#alnst oc: wren

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 24 - Tov’s Log

Cirrus (61) vs. Himei (38) -> Cirrus Win

Follow up to Round 24 - Himei’s POV by @lookatmysillies.

————————————————————

Tov knew she was in a hospital before she even opened her eyes.

The strong smell of antiseptic.

The pinch of an IV needle in her arm.

The steady tone of the heart monitor beeping faster than normal, even with her barely conscious.

A thick fog filled Tov’s mind and muddled her thoughts.

She could feel someone’s presence at her side, a warm arm pressed against her leg.

Slowly, she forced her eyes open, squinting at the bright, white lights that greeted her.

Through her hazy vision, she could make out the familiar furnishings of a standard hospital room.

But when she looked down, it wasn’t Cassio resting at her bedside.

It was—

“Wren?”

Tov’s voice was weak and rough from lack of use; her throat dry from whatever sedative anchored her limbs to the bed.

But Wren still stirred at the rasp of her name, grey eyes fluttering open as she lifted her head from her folded arms.

“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” She asked around a yawn hidden behind her pink mask.

A flurry of questions crowded to the front of Tov’s mouth, writhing and desperate to be answered. She forced them back with a thick swallow and asked the first thing that came to mind.

“What are you doing here?” Her tone came out accusatory, but Wren didn’t seem to notice or care.

“I was leaving the hospital when some medics brought you in from the contestant dorms.” She said.

Tov frowned, “Brought me in? For what?”

“Well, uh,” Wren averted her eyes for a moment, before looking back at her.

The nervousness in her expression was clear, even with the mask covering half of her face. “Your heartbeat spiked too high and you passed out. A guard found you unconscious in your room.” She said. “The doctor said you suffered a minor cardiac event.”

The bottom of Tov’s stomach gave way.

“A heart attack?” She asked faintly.

“Something like that, yeah.” Wren’s voice sounded far away. “Cassio went to speak with them a few minutes ago.”

Tov closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the bed support her. As the fog in her head lifted, static rushed to take its place.

A heart attack?

I’m only 24. Aren’t I still too young for one of those?

Even with my condition, I’m still healthy. Well, as healthy as I can be…

“You’ve been under a lot of stress since the season started. It could’ve put more strain on your heart.” Wren said.

Tov didn’t respond.

She didn’t know what else to say.

Her head was still a mess.

Wren’s next question lanced right through her skull, “Do you remember what happened last night?”

Round 24.

A song that sounded too much like a goodbye.

Dark eyes gazing heavenward.

The echo of a single gunshot.

61 - 38

Tov could barely breathe.

“Himei’s gone…” She said, her voice broken into as many pieces as her heart.

Her eyes stung fiercely as she tried to hold back a sob.

The heavy weight of grief pressed down on her chest, threatening to cave in her rib cage and splinter the bones.

Tov’s whole body began to shake.

“Himei’s gone, and so is Tallis…” The tears came quicker, blurring her vision and shaking her already fragile voice, “And Azure and Moran and Stasya and Flor—” And Minori and Lark and Noora…

And on and on it went.

“They’re all gone and I can’t— I can’t—”

I can’t get them back.

I can never get any of them back.

And it’s so lonely without them here that it kills me.

She tried to dry her cheeks, but it was all in vain. The sobbing just got worse.

Somewhere inside of her, a dam had broken irreparably.

It was like reliving each and every death all at once.

All of the stars she’d named were gathered in her hands, burning through skin and muscle and nerve.

She couldn’t hold Himei’s too.

A hand reached out to rub her shoulder in comfort.

Wren…

Tov didn’t want to look at her.

She was afraid of the pity she’d find reflected back.

“I’m sorry about Himei, Tov.” Wren said quietly, “I know she meant a lot to you.”

A humorless laugh caught in her throat.

If that wasn’t an understatement.

Tov loved Himei.

She was in love with her.

She kissed her.

And now she was gone.

Dead.

It was just like Tallis all over again.

She’d kissed him too.

She told him she loved him too.

And he died on the same stage Himei did.

Tov had cursed them both.

She’d cursed everyone she believed in, really. Her blind faith had left a trail of bodies in its wake.

She was a black widow.

A harbinger of death.

Not a star, but a black hole, unraveling everything that got too close.

How am I supposed to keep going?

How do I stop this from hurting so much?

How am I supposed to look at the stars without apologizing for everything I’ve done?

Tov’s bones ached.

Deep in the marrow, the stardust she shared with Himei had been hollowed out.

Why do I feel like I’m dying?

“Tov…” Wren murmured.

“Stop. Please.” Tov sighed, resting her hand in her hands.

Wren’s hand dropped from her shoulder.

Silence filled the room, pressing into every nook and cranny.

Tov thought Wren was going to get up and leave.

She didn’t.

Instead, she leaned forward to rest her head on her folded arms again and waited.

Tov could feel her stare burning a hole in the side of her face, but she said nothing more.

Once the tear tracks began to dry and the sobs slowed to sniffles, Tov spoke again.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” She croaked.

Any fight left in her had drained away a long time ago.

All she wanted was for this nightmare to be over.

“So what, you’re just going to give up then?” Wren asked.

There was an edge in her voice that raised Tov’s hackles immediately.

It was pointed, almost mocking.

Her eyes snapped up to Wren’s with a start. The warmth that had been there when they first met was gone. A sharp, steely glint had taken its place.

The air around them seemed to chill.

“I beg your pardon?”

Wren’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, “I asked if you were giving up.”

“…I don’t know.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I said I don’t know!” Tov snapped.

“Would Himei have wanted you to give up?” Wren asked.

Something hot like rage flared to life under Tov’s nerve endings.

“Fuck you.”

“It’s a simple question.” Wren shrugged, far too even and composed for Tov’s liking. “And it’s one Alien Stage will force you to answer.”

She grit her teeth, “Leave Himei out of this.”

“But she’s at the heart of it, isn’t she?” Wren asked.

Tov huffed and looked away, unable to argue.

Wren took her lack of response as confirmation. “This competition is win or die, Tov. Do you want to die?”

“No.” That much she knew for sure.

“Then win.”

Tov rolled her eyes, “You make it sound so simple.”

“It won’t be hard for you.” Wren’s voice softened back into what Tov had grown used to hearing.

“You could win this whole thing if you wanted to.” She said. “But you have to want it.”

Tov looked back at Wren, “How?”

“Think of all the people you’ve lost. Who is going to remember them if you die?” Wren asked. “Not the audience. Not production. For most, not even their owners.”

Tov knew she was right.

To the aliens, humans were disposable. Interchangeable. Easily forgotten and quickly replaced.

History would only remember whoever won the season.

The rest were nothing more than a pound of flesh for sacrifice.

Wren looked Tov in the eye then; her gaze strong and steady. “Do it for them. Do it for all of the stars you named in their honor.” She said. “As long as you’re alive, you carry their memories with you and they live on too.”

A lump welled up in Tov’s throat. Her eyes burned anew, but she was all out of tears. “But I… I don’t know if I can be “the Star” anymore.”

“Then become something brighter.” She could tell Wren was smiling by the change in her voice.

“The Sun is a star too.”

————————————————————

This was by far the hardest log for me to write. Himei was Tov’s first friend ever.

Without her, Tov probably wouldn’t have opened up to and formed relationships with everyone else she came to care for.

Now Himei is gone and Tov has yet another person to grieve. It’s even harder this time because Himei is the reason why Tov started naming constellations in the first place.

She’s definitely at her lowest point right now. Hopefully Wren’s… unconventional methods helped a bit.

It did give me a chance to callback to the graduation message Tov wrote Azure ( @azureitri ) (aka the original curse victim).

Anyways, sorry this is so late! I wanted to take my time writing because Himei is so vital to understanding Tov. I really loved her as a character too 🥲

Rest in peace, Himei. Or go fight Daiki ( @daiki1k ) in hell, idk.

Congratulations @lookatmysillies, you have broken both my heart and Tov’s heart yet again.

[lookatmysillies]

ALNST S40 OCs Naz & Yael Official Profiles

Since I never actually posted their official profiles, here are their profiles & assets for @season40! Once again, art for both by @rockwgooglyeyes, he does lots of amazing oc art over on his blog!

Yael and Naz have both lost people very dear to them (Akane @aakaneeee & Macbeth @alien-til-i-stage, respectively) shortly before their season and are dealing with the fallout as they hit the stage. Their closest confidants at the time of S40 are Can @14-alc (warily reciprocated) and Inna (wildly one-sided) for Yael and Wren @ivanttakethis (Naz likes to act like it's one-sided) for Naz

By S40, they share a guardian, Guardian Ebej. Naz was Ebej's first pet human and he was intrigued by her outbursts and uncontrollable fluxes of emotion. He purchased Yael after Yael's guardian sold them, exhausted of having to deal with Yael's strange and morbid behaviors. Ebej further encouraged Yael's mental illness and fueled his delusions by sending him on a "mission" after graduation from Anakt Garden to spread the word about the Great Anakt, which Yael claims to have seen firsthand from two near-death experiences (one when they were a small child and tried to end their own life by drowning themselves, only saved by Can; then again before graduation when they acquired a bad concussion in a physical fight with Inna).

Here are their pictures for the brackets:

[verdantlights]

TW for brief mention of SA, abuse, and panic attacks.

Bumblebees are out - Jack Stauber

♧ Clove ♧

Green is Clove

Blue is Aster - @apriciticreveries

Orange is Wren - @ivanttakethis

Purple is Cindy - @tsukacchako

Macbeth - @alien-til-i-stage

Sebastian - @sotogalmo

Clove's most recent owner, Ignis. Abandoned him at ANAKT at 15 years old. He was visually beaten and bruised, cuts and gashes visible through tattered clothing. He looked lifeless. The administrators who handled him were... a bit concerned, but couldn't do anything to help him yet. The only thing Ignis said before handing all ownership over to ANAKT was, "Keep her hair long and keep her piercings in. Don't let her take them out."

And so began Clove's recovery at ANAKT. The admins were thankfully kind towards Clove, and helped him recover as well as put him in physical therapy for wrongly-healed fractured ankles.

Clove was silent for a while, the light in his eyes was dark. Everyone was referring to him as a girl and he couldn't say anything about it. His voice wouldn't come out, he was too scared.

But little by little, he regained hope. He ended up in speech therapy too, which helped a lot. Soon enough he was giving rough bits and pieces about Ignis' treatment towards Clove as well as Clove's preferred identity. They acclimated decently, able to edit a few things on his chart for future admins to see. As for Ignis' treatment, they weren't surprised to hear the things he had done. A lot of human pet owners treating their pets like sex toys, punching bags, and/or slaves is nothing new.

From what they've gathered, Clove endured all three. He was forced to be a young girl and to do everything Ignis asked of him. It was torture. He had to endure it for roughly 2 years.

They learned how Clove's eye became defective. He had a nasty beating and was left with a gash through his right eye leaving it black, bruised, and swollen. It got infected and wasn't treated. He had a parasite eat its way through his eye and by the time he was finally taken to a doctor, he was already blind in his right eye. Thankfully it was removed before any further damage was done.

...

...Making friends at ANAKT was a nice change, too. He found a lot of people he liked and some he... didn't quite like. He can be found in a patch of grass weaving flower crowns for anyone who wants one, his shaking hands turning stems in and out, over and under. He repeats the motion until his hands start to cramp.

Sometimes he'll accidentally break a stem... somewhere in his mind he hears the snap of his ankles and the scream he let out after, but he's not there anymore. He picks another flower.

He found someone who's presence is very calming, someone named Aster. He finds it quite ironic that their name is also that of a flower. He likes to braid flowers into their hair and likes to sing and dance with them. They can't see very well, but Clove doesn't care. He likes to help them during the day, if they feel like Clove is crowding them, they never say anything. In fact, Aster seems to enjoy the help Clove provides.

♧

"I hope I can see you one day. Maybe when I get you out of Alien Stage."

"Alien Stage? What's that?"

"...You... oh no..."

"Aster...? What's Alien Stage...?"

They stay silent for a while, contemplating their next words carefully. Unfortunately,, there's not a good way to put it.

"Do you know what our singing practice is for? It's for Alien Stage. Once it's your time to participate... you'll be sent off to compete. If you lose a round by unpopular vote... they kill you on stage. It's all for the entertainment of the aliens. I'm not here to participate, only to train. But you... I need to get my owner to adopt you, so you can be free."

Clove's head was swimming. He felt dizzy. He was going to die? He would go up on stage and sing his heart out to an audience of aliens, only to be voted against and killed?

His breathing became quicker and heavier. His hands were shaking again. He felt lightheaded and everything was too bright. His vision was blurred,,, no those were tears. He quickly stood from the bench he was sitting on, forgetting his ankles were still faulty. Tripping backwards, he lands on his back, punching the air out of his lungs. He curls in on himself, deaf to Aster calling his name frantically.

HewasgoingtodiehewasgoingtodiehewasgoingtodiehewasgoingtodiehewasgoingtodieHEWASGOINGTOFUCKINGDIE.

♧

When he wakes, hes lying on his back, facing the too bright sky of ANAKT garden. His head was pounding, but he could see familiar face above him. He made out Aster, Cindy, and Wren circling him, he also swore he saw Macbeth and Seb in the back watching worridly.

"You okay, Clove?"

"Yeah, you seemed to hit the ground pretty hard, does anything hurt... too bad?"

Clove groans, sitting up slowly. He tries to hold his head up with his hands, but notices that one of them is being held by Aster. He feels his face heat up a little bit, but deflates when he remembers why he's on the ground in the first place.

"Alien Stage..."

Everyones face twists in disdainful knowing.

"Is that what got you to freak out? I thought you knew?"

"He didn't. I guess... he was never told."

"Is... Is there anything we can do to help you, Clove?"

"I just wanna sleep. My head hurts. Sorry for scaring all of you."

He stands on wobbly feet, Wren immediately standing to stablize him. He mumbles a 'thank you' as Wren helps him get back to his room.

He doesn't sleep very well, needless to say.

♧

[neverforgetyou]

"aw a hug! im so honored!"

wren by @ivanttakethis

[ivanttakethis]

Tov would go with Himei and Tallis (of course) and she’d wear a celestial themed dress (left).

Wren would tag along with the trio and also wear a celestial dress, but in a different style and color palette (right).

Sun and Moon imagery!! Yippee!!

- If Eddy is hanging with the group, Wren would be very interested in getting to know them. Especially if they’re wearing their face mask because Wren wears one too (same hat!)

- Tov would only get up to dance if Himei or Tallis ask her to. Otherwise, she’s content to people watch, listen to the music, and talk to whichever friends are nearby (ie: Moran, Dian, Nyx, etc.)

- Wren loves to dance so she’d hit the dance floor as soon as a song she loves comes on. She’d probably kick off her heels early in the evening.

- Tov criticizes the DJ’s music selection.

- Wren keeps annoying the DJ with song requests.

- Tov’s social battery drains quickly and she winds up leaning against either Himei or Tallis for support.

- Wren chats with any and everyone there, even if they’re in Tov’s class.

- Tov somehow ends up as the “table watcher”, guarding drinks, holding purses, phones, and at one point Dian’s wallet. She considers stealing the money he has, but Tallis takes the wallet before she can.

- Wren drags Tov over to the photo booth for pictures. Tov won’t admit it, but she enjoys the experience and even smiles at the camera.

can I start something. alnst oc anakt 39/40 prom. what would they wear. who would they go with. how would things play out.....

[season40]

Welcome to ALNST Season 40!

hello! i’m june, the admin of this account! my main blog is @junebluues. here’s some organizational tags i will be using on this blog:

#! round matchups -> for anything regarding the round brackets!

#! round [number] -> this is going to be for easier searching, mostly

#! official round -> for the real rounds that aren't for the silly (canon)

#! unofficial round -> for the rounds that are for the silly (not canon)

#! asks

#! reblog

#! announcements -> announcements can be made at any time! please send me an ask at any time if your oc will be escaping before their round so i can make a proper announcement at the time of your choosing. if there are any other things you’d like me to announce, you can send those over as well!

#! juneposting -> basically things related to me running this blog but not related to any of the rounds or announcements. think of this as me going ooc, in a way? i can't explain it til it happens 😭

(this is subject to change as the season goes on)

i'm not alone in running s40, by the way! i'm only running the blog. so far, zen ( @zerostyrant ) and plip ( @pwippy ) have both offered their help!

here is the masterdoc for all the characters (s39 to some of 41):

participating S40 ocs:

innamorati / @alien-til-i-stage

toki / @eventseraphim ( @zerostyrant )

clove / ^

yumi / @imperfectnothing ( @rockwgooglyeyes )

asuka / ^

dante / ^^

sebastian / @sotogalmo

eeta / ^

naz / @lookatmysillies ( @bluemoonscape )

yael / ^

monica / @nottoonedin

isla / ^

yvonne / @thorny-chaparral ( @aakaneeee )

eliana / ^

atlas / ^^

aamon / ^^^

zero / @myworld-collapsing ( @apriciticreveries )

asahi / ^

ciaran / @starry-skiez

yuna / ^

eri / ^^

casimir / ^^^

jiu / @severedscales

kioku / ^

numa / my oc!

xael / ^

sirius / ^^

brandon / @neverforgetyou ( @tsukacchako )

willow / ^

mentha / @rosedeleca

ambrosia / ^

mill / @waterydream ( @amuseables )

wren / @ivanttakethis

juliet / @yunoftheclouds

gaia / @subzeromoron

leto / @paradisedisconcert

can / ^

clementine / @chevalperd

maya / @cloverandstuff

ava / @tinypaperstar

if anyone needs me to update this list, please tell me!

other:

please try and send me round songs in advance! if not, i completely understand!

hello,, creators of the s40 announcers... would you like me to use them in announcements in the season? i'm rather confused of their roles in this all, please tell me what you'd like me to do with them.

if there is any lore you need me to know in advance, please don't be afraid to tell me!

don't be afraid to spam notifs on here. the season can get hectic, and i don't mind waking up to people freaking out over rounds

i will sometimes need breaks, please understand! i'll let everyone know when i'll be taking a leave. i think i'll still implement the 1 week breaks between rows. we will still be taking 1 day breaks in between rounds like season 39.

be patient with me! i might sometimes release rounds late. i'm sorry if that happens!

please send me your oc's icons, or any art you'd like to use as their round profile! it would be very helpful!

zen is doing the season bracket, not me! please thank zem for zeir hard work <3 more information on this is in this post!

please enjoy season 40! i'm going to try and see when this should start after s39, and i really want to give everyone enough time to get stuff done. thank you!

OFFICIAL ROUND MATCHUP LIST

(this post may update in the future.)

[ivanttakethis]

Post Season 39 - Tov’s Log

————————————————————

Tov was not a morning person.

Wren, however, was a morning person.

As evidenced by the fact that she came back to Tov’s hospital room as soon as visitation opened the next day.

She’d barely given Tov twelve hours to process everything, let alone sleep.

“Rise and shine, Stargazer!” Wren chirped as she entered the room.

Tov groaned.

“Not much of an early riser?”

“It has to be nighttime to see the stars, so no.” She said flatly.

Wren chuckled, “You really haven’t changed much at all. You and Prem were always night owls, even back then.”

She threw open the curtains without so much as a warning, flooding the room with the rich yellow sunlight of the early morning.

Tov shielded her eyes, pulling the thin sheets over her head. “Could you not?”

“Nope!” Wren’s tone is far too cheery for her liking. “Cassio said they wanted you up early today. Not sure why, but I was already coming by, so it was no big deal to drop in early.”

Great, Cassio is up to something.

Tov couldn’t complain, she needed to talk to them about the deal she made with Dian sooner rather than later.

As of now, they were fake dating.

Though they still needed to figure out how to announce their “relationship” to the public… and to Nyx.

Tov had no idea how he’d take it.

Hopefully not too poorly, considering Dian was very much gay and very much in love with him.

Pathetically so, Tov had said once.

She hoped Tallis would react to the news similarly. Even if he didn’t have the context that she and Dian’s relationship was explicitly fake.

Tov emerged from her cocoon under the sheets, “Did Cassio say what time they were coming?”

“Nothing specific, just ‘in the morning’.” Wren said, making an air quote gesture.

She pulled up a chair right next to Tov’s bedside and tugged gently at one of her braids, “In the meantime, we can take these diamonds out of your hair. I’m sure they’re worth quite a bit of money.”

Oh, that’s right.

Tov’s hair was still done up from her Round 30 performance.

That felt like so long ago, even though it hadn’t been a full day yet.

Her life could now be split into two halves: Before Alien Stage and After Alien Stage.

She didn’t think she would ever see the after part.

But while the competition was over for her, it was just getting started for Wren.

Soon, all of her classmates would run the same gauntlet as Tov’s did, and only a few would come out alive.

Wren knew about the people Tov had loved and lost to Alien Stage, but she didn’t know anything about those close to Wren, aside from Elias and Prem.

How do I even start this conversation?

“Do you have friends?” She asked, before immediately regretting her choice of words.

Wren barked out a laugh, bright and joyous. She didn’t seem to mind Tov shoving her foot in her mouth. “I do! I have lots of friends, actually.”

Tov grabbed one of her braids and busied herself with detangling the small diamond woven within it, “Tell me about them.” She said.

“Hmmm, where to start… Oh! Cindy.” She can hear the smile in Wren’s voice. “Cindy was very, very sweet. She always made an effort to talk to everyone in our class. One time, she made everyone flower crowns from flowers out in the Garden. I still have mine somewhere; dried, of course.”

Was? Tov’s mind catches on the tense. Did something happen to Cindy? Did she die?

Wren didn’t elaborate, already on to the next person.

“Then there’s Toki. He’s a really good dancer. He can be pretty… intense sometimes, but we’re cool. As long as you’re chill, he’s chill too.” She said. “And he’s really into this guy named Innamorati — Inna for short — who’s very outgoing and big into theatre. We get along well for the most part, but he can also be kind of a bitch sometimes. I guess he’s more of a frenemy than a straight up friend.”

Tov chuckled to herself. That dynamic sounded a bit like her and Dian.

“Aster was kind of crazy when we were kids, but in a silly way. Tons of fun to be around.” Wren’s hands never stopped moving, even as she continued to speak at length. “Even though they’re much more calm and mellow nowadays, I still like spending time with them. They’re also blind, so if we hang out it’s usually just talking.”

“Sometimes the best connections are mostly hanging out and talking.” Tov said, thinking about her relationship with Nyx.

They spent a lot of time in each other’s company just talking. And he was one of the closest people to her.

“They’re close with this guy named Clove. He’s very vibrant, like the Sun. It draws you in so easily.”

Sounds like Solei.

Always smiling.

A light to others.

You can’t help but gravitate toward it.

Is Clove hiding parts of himself like they did?

“Zhuli is with Aster most of the time, kind of like a guide, though he doesn’t talk much. Kinda shy. He says I have a sisterly vibe, and I think he has a brotherly one.” Wren hummed, setting five diamonds on the side table. “Oh, Zhuli isn’t competing in the season, by the way. He’s actually going to be an announcer with another classmate of ours, Faisal.”

“Faisal?” Tov repeated.

Why does that name sound familiar?

“Yeah, yeah, his sister was that girl from your season. Flor.”

Tov’s heart ached.

Now she remembered.

Flor once mentioned that she had a brother named Faisal.

Maybe one day I could meet him.

But what would I even say?

“Sorry about your sister. She was like a sister to me too, but I never got the chance to tell her that.”

No. Absolutely not.

“Fai can be prickly, and distant. But he’s just got a lot of walls up. I’m wearing him down though.” She chuckled.

The pain in Tov’s chest eased a bit.

Just like you wore me down.

“And Yumi, of course! She’s about your height and is just the cutest thing ever.” Wren cooed, like she wasn’t the same height as her. “I think her and Cindy may have been separated at birth. They’re both sweethearts who love flowers. Yumi is actually the one who taught me how to preserve the flower crown Cindy made, plus the rose she gave me for my birthday one year. She’s also really good at acting.”

It sounded like Wren had the same sisterly fondness for Yumi that Tov had for Flor.

Tov could only hope things wouldn’t end as tragically.

Wren’s tone changed to something more affectionate, and she sighed wistfully, “Then there’s Naz.”

Just by the way Wren said the name, Tov knew Naz was different from the other friends mentioned before.

It sounded a little familiar too.

Tov couldn’t place it.

“Naz is like a firecracker. Like a rocket in a bottle.” Wren said. “She’s so passionate and expressive with her emotions that when you look into her eyes, it’s like watching a supernova.”

Ah.

Wren is in love with that girl.

Tov knew without a shadow of a doubt.

Even if Naz didn’t.

Even if Wren didn’t.

It reminded her too much of her and Himei to be completely platonic.

“And Asuka. I met him through Naz.” Her inflection changes slightly, and it catches Tov’s attention. “He’s… complicated, or at least comes across that way sometimes. But I know he’s been through a lot, so I don’t judge on that. He can be easygoing most of the time and I think he understands me a bit more than some of the others.”

Maybe Asuka wasn’t complicated. But rather, Wren felt complicated about him.

That would explain her change in tone.

She was conflicted.

Tov could relate.

When she first started to realize Tallis saw her and understood her in a way that made her feel vulnerable, she was uneasy about it.

Having someone understand you, maybe even better than you understand yourself, and coming to terms with that can be complicated.

It’s even worse when you love them too.

Tov had seen this story play out before.

She’d lived it.

Tallis was to Tov what Asuka was to Wren. She was sure of that.

Please, be kinder to them than you were to me.

There was a brief knock at the door before Cassio swept into the room with a shrewd smile, “Good morning ladies.”

“Good morning.”

“Morning!”

“Apologies for running a little late, I had some last minute things to finish up in preparation for the press conference.” They said, gracefully settling down on the small sofa.

“What press conference?” Tov asked.

Cassio practically beamed at the question, “The press conference announcing your recovery, Star Child. It’s the start of your media campaign.”

“What media campaign?” Tov felt like she was stuck repeating everything.

“You are a rare breed, Tov. I don’t know of any previous Alien Stage contestants who’ve survived like you did.” They said. “This is a chance to show the public and the competition that contestants still have value even if they don’t win.”

“So I’m a test case?”

Cassio nodded, “For lack of a better term, yes.”

“I see…” Tov frowned, thinking it over.

If we can show Alien Stage that losers are still valuable, does that mean the killings will stop?

Can I help bring about a time where no human will ever have to go through everything I did?

It was hard to say.

They were in completely uncharted waters now.

But Tov knew she had to try.

If she was going to live, she couldn’t do it passively. She couldn’t sit back and do nothing.

Her health was too fragile to escape and join up with Nyx and the other rebels. It would only hinder their plans to liberate more pet humans, adding another liability they didn’t need.

But this media campaign, this “test case” Cassio had planned, she could do that.

Even if she could only alter public perception fractionally, that was still something. It was still a step forward.

Then maybe, one day, someone much stronger than her — but just as hurt and heartbroken — would take the final step in burning Alien Stage to the fucking ground.

Tov met Cassio’s gaze, determined. “I’ll do it.”

“So cool!” Wren gushed from behind her, “I’ll help out in any way I can.”

It couldn’t hurt. She thought.

“What’s the plan?”

Her guardian looked pleased with themselves. “First, is the press conference. But you don’t need to worry about that as I’ll be the one speaking.” They said. “Then we’ll set you up for some interviews, do a magazine spread or two, attend a few private events, you and Wren can reveal you’re twins to get some additional buzz and sympathy, and we’ll finish with a surprise.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Why do I get the feeling that you’re not going to tell me what the surprise is?”

“Because I won’t be.” They said.

I should’ve seen this coming.

Cassio and Wren were more alike than she wanted them to be, which was not at all.

Tov let it go for now, only because she had her own agenda to add to the mix.

“I have one condition,” She said. “We have to announce that I’m dating Dian.”

“What?”

“What?!”

Wren’s shout was too close to Tov’s ear.

Cassio simply gaped at her.

“Dian? As in model Dian? As in Dian who you said was in love with Nyx? That Dian?”

“It’s a fake relationship.” Tov explained, “Guardian Teneb is trying to pair him off with someone for networking purposes, so I agreed to help him to avoid that.”

Cassio scoffed, “Of course! I should’ve known Teneb had a hand in this.”

“Uh…” Wren started.

“Industry rivals. Bad blood. I’m surprised they haven’t tried to kill each other yet.” Tov said.

“Ah, got it.”

“The relationship benefits us both.” She continued. “He gets Teneb off his back and I can improve my value by dating a high profile public figure.”

Tov wasn’t going to tell Cassio or Wren about Nyx and Tallis yet. Maybe she never would.

“Plus you guys have done a bunch of modeling shoots together and you’re already friends!” Wren added. “Your dynamic will come across as more organic to the media and your fans.”

If I even still have fans.

She didn’t say that thought aloud.

“Hm, I suppose that could be helpful in getting more eyes on you.” Cassio said, mulling the idea over. “As long as I’m not forced to converse with Teneb any more than absolutely necessary, I’ll incorporate Dian into the plan.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll tell him to come to the hospital.”

“We can turn this into paparazzi moment; the two of you walking out of the hospital together when you’re released.” Wren said. “It might even get you on a broadcast.”

A broadcast, huh?

Maybe Tallis would see it.

Tov turned to face her sister, “How do we make that happen?”

Wren grinned, eyes gleaming, “Tell him to bring a bouquet of Easter lilies.”

————————————————————

Easter lilies represent rebirth, hope, and new beginnings btw 😁

TovDian is an in-universe ship and an in-universe ship ONLY!! He’s gay and Tov is engaged (Tallis just doesn’t know it yet)

Also, Tov spotting the Wren, Naz, Asuka polycule in the making is funny to me.

She’s caught on to the Himeitovallis vibes from those three lmao

Tallis, Himei, and Naz belong to @lookatmysillies.

Dian, Nyx, Yumi, Faisal, and Asuka belong to @imperfectnothing.

Cindy belongs to @tsukacchako.

Toki and Clove belong to @zerostyrant.

Inna belongs to @alien-til-i-stage.

Flor belongs to @sotogalmo.

Zhuli and Aster belong to @apriciticreveries.

[ivanttakethis]

Wren’s Log - Entry 1.0

————————————————————

Wren was surprised Tov had taken everything so well.

The twin sibling reveal.

The pseudo-sibling reveal.

The “surprise-you’re-a-year-younger-than-you-thought” reveal.

Even Tov’s reaction to the shock ring was tamer than the call for security and restraining order Wren was expecting.

Granted, she was still recovering from a heart attack and heavily medicated. It could take a few days for her to fully process through all of what she, Elias, and Prem had shared.

Maybe Wren would get the restraining order in the mail, or maybe Tov would follow through on her threat to wring her by her neck.

Naz is gonna get a kick out of that.

As soon as she and the boys left Tov’s hospital room for the night, Elias took Wren aside as Prem led the way down the hall.

“I didn’t want to alarm Tov, but I found something on the stage.” He said in a low voice. When Tov was shocked, goes unsaid.

“Oh?” Wren couldn’t resist the chance to mess with him. “You’re speaking to me so soon. I was sure I’d get the silent treatment for being ‘out of my fucking mind’.” She said.

Elias leveled her with a withering look that fell flat on its face, “I’m still mad at you for that. It was a batshit insane idea and if I knew about it, I would’ve stopped you.”

“Which is why I didn’t tell you. Besides, it’s not like you had a better idea.”

“Not the point.” He said.

She took that as a concession, “Yeah, yeah. What did you find?”

“The bullet.”

Wren stumbled mid-stride.

A shot was actually fired?

The crack she’d heard over the broadcast, right before she sent the electric shock through the ring, had been pinging around in her head since Tov collapsed.

That must’ve been the shot.

The shooter just missed.

“What kind of bullet?” She asked.

“Not any kind that guards would have easy access to.” Elias said. “This bullet had a paralytic tranquilizing agent inside of it. Whoever planned to shoot Tov wasn’t trying to kill her, they just wanted it to look like they did.”

So someone else wants Tov alive? How interesting.

“Any thoughts on who could be behind this?”

He shook his head, “Not yet. But if I had to guess, it’s someone who can afford to pay off a guard.”

Or a guard themselves…

Wren kept this thought to herself.

They rounded a corner toward the elevators, passing by floor to ceiling glass windows looking out onto the bustling city street below.

Even deep into the night, the buildings were still brightly illuminated and cars clogged the roads.

“Could it be Tov’s guardian, Cassio?” She asked.

“You know them better than I do,” Elias said, shrugging. “What do you think?”

It wasn’t a secret that Cassio was extremely wealthy. Their fashion house Cassiopeia was a well-regarded luxury brand these days.

And Wren knew Cassio cared a lot about Tov, more than enough to orchestrate her “death” to keep her alive.

The amount of money to bribe a guard would’ve been pocket change to them.

But still, Wren wouldn’t say she knew them “better”. More exposure, maybe.

As the group came upon the elevators, Wren glanced through a glass door leading out to a balcony.

A tall, pale blue figure stood alone out at the railing.

Cassio.

Speak their name and they appear.

“I’m gonna go find out.” Wren said, nodding toward the door. “Don’t wait up on me.”

Elias followed her line of sight, “I see. Be careful.”

She smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, “I’m always careful.”

They both knew Wren was joking.

———

“Evening, Guardian Cassio.” Wren greeted as she approached the balcony railing.

Cassio tucked their phone back in their pocket and nodded to her, “Good evening, Wren.”

Curt, but polite.

Not many words.

I see where Tov gets it from.

“Tov woke up not too long ago.” She said.

“I know,” Cassio said. “I suppose I have you to thank for that.”

Wren frowned, “How so?”

“The heart attack was too well timed to be a natural occurrence.”

Ah, well.

There was no reason to deny it now.

It wasn’t like Wren was ashamed of what she did either.

The only person who had to live with the morality of her decisions was herself. She would sleep just fine.

“Guilty as charged.” She said with a shrug.

Cassio hummed, “I can’t really blame you. If Tov were my sister, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

Only now did Wren realize she wasn’t wearing her mask or her contacts.

She chuckled to herself, “Also guilty.”

“When were you going to tell her?” They asked.

“I wanted to tell her when the Season 39 contestants came to Anakt Garden, after Round 12.” She said. “But then I saw her face… when that Flor girl died… I could tell she cared for her a lot. She didn’t need anything more to worry about on top of that.” Wren shook her head, “And every time after that was an even worse moment to bring it up.”

Round 17? Wrong.

Round 24? Wrong.

Round 26? Wrong.

Round 29? Wrong.

Wrong wrong wrong.

It was all wrong.

“I should thank you, truly.” They said, drawing Wren out of her thoughts. “You’ve given me the chance to make things right with Tov… eventually.”

She glanced over at them, eyebrows furrowed. Their gaze was still fixed on the cityscape ahead.

There was a somberness laced in their tone of voice.

“I don’t get it. Aren’t you going to see her soon?”

Cassio sighed, long and suffering, “How am I supposed to face her? After everything I’ve put her through? She lost so much and it’s all my fault.” They said. “If I hadn’t enrolled her in Anakt Garden, none of this would’ve happened.”

That’s true… but…

Wren turned to look out at the city too, thinking.

If she could go back in time and reject the Anakt Garden scholarship, would she do it?

Most of her classmates would probably say yes, but Wren hesitated.

Without Anakt, she never would’ve been placed in Ra’s care. She never would’ve met Cindy, or Toki, or even Inna. She never would’ve fallen for Naz either.

If Wren hadn’t gone to Anakt Garden, she wouldn’t have become Wren.

And she quite liked herself and her life, even if it wasn’t always pretty or easy.

Only Tov could answer if that was true for herself.

But if those stars in the sky named after her friends held as much meaning to Tov as she said they did, Wren already knew what her answer would be.

“Did Tov tell you that?” She asked.

Cassio blinked at her, “What? No, she hasn’t.”

“Then ask her.” Wren said. “She might surprise you.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to fail her any more than I already have.” They said. “When Tov was younger I… wasn’t there when she needed me, and I regret it every day. I don’t know where to even start trying to make it up to her.”

“You can’t change the past. All you can do is be there for her now.”

“Is that enough?”

Wren could only shrug, “It has to be.”

We don’t have any other choice.

“You’re off to a good start.” She said instead.

Before Cassio could respond, the shrill ring of their phone cut through the low din of the night and startled them both.

Their lips briefly curled into a snarl as they read the caller ID.

“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m being summoned by Alien Stage producers for an ‘emergency meeting’.”

It’s definitely about Tov. She thought, nodding.

“Good luck. I’ll come back some time tomorrow to see Tov again.”

Cassio smiled, genuine, before turning to leave.

“Oh, by the way,” They started, stopping themselves short and looking back at her, “I wanted to ask how you did it. How did you trigger Tov’s heart attack?”

Wren held up her right hand — with the good luck charm now on her ring finger — and pointed to it, “Electric shock.”

They chuckled in surprise, looking mildly impressed. “That was better than my idea. I just made Tov’s dress out of bullet resistant fabric, requested they shoot her center mass, and hoped for the best.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Wren forced herself to smile as she waved them off, waiting until they returned back inside the hospital before letting it drop.

Cassio didn’t bribe anyone to shoot Tov with that paralyzing bullet.

If they weren’t behind the bullet, then that meant someone else was involved.

An unknown third party.

But who were they?

And what did they want with her sister?

————————————————————

Huh… I wonder who else wants Tov alive? (I say, knowing full well who it is)

Anyways, I’m finally doing Season 40 stuff! Tov will still have her logs, but I’ll also be doing some for Wren too.

Next up is a log from Cassio’s point of view. That emergency meeting for Alien Stage should be interesting 👀

Naz belongs to @lookatmysillies.

Cindy belongs to @tsukacchako.

Toki belongs to @zerostyrant.

Inna belongs to @alien-til-i-stage.

Tagging: @starry-skiez @rockwgooglyeyes @chevalperd @apple8ees

[ivanttakethis]

Tov would unfortunately be put through image making practice like Ivan.

She doesn’t smile much on her own, so she’d be forced into learning how to do it “on command”.

Wren would go through dance practice like Mizi.

She’s a good dancer, but a much stronger singer. I could see her being in these practices to bring her dancing skills up to a similar level as her singing.

Daily ALNST OC Question ! :

Regarding VIVINO’s release of things that will be sold at the 2nd Anniversary Pop - Up Store, and how each different character has a different kind of practice or test marked as what they’re doing,

Which practice do you think your character would do ? ( Your free to also come up with your own idea of another type of practice though ! )

——————————————————————————————————

EXAMPLE :

I was originally going to go with singing / vocal practice for Aurien, but I think I’ll actually settle on dance practice . Although Auri is good with singing, she’s definitely not the best with dancing .

I think in her own practice, she’d mainly just practice many fast paced choreographies ? Doing them again and again repeatedly until she’s “ perfect “ at them, and even then she just moves onto the next .

( Tags : @bluemoonscape, @starry-skiez, @solei-eclipse, @rockwgooglyeyes, and @4listr ! Though none of you have to do this ! )

[ivanttakethis]

Post Row 5 [Pt. 1] - Tov’s Log

————————————————————

Tov woke up in the hospital.

Again.

Same room layout.

Same smell of antiseptic.

Same IV needle.

Same heart monitor beeping.

The sense of deja vu was strong enough to make her dizzy.

Fleeting vestiges of Himei’s warm smile slipped through Tov’s fingers like sand.

Despite the IV feeding into her left arm, her right arm stung like she’d been burned.

She groaned.

“Welcome back to the world of the living.”

Wren was sitting at her bedside, just as she was before, grey eyes studying her face in anticipation. Her face mask was white again.

“Heart attack?” Tov rasped.

Is there really a need to ask?

“Yep, right on stage.” Wren nodded. “It happened before you could be shot. Though this one was worse than the last. We almost lost you for a second there.”

Tov furrowed her brow, “Lost me? What do you mean?”

“You died. Technically. But only for a little while.”

Because that makes it so much less traumatizing.

Tov resisted rolling her eyes. Truthfully, she should be grateful to have the chance to roll them at all.

“So what now? Are they going to make me compete again?” She asked.

“Nope!” Wren clapped her hands together, pleased. “The Alien Stage contract states that contestants who die are removed from the competition. Since you technically died, you were removed. So you can’t be forced to participate again.”

“A legal loophole.” She muttered under her breath.

The gears in Tov’s head were working overtime, fighting against the sedatives she’d been given to try to make sense of everything.

She couldn’t believe it.

A heart attack had killed her and saved her life all at once.

She was reborn.

She was free.

Tov would laugh if her ribs didn’t ache.

“I never thought I’d feel lucky to have a heart attack.” She said. “I guess I shouldn’t have doubted your good luck charm.”

Wren’s tone sharpened. “Yeah, it served both of its purposes well.”

The fine hairs on the back of Tov’s neck stood on end, “I… don’t follow.”

“Well, while the ring is a good luck charm, it’s also an electronic device that can be remotely controlled. So when you lost your round, I sent an electric shock through the ring.” She said.

Tov blinked. Once.

Twice.

What the fuck?

Her heart rate spiked, the monitor she was hooked up to started beeping faster. “Y-You caused my heart attack? You shocked me into cardiac arrest?!”

“Yep.”

“I’ve been wearing that ring since I got out of the hospital after my first heart attack. You’re telling me you could’ve shocked me any time between now and then?”

Wren nodded once, completely unfazed by Tov’s change in demeanor. “If you’d lost to Akane or Jae, I would’ve done it sooner.”

What the fuck?!

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to die.” Wren said, like what she did was a completely normal solution to the problem.

“But—” Tov groaned in frustration, her chest heaving from short breaths. “But why me? Why would you do all of this for me?” She asked. “We don’t know each other well. We’re barely even friends. It doesn’t make any sense!”

“It makes perfect sense,” Wren said, calmly removing her mask, “Because I’m your twin sister.”

She pulled the cloth away from her face revealing a nose very similar to Tov’s own, with a broad scar across the bridge, and an identically shaped mouth drawn up in a smile.

Tov reeled back, struck by the glaring similarities. Alarm bells rang loud in her head.

Not possible.

That’s not possible.

It must be a coincidence.

It has to be.

“H-How are you so sure?”

Wren’s smile shifted slightly before she pressed two fingers against her eyes and removed contact lenses.

Grey contact lenses.

The ones Tov always thought looked off.

And she found herself staring into dark brown eyes, with slightly misshapen white stars in their irises.

A mirror image of her own.

WHAT THE FUCK??!?

Her heart slammed against her chest, punching the air out of her lungs, hard enough to make her physically wince.

She couldn’t breathe.

No.

No no no no no no no.

I don’t have any biological family.

I don’t have a sister.

Flor was the closest thing I ever had to a sister and she’s dead.

I’m an only child.

I was alone when Cassio adopted me.

Why is this happening?

How is this happening?

Tov gripped her bedsheets until her knuckles turned white.

It felt like her world was tilting again.

Sharp and sudden.

Disorienting.

A wave of nausea rolled through her.

“This whole time… Have you known this whole time?” She could taste bile on her tongue as she spoke.

“I always knew I had a sister, but I’ve known you were my sister for a long time now.” Wren said.

Tov looked up at her… sister? Twin? She didn’t know anymore. “How long?”

“The first time I saw your face was when I was ten. It was on a billboard downtown. I knew from your eyes.” She said. “It’s been thirteen years since then.”

“Fourteen,” Tov said, reflexively. “We’re 24 now, so it’s been fourteen years.”

“About that, we’re actually 23.”

Tov frowned, confused, “But my teeth were—”

“Growth-dated?” Wren finished for her. “Mine were too, probably around the same time as yours. The results placed my age at 3.45 human years old, and my age was rounded down to 3 years old.” She said. “I’m guessing, your results came out to 3.5 after rounding, and then you were rounded up to the whole number age of 4 years old; a rounding error on their part. Otherwise we would’ve been in the Season 40 class together.”

She stared blankly at Wren.

Blinked.

Struggled to process what she’d just heard.

A rounding error?

My life is the way that it is… because of a rounding error?

It all felt so trivial.

By the mark of a different pen 20 years ago, Tov would’ve never met Himei, or Tallis, or Nyx, or Moran, or Dian, or Flor.

She would’ve never come to love or care for or lose any of them.

Tov wouldn’t even be the same person.

Her temples throbbed.

She was so distracted by the new flare of pain that she didn’t hear the door swing open and slam shut, or the pairs of footsteps quickly approaching the side of her bed opposite of Wren.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” A deep voice snapped.

Tov lifted her head and her vision went fuzzy for a moment before focusing on Elias’s face.

He was angry. Furious, even.

She could see it in his eyes and the tight pinch between his eyebrows and the sharp, downward curve of his mouth.

There was a wild emotion simmering just below the surface of his skin, barely held at bay by the strict and obedient frame of a soldier.

But his anger wasn’t directed at Tov.

It was directed at Wren.

She didn’t seem phased by him at all, “What are you talking about?”

Elias scoffed and dug into the pocket of his jacket, tossing whatever he found inside at Wren.

She caught it midair with a lazy, outstretched hand, without looking away from Elias staring her down.

“Oh,” Wren said, “You found my good luck charm.”

The shock ring. Tov thought.

Only now did she realize she wasn’t wearing it anymore.

“Cut the bullshit, Wren. I know what the ring did. You are so fucking lucky I found it first. What were you thinking?!”

“I was saving Tov.” Wren said plainly.

“You could’ve killed her!” Elias hissed. “Her heart stopped. Prem and I had to keep it beating manually until we got a pulse back.”

Tov tore her eyes away from the growing volatility of the back and forth to look behind Elias.

Prem was there too, almost as pissed off. His arms were crossed, jaw set, eyes narrowed and glaring daggers at Wren.

“She would’ve died for sure if I’d done nothing.” Wren countered, voice scarily even despite the subject matter. “At least this way she had a chance of surviving, and we didn’t have to watch her take a bullet to the head.”

We?

Hang on—

“How do you guys know each other?” Tov asked.

Despite not raising her voice, or even speaking at her usual volume, Elias and Wren immediately stopped to give her their full attention.

Like a fire smothered in foam, the tension between them fizzled out.

They both looked at her with gentler gazes and softened edges.

It felt oddly familiar.

Elias sighed and ran a hand down his face, “Tov, meet your benefactor.” He said, nodding to Wren.

Wren gave her a half smile, “Surprise.”

…

..

.

What?

————————————————————

So yeah, Wren is a little fucked up, actually. She’s a very “the ends justify the means” type girl, even if the means are like,, morally questionable.

But that’s just how she was raised. You’ll learn more about that next time!

Also, note the wording used in the letter Tov’s benefactor (Wren) wrote to her in the Before Round 30 log:

“We will meet at the End of Round 30,” instead of “When you win Round 30,” because if Tov survived her heart attack, Wren was going to “meet her” as her twin regardless of if she won or lost.

Shoutout to @rockwgooglyeyes who guessed that the information leakers (Elias and Prem) were linked to Wren a while back.

I had a good chuckle reading your tags with my narrator knowledge 😁

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 13 - Tov’s Log

Jae (64) vs. Vii (35) - Jae Win

————————————————————

Wren found Tov again that night.

Round 13 had just finished.

64 - 35

Jae won decisively.

Vii was dead.

The guards allowed both classes to mingle during free time in the hour prior to curfew.

Most people chose to stay inside. Tov and a few others ventured out into the fields.

At night, the simulated daytime of the Anakt Garden dome was switched off, allowing those inside to see the true night sky above.

The stars seemed further away somehow, but they were no less beautiful.

It was a perfect night for stargazing.

Tov stayed close to the main buildings, tucked away around back, out of view of anyone passing by.

She knew the spot from childhood. It was a good place if you wanted to be alone for a while.

“There you are!”

At least it was…

Wren sat down in the grass beside her, crossing her legs and mirroring Tov’s position.

“I figured I would find you out here.”

Wren’s tone raised her hackles.

Tov furrowed her brows, turning to look at her, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Wren shrugged, but kept her eyes on the sky, unbothered by the slight edge in Tov’s voice. Her white hair seemed to glow in the moonlight. Even her roots were white.

“You seem to like the stars, and they’re awfully pretty tonight.” She said.

Tov couldn’t argue with that, so she didn’t.

“They are pretty.” She nodded, looking back up at the constellations hanging overhead.

The two were quiet for a moment, before Wren spoke again.

“What was it like performing on stage?”

Tov tried to think back to Round 10, but her mind drew a blank. She couldn’t recall much of anything.

Only fragments of that night remained scattered around the void in her memories.

The stars.

The heartache.

The first line of her song.

The gunshot.

The smell of blood.

The way Nyx hugged her like she was something fragile.

Everything else was gone.

“I don’t remember much.” She said quietly. It almost sounded like a confession. “I wasn’t really thinking about the stage, or the crowd, or the cameras.”

“Then what were you thinking about?” Wren asked, “That emotion in your voice didn’t come out of thin air.”

Tov’s eyes found Tallis’s constellation instinctively.

Was she really about to spill her sorrows to a stranger?

Regardless of how friendly Wren behaved, they didn’t know each other.

But… who else did she have in her life to talk to?

Cassio? No.

Nyx? He had enough on his plate preparing for his upcoming round.

Himei? Tov didn’t know if she would ever talk to her about this; about what she and Tallis said and did.

She’d already been isolated once because of all this grief they found themselves neck deep in.

Tov wasn’t going to add to that, or make things worse. It would just make the situation more confusing.

She briefly closed her eyes and sighed, “Did you watch Round 7?”

Wren nodded in her periphery. “Of course. I watch every round.”

How can you stomach it all?

Tov didn’t ask that thought aloud.

“The contestant that lost…”

“Tallis?”

She almost winced at the sound of his name. The wound was still too raw.

“Yeah… him.” Tov swallowed around the growing lump in her throat. “He… he meant a lot to me.”

Andromedas, why is this so painful?

“He was a friend of yours?”

She shook her head immediately, “No.”

The word “friend” was far too reductive to encompass everything that Tallis meant to Tov.

But how else could she describe their relationship?

Even with her face placidly neutral, Wren still managed to sense Tov’s internal frustration.

“Ah, more than a friend.” She mused. “Did you love him?”

“I did— I do.” Tov amended. Nyx’s words came back to her then.

“Just because he's gone doesn't mean he doesn't still love you.”

Guess that meant she didn’t have to stop loving him either.

“When I was singing, I was thinking about him.”

“I see.”

This time, the ensuing silence bordered on comfortable. Tov’s chest felt a bit lighter too. Maybe talking about it isn’t so bad.

“You named a star after him.” Wren said it like a statement, not a question. It startled Tov.

“How did you—” Her eyes snapped to the odd grey gaze staring back at her, expectant but already knowing.

“You keep looking at the same spot in the sky.” Wren explained. “You kept looking up at the stars when you performed too.”

Tov felt strangely exposed, like Wren could see through her skin and straight into her soul.

It was different from the way Tallis looked at her, though. But she couldn’t put a finger on why.

“It’s a constellation.” She conceded, finally.

Wren smiled a little, almost giddy, “Ooh which is it? Wait, wait, wait— let me guess!” She scanned the stars intently and her brow furrowed in concentration.

It made her look much younger than she probably was.

How old is Wren anyway?

She pointed upwards with one eye closed for accuracy, “Is it that one there? The one shaped like a cresting wave?”

“No, that one’s for Azure.” Tov said.

“That guy from Round 1? With the sea green eyes?”

Something about Wren’s description of Azure made Tov huff out a chuckle.

“That’s him,” She nodded. “The song he performed was called Nouvelle Vague, ‘new wave’. I thought it was fitting to name a wave shaped constellation after him.”

“It fits him well.” Wren nodded, then pointed to another constellation nearby, “What about the one that looks kind of like a thought bubble?”

“That’s Moran’s.” Tov said.

“Ah, the redhead from Round 2!”

“Yes, she was a good friend of mine. A great friend, really. She taught me a lot about philosophy; always thinking.”

Tov took over from there, pointing out each constellation she’d named after those she cared for.

Stasya. Minori. Flor. Even Min.

Min protected Himei when she didn’t have to. She was the only reason her closest friend was still alive.

For that alone, Tov cared about Min too.

“That one,” She said finally, pointing to the cluster of constellations in the shape of a harp, “That one is for Tallis.”

“I believe in you.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

For once, Wren quieted first.

Tov felt her eyes on her, but she didn’t break the silence; content to simply look at stars.

It still hurt. But it was better than the numbness from before.

“You know…” Wren started, “You look at everyone else’s constellations the same way you look at Tallis’s.”

Really?

“Really.” Wren said.

She paused for a moment. Then two.

“If you ask me, it seems like you loved all of them.” Wren murmured.

At that moment, something in Tov’s heart clicked into place. A gentle warmth unfurled inside her rib cage.

Oh.

Oh.

Maybe… maybe I do…

The realization brought tears to Tov’s eyes. Her heart ached in a new, novel way.

Bittersweet. Melancholy.

It made her laugh for some reason. She hadn’t laughed in a long time.

As she stared up at the celestial memorials of everyone she’d lost, Tov found herself smiling ever so slightly.

What a terrible time to realize it was all love.

————————————————————

We love sisterly bonding, even if one of them doesn’t know it yet 😌

Plus a little feelings realization and healing, as a treat!

Tov has a lot of love for others, even if she doesn’t think she does. Only now is she beginning to realize how deeply her relationships have affected her as a person.

Tov’s current thoughts about Wren are like: “this girl is kinda weirdly friendly, and there’s something odd about her aura, but I would rather die than talk to anyone else in my life about my problems, so I will continue to trauma dump on her since she’s cool with it”

My girl probably needs a therapist, but we don’t have time for that lmao

Next up: End of Round 16!!

Jae belongs to @kofeedoggo.

Min and Vii belong to @starry-skiez.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Tallis and Himei belong to @lookatmysillies.

Azure belongs to @azureitri.

Moran belongs to @geospiral.

Stasya belongs to @billwasnot.

Minori belongs to @minori-dash.

Flor belongs to @sotogalmo.

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 25 - Tov’s Log

Sai (?) vs. Khoi (?) -> ??? Win

————————————————————

Wren invited herself back to the hospital when Tov was released, even going so far as to insist on pushing her in the wheelchair the hospital provided.

Tov was too tired to argue against it, letting her ramble about this and that with more energy than she thought a human could have.

It was… nice.

Listening to Wren took her mind off the darker things crowding her thoughts.

As they sat outside the hospital entrance waiting for Cassio to come collect Tov, Wren reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a small, midnight blue box.

“Here, this is for you.” She said, nudging the box into Tov’s hands.

“Oh, uh, thanks?” Tov inspected the box from a distance. It was soft like leather and fit snug in her palm.

On the front was a small silver latch holding the top and bottom pieces together. It looked like a jewelry box.

She hoped it wasn’t earrings. Cassio hated permanent piercings, so Tov’s ears were never pierced like some of the other students in her class.

“Well?” Wren prompted.

She frowned, looking up from the box and over at her, “Well what?”

“Open it, silly!”

Tov did not appreciate being called silly, but she opened the box anyway.

Inside was a simple silver ring with an intertwined sun and crescent moon engraved on the surface.

She gently picked the ring up to examine it closer.

“A ring?” She asked. “What for?”

“It’s my good luck charm.” Wren said. “I don’t have any use for it right now since preliminaries haven’t started yet, so I thought, why not give it to you to see if it could help for Round 26?”

Tov rolled the ring around between her fingers as she thought, letting it catch the light of the sun.

She didn’t know if she even believed in good luck, or luck at all for that matter.

But I guess it couldn’t hurt.

She slipped the ring onto her right ring finger, and it fit perfectly.

Tov chanced a sideways glance at Wren, who was watching her reaction intently.

“How did you know my ring size?”

She smiled behind her mask, and it briefly occurred to Tov that she had never seen Wren without it.

“I didn’t! I just guessed that since our hands are about the same size, our ring sizes would be similar too. Looks like I got lucky there.” She hummed, clearly pleased.

I guess you did.

“Our hands are the same size?” Came out instead.

“Yeah! Here, look.” Wren grabbed one of Tov’s hands and held it up to hers, their palms pressed flat against each other.

Oh wow…

Her and Wren’s hands weren’t just similarly sized.

They were the same size.

Even down to the length of their fingers.

A strange feeling ran through Tov.

But it was gone before she had the chance to even acknowledge it was there to begin with.

It must’ve been the side effects of the sleep medication she’d been prescribed.

The doctor — a human, oddly enough — told Tov that her poor sleep contributed to her stress and worsened the strain on her heart.

She had taken one pill each night of her hospital stay and slept dreamlessly until morning.

The medicine would be out of her system by tomorrow.

With any luck, she could get one more night of peaceful, nightmare-free rest.

Cassio pulled up to the curb in front of them and Wren pushed the wheelchair closer to the car.

“You good to stand?” She asked as she opened the passenger side door.

“I think so.” Tov nodded and slowly stood up. The hard concrete felt odd under her feet, but she remained steady and lowered herself into the seat without issue.

Wren shut the door once she was strapped in and leaned into the open window, “I guess you’ll be taking it from here, Guardian Cassio?”

Cassio smiled, “Yes dear, I’ve got it. Thank you for all of your help.”

“Yeah, thanks Wren.” Tov said quietly. She tried to smile a little, even if she couldn’t really feel it.

“No problem! Happy to help my Anakt Garden senior.” Wren’s emphasis on the word ‘senior’ wasn’t necessary or appreciated.

Tov almost wanted to take her thank you back.

Almost.

From the creasing around her eyes, Wren must’ve been absolutely beaming behind her mask.

“Good luck on your next round.” She waved as she stepped back from the curb, “You can give me the charm back after you win the season.”

———

The nightmares came back that night.

Tov was up to her ankles in cold blood, surrounded by the bodies of her dead friends and classmates.

Their eyes were all open, glassy, staring unseeingly at something overhead.

Tov looked up just in time to watch a black hole tear open the sky and swallow all of the stars.

She woke up in a cold sweat, shaking and gasping for air. Her face was wet with tears, or sweat, or both.

Thump thump thump thump thump.

Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

She clutched at her chest, squeezing her eyes shut, and forced herself to take deep breaths.

She had to get her heart rate under control.

“Breathe, Tov.” Her hushed voice quivered. A bead of sweat rolled down the nape of her neck. “Breathe.”

Tov? Tov!

Come on, Tov. Breathe with me.

Just follow my lead, okay?

In…

Tov breathed in.

…and out.

Tov breathed out.

In…

Tov breathed in.

…and out.

Tov breathed out.

In…

Tov breathed in.

…and out.

Tov breathed out.

See? It’s working! You’re doing great, keep going.

Keep going…

Tov didn’t know how long she stayed like that, breathing in time with the voice in her head.

It sounded like a child.

Slowly her heartbeat eased, settling back into its quick, but familiar rhythm.

She couldn’t remember who the voice belonged to. They’d all changed so much since then.

And now nearly everyone who it could’ve been was dead.

Tov pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes until she saw stars, “Fuck.”

She tossed aside her sheets, too hot and damp to be comfortable, and sat on the floor with her back against the mattress frame.

The chill of the air conditioning cooled her heated skin. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 03:19am.

Round 26 was less than 48 hours away.

She’d be on that stage again.

Now it was stained with Himei’s blood too.

“You can give me the charm back after you win the season.” Wren said.

How was she supposed to win the season like this?

And if she did win, what would happen after? What was there to go back to?

Cassio? Wren? Her secret benefactor?

They were hardly a replacement for everyone she lost. Everyone that kept her going.

Keep going…

“Shut up.” She muttered into the dark.

Silence was her only answer.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes.

Part of Tov wished there was still someone there with her.

Someone to sit next to her and help bear the weight of all this pain and grief.

But to ask that of anyone — to inflict this torture on anyone — would be horribly selfish.

Still, some small part of her wanted it; as sick as that might be.

Maybe Alien Stage made everyone a little sick in the head.

Daiki was sick.

Whoever poisoned Lark was sick too.

Every single one of them who wanted a classmate to lose and die so their friend could live was sick. Tov included.

What was a little more sickness then?

The tablet on the nightstand pinged, its screen glowing like a beacon in the night.

Tov reached up to grab it and settled back in her spot on the floor.

A red notification bubble flashed in the top left corner of the home screen, signaling a new message in her inbox.

Tov furrowed her brows.

Who’s messaging this late?

She tapped through to view her full conversation list and saw her guardian’s name at the top.

Her brows only furrowed more.

Cassio? What are you doing up?

She tapped the screen again to open the message.

///////

TOV,

I received this message in my inbox and have been instructed to forward it to you. The priority is URGENT, however the sender and source are unknown.

I have done my due diligence prior to sending this by checking for any viruses or malware that may be embedded in the message. Thankfully I came up empty handed.

If I had to guess, this message is likely from a fan of yours.

Please read it when you have time.

I will see you for your final dress fitting later today.

- CASSIO

————————————————————

OUTGOING MESSAGE

TO: Gdn. CASSIO

TO BE RELAYED TO: Pet Human & ALNST Contestant TOV at the request of SENDER

FROM: UNKNOWN??SOURCE

Attachment: pleaseRead.lix

————————————————————

\\\\\\\

Tov was… confused, to say the least.

Why would a digital document need to be marked urgent?

Why did the sender not identify themselves or what they wanted?

Why did they hide the source of the message in the first place?

Tov knew she was a novice when it came to having fans and getting messages from them, but nothing like this had ever happened before.

She hesitated only for a moment, before curiosity won out and she clicked on the file attached to the original message.

There were no words in the file, only music notes.

Sheet music?

Is this a song you want me to sing?

Tov scanned the screen for any sign of a title, but there was nothing.

Okay, so not a song to sing. Maybe it’s just one to listen to?

She hoped it wasn’t a piece they wanted her to play on an instrument.

If this really was from a fan, then they would know that she couldn’t play any instruments.

Tov read over the first eight notes, softly humming them to herself, trying to decipher their meaning.

This sounds kind of familiar.

A feeling of deja vu prickled at her skin as she hummed the notes for a third time.

I know this song. But from where?

She closed her eyes and sung the notes again.

The tune was nostalgic. It must’ve been from Anakt Garden.

But there were no words, so it couldn’t be a song they practiced in class.

Clearly this was for an instrument. A string instrument, if she was reading it correctly.

Tallis was the gifted one in the trio when it came to music composition, not her.

Wait—

Realization struck Tov like a bolt of lightning.

This song…

She knew this song because Tallis wrote it for her when they were kids.

It was “a token of their friendship” he’d said at the time.

Except, as far as she knew, Tallis never wrote it down anywhere. He insisted that he would remember it.

And he never shared it with anyone other than her.

Not even Himei.

But if he never wrote it down, and we’re the only ones who know the song—

Does that mean—

Tov’s heart skipped a beat.

“Tallis is alive.”

————————————————————

Tovallis stans wake up!!! (and it’s just me and @lookatmysillies gripping each other’s shoulders and yelling)

Also more Tov and Wren bonding! It’s a shame Tov didn’t follow that odd feeling she got when she noticed their hands were the same lol

The scores and winner of Round 25 are left blank because Tov wasn’t allowed to watch the round in the hospital. Cassio was worried that it would aggravate her heart issues.

Tallis and Himei belong to @lookatmysillies.

[ivanttakethis]

Wren’s Log - Entry 1.1

————————————————————

By mid-morning, the plan was set.

Cassio’s press conference would be held the next day.

They’d announce Tov had survived by “the blessing of the Great Anakt” and that she would continue to model.

A few days later, Wren would reveal herself to be Tov’s long lost twin sister right before a preseason interview with Alien Stage Magazine.

Then, when Tov was released from the hospital at the end of the week, the paparazzi would catch her and Dian leaving hand in hand, with Tov holding a bouquet of Easter lilies.

New life.

New family.

New relationship.

The perfect trifecta for generating a media firestorm.

Even ZYNE would be envious of it.

As Wren was preparing to leave, another knock came at the door.

"Were you expecting someone?" She asked.

Tov shook her head, as did Cassio.

Maybe it’s Elias and Prem?

“Come in!” Wren called out.

The door swung open and Guardian Ra came in, carrying a glass vase filled with vibrant purple flowers.

Irises, if Wren remembered correctly.

Ra’s ash colored hair was pulled back into a bun, with a braid looped around each fin-shaped ear.

She’d forgone covering up the wide band of vitiligo that ran down the center of her face with the brown makeup she typically used.

Like this, she could almost be mistaken for Wren’s biological producer, minus the obviously alien features, of course.

Ra smiled at her and Tov, grey eyes warm and bright.

“Hello there.” She greeted. “I came to collect Wren, but I thought I’d bring these flowers for you Tov. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better.”

“Ra’eon?” Cassio said, their voice much softer than Wren had ever heard it.

They stood up from their spot on the sofa, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape in disbelief. They weren’t as tall now either, having shifted size to be closer to Ra’s shorter stature.

Ra blinked twice, familiarity flickering in her expression, and turned around to look at Cassio.

“Cassiopeia,” She said. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

Wren couldn’t see her face anymore, but longing in her voice was palpable.

She glanced over at Tov to find her sister already looking back, just as confused as she was.

“You know each other?” Tov asked.

“Yes, we did. A long time ago.” Cassio said. They didn’t look away from Ra as they spoke. “It’s been more than 20 years since we saw each other; before you two were born.”

“Has it really been that long?” Ra asked.

Cassio swallowed, and nodded. “It has.”

It was harder to read their eyes without irises or pupils, but their expression seemed a little pained.

What happened between you two?

Ra’s phone rang loud in her pocket, popping the tension between her and Cassio like a soap bubble.

“Ah, Wren and I really have to get going. ZYNE is expecting her soon.” She said, setting the vase down on Tov’s bedside table. “We should catch up sometime, Cassiopeia. Maybe over coffee, or tea? Do you still drink White Rose?”

“You remembered.” Cassio said faintly, a small smile on their lips; terribly fond.

“Of course. It was practically all you drank back then.” Ra chuckled.

Cassio’s cheeks darkened a bit. “I-I’ll check my availability and set something up.” They said.

“I look forward to it.” She smiled, then turned to Wren. “Are you ready?”

“Hm?” Wren started, “Oh, yeah. Let’s go. I’ll call you later, Tov.”

Her sister gave her one last knowing look before she and Ra left the room.

Wren held her tongue until they got in the elevator, headed for the lobby.

“So…” She smirked. “What was that all about?”

Ra huffed.

Now that Wren was closer, she could see her cheeks were slightly pink.

“It’s none of your concern.” She said, lacking any bark or bite.

It only made Wren’s smirk widen.

“Whatever you say.”

———

ZYNE Entertainment’s main office was deep in the heart of downtown.

A giant glass edifice dozens of stories tall with a sprawling plaza out front and a helipad on the roof.

They were a talent agency specialized in pet-human singing groups.

A nice alternative to Alien Stage for segyein who loved the cries of humans, but couldn’t stomach the all of the death that came with it.

Recent years had proved there was a substantial market for pet-human idols without expiration dates, and agencies like ZYNE rushed to meet the demand.

ZYNE was the most successful.

Part of that was likely due to the CEO being a former higher up at Alien Stage and several other top executives having taught at Anakt Garden.

Their backgrounds made them very stringent in producing the best of the best.

Most applicants were Anakt Garden graduates who didn’t make it into the competition.

Others came from less prestigious facilities with recommendation letters.

But only a fraction of either group became trainees.

Tryouts were just as rigorous as the preliminaries for Alien Stage.

Boot camps were mini-Anakt Gardens, pushing trainees to the limit to see who would sink or swim.

And even if you made the cut, if your group didn’t debut, you would have to go through tryouts and boot camp all over again.

It was brutal, but Wren had excelled.

She was a special case: a scholarship student from Anakt Garden with no legal guardian. They’d headhunted her before graduation too, another rarity.

She could sing and dance better than most, and her “unique” appearance made her endearing to focus groups.

They even liked her facial scar.

Since then, Wren had been part of three girl groups-in-training.

None of them made it to debut.

So, she’d also been through tryouts and boot camp three times.

The only reason she didn’t have to go through the process again was because she made it through the Alien Stage preliminaries for Season 40.

That was worth more than any mark she could get from another round of tryouts and boot camp.

ZYNE also gave her a major incentive to compete.

If Wren won Season 40 of Alien Stage, she could debut as a solo artist.

The first pet-human solo artist in the agency.

She loved performing, but working in a group was pretty… difficult. Performing solo would solve that problem.

Plus, Wren had steadily grown a small but loyal fan base over her years at ZYNE through pre-debut performances and media appearances.

Many of them had been hoping she’d go solo for a while.

This was the perfect opportunity to make that happen.

“I’ll be back later to pick you up!” Ra called out as Wren left the car.

“See you later!” She waved back.

As soon as Ra drove out of sight, Wren pulled out her phone to call Elias.

She needed to update him on what she learned at the hospital.

He picked up on the fourth ring, “Hey, what’s up?”

Wren glanced around to see if anyone was watching her, and — just to be safe — switched to speaking Hauel.

Their breeder spoke an uncommon dialect of a segyein language from a long dead planet called Hauel.

It was the first language Wren, Elias, and Prem learned to communicate in.

They’d never met another Hauel speaker outside of the breeding facility, and the language became their means of exchanging information without being overheard.

Tov spoke it too, but that knowledge was probably suppressed along with her memories.

“I have good news and bad news.” She said, starting toward the building’s entrance.

Elias sighed in his usual long and suffering way, switching to Hauel as well, “Alright, bad news first, I guess.”

“The bad news is Cassio didn’t bribe a guard to shoot Tov with that paralyzing bullet.”

“Which means we’re back to square one with no leads.” He grumbled.

“Afraid so.” Wren switched back to human language. “But the good news is Ra and Cassio know each other.”

“That has no relation to the bad news whatsoever.” He said flatly. “Tell me everything.”

She snickered as she entered the lobby.

Elias was secretly a huge gossip.

Very good at getting information, but also very nosy.

“Well, for starters, they call each other by their full names.” Wren said, swiping her key card over the security scanner.

A security guard nodded to her as she passed by, headed for the elevators.

“Ra remembers Cassio’s favorite tea, even though they haven’t seen each other in twenty plus years, Cassio was practically stumbling over their words when talking to her, and don’t get me started about the way they looked at each other. The longing was palpable.”

“History would call them great friends.” Elias said, chuckling.

“I couldn’t get a vibe on if they actually dated or not, but the romantic tension is definitely there.” Wren caught the closing elevator doors with her foot and quickly stepped inside. “At the very least they made out once or twice. I’d put money on it.”

“Because you’re so well-versed in romance that you’d know instinctively.”

“Not for lack of trying!”

“And how’s that going?”

Wren thought back to her and Naz’s last conversation — if you could really even call it that with all of the yelling — and sighed.

She pressed the button for the 23rd floor and leaned against the wall as the elevator began to climb, “Not great.”

“Sorry, kiddo.” Elias’s tone was sincere. “How are you holding up?”

“Don’t call me kiddo, you’re only 25.”

“And you’re dodging my question.”

Wren hated when Elias used his “big brother” voice, mostly because it worked.

She slid a hand down her face, pulling off her mask just a bit in the privacy of the elevator car, exposing herself.

“Naz has been more… volatile, lately.”

“Any reason why?” He asked.

“Akane.” Her answer was immediate.

“Akane? Wasn’t she Tov’s opponent?”

“Yeah, in Round 26. They tied, she lost the coin toss and killed her guardian.” She said. “Naz loved her. She may’ve even been in love with her.”

“So she’s grief stricken? Heartbroken?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

Truthfully, it was all too reductive for what she’d seen Naz go through.

The rocket in a bottle Wren held close had shattered into a million pieces from the force of the explosion inside.

Shrapnel flew in every direction.

But Wren didn’t flinch.

She held on just as tightly as she had before. Maybe even tighter now.

Wren was the type to bite down and not let go. She didn’t know how to.

It was instinctual.

It’s why she still held on to the memory of Cindy.

It’s why she put up with Inna’s bullshit.

It’s why she kept trying to get through to Faisal even as he did everything he could to shut her out.

It’s why she risked so much to save Tov.

The thought of loosening her grip on Naz never crossed her mind because it simply wasn’t an option.

Wren didn’t know how not to give and to love and to hold on for dear life.

She could handle Naz’s anger, she had done it countless times before.

But this time was different.

When Wren looked into Naz’s eyes, her soul was on fire.

She’d never seen something so achingly bright and earnest and raw.

The supernova had reached its zenith, and it was beautiful.

It made her feel something she’d never felt before.

Wren didn’t have a name for it.

But it made her wonder.

Would Naz ever feel that way about her?

If Wren were to die today, would she react like she did with Akane?

Would anyone?

Probably not.

Wren was very aware that she wasn’t anyone’s number one person.

She knew that, if given the opportunity, everyone she cared about would pick someone else over her.

Naz included.

And she’d made her peace with it, for the most part.

But part of her still wanted to be that person for someone.

Wren wanted to take up so much space in someone’s heart it was impossible to be forgotten.

She wanted someone to scream and sob and rage when she was gone.

Like Tov did with Himei and Tallis.

Like Naz did with Akane.

It was a selfish thing, wanting someone who loves you to hurt.

But Wren still wanted it.

That made her a selfish person.

Right?

“You still with me?” Elias asked, his tone knowing.

He was calling her down from the clouds stirring in her head.

Wren took a deep breath and nodded, even though he couldn’t see her, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m still with you.”

“Just give her some space for now. I’m sure she’ll come around once she sorts everything out for herself.”

I don’t think either of us are capable of that.

The elevator came to a stop and a digital tone chimed as the doors opened.

“I’m about to head into the office. We can talk more tonight.” She said.

“I’ll try to find new leads in the meantime. Take care of yourself, Wren.”

“Right back at you.”

————————————————————

Wren is so Ivan-coded to me… only half of it was intentional btw.

And by contrast, Naz is very Till-coded…

Ivantill? Sorry, I only know Nazwren /hj

Speaking of estranged lesbians, what’s up with Cassio and Ra? Guess we’ll have to wait and see 👀

Naz, Himei, and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.

Dian and Faisal belong to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Akane belongs to @aakaneeee.

Inna belongs to @alien-til-i-stage.

Cindy belongs to @neverforgetyou.

Tagging: @apple8ees @starry-skiez @chevalperd

[ivanttakethis]

Before Round 18 - Tov’s Log

Onyx (?) vs. Lang (?) -> ??? Win

————————————————————

Lark died on stage.

Tov was still holding his hand.

It hadn't been more than five minutes since they walked out together.

The giant holograph hanging overhead displayed their scores.

69 - 31

He would've died anyway.

That didn't make Tov feel any better.

A bullet to the head may have been a less painful death.

She thought about praying for Lark to have died peacefully, but she didn’t know if the stars were listening.

They hadn't answered her in a very long time. The silence had grown deafening.

Tov was tired.

Someone cut off the lights and music on stage.

The medics took Lark's body in one direction, and three guards took Tov in the other.

She let their gloved hands guide her away without a fight.

They sat her down on a bench backstage. The same bench she found Nyx on after Round 16.

And his second round was up next.

Another guard appeared at her side and draped a shiny, light blanket over her shoulders. A shock blanket.

They gently patted her arm, as if to comfort her, and left as quick as they came.

The chaos unfolding around her faded to background noise, muffled by something separating her from the rest of the world.

Tov kept her eyes cast downward, fixated on her glass heels.

There was a hairline fracture in the right one. It hadn't been there before the round.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there staring; mind hopelessly empty, cotton stuffed in her ears and mouth.

It could've been a few seconds, or a few hours. Time slipped by unnoticed.

Then, an unfamiliar feminine voice called her name. “Tov?”

Tov blinked out of her haze, looking up.

A lone guard stood before her, their hands tucked behind their back instead of resting on their holster or baton. The black visor of their helmet was pulled down over their face.

“I’ve been instructed to take you back to your room.” They said.

Tov nodded slowly and rose to her feet, still clutching the shock blanket. She followed after them in silence.

Neither she nor the guard spoke until they were inside the dormitory.

The halls were empty, completely devoid of any signs of life.

“Listen, Tov,” They said quietly, just a few doors down from her room.

“There was nothing more you could’ve done for Lark. He was already too far gone.”

Tov didn’t know if the guard was trying to make her feel better or simply stating the facts of the matter. She was too drained to think it through.

“I know.” She said anyway.

They stopped outside Tov’s room and the guard waited for her to open the door.

“Goodnight.” The guard said as they turned to leave.

She nodded. “Thanks.”

With the door shut and locked behind her, Tov collapsed on her bed.

She was still wearing her heels.

Usually she would take them off and leave them nice and neat next to the door, but she had nothing left to give.

Tov was so tired.

But she didn’t want to close her eyes.

She didn’t want to see Lark as he lay dying on the stage.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations—

The phone on her bedside table started ringing.

Cassio…

Tov sighed.

She didn’t want to talk.

But if she didn’t pick up, they would just keep calling until she did.

Tov rolled over on her side and pressed the speaker button, “I don’t feel up to talking, Cassio.”

“Good thing I’m not Cassio, then.”

Tov frowned at the voice on the other end of the line.

There’s no way.

“Wren?”

“The one and only.” She could hear the smile in Wren’s voice.

Tov’s eyebrows only furrowed further in confusion. “How did you get this number?”

“I have my ways.”

No further elaboration.

How cryptic.

“Isn’t it past curfew at Anakt?” She asked instead.

“Oh I’m not at Anakt right now, I’m in boot camp. ZYNE wanted to give me one more chance before prep starts for Season 40 of Alien Stage.”

Boot camp?

ZYNE?

Every answer Wren gave only created more questions. It was a good reminder that Tov knew nothing about her.

“I saw your round earlier.” She said. Her voice had lost its bubbly tone.

The sudden change in demeanor and topic made Tov’s head spin.

She sighed, rolling onto her back to stare up at the ceiling, “Yeah.”

Silence.

“What happened to that guy, Lark? Did he make it?”

Tears prickled behind Tov’s eyes. She could still feel the warmth of his hand as his grip gave way.

She had to force out a reply.

“No. No, he didn’t make it.” Her voice sounded off, even to her own ears. “He died on the stage.”

More silence.

“Sorry to hear that.”

Tov didn’t respond, even as the quiet grew oppressive.

She wished she could go back in time and call out Lark’s symptoms earlier.

Maybe if she’d said something before the round started, he would’ve had a better chance at surviving.

Maybe then he wouldn’t have died on display, surrounded by strangers and at most an acquaintance.

The thought weighed heavy on her chest.

“It’s not your fault, Tov.” Wren said, once again seeming to read her mind.

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Tov frowned, yawning, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I know you’re blaming yourself.” She said. “I can hear it in the tone of your voice.”

Tov would’ve rolled her eyes if her eyelids weren’t so heavy.

Wren sighed, “Look, all I’m trying to say is there was nothing you could do. It was completely out of your control.”

Tov’s head knew that was likely the case, but her heart felt differently.

Losing someone she knew every round was taking its toll.

It got worse each time it happened.

She didn’t know how much more she could take.

“Hey,” Wren called.

“Yeah?”

“Just… hang in there. Okay?” There was something buried in Wren’s words. Tov had no idea what it could be.

She yawned again, finally letting her eyes drift closed. “I’ll try.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Wren said, a little touch of warmth tucked into her voice.

“Goodnight, Tov.”

“Goodnight, Wren.”

————————————————————

This whole log is just Tov going through it and other people trying to stop her from blaming herself for everything.

And then some light sisterly bonding to balance out the angst.

My headcanon is that the guard who took Tov back to her room was Leona, an acquaintance of Himei’s ( @lookatmysillies ) through her older brother Hayate.

At this point, no one knows Lark’s cause of death. The investigation notice goes out after Tov falls asleep.

Lark belongs to @kamersona.

[ivanttakethis]

Before Round 13 - Tov’s Log

Jae (?) vs. Vii (?) - ??? Win

————————————————————

An announcement came early in the morning:

All contestants of the remaining rounds will temporarily stay back at ANAKT Garden with SEASON 40’s class, and will be sent off before ROUND 13. They will all be collared and monitored individually.

Damage control for the mess of Round 12 the night before.

Guards came around to collect everyone shortly after that.

Cassio couldn’t get Tov out of this.

There were no exceptions.

She was forced into a collar for the first time in nearly 20 years.

It felt like a vice around her neck.

“Your collar isn’t green.” The guard installing the equipment said.

Tov looked up at them with dead eyes, “It’s never been green.”

What remained of Season 39 arrived at Anakt Garden late that night and were ordered to turn in immediately.

Tov couldn’t sleep.

Each time she started to doze off, she felt a different pair of bloody hands around her throat.

When Tov felt familiar callused palms pressing against her vocal chords, she gave up on sleeping entirely.

If she was awake, she couldn’t be suffocated by the past.

In the morning, Side B contestants were allowed time outside when Season 40’s class was inside for breakfast and first block classes.

Tov looked around for Nyx, but didn’t see him. Castor was missing too.

Being back in the fields of Anakt Garden was an odd experience.

Everything was the same as Tov remembered. The bright sun, the blue sky, the green grass.

The man-made river maintained its gentle flow. There were still random musical instruments like recorders and drum sticks lying around haphazardly.

It was as if they’d never left.

A perfect little bubble of her childhood, frozen in time, brimming with nostalgia and long forgotten memories.

Tov wanted to feel strange. Unwelcome.

She wanted an eerie, uncomfortable feeling to crawl up her spine and trigger her urge to flee.

Instead, she felt warm from the familiarity of it all.

In some ways that was worse.

The largest tree in the garden — Eden, they called it — loomed in the distance at the top of a gentle hill.

A beacon of light amid the dark, troubled waters of her thoughts.

Tov liked the tree because she could see the entire field from its vantage point. It was easy to watch over all of her classmates as they played with one another.

She spent a lot of time under the shade of Eden, reading, observing, or simply lazing around. Most of the time she was there with Himei, or Tallis, or both.

Stasya tagged along with Tallis once or twice, from what she could remember.

Moran would come by now and then to wax about philosophy while Tov listened, or peer over her should as she read books about the cosmos.

Flor came too, often asking to play with the silver clips in Tov’s braids. Tov couldn’t remember ever saying no.

When Solei came, Aurien came with her, and they would all nap together.

Sometimes Nyx would show up to play her a new song he learned on his bass. Other times he just came to pester her into a debate.

On the rare occasions Tov was alone, she would watch Azure down by the river as he stared up at the clouds.

It all seemed so long ago now.

Tov found herself walking towards the tree before her mind could catch up with her movements. Her body was relying solely on muscle memory.

She didn’t resist it.

She was tired.

So tired.

All she wanted to do was rest her head in someone’s lap and sleep.

When Tov reached the top, she looked up to take in the sight.

Eden was a tall, sturdy oak tree; a species native to Earth.

Her branches reached up to the top of the dome and stretched outward. Broad leaves, deep green in color, wove together to form a thick canopy over the top of the hill.

Sunlight filtered through the gaps and dappled the grass below, little twinkles of light dancing as the branches swayed.

Tov managed a weary smile.

Hello again, old friend.

Eden’s leaves rustled in the artificial breeze, as if to answer,

Welcome back.

She laid down on her back in the shade and closed her eyes.

If she listened closely, she could hear the clinking of a wind chime and a chorus of pitch perfect voices singing in the distance.

For a moment, she was a child again.

She wasn’t wearing a collar.

All of her classmates were still alive.

Alien Stage was just a nebulous concept for the future versions of them to worry about.

Tallis was still there next to her…

“Oh! Hi Tov.”

The illusion shattered.

Tov cracked open one eye, then the other, and sat up, blinking blearily.

Had she actually fallen asleep?

Standing over her was a young woman around her age with long, white braids and a pink mask covering her nose and mouth.

Someone from the Season 40 class, presumably.

Her complexion was about the same as Tov’s, just a bit lighter; except for the patch of pale skin on the left side of her face, stretching from her temple to just below her eye. It reminded Tov of Noora.

But there was something… off about her eyes. They were light grey — a stark contrast to her brown skin — but the oddness wasn’t the color.

There was something else Tov couldn’t put her finger on.

It left her feeling unsettled.

More than that, why was she greeting her like an old friend?

Tov never forgot a face. She was sure they’d never met before.

“Who are you?” The question came out more accusatory than Tov had intended, but the stranger seemed to find her terseness funny.

“Whoops, sorry!” She chuckled. Tov could tell she was smiling under her mask by the way her eyes creased at the corners. “I forgot, I know a lot about you, but you don’t know anything about me. I’m Wren. Wren Ra.”

Wren held her hand out and Tov cautiously shook it. Her palms were smooth, completely unblemished.

“Wren.” Tov repeated. “Got it.”

“It’s so nice to see you again. Your performance in Round 10 was breathtaking! I wish I could sing with as much emotion as you did.” Wren said. “Everyone here in the garden was so moved by your voice. It’s no wonder you have the highest score of the season!”

The highest score wasn’t worth all of the losses she endured.

Not even close.

“Thank you.” Tov said, unsure of how else to respond.

A high pitched bell rung in the distance, signaling the end of first block.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Wren said, turning to leave. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

Tov’s eyebrows furrowed.

What more is there to talk about? We aren’t even supposed to be talking in the first place.

“Uh, sure?”

Wren smiled again, “Great! See you then!”

Tov watched her trek down the hill until she was out of sight. She laid back down on the grass, but couldn’t get comfortable this time.

Something Wren said bothered her.

“It’s so nice to see you again.”

Again?

Have we seen each other before?

————————————————————

Wren is here!! We cheered!!

I loved writing this log and getting to reflect on Tov’s memories of Anakt Garden and her friends. This might actually be my favorite one so far.

And I’m so glad @season39 gave me the perfect opportunity to have the sisters meet, even if Tov doesn’t know who Wren is yet.

Though Tov describes Wren differently than she appears her portrait. What’s up with that? 🤔

And how does Wren know so much about Tov?

I guess we’ll have to see!

Bonus: The “callused palms” Tov mentions when she feels like she’s being choked are Tallis’s.

He played the harp and harpists tend to get calluses on their hands from extensive practice.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Castor, Himei, and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.

Stasya belongs to @billwasnot.

Moran belongs to @geospiral.

Flor belongs to @sotogalmo.

Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse.

Aurien belongs to @aurienneirua.

Azure belongs to @azureitri.

Noora belongs to @kamersona.

[ivanttakethis]

Both Tov and Wren understand the concept of death. They don’t believe in the Great Anakt either.