#those cals wont come off even if i thr0w them up
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nachtnabelle · 6 months ago
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just now my bsf since childhood said that i dont have problems/insecurities compared to the rest of our friends and it made me laugh
like yep! no issues! just the bulimia since we were 14, the disordered eating habits since way before then, body dysmorphia, constant emotional dysregulation and ofc! who could forget about the violent inferiority complex simultaneous with the belief that im a violent monster that shouldve ended things when we were 14.
no issues at all 🩵
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nachtnabelle · 6 months ago
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my childhood trauma didnt make me stronger it gave me a villain complex and an e@ting disorder
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nachtnabelle · 9 months ago
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i did so well …. yet my weight back up by a pound.
i did everything i could to shed that pound/start losing weight again these past few days (itd been on a standstill for days due to bloating) .
and when it finally starts moving again, it goes back up just as easily. i hate this. i just want to be weightless .
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nachtnabelle · 2 months ago
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why the fuck is it that when im not trying at all, i lose weight SO easily. but when im trying??? fuck that is guess
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nachtnabelle · 2 months ago
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i can never, ever be happy.
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nachtnabelle · 4 months ago
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felt cute all day, looked at pics and then my weight and immediately wanted to kill myself
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nachtnabelle · 5 months ago
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people calling me short is always so triggering cause id be called short next to some other girl whos the same height but skinnier so she looks taller. theyre just calling me fat, no deliberately but they are.
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nachtnabelle · 5 months ago
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yk ik it was just heartburn or acid reflux but my bulimic ass experiencing chest pains esp squeezing at the heart had me actually fearing for my life icl
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nachtnabelle · 5 months ago
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even if i got thin, id still be ugly. but people would like me better, i know this. its why i tear myself apart, day after day, as if id find salvation beneath the chunks of fat that cling to me so stubbornly
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nachtnabelle · 9 months ago
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i fucking binged today and im sick so no fasting ! screw this my bp normalised brain so fucking stupid
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