him in his lap. (Y/N) yelped and bushed.

" My God Bruce, you are like a golden retriever and a cat mixed all in one. "

Bruce gave (Y/N) a kiss on the cheek and squeezed him a bit tighter. (Y/N) huffed, but leaned back on Bruce. He was so warm, ready to drift off.

(Y/N) sighed as he got into the faculty room. His coworkers were all acting as if they were teenagers.

" Okay, is anybody going to tell me what is going on or do I have to turn into Sherlock Holmes? " (Y/N) asked, not having a clue.

" Oh, just this. " JJ said, opening something on his phone. He handed (Y/N) the phone and he nearly died of shock. It was from a tabloid, revealing (Y/N)'s and Bruce's relationship to the world. There were pictures from their date recently... Bastards...

" Why didn't you tell us you started dating again? " Kaylee asked him, all happy for him.

(Y/N) was numb as he gave the phone back. He took a deep breath and excused himself from the room. He took his phone out and called Bruce. He went to a closet and waited for Bruce picked up.

" Hey hun, I know, I read it too. My PR team and I are working on it. I'm sorry. " Bruce apologized, feeling awful.

He can take the heat of the press, but (Y/N) can't. He was never in the spotlight and Bruce liked it. He wasn't ashamed of his lover, he wanted to show him off, but on (Y/N)'s terms. Not in the press'.

" It's not your fault Bruce, I should have known that this day would have come. "

" No, don't say that, you and I should have gone public on your accord. I can always leave earlier from work and pick you up. Do you need me to pick me up? "

(Y/N) smiled at Bruce's proposition.

" Pick me up at 3:30 then, I am substituting today. "

" Will do. Did your coworkers say anything about... Us? "

" Only good things B. "

" Okay. Somebody tries to do something, call me. Okay? "

" Okay Bruce. I love you. " (Y/N) said, smiling like an idiot.

" I love you too hun. "

(Y/N) hanged up and went back to the faculty room. He took a deep breath before entering. Everyone looked at him and JJ looked sad, regretful even.

" JJ, it's not your fault. I'm not mad, just shocked that the news got out. "

JJ nodded.

" Is he treating you well? "Kaylee asked.

" He is. "

" Good. He better. "

(Y/N) smiled.

" And we are not judging you based on your sexuality. " Tamara, the principal said, taking a cup of coffee.

" Anyone tries to, come to us. " Kaylee added.

(Y/N) nodded, taking a cup of warm coffee from JJ.

" So... When did this start? " JJ asked.

" A year and a half ago. " (Y/N) answered, sitting at the desk in the center of the room.

Kaylee smiled and gave him a side hug.

" I am happy for you. If my work bestie is happy, then so am I. But I want to meet him. He needs to know that if he hurts you, we will come after him. " Kaylee said, a dark look going through her eyes.

" Okay, lets not go there. " (Y/N) said.

" If you say so. "

And true to his word, Bruce picked him up at 3:30 exactly. And with the press, who were there watching taking photos and trying to get their attention.

Bruce was leaning on the front of his car, ignoring the press, simply waiting for his boyfriend to come out.

And once he did, he lit up. He stood up, fixed his posture and when (Y/N) was close, he brought him into a hug. (Y/N) didn't mind at all, but they need talk about the press.

" I know, lets go home. " Bruce said, as if he read his mind, pulling away and opening the door for his boyfriend.

And once they were home, they could relax. Well, everyone expect (Y/N). He was stressed out now.

" Hun? Are you okay? " Bruce asked, gently taking him into his arms on the sofa.

" I'm just... Really stressed... And tired. " (Y/N) replied, leaning back into Bruce, tracing random patterns on his forearm.

" I know, I'm sorry. "

" Bruce, it's not your fault. It's theirs. They have no concept of privacy... Bastards. " (Y/N) muttered.

" Hey guys, I will be quick, you are trending on Twitter. Bruce for being with a man and (Y/N) for... " Dick trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

" For what Dick? " Bruce asked, anger and possessiveness clawing at his chest. He brought (Y/N) closer, nuzzling the crook of his neck.

" For his looks. People are saying that he is cute, hot, adorable... Nothing bad for now. "

Bruce hummed, a bit shocked, knowing how people are judgmental, so the positivity shocked him. Not the fact that (Y/N) is hot, adorable.

" Really? " (Y/N) asked, brows furrowing.

" Yes. Just wanted to let you know. They are saying that you two look adorable. " Dick said, leaving the room. He needs to finish his homework before patrol.

" Huh. " (Y/N) said, after a minute.

" A good huh, or... "

" A good one. "

Bruce sighed in relief. Okay. This is good.

" Would you like me to make a statement? " Bruce asked his lover, giving him a gentle kiss on the back of (Y/N)'s neck.

" Over what? "

" I don't know. Maybe post a picture of us or you, and write something. Or just write a Tweet, but that won't do any justice. "

" So Instagram? "

" I have a great picture of you. And you will be involved in writing it. I need an English major for this. "

" You got it Bruce. "

And they did just that. Bruce posted what he considered to be a beautiful photo of (Y/N), the one where he was laughing at something, on the sofa.

And in the caption:

' I have always said to the press, leave my loved ones out your headlines. That includes my children and now (Y/N). What the press did was beyond despicable, a complete invasion of privacy of someone who didn't want to be in the spotlight. And I am warning the paparazzies right now. Just like I said before, my kids and (Y/N) are off limits. I am not afraid to use force to protect the people I love. (Y/N), alongside my children are not to be followed around school. I will be dragging you and your companies to court if you do. And I'm not someone you want to get caught with in a legal battle. '