#I know people don’t use the quotes for these

[floral-cavern]

So.. Sarcastic Chorus has retired from doing Helluvaverse content. This is a huge blow to the series. If you somehow don’t know, Sarcastic Chorus is the Helluvaverse YouTuber. He’s done so many analysis videos, it’s kind of part of his brand in the same way FNAF is associated with MatPat. The fact that Chorus left the shows is crazy, but, honestly, it’s just a testament to how bad this show has been getting.

This is the view count for the first three episodes for seasons 1 and 2

And if you think that’s bad, look at the difference between the season finales for each season

(I know technically Ozzie’s isn’t the season finale, but Queen Bee doesn’t count because of how long it took to come out)

People are tired of the show focusing on the wrong things. I seriously recommend Chorus’s video, it has so many good points. And one point I really want to talk about is Stolas.

I talk a lot about the bad writing in the show in general and how I don’t like Stolas, but I just want to say, I don’t like him anymore. I used to really like his character.. but season 2 completely ruined him for me because they refuse to acknowledge that he has any flaws. Rather than tell “we know Stolitz has flaws on both sides of the relationship, both will work on that,” instead, it’s all just Blitzo. They’ve spent 3 whole episodes just shitting on Blitzo, when… where’s that same treatment for Stolas? Stolas is a classist, racist, rapist. But the show seems to just… forget this. They’re backpedaling so hard, I'm surprised they haven’t fallen off the bike.

I used to find Stolas an interesting character and I was so excited to see where they would take his flaws and mistakes. Like, think about it. Stolas is completely naive, having been sheltered his whole life. The only concept for genuine intimacy he has comes from erotica. Of course he’s going to have a skewed idea of what sex is like when the only sex he’s ever had is with Stella, who, and I quote, “just lays there staring at the wall” where Stella has to do all the work. Ya… that is fucked and a form of sexual abuse, just like what Stolas does to Blitzo. So, I was interested to see where they would take this cycle of abuse that Stolas is so accustomed to and how they were going to have him break it. How was Stolas going to learn his idea of intimacy is wrong?

Well… he doesn’t. Not really. He does realize this transaction is wrong, but, when he tells this all to Blitzo and when Blitzo doesn’t have the reaction he wants, Stolas throws a fucking tantrum. He walks away and refuses to let Blitzo speak, he denies having ever done anything wrong, says that Blitzo was the one who always makes things about sex when that is NOT TRUE. And the worst part? The show treats Stolas like he’s right. They never do anything to show us that Stolas is a hypocrite, instead, like I said earlier, only punishing Blitzo. And don’t even pull the “he was banished” card! Stolas was not being punished for being a neglectful father, or for being an abusive partner. He was being punished… for a heroic sacrifice. He was being banished because Andre doesn’t like him and everyone is mean to Stolas so we have to feel so bad for him, guys!

I just… I started to have my doubts for the show around Full Moon, but I wanted to stick with the show. I liked Apology Tour, but did find it a bit weird that Stolas was being woobied, but I just assumed it was because the next episode, Stolas would be the one receiving the punishing. But the next episode.. WAS ANOTHER HATE ON BLITZO EPISODE. So I told myself, boy I told myself, that the next episode will be focusing on Stolas’s flaws, on Stolas’s part on why this relationship didn’t work. AND THEY DIDN��T FUCKING DO THAT STILL. In fact, Mastermind was just full of Stolas unnecessarily insulting Blitzo, calling him an idiot and whatnot. Like.. GIVE THIS GUY A BREAK, HOLY FUCK. WE GET IT.

This show has gotten so fucking infuriating. Good on Chorus for leaving. Me, personally? I’m going to keep watching, out of curiosity and because I hate myself, but if the show gets anymore infuriating, I may just leave. Because this show is so non-self aware with its black and white writing while it tries so damn hard to have a moral high horse.

So, actually, no. Not ‘fuck Stolas’. Fuck the writers for being so blind to the kinds of behaviors they are endorsing and encouraging with him.

[contemplatingoutlander]

The original Washington Post article is well worth reading. It focuses on struggling white, working class residents of New Castle, PA. What is most astonishing (and sad) about the quotes from some of these people in the original article, is how deeply Trump and right-wing media conned them.

“He is more attuned to the needs of everyone instead of just the rich,” [Lori] Mosura, 55, said on a recent afternoon. “I think he knows it’s the poor people that got him elected, so I think Trump is going to do more to help us.”

“We helped get you in office; please take care of us,” Mosura said, shifting the conversation as though she were speaking to Trump. “Please don’t cut the things that help the most vulnerable.”

“It’s not cutting government programs, it’s cutting the amount of people needed to run a program,” [Steve Tillia] said. “They are cutting staff, which could actually increase the amount of the programs that we get.”

“You can’t wipe out half of the population” of New Castle, [Kathy] Davis said. “We are old and tired and just want to be taken care of, and Trump has too much common sense, so I don’t think he is going to do anything to hurt us.” [emphasis added]

A Portrait of the People Quoted Above

*Lori Mosura (age 55) "goes to the grocery store on a bicycle because she can’t afford to fix her Ford F-150 truck. The single mother and her 17-year-old son live in an apartment that is so small she sleeps in the dining room. They receive $1,200 each month in food stamps and Social Security benefits but still come up short. Mosura said she often must decide whether to buy milk or toilet paper." **Steve Tillia (age 59) "receives $1,600 a month in Social Security disability payments and $300 in food stamps to support himself and his son. Tillia, who said he is unable to work after suffering from mini strokes, still drives around New Castle with a Trump flag anchored on the bumper of his SUV."

***Kathy Davis is "a retired artist, subsists on a monthly $1,300 Social Security payment and $75 in food stamps. She rents her studio apartment for $385 per month. Asked whether she worries that Trump’s agenda could hurt the poor, Davis said the incoming president is 'too smart for that.'” [emphasis added]

The original WaPo article by Tim Craig is worth reading. Below is a link to a copy on the Internet Archive.

New Castle, Pennsylvania, on Dec. 19. (Jeff Swensen for The Washington Post)

____________________ Note that three different photos were cropped from the article for the portraits; the inset in Tillia's photo was added to provide part of the cropped out larger photo. Formatting was changed for descriptions under the photos and asterisks were added.

From low-income voters who supported Donald Trump last month, a plea to the president-elect: don’t cut our benefits.

Trump has frequently made grand promises to protect Social Security, Medicare and other benefits. But with a growing list of billionaires on his cabinet, a vow to quell spending and a slim Republican coalition in Congress consisting of some anti-spending hawks, his voters aren’t so sure.

Pennsylvania Trump voter Lori Mosura described the billionaire as “more attuned to the needs of everyone instead of just the rich” in an interview with the Washington Post. She lives below the poverty line, receiving $1,200 a month in food stamps and Social Security benefits.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

I’m in two minds about lesbian history when it comes to thinks like coding , terms , flagging etc etc etc

On the one hand I think we have a very rich history that’s worth learning about , especially when aspects of it are still used to today. Even if people can sometimes pick and choose which parts they want to follow through with.

And yeah it can sometimes be frustrating when lots of people are horribly wrong about things they talk about it and don’t want to listen.

However I think this expectation we place on the community as a whole to know allllll the history, lingo and whatnot in a round about way is sort of homophobic, or othering. People saying “you aren’t really a lesbian if you don’t know or do XYZ” is bad I think. It opens up a can of worms to make sexuality so ouch more then it is. It’s othering in a way and sort of defeats the purpose of what has been worked so hard for.

Our history and what has been built from it IS important. But at the same time it’s not allllll black and white. There are so many instances of people taking and moulding that history into something new even during the times people are quoting said history from. It really just depends on the person.

To denounce someone’s lesbianism or be disappointed in them for not knowing something is counterproductive in my eyes. We aren’t our lingos, terms or community. We are just homosexuals women. Nothing more to it. Adding more pressure on yourself and others to replicate the past is just a disservice I think. Nothing wrong with doing it because it resonates or because you are passionate about - I mean most of my page is dedicated to sharing lesbian history lolol - but weighing yourself down by the “need” to in order or validate the lesbianism of yourself or others, or to prove something to yourself or others, takes so much away from the simple joys of just being attracted to women.

[sapphiresaphics]

The reason why I keep bringing up media literacy and bad faith criticisms is because of things like this. Follow along if you can!

^^^———

I saw this post the other day where this person suggested that the reason Vi didn’t get as much character development was because the writers didn’t know what to do with her. That’s a pretty bold statement to make. I’ve certainly not heard any of the writers express that opinion at all. So where did this idea come from? What interview provided us with that look behind the scenes?

Luckily someone asked for a source, and they obliged! And my friends… this gets weirder…

The “source” ends up being this game journalism article:

This is an entire article dedicated to basically interpreting, reframing, and summarizing…. A tweet.

A single tweet by Christian Linke.

An entire article that took his response to a question WAY out of proportion and infused it with more meaning than was intended.

Here’s the original tweet. A user ask’s about VI’s character being less prominent, and his response is basically “we had a lot of characters” which is true. There were a lot of characters to squeeze in appropriate amounts of time for. Vi included. Here’s the original tweet:

It’s really not much at all, is it? This isn’t him admitting they didn’t know what to do with her, or that they abandoned her storyline or anything like that. All he said was there were a lot of characters and as a result Vi got a little less screen time as a matter of fact. Nothing more, nothing less.

But here’s how the game article summarized things:

^^^———

So do you see what I’m getting at here? A fan asks a reasonable question, and Linke gives a very straightforward answer. This is picked up and interpreted by the games journalist reporter and given far greater weight that it deserves, including a flashy headline. People see this and add even MORE of their own personal biases and exaggerated opinions and spread that around… and before long that innocent tweet somehow is “proof they didn’t know what to do with Vi and that’s why her arc was reduced to X thing I didn’t like!”

Swirling around Season 2 of Arcane is this weird game of telephone where with each step of the journey the original message is getting lost and distorted and twisted around. Unfortunately when a quote is this ambiguous, it leaves it open to interpretation. I’ve seen this same tweet be used to explain why every character had “bad writing.”

And the games journalist isn’t technically wrong in their coverage… after all, all they did was post the tweet and then re-summarize the same tweet. But by taking what the fan asked and twisting it into “Arcane lead explains why Vi felt like a side character” as an article headline, they’ve distorted the original interaction and infused it with this twinge of negativity designed to get you angry enough to click on the article.

Arcane Season 2 had a lot of story to tell with a lot of characters. As a result Vi’s screen time was slightly reduced. Doesn’t matter that out of all the characters she has the most screen time across both seasons. Nothing about acknowledging that as a simple fact explains motivations behind the writing of her arc in season 2 at all. It says nothing about her pitfighter phase, her relationship with Caitlyn, or her final battle fight with Jinx and Warwick. But if you were already critical of season 2, this gives you a plausible air of credibility for whatever “reasons” you think they did what they did. And then you just spread this fabrication to the internet where it just snowballs out of control.

So much of the negativity surrounding Arcane Season 2 is the result of this game of telephone and it’s really starting to bother me. And when you label overblown garbage like this as “arcane critical” then I genuinely believe you’re doing this on purpose and you don’t have an original thought in your body. You’re not being critical, you’re just letting your ignorance and biases control everything. This is bad faith argument construction at it’s worst.

[toni-robyn]

I take it that you live in the USA, do me a favour and realise one thing….not once have I mentioned people of colour…you have. For all you know I might be texting you from Zimbabwe or Russia. I might be black for all you know. I don’t see or judge people because of the colour of their skin, I am not a racist and I have lots of white, black, coloured who I call friends. I judge people on how they treat others so it doesn’t matter to me if you are black, white, pink, yellow, green, blue, indigo or violet. You have red blood running through your veins, capable of rational thought.

Have you seen 1st hand racial violence?….i have and it’s sickening, I have seen and witnessed ethnic groups and tribes hate each other for no reason other than the fact they can and believe that each other are not human.

You on the other hand, the way you come across, sound like a total ignorant racist!!!!

When it comes to the countries in Africa, unless you have actually lived there and experienced life there as I have for over 35 years then please zip your lips. Quoting to me about what other people have said means nothing, you need to live and experience life in the real world, have no food, no clothing, no employment and no money, no shelter let alone a house!!!

The same applies to the Middle East conflict. Read and learn your history about Israel, the Palestinian people and how they have been used and brainwashed to be totally anti Semitic. Arab countries such as Iraq, Yemen, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Libya and especially Iran have sworn to annihilate Israel not just off the map but to kill every single living Jew in the world. You probably owe your existence to Israel, they have contributed so much to the world since 1947 in science, biology, horticulture, technology, human rights and such. They are the current leaders in having people winning various Nobel prizes. They are the only country in the Middle East that has accepted people of any religion and are free to practice their faith without fear. There is no racial, sexual discrimination. You cannot say that for any Arab state. Most Arabs say they would love to live in Israel but just follow the propaganda of their government to avoid being imprisoned or having their heads cut off. Lebanon, Jordan and Egypt have so much to thank Israel for, they know it, so they keep neutral as much as possible. Israel controls the Golan Heights for a very specific reason, that’s where all the water for Jordan, Israel and Syria stems from. Syria had control but Israel took control because they were threatening to cut the supply to Jordan, Israel and would have wrecked the supply to their own country. Israel allows water to run freely into all these countries and the world accuses them of genocide.

Hamas and Hezbollah are terrorist organisations who want nothing more than to kill all Jews in any way possible, they have sworn to die in trying to kill Jewish people because they have being brainwashed in believing that the Jewish nation are nothing but scum and cockroaches and are to blame for everything that is bad or has gone bad in the world.

It boggles me to see you write down that you support terrorists, blood thirsty murderers who kill without cause or justification and please don’t say it’s because the Jews treat them so badly or kicked them out of their homeland. The peoples of Palestine were nomadic wonderers up until about the 1800’s when they lived in peace with the Jews who were living together in the land now called Israel. When Israel claimed independence in 1947, they offered 70% of the land to the Palestines…they refused. Land has been offered to the people of Palestine on 5 different occasions and every time it was rejected. All the aid sent into Gaza currently m, virtually all of it comes free from Israel. It is pillaged by the Hamas and sold to Palestinians for money they do not have and yet it’s meant to be free supplies to all. This includes medical help as well. It’s a well known documented fact that the UN have pro Hamas people working for them, some of them are known and wanted terrorists. Go figure!!

What did the Jewish nation do to warrant 6million citizens being wiped off the face of the earth in WW2, what did the Jewish nation do to be murdered, raped in the Russian pogroms in the 18th and 19th century, what did the Jewish nation do to be under the cosh of the Spanish Inquisition where hundreds of thousands if not millions of Jews along with thousands of innocent people were tortured to death and burnt alive at the stake. Through the centuries, the Jews have been persecuted, murdered and blamed for virtually every atrocity in the world and have been killed for it. October 7th, the nation said “NO MORE” babies were beheaded, children raped and sodomised, families wiped out. Not even animals do that.

As much as you are for and support known terrorist organisations, support their brutal campaigns of murder and destruction, I support Israel and their struggle to survive and to live free and in peace.

You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to, but go through the history, research and find out.

98% of all wars in Africa are tribal, black against black….no whites, coloureds, Indians or any nation were involved. All political wars in Africa stem from unsolved tribal conflicts which have hit out of hand. One side always asks for help from foreign governments and in return they offer the countries mineral wealth as payment….you don’t believe me, but look at Zambia, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Congo….the Chinese have virtually taken over, all because they supplied the puppet government with weapons. The exact same thing has started in South America and South Africa.

[sonofcelluloid]

Sonofcelluloid’s Top 30(ish) Favorite Devil’s Minion Fics:

In no particular order, this list only includes finished works that are relatively canon compliant (I’ll be making separate lists for AUs and fics in progress.) Anything in italics is a direct quote from the fic or its description. Please remember to check tags and ratings before reading.

You’ll Always Be My Favorite Ghost by lestatslestits: Tales of Armand’s turbo autism as Daniel gets to know and love him. This one is so sweet and had me laughing my ass off.

outcast of all this night by gaypiratedivorce: Modern Devil’s Minion fic of all time. Rewired my brain. "I mean, I don't know how you guys did it in Renaissance Italy, but most people this century get to at least second base before wearing each other's blood around our necks." There’s a part 2: my aid against the boredom of the eternal where they finally hook up. And honestly every fic from this author is a banger.

I’d Break the Back of Love for You by kurow: 70s Armandaniel. A rescue and a sick fic wrapped in one, and I’m a sucker for both.

Like That by GrayGiantess: Fluffy 70s Armandaniel. A tooth achingly sweet first kiss fic, featuring Twinkie’s. Again, every fic from this author is a banger.

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by trinityofone: Daniel sees a wild vision during his turning. “I deserve this,” Armand said. His hold on Daniel’s throat was almost a caress. “After what I’ve been through, I deserve something of my own, don’t I?”

make a home from a rented house by sleepdeprivedsurgeon: Daniel realizes Armand has never really had a room of his own before. Armand slowly builds his own safe place. Super fluffy autistic Armand stuff. Domestic vampire polycule bonus.

the spiral is unspooling by reedroad: Armand helps Daniel recover their Devil’s Minion years via old video tapes they filmed of their meetings. Absolutely heart wrenching and wonderful and charming and had some of the most jaw dropping plot twists I’ve ever experienced in a DM fic. The last chapter absolutely floored me and rewired my brain forever. May be my #1 fav.

forever’s gonna start tonight by trinityofone: Hate fucking with a happy ending:) Sort of a soulmate fic as well. “I fucking hate you. And you hate me. So something is making us do this.” “I don’t hate you,” Armand pants. “You mean nothing to me. Don't stop.”

care and keeping by katplanet: A surprisingly tender guide for how to step on your boyfriend. Bonus Danlou. Smutty and fluffy and freakayyy. GREAT dialogue. Very funny as well.

hell is: by cannibalenthusiast: Another turning fic. Post Dubai blowout, Armand and Daniel bond over martinis, breakups, and a Survivor marathon. They bang about it. Great ending.

5 Times Daniel Molloy Imagined Killing Marius de Romanus (+1 Time He Actually Did It) by platoapproved: This one is genuinely a masterpiece. Probably my #2 fav. Lots of protective Daniel, some really cool and original vampire-lore stuff, Louis and Lestat being beautifully supportive along with other new side characters. Armand finally gets to process his abuse among allies. A really touching Lestat subplot as well. HEAVY trigger warnings for all Marius related assaults, but obviously we get to watch him die horribly to make up for it:) Absolute banger of an ending, totally sticks the landing.

lesson three: parasitic infections by kanxie: 70s Armandaniel. Armand picks out Alice as a third and does NOT like the way the night progresses. What unfolds is some of the CRAZIEST psychosexual (emphasis on psycho) gremlin Armand shit I’ve ever seen in a fic. So perfectly Armand. Short and sweet, sad ending.

open up your skull, i’ll be there by Anonymous: First time fic. Armand dipped after Daniel’s turning and when he shows up again Daniel ain’t letting him leave. “Your blood is my blood,” Daniel says, and Armand does not flinch. “It’s your blood getting me hard. Your blood that’s pumping through me.” Armand licks his lips, and still doesn’t move. “Please. Armand, Armand, please.” “Beg for it.” “I am begging for it, this is what begging looks like —”

Disintegration by lilacaisle: Daniel goes crazy when Armand locks him in the apartment and tries to burn himself with a cigarette so it will feel like being bitten🙈 Armand does BDSM about it. This one’s actually book Armandaniel but I didn’t notice it until like the third read because it fits show Armandaniel so perfectly.

baby, cry baby by Babeblox: Daniel seeks out Lestat for an interview after Louis’ attack, but he’s being haunted by someone else. Canon divergence. This one legit made me cry. Dark but very sweet. Wild ending, very fun.

get in my mind (do you see my heart?) by Marenke: 70s Armandaniel, Armand character study. Armand is pretty sure he and Daniel have never had a problem a little brainwashing couldn’t fix. SICK AND TWISTEDDDDD (affectionate).

The Importance of Being Armand by Siria: Daniel and Armand talk about the power of naming. "If you can imagine a different set of possibilities for me as a vampire, ever think of what you could come up with for yourself, if you put your mind to it?"

Bumpin' That (Bumpin' That Bumpin' That Bumpin' That) by TheAngelsAreWatching: Daniel and Lestat are fuck buddies. They are on a tour bus a la Word Tour. They do coke. They try to bang. And then Armand stops time and walks in. Armandaniel fuck crazy style. Pure filth (affectionate).

Run, Arun! by TheNightColors: Autistic Armand, character study. Daniel learns it was considered a “crime” to turn Armand due to his “mental retardation”. Armand explains what it was like to be an autistic child in the sixteenth century, and an autistic adult for 500 years after. Heavy stuff. Trigger warning for all things relating to Amadeo’s past and for the internalized ableism instilled in Armand by his upbringing.

a haunting just for company by valkyrisms: Post Dubai blowout but pre Daniel’s turning, Armand crashes on Daniel’s couch. A modern Devil’s Minion fic for the ages. These weirdos love each other so bad. Some really memorable tender scenes. This one’s a fan favorite. “You’re fond of me.” “You’re a nuisance.”

The Company of Monsters by ruiqi: A full deconstruction of Marius’ abuse from Armand’s pov as he struggles to keep old patterns from repeating with Daniel. Overall I think this is the most realistic depiction of what it would be like for Armand to come to terms with his abuse in the modern day, especially regarding Daniel’s involvement. He’s totally out of his depth but wants so badly to help. This one made me SOB. It’s honestly a really tough read, but beautifully done. “You said, last night, that he wanted an angel,” says Daniel, “but no one's an angel, Armand. That wasn't fair to you. Besides, who would want an angel when they could have you?” “No,” Armand says. “No, you can’t say that.” “You can’t fucking stop me,” says Daniel. And it isn’t tagged, but this one is incredible autistic Armand representation. Probably my #3 fav.

Smart Boy by heliza24: Just a really good 70s Devil’s Minion era explanation of the events leading up to Armand’s decision to take Daniel’s memories away. Quite a bit of infidelity stuff in this one. Also delves a lot into Daniel’s family history, and an emotional affair is established between them long before they actually hook up. Very emotional. Heartbreaking last chapter.

We Dared Eternity and Won by faerywhimsy: A 70s Devil’s Minion era telling of the four good years they had before everything imploded. Louis has somewhat of a distant obsession with Daniel in this and so is very involved in Armand’s decisions regarding him. Favorite scene is when Armand saves Daniel from a hotel fire and the near loss devastates him because it makes him realize he’s in love with Daniel.

reprise. by SheOfBadIdeas: In Dubai, Daniel demands Armand show him the memories he stole. Armand relays the tale of their romance, but Daniel is begrudged to give Armand the satisfaction of giving in to it. That doesn’t last long;)

Waiting by bandedbulbussnarfblat: 70s fic. Daniel is living with Alice and hasn’t seen Armand in two months. He gets a call from Armand, who just got a proposal from Marius asking him to be his companion again. “I told him I couldn't go back. That I was waiting for you.” Daniel sucks in a sharp breath. Fuck. Armand's voice sounds almost wet, strained and raspy. He finally sounds as vulnerable as Daniel always wanted to see him be. “Should I keep waiting for you, Daniel?” (It’s just banger after banger with this author too.)

The Monster of my Memories by GrayGiantess: In Dubai, Daniel has just remembered his relationship with Armand and he’s PISSED. Armand gladly reminds him he’s waited 40 years for Daniel, he doesn’t mind waiting a little while more, and he’s not so sure Daniel has the same conviction🙈 Phenomenal subby old man Daniel material.

Delicate Machinery by Lilac Tinsel: An in depth look at the 70s love affair that neither man ever saw coming, in all its complicated glory. Really dives into the psychological consequences of Armand’s constant rejections. Amazing take on what the actual memory alteration would look like. The part that broke me: “I’m sorry for– for all of it. I didn’t realize how much I took. I just… wanted to stop thinking for a moment.” Armand blinks slowly and his eyebrows knit together. His voice is small but steady. “Did you take the drugs so you wouldn’t feel me anymore?”

You Taste Like Suburbia by CannibalGender: This is the only unfinished work I’m putting on this list because it’s so fucking good as is and gave me chills when I read it. It’s the 80s, Armand, famously normal about his partners' families, haunts the Molloys. I absolutely love Alice in this. Paints such an intriguing picture of what these years might have looked like from an “outside” pov.

Two parter I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out and Oh dear diary, I met a boy by weathermood: Loumandaniel in Dubai, set just after the season 1 finale. Asks, what if Daniel doesn’t want to remember? An exploration of identity while Louis and Armand try to persuade Daniel to allow his memories of their past relationship to be restored. Explores dreams and memories beautifully and with delightful humor. Classic unhinged Armand.

138 lbs, for the metrically challenged by hummingbeeoOo: Fluffy and funny. After Daniel’s turning and subsequent hunting down of his maker, they’re shacked up and happier than ever, but a little something from the interview has kept nagging at Daniel. Or: there is exactly zero way a beanpole like Armand weighed a measly 62.5 kilograms a day in his adult life. The end of this fic had me kicking my feet and giggling. This whole series is great tbh.

This list is my pride and joy. Thank you to the anon who asked for recs<3 Feel free to share your own favorites in the reblogs:)

[watarfallar]

*staring off into the distance remembering how 3rd Life ended* Oh, you're here too. Huh? Incorrect quotes? Oh yeah, here, have these. *continues to stare off into the distance*

Scar: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons? Grian: Fake?

Grian: You can’t have a gun on stage! Scar: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

Scar: "29-34 Give a particular ecosystem and explain how could it be protected." Scar: Help. Grian: Forests, stop cutting down trees and don't hold gender reveal parties anywhere near them.

Scar: I intend to stay pissed at you forever. Scar: Even if I seem helpful. Grian: Then you're in luck. Grian: Because you don't.

Grian: Scar is forbidden from monologuing.

Grian: Help! I’m drowning! Scar: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Grian: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Scar: I trusted you! Grian: Why?

Scar: Where did you get that tomato soup? Grian: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Scar: Grian, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Grian, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Grian: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Scar is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

Grian: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Scar: Grian: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Grian: You know me, Scar, I don’t take any shit. You know what I say to my haters? Scar: What? Grian: I say: “Please don’t hate me, I’m really nice.”

Grian: Do you need anything from the store? Scar: Actually, yes. I have a list. Grian, reading: Epsom salts, coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch, lavender essential oils… citric acid…? Scar: I’m making homemade bath bombs. Grian: Smokeless gunpowder?! Scar: I want to do it right!

Grian: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon. Scar: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic. Grian: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

Scar: Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely! Grian: With NAPALM.

Grian: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Scar: I boiled gatorade.

Scar: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Grian: What? Scar: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Grian: Whatever happened to the concept of less is more? Scar: But if less is more, then just think of how much more 'more' will be!

Scar: Hey, Grian, where are you going? Grian: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell. Grian: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

Scar: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Grian and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Grian.

Scar: You’re starting to look like me more and more every day— Grian: Bursts into tears Scar: Why are you crying? Grian: You’re ugly! I don’t want to look like you! sobs

Grian and Scar enter a dive bar Grian: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink. Scar, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

Grian: I am a ninja. Scar: No, you’re not. Grian: Did you see me do that? Scar: Do what? Grian: Exactly.

Grian: I feel like everyone on this island is suspicious, Scar. Except you! Scar: But Grian, I think you're suspicious! Grian: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Scar: Cool, any other secrets? Grian: I still sleep with the blanket I had as a baby. Scar: Awww- Grian, stern: I use it as a gag when taking people’s pets hostage. Scar: Scar: There’s no punch line ‘cause it’s not a joke isn’t it?

Grian: So what are your political beliefs? Scar, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

Grian: I try to avoid pointless group activities. You know like school Christmas Parties or Jury Duty. To me, the most awful sound in the universe is that mangled first note of your peers singing happy birthday. Scar: Cool stance. Counterpoint: these are free cupcakes. Get over yourself and take one.

[k3nz1ekorn]

Jayvik actor au

A short fic about if Jayce and Viktor were actors Joel and Vladamir in another univers. Author's note: credits are at the bottom of the post. I'll be writing more for this au as it comes to me ig.

“Let us do this once again…as partners!”

The silence fills the room as ‘Viktor’ grins down at ‘Jayce', his heart beats once, then twice, and he bursts into a fit of laughter, forehead falling onto his counterpart’s. Joel lets out a deep sigh from below him, and Viktor pulls back to give him a wide grin before turning his head to face the rest of the room. He raises a hand in apology, looking a little sheepish in his fits of laughter “Pfft- Sorry! Sorry everyone! Are we sure this is meant to be a fight scene?” As his laughter subsides he untangles his legs from where they are around Joel and leans himself back onto the table, careful to avoid jostling the green morph suit he’s donned in. The back of his hand coming up to try to stifle his laughter. It’s through barely open eyes that he sees Joel push himself up as well, giving a light stretch to his back after the uncomfortable position he was just held in. He shuffles around to face Vlad from the floor, looking up at him with a face he unfortunately knows all too well at this point.

“CUT!” The director yells, letting out an exasperated sigh. They break their shared look to give the man their full attention as he walks onto the set, “Alright let’s take a break and meet back in ten!” Turning to them he gives a pointed look, “Vlad, please be ready to actually finish the scene this time, hmm?” A bell rings and the room buzzes to life, people putting down equipment, conversations starting up, and Vlad finally looking back towards Joel, who looks wholly unamused by the situation. The director turns to walk away, intentionally ignoring the words that follow.

“I’m literally wrapped around him, like we all see that right?” Vlad says, hand gesturing lazily over to his…coworker. Yeah. Let's go with that. He shifts to accept a bottle of water from a staff member, mumbling a quick thank you before bringing his good leg up onto the table he sat on and resting an arm over his knee. His eyes fall back to Joel as he takes a drink of water. The other man is still sitting on the floor, now lazily leaning back onto his arms.

“V, if you keep this up they’re gonna get us an intimacy coordinator. And I don’t think I need to tell you that we do not need an intimacy coordinator.” He let a hand come up to rub his eyes in frustration at the thought. They’d been dating since the end of the first season, in private might he add, and the idea of having to tell anyone about their status because of this just felt like a hassle. “I get you’re giddy at the idea of more…touchy feely scenes, but you need to get it together here yeah?” He lifted his hand to look back at his partner, exasperation clear on his face. Truth be told he didn’t hate having to reshoot this scene, but the growing frustration of the rest of the cast and crew was not lost on him. Especially with this being the third or fourth try today alone. It was getting ridiculous to say the least.

“I know Joel I’m sorry, it’s just different! We were touchy in the first season, sure, but this is a lot different! The producer keeps telling us it’s platonic, brotherly and shit,” Vlad actively let a look of disgust come over his face as a light shiver went down his spine. “but I can’t act platonically with these scenes they're giving us.” He accentuates with a wave of his hand, spilling from his still open bottle before recaps it and sets it down beside him. “Plus I’m not ‘Giddy’ as you say,” he quotes the word with some playfulness, “I just think the relationship isn’t going to come off how they think, is all. It feels like I should lean into the romance, y'know?”

 Joel nods in understanding at that, while in the first season it was more up in the air for how they were meant play their characters, it definitely felt like a line had been crossed with the new scripting, all the love and banter of the first season with a new aura of…something more. Something that he personally would describe as romantic. He says his next words with a hint of a smile. “Then lean into it. If they don’t like it they’ll make us reshoot it and we’ll know that’s not the vision they want, end of story. If they don’t?” he shrugs and raises an eyebrow. He knows his partner understands what he’s getting at, he’s being extremely obvious after all. “No harm in just eh…testing a theory?” The last line gets him a light chuckle and grin from Vlad, who looks back at him with fondness and amusement. Vlad says his next words with a light shake of his head.

“I suppose you’re right, and isn’t that what got us cast in the first place? Playing the characters how we interpreted them?” He takes another sip from his water and gives his legs a quick stretch. Their break is almost over after all, it’ll be time to get back to it. “Besides, they don’t have to know that’s how I’m playing it, right? Those that get it will get it and those that don’t…are hopefully the executive producer.” He starts to slide off the table, the thin fabric doing little to keep the cold of the floor from reaching his feet. Joel moves to stand and takes the bottle from Vlad, quickly getting it off the set before the director calls them back. 

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Filming had wrapped up for the day, thankfully for both of them, and they were now on their way back home for the night. Or to Vlad’s home specifically. Joel’s driver had put up the privacy curtain not long after the trip had started, it was routine. About as routine as taking the turns he had grown accustomed to over the last…however long it had been, 10 months? A year? They’d only been together a year and a half but this had become regular quite a while before that, during the second half of their filming for season one actually. They hadn’t seen a reason for Joel to keep renting a place out here for filming when Vlad had an apartment so close to set. They could commute together to and from work, make sure the other ate proper meals off set, and even run lines. At least that’s what Vlad had said when he suggested it back then, in fact it’s still the excuse they use when people question them on why they take the same car to and from nearly all the same places every day. That it’s just more convenient. Most don’t believe that, but they don’t mind the speculation. The car ride is comfortable after the long day they’d had, especially once Vlad had gotten it together in the ‘fight’ scene they had. 

Joel was leant up against the door, head in his hand as he watched Vlad talk from his seat in the car. And oh boy was he talking. The corner of his mouth curled slightly as he listened intently, watching the others hands fly about as he went on.

“I can’t believe none of them picked up on the tone change. None! My mood, my facial expression, the way I was wrapped around you and still nothing!” Vlad had indeed decided to lean into the romantic tone they’d talked about previously for the scene, and as predicted it went off without a hitch. The rest of their scenes together that day had been only a few takes, including mess ups from other cast and crew. Joel easily caught one of his waving hands to gingerly bring it to his lips before placing it between them. Vlad instinctively closed his hand around the others, giving a gentle squeeze unknowingly. Joel gave his partner a blank stare.

“I hardly think nobody could tell. Did you see Viola? She was practically in the end frame on that last take, probably would have been if Cathrin wasn’t holding her back. She’s been waiting for us to start giving into the romantic angle more.” He paused to give a chuckle as the other man’s head turned to watch him speak, “And I do mean waiting, you remember during season one? The ‘crank it’ scene? Or when we were filming the opening scene for the season? We had to redo it three times because you could hear her outbursts in the background every time I so much as looked at you!” He let a smile creep up his face as he remembered. When they had initially gotten together they had of course told a few of their on screen friends, knowing it would be hard to keep something like this from them. Naturally a few of them had pushed for the men to let their off screen romance bleed into the way they portrayed their characters. 

“Yes yes yes, but the director? The producers? The ones who kept telling me to tone it down, dial it back? Them? No idea!” Vlad said in excitement. It was also true that in previous scenes they’d made it a bit too obvious that their intentions were to make the relationship romantic and a few of the wrong people had caught on. But how else were they meant to interpret it? ‘It was affection that held us together’? Really? Joel let out a small chuckle at the memory before turning his attention back to his counterpart. 

“I suppose so V, though I don’t think it’s too hard to fool them. Especially given how they literally wrote the damn thing with zero idea of how romantic it actually was.” he gazed at the other man from his seat opposite to him. Vlad, noticing the silence, also turned to look back. He gave a wide smile, eyes crinkling as he squeezed their hands tighter. The driver was close to his complex now. Joel blinked as another thought crossed his mind, “Although I must say, for a fight scene it was very…suggestive. I can’t say we haven’t been in positions quite similar to that.” a slightly darker tone overtaking him as he leaned in a bit. Vlad easily caught onto what the other was suggesting, and he moved his head closer to whisper back.

 “I must say I don’t know what you mean by that.” He smirked, eyes darting down to the others lips before moving back up to his eyes, his head tilting ever so slightly, “Though I wouldn’t be against a…reminder? Or two perhaps, hmm?” Joel moved his unoccupied hand to take his partner’s jaw in his fingers, bringing them together for a firm kiss. Their lips slotted together in a practiced ease, a light sigh leaving Vlad as Joel’s tongue flicked against his lower lip. The car stopped. The finger under Vlad’s jaw didn’t move as they broke apart, and a knowing, wanton look was shared between them as Joel leaned back and undid his seatbelt, Vlad breaking their contact to do the same.

“I’d be delighted to give a refresher.” They exited the car.

Inspo for this was from art by boopfq on tiktok and MessRedds on Twitter. I haven't written fanfiction (or anything) in like 5 years so if this seems meh don't worry about it. This is self indulgent bc these two are ruining my entire life and I need an outlet. I literally made a playlist it's getting so bad

[voidsturn]

introducing…

time loop!reader x time loop!chris

inspired by: one of my favourite movies ever… palm springs.

tropes: this au will contain fluff, angst and highly suggestive topics. opposites attract, friendship of convenience, forced proximity, slow burn

warnings: words and mentions related to alcohol, drugs, sex and death.

author’s note: please let me know if this has been done in this fandom! also, for the love of god, don’t take some of these characteristics and quotes for chris seriously. it’s an alternate universe, let’s not kid ourselves :)

time loop!reader - the chaotic douchebag bastard

she/her, bisexual

- characteristics -

living definition of adhd, gifted burnt out adult, loves fucking with people, probably is a million years old, don’t trust me by 3oh!3, always seen in hawaiian shirts, hates flowers, left hand usually occupied by a can of fanta, the party & the after party by the weeknd, self-proclaimed king of impulsive thoughts, borderline optimist nihilist, has a favourite pair of sunglasses that aren’t hers, stay ready (what a life) by jhené aiko, gives off beach vibes but prefers swimming pools, ‘if you like piña coladas’, might be the leader of the illuminati, borderline by tame impala, death is afraid of her probably cause she’s died countless times, anti-hero by taylor swift, clown with a powdery white nose, instead of the red nose, it’s chris’ fault she’s stuck replaying the shittiest night of her life for well… the rest of her life.

- quotes -

“one time, i smoked a bunch of crystal and made it all the way to equatorial guinea. it was a huge waste of time.”

“i try to live my life at this point with as little effort as possible.”

“today, tomorrow, yesterday… it’s all the same.”

“there might be some way to kill yourself. i haven’t figured it out, and i’ve done… a lot of suicides. so many.”

“stop! there’s a bomb in the cake. don’t worry, i used to be a bomb guy.”

“she comes to torture me every few days or… weeks? i dunno, this situation’s has made my sense of time bit fuzzy.”

time loop!chris - the loveable goofball idiot

he/him, straight

- characteristics -

afraid of being alone, weddings, intimacy, flat soda, spiders, 25/8 surveillance and ranch, 3 nights by dominic fike, lacks basic common sense, continuously chases emotionally unavailable people, can finally drive legally, sexy to someone by clairo, right hand usually occupied by a can of pepsi, laughs at this own jokes, sex, drugs, etc. by beach weather, heads usually covered with a baseball cap, *insert constant sneezing and burping here*, loves night drives, stuck in my ways by partynextdoor, hates the summer, most likely to die first in a horror movie, would do anything for his loved ones, once lost three thousand dollars in an uber, redbone by childish gambino, it’s y/n’s fault he’s stuck replaying the shittiest night of his life for well… the rest of his life.

- quotes -

“you could’ve at least mentioned that before i put my dick inside you!”

“yo, it didn’t work. you’re right, life is now meaningless. let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“is this a wedding or a fucking orgy?!”

“nobody can stand the idea of being alone. including me. so people… buy into this pageantry and celebrate its bullshit.”

“i wanna steal a plane and crash it. right now.”

“glad i’m not alone in this, even though you’re pretty much an asshole.”

- few conversations between these two absolute nutcases -

y/n - pink | chris - orange

now, you’re kinda stuck in a time loop. with me… and madison. ooh, kinda like that favourite movie of yours, back to the future-

back to the future’s about time travelling, you fucking uncultured swine.

oh. well he almost fucked his mom so, i’m still the winner here.

that’s not the plot- y/n! wait why the fuck are you running?!

cause it’s not even been 24 hours with you, and i already wanna kill myself!

i just like to give back whenever i can. material matters don't really concern me.

with the exception of fanta, potato chips, designer drugs and those sunglasses...

obviously. i'm not a fuckin’ psychopath.

this isn't real, y/n. everything that we are doing in here is fucking meaningless!

so what? i mean, it's not like things were going perfect for you out there.

wow, that’s so fucking low of you.

am i not saying the truth?

the pain is real. why can't you understand that?!

it doesn't matter! nothing matters, right? those are your words.

no. pain matters. what we do to other people matters. we were having fun. then you killed madison.

so what?! she’s killed you like a few hundred thousand times!

that’s her right! i’m the reason she’s stuck here forever!

what if we get sick of each other?

chris… we're already sick of each other. it's the best.

where do you want to go on our first date when this for sure works?

your mom's house.

okay, this was a mistake.

your mom's a mistake.

oh my god, i’ve made you worse than me.

i know right, you did the impossi-

shut up chris.

author’s note 2: can’t wait to write more about these two morons who are so stupidly in love with each other. hope everyone has as much fun as i will :) also, i have proofread this like three times so if there’s any errors ill kms :/

[littledollll]

Larissa: “anything to say for yourself?”

Y/n: “you look very kissable right now.”

[binglepringle]

Idek what this is but here you go 🤲

[yusakiiiii]

The Crossover really was something. Here’s one of my favourite interactions. What’s yours?

Scott: I hate the gays!

*Joe Hills begins shooting Scott*

Scott: Joe I can say that! Joe I am gay!

Joe Hills: Okay, so not everybody has that context. My viewers don’t know that. I don’t know that.

Scott: I am very gay which is why I’ve said that Joe.

Joe Hills: That is a valuable bit of context to provide

Scott: I’m aggressively homosexual. I’m very aggressively homosexual Joe I thought everyone knew. It’s kinda my brand.

Joe Hills: There’s a lot of inter-audience cross pollination right now.

Scott: I did appreciate the aggressive nature you took right away though, that was a good ally.

Joe Hills: I do what I can.

Scott: I thought Joe when I said I’m gonna say the one slur I can you’d have picked up.

Oli: Did you say a slur?

Scott: No I didn’t. I said when Jimmy was copying me I was tempted to do it and then I said “I hate the gays” and then Joe decided to shoot me cos he didn’t realise I was gay. Even though I’m aggressively homosexual.

Joe Hills: I don’t have time to know every gay person!

If you want to watch this properly. Go to the 2:40:00 mark in this video: https://www.youtube.com/live/2heYeEOTqrw?si=a1urB22nQZZPq_tk

[manyblinkinglights]

lol even npr’s coverage of the shooting is soooooo slanted to making the dead guy and his wife look villainous and the shooter look based. rare public radio w (I haven’t ceased being irate with them since some generic housing piece they did in which they interviewed several landlords and 0 tenants).

[puppyeared]

Doodles from stream

[headaching]

part 1 part 2 part 3

[itspileofgoodthings]

one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement