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#I like them bc their healthy but some of them are just too low in calories to fill me up for a while
seaweedstarshine · 4 months
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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barkingangelbaby · 4 months
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venting so much i ran out of tags lmao
#i think im hallucinating ?????#i have my headphones on (listening to boyfeel on repeat n choppin up some paper)#and keep feeling / seeing shadows in my peripheral vision#im probably just dehydrated and having bad floaters but i dont like it :)#today has also been bad dramatically awful#life isn't serious there's no reason to feel this heavy#oop very emo thoughts incoming#life can't be meaningful or ill miss my parents too much but can't be meaningless or im living without them for nothing#im just. struggling very hard this year. idk#i had so much health bullshit going on for months that i put off going to a psych n now im so busy that it feels bad taking time off for it#and im also scared of getting on meds bc the idea of being dependent on something that i might not have access to is.. auuughhh#idk dude my adhd has been debilitating lately and i feel so stuck and sometimes i think i have ocd bc my compulsions are so fucking bad and#all my mental bullshit with my breathing has slowly been driving me wild and peaks my anxiety#and sometimes i worry abt being bipolar bc my mom's mom is and my mom's best friend told me she thought my mom might have been#bc the way my moods are so low or so high is exhausting it feels like i haven't had a “normal” day in so long#but also atp when im happy i feel manic bc idk how to healthily experience happiness anymore#idfk y'all !!!! im also very nonverbal these days#ugh and still going back n forth on telling my therapist ive been suicidal again bc i dont want him to have to report me or anything idk#a few months ago i made a joke about offing myself and he got rly serious n said he'd have to take action if im serious so im leaning no#like. i wouldnt actually kill myself. i just don't want to exist sometimes in this life#its just been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard lately without my parents or grandma#and even after all these years it's still heartwrenching to think about continuing to live this life without them#like. i just want to make them laugh. i just want to feel their arms around me in a warm hug. i just want to dance to their favorite songs.#i don't want to think of them and see their dead bodies anymore. i want to remember them healthy and smiling.#i would take care of them again in every lifetime but fuck dude. i just want to remember their good days instead of the end. can i please#please fucking invision them at their best. i want to remember the dad that played baseball and video games and whose laugh filled the room#i want to remember my grandma who was so sassy but kind. whose button nose crinkled when she smiled. who taught me to happily be dramatic#i don't want to remember them being frail. i want to forget the frustration i saw in their eyes. i want to forget seeing them struggle#(insert sadness about not remembering my mom at all)#just. fuck dude. my life is simple and i am safe so i shouldn't complain. but things feel so fucking hard sometimes. i feel so heartbroken
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pepprs · 2 years
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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i'm. fucking. HUNGRY.
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girldriveroscar · 1 month
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CRACKS KNUCKLES heres some parasocial nonsense. pls dont take too serious im just being silly.
insp by @inchidentally the 814 essay GOAT… Hi.
Okyeah analyzing this video and recent posts.
So Like. oscar piastri being the normalTm guy whos still w his hs sweetheart, wears graphic tees and beat up af1s and still vacations w the guys he grew up w, who was actually kinda socialized (as well as any other well-off posh kid who’s parents could afford the luxury of fucking them off to boarding school i digress).. but like, he played pranks w the Lads and got congratulatory slaps on the back, his first crushes wer probs navigated in small talk during class and walking together in the halls? generally just a guy who balanced his social life and Career to Some relatively healthy degree so it’s not like Completely foreign to him how to talk to girls and make friends. and so he gets that building an intimate relationship w someone is mostly just hanging out, experiencing new food tgthr, new movies, walking around a new city, he just gives such a NORMAL GUY answer of a perfect date, and i think part of being socialized the way he was gave him the understanding that grandiose gestures of love kinda just come off as disingenuous. oscar jus reads as a guy whos never resorted to showboating bc his introduction to romance was just like anyone else, awkward shuffling and bonding on the weekends over pizza and homework. and even as a formula 1 RACE WINNER GUY W MONEY hiiiiii, he still has such a cute simple recipe for a perf date bc hes been through it. he knows how to court someone bc it worked and its been working!!!
then on the flip u have THE peacock tm, shirt unbuttoned so low might as well forgo it atp, lando norris whos perfect date idea is hi, (wtf.) YACHT. and sex (exhibitionist freak. sorry who said that…) like boyyyy oh my god shakes him by the shoulders u are so not normal. lando norris, who’s always ben a little comfier than his peers growing up. always out of place bc his dads pockets were Open and Ready to ensure he never had to worry about pinching pennies in a spar for some chips after class Yeah and he doesnt even know it bc thats NEVER been his life? yeaaa and add in a dash of Always being on the race track, never rly socializing w. girls or boys who weren’t in direct competition w him, turning 19 and immediately being sized up to his older hyper-masculine charming And sexy teammate. (getting carried away mb)
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lando himself explaining that having to grow up so fast and be a good boy (His words.) prevented him from finding his footing in social settings and only now being able to experience these things at 23/24?!
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i digress now also factor in his (alleged…) favorite movie is a silly romcom?! (also maybe just peacocking tho bc “girls love a guy w a soft side” and lando wld know bc he watched one movie about it…. like srsly u want me to believe the hangover and stepbrothers belong in the same category as Romcom u dont rmbr the name of okk weirdo)
so yea of course a boy who’s never passed notes to his crush in class, never asked anyone to a dance, never pulled pranks w his schoolmates, Understands intimacy thru cheesy romcoms an weekends emptying his dads wallet on flights to wtv racing event. LIKE OF COURSE he thinks romance is wtv he can mimic from A. how his dad showed him love (…$$..) and B. what the movies r saying ! (thats socially repressed twin.) AND THE GAG OF IT ALL!!!! is he thinks he is so suave so playboy, “i have sex and let me announce about it publicly in case u doubted it” when the reality of it is like? dude u are thirst-liking instagram models while oscar is Getting it every night ur such a loser omfg.
just Like. Ugh the juxtaposition of oscar whos so secure in himself in his dad shorts and ANKLE socks and lando who just grew out of his awkwardness in his early 20s and now Needs to slut himself out to make up for lost time.
(AND. the double gag is landos still so obviously not secure abt the fact he Doesnt Really Know what hes doing that every one can see it ouhmygodd lando x chernobyl levels of imposter syndrome u are so complicated and angsty U TEENAGE GIRL. holds a can of diet coke to his lips. there there girl. there there.)
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HOW I’VE BEEN SUCESSFULLY LOSING WEIGHT: Notes from a former binge eater ♥️
*this guide is to show how ~I~ do things and offer advice on how to do it MY way. I am in no way encouraging anyone to do themselves harm. First off,
HEALTH IS WEALTH.
That being said.. this is literally the longest I’ve ever gone without bingeing. It’s just,,, easy this time. Once you get a feel of what it’s like to be skinny you just don’t crave junk as much anymore bc you KNOW it’s not worth it. The trick is to eat clean 90% of the time and allow your favorite treats 10% do the time. Fit them into your calorie limit!!! Here’s some personal favorites that have helped me lose like 20lbs in the past 2 months.
I tend to do one higher- calorie drink during the day (protein shake, Starbucks, etc) and one healthy filling but low cal meal and a sweet snack at the end of the night.
LOW CALORIE 90%
Mediterranean salad (~150): mixed greens, chopped bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, red onion. Little bit of feta cheese. Balsamic vinegar (not dressing or vinegarette!!!!) I don’t add meat but you could totally add chicken for low cal high protein choice. You could also add olives but I don’t fw them.
Chocolate Protein shakes from the gas station (loll). They’re 220 cal on average and a great treat. Strawberry one is good too.
SEAWEED SNACKS they’re literally 30-60 calories for a pack and kill my urge to eat chips!!! Please give them a try!
Soups. Soups that are already portioned and have the calorie amount posted. I add extra seasonings and spice to boost metabolism.
Coffee!! With almond milk and a little coffee creamer. It’s worth the calories if you want a coffee just make one it’s better than going to Starbucks.
Sushi: I’m vegetarian so I get an avocado and cucumber roll. It’s so good with fresh ginger and a little soy sauce. Sometimes I will be craving it allllllll day and have it as my OMAD so rewarding 🥹
Miso soup>>>>>> add tofu and seaweed and onions!! And mushrooms if you like them.
Monster Ultra energy drinks,,,, yeah I know they’re bad for you but I love them.
Fruits!!! I especially love strawberries, watermelon, cherries, blackberries, pineapple and mangoes.
TREATS 10%
Trail mix: dried cherries, pecans, walnuts, pistachios, cashews. High in calories but perfect for killing hunger. High protein keeps you full and muscles strong, high healthy fats will keep your hair and skin and nails beautiful.
Chocolates: SMALL PORTIONS. if you can’t eat just eat a piece without bingeing, do NOT buy a big bag. what I do is I buy a bar of whatever chocolate I’m craving for my bf and we share it piece by piece. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white, hazelnut, with coffee beans, with toffee, fruits, chocolate is the best thing ever 🍫
Starbucks! My fav drinks are matcha lattes (hot/iced), iced white chocolate mocha, caramel macchiato, and occasionally a pumpkin spice latte. Peppermint mochas on the holidays. Oat milk always
Baked goods. Same deal as the chocolate, ONLY BUY THE PORTION YOURE GOING TO EAT. If you have been craving a croissant, go get one. One. Don’t buy a whole dozen of them. You will end up bingeing trust me. My favs are cinnamon rolls <3
Habits
I’m going to the gym!!! Consistently for the first time in my life. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Spend 30 min on the treadmill alternating between incline walking and easy paced jogging. Put on a YouTube video. Wear pink and bring a cute water bottle. You have to make an experience out of it! I stick to cardio and full body stretches plus ocasional (light) strength workouts w my bf.
I don’t drink anymore. Just 🍃. Alc is so high in sugar and carbs and it’s literally poison bro. I know it’s hard to stop but once you do you’ll feel so much better.
I rarely weigh myself. I’m at my bfs house all the time so I only step on my scale maybe 3 times a month. It’s been a game changer!!!
MINDSET
I practice mindfulness and speak kindly to myself. Basically sweetspo + affirmations to myself all the time.
Taking more pride in your appearance will also help motivate you. You think you’ll still want to binge after you took a full body shower, clean PJ’s or outfit, painted your nails, skincare and makeup done, whitened your teeth and lit a candle? No thanks.
Limit stupid, negative, useless media consumption. Watch things that have to do with your hobbies/ interests and your social media algorithms begin to kinda clean themselves up over time. My pages are all about exercise, study blogs, beauty tips and sciencey stuff. No more drama or celebrity nonsense. Cut down your following!!
Remember you only have one life on earth. You’re young and hot once. Don’t you want to grab this chance while you have it? Unfortunately your beauty is your currency especially as a woman, so if there’s anything I can do to give myself a better life I will. Losing just a few pounds of fat will make the craziest difference in ways you’d never expect. Free and discounted stuff. More people smile at you and listen to what you have to say. Both literal and figurative doors will be opened for you.Clothes fit better bc they’re more flattering when your body is fit and healthy. While it feels good to get validation from other people, the best part of it is looking in the mirror and feeling proud instead of ashamed. The inner confidence that comes from successful transformation………….there’s no other feeling that compares. If you know, you know. I’m just saying,, the choice is yours 🤷🏼‍♀️
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anaeve1224 · 1 month
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skinny secrets pt 1 :))
1. be overly hydrated - this doesn’t JUST mean water, most drinks (excluding energy drinks and plain espresso/cold brew) hydrate you and it helps you feel less hungry
2. WALKK - seriously walking is the easiest way to burn calories, 1 mile (~2,000 steps) burns around 100 calories and it tones your legs and makes them look slimmer (thigh gap !!!) some of them walk up to 10,000-15,000 or even 20,000 steps a day which is 500-1,000 calories burned
3. workout first thing in the morning BEFORE EATING - if u want to be in the negatives when u start your day for example but you need to eat breakfast it’s so much easier to burn 250 calories and then eat a 200 calorie breakfast than it is to eat a 200 calorie breakfast and then burn it off plus extra, also it just feels better when you eat knowing you’ve already burned this meal off and you don’t have to worry about it
4. prioritize sleep - this one is so so so important u burn SO many calories while sleeping and sleep in necessary for a healthy metabolism (napping counts !!) seriously i cannot stress how important sleep (and water) is !! ALSO fun fact— consistent lack of sleep can increase impulsivity and negatively impact your ability to make decisions with a long term goal in mind. i’ve been sleeping so much lately and i’m able to choose foods that are good for me and i almost never regret eating bc i’m keeping my goals in mind and eating healthy foods within my limit! lack of sleep can also affect your hunger hormones and increase your appetite, i find that days i don’t get enough sleep are also the days that i really have to fight the urge to binge
5. do your work/hw at a walking desk or on a stationary bike - this one helps me SOO MUCH it’s sm easier to focus on my work and i can burn like 500 calories while doing my homework. skinny girls like to be “unconsciously” active so something like this is perfect, and low impact workouts are the best- high impact too often puts too much unneeded stress on your body and will slow down your wl
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livinahey · 9 months
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aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・
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i'm back :)
.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>
if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you
speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥
asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house
1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(
2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it
3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor
4h - hatred towards family
5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit
6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)
7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone
8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive
9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible
10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)
11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media
12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"
cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)
what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to
taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)
mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!
some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you
undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️
talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)
developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)
what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭
water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹
air venus stop giving mixed signals
i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹
moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it
libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()
undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty
pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao
aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed
air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉
saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(
there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓
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wherenymphsroam · 11 months
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Real dad! Leon coming over to help you with your car.
Something’s wrong with it, so why wouldn’t you call your dad to help you out? He gets there, pops the hood and finds the problem that he starts to fix.
You check on him every ten or so minutes, noticing how maybe he took his jacket off, how his hair is getting messier. He’s more out of breath and a little sweaty. It makes you forget he was even speaking to you, asking for you to go grab him a bottle of water so he can cool down.
And when you do come out with the water, his shirt is off this time. He grins and laughs at you. Maybe he’s a little mean and teases you about it, talking about how you haven’t seen a man like him before ugh omg
The tension would be sooo thick after that. Especially if he stays over for a while, maybe taking a shower in your bathroom. He comes out in a towel, making sure it hangs low to catch your attention since you just loved staring at him earlier
Please please please hear me out
oh I’m hearing you Mel. I’m hearing ya.
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“Like mother like daughter”
cw: daddy/daughter incest, leon is your real dad in this, some mixed in religious themes, leon being a cocky douche even in his old age, kitchen counter fucking, slight breath play but it’s only bc Leon’s arm is around readers neck, barely proof read.
a/n: idc im not making this formatting all pretty, I literally blacked out and coughed up 2.5k at two in the morning. straight filth. here you go, eat you little shits.
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And up until that point, it’s just that. It’s only that. Tension. Silent, deadly, heavy in the air of your small place.
That is, until he slices right through it, walking out of your bathroom in nothing but that towel.
When you were smaller, he’d never take showers when you were around, making sure to slip them in during the dark hours of the morning or long after you were asleep. And on the occasion that you were around, even into your teen years he’d all but beeline to his bedroom to get changed, only leaving you with a lingering glance at his broad back. That is, when you’d will yourself to look as he strode down the hall. You shouldn’t be looking at your dad in such immodest state, let alone like that.
And yet here you are, dry mouthed and stock still where you stand at your kitchen island. He had strode in, so confident, almost cocky, claiming he forgot his glass of water. As if he couldn’t have grabbed it after he was decent. Because he’s just so thirsty after all that work today, and the kitchen is on the way to your guest bedroom where he was going to change anyway. What would be the point in doubling back?
He’s about to grab his glass and slip back out of the kitchen, content enough to be swift in his appearance. That is, until he notices the look on your face.
“What?” He chuckles, his smile sly. He knew he didn’t look the same as he did when he was twenty something years old. The scars, the soft layers of fat that had cropped up over thick muscles in his pecs and abs, the healthy line of hair that trails underneath his towel — it’s all a reminder of what his body has been through, how it’s matured through the years. Yet, here you were standing there and gawking at him, as if you’d never seen a shirtless man before.
He’s met with silence. Wetting your lips, swallowing thickly, blinking a few times — it’s takes you a beat too long to be deemed appropriate to realize you were staring. Barely holding back the urge to curse under your breath, you cover your obvious gawking with a dry cough, a shake of your head. Waving a dismissive hand at him and rolling your eyes as if suddenly he’s a nuisance.
“Ew,” you snort, turning back to the dishes you had been in the middle of doing. “Go get changed, old man.”
“Ouch,” he hissed, snickering now. Directly defying your playful orders, he leans on the kitchen island now, leaving only the hand on his hip to keep his towel secure around his hips.
“I wasn’t always an old man. Your mom was attracted to me at one point in time, you know,” he hums, teasing, playful. Far more playful than appropriate.
“Obviously,” you mutter, willing yourself not to turn around. Your gaze bores down, practically drilling through the pan you’re scrubbing. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
He laughs then, throaty and low, his stomach shaking from the strength of it.
“That you are.”
Footsteps.
Coming towards you, the old tile squeaking softly in specific weak points as he crosses your small kitchen. You don’t notice how your scrubbing slows, subconsciously distracted by his warmth as it settles behind you, looming.
“I asked you a question, you know,” he murmurs, piercing eyes trained on you.
He’s done this in times past. Sometimes when he’s reprimanded you, sometimes in joking passing. Directing your attention back to a voiced inquiry that you decide to oh so conveniently side step, choosing to ignore in favor of your own comfort. And like always, he wasn’t going to let you slide.
“What’s with that look on your face?” he rephrases, tilting his head.
Don’t stop scrubbing.
You don’t. If anything, the movements of your arm grow faster, harder, practically burning your sponge into the surface of a pan that’s been clean for two minutes now.
“What look?” you hum, feigning ignorance, clearly so busy with your task at hand.
Rolling his eyes, he adjusts his towel around his hip, tugging it tighter. The action had the back of his palm brushing into your hip.
“Nope. You don’t get to play dumb with me,” he tuts, low and far too close to the back of your neck. A few inches more, and his breath would fan against the back of your neck.
“When was the last time you went out, anyways? Hell, the last time you told me about a boyfriend?” he snickers, moreso at the mental image of the last loser you brought home to him.
Sighing, your jaw sets, your heart skipping in your chest.
“Dad, we’re not talking about this right now,” you groan, adjusting your craned neck, shifting your weight over your feet as you turn the faucet on. Suds slide off the nonstick surface of the pan, pooling and circling to disappear a moment later down your drain.
“You’re right. We’re not.”
Pausing, your gut twists in a way you haven’t felt in a while. It’s that feeling you get, that tugging that tells you the guy you’re hanging out with wants more. That the guy you’re alone with has intentions driven by hunger, need. That he wants you.
But you’re not alone with just some guy. Not alone with even a guy your age. He’s not a classmate. Not a friend. Not some sleazy tinder date you brought home.
It’s your dad.
A deep breath in. An effort of swallowing and burying that feeling. Of shoving it deep enough in hopes that it wouldn’t crawl back up again.
An exhale through your nose, forcing your movements as you reach for the next dirty dish.
“Then what are we talking about?” you scoff, glad he can’t see your face, your eyes that waver. Taking a tone you typically do during your nitter nattering with him, a tone he would reprimand you for in your teen years.
“The fact that you were eye-fucking your father a minute ago,” he mutters, his tone indecipherable.
“That’s what we’re talking about.”
Was he angry?
Disappointed, maybe?
Uncomfortable?
You can’t tell. Out of all the times you’re able to read your father, quick to pin down his vocal habits, of course it’s right now that you fail to get a read on him. Because admittedly, you haven’t heard him like this before.
Why did you care? Did you want him to be angry? Uncomfortable?
Why aren’t you uncomfortable?
Finally, your pitiful stress scrubbing comes to a halt. It’s as if he just fed an IV of ice water through your veins, his voice resounding through the kitchen as it falls silent around you.
You’re hesitant, slow when you turn your head. Brows knitted, lips parted — something you got from him — you can’t even bring yourself to meet his damn eyes.
“W… What? Dad, I’m not eye-fucking you-“
“Be honest. When was the last time you got laid?” he scoffs, all amusement drained from his voice. Not quite lecturing, nor demanding. But firm.
Glancing up at him, you search his eyes, silently floundering under his hard gaze. It takes all your willpower not to let your own wander down the still damp skin of his neck, his collarbones.
This isn’t appropriate.
When you were younger, he’d physically cringe at the idea of you ever experiencing sex. Would clench his fist, draw his brows at the idea of some insolent little boy getting his hands on you, in you.
“Don’t forget to mention the .45 I keep in my bedside,” he’d not so jokingly quip whenever you’d head out for a date.
“Well, I’ll leave you two to it then. Gotta go polish my bat,” he’d make a point of specifying the one time you had a male friend over to study for a big exam.
It was from a place of protectiveness. Of love. Because you were his little girl. Didn’t want you getting hurt. Even if he knew that one day you’d probably end up entangled in the back of some college idiots Honda accord his parents got him, that you’d one day be introduced to the world of true heart break, he wanted, needed to keep you out of the worlds grips for just a little bit longer. For as long as he could control.
And here he is, asking so crudely when you last got laid.
“I asked you a question.”
A beat passes. Another one. Your neck is uncomfortable, half turned over your shoulder like this. But you dare not turn away.
“Never.”
Oh.
Oh.
There it is. All it took was some light prodding and you’re coughing up.
Because he told you to. Because he loves you. Because you’re a good girl. His good girl.
Not some sleazy tinder dates.
Not some broke college boy with a measly Honda accord.
No, no. He really should’ve known better. You have more refined taste than he often wants to give you credit for. Well, that is, until he’s taking credit for you, so quick to remind you it’s him you inherited such trait from.
His little girl was always needier than that. Better than that. Smarter than to so freely give herself to whatever scumbag picked her up some flowers from the grocery store on his way over to the house before a date, smarter than to let some asshole take advantage of any insecurity.
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“You were saving it for me weren’t you?”
His voice comes out as a panted snicker into your neck, spoke into the numerous bites and blooming spots of color along your nape. It takes you a moment, lost in the hazy, sickly heated daze the two of your have made of the kitchen air around you. With pots long forgotten, one side of the sink full of cooled water, the sound of the faucet that had been running earlier is replaced with the wet claps of skin against skin.
Sharp, deep, all consuming when his pelvis collides into your ass, the fat of it rippling under each heavy collision. It threatens to steal your sense of coherency from you with each drive.
“H… Huh?”
Your voice is a mess, not too unlike the rest of you. The thick arm he has wrapped around your neck doesn’t really help, seeing as how it only constricts your already dry throat. Speaking proved to be far more difficult than it maybe should be right now.
“Your virginity, sunshine,” he murmurs into your ear, low and hot, brewed with an aftertaste of amusement. As if he didn’t just address you by the nickname he gave you when you were, what, three? As if he wasn’t speaking over the sounds of his body burying him within yours.
“Y’saved it just for me, huh? Knew only your Daddy could take care of you?” he snickers, looking at you oh so intently, adoringly almost. Far too tenderly, given how the thick muscles of his arm ripple with each jerk of your body in his hold.
You were always so pretty. Got it from your mother. Those sweet eyes, the pout of your lips. Even your tears, how they rolled down your cheeks in fat, hot trails of ecstasy matched how your mother would cry for him. How sweet.
And oh, even sweeter, the hitch of your constricted breaths. Your cries, your whimpers, those broken moans that fall so steadily are heavenly, even if what he was committing right now was far from.
Leon had never been a religious man, at least not into his adult life.
What the hell did he care about how wrong this was? God could twist and turn and kick and scream all he wanted, sat up on his high and mighty throne. He could whine and cry all about this was wrong, how he didn’t bless Leon with such a beautiful daughter for him to fuck her.
But right now? Leon doubts that. Hell. Somewhere, hidden deep into the darkest corners and recesses of his mind, Leon hopes that is the reason he was given a daughter. He snickers at the very idea of you being bestowed to him like the damn sacrificial lamb for the slaughter, his own personal sunshine and warm body.
Because why else would you cry like her?
Why else would you sigh and tremble and shudder just like her?
Why else would your voice crack and pitch along the same patterns hers did when he pushed her to her very limits?
Why else would God let his most beloved walk out of his life and leave him with her most beautiful creation, if not to fall in love with her all over again?
“Yes, yes, yes,” you whimper, like a damn broken record in his arms. With your shorts pooled around your ankles, your shirt shoved up just high enough for him to paw at your pretty tits, you were practically a spitting image.
A growl of satisfaction, of delight reverberates through him and you feel it. It all but shakes you to your core, how his chest rumbles against your back. It’s all consuming, so overwhelmingly delicious how warm, how strong he is. You really couldn’t be to blame for how quickly you deteriorate, stuttering through gasped warnings of impending end.
“Ask me properly,” he mutters into your neck, breaths heavy with exertion and hot with carnal lust as he speaks into the shell of your ear.
“Tell Dad you wanna come.”
“Please, please-“
Coughing, your choke briefly around your own spit, and it takes you a second to recover. But it’s only a moment later that you’re shaking your head to the best of its mobility trapped in the crux of his elbow, eyes hazy as you gaze up at him.
“Dad- Dad lemme come. Wan’ come so bad, please, please Dad-“
Eager. So fucking eager, just like your damn mother. All that spunk, all those sarcastic retorts and matter of fact quips that attempt to keep him at bay, stretched thin and see through around the girth of him. He can’t help but laugh at the irony, even moreso when you only spasm around the sound.
And when he finally utters his permission, he’s not gazing down at you to revel in how your orgasm tears through you. He’s tracking every facial expression; every tear, every wobble of your lip and roll of your eyes, all in search of her.
Because as much as he adored the parts of you that were him. As much as he loved teasing you for your similarities, poking fun at the parts of you that were her, he couldn’t help but come to a compromise then.
That yeah, you were a Daddy’s girl through and through.
But at the end of the day, the saying really should be ‘like mother like daughter’.
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peachesofteal · 1 year
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The dead disco break up Pregnancy au got me in my feels all day. Literally all day.
And all I can think about is when the guys get home? Find her not at the apartment and they’re both like, “can’t blame her, I get it” and are over come with guilt. Their own relationship getting a little rocky. Maybe Johnny gets frustrated more easily with Simon. Simon withdrawals a little more into himself bc that’s how he handles pain and grief. But they make it through. They always do. Until they find out about darling and the baby. However that happens, be it in a grocery store or whatever. But Simon comes from a very traumatized childhood. He sees the baby and just knows. That’s their kid. And is overcome with so much grief bc now he’s no worse that his dad is he? What’s worse than someone that’s there and beats you? Someone that’s not there at all. Not knowing. And he has always promised himself he’d never be like his father, but than this is just too close to comfort.
I imagine he surprises not only himself but Johnny and darling the most when he ends up doing something drastic. There were no words he had to defend himself or Johnny. He’d be mature. Whatever it takes, whatever darling needed just let him be in his child’s life, let him be in your life, let him do better. Don’t LET HIM HAVE THIS WEIGHT ON HIS SHOULDERS.
Darling would have more whiplash than Johnny but even Johnny is taken back by the lengths Simon would go? (Getting out the military? Domestic security and law enforcement jobs so he can be home? Idk?) but Simon just comes out of no where, with “I’m here. I’m not going no where. I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.” Bc he does love darling and he does love Johnny, but that kid? He’d move heaven and hell for that kid. It was Ryan Reynolds who was like “I love my wife, love her more than anything. Then we had our baby girls and realized I would use my wife as a human shield to protect my kids” As a joke of course but it’s to that extent. Simons 2 priority’s become taking care of that child and mending the relationship between the three of them, not bc he loves them (he totally does, and his devotion to his partners is infallible) BUT BECAUSE that kid needs to know what healthy relationships are based out of love and communication not grief and missed social cues and resentment.
Simon takes fatherhood seriously. Most serious job there is. And he’s not going to let darling’s (low key selfish) feelings of betrayal and self deprecation keep him from taking care of his child and said mother of that child.
———
Johnny however? He’s the one that’s hesitant surprisingly. He’s hurt. Beyond hurt that you wouldn’t tell them something like this. It’s the adult thing to at least say something right? Even if they did leave. This is more than them now. And he goes along with Simons initiative to fix all of this but Johnny needs some serious reassurance and maybe an outlet for all this anger and hurt he has. And there’s so much going on that it’s easy for Simon and darling to kinda miss that a little bit,
Until Johnny doesn’t want to hold the baby. Says he’s scared he’d drop it. But Simon knows better.
Johnny feels lost.
Darling feels lost.
Simon is their beacon of light in the darkness.
It comes down to the sexiest night known to human existence, and a lot of crying and confessions while fucking all those emotions out. Simon has always known how to get these two to let down their walls. Breakfast is for figuring out detail’s schedules ect. But that night? That was them fixing it. Letting go and moving forward. In the sexiest. Way. Possible.
^look what you’ve done to me. I’m serving alcohol at a bar thinking about these characters, THE DISTRACTION IS REAL AND I NEED MORE.
You’re fantastic. I hate you for doing this to my brain. Love ya!
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Um… hi? Hello? Come back. Let’s talk about this more, let’s break it down. I am obsessed with this. I love this. 🩵🩵
Simon goes into protective overdrive the second he see’s you. Not sure how or when or where it happens, but Bee is not even two months old, and he doesn’t even need to ask you. She’s so little, cocooned in a linen wrap, cradled to your chest, and he already knows. How could that baby be anyone’s but their own?
He does exactly as you’ve described, drops everything and retires early. Price and Johnny always thought he’d make captain soon, but none of that matters now. His military aspirations have meant less and less every year since he met Johnny, and meeting you only sped his career’s ultimate demise along.
He’s not going to let the cycle repeat. He’s not going to let his child grow up and feel like they’ve been abandoned by him. He’s not going to let Bee grow up without him being there. Loving her. Supporting her. He won’t be his father. He refuses.
You agree to let them see her, and agree to let them take her for nights or days if they’d like. But you won’t let them in. Won’t do much more than co parent with them, won’t engage in anything real with them, won’t give them a single inch. You stonewall them, block them out, give them excuses and refusals at every turn. Sure, they can be in their daughter’s life… but they can’t be in yours.
While Bee is important, you are too. He wouldn’t use you as a shield to save her, he’d save you both. There’s no option. No choice. You’re the love of their lives, the now mother of his child. He’d lay down and die for you.
But none of that matters. You won’t let them in.
It drives Simon insane. He’s understanding, and mature about it, and patient (compared to Johnny, who’s running hot over it… frustrated, agitated, consistently visibly upset, holding onto his anger and resentment over the fact you never came forward and even told them about Bee. Johnny can’t get over that you went through everything alone… can’t understand why you wouldn’t tell them, give them a chance to be there for you.. and it stings. It hurts him, so fucking much, and that hurt melds into anger, it burns into his heart and twists his feelings until they’re a jumbled mess.) but he can’t seem to make you understand that they love you, that they thought about you everyday when they were gone, that they mourned the end of the relationship. It’s not just about the baby, they were coming back for you no matter what. They knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they weren’t meant to live their lives without you. They made a mistake.
But… they fucking abandoned you. And now they come back, and see that you have a baby and just decide they want to be back in your life? No. Absolutely not. They didn’t want you anymore, before Bee… nothing has changed. You won’t let yourself fall back into their grasp, and you’re so adamant about that that you fight them nearly at every turn. Can they take Bee? Sure. But “family trips” to the store? “Family trips” to the park? Not happening. You pack her diaper bag and kiss her goodbye, while Simon watches you with an intense scrutiny, eyes tracking your every step while he holds little Bee is his giant hand. He doesn’t miss a single thing, doesn’t miss the way your hands shake when you press a sweet kiss against her cheek, doesn’t miss the way your body moves sluggishly, like you’re exhausted, even after the nights they’ve had Bee, which means you should have gotten plenty of rest. Johnny just stands in the corner and stares at the floor, hands in his pockets during these exchanges, practically unwilling to engage with you in any way because he’s just so… upset with you, still. He’s better with Bee, loves her dearly, but can’t get past what he’s holding inside of himself, can’t get past how he feels so betrayed you, even though a part of him thinks he has no right to those feelings.
I love your last little bit - about the night Simon breaks you and Johnny apart and then puts you back together. There is something very similar/along those lines in the actual fic outline.
BUT ALSO… let’s imagine: They try to fix it. They try to get you to let them back in, to open up to them, to let them be there for you. As time goes on, Johnny changes, the red hot fire of anger that burns inside of him eventually goes out, lovingly smothered by Simon, and his resentment and feelings of betrayal all melt away. How could he ever have felt those things, when you were the one who was left all alone? Pregnant, with no way to contact them? He lets it all go, fully embracing parenting with you and Simon, trying to get back into your life, trying to love and support you from afar, any way they can. They start to notice a change in you… you seem a little happier, a little lighter on your feet, a little more relaxed and they think it might be working… that you finally might be growing more amenable about letting them in, about building back the relationship.
Until… they show up for Bee’s first birthday party, and there’s a man with his hand splayed on the small of you back in the backyard, holding you, tugging your body into his, while Bee shrieks and giggles on the blanket in the grass. There’s another man, watching their daughter, holding their darling girl close, while they stand in the doorway, shell shocked.
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kaemixx0 · 3 months
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I'm bored so why not some tips that have helped me (:
☆ The motivation is strong, but the discipline is more; You have to resist even if you don't want to. Search thinsp0, look in the mirror, think about the progress you've made!
☆ At first it may sound difficult, but once you fall in love with the feeling of being hungry, of being tired, of feeling like you haven't eaten enough, everything gets better, as I said, it's about discipline more than motivation.
☆ Drink a lot of water; that helps me a lot with the craving, feel full and just for distraction. Although I don't know how healthy I am in this regard, I usually drink more than two liters a day :)
☆ Don't forget your goals. Every time you feel hungry, think about all the previous times you have felt it and that didn't mean you ate, you have to be in control, it is your decision.
☆ I don't know how good this is, but I know it's horrible that you like sweets so much and can't eat them because you're ⭐️ving. Resist as long as you can, but if you really crave it, you should eat a small amount, enjoy it, and forget about it. Once in a long time of effort will not be bad, is much better than the frustration make u binge.
Personally, there is always one day a week when I usually eat more than my limit because family gatherings, I have to eat enough so they don't worry, so you too and could take it as a meta day –I have read that it helps maintain in control of your metabolism– and most importantly don't immerse yourself in guilt and frustration about this!
When you eat more than your limit bc you went out with friends, or your family, or maybe you had a good time with someone you love, forget it, our little happiness matters; tomorrow you will do it better.
Adding more:
☆ Download games that keep you focused; I usually play cod mobile, sometimes also while I walk around my house to increase my steps taken haha.
If your parents / family worry about u / u are afraid that they will notice:
☆Of course, if you can, try to eat before or after ur family so they don't notice how little you eat.
☆ Distribute your meals well according to your calorie restriction and how many times or how little your family allows you to eat, for example; I eat two meals a day, my limit is 500 kcal, so I try to make my breakfast very low in kcal because lunch is prepared by my mom and it usually has a lot of calories —you will realize that to achieve this you have to start observing and planning more, hun.
☆ Personally; I usually tell them that I want to take care of myself, being healthy and that I will not eat ultra-processed foods, junk food, etc., they understand that; I don't tell them that I want to lose weight, just want to eat healthy.
☆ Fix your attitude; Idk about you, but after the first week I radically start ⭐️ving myself, they noticed it by my mood; I was constantly irritated, upset and looked very tired, now I try to pretend normality.
☆ It helps me a lot to be active at home, at least now that I'm on vacation; I mean, there are some chores that I do every day —it helps me stay active and my parents think I'm fine :)
☆ In my case, I lost weight in a very short time, it wasn't much but it was noticeable, my parents noticed it, so I decided not to wear tight clothes anymore, normally only oversized t-shirts and loose shorts, that way, they won't notice so easily when I lose weight quickly and they won't worry.
♡ I hope this helps you even a little, stay safe
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bloominglegumes · 3 months
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Oh my goodness I just had to say I really love your fem Jazz she's so gorgeous I literally get so excited whenever I see her kicking my feet in the air help me..😭💖💖 I saw your previous post about fem Prowl and was wondering where you got ideas for visualising fem Jazz too!! :> Anyways love your work they are truly a blessing 🥹🥹
aahgh thank you so much!! <3 me too fr i'm the one drawing them and i'm like hunched over my tablet face in my hands grinning madly twirling my hair with my pen like nuts absolutely nuts
sorry this answer got really long,, i get asked about my favourite fictional guys or my art process and i just like schwoomph every time
for prowl my instinct was just straight up put her in a uniform ,, hair pinned + gelled back, low bun above the collar and held in a net etc etc and that made decisions like giving her thick shoulders and a gorgeous cold stare a lot easier!!! but i struggled more with jazz because of.jazz's whole character ykyk
jazz was one of the first tf characters i started noodling with a bishoujo design for, so initially i used the kotobukiya designs as a general style guide along with loose vibes combining spy + dancer, with a healthy amount of "how do i make her more cool + hot"
so so so i dug through pinterest a lot while looking for refs/inspo and felt my love for pretty girls growing by the second T~T
for the hair though,,, i tampered around a little trying to decide between buns and braids and such but i think now i'll mostly stick with giving jazz the undercut + dreadlocks?? i can finagle some cool shapes from it tied up, feels like it fits the effortlessly collected vibe that jazz would have, and since the hair doesn't cover the neck, i can give her that type of black turtleneck collar because it's.like . i just have to
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^^ literally just crusty scribbles on bits of scrap paper many months ago ;w;
since then i've decided on more little things like .super strong muscled dancers legs + thighs that can and have killed + nails trimmed short + calloused finger pads + catlike flexibility but im largely dooming myself bc i cant show all of those things even if i'm drawing them in a more realistic style and im so.hhdgfhdj
i'm still mostly messing with outfits as i go, though, so. thats why theyre different in every drawing but i'm generally trying to keep a similar feeling between them :,D
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z0mbi3k1d · 5 months
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Romanticizing life Part 4
Food ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀
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This is just gonna be abt healthy food swaps and things different foods can do for you, I'm not promoting Ed at all!!
Note‼️‼️
Only do these if you want to, you should enjoy your life. That means don't do food swaps all the time, treat yourself! To be honest I probably won't do any of these because I'm happy with my body and don't have too, you should be happy with yourself too!
Eating Healthy 🍓
It is important to eat healthy! It can do lots for your body, skin, and mood, I'm going to give you some healthy food swaps and tasty snacks to help!
Toxic things to get out of your head 🐇
Before I'm going to share these it's important to me that you don't use this unhealthy, stop telling yourself these things
"I need to eat healthy to loose weight"
No, you don't. All bodies are shaped different and process food differently, allergies for example. Not everyone has allergies so what makes you think everyone processes all food the same? You can still be healthy without 'looking healthy'
"I'll only eat for energy, not taste"
Man just enjoy your life 😭 I see ppl say this a lot but it doesn't make sense. Break your shell and try more foods and flavors, enjoy yourself
"I have to look like them"
Nuh uh! You're hotter 💋
Remember if you wouldn't say it to a bunny DO NOT SAY IT TO YOUR SELF‼️‼️
Food swaps 🍡
Here's some food swaps for you!
Sugary cereal ~ Oats with fruit
Ice cream ~ acai bowl
Coffee ~ matcha/Chai
Chips ~ Popcorn
White bread ~ sourdough
My personal favorite healthy foods 🧁
I'd consider myself a pretty picky eater so when it comes to healthy foods this is what I eat
I love all fruits strawberries, blueberries, bananas ect. Fruits are great bc you can do lots with them, you can make smoothies, put them in yogurt or just eat them normally
Peanut butter, okay so I'm not a huge fan but there's a lot you can do with peanut butter and you an make really healthy stuff with it
Granola, guys granola is soooo good I used to eat the bars and they had honey on them too it was so good
Honey is also good but yk
Hummus.. Lowkey feel like a nerd for saying I like it but I do. If you wanna be healthy with it you could use cucumbers!
Cucumbers>>> squash (I hate squash it's so disgusting :p)
Tuna, it has like Idk it's good for you in some ways I wasn't really listening to my father when he was talking abt it
I love nuts!! I think they're a good quick snack
I'd you don't like water get some of the flavors things, they have energy and low cal ones
Apparently dark chocolate is gold for you too sooo
Salmon is also healthy hehe >:)
Chia seeds barley taste like anything so put them in your yogurt or something
TEA TEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD
Things foods can do for you 🍮
Idk how much of this is true but I'm not gonna gatekeep just in case
Dark chocolate can
Holy crap apparently it can protect against UV rays?? 😭😭
It fights tooth decay
And it's a brain food
More brain food
Nuts
Avocados
Eggs
Chia seeds
Fruits
I'm telling you fruits are good for anything and they're sweet!!! They are perfect!!! (If you don't like fruit consider yourself an opp)
Thanks for reading!! 🩷🩷
Thanks for reading!! Have a great day, remember to eat what you want and stay happy!! I love you my sweet angels!! 🩷🩷
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amysubmits · 9 months
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Do you think a woman that has been in relationships previously that were abusive (physically, verbally, financially, emotionally or any one of the above) can ever truly submit? Or is that self-protection wall just too much of a barrier to this dynamic? The D/s dynamic is so appealing at first consideration, bc she would want to build that deep trust and have that open communication, find that place of safety that she never had.
But then her mind jumps even quicker to those thoughts of “I’m not enough”, “I’m not wanted” “I’m not desired”, the downward cascade is endless and so she hits the road for self-preservation.
In your opinion is that insurmountable?
So, disclaimer - I'm no mental health professional, just a traumatized ND person who has had psychology and therapy as an interest and hyperfixations several times in my life, and who has 5ish years of being in therapy as a client.
I wonder what you mean by 'truly submit', to be honest.
I think most people (not just women) have experienced at least a little abuse at some point in their life...and I think literally all people have experienced at least a little trauma. And abuse and other causes of trauma can definitely lead people to be unable to let go of control and/or to trust. So, I think abuse can make submission harder. I think abuse and trauma are really common causes for specific hard limits. For example, if someone had been verbally abused as a child and told they were stupid, that may have a really direct correlation with why they might make verbal degradation a hard limit. Or it can be a more vague relationship. Maybe they weren't outright called stupid or verbally abused, but they were emotionally neglected and part of that meant they were never told good things about themselves, but were criticized frequently. So they have low self esteem as a result of having their shortcomings highlighted but not having their strengths highlighted - this may cause them to be unable to tolerate being verbally degraded in a BDSM context. Different causes, but essentially the same trauma and outcome.
On the other hand...sometimes abuse or other forms of trauma makes people people-pleasers who are prone to fawning or freezing. They may have the same internal beliefs that you mentioned - I'm not good enough, I'm not wanted, etc - but rather than that leading them to avoid submission, it may make them submit in ways they shouldn't. For those people, submission may be harder because they will try to submit when they should be setting limits. These people may be misread as deeply submissive, but if they are agreeing to what their dom says out of a trauma response and not out of a true choice, then IMO, that is a big problem. So anyway...I think abuse can make D/s or BDSM hard. It can pose challenges that have to be navigated very delicately. I think it can (and should!) result in hard limits being set. Do I think it impedes 'true' submission? I don't like that 'true' word as I think it's often used to mean unhealthy things. But I don't think abuse keeps people from D/s or BDSM generally speaking. To me, submitting does not mean having as few limits as possible. Submitting means being as open and honest and vulnerable with your Dom as you can be given the amount of trust that you've built together - and submitting in the ways that you've agreed to and that are healthy for you to do so. What is healthy for one person may not be healthy for another. Being the best submissive possible is a totally personal, individual thing.
That may mean that you never submit in certain areas. If you have financial trauma, you may never submit to financial control, for example. That can be being the BEST submissive possible because it means you know your needs enough to advocate for not having your trauma triggered and that is being a great submissive, helping your dom protect you from harm. Where for someone else, learning to submit in that area might feel like their best submission. It's totally individualized.
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applepie46 · 10 months
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ex geto still being your roommate getting jealous when reader flirts with other guys infront of him, that caused a big fight between the two of them (and maybe make up sex) <3
no bc I started writing 4 this and it did't save so this is my redo bbg <3. 1/2
WARNINGS IN BOLD OCCER IN PT 2
warnings: NSFW, toxic geto, low key !stalker geto, !obsessive geto, doggy style, missionary, multiple rounds, literally smut so if u still can't tell if you don't want to see NSFW SCROLL also MDNI I will block you if your I minor and you like or repost.
You and Suguru have been friends since eighth grade, as the years wen't by and the two of you grew closer you began to fall for him. I mean who would't he was so sweet you felt like you would become diabetic. He was carrying and compassionate towards you, always making sure you were ok, and had a healthy meal every day. Shit on school days he would pack you a lunch unless you told him you were gonna go out to for lunch. He was just so... perfect. Since you two were already friends having him as your roommate was just a bonus, he already had an apartment near campus all you had to do was pay half of the rent... but even tho everything was great.
You felt horrible that you fell so hard for him, that you ruined a perfect friendship that you could never replicate because of your stupid emotions. It hurt evreytime you would feel butterflies wen he called you an endearing nickname. Or wen he would hold you close wen you watch movies on Saturday. It wasn't like this before it used to be innocently spending time withe each other. you just... could't help it.
Maybe you feel better if you knew he was the same just without the guilt . Maybe if you knew how he would steal a pair of your used panties wen he did the laundry . Or how he patiently waited for you to go to that little cafe in the morning, before he would pull them out and put them on his face. How he'd get off to the idea of you catching him jerk off with them wrapped around his cock, or watching him cum in the center pretending it was your pussy. But those were nothing but daydreams he would never never let you find out about his little "Daydreams" not even after you started dating.
BOYFRIEND ERA!!!
Wen you two began dating everything felt perfect.You no longer had to hide your feelings you could just love all over him, and he did the same to you. He cooked, and cleaned for you. Never made you fell alone of not loved.He just made you so happy who would ever want to leave. So what he got a little possessive after a bit that's normal. Who cares if he gets overprotective time to time over a couple months that's completely normal in a relationship. Or if he gets mad wen you talk and smile at the waiter "too much". Or slowly try to pull you away from your friends and family saying "I just want to spend more quality time with you can't you cancel some plans" wen you question him, but it's ok that's normal wen you get serious in a relationship...right?
POOKIE I PROMISE I'LL HAVE PT 2 OUT SOON LOVE YA!<3
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lingy910y · 25 days
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Weekly Tag Wednesday
tagged by @energievie & @deedala
name: ling
zodiac sign: virgo (that post says my updated sign is leo but shh we don't speak of it)
how many trips have you made around the sun? 13 days before i'm 18. i'm having an early birthday party with my family tho bc it's hard to get my mom's and my schedule lined up
what time is it where you are right now? 2:44 pm
what is the candy you wish you were eating right now? none of them
would you rather swim in a swimming pool or a natural body of water? pool ig bc i cannot swim
what's the last thing you ate? croissant, a cup of low fat vanilla yogurt, 5 orange slices, and 1 grape (i brought 3 but ngl i don't think grapes taste good anymore </3) an actual healthy breakfast for a college student wow
find the closest book, what's the last two words on the last page of the last chapter? "short poems" for my journal in creative writing class. we were supposed to write abt our experiences and expectations and i felt comfortable enough to say i write fics online and made friends from it (yet another person will know my dark secret 😔💔) funny enough i accidentally wrote on the last page but then copied it on the first page (honestly i still don't know which is the front or back) so technically you can read the same words but erased on the last page
what's the last scene of shameless that you've watched? youtube says it's the "'cause you're my husband" scene. idk if i even watched it in full but i've spent too long going through my watch history so i'm gonna go with it
what's the next song you're going to listen to? probably cleopatra from aristos: the musical, i'm so obsessed that i put it in my instagram notes
what scent is your body soap? i think it's triple oat?
what does your pillowcase look like? pink with palm trees and the words "sheng yu qin shi" on top and white on the bottom
when's the last time you did laundry? today bc i got my period 😬 i just finished folding the clothes and putting the fitted sheet on the mattress which i need endless amounts of praise on btw cause my muscles were working overtime
what does the sky look like where you are now? i can't rly see outside my window but sunny and blue
go drink some water and put any emoji here to denote completion of this task: 😁
was the name of the earliest childhood teacher that you can remember? mr. wilson my 3rd grade math teacher
tagging @michellemisfit, @mybrainismelted, @reganmian, @jademickian, @blue-disco-lights
@burninface, @iansw0rld, @sgtmickeyslaughter, @mmmichyyy, @gallapiech
& @heymrspatel
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