#I just had a freaking heart attack

[fallen-goldfishcracker]

So, my comfort hobby is watching people on YouTube react to the Owl House- it's very fun, and I enjoy it quite a bit.

Often though, when Stranger Tides and Hunting Palisman come up, they will make comments about how strange and unsuited Hunter's voice is for his ominous character/persona. And half of me, the reasonable half goes:

"well, that's for a reason, it's because Hunter doesn't fit the persona of the Golden Guard- he's a highly trained soldier but still a kid, he's a teenager in a position of power, of course his voice cracks and isn't as ominous that's the point, the point is he's been given expectations and power he can never live up the point is that his voice shouldn't match-"

But the goblin part of me that first heard Hunter's voice and went absolutely feral, goes:

"Hunter voice good. What are you talking about. Zeno Robinson is a god and his voice is perfect. "unfortunately, you won't have the chance" Hunter voice incredible. *Unintelligible screaming* Hunter voice incredible. I want to devour the way he says words help. "Oh, you just pull that chord above your head" JSJUSHDJRND His voice leaves me in absolute shambles. Hunter voice good. Zeno Robinson did the world more of a favour than every step taken by every great man. His voice tastes like honey and morning dew and a frenzied thunderstorm crackling on your tongue. What the HECK are you talking about."

[coconut530]

WHY DOES IT SAY MADE ON SATURDAY I WAS NOT NOTIFIED HUHHHHH

ALSO JUST DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE *AND* IT’S THE PENULTIMATE EP OF S4 WHATTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[jkateel]

project zomboid is the most stressful game i have ever played

[rosicheeks]

Maybe you could do audiobooks while you paint, I know I love listening to podcasts when I’m doing things like that.

OoOOoO that’s a good idea!!!

[munch-mumbles]

GRR a lot of my paranoia about my heart health has been coming back lately

[computerpeople]

my mom got very very drunk yesterday and she's an aggressive drunk, not physically but it amplifies her anger and irritation by like 6, and she's already a very very explosive and volatile woman. she got in a fight with her boyfriend and was screaming and drove off to the middle of nowhere and that's why my sister called and im so proud of her for reaching out and asking me to call, and i think she is too, she said she wants to call me more for sure and wants to ask more, and that she felt a lot better after we called. that feels good for me, even if im worrying about it now, at her age i didn't have anyone to turn to or call, so im glad i get to be that for her. i fucking hate my parents man

[inbabylontheywept]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[mrswagtastic]

I'm really just out here dealing with it. No meds, no therapist, just rawdoggin this mental illness freak style.

[bassciven]

like it’s not about all the little things that i keep saying are pissing me off. it’s the fact that i continuously feel like an afterthought in my own relationship because she’s too wrapped up in her own thoughts in her own head to notice the world around her and act like she isn’t the only one in it.

[nachtnabelle]

yk ik it was just heartburn or acid reflux but my bulimic ass experiencing chest pains esp squeezing at the heart had me actually fearing for my life icl

[beemovieerotica]

I had a beloved psych teacher in high school who got warned by the principal at least once to stop running psychological experiments on students - he was literally made for prank YouTube before YouTube even existed, these weren't even formally constructed tests of the scientific method, it was just clownery and tbh I think teaching at a catholic school for 2 decades does something to you psychologically.

but anyway the one that went down in history was when he faked his own death in front of a classroom full of his students "just to see how they would respond, for science"

but he couldn't just fake a heart attack...because that would be lame... he concocted an elaborate scenario where a former student of his came in during a quiet self-study time and got in an argument with him about past grades. and the situation escalated, and this kid pulls out a fake gun and the teacher is like "oh my god!!" and gets shot in the chest - he had fake blood and everything and was doing his best to serve an oscar-winning performance. but I mean if you're known for clownery then. lol. most of the students were like "oh. we're being experimented on again" and just sat back mentally eating popcorn as a handful of people who didn't know him well freaked out.

nobody got hurt but he didn't record data or anything he was just like "wow that was interesting...let's talk about why none of you over there cared I was dying...it hurt my feelings...."

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[justkillingthyme]

man im the original pussy ask person and thats not even me the fucks going on with that person

I dunno. Thought it was done cause I didn’t get anything for like. A week but I guess we’re back 👍 it kinda. Freaks me out

[depresseddepot]

the absolute ecstasy I felt when I went to explore what I thought was a stylized black hole (the white hole station), couldn't go into it, and then connected the dots when I found the black hole in brittle hollow

[capyclub]

this week has been so fucking awful I literally cannot catch a break

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

anyway about those tags on that other post every time i rewatch that call the midwife episode i cry a little more. today i was hugging my teddy bear and sobbing <3