#but it gets so lonely and ive tried reaching out but

[nachtnabelle]

just now my bsf since childhood said that i dont have problems/insecurities compared to the rest of our friends and it made me laugh

like yep! no issues! just the bulimia since we were 14, the disordered eating habits since way before then, body dysmorphia, constant emotional dysregulation and ofc! who could forget about the violent inferiority complex simultaneous with the belief that im a violent monster that shouldve ended things when we were 14.

no issues at all 🩵

[autisticlee]

you know what, it's autism acceptance month. that means all the cool, nice, outgoing, fun people should adopt an autistic person (me) as a friend and show them what it's like to have cool and fun friends! most of us struggle with that and don't know what that's like, so in the spirit of acceptance, please accept us into your friend groups :D

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die

[be-good-to-bugs]

i will be in hell world forever and that is ok i guess

[cyberrose2001]

Hi hi! Your op drawings are so good?? My bby aaa drawing him (bots in gen) is so tough, I get too caught up in the details TT

Anyway, since I miss him lol I was wondering if I could request some... uh, gosh I hate this word but idk anything synonymous. Could I request pussydrunk tfp op?

Hope you're having a nice day/night btw <3

- 🍄

TFP pussydrunk!Optimus x reader

Hi hello!!I am very proud of this and it's probably up there with my list of my favourite fics I have ever written. Thank you so much for requesting and liking my silly sketches of the blorbo. I've written this as gender neutral <3

(lowkey ive been writing heaps of OP eating pussy,,, its a canon event for me i cannot intervene..... anyway its 11AM and i havent slept yet but i needed to finish hggggh *dies of horny*)

Warnings: Oral sex (reader receiving), edging, reader has a vagina.

Word count: 657

18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI

Spending time alone with you has learned to be one of Optimus' most treasured past times. But as much as it pains him, relaxing with you is a rare treat. The usual business of the base either keeps him up all night, or he genuinely has no time. However, he tries his best to make the most of it, whether he's relaxing with you, cuddling you, or with his head glued between your inner thighs. 

Like right now. It was nearing two AM. Optimus has you sprawled out on your shared berth, his face pressed against your aching heat, finally finding sweet relief from his built-up arousal. It's been too fragging long since his face was buried in you. He misses it, and if Optimus had a choice, he would sacrifice everything he's worked for to keep you bare before him.

Two hours. Optimus had been lazily lapping at you for two hours now. At one point, his helm had lulled to the side to rest against your right inner thigh to not strain his neck. His glossa grows tired, and his energon roars through his hot frame.

His stamina is almost depleted compared to when he initially delved into your drenched pussy. Despite this, Optimus still has the capacity to tightly grip your hips, gently massaging them as you lie still for him. He is weary, yet he perseveres, ignoring his aching joints and pulsing spike painfully pressed against the berth because tonight is about you. He will make up for all those lonely nights you've spent in berth alone in one lengthy oral session.

It's very often that when Optimus gives you oral, his mind feels like he's been transported to a higher plane of existence, one where he has no responsibilities or obligations to lead a team, just the mind-numbing taste of you. It makes him dizzy and light-headed, similar to the buzz he gets when he has a high grade or two, but Optimus prefers revelling in you instead to get his high. 

As ever patient as you are with your star-crossed lover, your hips still gently roll and shudder involuntarily against his glossa, and Optimus fucking loves it. He loves your soft cries when he sucks on your clit, and he loves when you clamp your legs around his helm when your orgasm is merely within reach. But he won't let you finish just yet, not when he's yet to relish and thoroughly drown himself in your sticky sweet.  

His warm optics remain lazily trained on your face, only fluttering close when you squeeze his helm. The pressure from your thighs only heightens his hunger, a carnal desire to swallow every drop of your aphrodisiac juices. 

"Mmmmm," You mewl, sweaty palms digging into the berth, "Fuck, I missed this… why don't we do this - aah - more often, baby…."

Optimus doesn't respond, and he can't because his processor is so intoxicated and aroused that he can't even form a single coherent sentence. It's quite ironic, he thinks. A mech of his nature that is so poised and articulate in his vocable is conned by his own desperate need to surrender his intake to his humans' essence.

"Mmmffh," He purrs into your heat, parting your sensitive lips with his glossa, lazily swirling around your bud before pressing a gentle kiss against it. He can't help but grind his spike into the berth below at your whimpers, servos kneading into your soft flesh, "More… Primus, I need more…."

You titter breathlessly, snaking a hand to the top of his helm to lightly press his face further into your pulsing heat, and Optimus delightfully grunts. You shiver, biting back a moan at the vibrations, "Go ahead, hun, you've got me for the rest of the night."

Optimus may need to blow a hole into the sun to prevent it from rising, since one night will never be enough to satisfy his thirst for you.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Wash away the blood on my hands

a/n nothing I can tell you…

summary: honestly just a iv x reader x iii smut. When life throws you to the curb it’s in the embrace of two masked men that you find your salvation.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It still felt almost pathetic to crawl back to them. You liked having power in this. Never being the one to seek them out. Letting them do the groveling. Slither like serpents into your embrace. But tonight, you were too desperate. Too much in need for something to chase the nagging voices away. You had tried it all at this point. Everything that usually worked on setting your mind back on track. But it was pointless tonight.  

So here you were, navigating the dim hotel hallways at almost two a.m. It had started so innocently—the connection between you three. It was almost a given. Whatever happened between Vessel and II while they were writing music was for them and them only. Each of you were more than aware that you would never compare. Would never match that. Never reach the same level of intensity that rushed when they came together. So you never tried. What was the point? That, however, left you there on your own devices when the nights mid-tour got too long and lonely. 

The first time it happened, you three had been lounging in the tour bus. A beer in hand. Laughing about the stupidest shit. In your hazy state, you had let it slip that you hadn’t had an orgasm in months. No matter what you did, nothing could ever tip you over the edge. The look iii and ivy shared had sent a shiver down your back. But it didn’t compare to the feeling of their eyes falling on you. No words were needed. None were shared. And the rest was history. 

Knocking on the door marked with the number given to you, you waited. Hoping that enough heartbeats would pass by for you to change your mind. Turn on your heels and leave. But the door swung open, revealing a shirtless iii with messy hair. Your eyes fell to the peak of the room stretching out behind him. Of iv slowly pulling the white sheets over his naked body. “You’re busy?”, you swallowed thickly. Walk away; you mentally scolded yourself; it’s their time alone; if they wanted you there, they would have said something. Yet a peg of pain still pierced your heart. “Never for you, mouse,"  iii chuckled slightly, hooking a finger beneath your chin. Tilting your face up. The cocky smirk simmered down the moment his eyes landed on your puffy eyes. “What’s wrong?”, and here it was, the class clown turning into a feral guard dong in the blink of an eye. 

You slowly shook your head, “Not tonight."  Reaching out, you squeezed his hand. “Come on,"  he said, pulling at your hand, bringing you into the dim room. “Isn’t it our favorite girl?", iv called from the bed, pulling his boxers back on. “Don’t get dressed on my account," you pointed out. "Unless, of course, you want me to take them off you once again," you mused, shrugging your t-shirt off and tossing it across the room. 

“Nah, we have a rule," iii said, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m not fucking you when you’re upset about something."  You shot him a warning look, daring him to push your buttons any further. “Have you been crying?”, iv’s fingers trailed up your neck as he stepped closer to you. Those blue eyes crashed into you with so much force that it sent all the air tumbling out of your lungs. “Can we do all this later, after you fuck my brain out?” you pleaded, “I just want to forget for a while." This wasn’t a first. All of you had leaches in your brain. Through the past year, more than a handful of nights were spent plucking each other’s fears and self-doubts with roots deeply embedded in one’s soul. 

“Say less," iv mussed against your ear. He pushed your hair over your shoulder as his lips pressed against your skin. Breathing life back into you. His fingers aimlessly work with the zipper of your skirt, letting it fall to the floor with a thud. You could hear iii whistling from behind you, “No panties, naughty."  His warmth seeped into your back a moment later. “A girl with a mission on her mind. We left you alone for a night, and you already couldn’t take it." His teeth grazed the shell of your ear, causing your eyelids to flutter. 

“I hate you," you muttered, reaching up to pull at the roots of his hair. "Bet,"  he chuckled deeply, his fingers slowly trailing down your lower stomach and between your thighs. Making you let out a sigh of relief. “I can tell from the way you’re dripping onto my fingers, and we haven’t even started," he hummed making iv snort. “What does that say about you, darling, hm?”, iv leaned in, fingers brushing over your breast before he moved to pinch your nipple. 

“I want you,"  you moaned out, grinding back against iii, feeling him slowly getting harder as he bucked his hips against your ass. “It couldn’t be more obvious,"  he grunted against your ear. "Shower,"  you muttered, earning a collective “huh” from both of the boys. “Can we do it in the bathroom?” slowly licking your lips, you watched as both of their pupils dilated. “You little freak," iii huffed, hooking one arm beneath your bum. You only had a chance to let out a shriek as your hands leaned forward to brace against his shoulders. He covered the distance in a total of four steps. 

Your back hit the back wall tiles, and you quickly wrapped your legs around his torso. iii lips crashed into you so fast you didn’t get a chance to take a breath in, and then a stream of water crashed onto the both of you. Drowning out the last echoes in your mind. He was everywhere. Every inch of your body hummed to the feeling of iii squeezing your thighs as he bucked against you. The feeling of his semi-hard dick, still clothed in black boxers, slipping between your folds made you cry into the kiss. 

“Don’t leave me hanging you two," iv chuckled. You pulled back from iii, watching iv slowly pump his hand up and down his cock as he made his way to you. Where you and iii usually collided like two stars, leaving nothing but ruins in your path, iv weathered the storms you both caused. Like a shore, taking the beating of the waves over and over again. 

iii, slowly let your legs hit the floor once again. Your eyes lingered on him before iv pressed against your back, pulling you against his chest. “iii, why don’t you show your little siren just how much we want her in return?", iv mused. iii didn’t have to be told twice as he slowly sank to his knees in front of you, sending your stomach tumbling down at the sight. That alone made you weak in your knees, so the moment he leaned in, nibbling on your thigh, your whole world tilted. His tongue lapped at your heat mercilessly. A cry that slipped past your lips felt inhuman. iii parted your legs ever so slightly, giving himself more room. “Fuuuck," you mulled, bucking your hips against him even more. “Look at him worshipping you," iv muttered, brushing some of the wet strands of hair away from iii face before sliding his hand up your chest. “Only you get treatment like that, love," he said, slowly nibbling at your shoulder, nudging the tip of his cock between your thighs. "Ivy," you grunted, letting your head fall back onto his shoulder. “Gonna cum on iii tongue?”, he touted, “I know you want to, baby."  His hand reached out, clasping your hands beneath your back. Pulling you away from touching iii, the lost contact made you grunt before iii reached up, circling your clit with his fingers before dipping them between your folds. “Oh, god...", you whimpered. That familiar feeling of his fingers beckoning at you from within your walls turned your legs into jelly. “Give her one more," iv mused, his free hand roughly palming your breast. “No, no…”, you shook your head, knowing that would be your undoing. But the devil worked harder and faster. iii grazed his teeth over your bundle of nerves, pumping his fingers in and out of you. And you were done for. The heat in your stomach pooled, as a shuttering cry left your lisps, making legs buck. But iv was quick to keep you upright, pressing firmer into you, pushing your throwing heat even more at the mercy of iii. 

“Good girl," he breathed against you, pulling your head to the side as he kisses your lips. Further sending the dizzy spell into motion. “Got to get creative over here," iii mused, licking his lips, “I call dibs on fucking her tonight." You pulled away from iv, gasping for air as he shoved your body beneath the water for a moment. “Guess you’ll have to blow me, baby." You nod at iv words. Ready to do about anything the two would ask of you.

“I guess I’m getting a king treatment tonight," iv snorted, palming himself a couple of times as he sat down on the built-in ledge, parting his legs. “His dick won’t suck itself, mouse," iii pushed at your shoulder, sending you down onto your knees. You licked your lips, wrapping your hands around his cock, pumping him slowly. Keeping your eyes on him as you slide just the tip between your lips, sucking on it ever so slightly before pulling away with a pop. “Don’t fucking tease," iv grunted, fingers threading through your hair. “Not my problem, you’re so hard," you crocked out, making iii chuckle from behind you. “You little, slut," iv grunted, pulling your head back slightly. “Put your mouth to use before I do it for you," at that you leaned in, sliding your tongue over his length, making a grunt slip past his lips. You swirled your tongue over his tip once more, savoring the salty flavor of pre-cum, before bopping your head down. 

“Good fucking girl," iv moaned, fisting your hair as you hollowed out your cheeks for him, taking him deeper. "Pretty," iii mused, “Let’s see if you can keep that up while I’m fucking you from behind."  He sinked into you with such ease that it should be shameful. Your joined moans fill the steamy room as that drug like pleasure filled your bodies. As you all chased that high. You dug your fingers into iv’s thighs at the feeling of iii stretching you out. Welcoming the slight pain it caused you. 

Your moan vibrated around iv shaft, making him press your head down even further, causing your eyes to water as you gagged around him. “Jesus”, iii grunted from the back of you as his hips found a rapid rhythm. You felt them both twitching within you, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“You feel like a fucking dream," iv whimpered, using your mouth to chase his pleasure, your drool coating his thighs. You could only hum around him as iii slipped his hand to circle your clit. Feeling your body slowly seizing as your second orgasm bloomed. iii let out a low grunt as he pounded into you, making your vision blank with pleasure. 

“Can I... fuck... can I cum in your mouth?", iv grunted through clenched teeth. You only got to hum before warm ropes of cum painted the back of your throat. And then you all crumpled, one after the other. The feeling of iv twitching in your mouth as you choked on him sent you over the edge. Causing you to clench around iii, who within a couple of thrusts griped your hips with such force as he too let his warmth fill the depths of you. Making you sob as the pleasure consumed you. 

Gasping for air, you pull away from iv, only to let your head slump against his thigh. iii’s hand was already grasping iv’s other leg as he too breathed heavily. “I think I just saw what the afterlife looks like," iv mused, making both of you chuckle lightly. “You good?”, his warm fingers traced your cheeks, making you blink up at him slowly. “Yeah," you crocked out, feeling the burn in the back of your throat. “I never came so hard in my life," iii blew out a breath, “took the air right out of my lungs." You wanted to throw a cocky line, but your brain was as blank as paper. The moment iii pulled out and his body no longer supported yours, you slumped completely, making the two males reach out to steady you with unmatched speed. 

“I think we restarted her system a bit too good,"  iv snorted. “We got you, mouse,"  iii looped an arm around your torso, “None of your demons will get to you when we’re around," hoisting you up on your feet as if you weighed nothing, he pulled the shower head to rinse the cum painting your legs and chest. “Bedtime for you," iii hummed, kissing the side of your head. Hoking an arm beneath your knees, lifting you up. You curled against him, savoring the warmth of his body. “I think we need to order room service”," ivy chirped, tossing a towel onto the bed so iii could dry your hair. “Now you’re speaking my language,"  iii nodded, eyes fixed on your dazed face as you blinked up at the ceiling. “I think we’ve been talking in the same language for quite some time now, mate," iv shrugged before dialing the number. 

[lucky-clover-gazette]

(for the request thing) sometimes i wonder how Volo would feel/react if someone (like arceus’s chosen 👀) took a blow for him from a wild Pokemon or another person. From his perspective, Volo doesn’t have anyone in Hisui that cares about his wellbeing, and the game alludes to him having a troubled and lonely past, and with him having planned on erasing all life in Hisui in pursuit of his desires, would he feel guilt if someone showed him a level of care that would make them sacrifice their safety for his, when he was ready to potentially sacrifice them for his own sake when it came to Arceus?

(also wanna say ive loved your fics on Ao3, so talented <3)

(also on ao3)

You really prefer not to die in front of other people.

The edges of your vision darken as you shove Volo aside, taking the full force of the Alpha Vespiqueen’s attack. You manage the subdue your attacker with a well-aimed sticky glob and ultra ball, but not before suffering an undoubtedly fatal blow.

The consummate merchant comes to you at once, leaning over your fallen body with an oddly indecipherable expression. Usually Volo is abundantly obvious with his feelings, whether he’s passionately rambling about ruins or earnestly praising your efforts as the hero of Hisui. But the man you see now, as your vision begins to blur, simply stares.

“Caught it,” you brag.

His grey eyes widen slightly. You haven’t shared this with him, but you’ve always found them rather beautiful.

“You shouldn’t have…”

“Saved you?” you ask with a dry chuckle. “That’s why I’m here, remember?”

Volo furrows his brow. Reaches out to touch you, then pulls his hand back.

“I sincerely apologize,” he tells you, bowing his head. “If you are to perish in these circumstances, you deserve to know—”

You die and can’t hear the rest.

And then you open your eyes.

You stand on your feet now, in the last place you felt safe before the Pokémon’s attack. Volo still kneels in the distance, seemingly unaware that your body has been replaced by a fallen satchel containing your entire supply of ultraballs, a fire stone, and exactly four medicinal leeks.

You frown. This is going to be awkward.

“Hey, buddy,” you say, coming up carefully behind him. Volo’s back goes rigid at the sound of your voice, his head turning around at once.

“You—you!!”

You rub the back of your neck, sheepish. “Surprise?”

“You died!” Volo exclaims with an accusatory finger-point. “I just saw—” His head swivels to the satchel on the ground, then he turns back to you. “How?”

You sigh and sit down beside him. “Chosen One perk. I die, Arceus says my work isn’t finished yet, I get another shot. It happened for the first time when I fought Lord Kleavor. I had no idea what I was doing, and it took like a dozen tries before I got good.”

Volo looks horrified. “You’ve died a dozen times?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why—”

“My death count’s definitely in the triple digits now. Lord Arcanine was ten times worse than Kleavor, because of all the fire and bullshit arena. At least Lady Liligant was a total pushover.”

“Did it not hurt?” demands Volo, his face growing noticeably pale.

“Oh, it totally hurt,” you admit. “But somebody’s got to deal with it, and I’m the only one around here who’s been made invulnerable by God.”

Volo looks as if he’s been slapped. You suppose that’s fair, considering the shock of witnessing your death and resurrection. But to you, this really is just another Tuesday.

“I know it’s disturbing,” you sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder. His muscles are tense. “That’s why I try my best to make sure people aren’t around to see it. Just easier that way, you know?”

Volo wears another unreadable expression.

“Sucks to lose a satchel, though,” you say, lightly. “Thanks for keeping an eye on it. Without witnesses, I usually lose some of my stuff. Never the plates, though, don’t worry.”

He still looks lost in his thoughts, which is no good. You don’t know how to explain that this happens all the time, for much less important reasons than protecting your favorite person on Hisui. The pain is a small price to pay for his safety, and you’d readily pay it again.

“I thought you died,” Volo eventually says. “Saving my life.”

You elbow him playfully. “I guess Arceus is looking out for you too.”

His expression darkens. “No.”

“No?”

He looks you dead in the eyes, with a different sort of intensity than you’ve come to expect from the eccentric wanderer. “Under an unjust god, endless life is endless pain. Do you truly wish that for yourself? For the world?”

Distantly, you wonder what exactly Volo had thought you deserved to know before your presumed demise. You have a feeling he’s not going to tell you now.

You offer him a hand. “Well, unless you’ve got a better god laying around somewhere, I think we’re stuck with what we’ve got.” And I like what I’ve got, you absolutely do not tell the merchant. I like that I’m here with you.

Volo still seems distracted, but he takes your hand anyway. “Right,” he mutters, and then smiles. “We live to fight another day.”

You rub your thumb against the side of his hand. “And maybe someday, we won’t have to fight. We’ll have everything we need.”

You can picture it, with him. You wonder, maybe foolishly, if he might feel the same way.

Supporting you is actually an investment in my own fortunes, Volo had told you once.

You would protect him regardless of your personal relationship, of course. Just as you protect the rest of this world. You want things to be better, for everyone, and intend to use your god-given powers to ensure that your dream becomes reality.

Volo nods, his sharp gaze fixed on your joined hands. A chill runs down your spine as he squeezes.

“Yes,” he agrees. “Someday.”

You smile softly.

“I think I can live with that.”

[t1red-twilight]

OMG OMG can you do something with angst request #10 "i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore" with peter :)))))) Ive been sad and need some angst to match the mood and who better to ask!!!

bereavement

summary: “i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore.”

content/warnings: gn!reader, andrew!peter, angst, major character death, grief, descriptions of ptsd, disordered eating (if you squint)

notes: omg tysm!!! i GOTCHU girl (gender-neutral). i really really tried with this one, i hope you enjoy it. i hope you feel better, dear anon. this fic made me cry lol

word count: 1k

masterlist p. parker masterlist

you had had a grueling day at work. you hadn’t slept the night before; your head plagued with dreams and regrets that you would carry as long as you would live. everyone was bothering you in some shape or form, plus, you had forgotten your lunch.

all you wanted was peter. you opted to walk to his home instead of trying to bear the late night traffic.

when you saw him, your shoulders finally released the tension that they had been holding.

“hey, pete.” you sat down next to him. “you would not believe how hard work was today. a rude older lady harassed me about messing up one of her forms, even though she was the one that filled them out.” you slouched and looked at the ground.

the honks of busy city life filled your ears. the smell from the rain lingered. “i forgot my lunch again. i don’t have enough to eat out right now either, so i just didn’t have lunch. but that’s not a big deal.” stomach pains were something that you were becoming quite familiar with. inhaling deeply, you continued. “i canceled more plans. i know you don’t want me to, but i just want to spend any time i have, with you. I can’t bear to be further away from you.” the sound of him scolding you felt like whispers against your damp skin.

you reached up and wiped a lone tear from your cheek. smiling as wide as you could handle, you tried to ignore them.

“i want to move to somewhere quieter, but i could never leave you.” you fiddled with your fingers out of habit.

there was a pause. your ears rang. “you don’t ever have to worry about me leaving, okay? i promise. i’ll stay here as long as you need me too.”

you waited; your eyes trailed downward, head turned away. the street was still slick with the combination of the oil from the city mixed with the rain. your breathing was fitful now, tears soaking the neckline of your top.

“i miss you. your side of the bed doesn’t even smell the same anymore,” you choked out, your hands rubbing the sockets of your eyes. you scanned the graveyard before returning your gaze to where peter rested.

Peter’s headstone was simple; he never would have wanted something grandiose. you and may picked out a simple granite. it was more may’s choice than yours, you had been too hysterical to even cope with the fact that the funeral you were planning was his.

even through hysterics, it never really hit you that he was dead. not until he sunk in an urn into the earth.

he always insisted an urn, better for the environment. neither you or may could handle having him sit on your mantle. you both decided that it felt too dehumanizing.

his headstone read: Peter Benjamin Parker: Lover, Son, Hero.

“it’s not getting any easier. i still love you more than anything, peter. i’m not capable of loving someone else, i think.

“you’ve ruined me romantically.” you laughed at the thought. it was a joke, even though it rang truer and truer as each day passed.

“you are the highlight of my existence. good lord, peter. you mean so much to me. there is nothing that i wouldn’t do to see you again. or, at the very least get your pillow to smell normal again. it reeks of me.”

-

peter died in your arms.

you could not quite recall the turn of events completely, but you could very clearly remember what he had said to you last.

he stumbled into your apartment through the fire escape. it got blurry after he thudded onto the carpet.

there had been some criminal ransacking the city who had a particular vengeance for peter. every time peter went out, he came back worse and worse. the name of the scum that killed him laid dormant somewhere in your mind. you refused to even think about him, as far as you were concerned, he was beneath you.

you had known that peter’s crime fighting could result in something serious, but pete had always insisted that everything was going to end up all right.

“i got him,” he had said. you ran over to help him. everything you remembered was from the third person, like you were watching yourself from above. you couldn’t recollect anything you said in response. “finally you’ll be safe from-”

from this point everything was crystal clear. you could name the shampoo still faintly straggled in his hair. it was your shampoo; now tarnished with the intense irony scent of blood that congested the throngs of your shared bedroom.

“peter, we have got to call an ambulance.” you were getting frantic. you tried as hard as you could to hoist him up, but he resisted. his arms rested atop your shoulders as you tried and tried to lift him up.

“it’s my time, love, it’s-”

“no. just let me get you to the hospital. if you hold on just a little bit longer, we can get you fixed up, okay?”

he inhaled like he was going to say something. his forehead fell to your shoulder.

“honey?” you shook him. “peter?”

“pete? peter?” you hand moved to his scalp. you tried to thread your fingers through his hair to no avail. the matting from his blood halted you fingers as soon as you began.

“c’mon, darling. stay awake, okay?”

“peter?”

your screech was pathetic as he laid limply in your arms. his chest was concave and his left foot had been barely hanging on.

-

you changed your shampoo after that; the smell of it only ever brought you that night. whenever you closed your eyes, you saw visions of peter. you could not decide which was worse: the memories where he was happy, or the play-by-play of his soul shrinking away from yours.

nights were now filled with television reruns, your ceiling, anything that could keep you awake occupied your time. when you were asleep you could be with him again. but, you never wanted to wake up. the hollow throbbing pains of having him ripped away from you again when you woke made you an insomniac.

you doomed yourself to repeat this cycle. it was as if you ever managed to get over peter, you’d lose everything that you had of him. so, you clung to every crumb that remained. even though those crumbs were slipping through your fingers like sand and disappearing with time as days passed.

[fiuworks]

timsasha au mind explosion emoji

SEASON 3-4-5 SPOILERS BELOW i mean it

erm anyway welcome to my au where timsasha survive season 3 somehow ive been thinking about it (im 100% sure people have done this before this is just me thinking about it) just some tidbits about it before i sleep:

tim survives the explosion but endures horrible burn scarring all over his body and has to have a leg amputated due to the extent of his injuries

daisy still goes huntpilled coffinmaxxing

the biggest thing i think about with this is that not!sasha was trapped in the tunnels by leitner until 158, but in this scenario ummmm. i dont know really? my working idea is that not!sasha is destroyed but the kind of entity that is not!them is still in the tunnels and sasha as her own person is exhumed from the destruction of her doppelganger and returned to the archives and this way the not!them can still attack everyone in 158

it also lends to a bit more emotional weight if sasha is in the archives when peter unleashes not!them and while distracted with the others she can have a bit of a cathartic whomp on the not!them for ruining her life and the lives of the people she cares about but really im spitballing here

both tim and sasha are helpless to martin's descent into the lonely because tim is in recovery for a while, sasha is in a coma for a week or so (LIKE A NORMAL PERSON) post restoration and is in the hospital for a little longer than that and is mostly occupied with helping tim in his physical recovery and while doing that sasha can't reach martin at work other than a curt few sentences and when tim is back with her neither can he (they both don't know about martin's mothers passing as well)

timsasha rekindle their romance because i want it to happen

tim and sasha i feel would try to reach out to basira and melanie and georgie but i just know that would go nowhere and it becomes frustrating for everyone involved

when jon returns i think they'd try to unionise with him to get answers out of martin but that would not work and it just splinters the archives further

unfortunately i dont think anything they could/would do changes anything as s4 ends and the Change starts

tim is trapped in the not!them's domain and taunted with the trauma of his past and is slowly losing himself and his self-identity, sasha is originally trapped there too, but in a kind of jonmartin-esque uno reverse situation she manages to regain herself in the not!them's domain and can wrangle tim from his stupor and she tries to kill and fight not!them by herself but when jmart roll up there jon eviscerates not!them as planned and the core archives gang are reunited because i like having fun here

they do split up as jmart go on their little apocalyptic couples councelling sessions and travel toward london but they probably don't bump into basira

they might meet up with the what the girlfreinds cult and just check in with them but for the most part i think they're just trying to Survive

they do join everyone at the end and do survive

thats it really if you hate anything i just said im just a guy and my braincells are doing all sorts of gymnastics to make sure my ship stays winning so i mean whatever i love them im still workshopping this as i brainrot about it im writing this at 3am so just stay with me here really

[cherryslyce]

Second Son (III) | Regulus Black

Series Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

— Chapter Synopsis: The school year begins and all seems lost when Undersecretary Umbridge is assigned as the new DADA professor. That is until Hermione and Ron approach Harry and Y/N with the idea to form Dumbledore's Army (Regulus disapproves, naturally).

Part II / Part IV / Series Masterlist

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader

Notes: Cursing, Not Canon Compliant

The talk with Sirius and Co. was tiresome. Actually, talk was a lenient way to put it, it was much more of an interrogation. Apparently, Sirius and Kreacher got into a spat (what a surprise) and the house elf let it slip that you had "found Master Regulus".

Hermione and Ron tried to dissuade Sirius from making it into a big deal, but alas they were unsuccessful (not to mention they wanted answers as well).

Luckily, Sirius had very little faith in Kreacher and you only told him that you found old photos of Regulus, and Kreacher happened to stumble upon your discovery.

Kreacher was very willing to corroborate your story in order to get back in your--Regulus‘, good graces.

For now, your explanation satisfied the others, but you knew that Harry had an idea that there was more to the story than you were letting on. Fortunately, Harry had always been a loyal friend and he wouldn't push you to tell him anything if you didn't want to.

It seemed you had a penchant for finding reliable friends.

Regulus was displeased with the turn of events and looked ready to scold a mournful Kreacher, but opted to just let out a disgruntled sigh.

"It doesn't matter anymore, I knew you'd be able to take care of it." Was what he told you after Kreacher left with a grateful cry.

Summer receded off the coast and autumn began to roll onto London, first painting the trees in kaleidoscopes of oranges before bringing tides of cool wind.

Your fifth year at Hogwarts was about to kick off and you were practically bouncing around at the prospect of being able to bring Regulus with you.

"Harry's hearing went just as I presumed it would."

"Oh? Looking to take up a post as Hogwarts Divination Professor, Reg?"

The boy merely rolled his eyes, deciding to grace you with the gift of an answer despite your smart mouth.

"It was obvious that Fudge would aim to discredit Harry. But, Dumbledore is quite the political force, and many are still willing to side with Harry even if they think he's lying about the Dark Lord. Harry may not feel it though. Bad press will always stand louder than uncertain support."

Ever the intellect.

"I guess so. Harry's still riled about it, but there's not much he can do since he was cleared of his charges. Merlin forbid he was expelled. I can't even imagine how dismal Hogwarts would be without everyone's favorite lion."

You continued to pack away your textbooks in your school trunk, murmuring tiredly under your breath at the idea of the inevitable increase in workload and the studying for O.W.L's.

"Are you excited?"

"Reg, you do understand that we face a new threat every single year, correct? Of course I'm excited."

There was no sarcasm in your tone, and you were being completely honest. Threats to your life would only serve to teach you further about the constraints and possibilities of magic. After all, you were certain the Dark Lord would stop at nothing until you were all dead, so you might as well learn as much as you can in the meantime.

"Just be cautious."

"Are you getting soft on me, Reggie? If you keep going I might think you actually care for me."

"Don't be daft, you know how I feel. Now, don't forget about the pouch I gave you."

You weren't going to antagonize him because you were almost certain he did care for you, but you weren't sure if you'd live long enough for him to actually tell you.

Reaching for the emerald green pouch laid atop your bed, you eagerly pulled it open. You never got the chance to examine its contents due to being interrogated by Sirius, but you were sure it was something important because of Regulus‘ insistence that you take it with you.

Reaching inside, you feel around the velvet interior until you feel something cool press against your fingertips.

Pulling it out, you gape as you realized it was a ring. A thick silver band with two snakes wrapping around it.

"Reg?"

"It's a gift. It was the ring I usually wore around in my youth. It's charmed to heat up when someone tries to use legilimency on you or when you're near poison. It served me well, now it will help you."

You twirl the band around your fingers and a small smile paints your lips as you try to suppress the burning in your eyes.

"Thank you Reg. I'm touched that you trust me so much with your possessions. I guess now I really have no excuse if I die."

"Exactly. So try your best--no, you have to live." His eyes were hard with conviction before they softened again when you nodded, "Good. You should put it on later, Sirius will definitely recognize it."

You couldn't find it in yourself to move on from Regulus‘ gift, even now as you were weaving around people.

The ring pressed gently against your chest as you walked with Harry down King's Cross, your new precious item was hidden away underneath your shirt on a necklace chain.

Regulus was tucked away inside your jacket like usual, the rectangular frame occasionally hitting against your ribs as you moved.

Sirius was paces away in his animagus form, too reluctant to let Harry leave with a simple goodbye at the door. You were happy that Harry had such a supportive adult figure in his life, but a part of you couldn't help but want him to leave quickly so you could slip on the ring.

The dog-man quickly trotted into an empty seating room, Harry leaving your side to talk to his godfather. As Moody and Tonks guarded the doorway of the room, you opted to give the aurors a brief nod before making your way to the platform first.

You admired them both to a varying degree, but you couldn't quite warm up to Moody after your Fourth Year debacle with his death eater imposter.

It was still hard to get the image of him, or rather the image of polyjuice him, making Neville uncomfortable in class.

Navigating your way around the swarm of people, soon you found yourself on the familiar platform.

Reaching into your shirt, you pulled out your necklace chain, twirling it around your neck before unclasping it and sliding Regulus‘ ring out.

It was a pretty thing, and you found yourself imagining the two snakes on the band as you and Regulus.

Propping your trunk up against one of the brick pillars, you fix your necklace before slipping the ring onto your left index finger, spelling it to fit you.

Thank merlin for magic.

Raising your hand up towards the sky, you observe the way the sunlight reflects off the silver. As you continued to admire it, you realized that someone's stopped beside you.

"Merlin! Harry?!"

The boy in question jumps at your exclamation, the distant look in his eyes being drowned out by realization. It was apparent that he was only present enough to recognize you in the crowd, but too lost in thought to realize what was going on.

"Oh, sorry. Should we board now?"

Without waiting for an answer, he reaches behind you and lugs your trunk behind him, starting to get lost in his head again as he walks towards the train.

As the both of you sit and wait for Hermione and Ron, he wordlessly reaches into his pocket, pulling out a folded photo. He hands it to you with a forlorn look in his eyes, watching as you carefully unfold the paper.

Are those?

As if reading your thoughts, he supplies you with a quiet answer, "My parents. And the Order."

"Fuck. From Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck."

Running your finger over the smiling faces of Lily and James Potter, you send a silent thank you for their sacrifice.

Your concern for Harry only ceased once you arrived at the castle.

Sitting down in the dining hall brought a surge of serotonin through your body. It was the closest thing you had to a home and being able to greet the cold walls and aged windows after every summer brought you great joy.

Looking in Harry's direction, you frown in concern as you see him eyeing the staff table in shock. Your confusion is swept away as a high-pitched voice cuts through Dumbledore's welcome speech.

A woman who was strangely reminiscent of a toad carefully made her way around the table and towards Dumbledore. From the way Harry began to furiously whisper to Hermione, you were certain that she was the reason for his sudden change in behavior.

Dumbledore and Snape looked faintly displeased with her interruption and your eyes started to hurt from the abomination of pink monotone that made her stand out.

You had an unfortunate feeling that the source of your fifth year misery had arrived.

And you were correct. Of course.

It had only been a week into your classes and you were seething violently, much like the rest of your friends.

"And do you know what she said Reggie?"

"What?" He mused in curiosity, his eyes alight at your foreign frustration.

"We're only going to be learning the theories! Because apparently if we know the theories well enough, the application of spells will just magically come to us!"

Your hands were flying around wildly as you recalled her words, your body bouncing around on your bed due to your gestures.

Regulus chuckled at your despair, eyes twinkling brightly like he had just received the best news of his life.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. I'm glad my misery is enjoyable to you, but I'm being serious! I just don't know what we should do! The DADA curse is really screwing us over here."

Seeming to take pity on your genuine distress, he begins to placate you, "Y/N, it's fine. I'll teach you if you want. Just tell me what spells and theories you're covering and I'll guide you."

Oh?

The grin that stretches across your face almost hurts and you fall back onto your bed, letting his offer run around your head with a content sigh.

"Y/N? Have you died?"

"Still here." Your answer comes out muffled as you bring your hand to cover your bright smile.

"Don't seem too happy, I'm a strict teacher."

"Yeah, yeah. Reg. I could kiss you right now! Seriously, thank you, you're too good to me."

Regulus doesn't respond to your words and he was sure that you weren't even aware of what you were saying, but he was glad you couldn't hear the way his heart was racing.

"No matter, just get some sleep."

"Hm? What will you do then? It's still pretty early."

"I'll just watch over you like always. Prop me up on your nightstand would you, I want to see outside."

"Yes, yes. Anything else you require my liege?" Your teasing is met with a deadpan look as you carefully rest his portrait frame against the stack of books on your nightstand.

"Y/N, sleep."

You let out an indignant huff and turn your body towards your bedside, facing Regulus as he begins to gaze outside your dorm window. Luckily, your nightstand was on the far end of the dorm room and would be out of view from anyone coming through.

"Goodnight, Reg."

"Sweet dreams, Y/N."

Luckily, slumber came quickly that night.

You should have known that your brief period of rest would soon be interrupted. It was basically the first warning that came attached to being involved with the Golden Trio. You just didn't realize that your peace would be disturbed the very next day.

"Are you positive that this is a great idea?"

"If Umbridge refuses to teach us, we need someone who will."

You stare at Hermione in consideration, "And that person is Harry?"

She nods confidently, her eyes blazing in determination. Clearly, they were going to move forward with this plan whether or not you were in.

"Okay. So Hog's Head then?"

"Yes. We can't possibly manage to keep this under wraps inside the castle walls. We'll come by and get you tomorrow."

"Merlin ‘Mione. I hope that this turns out well. For all of our sakes."

"It has to. Sirius said it himself, You Know Who is on the move."

Bloody Dark Lord and his murderous agenda spoiling your years of childhood.

There wasn't much that needed to be said after that and you both bid each other a quick farewell. You quickly headed to your dorm and let out a sigh of relief to see the room empty.

Plopping down on your bed, you flip open the charms textbook Regulus recommended, eyes darting around for a possible communication charm.

This was going to take forever, might as well get some help.

Fishing around your robes, you pull out Regulus‘ portrait and beam down at his unimpressed face.

"There's no way you're actually considering running along with that ragtag defense club now, are you?" Isn't he just pleasant today.

"Nice to see you too, Reg. Hermione's idea sounds interesting enough, besides friends need to support each other's endeavors."

Regulus looked like he was a few moments away from releasing a snort, but just shook his head. His neat curls jumped around his face and you had to stop yourself from getting too entranced by the sight.

"I suppose that makes sense, after all I would do the same for you. Though, you are already learning from me, no?" Regulus‘ words made your heart skip a beat, but you tried your best to play it off.

"Yes, and as much as I love Harry, you will always be my number one teacher." He looked all too pleased by your words and you shook your head fondly, "Don't let it get to your head though. Now, let's read through this book together, shall we?"

And as you both read through the pages of the book, you couldn't help but selfishly want more. You couldn't help but wonder how different everything would be if Regulus wasn't a portrait, but rather alive and well and attending Hogwarts with you.

It just added to your fury towards Voldemort. He had taken enough from the world, and you couldn't wait to drive a curse through him and live the rest of your life in peace.

tag list: @krazyk99 @venomsvl @valsarchives @bunny24sstuff @novella12nite

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 24 - Tov’s Log

Cirrus (61) vs. Himei (38) -> Cirrus Win

Follow up to Round 24 - Himei’s POV by @lookatmysillies.

————————————————————

Tov knew she was in a hospital before she even opened her eyes.

The strong smell of antiseptic.

The pinch of an IV needle in her arm.

The steady tone of the heart monitor beeping faster than normal, even with her barely conscious.

A thick fog filled Tov’s mind and muddled her thoughts.

She could feel someone’s presence at her side, a warm arm pressed against her leg.

Slowly, she forced her eyes open, squinting at the bright, white lights that greeted her.

Through her hazy vision, she could make out the familiar furnishings of a standard hospital room.

But when she looked down, it wasn’t Cassio resting at her bedside.

It was—

“Wren?”

Tov’s voice was weak and rough from lack of use; her throat dry from whatever sedative anchored her limbs to the bed.

But Wren still stirred at the rasp of her name, grey eyes fluttering open as she lifted her head from her folded arms.

“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” She asked around a yawn hidden behind her pink mask.

A flurry of questions crowded to the front of Tov’s mouth, writhing and desperate to be answered. She forced them back with a thick swallow and asked the first thing that came to mind.

“What are you doing here?” Her tone came out accusatory, but Wren didn’t seem to notice or care.

“I was leaving the hospital when some medics brought you in from the contestant dorms.” She said.

Tov frowned, “Brought me in? For what?”

“Well, uh,” Wren averted her eyes for a moment, before looking back at her.

The nervousness in her expression was clear, even with the mask covering half of her face. “Your heartbeat spiked too high and you passed out. A guard found you unconscious in your room.” She said. “The doctor said you suffered a minor cardiac event.”

The bottom of Tov’s stomach gave way.

“A heart attack?” She asked faintly.

“Something like that, yeah.” Wren’s voice sounded far away. “Cassio went to speak with them a few minutes ago.”

Tov closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the bed support her. As the fog in her head lifted, static rushed to take its place.

A heart attack?

I’m only 24. Aren’t I still too young for one of those?

Even with my condition, I’m still healthy. Well, as healthy as I can be…

“You’ve been under a lot of stress since the season started. It could’ve put more strain on your heart.” Wren said.

Tov didn’t respond.

She didn’t know what else to say.

Her head was still a mess.

Wren’s next question lanced right through her skull, “Do you remember what happened last night?”

Round 24.

A song that sounded too much like a goodbye.

Dark eyes gazing heavenward.

The echo of a single gunshot.

61 - 38

Tov could barely breathe.

“Himei’s gone…” She said, her voice broken into as many pieces as her heart.

Her eyes stung fiercely as she tried to hold back a sob.

The heavy weight of grief pressed down on her chest, threatening to cave in her rib cage and splinter the bones.

Tov’s whole body began to shake.

“Himei’s gone, and so is Tallis…” The tears came quicker, blurring her vision and shaking her already fragile voice, “And Azure and Moran and Stasya and Flor—” And Minori and Lark and Noora…

And on and on it went.

“They’re all gone and I can’t— I can’t—”

I can’t get them back.

I can never get any of them back.

And it’s so lonely without them here that it kills me.

She tried to dry her cheeks, but it was all in vain. The sobbing just got worse.

Somewhere inside of her, a dam had broken irreparably.

It was like reliving each and every death all at once.

All of the stars she’d named were gathered in her hands, burning through skin and muscle and nerve.

She couldn’t hold Himei’s too.

A hand reached out to rub her shoulder in comfort.

Wren…

Tov didn’t want to look at her.

She was afraid of the pity she’d find reflected back.

“I’m sorry about Himei, Tov.” Wren said quietly, “I know she meant a lot to you.”

A humorless laugh caught in her throat.

If that wasn’t an understatement.

Tov loved Himei.

She was in love with her.

She kissed her.

And now she was gone.

Dead.

It was just like Tallis all over again.

She’d kissed him too.

She told him she loved him too.

And he died on the same stage Himei did.

Tov had cursed them both.

She’d cursed everyone she believed in, really. Her blind faith had left a trail of bodies in its wake.

She was a black widow.

A harbinger of death.

Not a star, but a black hole, unraveling everything that got too close.

How am I supposed to keep going?

How do I stop this from hurting so much?

How am I supposed to look at the stars without apologizing for everything I’ve done?

Tov’s bones ached.

Deep in the marrow, the stardust she shared with Himei had been hollowed out.

Why do I feel like I’m dying?

“Tov…” Wren murmured.

“Stop. Please.” Tov sighed, resting her hand in her hands.

Wren’s hand dropped from her shoulder.

Silence filled the room, pressing into every nook and cranny.

Tov thought Wren was going to get up and leave.

She didn’t.

Instead, she leaned forward to rest her head on her folded arms again and waited.

Tov could feel her stare burning a hole in the side of her face, but she said nothing more.

Once the tear tracks began to dry and the sobs slowed to sniffles, Tov spoke again.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” She croaked.

Any fight left in her had drained away a long time ago.

All she wanted was for this nightmare to be over.

“So what, you’re just going to give up then?” Wren asked.

There was an edge in her voice that raised Tov’s hackles immediately.

It was pointed, almost mocking.

Her eyes snapped up to Wren’s with a start. The warmth that had been there when they first met was gone. A sharp, steely glint had taken its place.

The air around them seemed to chill.

“I beg your pardon?”

Wren’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, “I asked if you were giving up.”

“…I don’t know.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I said I don’t know!” Tov snapped.

“Would Himei have wanted you to give up?” Wren asked.

Something hot like rage flared to life under Tov’s nerve endings.

“Fuck you.”

“It’s a simple question.” Wren shrugged, far too even and composed for Tov’s liking. “And it’s one Alien Stage will force you to answer.”

She grit her teeth, “Leave Himei out of this.”

“But she’s at the heart of it, isn’t she?” Wren asked.

Tov huffed and looked away, unable to argue.

Wren took her lack of response as confirmation. “This competition is win or die, Tov. Do you want to die?”

“No.” That much she knew for sure.

“Then win.”

Tov rolled her eyes, “You make it sound so simple.”

“It won’t be hard for you.” Wren’s voice softened back into what Tov had grown used to hearing.

“You could win this whole thing if you wanted to.” She said. “But you have to want it.”

Tov looked back at Wren, “How?”

“Think of all the people you’ve lost. Who is going to remember them if you die?” Wren asked. “Not the audience. Not production. For most, not even their owners.”

Tov knew she was right.

To the aliens, humans were disposable. Interchangeable. Easily forgotten and quickly replaced.

History would only remember whoever won the season.

The rest were nothing more than a pound of flesh for sacrifice.

Wren looked Tov in the eye then; her gaze strong and steady. “Do it for them. Do it for all of the stars you named in their honor.” She said. “As long as you’re alive, you carry their memories with you and they live on too.”

A lump welled up in Tov’s throat. Her eyes burned anew, but she was all out of tears. “But I… I don’t know if I can be “the Star” anymore.”

“Then become something brighter.” She could tell Wren was smiling by the change in her voice.

“The Sun is a star too.”

————————————————————

This was by far the hardest log for me to write. Himei was Tov’s first friend ever.

Without her, Tov probably wouldn’t have opened up to and formed relationships with everyone else she came to care for.

Now Himei is gone and Tov has yet another person to grieve. It’s even harder this time because Himei is the reason why Tov started naming constellations in the first place.

She’s definitely at her lowest point right now. Hopefully Wren’s… unconventional methods helped a bit.

It did give me a chance to callback to the graduation message Tov wrote Azure ( @azureitri ) (aka the original curse victim).

Anyways, sorry this is so late! I wanted to take my time writing because Himei is so vital to understanding Tov. I really loved her as a character too 🥲

Rest in peace, Himei. Or go fight Daiki ( @daiki1k ) in hell, idk.

Congratulations @lookatmysillies, you have broken both my heart and Tov’s heart yet again.

[iid-smile]

#04 ୨ৎ ⸝⸝ @yueliie ⋆

hi yueeeee! sakura was to be expected 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ and im so sorry this took so long!! 😣 no because i actually teared up reading the message at the end? sorry im a bit of a crybaby but that was actually one of the sweetest things ive ever had said to me (im tearing up again) 6, 19 and 24 are headcanons and 8 is a drabble 😄

#06 🍰 | proposal

sakura is SO shy when it comes to him proposing, and with your personality added onto that? he can barely get his words out

tries to pick the perfect place according to what you like. he takes everything into consideration. you don't like heights? nowhere in the mountains or higher areas. you don't like bugs? nowhere where flies, beetles or ants would like to dwell. he personally wouldn't want to do it somewhere public because the amount of eyes on him would be too much

honestly he might do it at home... one of those cute proposals where you open the front door and see petals leading up to the spot (not his idea, he was pressured)

he has his plan written out step by step, and his mind shuts off when something doesn't go according to it

you need to ease the words out for him, because once he reaches 'marry', it's like he glitches. he looks really cute when he does say it though

his hand shakes so much when he tries to put the ring on you as well, they'd be all clammy and he'd constantly be trying to wipe them dry

high chances of him crying. he's just overwhelmed with emotions, and it's most likely when you hug or comfort him afterwards

#08 🍓 | helping you with your insecurities

yes, you were the one who invited him out here to try some desserts, yet the lonely slice of cake remains untouched on your plate. your fingers fiddle with the spoon in your hand, gradually warming up the metal as you could only admire the sweet treat in front of you.

lately, all of your dates have been cafes or bakeries of some sort, so the side effects of having sugar so often were beginning to make you a little paranoid, physically and mentally.

"...hacchan?" you look up at him, analysing how he rests his chin on his knuckles, looking out at pedestrians crossing by on the sidewalk.

once he hears your voice only then does he turn his head, a natural scowl on his face that he isn't even aware of. "what do you want now?" he grumbles.

your lips swerve left and right over your lips as you stall at asking the question, now placing your elbows on the table. "can you eat this for me?"

he huffs and turns away from you again, a clear flush on his face. "no way. i already ate, i'm full."

"then..." you grin slyly at the scenario already starting to form in your head. you can picture the cute, little moment you'll get with him, him carefully cutting away at the cake, handing you bite sized pieces on the spoon and giggling like lovesick fools. "will you feed it to me? makes me feel guilty doing it myself..."

"h—hah?!" in surprise, his head moves back, but only a second later does he snatch the spoon out of your hand, moving the plate of cake closer to the center of the table. "you're the one who wanted it, so don't say stupid things like that!"

"but—"

if it's possible for bright red to get brighter, then that's what's happening now. "just eat it, yue! i don't care!" his teeth grit together, starting to shovel huge chunks straight into your mouth, barely leaving you enough time to chew. there's practically steam coming from his nostrils as he tries to bear with the heat.

you can only hum with delight, just the action of him feeding you managing to send you into such bliss that you ignore the amount of aggression. once you get the time to breathe, you use the tissues provided to wipe the crumbs on your face. meanwhile, sakura clearly went into overdrive, palms coming to hide his face as he tries to steady his breath.

he's trying his best. and he also loves you no matter what you eat.

#19 🍦 | random habits

looking behind him when he walks

this is your fault btw

he's gotten so used to you sneaking up on him from behind that he gets paranoid when it doesn't happen

hates it the most when you're the one walking in front, yet he still feels as if there's someone behind him

apparently, he has to have his shoulder pressed against yours, purely for the sake of being at ease

going out of his way to show that he cares in painfully obvious ways

i do believe that sakura used to be afraid of bugs, but he forced himself to get over it for your sake. it's clear when he's scared and when he's not anyways, so he's not hiding anything (he thinks he is)

he probably read romance mangas obsessively to see what you might like.

copies what he sees other couples do too, to the point where it looks really unnatural

holding onto your sleeve

okay, both of you need to hold on to each other

his temper is a little better than yours, but you're both very prone to getting riled up at minor inconveniences and interactions

he hates it when you get into trouble, especially tor his sake

trying to be the best partner he can and protect you from danger <3

speaking the same amount as you

simple. if you talk, he'll talk. if you're silent, he's silent

he isn't the best at reading people, and isn't too sure when your silence is normal or if you're upset

he wouldn't ask you about it either way unless he knows it's something bad, so it's up to you to reassure him that you're okay, or tell him something's up

#24 🍦 | when they're jealous

sakura realllyyyyy tries to hold it in. he wants to avoid conflict when he's around you, especially if he knows that said person he saw you with didn't mean to make any moves on you

you can 100% tell when he is jealous though. either he can't keep his eyes off you, or he avoids your gaze like crazy. red ears are also a dead giveaway, and closed off body language like crossed arms

if you ask him about it, it comes out like opening a dam for the first time in ages. once he starts, he can't stop

he already gets incredibly flustered by even the most simple things, so jealousy is also common

if there had to be a time where he got really jealous for a silly reason, it was probably a time in summer where taiga killed a bug that was crawling on you

one thing tumbled into another when you ask him about it, and starts rambling about how taiga's muscles are all for show, and he can crush bugs even better than him, things like that

he can sound so sulky about it too, mumbling, looking down at the ground and everything. imagine how puffy his cheeks would get!

gets really embarrassed afterwards about how unreasonable he was acting

event masterlist

[strwberri-milk]

OMG I JUST SAW YOUR PUPPYGIRL POST SO CUTE. There's barely any rep for these babes i bow to you. Lemme get uuhhh..

Puppy boy kaeya. Accidentally gets turned into a hybrid for a day bc of albedo experiment, and he has to go ab his day with a pair of ears and a tail. His s/o finding it adorable when he absolutely melts when you scratch his ears or under his chin. Getting that special spot that just makes his leg jerk and tail wag from how good it feels

tbh i love a good beedable and submissive kaeya hes just so YUMMY ive decided to make this on the softer side rather than lewd so!! yah :D

Kaeya really thinks that he should stop drinking anything that Albedo gives him but as Diluc knows far too well, Kaeya will drink anything put down in front of him if you either ask him right, or dare him to.

Albedo said that drinking this potion would help with his research and Kaeya is nothing if not a good friend. He took it like a champ, not minding the chemical taste of a potion as he sat there and waited for something to happen. He thought the potion was a fluke, just about to ask Albedo about it until he felt this intense urge to just go for a run. Kaeya isn't unathletic by any means but he wasn't the biggest fan of running.

It wasn't until Albedo put a mirror up to his face that he realised that the potion was working. Now, placed atop his head was a pair of husky-like ears, swiveling left and right as Kaeya tried to figure out what was happening. He could hear the dull thud of his tail thumping behind him, Albedo muttering something about Kaeya being so happy he was useful that his tail was wagging.

Kaeya frowned a little as Albedo takes notes and tells him to just go home. Even if the potion was going to eventually wear off he would rather have his regular ears and no more tail, clutching it tightly to his chest to stop knocking things down in Albedo's lab. At least Dragonspine didn't seem nearly as cold as it normally would on the descent, attributing that fact to his newfound husky-dom.

He was going to complete the rest of his shift, not expecting to fel the effects of the potion too much but now he found it even more difficult to be alone. Before at least he was able to hide it, just feeling a little lonely when he had to do work by himself but now he found himself constantly itching to go bother Jean or Lisa, practically hanging off of Mika when the young man returned from another exploration as he hounded him with questions.

Nobody really seemed to mind Kaeya being more energetic than usual, the sight of his ears just letting them know it was most likely Albedo's doing. His tail was relatively controlled and he practically ran home to see you, bowling you over so quickly you can barely register he's a dog hybrid.

"I missed you so much!" he whines as soon as he's got you pinned under him, tail wagging aggressively as you stare at him.

"You have-"

"Ears and a tail, I know. Albedo's experiment backfired or something and they should be gone some time tomorrow," he responds quickly, nuzzling into your neck.

You hesitantly reach out to scratch just under his chin, grunting a little as he goes limp on your body. Kaeya melts on top of you, whimpering as you continue to scratch under his chin. He can't help the way his body sprawls out on top of you and you're just glad he didn't turn into a dog breed that tended to drool.

"Gods that feels so good don't stop," he pants, tail thumping loudly against the ground.

"You're so cute," you coo at Kaeya, finally able to get out from underneath him.

Without thinking he sits on his haunches, staring up at you to see what you'll do. You can see a mischievous glint in his eye and before he can act on whatever instinct it is he wants to you start to pet his ears and scatch his chin again, laughing as you watch his body jerk in response to the good feeling coursing through his veins.

The rest of the day was spent with you trying to use up his new boundless energy. He was quite insistent on going for a walk, or just chasing you around the house. You didn't mind at all, reveling in the affection he gave you once he caught you.

He would keep butting against you for more cuddles, pouting adorably whenever you would teasingly draw your hand away. There was nothing more he craved right now than your attention, practically jumping at you whenever you reached out to touch him.

When he's finally tired out he ends up falling asleep in the weirdest position on the bed. You can't help but take a few photos with your Kamera, totally ready to use this to tease him when he wakes up in the morning.

[ghuleh-recs]

hi! i'm a new Ghost fan and i would love to get some fic recs since i don't know where to start. 😊 i'm pretty much open to anything but something with lots of feelings (hurt/comfort), Papa IV x someone, and around 15,000 words would be great. thank you in advance 🧡

hellooo! welcome to our little satanic corner of tumblr!! i'm so sorry this took me so long—i had a tough time finding fics that matched your criteria. i hope it's okay that i focused on "feelings" more so than hurt/comfort specifically. definitely give these writers a follow if you haven't already. (i also wasn't sure what you meant by "x someone" so i threw in a mix of x reader, x ghoul, and x oc.) feel free to dm me or send another ask if i didn't get it right this time! i can also point you towards a bunch of fantastic writers ♡

recs under the cut!

x ghouls

paper armor - @ratballet - copia x dewdrop

“Horns,” Aether says quickly, like the words in his mouth are searing him. “It’s his horns.” He spares a glance at Dewdrop’s door, like he’s afraid he might be pressed up against it, listening. “He’s shedding them." Dewdrop is shedding his horns. Copia tries to help.

Steadfast Love, Not Sacrifice - @st-danger - copia x aether x dewdrop

It’s a bit like a shark smelling blood, he thinks as they follow close behind. It's natural they were going to want to taste it, too. “Well,” Copia says, “some of us need our beauty sleep.” He hesitates, and then proceeds to look nervously between the two of them and continue, “I meant me, of course. You two are already very, erm. I should go to bed.” It’s such a flimsy excuse. The elevator reaches the third floor before any of them speak again. Aether clears his throat. “You don’t want to though.” Copia looks very called out, but can’t do much more than stare, before realizing the two ghouls beside him are waiting for an actual answer of some kind. The elevator beeps as it passes the fourth floor. “No,” Copia says slowly, and Aether’s stomach does a little swoop. “I don’t.” Or, Sometimes the reward is worth the risk. *No Man Taketh From is another favorite of mine with Papa IV and Aether.

x reader

A Message From the Bulletin Board - @writingjourney - copia x reader

The ministry’s bulletin board, ordinarily used for missing items or party announcements, contains a particularly interesting request this week – a lonely hearts ad. Or: You and Copia are secretly crushing on each other. You both have to reach maximum desperation before you make a move. * if you're in it for the long haul PLEASE read I Knew Nothing But Shadows THE hurt/comfort fic of all time. you won't regret it.

Confessional - @da-rulah - copia x reader

As a sister of sin, it was your duty to confess at least once a month, to have your sins praised by a higher up member of the clergy. But you only ever chose Thursday nights, when you knew he was on duty. And tonight, you were working up the courage to confess your darkest sin - the dreams you had been having… *check out Rituale Septem while you're at it. lotsss of feelings but with Papa III, instead.

x OC

sweeter red - @anamelessfool - copia x oc

Your kiss so sweet, your sweat so sour…sometimes I’m thinking that I love you... but I know it’s only lust. Copia is a scrungly little nerd and this totally happened to him. There's something about Cardinal Marian. Maybe it's the way she infuriates him with her laissez-faire attitude, or ingnites his soul with envy of her free spirit. Rage and love, at a certain point they merge together into an overwhelming burning in the heart and mind: passion.

you found the ache in my argument (series) - @the-lisechen - copia x oc

In which two reasonable people from different religious disciplines have a conversation. (A study in faith, hope, and love.)

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, leave kudos and/or comments!

[sketchedboba]

"A Green Queen" AU

Chapter IV

A week had passed.

Luigi was getting sick of looking out from his small window at the ocean and the emptiness of his chambers only made the silence unbearable. Medicine from Bowser's castle was taken on board and he was able to treat his arm well. Kamek reassured him that the scar would heal before his monthly visit, but the scar would be noticeable.

Despite that, Bowser hadn't let him out of his room since, and he was beginning to think he'd rot in here if the few Koopa that visited him for his meals didn't keep him company. He'd befriended the cleaning Koopa named Spotty, a bit on the nose -literally- , but he was genuinely happy anytime they were the one serving him.

"Your majesty, lunch is ready."

"Oh... You can leave it on the bed.."

The Koopa set it down as they closed the door, "M-May I ask something, your majesty?"

Luigi turned to them and raised an eyebrow. He noticed the hopeful smile and nodded.

"Thank you, your majesty! I just... You've been here for more than a week and I was hoping that maybe, i-if you'd have me...", They began. "I could be your personal guard? I-I understand if you say no!"

He looked a bit shocked by the request then thought about it, "Does...". He wanted to ask about Bowser, but didn't want to have the Koopa shake in fear. "Do most royals have their own entourage?"

"Oh! Well, mainly for Junior or the Koopalings I suppose.. N-Not to say you're weak, you're majesty!", They sweated

Luigi shook his head and walked over from the window to them, only making the Koopa stiffen. "Well, I'd like that. I'm not sure if I have the authority to raise certain ranks, but I see no harm in having a guard!", he smiled.

Spotty smiled and their face flush a bit. They got on one knee and bowed their head, almost losing a bit of their balance. "I pledge my allegiance to you, your majesty."

The Queen just stood there and cleared his throat, "do I...um...."

"What are your orders?"

"None at the..moment?", He pondered. An idea struck him as he reached for his sandwich. "Oh! I'd like to send a letter to the idiot. Could you fetch me something to write with and on?"

"Of course!", They exclaimed excitedly. Spotty stood up and headed towards the door, "Before I go, thank you.."

With a goofy grin, Luigi tipped his crown, trying to emulate his iconic hat. "My pleasure!"

The Koopa looked shocked, a little smile creeping onto their lips as they headed out. The guards stationed at the doors have one another a glance as Spotty headed out.

"Should we report this?"

"I'll tell the Captain once he checks for daily reports."

"Good because my shift is almost over.."

Bowser, settled on his soft sheets, nuzzled his pillow as he yawned. Not having to worry if a tiny foot or small spike would poke him awake.

As he inhaled the ocean breeze his eyes opened slightly and he rumbled. "Mm..."

Looking at his claws, a flash of light brown stained them, yet once he blinked again there was nothing there.

'Dry blood..'

Despite a clear conscience, he remembered Kamek pointing out his insecurity and huffed. "I'm not lonely... The kids.."

He shut his eyes and tried to block out any more annoying thoughts. "Whatever.."

A few minutes later, a small knock on the door interrupted him. Bowser tried to ignore it but the knock only returned louder, he lifted his head slowly and grumbled, "What is it?!"

"A-A..L-Letter your highness.."

"From the Princess!?", His eyebrows lifted. Clear little thumps coming from his tail.

"N-No, the Queen..."

Bowser rolled his eyes, "Read it."

"oh...um. Do you want me to come inside and-"

"Oh, of course! My apologies!", He gritted sarcastically.

Unable to hear his sarcasm, the soldier reluctantly stepped in. As he did Bowser exhausted his flames, burning the Koopa to bare bones. He blinked as Bowser's growling rose, a bit amused by the interaction.

"Read it."

"R-Right.."

'Dear Bowser,

I'm tired of being locked in my room for a week, so by the time this letter reaches you, I would have taken a clown car down to visit DK. We were passing the jungle anyways and I'm sick of being inside.

Your LOVELY Queen,

Luigi'

Bowser took a deep breath, "How far are we from the Kongs?"

"About... 2 hours...."

"And when did you get this letter?"

"W-Well I was told to wait an hour.. and then I forgot about thirty minutes after getting it.. and y-your chambers are so far apart.."

Bowser's eyes gleaned in anger, "Two...HOURS!". Flames escaped sides of his jaw as he charged at the Dry Bones. It toppled over as he went through it, "GUAR-"

He fully opened his doors only to look down to see Luigi with a full look of smug delight. Bowser blinked as he stared at him for a minute.

"In a hurry?"

".........Get back to your room."

"I thought you were going somewhere, I even have a guard with me."

Bowser looked at Spotty standing cowardly beside Luigi, a spear in claw. The King's eyes filled with rage as his claws reached out wanting to crush the small plumber, but shook vigorously as he knew the consequences.

Luigi was a bit shaken up from the sudden jolt, the claws were so close, he could see little scars on them. "M-My penmanship is a bit shaky, but then again I'm using my left hand.."

"I don't care.... WHY ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ROOM?! WHAT'S WITH THIS FLIMSY NOTE?!"

"It's not flimsy! It's penmanship and I'm bored..."

The large Koopa was taken aback by the statement, "That's not my problem, there aren't any urgent matters to attend to at the moment. Kamek is in his study and we won't reach Sarasaland for another week."

"Isn't it neighboring the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"We weren't there a week ago. The Darklands have many territories and-"

"And because we were at your castle, we could either pass through and risk getting spotted by your enemies or take the back route and avoid Kong spies."

Bowser's eyebrows rose, "..... We're not avoiding... How did you.."

"Kamek left me a map to study and the ocean view from my window....", He scratched behind his neck. "It caught my attention when I didn't see anything but water.."

'He has a good eye...'

Bowser shook the thought away and looked over at the intrigued Koopa, "Since when did I give you permission to change the ranks in my army and staff?"

"I don't need your permission.. also since you put them in my care."

"I never-"

Luigi raised up a note, it was a torn page from "Royal Licensing™"

"Once a Queen has been authorized and placed into leadership, they are given the right to choose their court to serve under them. A King may only interfere if the Queen's choices disrupt the ranks or cause immediate turmoil in the kingdom."

He sighed, "Fine, you can have your pet."

"Excuse you?! They're not a pet! They are my personal guard and have been really sweet to me for the past week and a half! I'm actually surprised that you have such kind and understanding subjects that you just push around!"

As the rant continued, Bowser tuned out every word coming out of him and just looked down at the Queen.

'He talks so damned much. He's supposed to be the quiet green one, I bet I could just eat him. I wonder if he even tastes good... Human...'

"You can't go treating citizens like this! How'd you even get this many supporters?! Are they really that scared of you? You're not even that smart! I mean, handsome, but looks can only get you so far."

'I can't eat him.. wait did he call me handsome? I mean... It's true but still. What a weird one. Maybe if I pick him up he'll shut up.'

Bowser proceeded to grip the collar of Luigi's shirt like a kitten's scruff. Luigi stayed quiet, but tried to fold his arms. "You done?"

Luigi shrugged.

"I just wanted to sleep for the whole day, not hear your talk of peace and love. Quite frankly, we don't operate like that around here. Get it through your head that you're in MY kingdom. What I say goes. Now, when I put you down, you're going to go back to your room and I'm going to finish my nap."

Luigi rolled his eyes.

"Don't take that tone with me!"

Spotty's face looked baffled at this half verbal conversation. Luigi looked down and nodded.

"Finally.", Bowser rumbled. He set him down and slowly pushed the pile of bones out, "And take him with you, he's your responsibility now."

Luigi jumped when he saw the Dry Bones and shivered, " How do I..."

"Deal with it, shrimpie.", Bowser yawned.

"I'M NOT-"

His doors slammed shut as he walked in ready to lay on his bed, a breath of relief leaving his nostrils.

Before he could lay down, he felt something inching up on his tail. He tried to turn to see, but just from the mushroom smell he was furious.

As he curled up on the ground and lifted his tail, he could see Luigi struggling to stay on, actively avoiding his spikes.

Bowser tapped the cool stone floor with his claw and watched him dangle for a bit until their eyes met. His glare becoming fairly noticed as Luigi froze.

"Uh..hehehe... How's it hanging?"

"Why are you on my tail?"

"I was going to ask you something but you slammed the door!"

"I knew I should've just eaten you..", he mumbled.

"What?!"

"Im treatin' you nicely right now. You're welcome."

"That doesn't make any se-"

"WHAT do you want?"

"I don't know what to do with the... skeleton outside."

"Torture it, experiment it to your heart desire. Have Kamek wipe his memory. I. Don't. CARE. Just get out!", He roared as he whipped his tail, accidentally flinging Luigi out the window.

Luigi's shrilled scream echoed as he was falling rapidly to his death. He looked around for anything to latch onto, but could only see the castle getting further away.

Bowser blinked at the silence, not hearing a thud.

"Greenie?"

He stood on all fours and circled a bit.

"Hey! Come out here now or I'll-"

He turned his attention towards his window and tumbled over. He could see a flailing Luigi, getting smaller as the distant scream reached his ears.

"Shit."

"Ok ok, that one was on me.", Bowser apologized, sorta.

Luigi attempted to ring water out of his shirt as Spotty started pulling a Cheep Cheep off his noggin. His muffled chatter was cut off as he took a breath of fresh air.

"Sure... THAT was an accident."

Bowser grunted, "It was! No one told you to let go!"

"My arm slipped, on account of being INJURED!"

"Will you let it go?!"

The tall man just sighed as he frustratingly looked down at his wet clothes. "Why are you...so...". He gestured at his whole body. "Like this?"

The King looked confused, "What?!"

"Defensive? Brutish? Impulsive?!"

Bowser mimicked him as Luigi's back was turned and once he noticed the laughing guards, Luigi turned to him furious and red in the face, "Immature!"

The large King rolled his eyes with a small grin and laid down with a claw under his chin, "Is that really all you've got? I know what I am, and I know the princess would love to be with someone with such leading qualities."

"Is that why she ended up switching with me?", Luigi retorted smugly.

Bowser growled as he snatched him up, causing Luigi to wince from the sting in his arm, "She was just- just getting premarital jitters! It happens to the best of us! Right?!". He gestured towards his guards as they nodded agreeably.

"Right, because a princess that's ruled a kingdom most of her life is frightened by marriage to you... I can see that."

Bowser smirked, "See! Simple nerves!"

"I mean can see why she was so afraid she'd leave."

"You little!", His grip got tighter.

Luigi began to tear up, his arm just started to heal and if it reopened his clothes would reek of blood.

"Sire!", Kamek rushed over. Seeing the pain in Luigi's eyes, he quickly used his wand to remove the Queen from Bowser's claws. "I came quickly once I heard his majesty went overboard.. only to see you're trying to injure him!"

"He started it!"

"I can't leave you two alone, can I ? Nevermind the argument. I know it's your day off your highness, but we need you both ready for negotiations in Sarasaland. You both need to come with me and we'll get you started on training and the paperwork.", Kamek hummed.

Bowser sighed, "fine..."

"Splendid! Now let's go to the throne room to go over your entrance!"

"One, two, three, four. One, two-"

"oof!"

Kamek sighed, "Your majesty, try and keep up... When they announce your arrival you need to enter together!"

Luigi started to pick himself off the ground, but collapsed onto his side in defeat, "We've been at this for an hour! He's tripped me at least five times..."

Bowser snorted, "As if you could even keep up anyways."

Luigi glared at him and stood up slowly, "Fine.. one more time Kamek!"

The MagiKoopa smiled a bit, "All right, well do this again then get into the territory and resources negotiations. From the top!"

The two walked back to the base of Bowser's staircase, he extended his claw out for Luigi to place his hand on.

Luigi's heart clenched each time he felt the heated palm of the King on his hand, and as he took a deep breath Kamek began the introduction.

"Presenting! His Highness, The King and Queen of the Koopas!"

The two started to walk down the velvety carpet as Luigi held his head high, and hurriedly kept up with the scaly King.

"Y-You can breathe, your majesty..", Kamek said worriedly.

Bowser glanced down to see Luigi's puffed up cheeks as he went red in the face from holding up his chest. He snorted at the sight causing Luigi to clench his eyes shut.

Luigi let out a breath,opened his eyes, and apologized as they passed him.

Once they reached the door, Luigi's hand slowly slid down the ripples of scars and bumpy scales before he removed his hand from Bowser's claw. "Did these hurt..?"

"......."

"You two did good! A few more practices over the next week and you'll be set! Now we'll finish off with the paperwork and break for the evening!"

Bowser nodded and as he held his claw near his chest, he stared at the scars before walking out.

"Does he..."

"Fight? Often, b-but I'll let him tell those.", Kamek smiled. "Now enough mopping, let's go!".

The small Koopa poked Luigi's back, trying to lighten the mood a bit as he pushed him out of the room.

The two trailed behind the silent King, the more Luigi stared at his shell and scales, he could see small cracks and wounds.

'Who'd be stupid enough to fight him?'

Luigi thought a bit more before remembering the countless times his brother had mentioned having to save the Princess from Bowser. His eyes widened as he remembered a certain story where Mario nearly cracked the shell in half. Luigi's steps quickened and as he made his way to Bowser's side, he could see a cracked hole as big as his hand on the side of the shell. He tried to reach out and touch it, but was immediately swatted by Bowser's tail.

He held on and felt the Koopa's tail shake a bit before setting him down. Kamek gave a small smile at their interaction, but Luigi could only see Bowser's eyes glare at him and wince before turning forward to walk again.

"Sorry..."

"Don't touch me."

[endcrman]

Allostasis

(Chapter 2)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, Self-Neglect, and minor Disordered Eating

Read the whole fic here.

-

Grian woke to more messages. Some from hermits, but he didn't bother looking at those too closely, too preoccupied with the hours-old notification in the universal chat.

samgladiator: griannnnnnn

samgladiator: i know you havent blocked me grian cmon

samgladiator: are you mad about the redstone thingy? i was just goofing and gaffing you know what im like lol

Grian laid his head back against his pillow, eyes closed as he tried to figure out how to respond. His eye hurt. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to build, he didn't want to fish, he didn't want to work on anything right now. He was tired.

His comm buzzed again.

GoodTimeWithScar: hey grain, how are you doing after yesterday?

Grian: bit tired, but just fine! thanks for checking in

He was tapping out a lie before he could even think about it, not wanting to worry Scar. He had enough to concern himself with even before Grian was involved, he didn't have to add any more stressors to his plate.

Scar said something else, but Grian had closed his messages already, opening Sam's again, staring at them. What was he even supposed to say to that? Call him out on his bullshit? Laugh along with his shitty excuse of a joke? A voice in the back of his head was telling Grian to block him, but that would just make Sam mad, he reasoned.

Grian: what do you want sam

He regretted the message the instant he sent it, flinching as he turned off his comm again. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?

Grian turned over on his side, pulling a pillow over his head with a groan as the communicator buzzed. If only he hadn't just woken up, then he could fall asleep again and ignore all of this for even longer. 

Of course, Grian had no such luck. Instead he laid there, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

His comm buzzed yet again and Grian let out a bitter laugh, he could almost imagine Sam staring in anticipation at his own comm, waiting for Grian to get back to him after all this time. It was kind of pathetic, if that was what he was doing. How lonely was he?

And yet, Grian was reaching over to read his messages anyways.

samgladiator: i'm sorry.

samgladiator: like for real. no jokes. i know we were really messed up as kids and ive been working on it i promise. i guess i saw you and it just felt like we were kids again. fucked up but still in it together. i didnt mean it

He was still trying to process the words when another message came through, automatically populating the chat.

samgladiator: you can keep ignoring me if you want, i get it :( but if youre ever willing, i wanna make it up to you. text me whenever

He was going to throw up. There were a few panicked moments as he dug through his chests, silently pleading to anyone listening that he actually had a bucket up in his base, not just lost in his chest monster down below. His wishes were answered luckily, however unneeded, as he curled over the metal bucket on the floor, retching and dry heaving. His stomach was already empty, bile burning his throat, but that wasn't enough to curb the ill piercing it's way through his entire being.

Grian wasn't sure how long he sat there, bucket in his lap as his body tried to evacuate his stomach's non-existent contents. He was trembling when he finally managed to stop gagging, the bucket empty aside from a couple stray tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He was so tired again.

Shakily, he set the bucket down on the ground, easily accessible just in case. The sound of metal meeting the wooden floor was so, so loud in his ears, echoing around his base, making him flinch. Grian took a deep breath, carefully getting up on two wobbly legs before rolling into bed again. He should eat. 

He didn't get up, falling asleep again.

-

I'm sorry. Sam might as well have written those words on the inside of Grian's eyelids, as often as he was stuck thinking about them. Sam didn't apologize, that was part of what made him so insufferable to begin with, always convinced that he was in the right. So what the hell was this?

Grian wasn't sure how long it had been since he received those last messages from Sam, not really bothering with the passage of time. He'd spent most of said time thinking, turning over what had happened and what Sam had said in his head, picking at pieces of food he had laying around the base, and making up excuses to not have to see any other hermits.

He knew he was in a sorry state, and he knew he had to pull himself together before anybody saw him. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans.

“Grian!” Joel's voice was loud, Grian almost didn't recognize it as his own name, directed towards him. He pulled a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, he'd go away.

That was too much to hope for though. Why would Joel ever go away when he could cause problems instead?

“Grian! It's Sunday!” His voice was getting closer, and all Grian could think to do was hold the pillow even tighter over his head. “It's Sunday and you're not at the permit office! Get your butt out here! Or else I'll come in, and drag you out of your birdhouse by your scrawny little ankles, I swear to-'' Joel's voice peaked in both volume and proximity the same time it petered off into uncertainty. Then, it was quieter again. “Grian?”

Grian just groaned in response, holding the pillow even tighter over his head, maybe he could suffocate in it. Then he would respawn, Joel would laugh it off, call him some names for being stupid enough to do something like that, and everything would go back to normal instead of whatever else was about to happen, whatever lecture he was about to receive.

No such luck. Instead he felt a touch on his forearm, something he instinctively rolled away from which left him looking up at the other, wide eyes meeting even wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t force anything to come out. He noticed too late to stop just how tightly he was clutching the pillow to his chest, he must look like a mess.

Joel slowly withdrew his hand, and judging by how his brows furrowed and ears flattened against the top of his head the mess part was definitely true. Without wasting another moment, Joel schooled his expression into something more neutral— as if his tail flicking back and forth didn’t give him away— and sat bodily onto the foot of Grian’s bed, bouncing on the mattress.

“You seem busy, the permit office can wait,” he said with a shrug, not looking directly at Grian. He sat cross-legged, pulling his tail into his lap to brush the fur into place, pulling out a leaf and dropping it on the floor without even checking if Grian would care. His wings itched at the reminder of what could be. “Impulse’s wall is starting to get some graffiti on it, have you had a chance to see? Gem’s got a real good tag up there, I think you’d like it.”

Grian was silent, pulling his legs up just a bit so they weren’t in Joel’s way and shifting onto his back to look up at the ceiling instead of the tanuki in front of him. He couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than if the other had just confronted him about what was going on.

“I’ve actually been thinking about what I want to put on it,” Joel continued after a moment, as if the other actually had responded. Grian’s muscles ached from the sudden movements after what felt like days of disuse, leading to him stretching his legs out again, around Joel this time, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I need to put something up over by my base, I couldn’t stand it if it didn’t match my build, even if it was undeniably fantastic.”

He just kept talking, filling the empty air with his voice. Grian wouldn’t admit it, but it was sort of soothing, having somebody else around instead of just jumping from thought to thought, getting lost in them and feeling worse and worse.

It did start feeling awkward after a little, having Joel sit while he laid in bed, so Grian forced himself to sit up even as his muscles protested, at least a little, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Thought you might have fallen asleep or something,” Joel joked once Grian had settled, making him look away in embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, you look blummin’ tired, huge bags under your eyes. Something bothering you?” He asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Grian only shrugged, not trusting his voice after so long, thankfully Joel didn’t push for an answer beyond that, coming to the same conclusion. “Stupid question, sorry. New question, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

Grian must have made a face at that, because Joel laughed before managing to catch himself, snapping his mouth shut, which pulled the quietest huff of laughter out of Grian in turn. Just that by itself made his throat hurt a bit.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be a good friend here.” Joel’s tone was light, and his smile made it clear he considered the small noise a success. “Hey, bed boy, let’s get you up and clean, how’s that sound? You go shower, and I’ll make you some real food.”

He wanted to protest, but his throat felt all closed up, and his traitor of a stomach growled at the thought of something other than stale bread for the first time in forever. Instead he pouted, petulant, and held his hands out.

“Yes!” Joel pumped his fist, making Grian roll his eyes. This was so stupid. “Sorry, come on, let’s get you moving again.” He slid off the bed first, taking Grian’s hands and helping him stand up. He almost fell at first, leaning far too much of his weight onto Joel, his legs wanting to do nothing but lay down again. “Careful, can you stand by yourself?”

It took a couple hundred ticks for him to stop swaying, and a couple more for him to finally stand on his own, wings spread just a bit to help him keep balance. He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything but said wings.

“Good job, you’re doing great,” Joel murmured, and it didn’t sound mocking at all, but Grian couldn’t help himself from ruining everything good that happened to him.

“I’m not a child,” he croaked out, voice rough from disuse, it almost didn’t sound like him.

Joel must have thought the same, because he looked shocked, though he quickly gathered himself again. “I know you’re not,” he scolded gently, too kind, “but you look like you’ve been through hell and back, and I want to make this as easy for you as possible."

And now he felt bad, guilty, for ever considering anything different than that. “Sorry,” he managed, even quieter, but Joel shook his head.

“Go get cleaned up, alright? I’ll make some food for you.” He brushed Grian’s hair out of his eyes, brows furrowing again, and he only pulled away when Grian nodded, throat hurting too much to say anything else at the moment.

He didn’t think Joel was going to find anything to make in his base right now, having neglected to actually fill many of the chests, Grian was lucky to have had enough bread to last him as long as it had. Regardless, he made his way to the tiny shower he’d managed to cram into the base, cranking the water heat up as high as it could for now and carefully pulling his t-shirt he’d been wearing for void knows how long off over his wings. He crinkled his nose, imagining the smell he’d become blind to and immediately feeling grateful that Joel hadn’t said anything about it.

Grian kicked off his pants without much fanfare and immediately dove into the shower, melting under the hot water. Now that he was made aware of it, he could feel the layer of grime that was surely there covering his skin, burning water finally melting it away. He carefully sat on the floor of the shower, barely managing to fit in the small space, especially with his wings. He took a deep breath, resting his head on the wall behind him, and just soaked it up like a fish left out of the river for too long, he chuckled softly to himself at the comparison.

He must have dozed off or something, because he jolted awake at the sharp knock on the door, and Joel's voice coming from just outside of it. “You alright in there Grian? Food’s almost done!”

“Y-yeah!” He called back before even thinking about it, regretting it immediately, voice scratchy. His throat hurt, but he didn't have time to worry about that, fumbling for the shampoo among the other bottles in the shower with him.

He definitely spent too much time just sitting under the water, so he tried to properly clean himself up as quickly as possible, so Joel wouldn't be left waiting. It wasn't long before he was out again, towel around his waist, hair and feathers dripping as he peeked out the door into the rest of the base.

“Joel?” He tried not to speak too loudly, not wanting to irritate his throat more, but he needed the other's attention. It seemed the other wasn't wandering far though, with how quickly he reappeared. “Can you-” He coughed. “Can you bring me clean clothes?”

Joel brightened up the more he spoke, nodding quickly as his tail swished behind him. “Of course! Be right back!” And he was off again.

He was back just as quick, and Grian didn't have the energy to ask him how he managed to find everything so easily, and whether or not his closet was left in decent state. Instead he closed the bathroom door again, pulling on clean clothes and already feeling a bit better. The sweater topped that feeling off, covering him like a security blanket. He shook the water out of his hair and wings before padding out into the main room again, catching a whiff of something that smelled amazing.

“Hey,” Grian's gaze fell on Joel, who was setting up a place for him to sit. “Your hair's a mess still.”

He blushed, shrugging his shoulders. He sat down before Joel even suggested he did, feeling tired.

“I can brush it for you,” he offered, setting down a grilled salmon in front of Grian, whose mouth was watering already. “I've done it for Lizzie before, I promise not to pull.”

“Did you catch this?” Grian asked instead, forcing himself to slow down before he ate the whole thing immediately.

“Borrowed one of your poles, figured you wouldn't mind too much,” Joel explained, setting a steaming mug down in front of him too.

He hummed softly in response, forcing himself to slow down after a couple bites and taking a sip of the tea Joel had made him. Far too sweet.

“I added some extra honey,” either Joel was reading his mind, or he'd made a face without realizing. “Your throat sounded pretty rough, it'll be good for you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, truly meaning it, whether it sounded that way or not. Joel was pretty quiet while he finished eating, puttering around the small base, occupying himself. Eventually he finished, pushing the plate away for later, and he heard Joel coming up behind him.

“I found your brush, mind if I take care of your hair?”

Grian sighed, a little smile creeping onto his face. “I guess, you promised not to pull though,” he reminded the other, head tilting back a bit.

“And I meant it!” Joel sounded offended, though he snickered after a second. “It'll help, you'll feel more like a person,” he murmured, and Grian felt him starting to work his fingers through his hair.

“You've been helping a lot already,” Grian admitted softly, relaxing easily into the touch. How long was his hair now? It couldn't be too much longer than he usually kept it.

“Glad to hear,” for once Joel didn't sound smug or full of himself, just genuinely glad. “How long have you been out of it?” The brush started working it's way through his hair.

“Dunno,” Grian mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Since… Since I last went off server,” he felt himself tense a little at the reminder, wings twitching.

“With Scar and Mumbo?” Joel kept his tone even, non-judgemental for once. “They mentioned your eye, was that what happened?”

A hand suddenly flew up to his eye, gently touching the skin near it. “P-part of it. Is it still there?” He'd been avoiding looking in the mirror since.

“Barely,” Joel assured him, and the motion of the brush through his hair started relaxing him again. “I only noticed because I knew to look for it. You said part, what else happened?”

He felt like his throat was closing up, eyes watering a little. “My- my wings,” he managed out, taking a deep breath. “Something happened.”

“Something,” Joel repeated, hands never stopping. “Are they alright? Nothing broken at least? They don't look broken.”

“N-nothing broken,” Grian confirmed, feeling them tremble, just a little. “Don't really wanna-”

“That's fine,” Joel murmured, and it was quiet for a moment. “With me? Or with anyone?”

He didn't know how to answer that, opening his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it when he couldn't think of anything. No, not Joel specifically, but he wasn't sure who, if he would anyone.

“I usually braid Lizzie's hair when I'm done,” Joel said nonchalantly, the brush regretfully leaving Grian's head, “but yours is pretty short. We could try a little ponytail if you want, I think it'd be fun.”

Grian shook his head, reaching for the mug of tea again. Knowing Joel, he'd gather up all the hair in front of his head, pull it all together right on his forehead… Though maybe not today specifically.

There was silence for a bit, comfortable, until Joel decided to speak again. “Would you tell Mumbo?”

Grian froze. Would he? He could. Mumbo knew the kind of stuff he went through when he was young, even if just vaguely. He was scared though, there was always the chance, no matter how small, that Mumbo would scold him when he found out just how deep that rabbit hole went.

“Careful, you'll shatter that,” Joel warned him, moving to take the mug from his white-knuckled hands, setting it down on the table again. Grian hadn't even noticed how tightly he'd been holding onto it. “Not Mumbo then, what about Scar?”

Scar. Scar didn't know any of it. At least, he knew less than Mumbo, he'd have less context clues to put it all together, he'd be reliant on the details Grian told him, and only those.

“... Maybe, I don't know,” he answered honestly, tracing the grain in the table with his finger.

“Maybe is better than no, or trying to shatter a cup of boiling tea all over yourself,” Joel was being dramatic, it wasn't even steaming anymore. “Why don't you take a nap? I'll get him over here in the meantime, I think he'll help, even if you don't tell him.”

Grian hadn't even realized how tired he was again, the thought of a nap sounding much more pleasing to him than it usually would. He didn't even think to argue, nodding as he carefully got up from the table, a yawn escaping him.

“Careful now,” Joel warned, helping him to bed. Grian would have taken offense at that were he not so exhausted, and the second he was laying down again he was out like a light.