#which is making it difficult to do any work

[remiratboi]

Filled

Arranged Marriage Trope ~ 2.8K Words

Wolf-Hybrid!HusbandXHuman!GNFatReader

CW: Arranged marriage, distant relationship, mild bdsm, mild dom/sub vibes, dominant personality more than anything else, masturbation, knotting, size kink, breeding. Honestly it’s pretty tame compared to a lot of my stuff.

It was an arranged marriage. Two powerful families, a long time feud, and a wedding to forge the peace. It wasn’t unique, but it was uniquely awful for you.

Your new husband was a large, stoic wolf hybrid. He was gorgeous, you couldn’t deny that. He was well over 6 feet, and his tight black dress shirts did little to hide the muscles he touted. His fur was dark grey, like a misty mountain range. Sometimes you imagined touching it.

You felt dwarfed, which wasn’t something your chubby ass had experienced much. So that was nice.

But that’s where the positives ended. Yes, you looked great on his arm, a slinky black gown to match his silky black slacks and shirt, but you had no connection.

He seemed uninterested or unwilling to get to know you. You figured, if you were going to have to spend your lives together, you could at least develop a friendship. It wasn’t the love filled marriage you’d dreamed of, but it could still be a partnership, nonetheless.

You tried everything you could think of to seduce the absolute brick of a man. You flirted with him during every interaction you could. You brought him little treats you had baked while he worked. You rubbed his shoulders after a long day. Nothing seemed to make him warm to you.

He seemed comfortable having you around, but also seemed to have no interest in interacting with you, unless you initiated it. It was starting to drive you mad.

You’d noticed little things about him that were more subtle. Things you didn’t realize he’d do. He always protected you when he was around. You were… clumsy to say the least, and the amount of times he’d caught your dumb ass as you were about to fall was kind of comical. It got to the point he always had a hand hovering around you. At your lower back, your hip, your thigh. It was almost like he gravitated around you.

Then there was his eyes. He didn’t express much on his face, in his dangerous line of work, he couldn’t. But that didn’t stop his eyes. You’d learned to read him from watching his eyes. You’d be in meetings together, and without fail you could guess his response. The subtle ways his brows furrowed when he was interested, and listening intently. Or the fire that flashed when he got annoyed.

You noticed his eyes when he looked at you as well. You couldn’t tell what it was, but there was a distinct, unique look in his eyes when he looked at you. And a faint blush to his cheeks when you caught him staring.

You’d started thinking maybe something would come of you two after all, but despite your ever boldening efforts, nothing happened.

Finally, after nearly a year of this new life, you were pent up, and frustrated. You shared a bed, which made any sort of self pleasure extremely difficult. Normally you could time things for when he was busy, or showering. But one night, much later than you would have liked to be asleep, your cunt throbbed.

You squirmed lightly in the large king size bed. He lay mere inches from you, soft snores rising from his chest. His face was serene, calm. You didn’t get to see him at peace very often. You’d begun to cherish seeing him like this.

You couldn’t focus long enough to go to sleep. Your thighs were sticky with your arousal. You wanted to be fucked. It had been so long. Prior to the wedding, you’d been told he’d expect you to fulfil certain… duties. But he’d never touched you in that way aside from a chaste kiss at your wedding.

You’d spent years of your life before meeting him, fearing the tyrant man you’d likely marry, and sometimes, dreaming about the handsome man you’d marry. But you were met with him, something you’d never expected or imagined. Uninterested.

You whined softly to yourself. You were desperate. He was asleep… right? You listened to his breathing. It sounded even. His soft snores solidified your decision.

You turned to lay on your back, a hand snaked down to gently rub your aching clit. You almost moaned out loud, your other hand whipping to your mouth to cover it. He was so close. He was so beautiful. You wanted him. It surprised you how confident you were in that asseratation. You spun your fingers in circles on your small bud while gazing at his face.

You imagined his hands on your body. Those huge, strong hands. What things had he done with those hands? The idea of such violence colliding with your soft, pliable body, had you stifling another moan.

You dipped lower and sunk two fingers into your cunt. You couldn’t help a whimper slipping through. It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. You wanted him to fill you, you wanted him to take you. Why couldn’t he just want you back?!

You groaned in frustration, your fingers desperately pushing in and out of you. You were starting to think you wouldn’t be able to cum while staring at his face, wanting him so badly.

“Please…” you moaned his name before you could stop yourself.

His eyes snapped open. You yelped and scrambled to pull your fingers out of your body, your positioning clear.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” He demanded, his voice dark, an edge you couldn’t place to it. He turned to look at you, his eyes raking down the thin sheet that covered you. Your pj shorts were pulled to your knees, your tank pulled up and over your chest. All that stopped him from seeing you on full display was that barely there sheet. You felt your nipples harden and his eyes flashed down from yours to stare.

“Answer.” He gave no room for argument. His eyes didn’t leave your chest.

“I, uh, I must have been having a bad dream. Sorry I wo-” he didn’t let you finish. He ripped the sheet off of your body and before you could even react, he climbed on top of you, pinning you down underneath him. He held your hands above your head in one thick fist, his knees in between your legs, holding them open. His other hand lightly caressed your round, soft tummy.

“Do not lie to me.” He whispered into your ear, leaning down so his face was next to yours. “You have one more chance to explain why you are almost naked, moaning out my name like a slut.”

Your cheeks burned. You turned your head and squeezed your eyes hoping maybe that would make it all go away.

His warm breath on your face told you it wouldn’t.

“I… I… I was just…” you didn’t know what to say. I was just fingering myself while desperately thinking about you fucking me?! Yeah… no.

He stared at your face. You peeked up at him, surprised by the slight smirk you could see playing in his lips. You had thought he was furious? But maybe…

“I was touching myself.” You spoke softly. Embarrassed still. Even with your soaking cunt spread open for him.

“What were you imagining?” He replied, not missing a beat.

“You.” You practically whispered. He groaned above you.

“Show me what you were doing.” He leaned back and let go of your wrists. He sat back on his calves, kneeled in between your thighs still. You looked up at him, eyes wide with uncertainty. He nodded curtly towards your exposed pussy. He brought his hands up to massage idly at your thick thighs. His thumbs ran along stretch marks and dimples near your hips.

You squirmed, hesitant to perform such a vulnerable action in front of another person. He turned his face from the flesh of your thighs he was handling, up to yours and caught your gaze. “This is your final warning. Do not push me, love.” His tone, deadly. You found your cheeks burning even hotter at the casual term of affection he’d used.

You couldn’t pull your eyes from his, but slowly lowered your hand down to your clit. You rubbed yourself unenthusiastically.

Your husband who had never seemed as wolf-like as he did now, tsked at you. “I don’t think pathetic movements like those were what made you moan my name.” He reminded you again of your embarrassment.

You whimpered and a shudder ran through him. You reached your fingers further, and pressed two shallowly into your cunt. You were surprised by how much more wet you had become. The fear, the uncertainty of his next move, had you on edge like never before.

“Now, tell me, no don’t stop moving.” He interrupted himself when you paused. “That’s right, now tell me, why were you imagining me while fingering yourself? Why were you staring at my face while trying to make yourself cum?” You thought your cheeks couldn’t have gotten more red and hot until he had said that.

“I, please, just let this go, and we can pretend nothing happened.” You begged him, pleading eyes gazing up at his unimpressed ones. “I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t listen very well, do you?” His tone was threatening. He flipped you over in the blink of an eye, and pressed your soft, round body into the bed. You felt his rock hard cock press into your ass from behind through his pyjamas. Your eyes flew open at the realisation of how turned on he was.

“Does that make you less self conscious, love?” He asked, patronisingly, grinding his hips against you. “You might even get a reward if you’re a good slut for me.” You felt yourself get even wetter, if that was possible.

“I was thinking about you fucking me, because I think I might be in love with you, and you never even give me the time of day, and we are just laying in this bed every night, so close and yet so far and I hate it and I don’t know what to do!” You shouted in a chaotic, blubbering stream. You gasped a breath after the words had finished tumbling from your mouth. You hadn’t really meant to say quite that many words…

For a long moment, your wolf hybrid husband was motionless above you. Your face was pressed into the mattress. Tears began to prick the edges of your eyes with each second that dragged on.

“But… I’m a monster?” He asked quietly. “I thought maybe you were just horny and wanted a quick fuck with a warm body.” He flipped you around, your face inches from his. He stared at you with large, round eyes. The stern, controlling man who held you seconds ago was gone, replaced by a shy puppy. “You love me?” He asked. You could see uncertainty flash through his eyes.

“You’re my husband.” You replied, the doubt clear even as you said the words.

The handsome man looking down at you scoffed. “That doesn’t mean anything. You didn’t choose me. You didn’t get to have a say. I didn’t want to take advantage of our situation. I know…” he trailed off. “I know there are unfair expectations for physical relations in arranged marriages, but I swore I’d never be that kind of man, I’d never push you to do anything. I promised myself I’d never let you know how desperately I wanted you.” His eyes widened as he seemed to realise what he said as he said it.

“You’re my mate, I think.” You spoke softly, uncertain of yourself as well. You reached up and pressed your hand against his face. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back into your touch.

When he opened his eyes again, they were solid black. “Those are dangerous words, love.” He smelled your arousal on the hand that cupped his face. You hadn’t registered it was the hand previously fingering your cunt.

“I like danger.” You said despite its cheesiness. It worked. Your mate chuckled.

“You like monsters too?” He asked again. A smirk had replaced his wide eyed surprise. His hard cock pressing against your soft tummy reminded him of your current predicament. You nodded enthusiastically at his question.

“Who would have thought, my precious, little human mate would be a desperate slut for wolves.” You dipped your head at his words but he pulled your chin back up, dragging your eyes to meet his.

“I love you too, I have for a very long time.” He kissed you, long and hard. The first real kiss you’d ever shared. You felt yourself gripping him everywhere, both of your hands touching the others bodies. He squeezed your hips, fingers and claws digging into your flesh.

He nipped down your neck, not breaking the skin, but enough to leave a trail of marks. You felt his hand go to his waistband, and he groaned as he released his cock. You had known it would be big, but big didn’t even begin to describe the behemoth in front of you. You felt your face pale.

The wolf above you licked his lips. “I know you can take it. One of the reasons I like my partners to be a bit thicker, better to manhandle, eh?” He teased you.

You looked between his face and cock, and his apparent disregard of your concern just made you wetter.

“I can smell you, slut.” He looked down at you with smug eyes. “Yeah, you’ll take me alright. Even if it have to make you.” A dangerous glint flashed in his eyes, and you felt the head of his dick at your entrance.

You second guessed yourself. You started trying to protest, but he covered your mouth with one large hand. “Now now, none of that. As you said, you’re my mate. You’ll love it.”

He slowly worked his head into you, and it was already breathtaking. You felt fuller than you’d ever felt, but anxiety at his size rose even further. Before you had a chance to protest, he started pushing deeper.

He wasn’t rough, but he definitely wasn’t gentle. He fucked into you with shallow thrusts, each pushing deeper than the last, until you could feel his knot battering at your entrance. The stretch was overwhelming, but you could feel the shadow of pleasure behind it.

Once he was at his full length, minus the knot, he started fucking you in earnest. He bent your legs up and over his shoulders, and practically folded you in half. It felt amazing to be so easily manoeuvred. Any stress you’d carried about being too big for him, melted away with each desperate caress he gave you. It was like he couldn’t touch enough of you at once.

The pain from his size kept fading, but the pleasure only built. Soon you were loudly crying out with each thrust. He grunted above you. He spoke of filling you with his seed, breeding you.

You could feel your orgasm growing as his thrusts got rougher. His hand snaked up to your neck, and you watched a wicked smile cross his face. He pressed into your neck, squeezing your throat. Your hands raised to his arm, trying to pull him away. It was almost comical, your tiny fingers prying at his thick muscular arm.

You started seeing spots and panic filled you. Your husband stared directly into your eyes as you struggled beneath him.

“Good pet, you can do it, don’t worry.” His comforting words sounded like they were too far away. You felt his knot pushing against your cunt. You tried to scream, but no sound could move past his fist on your neck.

Everything collided at once. Your vision was fading and your orgasm rising in front of you when he slammed his knot deep into your pussy. You screamed, even though no sounds came out. You both came, hard. He released your throat, and peppered you with kisses while you rode out to spasms.

Hot cum poured into your battered cunt as his thrusts turned erratic and staggered. He couldn’t move much due to his knot, but he did what he could. You felt the huge pressure drag up and down the entrance of your pussy. He came for so long, longer than your entire orgasm. You were coming down while he was still filling you up. You gripped each other's bodies, sweat and saliva mixing.

He collapsed to the side, pulling you up and on top of him, his cock still wedged deep inside you. You moaned involuntarily at the movement.

“Hmmm, I hope that was better than your fingers.” He hummed, amused. You grinned down at him.

“Marginally.” You teased. He looked up at you with offence and you winked, leaning down to kiss him again. You didn’t think the excitement of that was going to wear off any time soon.

[voidgoatazzy]

Yknow what actually i have thoughts on this

A non exhaustive list of ways magic can screw up a user with overuse

[Plain text: A non exhaustive list of ways magic can screw up a user with overuse]

ELECTRICITY

Due to the nature of the nervous system and brain being a series of electrical signals to certain parts of the body, its more than like your character will have muscle spasms or tics as they approach their limit. Overusing by too far could lead to seizures, brain/nervous system damage, so on.

The obvious option of lightning scars/electricity burns.

NATURE

Plant life growing over/in the body- for example, roots growing in the circulatory system in the hands or feet or even reaching the heart, until the body's natural magic breaks it down- which may be hard when you barely have any magic reserves left.

Plants in your surroundings being... aggressive or avoidant. Plants attacking you that normally should not, because your burnt out aura is so fucking nasty to them + you're abusing the magic of nature.

WATER

Dehydration! Really. Really bad dehydration. Something water and fire would actually share! The human body is roughly 70% water last i checked, so what happens when you run out of MANA to go off of? It starts to use YOU instead as the fuel.

Potential aqua/hydrophobia (these are different things), until the body regulates itself or your character receives treatment. Or the opposite, where you cant LEAVE water or stop drinking it until you feel better, which could be hard depending on the setting

FIRE

Again dehydration! Being surrounded by fire at all times will dry you out eventually. This could lead to heatstroke/sickness in fire users especially, because of the added heat factor.

Burns, obviously! The only question is what gets effected? Fire breath affecting the throat/lungs, making it difficult to eat or drink or even breath. The hands, making any further casting or even regular usage of the hands painful. The list goes on.

Either running so hot you're steaming and burning others, or being so out of fire that you're almost FREEZING. For the latter, the magic that is killing you from overuse is also the only thing keeping you warm now. No choice but to use it until a: someone sets a fire, or b: another pyromancer takes over for you.

NECROMANCY **AND** HEALING

You are recreating life, or reshaping the remains of it. It only makes sense that this comes at the cost of some of your own life. Healers and necromancers have a higher death rate than most casters, due to their magic taking such an epic toll on their bodies that, even once they retire, they will feel the effects forever.

Speaking of: chronic pain and health issues. OP brought up healers being affected by the injuries of those they heal if they push it, but. I think of it like scurvy? Yeah you're taking on their wounds in exchange for giving them some of your own life. But you're also giving up what holds you together. Hypermobility as the body begins to give itself away, your very connective tissue and even SOUL wearing away. Necromancers who dislocate harshly as they give what pieces them together to their work, or have increasingly poor bone density and shit like that. Healers who have scars and pains that they cant remember ever getting.

AIR

Struggling to breathe and fainting from lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Your skin is so dried and cracked that you can't be touched or you start bleeding, or it feels like lemon juice any time you do heavy work.

If your ability/magic involves any form of flying, taking so many falls that you get various (sometimes very serious) injuries. Broken bones, concussions, the works.

Your magic starts to throw you around as you lose control of it. Strong dust devils whipping up fallen weapons and rubble to basically throw back at you, as if you weren't already fucked up.

You start becoming less... tangible. The air is taking you with it now.

METAL

Your armor, if you wear any, beginning to.. merge with you. Your blood, depending on your race, is FILLED with iron, after all. After a certain point, if you dont stop fighting, its all you'll ever be able to do. A living weapon or shield. A warforged of the worst kind.

Speaking of iron in the blood, blood problems! Screwing up your circulation and passing out OR WORSE during a fight! Wounds getting way worse than they could ever get naturally because of the blood magic!

AND THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!! AUGH.

I loveee fantasy settings doing magical exhaustion:

burnt out pyromancers emitting steam and smoke

tired cryomancers shivering with visible foggy breath

weary necromancers looking ill and hearing voices

frazzled healers receiving the same cuts, bruises, and injuries of their patients

[thatfrailsoul]

– If you love me, then love me from the heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious mind, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides. A message about the love that your heart is longing for. The one that you are hoping to find…

This is our third reading from our divination jukebox, inspired by possibly one of the most beautiful songs that I've ever heard - "Yağmur Yağar Taş Üstüne" by Mustafa Güzel and Batuhan Fırat (feat. Belkıs Güzel). I'm so deeply grateful for the person that suggested this song and gave us the possibility not only to discover it, but also to have such a deep and tender message through this reading. It is difficult to find the correct translation for this song, but I strongly encourage you to listen and read it, as it is simply magical in the softest way. I will leave you the links that were recommended to me here, in case you would like to listen to it. And if you would like to see a pick a pile reading inspired by your favourite song, you can discover more about how to participate here↓♡!

♪♡♪ Divination Jukebox ♪♡♪

P.s. This is my first attempt at a longer reading, so if you feel comfortable please let me know in the comments what you think of it! If you prefer the shorter ones, if there is any aspect of the reading that makes it difficult for you to read it, or in case you will take a look at the extended version of this reading, if you would prefer to have something more specific in the additional messages of our readings - I will cherish your opinion and use it to get better with each post!♡

– Pile One,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the magician, the seven of swords, the page of coins

Love… you so often consider it just a feeling. A feeling that after all these years alive you still can really connect only to your own self. To you who seems to be the only one to feel it. To give it. While all that others do is receive it from you. Giving you back some gratitude perhaps, but never something that feels like what you gave them. Nothing that really fills in that part of you that was emptied for them… Making you really wonder if perhaps you got it wrong for all this time, if what you considered love never was it. If you imagined and expected it to be more, made it be more. Giving others much more than any person could ever give you in return, more than you ever should've done…

All that attention, that care, that genuine dedication that you put in, time after time, for every soul that was close, going out of your way to be there, right by their side for whatever might come… But still standing alone when facing your hardships, your difficult moments. Only you on the first line, out there in the cold, just you against this world… You genuinely never thought that this is what love would be. You expected something different from what you always received from others before. A complete opposite of having to do everything on your own, of that fear of what will happen to you if one day things in your life won't work anymore. You thought that it should be different from that because you know for sure that all those years of struggle alone never had even a bit of love in them, not from the people that were all that time around and close to you, but never did anything to help you, apart from telling you that this is how it works and that you should grow and take care of yourself on your own.

You alway imagined it, in those dark and painful nights, a hug, a caressing hand, a soft voice that assures you that everything will be okay, that it won't be forever this way, that you are not alone but you will always have them… So you did your best to be deserving, manifesting those tender and loving ways through your own self. Through the way you looked after others, the way you cared for them. Not only knowing that this is the right way to treat others, the way you genuinely want to be, but that it will be also worth it, that you will one day feel the love you gave, through others that will do the same… But it never came. You never saw your reflection in them, you never saw that part of your heart that you gave away being nourished and taken care of… it was always mostly just appreciated in the moment. And forgotten. Or worst, taken advantage of by expecting or asking more. So after all these tears, all the days dedicated to others instead of yourself, all your prayers for help and support, just a little comfort, that you never received because they are too busy to take a moment to give you back that love that you never declined them…. You started to think that you are in the wrong. That the love you always waited for is just a dream that the real concept of love can’t live up to. No matter how much you can look for it or want it. It is simply not something possible. And you are asking for too much.

{ What this is all for }

the judgement, the ace of swords, the lovers

This world, this life in general… has a really unique way of helping us to learn, of guiding us in or through the right direction and path, of letting us know that everything will be alright… Their language is so different from ours that we really struggle to understand it, those words that come in the form of pure feelings directly from within us. The ones that we should trust the most but never do so. Especially when it comes to love, something that we so much idealise, something that we have so much desire for.

Your heart is so sincerely tired, it went through so many betrayals and wounds inflicted by those that you tried to love. To the point that it simply feels that heaviness, that weight of this experience that you never really wanted to begin with. So you feel like you are ready for something else, for that love that you did all of this for, if it even exists at all. But are you really sure of it..? Of knowing so well the person that you would like to have by your side each day, their character, their behaviour, their values? Are you sure that you really did look for them and not just anyone who seemed to be able to love? Are you sure that you really know your worth and the one of your love, how one must love you in order to really give you all that your heart needs and wants? Or did you think that you knew it before, and now you are settling for much less than you are deserving of, because of the overwhelming loneliness and fear that it will be this way for the rest of your days unless you accept whatever one gives you in return? Are you sure that you are remaining loyal to your own self and your soul, instead of trying to “sell” it to whoever is close and good enough?

Because, even though perhaps you are not doing it consciously, but you are changing. Little by little. Not in terms of who you are, but in the ones of who you allow others to consider you. Leaving it up to them to decide how much you deserve, what is the worth of your love and care that you give them after letting them in, where only the most sincere, genuine and trustworthy should belong. You just give them your all. Every single time. Without any limit or hesitation. Not even when all that you receive is another rude phrase, some judgement, coldness and distance once they got up and healed thanks to your love. You just do it. For everyone. Not choosing carefully, but treating every soul as the right one. And not in a good sense. Instead, you are not listening anymore to your own intuition or feelings, not trusting your own mind that recognises the things that are too off. You are just rushing in this hunt for “the one” as the time passes and you feel more and more scared and alone. You are throwing yourself at every possible connection, all in, wandering each time that it goes wrong what you did too little or too much of. And not realising anymore that it is not about how you love, if it is in the right way or the wrong one… But rather who you choose, even force yourself, to love. And how they are simply not the right one, no matter how much you sacrifice of your own values and preferences, just to make them fit in the place that it is not theirs to hold.

All these bad endings, failures, mistakes that you consider yours to be responsible for… Are just a natural consequence of you settling for less than you really desire and need in order to feel loved. All that sadness, that loneliness… are only your subconscious, your own heart that you willingly ignored at first, but that after some time managed to be heard by you, letting you know that the way you are treated, the crumbs that you accept, will never truly be enough.

Those endings, those coincidences that are never in your favour, those interferences in your connections from the outside world… are just its efforts to protect you and communicate with you, trying to show you that refusing your own standards is not what can help you find them, that right person that you can truly feel safe and understood with… Adapting to another person and changing, it is not what will make them love you like you want. It will only keep you stuck in a play pretend. Put you in situations and relationships that you won’t feel appreciated and cherished in. It will consume you from inside out, slowly but surely, just because that one time you believed more others, than your own self that always knew what was best and right for you, what you really wanted to feel and who you wanted to have with you…

The time already passed, you already got through so much. You can’t do anything about it, and it is alright. But you can do yourself a favour and listen again to your own heart, before following that overwhelming fear and anxiety of being left alone in the cold and the dark. Your heart, your love, they are unique. But not at all the only ones. There is a soul, out there, that is your perfect reflection, someone who resonates so much with your ways of feeling love. And you can and will find them. The moment you stop seeing all that happened and you went through as the mistakes you made, ways that you can be better by being more or less… And start to see them as simply were and when the things didn't feel right for your heart, for who you are. Because those things that you felt the lack of, or perhaps as though it is just too much, are the ones that you need to hold onto, to look for in others. Instead of ignoring them, just so you can fit in the perfect version of love of someone and they can accept you, even though you are not theirs to love…

Although it seems so easy to do through words… We know too well that sometimes it is not enough to just choose to listen to our heart more. It is not always enough when we, in a certain way, forget its language, when we are not able anymore to comprehend it and separate it from the voice of our mind that we learned to follow… For this reason, there is an additional message for you, if you want to, in our extended version of this reading. What you need to know and remember as you continue on this journey, in this search of the right person for you, but also of the confidence and trust in your own heart, that will be the things that will change everything about the situation in which you are now.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Two,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the wheel of fortune, the sun, the devil

It happened so many times… So often you felt overwhelmed, completely overtaken, by the life of someone you loved… Their problems, their difficulties, their fears that became yours. Yours to resolve, yours to take care of, yours to endure, even though you never could really influence them, not the things that depended on their actions, their decisions. Not when it was something that was purely theirs to create, destroy and live… It happened so many times, truly. You felt so often the urge to be there for someone, just because you knew them, just because you saw their struggle and couldn't help but to try to save them. Because this is what everyone deserves, yes… But with those that had a special place in your heart, those that you felt so close to you, so needed as the air you breathe, there never was a chance for you to say no. Not when your heart so ardently fought for them each day, no matter if it was your battle, your victory to take or not.

One by one they took a part of your life from you, gladly accepting your love, your support and help. And leaving it all to you, to your heart and mind that never were supposed to live so many lives, go through so many situations and emotions, bear so many consequences that were coming from actions that simply weren't yours. And they took it from you. That time and energy, the courage and strength that otherwise would have gone to you, to your own healing, growth and protection. They took it all from you and, worst of all, they were able to do so thanks to you. You who gave it to them, all that you had, in the name of the love that you felt. You that not even once regretted it. Not in the moment at least…

They took so much from you, making you get used to it, to have so little, to give away so much… That now, for once, you want to find someone different. Someone who will not take advantage of your heart. Someone who will understand that, no matter how much you want and try, it is not the right thing to leave it all up to you, to handle their life… Someone who, for once, just knows more, knows better. Someone who can teach you, gently, softly, as they protect you from your own self, from your own urge to disintegrate yourself for the happiness and safety of someone else.

For once… you want to be overwhelmed by someone's joy, their hope, their desire to be here and to live this life. Their strength to choose to see the best aspects of the things. Their strength to be patient, to have faith, to believe that everything will work out in the end. For once you want to receive that strength, not to give it away. For once you want to be protected, guided, as you trust someone who doesn't expect you to lead the way out of the darkness of their days…

It might sound selfish to some, so entitled to look for someone who has it all figured out, who has better and more control of their life… But you are simply tired. And a little lost, if one can say the truth. Tired of figuring everything out constantly, keeping others above the water, as they push you down, never thinking of the air they are taking away from you. It’s not about an easier life, about receiving constant help or guidance, leaving it up to others to make the choice for you… It is about just wanting to have something that is left for your own self too. A little time, a little love, that you can give yourself without being afraid that in the meantime someone would get upset or hurt. You just want to be able to take care of yourself too, not only of those that you love, of your connections, of your situations, that seem to be destroyed each moment you are not looking after them. You just want to have someone that is by your side, living their life, instead of living yours that becomes so scarily about them, their necessities, their dreams, their worry and losses. You just want someone to learn from, or together, how to live this life in the most right and healthy, loving way. Not to teach it. While you yourself don't have any idea of how you are still here, how you made it until now every day.

{ Will you ever find someone like them }

the justice, the eight of wands, the queen of wands

This new and almost desperate desire in your heart now, might feel a lot like frustration, the last realisation of how things should've been when everything already happened, when it is too late to change them… But instead of a tragic end, it is more of a hopeful and promising beginning. The one that you are creating with your each thought, with each moment of understanding of what it is that you really want to feel, when sharing your love. The taste of it, the feeling, the emotions it can give you. With each found answer in your heart you are changing your life, much more than you expect now. Because it really is all about your choices. Your decision of who you will be accepting into your life from now on.

There is a part of you that is growing, getting stronger, preparing to be vigilant and serious about its duty: the one to protect your heart. One little thought created by the tiredness, the sadness of all that you endured… was enough to move the waves of the whole world, of the reality around you. Of who will be brought right to you, and who will be pulled back, not being the right ones. Changing your connections one step, one person at a time. Giving you back the right to decide for yourself, making you remember that you can in fact do it, you can choose the ones dear to your heart.

And it won’t be delusion, entitlement, selfishness, or any sort of limit that you will put on your heart… It will be just you, all grown up, who will now know that it is okay to not take it all on yourself, whatever and whoever comes, because of the fear of what not doing it will cause. It will be your understanding that people can and will make it through on their own, even if they are so afraid or feel incapable of facing their life right now. And it will be also your acceptance that not every story you hear is yours to live, to feel, to make sure it has a good ending. Not everyone is yours to protect and help. Not everyone has the right to come before your own self.

It might be a change that will take its time to settle in, especially in your heart that is just so full of love. Love that you didn't give yourself for so long, pouring it all in the needing hands of those by your side. But it will happen. It will feel safe and right, to allow yourself to choose how much the realities of others influence your life. And as you will go through it, as you will seek that courage and strength… It will be enough to remember that everything will be okay. Even in those moments of uncertainty, it will be enough to hold on tight to the message that we will receive, if you want to, in the extended version of this reading. A message about how you can and will change your life.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Three,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the ten of wands, the star, the death

It is so difficult to need to explain yourself, your actions, your urges, your reactions. It is tiring to open up your mind and your heart sharing them with others, again and again. Just for them to not understand it, to not pay the slightest of attention, to not take it seriously, all those things that are still consuming your soul… It just feels so useless to go through it, to come out of your comfort zone so hopeful that they would be that right person… only to see them walk away, who scared, who uncomfortable, who deluded or bored. Leaving you feeling like a poor seller who is unable to demonstrate the worth of your broken, lived, soul. When you don't even want to do it in the first place. When it is so ridiculous that you need constantly and so fiercely to defend or explain your wounds, as if they didn't already hurt enough.

It just consumes you. Consumes your every desire to go out there, interact and try to connect with people, creating with such dedication a relationship that - you know it too well - will just be destroyed. By your own past, your own frail soul that is too difficult for others to manage, to use or control. Too delicate to do anything with it without hurting it more.

Deep down you know that not every single person you met was truly so evil at their core. But it still hurts you like hell, being rejected, just put aside, simply because of the way you feel so strongly and deeply every detail about this world. Just because you have more depth to your feelings, more power to the emotions that simply overwhelm you, good or bad, every single bit of them that fills you whole. And that you welcome and feel completely, still remembering how cold and dark it was when there weren't any emotions in you at all.

It just would've been much easier, for once, to not have the need to defend yourself, the way you became. If for once the one in front of you focused on who you are now, and not on who you were or who you could become if only you suppress your soul. Because you changed, yes, and it might be sad to not have that spark that others adored so much about you anymore. But the you who survived still and always deserves the same admiration and love, perhaps even more, after all that you were able to endure. This you who is so different is still you. The you who gave you the strength and courage to face it all. The you who shouldn't at all be forced to explain yourself to those that can't even do one thing: just listen to you, hear you truly, at least for once.

Because it is not so difficult, in the end, to just accept someone and love them for the way they are, without any if or but. You know it well, because you always did it and always do with everyone that is close to you. But while they can be themselves, knowing that they will be truly safe with you, their every wound that will be taken care of without any judgement or expectation to receive something in return… You are always asked to be less or more. To hide your pain, to be more joyful. To not react too much to the things that hurt you. To, instead, be more understanding and patient, accepting, of the ways of others. Even though they never tolerate yours.

So you remain here, among so many of them but still feeling so lonely, so trapped, exactly like it used to feel before. You still are being hurt, even though you had so much courage in not hiding yourself, your scars. Even though you learned to have the needed strength to stand your ground when others didn't see that they were stepping on your heart… And you still hope. That one day, somewhere and someone, for once will just feel drawn to you. Not a memory of you or your potential change. Just someone who, for once, is gentle and kind in their ways. Not because you asked them to, not because they were forced by your tears… But just because they are connected enough to their own heart. Enough to recognise the painfully familiar stories behind your tired and scared eyes. Just one person, just one single time would be enough. Just one single moment in which you would feel loved and cherished the way you are, even with all those fears and doubts that everyone has always something to say about. Just one true and genuine connection. One single chance for your heart to find again the hope that you, exactly the way you are now after all your battles, not less not more, will be enough.

{ You are not in the wrong }

the page of coins, the strength, the six of cups

Finally standing up for yourself, taking your defence, pushing back those that don't make you anymore feel safe… it took a lot of courage, especially when every decision that was already hard enough was also met with judgement, with pure rage, just because for once you weren't ready to be there for someone else. But while you thought that the worst part will be this, finding the strength to prioritise yourself, the most difficult part revealed itself to be resisting the urge to take all your words back, bowing your head, surrendering to discourses of others about how you shouldn't ever do that again, and coming back to your old and consumed self, asking it to endure it once again. But this time with the full awareness of how it is wrong, to give away so much of you, remaining with so little that it is never enough to take care of your own heart and mind…

You are resisting it now with all your strength, but the single thought that they might be right, that you are indeed acting too selfishly, is already enough to shake you to your core, to fill you with the pure terror that you might be becoming one of those that hurt you, coming down to their level without realising what you've done.

But you are not. I promise you. There is nothing wrong in putting yourself first for once. There are no mistakes when you are acting from your heart, from the pure desire to protect yourself now that you are realising that it all just has been too much. You are not the villain here, even if perhaps there isn't one among them either. There is no evil in knowing what you deserve and want, and not accepting nothing less from others, even if they so perfectly mask it with words like “It is the way I love”, “This is the best for you, the best you can ever find or hope for”...

You’ve endured a lot, so much that it is truly non conceivable and admissible that someone belittles it. That someone doesn't give it the importance and incredibly powerful and heart wrenching meaning that you surviving all of that holds. Don't stop for them, for their fears that you will change. Because it has already happened, in the good and in the bad. And if someone can't accept and respect the new you, if they, even in the name of their love, can't accept you… then it is okay. There will be someone else. Someone else who will meet you, get to know you, and learn to appreciate and cherish you for the way you are now, not a memory of who you were.

It might be sad to let go of some people, to lose some connections. It might be frustrating to see their absolute conviction that you are the one in the wrong… But you are tired now, you feel weak after needing to fight against them again and again just to protect yourself… so don't waste your last remaining energy on them, on proving them wrong when they already ended this story as it is more convenient for them in their head. Let them go. Let them be. Not to allow them to think that they are right. But for your own self and to give you that space and time to rest and recover, to take care of yourself.

This world is vast, there are so many of us. Remaining now for a moment alone… doesn't at all condemn you to have all the days of your life lonely and cold. It is just a phase, just a precious moment that will sign a new step in your growth, in how much you consider your own worth and protect yourself at all costs. People come and go. Some are good and some are not. But you are unique, you are the only one you have, the most important person that you need to love and take care of. Even if it means to not accept the love of others, simply because it is so different from what you are longing for. Even if it means to reject the company that you so much want, because they never offer it genuinely but only when it is so convenient and needed for them.

Times will change, you'll start new journeys, go through different paths that will align with others, new and completely different persons. And you'll create new connections, better ones. Better because of the ways and motives of those that will come closer. Better because you will be much more rested, healed and confident after this focus on yourself and this pause. Better because there won't be any play pretend, endurance or feelings that will be ignored. It will be better. Simply because you will learn from your mistakes, you will grow. And so will those that you will let go of, but not at your own expense and endurance of the way your heart hurts for them. Because they might not realise it now, they might be so convinced that you are the one hurting them… but you are making the best decision not only for your own self, but even for them. You are giving all of you a new chance. A chance that you for sure will take and use it to nourish a new beginning in your life, new connections that will love you, cherish you, protect you at all costs. Exactly like it should be between truly loving souls.

And if it feels still a little too overwhelming, a little too scary and unsure, the decision to put yourself first… There is a little message about the future, at what it holds, in our extended version of this reading, right here, if you want or feel the need to hear more.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

_

[thetarotbaddie111]

your future partner's personality (pick-a-card reading - detailed)

I II III

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(how to pick a card? observe the given image and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the image based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the pile you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates!)

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۶ৎ pile I۶ৎ

what are their positive traits?

the first positive trait im getting here is that your future partner likes to plan things before carrying out an action. they are someone who thinks logically and they like to keep things in order. they are also very hard working and they like to take the difficult route instead of the easy way because they believe that there are a lot of lessons they can learn if they take the tough path. they are very good with decision making and also very calculated. they like to plan, organise and contemplate before taking an action and honestly this is a good quality because they avoid doing anything impulsively. they have a free spirit and i see that they like to travel or at least go out and roam around. they are very pure and they prefer doing things their own way, and majority of the time it works out for them.

what are their negative traits?

they are controlling and demanding. they like it when people obey them. they come off as someone who is very goal-oriented and hence they can be a workaholic or majority of the time they are focused on work instead of their personal life. they also might seem pretty happy but they are actually struggling with something. they seem to be putting on a very happy facade and an “i’ve got this attitude” but how they are actually feeling is a complete opposite of that. they seem like someone who is very focused on work (literally, ‘work’ here is such a strong word here because that's all they think about). their thoughts are filled with expanding their work or business and maybe this is why they are not very happy - maybe things are not going according to their plan. but here's the thing- they actually seem to be doing pretty well when it comes to their work. as in the outcome of their hard work is positive, but they’re dissatisfied with it. they are dissatisfied with themselves. it seems like they have very high expectations implied on themselves.

what would people say about them?

your future partner seems like someone who has a variety of options when it comes to work and this is because they have worked hard for it. like people know they have worked hard to be in the place they are now. they seem like they come from a fairly decent background but they do not take advantage of this privilege and they’ve actually worked on themselves and brought themselves on top of the ladder because of their dedication and hardwork. people will also say that your future partner hates, and by hates - i mean HATES procrastinating and they avoid sitting and slagging off in one place. they like to take action and move forward. they might have also ‘changed’. there has been some sort of transformation in their life and people will say that your future partner has changed for the better. but there also seems to be some sort of evident sadness that people can easily pick up on when it comes to your person. your person seems like they’re dissatisfied with their work (as mentioned before) and they put on a happy facade, but people notice that they are not happy. but they’re trying to work on this. people will also see them as someone who is very wealthy.

what are their fears and worries?

they like to keep a neutral stance and peace with people and they fear that this neutral ground will be broken. they do not like arguing with people. they avoid getting involved in any sort of conflict with people. they also fear that the world which they have built for themselves will be broken down because they have put in a lot of hard work and effort to be standing where they are right now. they also fear that they might not be in touch with their intuition. they seem like someone who is very intuitive and when they feel like they are not in touch with their intuition, they feel anxious. as mentioned in the start, they are someone who thinks a lot before taking an action and sometimes they fear that they might make an impulsive decision. they fear that if they make an impulsive decision, the bridge that they have built for themselves might shatter and crumble down. they also seem like they’re holding a ‘secret’, im not sure what it is but then they are scared that it might be revealed and it might ruin their image.

what is their inner conflict?

they feel like they are taking too much rest and they feel like they are losing themselves if they take out time for themselves (this is not healthy at all). they will always be thinking about work and they feel like if they take a day off for themselves - they might be missing out and falling behind.

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۶ৎ pile II۶ৎ

what are their positive traits?

they’re very curious in nature and they have a lot of creativity. they also treat people equally. they believe that everyone has the right to express themselves and they like it when people are open about their feelings to them or when people are open about things that bother them. they are someone who likes to focus on the future rather than being in the present, so they like to build things that will help them settle down in the future. they are also someone who likes to discover things. they like to try out new things and they have a very ‘sunshine’ energy - almost like a golden retriever energy. they might also like to travel a lot.

what are their negative traits?

they lack patience. they want things to come at hand. they want things to easily come to them without putting in much effort. they also seem like someone who might be ‘sneaky’ or someone who actually kind of tricks people into getting things done. they seem like they gaslight people into getting things done and they also think highly of themselves. even though they believe that everyone needs to be treated equally, this ‘theory’ of theirs does not apply when it regards them. they like to think highly of themselves and might be a little delusional.

what would people say about them?

people see them as someone who might be struggling financially. they seem like they talk over others - internally. what i mean by ‘internally’ here is that they do not like what other people tell them to do but will hear them out. for example, if someone tells them they need to sign a paper for something, they will do it (or sometimes they will not) - but they will bad mouth that person in their mind - because they do not like it when someone tells them what to do. they also seem like someone who is very argumentative and stubborn. they tend to get into frequent fights with people. majority of the time they seem to win but the parties that are affected seem to be at a greater loss here. they might feel bad towards the person but at the end of the day they are happy they won. people also find them very good-looking and they take this to their advantage. they let their looks do the talk, basically.

what are their fears and worries?

your future partner is very scared of change. they are comfortable in the ‘clothing’ or the position they are in right now. they fear that they might not live the life they desire. they are scared that the future will not be easy for them. they are scared of loss or losing things - it can be materialistic things or relationships (romantic or platonic). they are scared of abandonment and rejection as well.

i feel like the energy in pile two is all over the place. i had a difficult time understanding and conveying some messages. i was confused and tried to read the cards over and over again and even had to go back to the cards and look up their meanings. so after some time of trying to figure things out, i could come down to one conclusion.

your person believe that everyone needs to be treated equally and everyone needs to express themselves openly without any judgement. but at the same time when it comes to them, this theory is not valid. like when they are talking, they want to sound superior than others or they want to sound better than others and they might also dismiss other peoples feelings and opinions but then they preach that everyone should be treated equally and everyone should be treated nicely. however, they do not like it when someone tries to overpower them or look better than them because they want to look the ‘best’. (very insecure energy - please keep an eye out for this)

what is their inner conflict?

they are in a constant battle with themselves because they feel like they are not building the life they desire and they are iffy about the fact that they might not be able to make enough money or profit in the future that will help them lead a nice, easy life. their inner conflicts state that they have a fear of not being successful or financially independent in the future.

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۶ৎ pile III۶ৎ

what are their positive traits?

your future partner seems like a very lucky person. it actually looks like the universe is in their favour. their karma is good and they have a lot of opportunities. the universe is rewarding them for their good karma. they might be someone who is going through a spiritual awakening and they are trying to be in touch with their inner-self and this has helped them find their true self. wealth is not an issue for them - they seem pretty well off. i wouldn't be surprised if they are very giving. as in, they like to donate to charities or they like to take care of underprivileged children. they also think about long term goals. they like to have a very stable life and future, and they also seem like someone who would like to start a family of their own. they are also very protective and have good strength (maybe they work out regularly). they are good at handling situations and if there is some sort of conflict, they are the type of person who knows what to say and when to say things so that it can calm everyone down. they are someone who stands their ground and knows that they are right. some people like to believe that they are right even though sometimes they will be wrong, but your future partner knows that they are right because they are an intelligent individual. they are someone who has graduated from one of the best universities because the intelligence which they possess is actually very impressive (or maybe it could be shaped by experience).

what are their negative traits?

your future partner might be impulsive. they are also very conflicting - as in like they don't like it or they feel threatened if someone challenges their abilities or their intelligence. they sometimes are blind to the opportunities in front of them. sometimes they do not fully believe that they deserve an opportunity because they constantly devalue themselves. as mentioned before in terms of their spiritual growth, they are spending too much time in this aspect. like the universe has given them the answer they want but they’re still spending time - trying to find their ‘inner-self’, which is actually wasting a lot of time for them. they feel like time is not doing justice to them.

what would people say about them?

people will perceive your future partner as someone who is secretive. people see them as loving, nurturing and someone who likes kids. people also view them as family oriented. probably your person would like to start a family of their own. people view them as someone who does not question their own capabilities. they might be someone who makes impulsive decisions and they might be a little fast moving - basically likes to get things done quickly. but their impulsive decisions does not seem like it would hurt them in a negative way. people view them as someone who is actually pretty innocent and pure and someone who also possesses a lot of intelligence.

what are their fears and worries?

they feel like the intelligence which they have will not persist for long because of AI (artificial intelligence - i don't know why im picking on that). as i said before, they have educated and built themselves to be in the position they are in right now but because of AI, they feel like their hard work is going to be a waste in the coming future.

what is their inner conflict?

they might be keeping their possessions or their knowledge very close to themselves (secretive) because they are scared of losing it. they are basically paranoid of what the future might hold for them.

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hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

(note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

[liloinkoink]

do you wanna try your luck at the wild life session 5 trivia questions?

well now you can! i gathered all the questions we came up with into a pair of google forms so that you guys can try your hand at the same trivia questions the CCs did!

quizmaster's questions from session 5

we tried to have a good amount of questions for every player and season. we also tried to include only questions we thought at least one person would remember the answer to, especially things we'd seen them bring up recently in their own videos or streams, or big moments that would appear in fanart/animatics that we thought they'd be more likely to remember from seeing in those. we also aimed to include silly questions/answers, or questions/answers we thought people would find entertaining. we wanted players to be able to go to each other and ask each other for help on questions they didnt know the answer to!

but wait! there's more! we also have a form for all the questions which didn't make the cut!

rejected questions

the rejected questions didn't make it due to either being too difficult/niche or being something we did not think any creators would remember, being about a player we already had too many questions for in order to make room for questions about other players, being "stat" or number questions (i.e., "how many times did X die of Y cause?"), having too many names involved in the question or answer (making it hard for players to know who to ask for help), the questions just being wordy, or not being particularly entertaining. fair warning, the rejected questions also were not all fact checked as well as the actual episode questions were, as they didn't go into the actual session

originally our questions were a bit more difficult (we had a lot of questions we didn't necessarily think anyone would remember the answer to), but we were asked to tone it down and have mercy after the unexpectedly high amount of snail carnage (hence why the forms are jokingly names "easy version" and "hard version")

anyway, huge thanks to the rest of the trivia team, @cherrifire, @xmaruu11, @hopepetal, @applestruda, @ink-ghoul, and @cocoabats !!! working with all of you was super fun! and thanks so much to Grian for trusting us with this! this whole thing was a super cool experience and i'm thrilled with how much everyone likes the questions!

[purple-is-great]

I completely understand @heroicspiritcollins 's criticism and I'm not interested in defending Klingon and Valyrian. However as a linguistics student interested in digital linguistics I do want to share my take on this subject

Even for languages bigger than Italian there aren't really that many (at least accurate) dialect translators, because they require massive amounts of linguistic information. The trouble with dialects is that they're not standardised, so we don't have big corpuses of text (and often people don't write in dialects, only speak) to feed to neural networks, and we don't have grammars and comprehensive wordlists (because when you have a form of language used more widely in speech than writing, gathering enough information and getting it in usable form takes a ton of labour and costs a lot) to be used in teaching or making a more rule-based translator

But then if we compare a living, breathing and multi-dimensional dialect to a constructed language, it turns out it's a lot simpler to teach someone that since the person creating the language wrote up a full grammar that can cover every possible use case and every exception they decided to put into the language. How do you create a perfectly comprehensive grammar like that for a dialect that's ever so slightly different in each town and varies by speaker?

I remember when Duolingo launched the Yiddish course they'd worked really really hard to decide which dialect to teach since there is no standardising body for Yiddish. That takes work and it takes money and it's full of very very difficult choices that I'm sure are very difficult to all the people who's dialect doesn't get represented by the Duolingo course, but they are decisions that have to be made when creating learning materials or translation software for any non-standardised language form

european italians when italian americans have their own pronunciations & spellings because we are a linguistically isolated diaspora & most of our families spoke regional dialects instead of standard italian when they immigrated anyways:

[wallowslistener]

hotch smiling? never. ೨ৎ a. hotchner x reader

𐙚˚ aaron hotchner x fem!reader. fluff. 0.6k words.

✦ aaron has always been the definition of serious. even among the most stoic in the fbi, he’s known for his unwavering dedication to the job, rarely showing emotion or letting his guard down. he’s a leader, and leaders can’t afford to be distracted by the lighter things in life. smiling, laughing, those were luxuries, not necessities.

that’s why it was so strange when he met you.

it started out like any other case. you were brought in as a liaison for a local investigation, your expertise needed to help the bau crack a difficult profile. hotch appreciated your work ethic right away, how focused and meticulous you were, just like him. but there was something else, something he hadn’t noticed in a long time. the way you carried yourself, the lightheartedness you brought to the job, even when the weight of the cases was unbearable.

at first, he tried to keep his distance. he always did. it was easier that way. but somehow, without meaning to, you broke through.

one afternoon, while the team was poring over crime scene photos and victim profiles, you cracked a subtle joke about the chaos of the case files. it wasn’t even that funny, but it was enough to make spencer smile, which wasn’t an unusual sight. what was unusual was that hotch, sitting across from you, didn’t just smile, he chuckled. the room went silent for a beat, everyone’s heads snapping in his direction, including yours.

you looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. "did i... just make you laugh?"

hotch cleared his throat, instantly returning to his serious demeanor, but the damage was done. his face had softened in a way that none of them had seen in years.

"let’s get back to the case," he said, but you could see the faint trace of a smirk lingering at the corner of his mouth.

after that, things started to shift between you. whenever the stress of the job became overwhelming, you had a way of lightening the mood, just enough to remind him that there was life outside of the darkness they faced every day. he didn’t laugh often, old habits die hard, but he started to smile more around you. little things—your quick wit, your subtle gestures of support—made him feel something he hadn’t allowed himself to in a long time: happiness.

one night, after a long and particularly grueling case, the team was ready to collapse. everyone was exhausted, but you caught hotch’s eye and gave him a small, tired smile. "hey, we got through it. you don’t always have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you know."

he gave a slight nod, but his eyes softened in a way that felt more intimate than any words could express. "i’ve gotten used to it."

"but you don’t have to do it alone," you replied, your voice gentle.

for the first time in years, aaron hotchner let himself feel vulnerable, even if just for a moment. "i’m starting to realize that."

there, in the quiet of the bullpen, it was just the two of you. no case, no tragedy, just an unspoken connection. and for the first time in a long time, hotch smiled. not a fleeting, half hearted one, but a real, genuine smile, just for you.

and from that moment on, everyone noticed. he was still serious, still focused, but there was a new lightness in his step when you were around, a subtle shift that made him more human, more open.

because you’d done something no one else had managed: you’d given him a reason to smile again.

[thesilmarillionblog]

WITH YOU, FOREVER

Soldier Boy x Reader

soldier boy being a baby boy dad, mommy reader, fluff, sweet, breastfeeding, baby boi is a supe, protective soldier boy, soft

Word Count: 3515

A/N: English is not my first language.

You can read this one-shot as my other work ANOTHER LIFE's sequel. But you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

While you were busy making dinner, you watched your little son, Jake, who was deeply interested in the TV cartoon and making noises that seemed to be a sign he was trying to communicate with the characters. You made an effort to get his attention, smiling to yourself, but he didn't look at you.

You and Ben thought that it would be best for you to take a break from work for a while because you had just given birth to him seven months ago, which was really difficult to endure, and you were still recovering. Actually, you almost died in childbirth. Thus, you had no intention of working for a while. Ben was happy when you informed him that you weren't willing to go back to work. You didn't have that energy. Furthermore, your only thought was to care for your infant right now. Additionally, you were advised to take a lot of rest, so you didn't voice any complaints about it.

Of course, if your son weren't as supe as his father, caring for him would be simpler. To your surprise, though, he hasn't displayed any signs of immense strength since birth. Still, you had no idea how to deal with him if his abilities suddenly surfaced. The problem was that you couldn't give him breastfeeding properly. You were warned that he may unintentionally tear off your nipple in an attempt to obtain more milk. Jake was built different after all, and he needed more milk. Ben was there to comfort you and tell you that you were doing well, which was a relief as you felt depressed and you felt like you were already failing.

At first, you didn't like the idea of him being a supe, but now you were happy that he had his strength. You felt concerned every time he attempted to do something that would injure him, even though you knew you shouldn't be. Yet, you were still protective over him; there was no need to deny.

Ben, though, was different. He was always keeping an eye on him, and although Jake was enjoying himself with his small toys, Ben was prepared to step in if something went wrong. Ben was also quite cheerful and energetic after Jake was born. With all the work in Vought, he felt more at ease and less nervous. His happiness was apparent, especially since Jake was also full of energy. Jake handled Ben's supe strength pretty well whenever Ben challenged him a little. 

Of course, Jake became tired of his father's kisses and hugs at times. As if he were the infant, Ben demanded all of his attention to himself.

You had just finished setting the table when you heard Ben enter. He said, “Daddy's home,” grinning slyly. As soon as he planted a strong, powerful kiss on your lips, his powerful arms found your waist and pressed your body to his. His tongue instantly dominated yours, stopping you before you could protest about how late he was.

There were moments when you felt a bit uncomfortable with your postpartum weight, but Ben didn't care and, on the contrary, had been behaving more aroused lately. He always had his palms on your ass, just like now. It didn't hurt at all, but your ass had some bruises. In fact, watching Ben act a little kinky was thrilling. 

“It was so hectic today in Vought; I couldn't give you a proper call, you know,” he continued quickly, sounding apologetic. You crushed your body into his as his powerful hands continued to squeeze your ass. He muttered, “Do you have an idea how much I missed you?”

His hardness against his jeans was palpable. His energy for sex was something else too. You didn't have sex for three months after giving birth, which was an especially difficult period for Ben, even though he never complained. You knew he was kind of traumatized because he almost lost you. However, because you recovered and felt more comfortable lately, the sex was even better than it had been. Of course, it would be nice if Jake could sleep and let you have your fun. When you or Ben tried to put him to sleep, he was sort of battling with you. When Ben tried his hardest to put him to sleep, as if he understood his father's intention and wanted to get under his skin, you could tell he was really struggling to stay awake just to make his dad annoyed.

“I could tell something else missed me too,” you said with a chuckle.

Ben's smile turned into a smirk, but your gaze shifted to the floor before he could continue. Jake was so excited that he was muttering and using his little hands to pull Ben's pants. He had crawled swiftly because he was still unable to walk and was unable to stand without clinging to Ben's trousers.

Ben's smile widened when he kissed you firmly once again, and he lifted Jake off the ground with a growl, causing him to giggle as he kissed him on his tummy. “How's my strong little eagle doing, huh?” Ben inquired while continuing to attack Jake's stomach as he could see he was having so much fun.

Jake was feeling a little stressed these days because they couldn't spend much time together because Ben had been working so much. Ben and you both guessed that it must have something to do with the Supe thing. Considering his tiny fingers were on Ben's chest most of the time, Jake adored the warmth that came from it, and he was delighted when his father got to spend time with him. 

“Did you upset your mommy? No?” Ben asked, continuing to kiss him. 

You said, “He's been a little naughty today,” and removed his socks, nearly dropping them to the ground. Jake joyfully moved his legs in relief. 

You let out a sigh. “He really enjoys getting undressed. He obviously took that from you, Ben.”

Ben grinned proudly and said, “Of course he did,” in agreement. “Just like his daddy, he will be attractive, hot, and tough. Right?”

“Not with a massive ego like yours, hopefully.”

He kissed you again after giving you a little spank on the ass and telling you that you should be punished for saying that. Ben changed his clothes, and when he returned, he filled his glass with whiskey. You removed Jake from Ben's arms and used the baby's bottle to feed him while the three of you sat down at the table. As he ate the steak that was put in front of him, he kept playing with Jake's feet. When you asked Ben how things were doing with Butcher and Annie, Jake turned his mouth away and refused the bottle, making you inhale deeply.

With a heavy sigh, you both turned to face him and whispered, “Come on.” You struggled to feed him all day. “I know you are hungry.” 

Ben said, “Maybe he's full,” as he observed his son refusing to drink milk. 

“No way,” you replied, worried about Jake's discomfort, particularly today, because he didn't even drink from the bottle properly. “He's been like this for the last few days. Today, he's even more stubborn.”

Jake was alarmed a little between your arms when he scented the milk coming out of your breaths, just as Ben was going to propose that you try feeding him himself. Again, you were leaking. It felt as though milk filled your entire chest, even though you were continuously filling all the bottles. Given that Jake was a Supe baby and drank more milk than a typical baby, it was obviously a positive thing, but because he was acting this way in the final days, you began to leak, exactly like you did in the first few months.

Although you knew it was impossible, you still wanted to breastfeed him properly. Watching his little hands touch your breasts and watching him gaze at you expectantly hurt.

You pressed the tip of the bottle to his lips and said, "Come on," but Jake pulled his head away stubbornly.

His tiny fingers tugged your blouse between gentle mumbles, trying to free one of your milk-leaking breasts, giving you the signal. You were aware of the risks, so it was agonizing for you when his little fingers lingered on your blouse and his green eyes begged you. You already had a hard time rejecting him and giving him food from a bottle. With a sigh, you continued to gently press the bottle's tip on his lips.

When Ben noticed his son excitedly wiggling his feet and watching the milk drip from your breaths, he stopped eating and attempted to distract him by playing with his small hands while you battled to feed him. 

Ben finally remarked, “He wasn't like this before,” expressing surprise at his son's persistent attempts to grasp your nipple while lowering your blouse. 

“Yeah,” you answered startledly. “He wants the milk straight from the source nowadays.” 

Ben chuckled as Jake was able to lower your top and reveal one of your milk-filled tits, causing your baby's eyes to widen and his entire body to shift between your arms with excitement. His tiny lips curled into a joyful smile. 

After placing the bottle on the table, you inhaled deeply. He couldn't possibly drink from the bottle today. He was being far too grumpy and uncomfortable. Despite your slight fear—in fact, you were terrified—you muttered, “All right.” As you placed your hungry son properly between your arms, you added, “I suppose we'll give it a try, honey.”

“Hey,” Ben interrupted you abruptly in a harsh voice. “You're not doing this. We know the risks.”

When Jake heard his father's rough voice, he jumped a little in your arms, and his eyes began to well up with tears due to his stress. He was quite sensitive to Ben's reactions, even though he didn't understand at all. 

Ben tried not to sound angry or anything, and his big hands began to gently touch his cheeks as his gaze softened. He spoke as though Jake might understand him while he toyed with his tiny hands that were stroking your breast. “All right, let's stop hurting your mommy now. Be a good boy.”

Jake neglected Ben entirely and kept mumbling before turning his chin to your breast again. From now on, you knew he was going to reject the bottle. Ben sighed deeply and made a move to take him from your arms, but Jake's face reddened, and he started crying uncontrollably as soon as he was taken from your arms and he lost contact with your breast.

In between sweet words, Ben tried to feed him while holding onto the bottle. But Jake was much more irritated when he felt it on his lips again immediately after his rejections, and he swiftly pushed it away from Ben's hands, sending it falling to the ground with a sudden force that made you both freeze. He had displayed some power on other occasions, but not in a way like this. It was like he was challenging his daddy's strength.

You weren't first concerned about his unexpected strength because the loud noise made him cry much more. 

“What now?” Ben caressed his back in a hurry, attempting to soothe him. He knew that Jake's senses were just as sharp as his, and that your baby could sense the stress you were experiencing. He was crying as a result of both feeling nervous and not getting what he wanted.

You demanded, “Just give him to me,” as his sobbing became so intense that he was gasping for air. His face became so red that you stopped caring about the risks.

Ben unwillingly gave him up since he felt helpless, but his hands were cautious and prepared to take him away as you positioned Jake for a proper breastfeeding. Even if you wouldn't deny feeling a little frightened, you weren't able to ignore and hear his cries for milk. You had theories, but you didn't know why he had been acting this way lately.

Jake stopped crying when you offered him your nipple, which had begun to drip milk, after you took a long breath. His lips swiftly caught it, and you jerked a little in surprise, which also made him uneasy. If he hurt you, Ben's hands were on your chin, ready to stop him at any time. He was only drinking the milk as if he were starving. He didn't hurt you at all. His screams eventually became soft sobs. He kept sobbing some more while he sucked your nipple, but he got relaxed eventually hearing your sweet words and feeling your soft touch on his cheeks.

Ben finally exclaimed, “I don't understand,” as he watched in wonder as your baby strongly sucked milk from your nipple. He would claim that he was drinking milk for the first time in his eight months of existence if he didn't know how much he consumed in a day.

“You know, breastfeeding helps a baby and the mother to form a bond,” you said. “Maybe it's not about the milk.”

You couldn't help but feel depressed when you realized your baby was missing something. But it was calming enough to watch Jake relax and get drunk on your milk. Being the mother he needed from you was all you wanted. He expressed his needs even though he was still unable to speak. That was important.

Ben whispered, “Hey,” and kissed your forehead quickly as his hands waited on your baby's chest and chin. “You're doing perfectly. You already have a strong bond. Look at how much he loves you.” 

Jake's sucking stopped, and he mumbled a smile as though he knew what his dad was saying. Ben replied lightheartedly, “I swear, there was not a single teardrop on his eyes while he cried,” and then Ben laughed loudly. Jake lost his ability to suck for a second since he let out a tiny laughter as well, imitating his dad's laugh. 

Jake produced the same sound shortly after Ben's loud laugh, showing that he was having an awesome time. You both laughed when Ben gave him another hard kiss on the head because of the noise he made. Jake grew louder every time Ben spoke to him and played with his little hands and feet, as if he hadn't just been crying hysterically. 

You said, “It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” and reached for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck hard. 

Ben was delighted as he saw you breastfeed your little one. His brain was full of dirty things, but his heart was full of warmth and love. He sometimes sucked milk from your tits, but you pushed him away and reminded him that you didn't make the milk for him when he was acting aggressively and actually drained your soul from your tits. Now he had to share you with Jake, obviously, and his little son was kind of challenging him. As though he realized that all the milk and both tits were for him alone, his happy gaze never left Ben's. 

“You're trying to make me jealous, aren't you?” Ben whispered and placed one hand around your nipple, close to Jake's tiny mouth. 

When your son's hand immediately met Ben's, he made a sound of displeasure and pushed his father's hand away from your breast. His annoyed and jealous behavior made you laugh heartily. “You're right, sweetie, it's all yours,” you said, pushing Ben's hand away in support of your young son's struggle. “From now on, Daddy won't get any milk.”

“You know what?” As if to irritate your son, Ben smirked and caressed Jake's belly before planting a firm, wet kiss on your lips. “I'm going to suck all the milk tonight,” he muttered. “I'm not a very generous dad, am I?”

“I guess not.”

Ben licked his lips, and you could tell he wanted to take you by the shift in his eyes. The yearning and longing in his eyes were obvious without the use of words. You really needed him. Ben could sense that the way you smelt there. Actually, after your sex life returned to normal, you were feeling really horny, even though you weren't expressing it. Ben felt the same. But you couldn't do anything while Jake had his mind set on staying awake and made sure you and Ben didn't do any funny business.

Jake was upset when he didn't see you, and Ben was outraged when he heard Jake sobbing during the times he was literally inside of you. At these moments, Ben was acting like a child. You had to hold back your laughter when he had to stop between complaints due to Jake's sobbing, as though he was doing it on purpose. 

“It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” you said, reaching for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck strongly. But finally, his mouth stopped, and his eyes failed him as he fell asleep. He finally quit sucking. How much he could drink without stopping was incredible. 

“He sucked the life out of you,” Ben complained, being impatient already.

Ben grew impatient and complained about his son being a complete cockblocker since every time he tried to remove him from your arms to place him on his bed, his mouth automatically kept sucking your breast. After some while, he didn't want to drink anymore and put himself to sleep, which was a relief. You fixed your blouse while Ben gently lifted him out of your arms and carried him to his room. You felt a little at ease and joyful now, acknowledging Jake didn't hurt you at all, as though he was aware that you were fragile and he was afraid of hurting his mommy.

He was a sensitive, intelligent boy with a slight temper. Of course, mother is the source of intelligence. That was fortunate.

With a sigh of relief, you turned back to the coach and sat down, deciding to handle the kitchen later. Ben returned with careful steps and swiftly settled you on his lap. You gasped in astonishment since you didn't expect him to act so quickly. Even if your physique had changed a little, you were feeling better and more confident because he still loved and desired you.

You put your fingers on his neck and beard and inquired, laughing, “Is he asleep?”

Ben muttered, pressing your body against his hardness in order to show how ready he was to take you: “Yeah.” For a moment, his gaze softened. 

“You know, baby, you performed flawlessly there. Our supe baby is being breastfed with such confidence... It was such a beautiful moment.”

His compliments filled your heart with delight and satisfaction because you knew that now you were doing well and that your mother's instinct was right.

“Oh, yeah?” you said, grinning broadly at him. “How beautiful was I? You know, I'm not very good at making assumptions. You have to tell me.”

Ben's grin grew wide at your lighthearted demeanor, and he bit his lip as his thoughts were racing with filthy ideas of how many positions to take you in on the couch. “Well, I'm not good at forming words, but... so fucking much.”

As you kissed him, you both grinned at one another's mouths. You lovingly stroked his face and neck and said, “We are doing perfect, don't you think?” You were unable to stop touching one another.

Ben took a deep breath and kissed your shoulder while gently, firmly wrapping his powerful arms around your waist. “Just because you're perfect.” 

“Hey,” you murmured, taken aback by his lack of self-esteem at the time. “Without you, I couldn't possibly manage our tiny supe son. You're doing as well as I am. In this, we are on the same team, equal. However, in other places...” You tried to lighten the situation by saying, “Of course, I'm better than you.” 

“I'm sure you are. He's already strong, isn't he?” Ben asked. You laughed at how proud he sounded. He had his attention on observing Jake's abilities. “You must know that he strongly pushed my hands away from you. He literally attacked me.”

“Ben, he's still a baby.” You laughed aloud as you said, “He wouldn't attack you.”

“You keep saying that.” Ben found it funny how much you were enjoying yourself and feeling good. He was relieved that handling your little Supe guy wasn't as challenging as he had thought. 

You yawned abruptly and kept your head on Ben's warm chest while the moment of excitement and happiness gradually gave way to weariness. Ben kissed your forehead, and as soon as his heart was full of understanding, his hardness was already forgotten. He groaned into your hair. “I want to stay like this for some time,” he said. 

“For how much time?” 

“With you, forever and forever.”

AN: That was a one-shot. Please let me know what you think. I hope it's not bad haha.

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@believeinthefireflies95

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[bisexualdinahlance]

I'm gonna be real, I do think Tristan could be genuine in his feeling like hes "not going to be able to share" just based on how Max acted in this episode. Setting aside any potential Max/Tristan attraction, Max spent this whole episode being uncomfortable around Tristan, butting heads with him, and asserting his authority over him in a way we haven't seen since episode 1, if ever. (He dressed Tristan down in front of the Captain and called him Nurse Silva has he ever done that??)

Then Max gives his whole speech about being traditional, wanting one woman, and children, and about how they need to be able to maintain their dynamics and therefore their hierarchy. I think Tristan quite frankly lost some trust he had gained in Max in this episode. Trust that he would be listened to, trust that they could meet on the same level, trust that Max trusted him in return.

Not to mention Avery actively used to his attraction to her to get what she wanted lol. He floats the idea of them making a good duo after Max's rejection and she won't even consider it. Then she flirts with him just to get him to agree to talk to Max. It was funny but you could see even then he looked a little put out by it. There's nothing wrong with her wanting both and feeling like monogamy isn't for her, but I do think Tristan took that as "I am not and will never be enough for her" and that hit right in his emotional issues.

I think it genuinely is difficult for him to see how they could be in a balanced relationship atp (poly-v OR triad). In his eyes, Max not only doesn't want to try something "non traditional" but the threesome has also brought his power over Tristan to the forefront, causing a breakdown in trust. Avery has, unintentionally, kinda made it seem like she isn't concerned for Tristan's feelings and/or just doesn't care enough about him. It makes sense that Tristan feels like he's not going to be respected or considered in the relationship!

I also think it's significant that Avery keeps talking about fun and not putting a label on it and just... Never talks about the emotional side of it which makes sense for her prior commitment issues but is something that both Max and Tristan explicitly want.

This also isn't to say it couldn't work out between them lol, I'm still rooting for them to at least be a V (tho it's be a triad in my heart). I think that jealousy and insecurity is normal sometimes in polyamory at the beginning. The key is to communicate and they aren't... Really doing that yet lol.

[radioiaci]

Once the dishes were clean, Alastor set about tidying the rest of the kitchen. Had a bit of his own fixation issues - just needed to be doing something with his hands. Less on stimulus, more focused on tactile input. Kept his mind going as he made his way through his own thoughts, absently answering Vox's question as though he was only marginally considering it a two-way conversation.

"I do. A list of places." Some of which he muttered near inaudibly to himself. As though he were trying to recall. The parish itself, the waterway, the Pointe aux Chenes and the canal... The road that was supposed to lead to New Orleans proper. Though he was sure it was all modernized now. Which could make things difficult. There could be plenty of development where before there was not. The thought frustrated.

Though not as frustrating as Vox's incorrect recitation of their destination.

Alastor rolled his eyes.

"Parish. Not Paris. They are effectively Louisiana's counties. LaFourche was one of the many sugar parishes - where sugar cane plantations were established before and after the-"

Why was he bothering to explain? Vox would not retain an iota of it. Which meant that neither was he interested in telling Vox why he wanted to go there, either. He would simply dismiss that too.

"Nevermind. You are there to accompany, not to direct. Don't concern yourself with it."

The tidying done, Alastor made short work of manifesting a small tie with which to bring up to tie his hair up into a tail. Amid some of the things he allowed to linger around the flat, he'd left any number of small pocket-novels around, and he would nab one of them from its hiding place as he made his way towards the bedroom.

"I am going to read."

And he would settle on the bed and alleviate his own annoyances and worries by investing himself in the story for a time. It was easier to do that than try to confront them.

Vox realized why he was smoking so much was because he didn’t have his phone in reach. To addicted to madly addicted cortisol for some century or more to ever truly relax organically. Hyperactive in his head unless stimulated otherwise. And probably hedging into the territory of needing other fixes.. but if they were spending the night here he would sneak away and find a moment to indulge. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of it

Or even hid it consciously. Always perception. Illusion of being ever in control and that one step ahead.

Where was his phone…

He sat up more scratching at his inner thigh near his boxers with his claws as he looked around.

And then realized Alastor had been talking, woops. Good thing he was adept at such a recovery.

“Do you have a to do list made already..?” He prompted and then got up. Moving toward the bedroom but left the door open so the radio could be heard. (If Vox was listening.)

He just pulled on a night shirt and some loose pants. They were understated but they still matched. Not flashy this time.

Vox came back out when he found his phone and looked sleepier now that he had his loungewear on. Or maybe it was just that he looked softer without his pressed tailored shoulder-padded suit.

“You never mentioned why we’re going to… paris…” he waved his hand dismissively. Not putting the effort into remembering the name. And now standing sort of in the middle of the room looking at his phone while he scrolled his Vwitter.

The antenna were at least as relaxed as they usually were.

[moowmoon]

BREAKFAST

— spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

— summary: after a few weeks of intense work, spencer wanted to surprise her with breakfast in bed, but he discovered that sometimes coffee and bed don't make good pairs.

— c/w: i think none?

— w/c: 1.3k

— a/n: hello! another spencer one-shot! i hope you guys like it and let me know your thoughts! english is not my first language, so forgive me if there's any mistake!

The sun was just beginning to show timidly through the bedroom window when Spencer woke up, carefully removing the arm that had wrapped around him and placing it on his pillow. He turned over, his gaze resting on her sleeping face, observing the relaxed and finally peaceful features. For a moment, he stood there, almost hypnotized by that rare tranquility, something that, because of their work, was difficult and even more precious to see.

With a discreet smile, he decided to leave without waking her. He walked to the kitchen with light steps, where he began to prepare everything with precise, silent movements. She knew exactly what she was going to make: crispy toast, a touch of strawberry jam, and the strongest coffee, just the way she liked to start the day. From the fruit bowl, she chose a handful of grapes and an apple, her favorite fruit, thinking of cutting them up to make the perfect fruit salad.

While the coffee scented the kitchen, Spencer looked around, mentally assembling the tray. He wanted everything to have a touch of simplicity and intimacy, to show how much he paid attention to the little details - the way she appreciated pausing for another cup of coffee, the smile that appeared as she savored the first bite of toast. That morning, Spencer wanted every little gesture to be a reminder that she was always taken care of.

Spencer opened the cupboard, taking out the jar of jam and the slices of toast, feeling the pleasure of putting together every detail of the surprise. He knew it didn't have to be anything too elaborate, after all, she liked simple things that brought comfort and familiarity, but without losing the special touch.

He cut up some of the fresh fruit and, without resisting, took one of the grapes and tasted it. The sweet, fresh taste brought him a wave of tranquility; it was the kind of morning they rarely had. He placed everything on the tray with extreme care, adjusting each item almost as if he were preparing a work of art. As he concentrated on every detail, his thoughts wandered to anticipating the expressions he expected to see on her face when she woke up, that mixture of surprise and affection that warmed his heart every time.

The idea of surprising her with a morning like this, full of little details made with care and love, made Spencer smile, looking forward to the moment when he saw the smile appear on her lips.

He was just finishing arranging the tray when he remembered one detail. “Ah, the orange cake!” he smiled, opening the fridge door and finding the last slice. It was the cake they had made together a few days earlier on a quiet evening, laughing at Spencer's disastrous attempts at measuring the flour. He knew she would be happy to see that small gesture, a piece of that night shared in laughter and complicity.

With the tray carefully balanced in his hands, he entered the room with light steps, his gaze fixed on the image of her still tangled in the sheets. The room was quiet, the soft morning light beautifully illuminating her face, which was sleeping soundly, with such a peaceful expression that Spencer wondered for a moment if he was really going to do that, almost without the courage to interrupt.

He approached slowly, resting the tray on the bedside table, and leaned over, allowing himself a moment of pure admiration. Gently, he brushed his fingers across her shoulder, whispering softly, as if each word were a gentle invitation for her to wake up, and kissing her cheek quickly.

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking to get used to the light. When she saw Spencer standing there, with a shy smile and a carefully prepared tray beside him, her expression turned to surprise and tenderness. A sleepy smile appeared on her lips, and she stood up a little, her eyes shining in a way that made Spencer's heart beat faster.

“Good morning,” murmured Spencer, his voice warm with restrained affection. He could barely disguise his joy at seeing her reaction, as she now looked at every item on the tray with a look that mixed surprise and gratitude.

“You… did all this for me?” she asked, and Spencer nodded, the shy smile turning into a soft gleam in his eyes.

“I wanted to do something special,” he replied, as she picked up her coffee cup with an expression of pure happiness. “I know we haven't had a lot of free time these past few days, so I wanted our first free morning to be special, and I made you this coffee in bed.” It was a simple moment, but for Spencer, it was everything - he knew that in that smile and the sparkle in her eyes, there was a silent exchange of affection that made the morning even more perfect.

As they arranged themselves on the bed, trying to find a comfortable balance for the tray between them, Spencer leaned over to pick up the piece of cake, and she did the same, both laughing as they realized they had almost collided. In the midst of their relaxation, she moved abruptly, and Spencer saw the cup of coffee tilting too late.

The hot liquid ran down the tray and onto the sheet, and they froze for a second before bursting into laughter. Spencer tried to save one of the toasts, but the jam had already spread. She, laughing almost childishly, grabbed a napkin and tried to clean up the mess, but her clumsy efforts only made matters worse, which made them both laugh even harder.

“When you said you cooked breakfast in bed, I didn't imagine it would literally be in bed,” she said, with a mischievous grin, while Spencer looked in her direction, trying to keep a serious expression, but failing completely. Each laugh seemed to disarm him, leaving Spencer carefree and immersed in that lightness he rarely felt.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he let go of the toast and let himself fall beside his partner, laughing himself to tears. She lay down next to him, still laughing, the two of them completely ignoring the mess on the sheet, enjoying the moment as if nothing else mattered. Between giggles and complicit glances, Spencer felt that this unexpected chaos had been the perfect touch to a morning that had somehow become even more special.

Between giggles and small coffee stains on the sheet, they settled down again, now with what little was left of breakfast. Spencer held up a slice of cake with an amused expression, offering her a piece, which she accepted with a lazy smile, still savoring the joy of the moment.

They ate slowly, their movements slowed down by the tranquility of the moment. She reached out, running her fingers through Spencer's tousled hair, and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax under her gentle touch. It was rare to have a morning like this, with no rush or worry, just the two of them, together and present for each other.

“I could get used to this.” Spencer heard her murmur, her eyes shining as they met his. The smile on her face was warm, filled with gratitude that words couldn't fully express.

Spencer leaned in, running his hand over her face in a caressing gesture, his thumb gliding gently across her cheek. “Maybe we should do this more often.” he whispered, his voice low and laden with a tenderness he could rarely express.

They stayed there, exchanging light caresses and soft laughter, as if the world outside didn't exist. The cold coffee, the pieces of toast forgotten on the tray, and everything else was insignificant next to what they felt there together. For Spencer, that moment of tranquility and affection was exactly what they both needed - a silent reminder that, even in the little things, they could find deep and sincere happiness.

[perfectlyripeclementine]

hey yall, let’s take care of each other by googling things with medical consequences before sharing them.

we’ve seen this before. we know healthcare is about to be de-regulated and certain kinds of care (like reproductive and gender-affirming care) are going to be targeted. we know people are afraid.

herbalism is a fantastic discipline. i love herbal medicine and deeply respect its practitioners. i also see some wild stuff be shared that i know is super dangerous.

in general, be suspicious of resources that propose herbal remedies as one-to-one substitutions for clinical medication. that’s not to say plants don’t have medical properties that can resemble medication, but herbalism tends to be a more holistic discipline. there’s not a plant that works just like aspirin or Plan B or estrogen.

be especially suspicious of resources that promote the use of herbs without making any kind of notes as to who they might negatively effect. many herbs can interact with any number of medications you are taking. mugwort, for instance, is not safe to take if you are pregnant or on birth control. it will, indeed, cause an abortion, but it will also do you a great deal of harm. there are other herbal remedies for abortion care but mugwort is not one of them - yet i see it on infographics for abortion care all the time.

this will get people killed. (it already has.)

the way to prepare ourselves for whatever the fuck is going to happen to healthcare in the US (and generally in countries where fascism is rising which seems to be most of them) is to educate yourself on your body and the natural environment. this is the time to sign up for herbalism classes or street medic training. this is the time to buy that herbal encyclopedia compiled by someone who has a documented practice in the field.

the search engines are fucked and lord knows how many companies are keen to profit from how difficult it is to find real information on the internet right now. the way to prepare for what’s coming is NOT to spread “resources” without googling them bc they have pretty infographics and were shared by a popular astrology account or whatever.

don’t kill your friends. don’t kill your followers. if you’re sharing something with medical information, google that shit (or look for it on a different engine that hasn’t been eaten by AI as much.) and when you find disinformation being shared, TELL PEOPLE it’s disinformation.

we have to take care of each other. we have to move with curiosity rather than fear. we have to take this shit seriously.

[eurothug4000]

PIGLET'S BIG GAME - INTERVIEW WITH PASCAL CAMMISOTTO

Earlier this week I interviewed Pascal (game designer on Piglet's Big Game 2003) about the making of the title that has received a whirlwind of attention online recently. You can find more information in my video that's going up today on my channel: https://www.youtube.com/@eurothug4000/videos

How did the project come into existence?

At that time, Doki Denki studio was already working with Disney. 

We had released three PlayStation 1 games with them. Disney was working on the film Piglet's Big Movie and was looking for a studio to develop the video game alongside it. 

I don’t want to say anything inaccurate, but I believe it was, officially, our first PlayStation 2 game released on the market.

If the information I found online is correct, Piglet's Big Movie was released after Piglet's Big Game came out! Were you given any direction by Disney on what the game should be like and if it should be similar to the movie in any way? Or did you have complete freedom in designing the game (story, gameplay etc.) as you wish?

I’m not too sure anymore how everything came together, but I believe Disney didn’t give us access to the film's content. 

They were very secretive (and I think that was quite common at the time). They just wanted a ‘product’ to accompany the movie release. 

All we knew was that it revolved around Piglet. So the game’s story was developed by us (the game design team), as narrative designers didn’t exist back then. 

We had a lot of freedom, both in writing and game design, and I think that was partly thanks to Disney's producer, Risa Cohen. She really supported our decisions in the interest of quality.

What do you specifically remember working on for the game? (Certain levels, overall gameplay loop etc.?)

I remember several things: the horror gameplay, which was completely new for this target audience; the hour of real-time cinematics that I directed with the animation team; the cameras in each room that I placed as best as I could to follow the action; and finally, the overly difficult combat (which I wanted to tone down, but wasn’t allowed to. ^^). 

The atmosphere in the studio was fantastic, and I genuinely recall a sense of pride in what we were doing. 

Yes, it was a kids’ game, and yes, sometimes it was cheesy, but we still had so much fun making it, as if we were making it for ourselves. It was truly a great project.

Do you remember what the reception was to the game at the time of its release?

Yes, the game was very well received. It was considered by reviewers to be a very good children’s game. At that time, many licensed games (especially those for kids) were rushed and uninspired. 

That wasn’t our philosophy at the studio. We wanted to make a good game, even if the target audience was very young. 

I think that’s why the game surprised people with its strong approach and quality.

Have you seen some of the posts about Piglet's Big Game recently? What was your reaction to seeing them if so?

Absolutely not. I just found out, and of course, I’m thrilled that it’s being talked about again!

People online are talking about the "horror" aspects of the game, were these intentional? Was the aim to have a game that had elements of the horror genre?

When Disney spoke with the studio about this game, Marc Albinet (the head of game design, my boss) immediately wanted to make ‘a Resident Evil for kids.’ 

I believe he even went to Disney to pitch the idea, and he must have been convincing because they said yes. 

Since we didn’t have access to the movie’s script, we created a story centered around Piglet. It focused on his lack of self-confidence and the courage he would need to help his friends, who were asleep and trapped in a nightmare. 

The horror element was tied to these nightmares that the player would need to resolve.

Are there any links or anything that you'd like me to mention so people can find you online, or any projects you're working on?

You can find me on X (@KaMiZoTo), but I rarely tweet. Since my time at Doki Denki, I've gained quite a bit of experience, and now I have my own studio: 

http://drawmeapixel.com

We released in 2020 "There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension", which I recommend everyone try without watching any let’s plays to avoid spoilers! (The experience relies on surprise.)

We’re also working on a new secret project with the same meta spirit!

A big thank you to Pascal for taking the time to talk about the game!

[cube-cumb3r]

BELOW: FAQ (and iFAQ)

Here are some frequently (and infrequently) asked questions:

Q: It should've been longer A: Do you want me to die

Q: Will there be a data project 4? A: Eventually, but I think next up I'll make a form with Just the questions written by form-takers, because I've realized that that is actually a genius idea. Also I wouldn't need to do any work!

Q: What will you do with the questions we've written?! A: See answer above.

Q: What is the actual purpose of the survey? The data will be very difficult to analyses due to missing values! A: I'm sure I've mentioned it before in various places, but I'm interested in how people answered the survey, in addition to what they actually answered. So the "missing values" is actually part of the data! But then again I am of course also interested in the actual responses, because they're fun. If you're interested in my amateur data analysis see here, here and here.

Q: Are you enjoying the spreadsheets and the responses A: Yes, but I am also being harmed by them

Q: Why do you spell shampoo like that ("Schampoo") A: That's how it's spelled in Swedish

Q: How to eat cheese? A: I often wonder this

Q: are you hopeful for the future? your own future and the future in general A: I am very hopeful for the future, especially my own future. I was doing really bad 2020-2022 and then things were suddenly good and now I'm really excited about life, things are going well and I know what I want to do with myself!

Q: What is your take on the relationship between doctor doffinshmerts and perry the platypus A: I had a pnf phase in early 2018, and at this at the same time mysteriously I had created a superspy OC and a Mad scientist OC who were gay lovers. This was unrelated

Q: Omg i love tofu what’s ur favorite way to season it A: I typically fry broccoli and tofu cubes together and then drown them in sweet chili sauce and soy sauce. And then serve with instant noodles with a drizzle of sesame oil ontop #studentlife Q: What was the r value of that line of best fit for age vs favorite doctor? (referring to a graph included in the form) A: Oh it's complete garbage I don't even remember I just included it because the idea amused me. I think the r value was less than 0.05. If I were to make a similar graph using the data from this form it'd look like this. Correlation test shows the r-value is -0.2 which suggests possibly a weak negative linear relationship, and the p-value for Age in this regression model 0.06, which is pretty low but now low enough that I'd claim that there definitively is a relationship, it might also just be completely random.

Q: What's YOUR favorite Doctor A: 12th! Somewhere on the chart above there's a little dot for 22, 12

Q: What was that about a password? A: Don't worry about it.

Q: Are you secretly an alien trying to learn about humanity though this form so you can make a plan to take over the world and destroy all humans? A:

Q: Why A: Why....

Does anyone want to do my new google form

[twilightkitkat]

Hi, first of all, I want to tell you that I adore your stories and ideas, I love your content and you are one of my favorite Poolverine /Deadclaws writers ♥️♥️♥️♥️

1. I have a question, will you continue the story where the X-Men react to Logan and Wade's happy relationship, will you leave poor Logan alone? Or will they try to sabotage their relationship to get "their" Wolverine back and try (in vain) to fix things with him?

2. I would like to see the Avengers' reaction when they find out that Steve knows Logan, I have a feeling that knowing that he is no longer part of the X-Men, they would try to get him to join them, but Logan's answer would be a definitive NO, mainly because neither team wants Wade, Logan won't go anywhere without him, on the contrary, the two of them would show others what a real team is.

Thank you very much for your attention and I hope I have not made any mistakes in my writing 🥺♥️

Omg, thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️ it means a lot to know that people like my writing and that my blog has become one of your favorites.

I've been considering making a sequel to it with a different scenario and continuing to write about how the X-men adjust to this new Logan. While a few of them (Rogue and Colossus) know that Logan doesn't want to return and why, the rest would have a more difficult time accepting it.

I think that the X-men tend to view Logan's feelings as secondary and subconsciously look down on him. They treat themselves as more important and prioritize their feelings and perspectives over Logan's, which was reinforced in the movies. The best word to describe them is egocentric—they don't consciously think that they're above Logan and not all have high self-esteem, but they tend to have difficulties empathizing with him and seeing things from his perspective.

However, I don't think they're intentionally malicious. They wouldn't see what they're doing as "sabotage" because they want the best for Logan (in their eyes), but they would try to separate him from Wade to convince him that they're right. They'd see it as a necessary evil and think that there needs to be a divide because Wade has influenced him. However, in reality, they just feel uncomfortable seeing Logan act so close to Wade because it forces them to confront the way they treated him and how he never acted like that. They also aren't very receptive to change in their social order, and Logan breaking off is a pretty big one.

As for the Avengers' reaction, I think it'd be one of shock. Captain America isn't just the Poster Boy of America, he's the symbolic leader of the Avengers. He's this strong, moral, righteous figure who doesn't show weakness and always looks ahead. He opens up just enough to form an emotional connection with them, but he largely keeps his deeper feelings and doubts to himself.

So when Logan shows up and Steve acts less like a figurehead and more like a person, it's... uncanny. Not necessarily bad, but unnerving. They aren't used to seeing Steve relax and laugh and show genuine emotion. When the two reminisce on the past, Steve's face becomes clouded with nostalgia and regret, and when Logan places a hand on his shoulder Steve leans into it gratefully. He smiles and relaxes and the Avengers feel like they're seeing a new side of Steve, a glimpse into the scared and mortal soldier he was instead of the unstoppable hero he became.

Aside from Logan, they know about The Wolverine. They know about his feats and strengths and a few have worked alongside him in the past. He has an impressive resume, and if he hadn't been swept away by the X-men then the Avengers would've taken him in gladly.

Except now, he isn't part of the X-men. So the Avengers ask. It's a perfect fit, really. Logan is strong and capable and has a strong moral compass, he'd fit right in. Throw in the added bonus of being friends with Steve and being able to comfort him and it's a done deal.

Except... Logan refuses. Point blank.

The rest of the Avengers blink owlishly, but Steve gives an understanding smile and nod of the head. When they ask why, his answer drops their jaws even further.

"You rejected Wade, and he's my partner. I'm not joining any fucking team he's not a part of," Logan grumbles.

And that's how the Avengers find out that apparently, The Wolverine was partners with Deadpool. A few had heard rumors from the underground that The Wolverine had been doing vigilante work alongside Deadpool, but they'd thought it was a temporary thing. Something to repay his debt and occupy his time until he found another team. It makes sense that Logan didn't want to rejoin the X-men, he had a lot of history with them, but he shouldn't have an issue joining a better team. There's no way he'd be attached to Deadpool of all people, right?

But that was exactly the case. The Wolverine was apparently dedicated to spending the rest of his days in this universe by Deadpool's side. The tips of his ears turn red when he talks about Wade, and Steve has a knowing and private smile when he listens to him. (He'd anticipated this. How could he not, after meeting Wade and seeing how Logan looked at him like he was his whole world? It'd be nice to work with Logan again, but Steve was fine with settling for the occasional team-up. He wouldn't want to separate them.)

It's... a bit of a blow to the ego, to be honest. To know that The Wolverine chose Deadpool over them like it was obvious. That he didn't even think twice about their offer. To know that Logan thought someone they rejected was more valuable to work with than them.

They thought he was crazy until they saw the pair in action.

Witnessing the easy and impeccable teamwork between Logan and Wade was like watching lightning strike. The two moved with a fluidity the Avengers had never seen before, weaving in and out of each other's attacks like they were telepathically connected. Logan's strength balanced Wade's speed, and when Logan would slash Wade would shoot. They were terrifyingly fast and efficient, cutting through the enemies like butter.

It's in that moment that they understand why The Wolverine chose Deadpool over them. He was right in his choice.

[kalisburnerphone]

The Colors of You // C.SC

Mini Series || will contain adult themes and language, minors do not interact!!

Overall Warnings: idol!seungcheol x gradstudent!reader,Afro-IndoLatina!woc, implied curve/plus-sized woc!, emotionally constipated reader, seungcheol is lowkey a simp but so is reader and neither are that good at hiding it, reader considers herself demisexual, reader and seungcheol have a discussion on curly hair maintenance at some point, arguments occur, this is for my tall girlies,reader is just an inch or two shorter than cheol, seungcheol on his glucose guardian agenda, kkuma makes an appearance, pouty cheol, a bit cutesy, a bit domestic, a bit angsty, smut in various ways, reader has tattoos, seungcheol has some not so innocent realizations about himself, I think that's all for now.

A/N: I do not own Seventeen or any of the members. This is a work of fiction and not meant to accurately depict any of the members personality in real life as I only know what I've been shown. Seventeen and any other mentioned idol are just used as face claims and character names.

Unofficial Playlist:

Kidult - SVT

Amazing - Kiana Lede

Naughty - Devita

Natural - Kiana Lede

난 (Me) - 에스쿱스 (S.COUPS)

It's a work in progress, I'll update it later.

1.Color Rush - release date: 23rd or 24th November 2024.

Summary: You’d never given much thought to the idea of meeting your probe. Having spent your entire life as a mono, your color spectrum limited to the multiple shades of gray, you’d gotten used to it. You had never met anyone who made you see color so you had figured there wasn’t anyone out there that would bring color to your world. You were okay with that, you’ve seen what finding a probe can do to a mono and you refused to become like that. You liked your simple life but you had no idea that all that was about to change. All it took was one VIP ticket, your eyes locking with the leader of one of the biggest groups in the world and suddenly there’s an explosion of color popping around your irises before you pass out.

2. Color Drive - release date: tba!

Summary: Somehow you've been convinced to give this 'thing' -because calling it a relationship makes it seem too real- a chance. You both agree to take things slow while he's away but even though you agreed you're still hesitant and skeptical. Trying to keep him at a distance proves difficult even when he's thousands of miles away because there's one thing that Choi Seungcheol is, it's determined, a bit clingy and very stubborn. Despite continuously trying to break down those walls you've built so damn high, he starts feeling like he's the only one trying. One phone call turns into an argument which in turn leads to you going radio silent. The last place he expects to run into you is at his favorite restaurant while he's visiting home during their short break for the holidays.

3.Color Me In - release date: tba!

Summary: Tour is finally over and while he has some time to rest you're about to start another semester. It doesn't stop him from trying to be in your space every chance he gets or spending money on KTX tickets to have you in his no matter how much you protest. Seungcheol doesn't remember the last time he's felt like this or if he's ever felt like this before but he's 100% sure that you were made for him and him for you. You on the other hand, as much as you keep denying it you know you're falling hard and deeply despite it barely being five months since you both met. He makes it so easy too that you only realize how down bad you are when he's not in your orbit. When his scent has faded from your space and you find yourself missing him. If Seungcheol had noticed the number of t-shirts and hoodies that disappeared during that winter then he makes no mention of it because lowkey or maybe high-key he already knows how you feel. Him finding out that he’s your bias may have clued him in on that but a win is a win.

Release date schedule may change, I'm up to my neck in assignments for grad school so please bare with me. I'm trying to complete and edit the first part which will probably be posted before or after my conference in Seoul next weekend. I'm aiming to have part 2 out by the end of December or early January. The timeline is loosely following real life with the tour dates and such so the final part (subject to change depending on its performance) is set for February 2025. It's a loose schedule that I would like to finish during winter break as long as research and work don't drown me.