#i get that her S E V E R E anxiety is a her problem that i can’t fix

[bassciven]

like it’s not about all the little things that i keep saying are pissing me off. it’s the fact that i continuously feel like an afterthought in my own relationship because she’s too wrapped up in her own thoughts in her own head to notice the world around her and act like she isn’t the only one in it.

[uwuwriting]

Erm Tamaki and Hawks bringing their kids to work??? Like their daughters and maybe Hawks has twins but only brought his little girl cause you took their boy to the doc or something??

C U T E N E S S  O V E R L O A D!!! OMG this is adorable. Just to let you guys know I’ll use the names I have used before for the kids (here for Tamaki I’ll use Cho Amajiki) so things don’t get confusing. Love ya. 💖💖💖

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Amajiki Tamaki

-Cho was now an energetic five year old little girl and her interest in her parent’s hero work was peeking.

-Things in the Amajiki household were semi chaotic the past couple of days since you had a mission across seas.

-So Tamaki was left to take care of his little five year old all by himself.

-Everything was going smoothly until Cho’s daycare called and informed them that they were closing for the day because of some flu incidents in Cho’s class.

-The Amajikis never really trusted others with their baby girl so they never had a babysitter.

-And Tamaki didn’t want to start now, with you away and him at work.

-Mirio and Nejire were at their agencies working so Tamaki decided to take her with him, let her see hero work up close. 

-She was ecstatic once she heard the news, not only because she was going to see her parents’ agency but also she got to spend the whole day with her daddy.

-Daddy’s girl to the core.

-She was really talkative on the way to the agency, telling Tamaki about her future plans and how they would fight villains together.

-But everything changed when they stepped through the doors and everyone was looking at them.

-Cho had Tamaki’s shyness when it came to new people and his anxiety for crowds, so when almost the whole agency came over to them and towered over her, she was petrified. 

-She grasped her father’s leg and buried her little head into his pant leg.

-Tamaki seeing his baby being so terrified, picked her up and didn’t let her go for the rest of the day.

-He knew that she was struggling with the new faces, he used to experience the same terror, but unlike him she had someone to give her a little push and help her out of her shell.

-He didn’t pressure her to talk to anyone but he always motioned for her to say ‘hello’ or wave at the employee they were talking with.

-Cho relaxed once they entered his office going as far as to distance herself for more than five minutes.

-Every time someone entered ,however, she would run back to him and hop on his lap, hiding herself into his chest.

-Remember how I said that he didn’t let her go all day?

-That includes meetings.

-Since he knows how quite she is, he would take her to every single meeting he had planned for that day, positioning her in his lap and letting her play with his pen.

-Thankfully, he didn’t have to go on patrol that day because that would’ve been a problem.

-When they got home, Cho would still not let go of her dad not that he minded.

-Tamaki asked her if she liked it there and if she wanted to go back sometime.

-Surprisingly, despite the horrifying crowd, she sounded excited about returning to the agency whenever he wanted. 

-As long as mommy was with them this time.

Hawks/Keigo Takami

-Your son four year old son, Kai, had gotten sick with the flu and you were desperately trying to keep him form his twin sister Daia.

-Of course that was a challenge.

-The two little devils were inseparable no matter what and a common cold wouldn’t change that.

-However, when Kai’s fever wouldn't go down one morning you decided to take him to the doctor, leaving little Daia with her daddy for the day.

-Keigo was over the moon.

-Spending a whole day with his baby girl sounded like a dream and he made it his goal to have some quality father-daughter time.

-Sadly he got called into the agency, even though it was his day off.

-Being the bird brain he is he decided to take Daia with him and plan for a quick tour of the agency with one of his secretaries until he was done settling their problem.

-What he didn’t calculate however was that Daia would 1)want to be with him all the time and not with some assistant and 2)that no one really knew about her existence...

-Being the no.2 hero, Hawks had to keep things form the media in order to guarantee his loved ones safety and that included the very existence of his children.

-The moment the two stepped into the agency, everyone thought that Daia was just some lost little girl Hawks found on the way here. 

-Once they saw the small red wings on her back though, they connected the dots and they were losing their shit.

-Keigo, really wasn’t in the mood for their questions since they kinda were the reason that his day with his baby was ruined, so we just scooped her up and made a mad dash to his office. 

-While he dealt with the issue, Daia was exploring his office, observing every nook and cranny, cringing at some of her’s and Kai’s baby photos she found stacked in one of his drawers and tried on his jacket (which swallowed her).

-Hawks spent some time just admiring her, the pitter patter of her little feet on the marble floor and her red wings , so similar to his, fluttering every so often as she saw something exciting. 

-Once he was done he asked her what she wanted to do.

-Without her brother Daia felt a little lost, not really knowing what she wanted to do. 

-So Keigo proposed that they stayed here for sometime, in order to give her a tour of his workplace and to show her where he met her mother.

-After their little tour they made a beeline home, both feeling utterly exhausted by all the questions from the employees.

-Ordering food for all four of them, they put on some music and just danced like crazy for an hour straight.

-When Kai returned he was tackled to the floor by his sister and bombarded with information about their dad’s agency. 

-Kai was beyond jealous pouting baby chicken.

[lunisromianelettucerevenge]

I'm putting this on here to never forget so that even it I forgot I have this to remember.

My mom is getting ready for a interview and has been out of a job since Christmas. Now I had always had and issue and terrible anxiety when she would go in my room and it use my things (teacups and utensils). I expressed this to her and she said along the lines of "Great, I'm glad you are opening up to me blah blah"

So today, as I stated, she is getting ready for this interview and of course she is running late. She wakes me up to zip up her dress, no problem, but then when I went to the bathroom and she comes back to say, not ask but say "I'm going in you room to use your presume"

I say "Wait no, I don't want you to go in my room."

Then says "Oh Luna, get the fuck over it!"

G E T T H E F U C K O V E R I T!

I'm soooooo done with my mother. The world must revolve around her. I have to be her doormat, her maid, her scapegoat, her first response, her mechanic, her therapist, her home nurse, her chef, her validation, her jester, her life saver. Fuck her. I see this every year but then I forget or feel like it's all my fault. Remember Luna. R e m e b e r T H I S!

[loyalshrimpfan]

Fluff alphabet with Cate Blanchett with Luna(singer)

A – Anger (What was their first fight about? Any big or recurring arguments?)

They have a lot of fights about Cates flirty behavior towards people, she hated it so much especially since they weren’t really in the public eye so people thought Luna was a string along

B – Best (What would they say is the other’s best trait?)

Luna loves Cates smile, it makes her forget about everything. All it takes during a fight is for her to smile at her and Luna just losses all anger and smiles too.

Cate loves Lunas voice, she was a very classic sounding singer and Cate couldn’t get enough, there is gifs and videos all over the internet of Cate swooning when she watches Luna perform at Award shows.

C – Camera (How do they document their relationships? Who likes to take pictures? Or videos?)

Cate isn’t one to post anything on social media at all! But that’s all Luna has over her Instagram is pictures of her and cate or just cate because hot damn!

D – Dates (What are their dates like?)

Since Cate has such a big presence you too never really go out so you don’t have to deal with Paparazzi

E – Early (What was the first month of dating like?)

Very awkward, acting like you don’t know each other when you see each other on red carpets or any events, but once you weren’t in public there was so much cuddling and making love

F – Friends (How is their relationship with each other’s group of friends?)

Luna is friends with Sara, Sandra, Rooney and any other person Cate hangs out with at the moment. They wouldn’t be best friends but Luna had no problems with Cates friends

Cate is nice to lunas friends but they are young like Luna so she thinks they are pretty immature to be honest but anyone Luna likes she will like.

G – Gifts (Do they like giving each other gifts? What kind?)

Cate loves giving gifts to Luna, anytime she finds her something she thinks Luna would like she would pick it up she didn’t care the price of course.

H – Hugs (All things involving hugs)

They were a very lovey touchy couple behind closed doors. Luna loved hugging her close so she could hear her heart beat

I – Inside Jokes (Do they have any?)

Luna loved joking about Cates sexuality since for the longest time she claimed she would never have a relationship with a women

J – Jealousy (Who gets jealous easier? How do they show their jealousy?)

Luna got very jealous since she was so flirty and touchy with her co stars than the two wouldn’t even take pictures together at red carpets, she had no idea why though. Until one day they were both at the premier for Thor 3, Luna was there because a bunch of her songs were on the album plus she made a cameo, she had got there before Cate so she just stood and smiled as they were yelling “Luna over here smile real big” she had on a beautiful scarlet dress and her long brown hair was curled half up half down when suddenly it got really loud “Cate! Right here” Luna rolled her eyes hard in her head ‘wow another event she ignores me at’ she goes to walk further into the red carpet when she feels a hand on her arm pulling her close and was shocked when it was cate, she smiles pulling her close “over here guys” cate leans down and whispers in her ear “just smile love” Luna blushes as she feels cate kiss her forehead, the paparazzi just eatting this up

K – Kiss (How do they kiss? Who usually initiates?)

They both kissing each other, they both love being close to each other

L – Love (How do they first say those three words?)

Cate just blurts it out during an argument, after Carol Luna was pretty suspicious about Rooney’s relationship with Cate, she wasn’t suspicious about Rooney liking Cate since she was Dating her boyfriend but she didn’t really trust cate which lead to the huge fight “for Christ sakes I love you!”

M – Movies (What kinds of movies do they watch together? Is it a regular Netflix ritual?)

They love all marvel movies so Luna was so excited when Cate got into marvel

N – Nicknames (Things they call each other)

Cate called her the usual names. Darling, love, baby, honey, sweetheart. All of which Luna loved and she always blushes which cate loved.

O – One (Tell us about the moment they realized they were with the one.)

They were in Hawaii just on a trip since Cate had just wrapped a huge movie, they were sitting on the beach just watching the sunset when Cate looks over at Luna. Her brown hair in a pony tail but pieces touching her cheek gently, her blue eyes almost glowing from the sun, suddenly Luna turns to her and smiles “is something wrong” Cate shakes her head “no you are just so beautiful”

P – Pizza (What is their favorite food to eat together?)

They love Chinese food and get it at least 3 times a week

Q – Quit (Do they break up? Almost break up? What happened?)

They never fight enough to where they almost break up

R – Rainy Days (How do they comfort each other on dark days?)

When the anxiety of fame and depression get to Luna she breaks down hard but cate is always there to hold her while she cry’s and Cate says the sweetest words to her “it’ll be okay I promise, I’m not going anywhere I love you so much”

S – Soft (Something one of them did that turned the other into absolute mush)

After the Thor Red carpet Cate always loved to gush about her, in an interview a woman asks “how is it dating someone that is not only younger than you but also so established at this age” Cate smiles “it’s a joy, she is so versatile in everything she does her voice can sing anything than when she acts it’s so natural for her! She is just is perfect, her range is amazing I couldn’t be happier!”

T – Texting (Do they text each other a lot? What do they usually talk about over the phone?)

They do text a lot when they aren’t together which is most of the time, Luna sends her a lot of Tik toks to make cate laugh

U – Unique (Tell us about some of their odd habits that surprised one another.)

Her vocabulary is truly amazing, she will be talking when she says a super long word and Luna laughs “what does that even mean?”

V – Vanity (Something they’re proud of in themselves and their partner)

Cate loves how Luna dresses while cate has like 10 stylists Luna does her own hair, makeup and picks her own outfits for events

W – Wedding (Tell us about your wedding head canon if they’ve gotten that far. Or if not, have they talked about it?)

They talk about marriage and neither are in s rush to get married since Cate had just gotten out of a long marriage

X – X (Something they hate about the other)

Cate hated how Luna could get anyone’s attention without even trying, when she walked into the room everyone’s eyes went onto her

Y – Youtube (What are they like online? Do they post about their relationship constantly?)

They don’t post on YouTube but since they were both famous there relationship was pretty known

Z – Zoo (Are they into animals? Do they want pets? What kind?)

Luna had a mini farm at her house in LA, she had pigs, chickens and cats which cate loves.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Lost Hope (Favored Ones, Part 27.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: "Don’t go chasing waterfalls...” - TLC

For those who might not catch my drift: chasing waterfalls = chasing the reader.

Part summary: Coming terms with yourself is something that is important. It’s something that you need to do in order to become the better version of yourself. Abby almost finished the process of coming to terms with all the things that were happening around her, something else made her thirst for revenge wake up again.

A/N: This chapter is from A B B Y ‘ S  P O V. Be aware of that. I won’t be sorry for it, I learned to understand and to love Abby, even if I was against her when I played the game. Lev is an amazing character too. And now Mel is alive, there’s a possibility to change how Abby’s story will continue from this point.

Warnings: Depiction of torture, bone breaking, depiciton of blood and manslaughter, anxiety, rage, anger, a bit of fluff at the end.

Word count: 4.8 K

Tagging:   @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy @gabymiller

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day three - evening:

The sea seemed to be serene and calm at the time their boat had taken off, it was quiet and the breeze was cold. This peaceful feeling could be simply also affected by everything they've been through so far. Even from the proximity they currently were from the island, they could still see Haven slowly burning down to the ground. Sometimes, the woman operating the boat would swear that she could hear the people screaming and guns firing. It was just the ghost of the sacred place haunting her brain, yet it was still there.

Lev, for the first half of an hour on the sea, was clinging onto the jacket Abby landed him. Then, the serene and gentle moves of the ocean made him fall asleep. The boy was now pressed into the small area between Abby's ankles, napping before they'd be back to the aquarium. The kid must've been exhausted - both emotionally and physically. That kid, who was now safely laying there squeezed into the tightest space he shouldn't be even able to fit, had killed his mother in self-defense. That kid watched his sister being shot to pieces. And he made it even though the despair, pain, and exhaustion.

It was weird to know that now, they were safe. No-one was after them. And as soon as they'd hit the aquarium, Lev, Owen, and Mel were about to leave Seattle for good in the search for the fireflies of Santa Barbara. Owen was asking Abby to join them while Melanie, with all the, despise she carried inside, had told her that once she, her boyfriend, and that Scars kids will leave Seattle, she will never want to see her goddamned face again. But now, things could change and maybe, for Lev, Abby could leave too.

That night, she had seen her family and friends being killed in the passion of the fight. For those who kids, she stood up to the only everlasting authority she blindly followed for the last couple of years - and Isaac was now killed, his corpse was rotting somewhere on the Seraphites island and Abby hoped that his body would be eaten by some wild animals to end his life in the shame he deserved. The time of WLF was coming to a sure end.

Abby's problem with the situation was as follows: soldiers were seemingly remorse-less characters lead by their general, Isaac for this instance, who just did what they were told. And for the most part, it was true. Yet, honestly, nothing hit Abby as personally as walking through the Seraphite settlement, following Lev's sister around. She, and the other WLFs, were used to seeing the best out of the best, the best warriors the Scars were able to train. And this hit different. These weren't the soldiers anywhere in sight - these were women and children, even men and other farmers who were not trained in combat - innocent people who were barely able to protect themselves were massacred ever since the WLF attack was started. That wasn't right at all. The things WLF has done on the island were wrong in every way possible.

It was all based around the battle of Seattle, which was going on for years now with occasional pauses, of course. Neither of the sides were good or bad in the situation. It was just a matter of habit - one side attacked, the other attacked back. One side overstepped the boundaries, the other reacted to this. It was this way for more than five years. Seattle was in this war ever before the time Abby and her friends arrived. And for that, she had never seen the true meaning of peaceful time in the city.

Abby wasn't looking around - the only things she saw were the ones directly in front of her eyes. She wasn't able to look behind her orders, she never needed to think about what she was doing, she just did what she was told. Until the moment she entered Jackson - and until the moment she met Lev and Yara. Jackson was a wild experience on its own.

Their small family was broken way before Jackson - Owen and Mel were now dating. And given the history of Abby and Owen, he was seeing her less and less. The final nail in the coffin being Mel's pregnancy. Nora and Whitney were taking every mission they could just to avoid her, the hospital being the last place Abby would ever see them. This left Manny being the last friend who remained by her side after Jackson was done. In the last few days, they were brought together after a long time in one way or another, but all Abby could thank was a weird coincidence of chances.

And there, there were the two siblings Abby met on her journey - Yara and Lev. At the moment, Abby had anyone except Lev - Yara was shot and killed by Abby's people during their escape from the island. It didn't matter that Abby tried to tell everyone about the kids not being any kind of threat to their cause. But it didn't matter - Yara was shot. In answer, Abby shot back at Isaac. Now, he was dead for real. She heard one of the radio communications over the WLF channel. She had done everything for the boy. Abby quite literally had sacrificed her whole known world for a boy she barely knew.

Even though all of what happened, Abby felt that every turn she made during their way revealing over the last three days, that every word and every choice set her on the right path. Now, maybe, she could get on the boat with Lev, Mel, and Owen, setting on her way to find the Fireflies again.

There was still the whole 'hunt Joel Miller down' matter. Abby was aware of the loose threads and unfinished business there was. It felt very unsatisfying, knowing she will most likely never get her revenge on the man. Her brain accepted the information some time ago. There was no climax to the whole hunt started by a piece of information given to her by an old Firefly named Eugene. The last four years were coming in vain. Was it even worth it at that point? Her family was broken to pieces, she had a kid to protect and once Lev leaves with Mel and Owen, she won't probably have any use no more. Well, if that would happen, she would travel back to Jackson. She would try to find Joel again. And Abby knew that once the guards on the gates will see her in the distance, she will be dead in the next minute.

It was more or less about coming to terms with how things were now. Before the mission to Jackson, she was sure that her life is already over. And she was sure that the only thing having the power to start it again was the murder of Joel Miller. The revenge murder if you will. That opinion was changed the moment she accepted Lev and Yara as her people. These two were just kids. Fucking kids in this fucked up world. And when Abby could keep them safe, why wouldn't she keep them safe? Joel Miller killed her dad and this was something she couldn't come around - but even if the old man wasn't dead, Abby tried to reconsider the things happening in the last few weeks, more importantly over the last two days.

Now, she wasn't out solely to revenge her father. She now had someone to protect. There was someone she needed to stay put for. It was a small family, it was sure as hell a broken one, but it was her family. No matter what Joel fucking Miller was doing, he was her last priority now. To be honest, Abby was just glad she's alive. And she'd be even more glad once she'll finally get out of Seattle - one way, on Owen's boat, or another, getting killed by the Jackson citizens. Abby was ready.

With the last remnants of her energy, she made sure the boat stays put before she started to wake Lev up. - “Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up.” - She whispered with a soft smile, nudging Lev’s shoulder as the boy started to massage his eyes. - “We’re at the aquarium. Come on. Let’s get dry.” - Abby arched her eyebrows, showing Lev another assuring smile. All she was trying to do was to keep Lev calm for now.

For sure, the boy will be freaking out for one way or another, but they didn’t have time for panic attacks at the moment. Slowly, they both walked back to the aquarium's back entrance, beaten up like two dogs. And Abby was fine with that. They were finally safe inside the building.

With a yawn, she was about to unlock the door leading to the improvised surgeon room, only to be met by the resistance of the wooden door, which never had happened before. Naturally, it piqued her interest. She tried to press harder, but it didn't lead anywhere. Mentioning for Lev to hide behind the corner, Abby started to smash her way inside. It took a few big blows with her shoulder before the door moved at least an inch. After a while, the barricade finally eased and fell on the ground. It was the damn ventilation shaft. Why in the hell had this fallen on the ground? Just as she furrowed upon thinking about the shaft, Lev noticed something else. His palm tugged Abby's top as his head motioned in the direction of a dead dog laying on the ground.

"Is that..." - Lev whispered with fear in his voice, walking closer to the animal. He was afraid of the WLF dogs ever since he had seen the first one. Why? These dogs were trained as weapons. WLF trained the animals to sniff unknown human scents, reacting to it in a matter of seconds - they tracked the enemies down, attacking immediately. And honestly, dogs were one of the most useful combat advances aside from grenades they had come up with. But when Lev became Mel and Owen's friend, as much as he became Abby's friend, they tried to show him that the dogs weren't just murderous animals. Alice, the German shepherd Mel was treasuring a lot, was laying there, stabbed to death.

"Yea." - Abby said simply, walking to the dog. Someone else was in the aquarium. Lev saw the act of Abby kneeling down to the dog as a goodbye ceremony. But this wasn't the situation in which Abby was showing her grief for the animal. Gently, she pulled her palm down under the dog's fur to feel the warmth of the body. To feel it a bit better, she closed her eyes, realizing that the body is almost cold. Whoever had infiltrated the aquarium was there a long time ago.

And given the dog was most likely stabbed to avoid attracting the attention of Mel and Owen, these two were in danger too. Abby gulped with her mouth dry, realizing that maybe, they arrived into the aquarium too late. Quietly, Abby tiptoed to the surgeon room, watching if the room is safe to enter before walking in to find herself some weapon. - "You stay behind me, okay?" - Abby looked the boy into his eyes, having a serious expression on her face.

"I want to help." - Lev rebelled against Abby's demand, but the woman just rolled her eyes. - "You will keep the watch over the perimeter with your bow. You see something we don't know, you hold them at gunpoint, you shoot, okay?" - Abby put her palm on the boy's shoulder, smoothing it. Yeah, he was good with a bow, and plus, she felt that he'll be safer behind her back. Nothing would get to Lev without it going through her first. With that, Lev felt some sort of usefulness, calming down.

Both of them took a second to adjust to the surroundings, peaking both their senses, preparing for whoever is awaiting them deeper inside the aquarium. When they felt ready, they moved to other rooms - they slowly searched every room. They walked through the improvised bedroom, the bathroom, some supply cabinets before they were about to enter the big room with a whale hanging from the ceiling. An iron, watery stench hit Abby's nose. It was a smell she knew perfectly - the cold smell of blood.

For a moment, she couldn't find the source. And she barely had the time to find it - because another human sped up against her, trying to take her down. Abby almost tried to stab the woman but stopped herself when she realized the woman's pregnant. The woman was Melanie. Mel who was pretty obviously freaked out. Abby stepped aside from the crying woman and pointed her palm towards Lev, letting him know that it's okay and that he should put his bow down.

One quick glance over was all to give Abby a bad gut feeling. Melanie was there, freaked out, tired out because of the hysteric crying. The gut feeling was telling Abby that she knows exactly from whom the blood stench is coming from. Yet at the moment, she had to deal with hysteric Melanie.

"It's me, hey, I'm here." - Abby tried to fidgeting, significantly smaller woman. But Melanie pushed her off while pointing her finger at Abby.

"Who the fuck you think you are?" - Melanie asked with her voice raspy from the crying, her widened eyes going from Lev to Abby and the other way around. - "This is on you, on both of you." - Mel straightened up. Abby didn't have any idea about what Melanie was talking about, but she straightened up, reminding the woman of her height.

"Every fucking time I hear 'Abby has a problem', I know it is going to bite me in my ass. And guess what, Abigail. This time, it bit everyone in the ass. Manny's dead, Nora's dead, Leah's dead, Whitney was murdered... And I can continue." - Melanie walked in a small circle, entwining her fingers in her short hair. - "Or did you get my point? Huh?" - Again, Mel pushed Abby. This time, she pushed her so hard, that Abby slipped and fell down.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." - "The whole fucking Jackson trip. That's what I'm talking about." - Melanie took in a deep breath. Lev had sat down a bit far away from them, just listening to their fight. On Abby's body language, there could be seen that her throat had clinched a bit. Jackson? How would all of this tie to Jackson? And... How could she fucking know that all of these people were killed? Sure, these people were in Jackson, but also could be just a coincidence. These people could be in a bad place at a bad time. That was all. The whole mystery.

"You were so focused on yourself that you ignored everything that was going on, weren't you? Am I even surprised?" - "Can you just fucking tell me what you're on about?" - Abby fired back, prooving Mel's point perfectly. She didn't even know that all of their friends were getting killed, she didn't know what was happening with her own fucking people. Funny. - "The girl from Jackson is here, taking out every last one of us. It's like waiting for her to check your name on the list while she stands above your corpse. And... And guess what, Abby, she's after you. And she isn't alone." - Melanie giggled. It wasn't an amused giggle. It was a sound full of despair and fear, it was a borderline cry for help.

"Why are you alive then? She's here for me, not for all the others. Maybe... Maybe she wasn't the one who killed the rest. Because you're alive, so..." - Just when Mel looked into her eyes, Abby connected the two dots. You spared Melanie's life because you took another one. At that, Abby's lungs stopped to work. She was gasping for air, turning on her side, when she saw the view hidden behind the table. She couldn't see Owen, she could see gallons of blood on the ground.

"And how do I know? She told me. She looked me dead in the eyes and told me she's here for you. And this, my dear, I think is your last stop. Because there are at least three people somewhere out there in Seattle, looking for you. And one of them is your man, Joel fucking Miller." - Melanie grinned and threw the map to Abby's legs. - "I took you a little souvenir so you can finish your suicidal mission once and for all. I'll take Lev with me and we're leaving. And you're... You're not welcomed." - Melanie hissed, looking at the boy. Abby was falling deeper and deeper into the initial shock, realizing that indeed, every word Melanie had said was true.

This was her fault. Everything was her fault. Which was pretty ironic, given the circumstances leading to this moment. Just an hour ago, Abby allowed herself to let the thing go. After four years of the rage eating her alive, she, for the first time, saw the hope around her. There was Lev for whom she wanted to do better than she was doing up to that point. Abby needed to be better for the new family she found. Just for this to happen, bringing the whole family dynamic to the ground. Joel Miller, once again, was the source of her problems.

"Mel, no, please." - Lev picked himself up, trying to plead for her taking Abby with them. But the more Abby watched the blood, the more she realized this wasn't a thing she could let go. It would find her anywhere. It would haunt her down any time. Melanie shook her head, telling Lev what she wanted to without words. - "Then I'm going with her." - Lev said and backed to Abby, who was still panicking and laying on the floor.

"You'll get yourself killed, kid. You're not going anywhere. End of the story." - Melanie told the boy and left to the upper quarters, slowly smoothing her belly. Lev was still standing there, watching as Abigail picker herself up, walking to the dead body. Shivers were running up her spine and cold sweat slowly leaked down her back. First, she saw the dried footprints in the blood and the pipe which was covered in not only blood but in the rest of what seemed to be Owen's brain. Trying to brace yourself for what she was about to see was dumb. At the moment she saw what that Jackson girl had done to him, Abby just threw up on the ground next to him. It was more or less only water, but there were things coming out of her. Melanie was right. This was all Abby's doing.

"That fucking bitch." - She muttered out, sitting on the other side, looking at the dead body. When they've captured you, you were sure one of the toughest nuts to crack. But if she'd suspect someone coming after her, it would be the Tommy man who they captured alongside you. Which happened. The Tommy man shot Manny in his face. But you? Such a fragile, scared girl? No. Abby would never suspect you'd be able to do such bullshit. She wouldn't ever think that there was a scenario in which you'd track her down, killing her friends one by one until you'd bump into her.

"Do you... Do you want to follow her?" - Lev asked silently, sitting next to her on the ground. It wasn't close enough to disrupt her personal space, but close enough to reassure her that he's there. Next to her, ready to go after the people he didn't know, fighting for a cause that didn't include him at all. Now, she was his people. In fact, she was everything that Lev was left with. And if Mel thought he'd leave Abby behind just like that, she was naïve, to say the least.

"This has nothing to do with you, kid." - "She, whoever she is, killed one of my friends. Now, it has something to do with me. I'm a part of this now." - Lev told Abby back with his head clear. This one kid was courageous. And ready for another battle. Of which Abby was hella sure. But even if she chuckled, looking down on her palms, she didn't want the kid to come. - "Listen. This... This is very personal to me. This is something that drags for the last couple of years. And it involves me, my family and something terrible. The only one who can put end to all of this is me. And I won't let you drag yourself into shit that doesn't involve you. I want you safe." - "Abby..." - "It makes me strong. You're my people now. Even Mel is... And I need to keep you both safe." - Abby whispered with tears of anger in her eyes, catching Lev's hand to hold it for a moment. She didn't know that Mel was standing above them, listening to every word that was said.

No matter what happened in the aquarium, no matter what the relationship she had with Abby and what she thought about her... This was everyone's cause now. Most importantly, you didn't seem to be the type to leave the things behind. Sure, now, you felt something resembling a closure after killing Owen. But how much time would pass before you'd feel the need to find Abby again? To find Mel and her baby? The time would come.

For that, it would be better to track you down when they had the chance, ending all of this for good. And even if Melanie hated Abby with everything she got now... Abby was right. Melanie was now her people - just like Abby was hers. No matter how she'd try to fight it, Mel didn't want to see the woman get killed because of the heat regarding Abby's stupidity. It didn't feel right to send Abby on a suicidal mission. This needed closure. Plus, honestly, Melanie needed Abby around once the baby would be born. She, the baby, and Lev needed a guardian. A literal watchdog.

"She's out of her mind." - Mel said silently, making both the people sitting on the ground looking up to her, standing in front of the quarters. - "I don't know what the girl was through, but she was off. It was like a blackout or something. She's dangerous. I'm terrified of her." - Mel said honestly, walking the stairs down. - "Can you go up and pack some things for me?" - Melanie smiled at Lev. Abby looked at the boy, sending him off upstairs. - "And you, come here. I don't wanna look at the..." - Melanie breathed out, still being shaken by what happened.

Mel wasn't over it at all, not a fucking chance. Her partner was brutally murdered. And she witnessed every second of it. Every. Fucking. Second. Yet... This world didn't offer them enough time to seek closure within themself, it didn't give them the time to grieve properly. Not until everything was said and done. Abby nodded at the pregnant woman's request, picking herself up from the ground.

"Listen." - Mel said quietly while leading Abby through the aquarium's interior. - "You're a fucking selfish asshole and dear Lord, I just want to punch you sometimes. And what happened between you and Owen at the boat last night peaked all of those feelings. But... How do you say it? Even if I didn't choose it voluntarily, you're now my people. That's something I have to deal with and it will take months, maybe years. But the fact is that I need you because I cant take care of myself out there once the baby will be born. This concludes in a fact - I can't let you get yourself killed while going after these people." - She stopped, looking Abby in the eyes. And with an expression showing gratefulness, Abby smiled back at her. - "We're not friends, at least not for now. Not a fucking a chance. But we're coming after them together because I'm scared of them coming back for us." - Melanie whispered. And without anything foreshadowing it, Abby hugged her, finally starting to cry into Mel's clothes.

There was too much pressure for Abby to handle - you and your people, Owen's death, Yara's murder, the whole conflict at the island proving to her as a bunch fo brainwashing lies which Isaac spoonfeed each of them, resolving in everyone's death. Melanie's cold honestly was something Abby needed bad. Melanie didn't like her, not at that point, and she was straightforward about it. At least someone was honest with Abby the whole fucking time.

"They will pay. Every last one of them. I swear." - Abby let Melanie go, carefully maneuvering her palms around Melanie's belly. - "That's the spirit." - Melanie grinned back. This was noticeably out of Mel's character. Abby honestly never seen her wishing death upon anyone except the Scars - which was excusable because the foundation in that behavior was based on Isaac's brainwashing program. Now, she was willingly after someone else, who was just a part of Abby's fuckery. Yet as Lev told Abby, this was now Melanie's cause too. The woman had the right to feel outraged towards the Jacksoners at that point. They killed her baby daddy.

No-one was left behind. Abby, after observing the map, knew the theatre which was marked as the 'hideout'. She knew precisely where the location was. Each of them set on the way during a stormy night, clothed up to stay warm against the stormy weather. Their way through the city was quick because no-one was really there. Everyone was on the island, fighting the dispute they've been told that is the main center of their existence. When Abby or Mel didn't know where to go, Lev showed them the safest way and otherwise. They kept an eye for each other and Mel was helped a lot, so they'd be sure that nothing happens to her or the baby.

It was two hours from the moment they've left the aquarium when Abby saw the theatre in the distance. It was lit up, so someone was definitely out there. The feeling she carried in her chest was fucking heavy. So fucking heavy. She wanted to shoot each of you dead, but on the other hand, she knew this could go extremely bad. Melanie was pregnant and Lev was just a fucking kid. And for a reason, now she found out there are reasons to be happy for even if she didn't murder Joel, it felt foolish to come there to kill you. It was too much of a risk. On the other hand, she promised Mel that she'd see you suffer for what you've done. There was no point in stopping.

"Now, we have to find our way inside." - Mel noted quietly upon arriving to the building. They've just tried the main door, gently, to find out if it was blocked. Of course, it was. You weren't that dumb. - "I think I have something." - Lev looked at both of them, waving at them. It was an escape staircase. That kid had eyes of the falcon because to spot it in the darkness was kind of amazing.

It was the final moment before the big climax Abby had dreamed of for so long. And she almost had to laugh at the pathetic thoughts she had. She was afraid to enter the building. Who knew what waited for them inside? Will any of them walk out of the building alive? Will any of these three people survive? Or will all of the Jacksoners be killed in bloodshed? Well, there was only one way to find out. And with that, Abby opened the window which was pre-opened by a bright yellow cable leading onto the rooftop. And so, she stepped on her final journey towards the presumed saving of her damned soul.

[floof-reppu]

Mt. Lady Fluff Alphabet

I did... the entire fluff alphabet for Mt. Lady, over 2.2k words, and I... auuugh. Just read and you’ll find out. Surprisingly only took a few hours.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

More often than not, Yu just wants to relax at home with you and watch television while cuddling on the sofa and talking about how the day has been. If she’s not into doing that, she wants to walk around the city for a bit (and possibly do some window shopping if funds allow for it). Once in a blue moon she’ll want to go to the actual movie theater if there’s a movie out that she wants to watch.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She absolutely adores your eyes and how they light up when you talk about the things you’re passionate about. That, and she loves the way that they compliment your other features. If you want to talk about parts of you that are not physical, she was definitely attracted to your personality.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Yu tries every trick in the book to cheer you up when you’re sad and will do anything for you if it makes you feel better. As for panic attacks, as long as she knows about them and if they are a common occurrence, she’ll make sure to get you alone with her and help to calm you down no matter what.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

She’s unsure about her future with you particularly because of her financial woes, but she knows that she wants to start a family with you a few years down the road. She at least wants to be financially stable to help support any future children as well as yourselves.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Yu’s outgoing personality and passion for what she does in terms of hero work translates to her being the dominant one in the relationship, although sometimes she can be rather passive when met with certain obstacles. She loves being able to make the shots in your relationship, bur she’s in no way controlling.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Yu can be pretty aggressive when she fights with you, only verbally though. She refuses to lay a hand on you and can go on for hours depending on what you’re fighting about. It takes her a few hours after getting heated to calm down, and she feels extremely guilty afterwards. She makes sure to apologize profusely afterwards for blowing up on you (even though most of the time you start it).

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Most of the time she works her tail off during the day, so when she gets off, it’s always nice to be able to relax with you. You pamper her a lot, so she’ll gush to you about how much she loves and appreciates you. She often returns your gestures to surprise you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yu has a few secrets that she’s hiding from you, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you to know about them sometime in the future. There are just a few things that she needs to get settled before she spills the rest of her secrets. 

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

When the two of you first got together, you definitely noticed the lazy side of her kick in whenever you were around her. You were okay with it at first, but the more you let her do as she pleased, the more she was inclined to sit around the house and do nothing except watch television and play on her smartphone. After having a long, LONG conversation about how she wasn’t going to be a productive member of society if she didn’t get her ass into gear, you worked with Yu to improve this aspect of her personality. 

Needless to say, she doesn’t laze around on the sofa anymore, and has even developed a training routine on her off days.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous is Yu’s fake middle name. She gets the green eyes of envy every time someone starts talking to you for at least ten minutes or longer when you’re out in public, but she knows to hold her mouth most of the time. If you’re taking too long by her standards, she’ll subtly try to get your attention by a text message (hoping that your phone wasn’t on silent) or will lightly pull on your arm.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yu’s a particularly sensual kisser and conveys a lot of her emotions when she kisses you, whether good or bad. Your first kiss with her was actually rushed, being on your second “date” with her. She did however make up for how sloppy it was by returning the favor and kissed you again right before the two of you parted ways, this time with more intensity.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

She was actually quite nervous to confess her love to you. By the third date, she absolutely knew that she wanted to be with you, even with her hero work coming first. The two of you had a conversation that same night about whether or not you would respect that her duties as a pro came first. You gave her the answer she wanted, that you knew that her duties came first and a relationship came second. 

She confessed to you the minute the two of you got up to leave, her face red as a tomato, and you couldn’t have been happier. 

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yu absolutely wants to get married to you, but at least wants to wait for at least a year or two into your relationship before tying the knot to make sure that you’re the one for her. She drops subtle hints to you whenever she’s ready, even dragging you somewhere just to make sure you possibly pick the ring that is for her.

Her dream wedding isn’t a traditional Japanese ceremony, rather a Western one. She’s always adored the white wedding gowns that she sees brides from there wear on their special day. Both of your families as well as close friends and a few of Yu’s co-workers will be invited to the ceremony.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Some of her favorite nicknames for you are “babe (original, I know)” and “hon”. She’s not that big of a fan of any other nicknames, so expect those two to be the ones she uses most often.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

When Yu’s in love, she doesn’t outright show her feelings because of her reputation as Mt. Lady that she has to uphold to the public eye, so most of the time it’s hard for others to tell that she’s in love with you. But, if someone does ask her in a more private setting if she has romantic feelings for someone else, she’ll be straightforward and spill the tea.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

She’s the opposite when it comes to her Mt. Lady persona and PDA in public. The most that she’ll do is hold your hand or give you a subtle kiss on the cheek because she “wants to seem available to all of the men” for publicity purposes, which isn’t as bad as no affection at all. It takes her all the way up to your engagement to release the details of your relationship to the public, which was actually received quite well.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Her tenacity and assertiveness in certain social situations definitely helps if you have social anxiety. As stated earlier, she is willing to do anything for you as long as she’s capable of doing the task. The dedication that she has for you is unmatched, and she hopes to keep it that way.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Whether or not Yu is romantic depends on her mood at the time. If she’s not feeling up to it, she might surprise you with something you might have seen in a movie the two of you have watched together. If not, she might just try to get creative and… spice things up (ack this is a fluff alphabet, not a NSFW one, but you get the idea).

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

At first she’s extremely self-centered, but the longer the two of you are together, the more she wants to help you achieve your dreams.You may be her second priority, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to do whatever she can to help you mark some goals off of your list. In terms of belief in you, she has a few doubts, but those are usually overlooked for the good qualities that you have. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Yu is semi-used to a routine, but she is open to any and all suggestions that you might have. Sometimes she might suggest something because she heard about it from someone else, or she saw it in a magazine or on the television and she wants to see if what they’re saying is true. 

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She definitely knows you well, and since the two of you confide in one another, that part of your relationship is solid. Most of the things she tells you is how she feels about other pros, or she complains about Midnight (because you can’t tell me that they don’t have some sort of rivalry/hatred toward one another).

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life? 

As before, Yu puts her duties as a pro hero first and her relationship second, mostly because she wants to “make it big” in terms of popularity. As soon as she’s done with hero work for the day, you become her first priority and all of her attention goes to you. Expect tons of hugs and kisses from her.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Yu really loves to talk your relationship with Edgeshot and Kamui Woods, particularly because she knows neither of them would ever out your relationship to the public until the two of you are ready. She always talks high about them to you, and the day that you get to formally meet them she’s smiling the entire time. She has a lot of trust in the two of them, and both of them are glad that Yu has someone like you in her life that will treat her well (they’re definitely invited to the wedding, by the way).

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She’s the absolute queen of cuddling on the sofa and giving you soft pecks every now and again while the two of you relax. When you’re in bed, she loves when she’s the little spoon so that she gets all of your warmth, but every once in awhile she’ll attempt to be the big spoon and squeeze the living daylights out of you.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

If you ever happen to be gone for a few days, especially if you said you would be back before then, she might get extremely worried and cry a little, but one phone call can make a difference for her. Hearing your voice over the phone or even a video chat so she can see that you’re okay helps her not to worry.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

If it’s within her power, Yu will more than likely do it. She may be a little reluctant during the beginning portion of your relationship, but she only does this so that she gets a good gauge on where she wants the relationship to go. She definitely want to take the relationship slow for these reasons. 

[wapwetasspirates]

SO SFW AZ (Buckle)

A: Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Affection is hard to come by in her world and she is still learning, she tries but tends to be more brisk than affectionate but won’t deny her s/o it when you ask. It’s usually best to tell her exactly what sort of affection you need, she’ll learn but she needs patience. When she gets the hang of it she is cautious but willing, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Verbal affection is usually easier with her than physical as she isn’t used to much physical contact anymore.

B: Breath (What can their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Being soft. Listening when she speaks. Simple things she had forgotten she was allowed to have and give often leave her reeling. In quieter moments when she thinks you can’t see you might even catch her growing misty eyed though she’s quick to deny it. 

C: Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Depends on the types of cuddles. She doesn’t do well when she feels trapped and prefers closeness to being wrapped up in each other. She’s more prone to flopping her head in your lap than anything else as it gives her the freedom to get up and still see all around her but still be touching you. If you stroke her head while she’s doing this you might get her to purr though she’ll deny it to her grave and beyond.

D: Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)  

Being what they need. Buckle doesn’t think much of herself as a partner and it's all very new. She is easily overwhelmed and flustered by her emotions so her dreams are simple. She wants peace and quiet and to make you happy. 

E: Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

As much as you put in. She is very much tit for tat at the core of her being and will match whatever she is given. 

F: Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Depends on the type of fear, genuine terror is different from a jump scare or nerves. Buckle tends to expect you to figure it out and can be a bit stand-offish if it isn’t a real threat but tell her you need some comfort and she is there in a heartbeat. With genuine terrors or anxieties she is actually good at breaking things down into more manageable parts and logicing things out. It may not be the most comforting but she tries.

G: Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

She's probably the worst gift giver in the history of human and monster kind. She has no concept of what is appropriate or not. She is as liable to give you toilet paper as she is lingerie. In return she loves handmade items but she’ll take whatever you give, she isn’t picky and is usually just surprised you got her something at all. 

H: Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Not much of a hugger, she leans towards literally leaning on her s/o. Soft shoulder nudges or being in your presence. Hugs make her feel a bit cornered but give her fair warning and don’t make it too long (or give her room to break away) and she doesn’t mind receiving them. In time she’ll get better at giving them. 

I: Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Not at all. She’ll try if asked but it's a foreign concept to her and often frustrates her when she thinks it isn’t going well. Physical intimacy without danger is also a foreign concept and it can take her a moment to ease up, not to mention genuine affection flusters her it is highly likely you will end up with a sulking, confused blushing skeleton. She’s trying.

J: Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Yes and no. She is jealous all the time and assumes you’ll likely leave the moment something better comes around but she tends to keep it under wraps. At most she’ll be distant, the silent offering of a choice, them or her. 

K: Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?) 

Actually fairly clumsy and prone to being a bit rough. Talk her through it and she’ll get the hang of it. She actually enjoys kisses, especially soft neck kisses. It's a vulnerable part of the body and that you give her access to it means more than most realize and if she offers you the same in return you can rest assured she’s head over heels. 

L: Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say it or show it?) 

Only when she knows one else is around or whispering it softly so only you can hear. Its often accompanied by grumbling and blushes but she means it and tries to show it by offering the words up whenever she can muster the gusto to do it. 

M: Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so what kind of ceremony?)

While committed the idea of marriage makes her balk. She is nervous at the idea of tying you down and has never given much thought to a ceremony as she never thought it’d be something she could have. 

N: Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) 

Quiet familiar places because she feels more at ease and less like she has to be on guard and can focus solely on her s/o. She actually enjoys dates but she struggles to ask for them, often phrasing it like a casual hangout instead of a date. 

O: Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do for/with their s/o?) 

She isn’t one for grand gestures but if she really wants to make a point every once in awhile she bug Coral for advice. Be prepared to the most chaotic but romantic day of your life and yes something most definitely will catch on fire. 

P: Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

For Buckle relationships are rather serious. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a sense of humor but she tends to be very cautious at first, especially since her humor errs on the darker side. She’s one for actual pranks but they can get a bit out of control and she’s yet to lose a prank war and some of her scars have very interesting stories she’d rather Coral stop repeating.

Q: Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

She listens to opinions and advice but that doesn’t mean she’ll take it. She’s a bit set in her ways and it's hard for her to let go of the control she has. But a bit of a hypocrite, she has no problem offering hers and tends to think her opinions hold more weight. It can be frustrating to navigate.

R: Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

A mixture of both. When she is comfortable she can be spontaneous but she is a cautious skeleton and doesn’t always care for the unknown. It really just depends on the adventure in question.

S: Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Buckle doesn’t sleep often and likes to watch over her s/o while you sleep. When she can be cajoled into bed she likes her head on your chest so she can listen to your heartbeat. 

T: Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

At first not at all. Even after a relationship starts she is hard pressed to give them full trust of herself, her sister, or anything. That doesn’t mean she won’t but it comes slowly and you can’t force it or rush it. Once she does that trust is unshakeable but you won’t live to screw her over more than once. 

U: Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)  

Skeleton. Pirate. 

V: Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

At least half a year, potentially more. Patience is key with Buckle. But once she is you’ll see how soft she truly is. Far more gentle than she lets on, she is shy and almost nervous. She is more likely to share her thoughts however painful they are and allow you to protect her in the same ways she’ll protect you. 

W: Wild Card (Random domestic headcanon)

Are you ready for breakfast in bed? Because that’s what you’ll get everyday with this skeleton. She is a caregiver at heart and seeing you wake up sleepy and hungry is adorable. She likes watching you eat and enjoying her food as it's a secret hobby of hers. 

X: X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Hulk smash. Kidding but also not. While Cutlass is usually the one known for her temper if anyone (especially an s/o) Buckle cares about is injured its best to clear the area and not try to stop her as she is prone to lashing out at whoever is trying as well. 

Y: Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Hiding things from her. Lying. And “joking” physical violence. She isn’t the kind to wrestle with her s/o and she doesn’t take kindly to “friendly” hitting, etc. 

Z: Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Rather than passionate Buckle is like kindling and before you know if you’ve got a steady hearth. She’ll take passion in return but come on too strong and she’s likely to rebuff you.

[caspianhayes]

                            CASPIAN ALEXANDER LEVI HAYES.

FULL NAME:  Caspian Alexander Levi Hayes. NICKNAMES(S):  Cas. AGE:  28. DATE OF BIRTH:  November 20th, 1991. PLACE OF BIRTH:  Chicago, Illinois. CURRENT LOCATION:  Red Ridge, Nevada. ETHNICITY:  White. GENDER:  Cis male. PRONOUNS:  He/him/his. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Pansexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  Panromantic. RELIGION:  Atheist, raised half Jewish, half nondenominational Christian. OCCUPATION:  Bartender at Violet. EDUCATION LEVEL:  Bachelor’s Degree in business from the University of California, Los Angeles. EXTRACURRICULAR:  Swimming, baseball. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:  Has a studio apartment near the north side of Red Ridge, lots of windows, usually relatively messy. SPEAKING VOICE AND ACCENT:  Speaks smoothly & calmly, a very standard midwestern accent that’s barely noticeable. It’s very easy to listen to him speak.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

FACECLAIM:  David Corenswet. HAIR COLOR AND STYLE:  Brown, curly, very well taken care of. It looks just as silky as it feels. Typically kept short, has grown out once in his life, and didn’t like the way it looked then. COMPLEXION:  Pale, warmer undertones. EYE COLOR:  Blue. EYESIGHT:  15/20 vision - what the average person sees from 15 feet away, Caspian can see from 20. He won’t be needing glasses anytime soon. HEIGHT:  6’3” WEIGHT:  174 lbs. BODY AND BUILD:  Muscular, but not as muscular as he used to be. He retains his biceps and pecs, but has given up on ab workouts, aside from the occasional one once in a blue moon. TATTOOS:   None, with no plans on getting any. PIERCINGS:  None, no plans on getting any. CLOTHING STYLE:  Cas’ wardrobe leans casual. Dark jeans and t-shirts are his everyday apparel. He only dresses more formal for work because he has to. When it’s cooler outside, he’ll go for a sweater before a sweatshirt. He still wears white Converse, has a beat up old leather jacket that he got in high school, and doesn’t like jewelry on his wrists or fingers.   DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS:  Almost unnaturally blue eyes, his dark curls, and a smile that lights up a room. A sniffle that’s almost always there. SIGNATURE SCENT:  Whiskey, leather, vanilla, and cashmere.

HEALTH.

MENTAL DISORDER(S):  Anxiety. Fear of abandonment and failure. ADHD. PHYSICAL DISORDER(S):  None. ALLERGIES:  None. SLEEPING HABITS:  Caspian has nightmares most nights. He doesn’t go to sleep until the sun starts to rise most mornings, thanks to the fact that Violet doesn’t close until well into the night and he has to stay after closing to help clean up before he goes home. It takes him a while to fall asleep,  but, once he does, he usually isn’t asleep very long. His nightmares startle him awake. It’s rare that he gets a total of six hours combined any given night. EATING HABITS:  He tries to take care of himself where he can in regards to his food. His breakfast most morning is a smoothie and some eggs, he’ll spend the extra money for organic fruits and vegetables. While he does take care of himself most of the time, there are those times where he sits down with a whole pizza and a pint of ice cream and finishes it all, though. When he’s high, he rarely eats, which is why breakfast is so important to him. SOCIABILITY:  He is an extrovert through and through. That’s part of the reason he thoroughly enjoys his time at the bar - socialization. He’s a very smooth talker and a very good listener, which is likely why people typically find it easy to trust him. The cocaine makes him even more sociable. BODY TEMPERATURE:  Naturally warmer, he gets cold very easily. That’s part of the reason he likes the desert so much. ADDICTIONS:  Cocaine. DRUG USE:  Frequently. At least once a day. ALCOHOL USE:  Semi-frequently. Likely drinks one glass of whiskey whenever he’s on shift, but otherwise rarely touches alcohol. Outside of work, when he does drink, it’s likely watching a football or baseball game.

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS:  Loyal, hardworking, charming, resourceful, charismatic. NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Anxious, sly, liar, secretive, stubborn. LIKES:  Cocaine. The Chicago Cubs, dogs, cashmere sweaters, traveling, warm weather, swimming pools. DISLIKES:  The cold, rough textured clothing, grating voices, loneliness, the sound of someone chewing with their mouth open. FEARS: Abandonment, loneliness, never being good enough. Failure. Death. HABITS:  Cocaine, cutting his nails frequently, smoothies with breakfast, fiddling with a necklace or other small things. ASTROLOGY:  Scorpio sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising. PERSONALITY TYPE:  ESFP. MORAL ALIGNMENT:  Chaotic neutral. HOGWARTS HOUSE:  Slytherin. ELEMENT:  Water. PRIMARY VICE:  Lust. PRIMARY VIRTUE:  Diligence. WEATHER: Sunny day, no clouds in the sky. Somehow, still a chance of rain. COLOR:  White and red // light blue. MUSIC:  Doesn’t listen to much music. MOVIE:  Inglourious Basterds (2009, dir. Quentin Tarantino). SPORT:  Baseball. BEVERAGE:  Kale and banana smoothie / Arnold Palmer. FOOD:  Scrambled eggs with cheese, broccoli, cupcakes, raspberries, peaches. ANIMAL:  Dogs of all varieties. SEASON:  Late spring, early summer.

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.

MOTHER:  Amy Hayes. FATHER:  Stephen Hayes. SIGNIFICANT OTHER:  None. SIBLING(S):  One older sibling, 33+. CHILDREN:  None. PET(S):  None.

PROMPT.

Routine.

Who would’ve thought that Cas would end up here, of all places? Certainly not his family, certainly not anyone from his past. He doubted that anyone actually needed a business degree to bartend at the Violet, or to bartend anywhere, really. He doubted that anyone would think to find him there, which was part of the reason he enjoyed being there in the first place. That was the point of running away from the past, no? To escape it? Nights at the Violet were indulgent, and that was Caspian’s favorite part of it all.

Indulgence. Sweet indulgence. To start his shift after a hit of the best coke he could get his hands on was a feeling of near-euphoria after a morning of restlessness and anxiety. He could feel that paranoia and constant worry wash away as he walked the length of the bar, ears tuned in to everything happening around him. That was the thing about Violet; people talked. And when people talked, Caspian heard. They may have thought that he wasn’t listening, that he was just there to do his job and go home. But that wasn’t the truth. He knew about the man at the third stool and how he’d been cheating on his wife for the past three months. He knew about the woman at the seventh who owed Valencia more money than she had in her bank account, and, despite that, continued to turn to Violet every night for the comfort of a glass of gin. He knew the high-rollers with their hands dirty, knew the secrets of the civilians who simply wanted to live life without Valencia’s influence, knew those who feared Rorschach and what his arrival may mean. And it was almost as euphoric to him as the coke was. Almost.

HEADCANONS.

He grew up in the shadow of his older sibling. He always hated it - always hated never feeling good enough for his parents. No matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. Not when he made the varsity swim team and baseball team as a freshman in high school, not when he was given a swim scholarship to UCLA for college, not when he worked his ass off to get good grades despite his involvement in two sports.

The Hayes family is big in the financial planning world. If you don’t know a thing about that, you probably won’t know who they are, but his mother has been on covers of industry magazines and interviewed for finance TV shows before. She and his father co-own their own company.

He started partying in high school to try to let off some steam after games and dances. He only increased his partying in college. This was when he first tried cocaine. The partying got heavier and heavier, and, eventually, he lost his scholarship. That’s when he started bartending - he didn’t want his parents to know that he lost the scholarship, so he had to pay his own way through the rest of school. This was also when he cut contact with his family.

He likes it when people talk to him as if he was a brick wall, not absorbing any of their information. But he keeps that dirt in his brain - after all, who knows when he’s going to need it?

He was a good cook, once upon a time. Now, he doesn’t really have the incentive to be one, especially since he works through what most people would consider “dinner time”.

He’s pretty good at poker, but he’d never go into the casino to play. That’s too formal for him.

He wouldn’t refer to himself as a cocaine addict - just a man who likes cocaine. He figures he could stop at any time he wants to.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

SUPPLIER: he's got a drug addiction; he needs drugs. this is probably someone within valencia who provides him with his fix - someone he pays either with information or money.

MUTUAL DISLIKE: this person doesn't like him for whatever reason. maybe he owes them money. maybe he's made a promise he didn't keep. whatever the reason is, cas doesn't like them, either. they're greeted with distaste.

FRIENDS: obviously everyone needs friends. these people may or may not know about cas' addiction problems, and, if they do know, he still won't admit to having an addiction problem.

PAST HOOKUP: any gender ! he does have a tendency to sleep around solely for praise and validation that he feels like he's been missing in his life thus far. don't be mad if he doesn't call you back.

BOSS: this is someone in Valencia, as Violet is owned by them. Cas probably doesn't know too much about them/their involvement in the organization, they probably aren't too close because he's wary of them more than anything.

WARY: this person knows that something's going on with Cas. May or may not suspect the cocaine addiction, probably someone on the side of the law, recognizing that Caspian isn't getting by on his own.

OWED DEBT: Cas owes this person something, whether it be because they provided him with coke or because his car broke down and he needed help fixing it - whatever the reason, he's in debt, and he can't repay it yet. Valencia or not !

OLDER SIBLING: this is the big one ; see the main.

[roseamongroses]

W.A.L: “Fly Me to the Moon” Part One (22)

s u m m a r y:

Eden was the lowest of the low, a monster, hardly human, and was set to be executed. Roman was on trial, perpetually stuck in time until it was time to atone for his families sins.

Neither cared much for staying trapped.

So when a Stranger offered freedom, offered peace, offered power, it was hard to say no.

Even if it put them on the wrong side of history.

v i b e s :

time is irrelevent, homophobia who?, magic and beasts, demigods

w a r n i n g s

Imprisonment, Mentions of execution, Blood/ injuries,  Mentions of past Death, minor character death/suicide,  repression, cursing,

c h a r a c t e r s

Deceit(Eden) Sanders, Remy Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders, Roman Sanders, Emile Picani

Ship: Roceit

1) (2)   (3)  (4) (5)

(6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)

(12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17)

---

“Are the rest of the brats getting ready?” Roman asked, picking up a comb and a jar of moisturizer.

“Uh-- I think so?” Lauren winced sitting back, “I wouldn’t know, Kai’s being… weird,” Roman ran their hand experimentally through the now kinkier coils in her hair, the light tugging of her scalp painfully nostalgic.

She’d always prefered her hair straight, but she never went so long without taking a break. It was mainly luck that she hadn’t had any major heat damage, but even that fear didn’t make the idea any more appealing.

You could say she was avoiding it in a way.

Her mom had always insisted on braiding Lauren’s hair herself, so the act was tangled with her in every way. Doing it by herself now only made her mom’s absence louder, but having Roman here made it better.

“Weird how?” Roman asked, detangling her hair, “Is he getting pissy about getting his ass kicked?”

“No…” She said, bracing herself, “That’s why it's weird. He’s not complaining, he’s avoiding me,” She sighed, feeling strangely annoyed. It wasn’t like she liked the constant arguing, but this was just odd…. Did she do something wrong?

Why does she even care?

Roman’s hands stopped mid braid, “Oh,” he hummed before resuming, “Maybe he’s just in a mood,” he said, a laugh peeking through his tone.

“What?” Lauren demanded.

“Nothing, nothing,” Roman snickered, “I’m just thinking about how pretty you’re going to be in that dress,” he cooed, pinching her cheek and effectively smearing whatever moisturizer he was using all over her cheek.

“Gross,” Lauren scowled to keep the smile from her face, “Anyway you’re too calm about this,” she said, her worry bubbling at the thought of just… walking into Council territory, “Do you really believe Drak’on’s going to play fair?”

It could go a lot of ways.

Logan was fair to a fault, so she wasn’t worried about dirty tricks from him. But he was predictable in a dangerous way. He had a never ending consistency that tended to wear people down. Roman wasn’t as unpredictable as Remus, but he had a similar quality. He couldn’t afford to trust that his body and magic would perform the same way every time, so he had to be creative, and more than often had to run himself ragged.

“Are you worried?” Roman asked, but it was more like an observation.

“You should be,” Lauren grumbled.

“I’m not,” Roman said.

She was oddly comforted by the finality of the promise.

---

Upon opening the letter, they were taken in a flash of light.

They first saw a glittering series of arcs that were almost translucent. It was as if the towering structure was merely ideas carved into the stars, but it solid beneath their feet. Deceit wasn’t sure how he was breathing with the world so far beneath him, with the stars so close.

The Offerings were a series of events, of elaborate ceremonies, of balls. A celebration at it's finest, but preformative grief at its core. Councilmen decked out in elaborate gowns and ancient suits milled inside the glittering gates, magic flowing from people’s tongues as easy as they laughed.

The brats were pretty much gawking, but thankfully they didn’t wander off.

Roman’s face betrayed nothing but unapologetic decadence. Their hair braided high before exploding into a fire of curls and flowers. All signs of exhaustion were wiped clean behind rosy lips and impossibly dark lashes that were stark against his eyes. Roman was in his element to anyone with eyes, but his death grip on Deceit’s arm told another story.

Which to be fair, was expected. They were deep in Councilmen territory, with their invitation only being allowed due to the technicalities of their situation--i.e all the alleged crimes not being directly linked to anyone, but The Stranger-- and Drak’on’s disturbing amount of influence.

Still Deceit knew that wasn’t it, “Roman?” He said, the question hanging in the air between them as they handed off their bags.

“The curse,” Roman sighed, “Even if I have temporary immunity, I keep expecting to...It’s more mental than anything,” he explained, low, “It shouldn’t be a problem, but...forgive me if I’m a bit more clingy,”

“That’s it?” He said scrutinizing them. They'd gotten better at actually vocalizing their limits lately, but Deceit knew he’d be more willing to cover it up in order to not cause a scene.

“E… Darling... tonight will be fine,” Roman promised. He tilted his head, horns catching the light and his eyes having a hungry glint, “You trust me?”

Deceit was breathless, “Something like that.”

---

Virgil stirred the brothy, something, in front of him, mildly impressed by how shiny the utensils were, but mostly getting sick by how rich everything tasted. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to eating “good” food, in fact from what he could remember he was most likely used to it, but there was a different level of luxury here. It was almost irritating.

Actually a lot of things were irritating, the key one being that his supposed date fucked off to schmooze with rich bastards, but the most alarming part of that was that Virgil wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Logan at all right now.

It was all duel this and duel that lately. About how this is what he always deserved, how he’ll somehow become better--how everything will become better once he finally puts this to rest and claim his rightful place. Virgil’s beginning to suspect that Logan didn’t even realize how obsessed he was getting with it.

In fact, Virgil suspected that Logan’s always been obsessed with this, but Dr. Picani never let him fixate on that need entirely. Even if Dr. Picani was low-key just as dysfunctional as his Apprentices, the man was disgustingly determined to create a somewhat functional life for them.

But Dr. Picani was gone, even if they found him-- his consciousness had yet to return. All they had now was Ms. Annalise Drak’on, someone who apparently had no issue with feeding Logan’s obsession.

Virgil felt sick.

He stood, not caring about how loudly he dropped the utensils or about the dirty looks sent his way as he pushed his way through the crowd. The band was some pseudo-jazz, a thundering accompaniment to his rising anxiety and the dazzling lights were getting too much and--

His spiraling halted upon catching the faintest blue flash in the corner of his eye. Turning around he met Patton’s eyes. Virgil flinched and for the briefest moment Patton’s brow furrowed, before smoothing into his normal dazed expression, “You’re alone?”

Virgil wanted to scowl, but he couldn’t. He was alone and he wasn't sure how long its been draining away at him.

Patton nodded at his non-response, “You need air,” he said, before turning on his heel and disappearing into the crowd. It took a few seconds before Virgil realized he was meant to follow.

Virgil somehow found himself out of the crowd, feeling the cool air first, and the relief of being away from all of those people all at once. Patton was already there leaning against the balcony, the translucent beads of their gown soft against the blue of the distant earth.

Patton turned his head to acknowledge him, “Is this better?”

“I think so,” Virgil sighed, slumping against the balcony, “Uh… thanks, I guess,” Patton laughed, an off colored chirp that normally unnerved Virgil, but now only made him blush, “What?”

“I don’t scare you anymore, do I?” Patton said, covering his mouth.

“I was never--” Virgil winced at the lie, “Was I that obvious?”

“Yes, but…” Patton started, trailing off, “I didn’t mind completely,”

Virgil frowned, “You didn’t mind me being an asshole?”

“I minded,” Patton said, “But at least you didn’t hide it,” he shrugged as if that explained it all, “I knew Logan and Emile cared about me, but… it was like they were afraid to admit that they didn’t always feel safe,”

“...Should we feel safe?’ Virgil said, twisting and untwisting the loose hair.

Patton didn’t respond immediately, tracing the rail, “I wish you could, but I…” he sighed, “Watchdogs aren’t meant to be outside the colonies for long without a bond...we aren’t built for that. When I’m home I can feel-- I’m in control,” he said, “But here, it feels like all I can do is take orders and hope, there’s nothing else there,” His face twisted unnaturally, but his eyes remained blank.

“Why…” Virgil tore his gaze away, “After Remus….Why didn’t you go to Roman?” he asked. It seemed simple, just go to another Sanders, a legal, full magic Sanders--

“I wasn’t in love with Roman,” Patton said, with no theatrics, but the simplicity throbbed with something intense, “Why didn’t you die in the river?”

“I-” Rushing water, blood everywhere,it was only supposed to be a game, it was a game it was a game, it was a game, “I didn’t want to die.”

“You’re lying,” Patton said, matter of fact.

Virgil blew out his cheeks, “I got lucky,” he admitted. Lucky that he wasn’t deemed enough of a threat by the other two. Lucky that the vial seared in his hand instead of in his eyes or down his throat. Lucky that at the end of the day, he thought it was a just game. Something stupid to do before church.

If only he knew that it was The Stranger’s Game he was playing.

“Well...I’m glad you were lucky,” Patton said quietly, “I wouldn’t have met you and I certainly wouldn’t have stayed for as long as I did without you two…”

Virgil’s throat tightened, “I…” he wiped his eyes, “Why do I feel like that’s a goodbye?” he choked out a bitter laugh.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Patton smiled, “You could always visit the colonies,” he said wistfully, and Virgil swore he glowed a little bit brighter, “I might be a bit...different there, but it's a good different,”

“...Can you tell me more about it?” Virgil asked.

Patton did.

He told Virgil about the fountains-- how water dripped like fire, but was icy to the touch. He talked about how young watchdogs burned holes in their cribs and terrorized their families. About the family dinners, with plates overflowing with food--how each story and laugh was never the same.

He told Virgil about how the community grew closer and took care of each other in spite of the stricter regulations. About how they’re even planning to build their own schools instead of relying on council tutors. He told Virgil about his mom and dad, about how they missed him, but understood he wanted to see his friends. He told Virgil about everything he missed and hated and seemed to glow a little bit brighter with each second.

Virgil doesn’t know why, but it felt nice. It sounded nice--talking to Patton was nice in a way that Virgil didn’t even know he missed. It's been awhile since he just...had fun.

The music changed, to something delicate--a soft piano, followed by a low, breathy voice. Patton’s voice trailed off and he closed his eyes swaying to the lullaby.

Virgil asked him for a dance.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Oc Questions

So my friend @bio-hazard0us and I have been working on a lot of My Hero Academia original characters and I was hit with the sudden idea to make my first villain one. I thought that I would share my process so that they could see it and everyone can know how I flesh out a character. In this case I have paired my original character up with Jin Bubaigawara aka the villain Twice in My Hero Academia. 

A: What are/were this character’s best subjects in school? Violet was good at just about every subject in school but her favorites were history, ballet, English and of course botany

B: Do they have any allergies? She is funnily enough allergic to bees even though they are essential to her quirk. They pollinate her flowers but just the sight of them has her feeling ill.

C: Can they swim well? She taught herself how to swim rather well and it’s one of her favorite hobbies that she does on her days off. 

D: How do they react to being flirted with? A flustered awkward disaster mess that’s how she would react to being flirted with (Especially if it was with Twice. He does it to mess with her in and out of costume and always teases her when she gets a bright pink face. 

E: How are they with children? Violet comes from a really big family and loves her siblings but one of Jin’s biggest fears is that his mental instability will be passed down to his children. 

F: What’s one thing they’re really bad at? She is awful at being a villain, let’s just be honest here. She is mostly doing this because Jin is doing it and she wanted to stick by his side. She is always known for being the most genuine member out of the League and even helped Bakugou escape.  She is also very bad with directions so she usually has to be sent out with Dabi or Toga as well as Twice because they both are extremely scatterbrain and tend to get way off track.

G: How do they flirt? Violet is basically the worst type of flirt, the type that doesn’t even know when they are flirting. She just is genuine with her compliments and is always open about how she feels. She loves to compliment Jin and it is usually her way of getting revenge when he flirts with her “That was so good hun!!” She’s basically his little cheerleader always encouraging him to do his best at everything that he does and he loves that about her. 

H: What is their deadly sin? Her deadly sin would most likely be Gluttoney because she has a problem with sweets and knowing exactly when to eat them. (Twice jokes that it’s lust which usually results in him getting smacked upside the head.) 

I: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do they love themselves? On a scale of one to ten she loves herself at a very low 4. She loves Jin more than anything in the entire world but she hates having to be a part of the League of Villains. She would much rather be a small flower shop owner even with her quirk that is meant to do things for evil. She has a lot of crippling self doubt and doesn’t know how to deal with the awful things that she has to do. The only reason that her number isn’t any lower is because of Twice. 

J: What’s their sense of humour like? Her sense of humor is very bubbly and peppy, it’s a lot of plant puns and really bad jokes that Jin told her to get her to laugh at him when she was younger. If she’s tired it’s a lot more sarcastic and full of attitude but usually that only happens when Shigaraki asks her to do villain stuff when she has already had a long enough day as it was. Twice loves her either way you look at it with her sense of humor. He just loves her more than anything when you really think about it he considers her the best possible thing that he could ever ask for.  

K: How do you know when you’ve upset them? You will know when you’ve upset her when she sends her “Audrey II” after you. That is her man eating venus flytrap that she named after the flytrap in Little Shop of Horrors.  

L: What is their favourite board game? Any board game that makes her laugh. She loves to play Apples to Apples with Twice and the rest of the League of villains it’s the one time when she truly thinks that they are actually a family and she really feels like she fits in.

M: What is their favourite dessert? She loves ice cream, absolutely loves ice cream. When she has a bad day stress or anxiety wise Jin brings her strawberry cheesecake Ben & Jerries ice cream and Phish Food for him and they both openly talk about what they are struggling with (Mental health for the win!!!) 

N: What do they usually eat for breakfast? Her go to breakfast usually has some fruit in it. That's really the only thing since she isn’t always hungry in the mornings. 

O: What would it take to break them, inside and out? For Jin to break up with her. That’s what would break her inside and out she would not be able to live without him making her laugh. If he were to break up with her and not even want to be friends that would cause her to have a full on mental breakdown. 

P: How do they handle money? She is nearly a professional at handling money. She doesn’t have a whole lot of it because she works part time at a flower infused coffee and pastry shop.

Q: Are they patient? She is one of the most patient people that you will ever meet in your entire life. It is one of her best qualities that she prides herself on. You sort of have to be patient when your long term love of your life is Jin Bubaigawara (Twice). She always rubs his back when he cries into her shoulder apologizing for saying anything wrong in his other personality. It breaks her heart to see him like that. She would much rather see the joking having a fun time side of his personality but she has loved him for as long as she can remember and she’s going to be damned if a little mental illness roadblock is going to get in her way. 

R: What are their hands like? Her hands have little calluses on them that Jin loves playing with as a fidget technique because having her presence around makes the voices in his head for once shut fully off. He can be comfortable around her just holding her hand and telling stories in his different personalities to make her laugh. 

S: How stealthy are they? She is actually very stealthy and extremely quiet person (when Twice isn’t around to make her laugh)

T: Where are they ticklish? Violet is ticklish almost literally everywhere on her entire body something that kid Jin loved because it caused her to snort when she laughed if he did it too much. 

U: What’s their voice like? She’s naturally soft spoken unless she’s really excited about something than she has the tendency to rise in volume. 

V: What’s the easiest way to annoy them? The easiest way to annoy her is to send her off on a solo mission with Shigaraki. It takes everything in her not to just blow up at him and tell him that she’s done being his minion. Then she thinks of Twice and just takes some deep breaths to calm herself down and remembers why she’s doing this. So that the love of her life can fit in somewhere and finally be truly happy with his life. 

W: Can they dance? Dancing is one of the things that she is the best at pretty much all styles of dance. 

X: What’s their most petty little secret? Her pesky little secret is that she made a stuffed smaller version of Jin as Twice for the nights when they aren’t together and she can’t sleep. It helps her sleep at night knowing that she has something to remind her of her boyfriend. 

Y: What is one question they’ve always wanted an answer to? Why did her dad have to die? Her older brother who was a police officer was caught in the crossfire and killed by a hero in an accident.

Z: How do they sleep? She doesn’t sleep that well at all if she doesn’t have either her stuffed version of Twice or the real deal around her. She suffers from frequent nightmares of the awful things that she was forced to do as a member of the League and the momentous amounts of bullying that she was given as a child.

1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? She does actually sleep with stuffed animals. Jin won her a massive stuffed sea otter at a shooting darts game when they were back in high school at their cultural festival and she loves it so much. She also has the afformented stuffed version of Twice.

2. Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child? Her quirk is quite literally taking care of the plants that she houses as tattoos on her arms and that she keeps in her garden at work. She has a pet cat that is probably the most tsundere cat to ever exist but it loves it’s human so much. Violet adopts young Toga as her own showing her what actual love and affection really should look like instead of the pain that she has suffered through.

3. Ask them to describe their love interest. Violet would describe Jin as the sweetest man that she has ever met. Forget about the mental illness, that doesn’t bother her in fact it only makes her want to take care of him on his really bad days. She truly loves her boyfriend more than anything in the world. He is the reason why she gets up everyday to make him laugh with her little screw ups at being a villain. To her, you can’t find a more perfect man than Jin Bubaigawara. She loves his sense of humor, the way that he looks at the world and the man behind the mania more than anything. She’ll jokingly call him her Deadpool and he loves it so much since that was one of his favorite heroes in high school. 

4. Do they look good in red? In her opinion since part of her villain costume (her hoodie) is red she would say yes. Twice jokes that she would look good in a paper bag. 

5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! It would definitely be a late night speech to the love of her life Jin after a night that he’s been struggling with his split personality disorder. He’ll tell her that he doesn’t deserve her and her pureness and that she should run while she still can. She would tell him that would never, ever happen. That she loves him despite her mental illness. That she loves the man that has always been there for her and is the other half of her soul. That he isn’t defined by his mental illness but by the person that lies beneath all of that. He would just melt into her side and she would quietly run her fingers through his hair turning him into putty in her arms.

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is? She will always take advice from her father who has known what is best for her throughout her entire life and is immensely supportive of her relationship with Twice. He loves Jin and worries about him instead of being against their relationship he gives Violet advice for how to deal with him and his outbursts that he sometimes has. She would absolutely never listen to Shigaraki no matter what. He tells her that her “emotions” for Twice will be her downfall and that she shouldn’t be as kind as she is if she wants to be a villain. 

7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themselves in three words. I would describe Violet as endlessly patient, kind and forgiving of all of Jin’s downfalls. Usually when he forgets an anniversary (he never forgets her birthday though). She would describe herself as a wet blanket, a burden on Jin and a naturally spineless person. 

8. Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them? Puzzles have always intrigued her 

9. Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)? She has an attachment to her favorite book since childhood that her dad would always read to her. It’s called The Little Prince and it’s been her favorite book since she was five years old. She feels an empathization with her plants that she needs to use for her quirk and always apologizes before she has to use them. 

10. What age do they most want to be right now? She wants to be at the age that she is right now. She lives on her own even though she wishes that she could stay live with Jin full time. 

11. They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save? Save the money for the future and get a big house for her, Jin and Himiko to live in. She loves her family more than anything and just wants for them to be happy together. 

12. Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)? She has a soft spot for romance in films. She openly cries every time that she watches the first ten minutes in Up or the ending of The Painted Veil. She is a naturally overly emotional person so whenever she watches one of these films Jin has a box of tissues at the ready to dry her eyes with.  

13. Name one thing their parents taught them. Her parents taught hre to be kind and patient with most everyone she meets which is one of the biggest reasons as to why she is so good with Jin and his mental instability. 

14. Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any? She has a guilty pleasure for the film version of Little Shop Of Horrors and is often seen humming Mean Green Mother From Outer Space while she waters Audrey II

15. What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work? Violet considers lazing around a waste of her time. Why be lazy when she could be watering her plants or helping Himiko with her homework? Jin definitely has to draw the line at some point and give her a backwards hug telling her that she needs to take a break. 

16. If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear? She would wear designer clothes that she always sees in the shop windows. There is this really adorable dress that has plants all over it that she loves to look at on the street and in the shop window (Jin buys it for her for Christmas once he gets a steady following with his artwork.) 

17. Do they like children? Violet has always loved children and willingly will look after her siblings if she doesn’t need to be doing villainous work with Twice and Himiko for the night. She was raised to love children and her and Jin have talked about adopting others when Himiko goes off to college. He’s legitimately afraid of being a good father but she is always there to encourage him and tell him how good he is with their adopted daughter. He teased her that they already were basically siblings so it didn’t really matter but he always loves her encouragement. 

18. Kissing: tongue or no tongue? It depends on where they are. She loves to press little kisses to his mask when he’s wearing it but when the mask is off they do have the tendency to kiss. She’s actually asexual so as long as it doesn’t go to sexual intercourse she’s okay with all the types of intimacy that kissing can bring. 

19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews? She always has this need to study for tests even though everyone around her encourages that she’ll ace it with flying colors because she is just naturally intelligent. She actually helped Jin get his GED in high school so that he could pass and got him through the grades with the help of a lot of patience and snacks to go around. 

20. What do they like that nobody else does? Most of the stuff that she likes that nobody else tends to like is the manga that she reads in her free time. This gets a lot of jokes poked at her by Jin and Himiko but they love it about her that she is a massive Otaku.

21. What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw? There would be no real “last straw” with her and Jin. Unless he cheats on her which he would never do because he loves her way too much to do that to her. 

22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to? Oh the sappy nicknames between these two strap yourselves in folks especially for Jin\Twice because his are numerous. His favorites are dolls and baby that he uses outside of the mask and they never fail to make her soft like butter. With the mask on it’s cupcake and milady “Hey cupcake need a little help over here!!” 

23. Stability or novelty? Stability all the way. She needs to keep to her schedule and her downtime needs to be there otherwise she will fall off the rails and it’s not a pretty picture. Jin is there to make sure that even her stability is still the life of the party. 

24. Honesty or charity? Honesty is always the best policy.

25. Safety or possibility? Possibility she is always open to new ones that could change her life and it’s one of the reasons why she started dating Jin she saw all the possibilities that their relationship could have. 

26. Talent or effort? Effort all the way. She will always put forth the effort into everything that she does. She has this belief and it’s the same way with her father that there is no talent without a little bit of effort thrown into everything.

27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)? Forgiveness. She will always forgive Jin no matter what his mental illness does to put a damper on their relationship she will always take him back with open arms. 

28. Would they date a fixer-upper? She would because she believes that there is really no such thing as a fixer-upper. I mean growing up her favorite movie was Beauty and the Beast so she has always believed that the true beauty of somebody isn’t on the outside but on the inside their personality. Jin is basically one giant fixer upper that most people would run for the hills from but not Violet. Most of her siblings scratch their heads when they seen the two of them together but they know that their sister is the happiest that they have ever seen her when she’s around him. 

[brylcighs]

✧·ﾟ(   demeter + maia mitchell + cis female   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   bryleigh fox   ) around ? (   she   ) has been in kaos for (   two months   ). the (   twenty-four year old   ) is a (   baker   ) from (   boulder, colorado   ). people say they can be (   stoic   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   ebullient   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   warm blueberry muffins, black and white movies, and sunny, cloud-free mornings   ).  ·ﾟ✧  (  penned by shiloh, 21+, est, she/her   ).

trigger warnings: mental illness, ptsd, anxiety, depression, a car accident, health problems related to fertility, scars/burns, low self-esteem, drinking. ( i think that’s it, but if you run across something else triggering, pls let me know and i’ll add it to the list. )

THE MUN.

‘lo ! i’m shiloh, but you can call me shy. i’m 28, i live in the est and my preferred pronouns are she/her. 

i’m a school-based therapist and work in an elementary school. with it being summer, i don’t really have a lot going on ! so you’ll see me around quite a bit. 

i have two small puppos, minerva and newt, who are my pride and joy. p.s.: if you couldn’t tell from their names, i’m a huge harry potter fan. i also love young adult literature, i’m a true crime buff and could eat pepperoni hot pockets every day for the rest of my life. 

if you’d like to talk, you can im me on this account, on my rph @shilohrph or ask me for my discord and we can chat there !

and without further ado, allow me to introduce lil miss bryleigh. 

BASIC INFORMATION.

name: bryleigh olivia fox.

age: twenty-four.

gender/pronouns: cis femae & she/her.

orientation: panromantic pansexual. 

olympian: demeter.

occupation: head baker at physis taverna.

faceclaim: maia mitchell.

BACKGROUND.

bryleigh olivia fox was born may 8th, 1995 at 10:12am in kaos, greece to colonel william matthew fox and emma alison stewart-fox.

she has one older brother, lucas daniel fox, who is 28 and an architectural engineer. he’s married to sofia maite valdez-fox, twenty-four. they have a one-year-old daughter,  luciana irene fox. 

bryleigh also has one younger sister, peyton emelia fox, who is 20 and a college student studying communications. she’s engaged to  micah cole butler, twenty-two. they two-year-old twins addison hayley butler and aiden bryant butter. peyton is also currently 10 weeks pregnant.

because of her father’s occupation, the family has lived in different cities all over the world. besides kaos, the fox’s lived in bangkok, thailand, comayagua, honduras, misawa, japan, burkina faso, west africa,  vicenza, italy and pampanga, philippines. i made a handy dandy timeline which you can view here to better break it down.

bryleigh attended and graduated from the auguste escoffier school of culinary arts in boulder, colorado and lived there for about four years.

while living in boulder, her roommate and best friend, sofia, started dating and subsequently married her brother, lucas.

because her aesthetic is running when things get tough/complicated, bryleigh left boulder a few months after ber brother and best friend were married and moved back to kaos, greece. 

she lived in kaos for a year, living above the tavarna where she was head baker. she loved it and kinda looks back on it as the best time of her life. but a rough patch in a relationship caused her to - again - flee, returning to boulder. 

about a month after moving back to boulder, she was in a serious car accident. her vehicle slid on black ice and flipped. she almost died, but managed to pull through.

on top a concussion, many broken bones, several severe burns, some internal bleeding and innumerable cuts, scrapes, and bruises, bryleigh’s pelvis was fractured and her fallopian tubes were crushed. she also later developed  asherman’s syndrome from the surgeries/scar tissue forming. this has basically rendered her infertile. 

after the accident, bryleigh had to move in with her brother and sister-in-law/former best friend. not only did they smother bry trying to take care of her, but sofia was pregnant at the time. this served as a constant reminder of all she’d lost. 

so, as soon as she was cleared to be on her own, she told lucas and sofia that she was going to visit kaos for her birthday.

except that she was actually moving back there and didn’t want to have to deal with their worry and concern and attempts to talk her out of it. queen of running from her problems.

bryleigh has been back in kaos for about two months, and it’s not the carefree, serene place she remembered.

actually, that’s not true. it’s still the place she remembered. she’s just not the same person she once was. no matter how much she tries to pretend she is.

you can read more about her here if you feel so inclined. 

PERSONALITY. 

bryleigh is a bit of a complicated lil nugget. she’s like an onion, ya know ? she has layers. one one hand, she’s this bubbly, happy-go-lucky, upbeat ball of sunshine. but on the other hand, she’s really struggling with ptsd from the crash, as well as a good heaping of anxiety and depression. so she has times where she’s really distant and reticent.

as the ‘mom friend’, she’s always been the person that people turn to. she’s the shoulder to lean on. she’s the one who gives amazing advice. she’s the one who seems wise beyond her years. she’s the one who tells you to stop leaning back in your chair because you’re going to fall over or sets water and tylenol beside your bed after a night of partying. she cares a whole lot. like, an insane about. which is a blessing and a curse. 

what she’s struggling with post-accident is opening up about how she’s doing and how she’s really feeling, beyond the facade that she puts on for everyone. it’s like she’s physically incapable of letting people see that she’s struggling. bry doesn’t want to put that burden on anyone, ya know ? so, she’s kind of suffering in silence and bottling everything up. which is super healthy, i know. 

sarcasm and dry humor are two of her favorite coping skills. she’s also really great at self-deprecating humor !

the accident left her with quite a lot of scars and several skin grafts from having third-degree burns treated, and she’s incredibly self-conscious about them. she covers her low self-esteem up with jokes and humor, but she really is quite sensitive about her appearance. 

as i mentioned, she tends to run from her problems rather than addressing them. and if she can’t run, she makes a joke out of them and doesn’t take them seriously. or she bottles up all the emotions from the problem and pretends it’s not a big deal. i know. her coping skills are so healthy.

the only thing that bryleigh has ever wanted is to be a mom. she’s basically had baby fever since she was old enough to understand the birds and the bees. she always imagined being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of a shew of children and her husband/wife. but since the accident, she’s not sure if that’s what she still wants of her life. she no longer has no direction, and really feels like she’s floundering.

part of her is worried about having kids ( through adoption or surrogacy or on the off-chance that she can naturally conceive ) because the hate in her heart after the accident is so dark and consuming and terrifying. she feels like maybe the car accident did more than break her bones. maybe it broke her as a person. and maybe she’s not capable of loving someone now. or if she is, she’s worried that what she loves will get taken from her. and she doesn’t know if she can stand to lose anything else. 

EXTRA.

she starts every morning with a cup of black coffee and a banana nut muffin and ends every evening with a cup of peppermint tea and two homemade jaffa cakes.

bryleigh has a chocolate labrador retriever named yolo. he’s ancient. she’s not really sure how old he is, but the shelter she adopted him from said that he’d been there for several years. so, she absolutely had to take him home with her. yolo’s very loving and sweet and a lil lazy and he loves pitless olives. she has huge birthday parties for him on his gotcha day, august 12th. 

her walls are covered with abstract art from a bunch of different countries. they remind her of her childhood and everywhere she’s traveled. 

favorite thing in the world to do is have a bunch of her friends over, make a slew of homemade pizzas and desserts, pop open several bottles of rosé wine, throw pillows and blankets all over the floor and watch movies of various genres until everyone falls asleep. 

she loves 80′s music and prefers to listen to records rather than stream music or what have you. it sounds more authentic that way. at least, in her opinion. 

her apartment looks like a forest. she has plants everywhere. e v e r y w h e r e. she’s also a really good plant mom and has named all of her children. she talks to them and knows their favorite songs. maybe she’s a tad bit psychotic. who isn’t, though ?

since the accident, she’s developed a huge fear of driving. she won’t drive. ever. she either walks, rides her bike or takes an uber. if she can get away with not having to ride in a car, though, she much prefers that option. i mean, can you blame her ?

she loves astrology and tarrot readings and ghost hunts and talking about aliens and going on hunts for cryptids. she’s always thought there has to be more to life than what we can see, so she’s open to at least considering most everything, ya know ?

her closest friends call her foxy. everyone else calls her bry. some people call her bryleigh ? but i can’t imagine why. it’s a mouthful. 

send her memes and you’ll have her heart. she has a huge folder of them saved on her phone. there might or might not be more memes on her phone than actual pictures. hint: there totally is. 

bryleigh can speak english, spanish, filipino, greek, italian, thai, japanese, swahili, hausa and a little bit of a berber dialect to varying degrees of success. she’s most comfortable with english, spanish and greek, and least comfortable with the african languages. she can also write in a variety of writing systems, though not nearly as well as she can speak the languages. she’s forgotten a lot of the rules and method that go along with many of them.

PLOT IDEAS.

you can read about all my connection ideas right here !

NOTE: i’m open to pretty much anything, so if you have an idea, run it by me ! more than likely, i’ll approve and start rambling off ideas and headcanons and half-formed thoughts until you politely tell me to shut the fuck up. sounds fun, right ?

THE END.

thanks so much for reading this monster post ! i don’t know how to be concise. i’ve tried. i tried here. obviously, i failed. but i love you all. i can’t wait to write and interact with you all and your lovely, wonderful characters ! hasta la vista, baby.

[team-free-will-you-idjits-67]

This Crazy Life - Part Four

This story is PURE fiction. I mean absolutely NO harm to Jared or his family. Especially Gen. (Also, no Gen hate or I’m blocking your ass cause it’s not tolerated here.) 

Description:  Your life changed the moment Jared Padalecki walked through the doors of your shit job, in your shit town. You helped him as much as you could, becoming extremely close. (Characters, Warnings, etc. will change per part.)

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader, Young Female Fan, Atlas Waitress

Word Count: 1213

Warnings: Fluffy, Jared gets a little sad but you help out.

A/N: SO, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve released anything and I apologize for that but I needed a break to get my spark back and I think I finally have it back. I hope y’all enjoy! Also, thank you to @justawaywardwinchester for editing this for me. Well, as far as I let you edit lmao. 

Taglist

Masterlist / Jared Padalecki Masterlist / Part 3

You sighed as you parked in a back lot on Main Street. Finding a good spot was absolute hell at this time of night. As you turned off the ignition, nerves started building in your stomach. What is going to happen when we exit the safe confines of the car? Will we be bombarded? Will Jared be okay? What if people take pictures? A million questions ran through your head, making you slightly nauseous with anxiety.

You looked towards Jared, who was looking out the window and taking in his surroundings. Putting on the best fake smile that you could, you inquired, “Ready? Think you can handle going out in public right now?”

He turned towards you, a small smile spread across his face, “Yeah. I’m ready.” He rubbed his hands together in front of himself enthusiastically, “Let’s go get some food.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you grabbed your purse, “Okay. Let’s go.”

You fiddled with your purse strap as you both walked around to the front of the buildings. You half-jogged to keep up with Jared’s long strides as you walked down the short stretch of sidewalk towards ‘Atlas’.

You stomach dropped slightly when a younger girl squealed in front of the two of you, “Jared!” She skipped towards you both, well just Jared, “Can I have a picture with you?”

Jared gleefully agreed, posing with the young fan and chatting with her for a bit before turning his attention back towards you, “Sorry about that.”

You shook your head, “It’s no problem.” You shrugged, “I get it, you’re a star, people want to talk to you.” You looked towards him, “I only care that you’re okay. If you want to turn around, walk back to the car and just get fast food and hole up in the hotel, let me know.”

He smirked, “Thank you. But,” he reached for the front door of ‘Atlas’ and ushered you into the building, “I want to do this. I want to try this pizza you raved about the whole way here.”

You blushed slightly and giggled, “I didn’t talk about it that much, did I?”

He smiled, about to answer when the hostess came up to the two of you, “Hi! Welcome to Atlas! Just two for tonight?”

Jared nodded, “Yes please.”

The waitress nodded as she grabbed two menus, “Follow me!”

You both followed her up to the second floor of the restaurant. She took your drink orders as you both settled at the table. As you looked over the menu, you peeked over it towards Jared, “Pick whatever type of pizza you want. I’ll eat anything.”

He looked up towards you with a smirk, “Even anchovies?”

You squinted towards him, “You better be messing with me on that one.”

He chuckled as he focused back towards the menu, “Yeah, I’m messing with you.”

You looked back towards the grand list of pizza types and smirked, “Good.”

After a few minutes, the waitress came back with your drinks and chirped, “Are you guys ready to order?”

You looked towards Jared with a raised brow, silently communicating with him. He nodded and looked back towards the menu, “Let’s, uh, do a small hawaiian and a small pepperoni.”

The waitress jotted down the order with a nod, grabbed the menus and turned on her heel towards the kitchen.

“Pepperoni?”

Jared looked towards you with a confused look, “What? What’s wrong with pepperoni?”

You shook your head as you sipped on your water, “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with pepperoni. Just kind of surprised that with all the different combinations of pizzas, you went with the basics...”

He shrugged, “I thought it sounded really good right now.”

You nodded, “Makes sense.”

“So,” Jared placed his elbows on the table and leaned towards you, “Tell me a bit about yourself.” He chuckled, “I’ve only been talking about myself for the last 20 hours.”

You blushed slightly, “It’s completely fine. You have a lot going on.” His face grew somber as he looked down towards the table top. Hoping to help his mood you continued, “What do you wanna know Mr. Padalecki?”

He smiled as he cleared his throat, “So, are you from Bath originally?”

You nodded with a grimace, “Unfortunately.”

“Why do you say that?” He questioned with a quirked brow.

You looked down at your glass of water, rubbing at the condensation that had formed, “The usual small town stuff. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone forms gossip out of nothing. It’s just a place that I could never… vibe with, I guess.”

Jared nodded, “I can see that.” He messed with the straw in his drink, “So, what do you want to do? What are your goals or ambitions?”

You grinned, “Well, I’m almost done with my last semester of college. Right now, I’m just looking for work in the area long enough to save up. I want to get out as soon as I can.”

“What about your family,” he asked.

You shrugged, “They understand. There isn’t much around here for me. All they care about is seeing any future grandbabies every once and awhile.”

Jared laughed, “That’s how my parents were too.”

The waitress came to your table with pizzas in hand, “Hawaiian and Pepperoni, right?” You nodded as she set the pizza’s down. “Anything else I can get you guys?”

You looked towards Jared, who shook his head. You smiled at her, “No, I think we’re good right now. Thank you!”

The waitress walked away as Jared began pulling slices of pizza to his plate, burning his fingers slightly in the process. You giggled as he waved his hand, causing his attention to shift towards you, “Don’t laugh. It’s hot.”

You snickered as you grabbed the pizza pie server, “That’s why they give us this, Jared.” You slid the thin piece of metal underneath a piece of pepperoni pizza and put it onto your plate.

He looked at you with a playful glint in his eyes, “You know what!” He shook his head as you continued to silently laugh at him. Jared took a bite of his pizza and chewed thoughtfully. “Where do you want to go?”

You looked towards him with a furrowed brow, “What do you mean?”

“You said you want to leave the area. Where do you want to go?”

You swallowed the small bite of pepperoni pizza you had in your mouth, “Well, don’t think of me as some crazy stalker fan but, Austin.” You cleared your throat, “I’m drawn to Austin. It’s more of my pace, and there are more people with similar views and opinions there.”

Jared nodded, “Austin is a great city. I’m super glad I moved there and have,” he paused, “well, had a family there.”

Your heart sank at his pain. You wanted to do everything in your power to make him feel better and be okay, but this isn’t something he’ll just get over easily. “Jared,” he cut you off with a wave of his hand.

“No, Y/N. I’m okay. It’ll be okay.” He sighed as he slid the last piece of crust into his mouth. “Tell me more about yourself. Your hopes and dreams.” He smiled, “I’d like to get to know the person who saved my life a little more.”

Tags: 

Forever Tags:

@emoryhemsworth , @nanie5 , @gabrielslittleangel, @alexwinchester23 , @witch-of-letters , @caswinchester2000 , @justawaywardwinchester , @thehufflepuffblog , @kittenofsarcasm , @missihart23 , @spnfamily-alwayskeepfighting, @team-free-gallagher, @rhiannonj79 , @curly-haired-disaster, @mogaruke, @supernaturalsammy01, @heyitscam99, @hobby27, @crazyrebelbitch87 , @frozenhuntress67, @gracefultrenchcoat494 , @duskany, @mazie87

Sam/Jared x Reader Tags:

@agentaguilera-kaz2y5, @andyl394, @justkindafloatingalong, @rebelminxy, @totally-magoatally, @jointhehunt67 , @m-i-c-r-o-w-a-v-e-s , @xxtheoutsidersxx , @paradoxical-sleep

[ryanfoell-blog]

Research Project - Final

Introduction Society as a whole is declining in mental wellness. This claim may seem dramatic, but in 2018, The New York Times analyzed data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHNES) and discovered that in 2010, 15.5 million individuals were taking [antidepressants] for at least 5 years and by 2018, almost 25 million adults had been taking them for at least 2 years. This rate nearly doubled in just eight years (Carey and Gebeloff, par. 4). The World Health Organization defines mental wellness as, “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community” (WHO website). We can see from the data from the NHNES a dependency on pharmaceuticals, specifically antidepressants. This shows a lack of mental wellness due to the need for external aids to “cope with the normal stresses of life.”            The internet has allowed us to feel connected with our peers more frequently and intimately than any other time in the history of the world. However, this artificial connection has taken away from the meaningful daily connections we have through social interactions and experiences. Due to the lack of meaningful connections, we can see depression becoming more prevalent in society. While depression is frequently treated with pharmaceuticals (as evidenced by the NHNES), it could be argued that there is a better solution. Depression and other social disorders should not be remedied primarily with pharmaceuticals; rather, they should be primarily remedied with meaningful connections and positive social interactions. It is with the meaningful connections in mind that one should study the effects of social solutions to depression in adults. Literature Review Hides, Leanne, Sharon Samet, and Dan Lubman. “Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) for the treatment of co-occurring depression and substance use: Current evidence and directions for future research.” Drug and Alcohol Review 29 (2010): 508-517. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on changing the mindset of the patient in order to produce improved mood and coping strategies for the stresses of life. In 2010, Leanne Hides, Sharon Samet, and Dan Lubman published an article investigating prior research regarding CBT “for the treatment of co-occurring depression and substance use.” While no primary research was performed, Hides et al. evaluated over 50 other studies and found 12 to be credible sources of primary research. Through thorough analysis, it was found that CBT works, but hasn’t shown to be better than other forms of psychotherapy treatment. The conclusion made by the researchers was that variables that mediate treatment outcomes must be defined and identified more specifically in order for CBT to be beneficial. It was also found that CBT hasn’t been applied to patients over a long enough period of time to determine efficacy. While Hides, et al. did extensive research and found underwhelming support for their thesis, this shows the potential for other methods of behavior therapy to be effective for treating patients diagnosed with depression. I propose that meaningful experiences could prove more beneficial than CBT, because it specifically addresses the four factors of mental wellbeing as defined in my proposal (“a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community”). However, it could also be said that CBT combined with experience-based therapy would be even more successful in the long run. Hari, Johann. Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions. Bloomsbury Circus, 2018. This book talks about the author's experience taking antidepressants for his depression. Many people that are depressed are told that they have a chemical deficiency of serotonin in their brain and are prescribed SSRI medication to help this chemical imbalance. Although this is sometimes it actually is a chemical imbalance in the brain, medication is not always the best way to treat depression, in fact, this can be harmful to the person and their brain if this solution is the only option presented. Johann covers the many different causes of depression and mental illness and also covers some of the potential solutions to the mental health crisis that is happening in today’s society. He talks about the dramatic differences between the environment in which someone becomes depressed and how to avoid those circumstances. This book and source will assist my research in exploring the solution to treating depression and other illnesses such as PTSD, anxiety disorder and addiction. My hope is that this source will help connect the audience to the research emotionally because I think that this is something that we should all care about because we are all at risk of facing these mental health disorders. The same way that we take care of our body and our physical health we need to also take care of our mental and emotional health. Johann does a good job applying these topics to our everyday lives and also provides some inspiration. Jonasson, Cajsa. “Using Intensive Longitudinal Data to Study Treatment Effects in Patients with Major Depression: A Systematic Review.” Journal for Person-Oriented Research, vol. 5, no. 1, Dec. 2019, pp. 17–26., doi:10.17505/jpor.2019.02.            In this Journal article, it is discussed the different methods and options for treating mental illnesses like depression. Cognitive-behavioral Therapy, Exercise, Diet and sleep all are huge contributors to our mental state. I believe that this journal will support my thesis because Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be one of the most effective ways to treat depression. I think that this journal is a good demonstration of the options and measures that should be taken when treating and diagnosing someone with moderate or mild depression or anxiety. Some of these feelings are very natural and all humans will, at some time or another, feel these emotions. The emotions only become a problem when they begin to affect the thought process of the person and the decisions that are made by the person in this mental state. Frequently these thoughts and decision patterns are unhealthy for the individual. This journal will explore the methods that can be used hand in hand with SSRI medication and well and without medication, depending on the doctor's recommendations for the individual. I think that this information will support my research because it isn’t selecting one method of treatment. It explores the combination of treatments that can be customized to fit the individual needs of a patient. The peer-reviewed discussion shows that many people in the scientific community have had the discussion and therefore has diverse information that can be drawn from to help support my research. I believe that the combination of these methods is what makes this source important to the research. Peterson, Jordan thoughts on antidepressants; diet change cured depression, autoimmune disease and depression. Joe Rogan Podcast. Jordan Peterson is a clinical philologist that has dedicated most of his career and practice to the treatment of depression. In this podcast, he explains to the podcast host Joe Rogan that there are many different causes of depression and how there are things in life that go wrong in our lives and they can strongly affect the ways that we see the world. The view that someone has towards the world can then strongly impact the mood of said person. Dr. Peterson brings up a variety of questions that we can ask our selves to determine whether or not we are predisposed to depressive feelings or if the influences in our lives are what is causing the problems people could face in depressive states. Examples of some of the questions that he asks are “Do you have friends? Do you have an intimate relationship? Do you have a reasonable career? Are you as educated as you are intelligent? Do you have something useful that you like to do outside of work? Do you have a drug or alcohol problem? Are there any other behavioral issues? If you are sick, do you do what is necessary to get better? Are you working towards your own personal goals?” As these questions are presented I believe that if someone struggling with depression is able to honestly answer these questions, I believe that they will have a much better understanding of where they stand with their mental illness. Dr. Peterson shows that through the answering to these questions people can slowly diagnose their main source of depression and then work to improve that aspect of there life and in doing so lessening the feelings of depression and long term find the joy and happiness in life that we all seek. Counter Argument R. L. Carhart-Harris, M. Bolstridge, C. M. J. Day, J. Rucker, R. Watts, D. E. Erritzoe, M. Kaelen, B. Giribaldi, M. Bloomfield, S. Pilling, J. A. Rickard, B. Forbes, A. Feilding, D. Taylor, H. V. Curran, D. J. Nutt. Psilocybin with psychological support for treatment-resistant depression: six-month follow-up. 8 November 2017. Psychedelic therapy is a very uncommon treatment method in the United States because many of these drugs have been illegal for many years and performing research and studying them would be highly illegal and risky for anyone wanting to participate. In recent years the government has allowed small clinical trials to take place to try and find positive medical use for these frequently misunderstood drugs. This article states, “Recent clinical trials are reporting marked improvements in mental health outcomes with psychedelic drug-assisted Psychotherapy” although it is difficult to draw any firm conclusion on the effectiveness of these psychedelic drugs, these studies show that further research could be very worthwhile in the treatment of depression and Post-traumatic stress disorder. The study performed was only with a group of twenty patients, six females, and fourteen males. Everyone was given two doses of psilocybin 7 days apart in a “supportive setting” depression symptoms were evaluated from 1 week to 6 months post-treatment. The treatment was mostly well-received. One of the most interesting things about this study was “No patients sought conventional antidepressant treatment within 5 weeks of psilocybin. Reductions in depressive symptoms at 5 weeks were predicted by the quality of the acute psychedelic experience.” Although the research is severely limited by sample size and length of post-treatment follow up the results still justify further study because the majority of patients experienced a positive improvement in depression symptoms over the period of 6 months post-treatment. Hypothesis            Based on the World Health Organization’s definition, we see there are four factors that contribute to mental wellness. Realizing one’s potential, coping with normal stresses of life; ability to work productively and fruitfully, contribution to the community. I predict that if we “prescribe” a social experience that focuses on one or more of these four factors, we will see less dependency on pharmaceuticals, namely antidepressants, to treat depression. Problem and Purpose As we grow to understand how depression and mental wellness impact our lives, we can see why it is so important that we address them. The ease of taking a pill (a perceived solution) can dilute the complex nature of depression and mental illness as a whole. It is because of this, alternative treatments are being overlooked as viable options. “Originally intended for short-term care and episodic mood problems,” we now see that society has now veered towards open-ended use of anti-depressants (Carey and Gebeloff, par. 13). This dependence on anti-depressants must be minimized in order to address the deeper psychological needs of an individual.            In addition, depressed individuals will find relief and confidence to reestablish meaningful connections through the four factors of mental wellness. All of this can be done, without the negative side effects of an anti-depressant. A redirection of treatment for depression would have infinite benefits to society as a whole. As individuals properly address the needs of their mental wellness through meaningful connections, they will, in turn, help others merely by association. Not only will they be able to cope with the “normal stresses of life” but also as they realize their potential, work productively, and contribute to the community, they will be an example to those within their circle of influence. The benefits are limitless. Conclusion Mental illness and depression are so multi-faceted and nuanced, that one might feel it is too difficult to address. However, the scientific community should seek out the proper and healthiest methods for treating depression in any form. Not simply the quick-fix of a pill. Especially when long-term happiness is the ultimate goal for those seeking relief. When the proper methods of treatment are applied, patients will begin to experience freedom from the bonds depression and mental illness. Depression and other social disorders should not be remedied primarily with pharmaceuticals; rather, they should be primarily remedied with meaningful connections and positive social interactions. As we do our best to remedy these issues through social solutions, the people that continually suffer from depression will be able to realize their personal potential, cope with normal stresses of life; have the ability to work productively and fruitfully, and contribution to the community in a meaningful way. While one solution may work for some, the diversity of those who suffer from depression proves that we need diverse solutions for this epidemic that is infecting the lives of adults. Meaningful connections and positive social interactions can be the catalyst for a societal transformation towards mental wellness and long-term happiness.

[btstheory-finishi]

Love Yourself 轉 Tear: Singularity

Make sure to check out my other theories before reading this!

 A sound of something breaking

I awake from sleep

A sound full of unfamiliarity

Try to cover my ears but can’t go to sleep 

The pain in my throat gets worse

Try to cover it

I dont have a voice

An unfamiliar sound of something breaking wakes him up. He tries to avoid it by covering his ears and trying to go back to sleep. His throat hurts more, and he tries to cover up the sound by screaming. Because he then says that he doesn’t have a voice.

 Today I hear that sound again

Its ringing again, that sound

A crack again on this frozen lake

I dumped myself into the lake

I buried my voice for you

 Another day and he hears that sound again. A crack – meaning that he keeps hearing something breaking. The frozen lake keeps cracking (– temperatures keep shifting. It can either mean that the ice is getting stronger or weaker.) He dumped himself into the cold and gave up on his voice.

 Over the winter lake I was thrown

A thick ice has formed

In the dream I shortly went into

My agonizing phantom pain is still the same

 He says that he was thrown but above he said that he dumped himself into the lake – this could mean that there was something like a trigger that forced him to feel the desire to dump himself into the lake. And also over that lake, a thick ice has formed – this could mean that the temperature changed in a way that the ice got stronger.

Even in the dream the he shortly went to, his pain was apparent. A phantom pain = something that doesn’t exist anymore but you still feel pain. So even in his dreams he cant be free.

 Have I lost myself

Or have I gained you

I suddenly run to the lake

There`s my face in it

 By losing himself he can gain that person – by gaining that person he loses himself. He runs to the lake when he thinks of that connection (losing and gaining). And the he sees his face = his true self that is trapped in the ice. Meaning that he lost/locked away his true self and has put on a mask just to “gain” that person.  

 Please dont say anything

Reach my hand out to cover the mouth

But in the end, spring will come someday

The ice will melt and flow away

 He doesn’t want the person to say anything so he covers their mouth. He doesn’t want to listen to them. And says that spring will come eventually, the ice will melt and flow away – meaning that his throat won’t hurt anymore, his ears won’t hurt anymore, he will be able to sleep and relax. I think this is a way of expressing how V doesn’t want to accept the fact that he has lost himself. I think the two last sentences are like “even if I did lose myself, a time will come where the ice will melt (spring) and I will find myself again”.

 Tell me if my voice isnt real        

If I shouldnt have thrown myself away

Tell me if even this pain isnt real

What I was supposed to do back then

 If his voice isn’t real, that person should tell him. If he shouldn’t have thrown himself away, then the person should tell him. If the pain isn’t real then the person should tell him BUT he also covers that person’s mouth and ask them to be quiet (above). Maybe because he is scared of the answer? Or doesn’t want to hear it? Or maybe he knows that what he did is wrong but he still tries to justify his actions by saying “what was I supposed to do” because he was feeling pain.

Mask =

I suddenly run to the lake

There`s my face in it

Please dont say anything

Reach my hand out to cover the mouth

 MV:

A quick summary of the music videos meaning, so that the details I explain are more understandable:

V has problems dealing with all of his emotions, so he locks them (and his true self) away by pretending to be someone he is not. (he also does that for a woman he believes is his “soulmate”.) And that process of pretending to be someone he isn’t is displayed by him putting on masks and the different colors and places shown in the mv. And all that while the real V is trapped under the ice.

 “Places” being shown in the music video, listed in order of their appearance: (also yall I probably say “his real/true self” 234567890 times :’) im sorry :’).)

1 . Plain grey concrete

Lyrics: 

A sound of something breaking

I awake from sleep

A sound full of unfamiliarity

Try to cover my ears but can’t go to sleep 

 I think the combination of the lyrics and the dancer’s/V’s movements (right when he says “A sound of something breaking” he abruptly moves his hand away and the dancers also move), indicate that V notices that that cracking sound means that his true self is falling deeper and deeper into the lake. (ice gets stronger and stronger) Meaning that he is losing himself more. But he only knows that deep down and doesn’t want to accept it.

 Grey:

2 . V trapped behind ice

Lyrics right after: Try to cover my ears but can’t go to sleep

And before: The pain in my throat gets worse

Ice meaning:

So, he truly is losing himself more and more. V has “frozen”/lost/locked himself in the lake. He put on a mask for the sake of that woman. However by doing all of that, he completely ignores his problems and deceives himself into thinking that he is “someone else” (sounds quite dramatic lol). But by locking himself away, he loses all his colours. He locks everything away that makes him special and different. And he suffocates in grey. All of his emotions, his colours, his true personality, are locked away and he becomes something like a robot (definition of the colour grey). Because by doing that, he “creates a sense of calmness” because with his personality, experiences, emotions (and basically everything that makes him himself) all the problems, anxiety, worry and anger disappear. He is surrounded by grey. That’s what his self has become. However, for that woman he puts on a mask. To make it seem as if he hasn’t lost himself. And also to be able to stay with her. Because if he still had his colours etc, he would be haunted by his problems and his pain, concluding into him not being able to stay with her. So through her, he can keep up his façade and convince himself that he truly is happy with that woman.

Buuut he isn’t because its LOVE YOURSELF not FAKE YOURSELF

3 . Red R-Revolution, E-Evolution, D-Drop in the Oceeeeaaan

Lyrics: 

The pain in my throat gets worse

Try to cover it

I don’t have a voice

Today I hear that sound again

Its ringing again, that sound (only half of this line)

Red meaning:

I think the colour and the lyrics explain how he is feeling while fighting that sound. Or trying to overpower it with his scream. The Tae surrounded by red during that crack sound, is the Tae who has his mask on and has locked up his true self.

However:

The Tae surrounded by blue is the locked up, repressed part. The colour blue represents his oppression.

Also right after V says “try to cover it” we briefly see the blue scene from above. Meaning that he tries to cover up the crack sound which is connected to his real self. So: he tries to cover up his real self. Why is the crack sound connected to his real self? Because the crack means that the ice is getting stronger = the ice in which his true self is locked is getting stronger = he is losing/hiding himself more

4. The masks:

Riiight here there is this glitch in the song. That glitch is connected to the sound (the crack) that V keeps hearing.

We have a colourless (white) Tae with his masks surrounding him. It is up to him which mask he chooses.

Lyrics: 

Its ringing again, that sound A crack again on this frozen lake

Then we again see the locked away part of V that is surrounded by blue

I dumped myself into the lake

The colour behind V goes from purple/violet to blue.

The V we are seeing right now is again the locked up part. Why does it go from purple to blue?

Purple:

Blue:

He goes from being someone immature and arrogant (as seen by himself) to seeming cool, calm and collected. Purple is being covered by blue. And the blue is the representation of how he locked up his true self. (purple representing a part of his true self) And during these scenes he says “I dumped myself into the lake”

I buried my voice for you

The fact that we see these scenes in between V’s white clothed ones with the masks makes it seem like the blue scenes are a flashback. In the sense of: the white and neutral V knows that he has locked up his real self and recalls it. While trying to decide which mask to put on.

As seen by the dance and the movements of the masks, it is obvious that v controls the masks.

In the background we the blue (representing the “oppression” of his true self) and in the foreground, where all the dancers and V stand, we see grey.

However amidst all of this negativity :’) we see this:

The walls of this room are covered. Do you know what these scenes remind me of:

The thing is: it’s the exact same room/concept, however since V has locked himself up in the lake, those walls that are “stained” with his “sins”, are now covered with paper. Because he locked up his real self. However, we don’t have the exact same “sins” as RUN written on the – now covered – walls of Singularity. Because this is a different timeline where he has different “sins”. But the concept of the room is the same.

Moving on: we see his earring saying “LOVED” and also the red roses which are a representation of love. This means that, the V that has covered/locked up his true self and has put on a façade, is being loved. By whom? By that woman.

In the dream I shortly went to

By dream he doesn’t mean a real dream or an illusion like Jin’s dream world, but more like an unattainable dream like the blue mirage. So, something he wishes he has but it’s only a dream. However, which part of this mv is that dream?

The scenes where his walls are covered and he is loved, are parts of a dream that he has always wanted to be reality. And for a short moment, it felt like that dream had come true since he put on a mask and found a woman that loves him. But that’s just FAKE LOVE because the woman loves his faced and his masks but not his real self because she doesn’t even know his real self.

However, there was that short moment where he truly wanted to believe or believed that his dream had become reality AND THAT is the dream “he shortly went to”

BUT: even in that dream, pain follows him.

My agonizing phantom pain is still the same

In this case it is not a body part but more like this:

During the time he still had his true self and didn’t use masks etc, he felt all of his pain. The pain of everything that had happened until now.

But now that he locked that part away, he shouldn’t feel that pain anymore.

But it still is there, so its “phantom pain”.

The dream that he shortly went to is burned and destroyed once again as the phantom pain appears.

 He runs to the lake and sees that the ice is melting

The ice continues to melt.

Meaning that spring has come and that it is time for Tae to find his true self again.

There are many ways to interpret this. One being: The flower represents the girl or more like the “short dream” that I talked about before.

He lets go of the flower (lets go of the dream) and the flower moves away with the masks. Because V won’t use a different façade anymore.

The V that shortly went to the dream (the one who was in the room with flowers) is seen putting on the mask as black fluid runs down his “cheek”. I think this scene is like a farewell. The last time he puts on a mask. And black can be interpreted as the sadness or tears. And maybe that his mask is now breaking and his true self is slowly coming out.

Alright guys that’s it. THANK YOU FOR READING.

Feel free to check out my YouTube account where I explain the theory in a more understandable way :)

[sebastianxmercer-blog]

Self Para No. 1 - Don’t Walk Away

circa 2017

Jerking upright, Sebastian awoke to cold water being splashed across his face. Raising his hand to defend himself on instinct, Sebastian winced as Ebby threw another cupful of water onto his shivering body. He could hardly even mutter a,“Babe, what’s wrong,” before she jumped onto his lap, her tiny hands balled in the collar of his crumpled dress shirt from the night before. He couldn’t exactly remember where they were, what they had done, or where they had gone. Were they in Ireland or England? He couldn’t recall. Casting his blue gaze out the window, Big Ben blinked back slowly in response. “What have you been doing?!” she shrieked, her screams muffled by her own sobs as she collapsed onto his chest, her day-old mascara staining her cheeks. What a way to wake up-- but then again, it had become their usual pattern. Even her way of jolting him awake was right on schedule, nine o’clock on the dot. Wake up, break up, make up. It was a never ending pattern of forgiveness, broken promises, and disappointment. Then again, he didn’t know what else to expect the day he decided to drop down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage. Weren’t deceit and dishonesty just synonyms for what they called marriage? What was marriage, what was a relationship if it did not mean hurting the one you loved?

Running his hand through his hair, he brought his lips to her soft head, doing his best to soothe her anxiety. It was usually anxiety when it came down to it. Ebby had never been one to handle the spotlight well, or the fans, or the females for that matter. When they had first formed The French Lips, he had done it for the promise of stardom, she had done it out of love for the art. A strong willed girl with an iron fist, Ebby often fluctuated between points of extreme happiness and despairing sadness… it was one of the many reasons Sebastian had come to adore her in the first place. Her hands strung melodies wherever they landed, on the piano keys, on his heart, on his body. Nobody knew him like Ebby, and nobody knew Ebby like he did. They had gone through the ringer together, grown up together, became who they were supposed to be t o g e t h e r. It wasn’t always perfect, but he figured it didn’t always need to be. They were happy, in their own imperfect way. He needed her just as much as she needed him, and when he looked at her laying on his chest, felt the wetness of her tears seeping through the fabric, he felt the weight of the words she couldn’t say aloud from above the surface of her sun kissed skin. She had everything, even him… something that not many others could say.

With a sneer, she pushed his hand away from her head, drawing his phone from her back pocket. Holding it up to his face, he peered at the image on the screen. His own face grinned back at him as two topless girls wrapped themselves around his chest, one nibbling on his cheek and the other girl with her hand snaking its way up beneath his grey v-neck. They didn’t look older than twenty four. Closing his eyes, he tried his best to recall the memory… though the night before only came to light in broken bits and pieces. He couldn’t have told Ebby their names if he tried. He couldn’t remember what he did with them either. That was his own fault. It wasn’t new though, he had cheated on Ebby dozens of times before… but the groupies meant nothing to him. They were just a body to rest in for the night when the pressure and intensity of his own world grew to be too much. Ebby’s heart was his true home though. She knew that. 

“I don’t remem-”

“That’s the problem Sebastian, you never remember. God, how many times have I had to watch this and see things like this and watch as you become this… this person,” Ebby stuttered, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she sat upright, her doe eyes boring into his. Those eyes, she killed him every time with those damn eyes. She always had, even from the first time they met. “I’m tired, Sebastian. I’m tired of worrying about you and I’m tired of giving you chance after chance after chance. God, all you ever do is hurt people. That’s all you’re good for, I swear,” she said with a shake of her head, wiping her hand across her snot streaked face. When she got up from the bed, he grabbed for her waist only for her to slap him away. She always did that too… always only ever met him halfway. 

“Baby, come on. You know they don’t mean anything. You’re my main girl, you… it’s always been you. Come back to bed, let’s go to sleep and forget this ever happened,” he drawled slowly, taking his time as he swung his feet over the side of their king sized bed. “We’re in London, why don’t we enjoy ourselves. We’ve never traveled as much as we do now.”

“Sebastian!”

He didn’t even register his phone being thrown out the window until Ebby slammed the windowsill shut behind it. “Don’t you fucking get it?” she exclaimed, throwing her hands to her side. “We’re done. Look at you, you’re a fucking mess. Look at what you’ve become! Look at what you did to the band. It’s your fault, it’s all your fault, and I’ve stuck by you because I love you. And I promised I would never leave you. We promised each other, when we were still kids at Berklee, that when we made it big, it wouldn’t matter because all we’d have would be each other. Don’t you remember that? Don’t you want that? Don’t you fucking want more for yourself? You’re so washed up, you can’t even remember each night as it happens. You think I haven’t found this either?” Pulling out a vial from the pocket of her bathrobe, she held it up in the light. It was his fairy dust, shining under the dim glow of the swing lamp above her, his jolt of energy… his s p e e d. Rising to his feet, he bridged the gap between them. Her breath was ragged and she was in complete hysterics. It was hard for him to look at her like that, much less know that he was the cause. He never wanted to hurt her… God, he loved her more than anything; but he also loved beauty, and the world, and intangible, impossible things. He just wished she could understand that he did want more, but everything came with a price. Even the world and its orbit wasn’t good enough for him. He’d always want more.

“You’re not going to leave Eb. How many times have we gone through this? We’ve always found our way back to each other. Don’t walk away. I made a promise to you, to care for you and love you and protect you. I promised you that.”

“And you haven’t kept a single one. All you’re doing is hurting me. Do you see how this h u r t s me? You hurt me Sebastian, and I’ve done all I can to hold onto you, but I can’t anymore. I don’t want this stupid fucking ring, I don’t want your jewelry or that gross ass Chanel perfume or a stupid fucking Lamborghini. I want you back. I have to let you go and you have to let me leave. I won’t watch you kill yourself slowly. I don’t want to bring our kids to your funeral in ten years because you’ve overdosed in a strip club or alleyway. This was never how it was supposed to be!” Her words were jumbled. They came too fast and all at once, smacked him harder than she ever had. She left him breathless, and all he could do was watch as she pulled her pants around her slim waist and threw a sweater over her head. 

Slightly hungover and partially dehydrated, his hands combed through his jet black hair. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many ways to express how much she meant to him… but all possibilities were escaping his lips. Nothing he said would have justified his actions, nothing he could do would fix it. He had broken her, and she had risen from the ashes. Her own strength was written across her face, and her posture was that of a grounded goddess-- fearsome in her presence. He never thought Ebby would actually leave him, and every minute he watched as she prepared to walk away, he couldn’t help but stare in awe. He had taken her for granted, and she realized she was worth more. Maybe that was for the best. “Ebby, I-”

“I’m leaving you,” she blurted.

“Ebby, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare fucking say that to me, don’t you dare say that to me now just because I’ve made up my mind. I’m going no matter what you do or what lie you spin this time. Here, I won’t need this anymore,” she said, prying her engagement ring from her thin finger and throwing it on the ground. The echo from the metal clattered so slowly, he could feel his own heart beat with it. “God, I hope you make something of yourself or die trying,” she finished.

“I always told you that you deserved better,” he whispered, uttering the only honest words that could come to mind… the only thing that felt right to say aloud. With that, he watched her pivot on her blood-red heels and make her way to the doorway for what would invariably be the last time. The reality of his own predicament didn’t seem real. It felt as though he were living in an alternate universe, watching someone other than himself experience the worst day of his life. It was entirely surreal, painful and gutting to watch. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real.

The click of her heels only paused for a moment as she took one last glance over her shoulder, her long lashes combing her soft cheeks. He had never seen such malice in such beautiful eyes. 

“Go to Hell, Sebastian. Maybe you’ll see me there, you son of a bitch.”

[tasedandconfused]

whoops opinions and sass towards @ m/arvel @ e/ndgame  also kind of @ i/nfinity w/ar if we’re honest will be under the cut so don’t look if you don’t wanna see it js

how the r/ussos and whatever writers were interviewed for e/ndgame plan the characters futures:

Character with immense anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, has sacrificed themselves more than enough times already and finally has a life that they’ve been trying to get for years in spite of their trauma and still is one of the most traumatized humans: Let’s kill them because it’s the only sacrifice that makes sense! 

Character who’s had a ton of unseen trauma, been through more than literally everybody else, has finally obtained a found family and done everything possible to ensure the future is successful? Let’s murder them and in interviews state that she didn’t deserve a funeral because she’s a cipher, when we’ve been ignoring their storyline the entire time. Oh yeah, and say that she, who’s spent her entire time in the movies trying to make up for the murders she committed when she was being tortured, abused, manipulated, and forced into a life she never had a choice out of (and, at least comic wise, the one time she did break the rules was in a v consensual relationship w a guy i’m mentioning later who was then shoved on ice for it because he disobeyed orders and fell in love, which we don’t know if it’s actually in the movies or not bc they keep saying they might include it then cut all scenes of them talking)

Characters who’ve been abused by their adoptive father since literally the beginning? Let’s have one of them die for man pain after trying to rationalize the abusive parent and make him a likable villain, bc why the fuck not, let’s have the other one suddenly be more or less forgiving of him for no real reason, then have a second version of her killed because she refused to stop trying to make her abusive father care about her when he wouldn’t! Because who cares about abuse victims right!

A character who’s been traumatized for essentially 90 years, abused, manipulated, had his mind wiped, his head adjusted, who even knows if he had to suffer for his love for another character in the movies bc they erased their entire and extremely important relationship for favor in q/ueerbaiting and pushing all their female characters aside and ignoring them, continuing to force him into further trauma, have him voluntarily go back on ice in spite of the fact he was literally forced to be on ice whenever he misbehaved while they tore apart his mind repeatedly, then, rather than just say that they want him to be his own character awhile longer before taking over the mantle of another character, state that he’s too damaged to take over the mantle because he was kidnapped, tortured, and abused into a role of a mass assassin when he’s been cured of most if not al of the programming and has been trying to heal for the longest time, and every time he tries to get out of fighting he’s forced back into it by his supposed ‘best friend’, and he’s not had a single incident since the programming was removed from his head but apparently he’s still ‘too damaged’ and ‘not good enough’ for the mantle.

I’m not even gonna try to describe everything about l/oki, but having his abuser murder him is kind of more than a little fucked up. Then again, they’re the same people who thought bringing re/d skull back would be a ‘fun and exciting idea’. 

A character who never really had to give up anything, especially now since they decided sending him to his ‘old life’ would be so much better than having him make a new life (which already was gonna be canon, he’s supposed to be living w s/haron according to the writers before the r/ussos had that cut bc they didn’t want emily back and they thought it was ‘too domestic’. and hey, sending him back to a girl he knew for a few months but apparently ‘loved more than anyone else, including the woman he actually fell in love with now, and his two best friends who fucking needed him’ was such a better storyline than letting him make a new life in modern times, not fuck up the past and the universe, and not be able to be held fully accountable for every horrible thing h/ydra did, from infiltrating s/hield to kidnapping and controlling b/ucky, because he already showed by fucking p/eggy that he didn’t care about preserving the t/imeline. he had the opportunity to stop it and chose not to. But hey, he didn’t have to actually suffer at all during the whole movie! Cause apparently he didn’t care that his two best friends died! Or that he fucked over his relationship with one of his other best friends from the comics! Because fun! 

Also, on a slightly unrelated note, there’s one thing that really pisses me off about M/arvel as a whole, that nobody actually cares about but somehow I notice every single time. And no, this has nothing to do with how I personally feel about any of the actors, some I like some I don’t, I’m not specifying who or who, some of these are ethnically and some are religiously, but here’s the thing.

G/weneth P/altrow? J/ewish. Not coming back. We know she’s gonna be referenced in FFH. That’s probably it.  R/obert D/owney Jr? J/ewish. T/ony died. S/carlet J/ohannson? J/ewish. Has her BW movie and is probably done, killed her in what is one of her most canon moments, but in a shitty way and giving shitty excuses. N/atalie P/ortman? Jewi/sh. They basically deleted her from the canon with nothing but a few reused scenes and a few throwaway lines from T/hor. K/at D/ennings? Je/wish. Don’t even reference her anymore, doubt she’s coming back, they really don’t care.  A/aron T/aylor J/ohnson? Half more correct than E/lizabeth was for his role. He’s J/ewish. They killed him. 

Do you see the pattern here? But hey, R/ed S/kull, one of H/ydra’s elites? He’s alive! Isn’t that great messages to throw for people! Like the entire rest of this shitstick is. And hey, H/ayley A/twell, who literally sent her fanbase to attack Em/ily V/an camp for taking a role, and to attack C/hloe B/ennett for being the lead on A/gents of S/hield bc it had more of a fanbase than her crappy show did, and she tried to get it framed as anti-feminist and racist when it has more WOC in the main cast than her show did in probably both seasons? She got to win! She got her way! Isn’t that fantastic! 

anyways the reasons I don’t conform to the M/CU w most of my characters is very much so these reasons, they have no problem showing their r/acism, s/exism, and bullshit repeatedly and only pushing the w/hites forward while fucking over everyone else whenever they can. I know a lot of people don’t see it, and I’m not saying it’s not okay to like the movies, but I’m pretty tired of having to explain my reasons for being pissed off when the heads have no problem showing their ableism, sexism, and racism at any point they can.