#I have to believe im capable of this i just have to. Otherwise whats the point

[neonbodyache]

ᯓ★dreaming of a better body and i will make it so★

[radioactivesweet]

Ok hear me out, what about moon god s/o x Poseidon, its been itching my mind cause of the sea x moon troupe.

What i imagine is, s/o being a powerful god like nyx but rarely appears so only a few gods know or saw them so Poseidon became curious about this mysterious (beautiful) god. Feel free to add more about this!! im just really craving for someone to write this 🥹

Uhhh I like this concept a lot!! I tried to keep the reader's gender kinda neutral, I hope it's fine^^ btw I really enjoyed writing this!

word count: 1.2k

Poseidon often found himself staring at the moon. He couldn't really explain why he would do that - not that anybody would dare asking the God of the Sea what he was doing. Unbothered, Poseidon would stand silenty on the ivory balcony, looking up to that apparently endless sky. Even for someone like him that domain appeared far and full of mystery.

It was a dark night, its only beam being the peaceful and perlescent light emanated by the sleeping moon. He was once told that a god inhabited the moon, far from all other living beings. It wasn't known the reason why the deity ended up there, observing humankind from the satellite. Some believed they refused to get involved with human affairs and chose to live as a hermit instead; others claimed the god was exiled and was cursed to live on their own, bound to live in loneliness; some believed that god to have died long ago, the moonlight being their only inheritance, the memento of a god who existed no more, the reminder of a otherwise forgotten past.

Poseidon, everytime he would look at the moon, would wonder the real story behind it. None of the moon goddesses he knew could give him a response, despite asking themselves the same question - with whom were they sharing their moon? A god, a ghost or nothing at all?

Not knowing made the God of the Sea restless. He wasn't supposed to be this ignorant - it was his duty and right to know the truth. Yet, all he knew didn't make sense to him at all. He couldn't find a reason why a god would choose to abandon their place a seek shelter on the moon; if a deity was trapped on the moon, he would have surely heard of it somehow. It wouldn't have been just a rumour; lastly, gods weren't meant to die, it wasn't their nature. They didn't have an expire date nor any time limits, so it was impossible to begin with. If there really were someone looking down on him from the moon, Poseidon would discover it.

Poseidon spent that whole night reading books and looking for information regarding the legends surrounding that mysterious and mystical figure. There weren't many references and he couldn't even find the name of that god, yet there were reported some events which most likely involved them. A beautiful deity whose melancholic face was reflected on the moon on certain nights, someone wearing a silvery armor while riding a shining chariot across the sky. Also, a powerful god who could conceal the sun and the earth. A god capable of moving the stars and making humans into constellations. A god who could flex the tides to their own amusement - which meant disturbing the God of the Sea too - the moon phases and the sea had always been strictly connected to one another, but the thought of someone directly interefering had never crossed his mind. An ancient deity whose name had been long forgotten and all traces canceled, no statues nor temples left, their believers long dead and turned to ashes.

Poseidon was intrigued to say the least. He couldn't recall even if tried the last time he had felt so interested in someone - maybe last time was when he recognised Hades as his brother thousands of years before? He didn't remember anymore, and it didn't really matter to him neither.

Rumours spreaded fast across the Heavens. It was a matter of days before everybody knew what the lonesome Poseidon was looking for, yet nobody dared approaching him nor suggesting him the information that could have helped him reach his objective. Yet, everybody was curious as to why he was interested in that legend in the first place. Poseidon was used to those lower deities' gossips, so he didn't pay them much care, they were nothing more than a bother and wasn't expecting them to act some other way. He was more interested in what certain gods had to say.

Zeus, despite his prestige, knew no more than him but reccomended talking with the goddess Nyx, whom he was afraid of, much more ancient than he was. Hades and Hermes agreed with Zeus and added some rumours that had been circulating for ages in the Underworld regarding a moon deity who lead the souls of the dead to Hades' domain. Beelzebub clearly remembered studying moon's phenoma and seeing that legendary face. They didn't ask him the reason why he was looking for the god. He wouldn't have answered anyway. Without a single word, he left, approaching his next destination, the goddess all gods feared: Nyx.

He respected the goddess, recognising her value and strenght, but didn't understand the reason why even the almighty Zeus feared - he could only suppose it must have been because of one of his many affairs that didn't end the way Zeus imagined. Poseidon didn't have anything to do with that though, therefore had no reason to fear her.

Nyx knew it all, the story of the human who ascended to the skies and then flew even higher above. That god's name was (Y/n), the vagabond of the stars, the hermit who found a home in the dim light of the moon. Poseidon was satisfied by the answers he had finally found - and a way to reach the moon itself. He was close to his goal.

He had finally landed on the moon. Poseidon had never been there before. It was the first time he got to see the sea he ruled from that perspective. It was a foreign feeling to him. He could almost understand the reason why humans tried so hard to leave Earth and reach the space - it was undescribable. He couldn't even blame (Y/n) for hiding in that timeless place. Poseidon felt as he could touch the stars if he only wanted to. And he was just about to do it, if only a sudden voice hadn't interrupted him.

"I've heard someone was looking for me. I don't receive many guests, so I suppose you must be that person." it was quite, almost a whisper. It didn't surprise Poseidon. (T/n) mustn't have had someone to talk to in a long time.

"You are Poseidon, aren't you? You often stare at the moon, I noticed it." a voice comparable to the music of the spheres, the musica universalis, the harmony between the celestial bodies.

(Y/n) seemed to have no material consistence, one with the stars and the deep blue sky surround them, floating on the ground, detached from the earthly beings. Poseidon almost felt unworthy of being before someone surrounded by such a, otherwordly aura, belonging to a different dimension. On the other hand, he was attracted by that holy creature.

"You are welcome here, God of the Seas." almost as if they had read his mind, (Y/n) reassured him "We all belong to the moon, all beings are made of the same stardust. There are no differences between us."

For once, Poseidon, enchanted and bewitched, couldn't reply. He was part of that symphony too - he could feel it resonating deep into his bones.

The everlasting sea below him, the everlasting stars above him. Poseidon felt whole for the first time in his equally everlasting life.

[fablepaint]

I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask anything here, but I wanted to know something. How is it like being a director of an animation? What’s your ideology when it comes to directing?

Messages anytime all the time

caffeinecaffeinecaffeine

body exhausted, enforces its own breaks

hard to go out, ever

STRESSSSS

MAAATHHH

wheredidmybraingo?

*smashed body part* thatll heal up finnnne. i dont have time for doctor!

ohgoddontfuckitup dontbeTHATguy ohfuckohshit

i love my partner i cant believe he puts up with this

hug every pet. theyre my emotional sponges.

manic creative spurts followed by sheepish anxiety.

PaPERWORK

hurry up and wait, times a thousand.

hope you like data sheets!

delegateDAMMIT

And thats when it's running smoothly!

otherwise my approach is to try and reflect the best examples of leadership and guidance IRL ive experienced. Mostly, from quality college professors Ive known. Tom Sito in particular exemplified a lot of what i strive to be. He was also formerly guild president and i think teaching your crew to view themselves as a collective that supports each other is vital to ensuring not just that they work together well, but also should anyone try to take advantage of them, they'll curbstomp them. I want them to be capable even in my absence, beyond the project, and able to run their own projects competently in the future.

i should be the one who guides and educates people into giving what's needed for the shot. Pain and blood are unwanted elements in that recipe. Theyre distractions and energysappers, red flags of a problem not a badge of honor.

Ideally, i barely have to do more than gently steer the work. And if ive communicated what im looking for effectively, theyre all plenty good at doing the work without me hovering over them.

if the work needs more guidance than that, then i roll up my sleeves and dive in as well. And figure out what the problem was, log it, and let that educate everyone else too (good documentation is essential).

i try to exhaust every option i have before blaming the person working on it for all the issues. Sometimes that is the problem, but even then i need to approach it neutrally and ask what human solution is required then. Do they need a break? was this not the right shot for them? is their way of processing the communication different than i expected? is there a translation problem?

in which case give people space to figure out some of that without judgement. Sometimes that means leaving for a bit, or permanently. But dont chase them. Just let them have their own life.

The only things i cant abide by are lack of communication that results in putting stress on the rest of the team. Consistent lying about availability and ball dropping despite constant outreach means someone has to pick up the slack without enough time or energy stocked up to take on the extra work. Anything that ends up exacerbating stress makes me upset.

But even then, it's still my job to spot the signs of this and make necessary adjustments before it becomes a problem. Including identifying where I made a miscalculation in hiring.

The buck always ALWAYS stops with me. I have the power to adjust the system to make it better, which means i gotta have a good grasp on that system.

[feligayzed]

YEAH IM HERE AGAIN ABOUT TO ASK ABOUT YOUR FUNNY FISH MAN AU YEAH THATS RIGHT

Okay okay, so we've seen you absolutely are a firm believer in Animal sounds and behaviors Sebastian right?

Now it makes me curious.. do you think some of these habits he ever accidentally carried over into being back to his mostly human daily life? Whether is be some sounds, old behavior he just didn't scrap, or otherwise; any of them that might've stuck with him?

🥹🥹🥹 I'M SHAKING I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK

Oh they absolutely do ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ very much so. Wayyy back I was supposed to draw up some scenarios about this specific thing in mind but uh. Oopsie *executive dysfunction blast*

Being a Creature for over a decade comes with its quirks, many of which are not easy to shake...not that he'd even care to try to, tbh. Old habits die hard and he's just tired, man, he couldn't be bothered to rein it in to appeal to the public anymore— this is as good as it's gonna get and if you have a problem you can take it up with the wall

That being said, let's talk about em!! The most obvious is his lil ear fin thingies; they still very much respond to emotion and he's actually become quite reliant on them for nonverbal communication. As a matter of fact, he didn't realize just HOW much he relied on it until after his big ole tail disappeared and he remembered rather quickly that humans have extremely limited variations of social cues (no this isn't an autism moment what pfft.....totally)

Smiling was also an adjustment he had to acclimate himself to. He couldn't recall when baring his teeth became a sign of aggression/fear to him, but the discomfort other (well-meaning) people brought him was realized very early on. On that note, he tends to get snarly when troubled or anxious, so. A good chunk of the time LOL. A small inconvenience happens and his lip is twitching

AS FOR NOISES his vocal chords were pretty much returned back to normal, so physically he isn't capable of a lot of the ones he used to be able to do, but that doesn't mean he won't give it his best shot. Unconsciously. He never tries to purposefully recreate any of the sounds because he just assumed they would make themselves known whether he liked it or not LMAO (it would be because. Embarrassing. But he bid farewell to his dignity a LONG time ago and now he's just resigned). Like if he stubbed his toe or some shit he would hiss from deep in his chest, and that's about the extent of his current range 😭 now me personally I like to think that he can purr still but it is a Deep Dark Secret the likes of which are career-ending

And now misc thangs 🕺

he was weird about food for quite a while, and it took a lot of work with Pai to get over it. This kinda looked like: refusing to eat anywhere other than his room, refusing to go out for dinner, staring long and hard at the raw meats section in the supermarket and consequently making the butcher uncomfortable. You get the idea

He'll instinctively reach for his non-existent lure when he enters a dark room, effectively grabbing at nothing

Avoided bodies of water at all costs for a hot minute. Took to washing his hair in the sink while he begrudgingly worked through some things with his lovely spouse whom he is so grateful for

His bed? Nest. Painter? Making it every morning without fail

He doesn't have to worry about shedding anymore but the Trauma of the experience was so great, he is thoroughly lotioned

[ron456]

AHHHHH- IM SO SICK OF THE BS I SWEAR-

FIRST OF ALL-

He doesn't "act naturally" or "normal" because HE'S AUTISTIC-

Will Roland portrays him as AUTISTIC so he's gonna act AUTISTIC-

ALSOOOO- IT'S BROADWAY, BABE- THEY NEED TO BE OVERDRAMATIC AND VERY EXPRESSIVE OTHERWISE THE PREFORMANCE DOESN'T CARRY THROUGH THE WHOLE THEATRE-

AND ANOTHER THING- Jeremy is supposed to be a "loser"-

he gets bullied and is misunderstood by his peers because he is, well, NOT CHILL-

HE'S "CHALANT" AS HELL-

He gets bullied because he cares about things too much, he's anxious, he's loud-

And in regards to the "can't hold a note for too long"- have you heard Loser, Geek, Whatever? Or More Than Survive? Or Two Player Game??? Song where he holds notes for quite a long time- ALSO- to say that Will Roland can't reach the same notes as Will Connolly is just... not true.

And one of the reasons I think some people think Will Roland is "a worse singer" is because, sometimes, stylistically, Will Roland will use a sort of falsetto/head voice (which I LOVE BTW AND IM SICK OF PEOPLE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE BAD SINGERS BECAUSE THEY USE HEAD VOICE- IT'S BEAUTIFUL, IMPRESSIVE, AND REQUIRES GOOD BREATH CONTROL TO MAKE IT NOT SOUND CRAPPY AND WILL ROLAND DOES IT AMAZINGLY) like when he says "hero" and "Rob Dinero" (idk if that's how you spell it 😭) in More Than Survive.

It's not that he's a bad singer, he is taking the brunt of his voice during those parts and also, given that it's this little solo/soliloquy moment for Jeremy, I think that Will Roland's choice to use a light head voice there is perfectly well-placed. It feels kinda personal, I guess. And I love it <3

Not to say that Will Connolly's way of singing it isn't also great. It's awesome! But like, guys, we can't keep getting pissed when a new actor in a show doesn't have the exact same singing voice as the original 😭 That's just silly, guys. 😭

(LIKE WHEN PEOPLE GOT PISSED AT ELIZABETH TEETER'S LYDIA FOR SOUNDING TOO MUSICAL THEATRE-Y?? LIKE. HUH?!? GUYS, IT'S BROADWAY- WHAT DO YOU MEANNN??? Sorry, I have feelings- Also, Shoutout to Elizabeth Teeter, btw, cuz' she slayed <3)

Anywaysss- back to Will Roland's voice- he is very much capable of hitting the notes that Will Conolly hits- if not higher (IT'S NOT A COMPETION THO, GUYS- PLS DONT COME FOR ME). For example, the acoustic version of Loser, Geek, Whatever on Spotify which, I believe, is a key higher than usual!! This man can belt some high notes when the situation calls for it! And also, (these are not really bmc related but whatever) during the harmony or whatever at the end of "Sincerely, Me", that is none other than WiLL RoLaND (!!!) hitting that high E (I'm pretty sure it's an E. I hope it's an E. But regardless, it's still a SUPER HIGH NOTE) at the end! And in "Amphibian" on Joe Iconis' album titled, well, "Album", Will Roland hits some insanely high notes!!! ( EVEN IF THEY ARE HEAD VOICE. I REPEAT, HEAD VOICE DOES NOT MEAN BAD SINGER!!)

Also, as a little additional statement to my "Jeremy is autistic/ autistic-coded so Will Roland played him as autistic"; this is not to say that Will Conolly didn't add some "autistic flare", if you will, to Jeremy. I mean, just yesterday I was freaking out with my friend about a gif of Will Conolly's Jeremy doing the autistic flappy hands :))). And I think that he was a good baseline for other Jeremy's to build off of!

Also, I feel like the people that are saying that Will Roland's portrayal of autism/neurodiversity is "ableist" or "incorrect" or "too dramatic" are sorta failing to understand/acknowledge that autism/neurodiversity is a spectrum. Not every person with autism or another kind of Neurodiversity is gonna act the same. And I think that's something really beautiful that we should all cherish. It is GREAT that we are all different but also, in many ways, the same!

And to see myself and my uncontrolled speaking voice and weird noises and such represented by Will Roland on stage is such a beautiful thing that I think 'ought to be cherished.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

https://www.tumblr.com/brf-rumortrackinganon/767219936813842433/im-one-of-those-people-who-can-tolerate-charles?source=share

No. 3 is so spot on! This is what I've been saying in the other blog last time but I was understandably shut down.

I was just saying that people should stop making an assumption that William hasn't cheated or isn't capable of having extramarital affairs when aside from being human, it's frankly normal in his environment and definitely runs in his blood. I don't think the rumours in 2019 would spark without enough basis, it was just properly handled by William's team.

My argument was just solidified this year because people would often say that if he was cheating, there's no way the media wouldn't catch on it, but I say, if he was able to take Catherine in and out of the hospital without anyone finding out, he can definitely pull his affairs away from prying eyes.

The issue a lot of people (myself included) had about the William affair rumors is that most people who believe them are passing it off as true confirmed fact when there has been absolutely no confirmation or evidence or a single shred of receipt.

Of course it’s possible William could cheat. Of course it’s possible Kate could cheat. Or maybe they have an arrangement. Of course they can move without the press knowing. Of course than can act without it being a public event. No one’s denying that or refuting it. We don’t know what happens in the Waleses’ marriage.

What we deny and what we reject is the rumor being contorted into an actual event and something that did actually happen, because there isn’t any evidence that it happened. The only evidence is that Kate and Rose Hanbury had a falling out and their only justification is society’s shitty expectation that two women can’t possibly have anything other than a man in common.

Which is why blogs keep dismissing your argument. While your argument is “William could cheat if he wanted to because it’s what his people do”, it’s being heard and interpreted as “William cheats because it’s what his kind does”. The if is being buried by everyone who believes in the affair rumors because they’re citing those comments as incontrovertible proof. That sets many of us off because, again, there has been no evidence or proof that William has actually cheated and if there’s no evidence, why should we entertain otherwise?

[cleromancy]

one thing i think people miss when trying to nail down the like nitty gritty of like-- okay. so post-crisis post-resurrection Jason's a hypocrite, right? and hes purposely fancast himself as the villain opposite bruce in utrh.

but also even while Jason's doing this he *has a point,* and he *knows it.* Jasons got a lot of big moral ideas hes spouting, and from what we see, he mostly only abides by *some* of them. so while you're like acknowledging that utrh/lost days jay is motivated by his emotions and doesn't act in ways that align with his moral principles, but also he *keeps bringing **up** those moral principles*, you start to wonder like. What the hell is going on in that big brain of yours jay.

and what i was getting at. the thing i think most people miss or forget when exploring that. is jasons appearance in outsiders 2003.

im looking through the tpb so im not giving you the exact issue numbers for any of these panels sorry but its 44-46 plus the annual.

but here is the crux of the matter:

cutting for length!!

so whats going on here in outsiders! is that black lightning, aka Jefferson pierce, aka anissa pierces dad and one of the few really good dads in the dcu, got (basically) framed for murder by deathstroke; believed he (accidentally) actually did the murder; eventually turned himself in to serve his time in prison.

jason happens across this information entirely by accident, and goes out of his way to deliver that information to dickie, who has an on-again off-again relationship with being the leader of the outsiders at this point in time. and im just going to post a lot of it, both bc i like it and also so you see what Jason was going against JUST TO DELIVER THIS INFORMATION:

skipping the first page to save images but jason asks dick to meet up with him in Gotham; the next pages:

im skipping a bit of really enjoyable fighting after that as well but pls know its there. jason asked dick to meet up and dick fully said okay ill come to your rendez-vous *just* to beat the shit out of you. and he was so valid for that. but this aint about him so lets get back to jason:

why does jason bring this up + how does Jason come by this information? well

ok. now youre as caught up as dick is.

some times fools and jackanapes say to me. but sisky why would jason do this and bring this information to dick. why would he try to break black lightning out of prison. why would he do such a thing when he is a known knave, neer do well, scoundrel, etc. to which i say HE TOLD YOU!!! HE TOLD YOU WHY HE DID IT

JASON FUCKING VALUES THE *GOOD GUYS.*

(and also sidenote. winick is writing this so we have to assume he knows how competent and resourceful jason can be bc... as the guy who defined the character after his resurrection... he *made him that way.* so based on utrh we have to assume both that 1) jason could have pulled this prison break off solo and 2) jason *knows* he could pull it off solo...

but he also knows he's a Bad Guy now, and he realizes that *if* he sprung black lightning hed just fucking! turn himself back in! so jadon needs to convince some big goddamn heroes to do it....

so he goes to dick.)

((and also secondary sidenote. willis todd canoncially spent enough time in and out of prison that jason assumed hed wound up back there without telling him or catherine before she died and jason wound up squatting, and he only found out otherwise when he read the entry on the batcomputer on two-face.))

the point is. jason has a *lot* of moral ideas he is not, at this point in time, capable of living by for a variety of Jason Reasons, ill do more meta on that some other time. so he's inhabiting the bad guy role, but sometimes he keeps slipping and falling and accidentally caring about things, and...

god damn it dick, black lightning is one of the *good* guys. like *you're* one of the good guys. aren't you going to fucking help him??

i will probably elaborate on this more in the future as well. i just need to hit send rn LOL

[fruitysalamander1398]

not to be dramatic or anything and i'm sorry if this sounds like i'm just being whiny or whatever but genuinely not a single good thing has happened to me in like a month. even the really mundane things in my life are going to shit, like i'll wake up to some new life-altering thing and then later that day i burn my food and feel too nauseas to eat it anyways. i can't process anything that's happening because it's all happening so fast and my brain just can't handle one thing after another after another so i have no time to recover from any of it. i feel like everyday im just going through the motions and trying to distract myself because if i start thinking too hard about anything i just have a breakdown and can't function. i'm not handling any of this well and i am genuinely scared of what's going to happen next because i don't know if i am capable of handling it. i'm afraid to talk to anyone in my life about all of this, even my therapist, because i don't want to worry anyone and i don't even know how to use my voice. it feels like everyone around me is so happy right now and doing great things and i'm just falling apart and it's exhausting how easy it is to fool people into thinking i'm okay. i try to just focus on little things and enjoy the autumn weather and scenery because this is my favorite time of year usually. but i just can't keep up with everything. i feel like the last few years of my life, where things were starting to get really good, were all just a fluke. i feel stupid that i ever thought i could have so many good things happen to me. i don't know what i did to deserve all of this and i feel like the universe or whatever is punishing me for thinking that i could. i feel like i must be rotten inside and i can't believe i have anyone fooled into thinking otherwise.

[ahsokazworld]

So my other obsession of the month is wheel of time and I saw episode 7 and boy o BOY do I have major thoughts and I need to get them out.

Siuan?? What the hell? Following LONG ass post is in defence of Siuan because the general consensus there is right now about Siuan just doesn't rhyme for me.

ONE thing all of Siuan actions did, it brought out SO MUCH .

Liandrin drew out 1 dark friend (Moiraines nephew) and he consequently got locked away (or killed).

One Forsaken showed herself to an entire city, no more hiding or denying (at least not from the Aes Sedai because there were like 14(!) there)

Siuan clearly has doubts about Verin and Verin acted exactly as expected (now I think Verin has a lot more going on but hey 🤷🏼‍♀️)

When Siuan shields Rand, she pushes Moiraine to say all of her intentions with Rand and their decades build plans in front off Rand as if he is not there. Which Moiraine does to protect Rand from Siuan.

Siuan asks Rand if he has channelled carefully and deliberately (not verbatim but this is the general idea), which he hasn't. She scolds him for it and says that he hasn't learned much in 6 months, which is absolutely true.

Which leads to:

Moiraine is shielded (something I do not think Lan figured out on his own) and subsequently released of said shield by Rand when she tells Rand that she trusts him. When last season Moiraine very clearly showed that she doesn't. Rand needed to hear that from Moiraine. It pushed Rand to actually use the one power very DELIBERATELY and CAREFULLY otherwise, Moiraine dead. Now who again scolded Rand about that I wonder hmmm 🤔

Which brings me to the following and perhaps most important point:

Rand now 100% trusts Moiraine, he believes Moiraine does want to protect and guide him to save the world, which previously he didnt. He was confused about what was going on and felt like a toy being played from all sides. Siuan put Moiraine in an impossible situation and Moiraine chose Rand, the dragon reborn because she knows that is the right thing to do. Rand needed to be shown Moiriane will give everything to save the world including turning away from Siuan and being made to do something she does not want (closing the gate).

It is VITAL that he does because Moiraine will be the only one capable of providing Rand the protection and guidance that he needs to save the world. He only does at the end of this episode, which is nearly at the end of this season. They already lost too much time. Drastic extreme measures are unfortunately required because Siuan was right, Moiraines way wasn't working.

At the end of this episode due to Siuans actions, he doesn't trust any Aes Sedai, which is good because you know Black Ajah and doesnt trust the Forsaken, but he very clearly does trust Moiraine, and that WILL set him on the right path.

If I can trust book readers, Siuan is a very powerful channeler. However, like Egwene, it's her intelligence that is actually her greatest power. She is a crazy smart woman and nowhere near as impulsive, brash and stubborn as Moiraine, aka Pufferfish.

Something that stuck by me is that Siuan said "you have given everything, Im going to row beside you now". Siuan knows Moiraine will absolutely not let her. Moiraine is like Nyneave in that way. She would rather die than let anyone she loves do that.

Siuan has given up a lot this episode and put power back with Moiraine, leaving herself incredibly vulnerable, having lost her one true ally, Moiraine. Going back to a tower filled with enemies, she's f*cked, and she knows it, but she needs Moiraine focused on her mission, not on Siuans' potential downfall. Because that will definitely be a distraction for Moiraine.

There is no way in hell a Master chess player like Siuan would move her pawns so early and openly like she seems to be doing in this episode. That is not Siuan. Everyone in WOT world, though, needs to believe that she is (including Moiraine).

[dustteller]

Yknow, I think this passage really captures how Ouyang views Esen, especially in contrast with how Baoxiang views Esen. Ouyang geuinely believes the best of Esen, he genuinely belives that Esen is good and pure and kind and that it's himslef that is taining him into being otherwise. And while Ouyang is right in that he's technically responsible for Esen’s current emotional state (he did very much kill Esen’s dad and frame his brother for it, that is very much a thing he just did), for once it isn't his fault for the everything else going on with Esen?

I do think Esen is generally good-natured, and tries to be kind and generous to those he loves, but it's very clear that Ouyang has reduced him to JUST that in his head. He only sees Esen’s best qualities as inherent to him, and all the bad ones are Ouyang's fault somehow. He blames himself for Esen not understanding him (because there's something wrong with him, and even when he's mad at Esen for not caring enough to notice certain things he justifies it in his head by making it about his own unmanliness or whatever and Esen is just to perfect for that), for any failure in battle (yeah you're the general but Esen also approved this hes your boss dude), and generally for any moment where Esen exhibits less than stellar behaviour/capacity/etc. When in reality, we have a lot of moments where Esen is just sort of a dick, many of which are pre-ouyang (courtesy of HWDtW wbx flashbacks, which, granted, are also biased but my point still stands). We see Esen's constant and usually unjustified frustration with wbx and sometimes Ouyang, we see him be dismissive of the things they tell him, in the pre-order reward its pretty much stated that he makes a habit of dumping Ouyang outside brothels for hours while he goes inside to get laid, in one of his first scenes we see how much he enjoys it when Ouyang spends the whole morning tormenting Altan (altho tbf he kinda deserved it, altan suuuccckkss), and in general Esen just kinda treats people like crap sometimes. He's snapish and short-tempered and stubborn and imperious, loves whining about stuff, and is a shitty brother and best friend. He's got a lot of good qualities too, like how he's one of the few people that treats Ouyang with respect and tries to treat him as an equal, how his first reaction when wbx is insulted is to come to his defense (even if wbx usually foils his attempts by immediately clapping back and storming off), how we see him recognize he gets frustrated witj wbx too easily and tries to hold his temper back, how he immediately self-sacrifices to save Ouyang from his dad, how even after thinking wbx killed their dad he does really want to forgive him.

My point is, Esen is trying, but he's a very flawed human being, and Ouyang just can't seem to grasp that. He looks at him with rose-colored glasses. And it's so interesting that amongst all the shitty things Ouyang has done (and this duology really just is Ouyang and WBX fuck up yuan dynasty china to truly Epic proportions), the one he feels worst about is the one that isn't actually his fault (sorta). He may have killed Chaghan and been the catalyst for Esen's emotional blow up, but he isn't responsible for Esen having the capacity to burn WBX's books. That was Esen's decision. He hasn't somehow manipulated Esen into an eviler, crueler version of himself by virtue of existing evil-y and eunuch-y and revengefully im his vicinity. Esen was always capable of this, even if we take out Ouyang's actual manipulations, and I think this whole I-tainted-hin mentality really encapsulates how fucked up their relationship and Ouyang's mental state are in general. After all, Ouyang doesn't feel bad about the murder, or the framing, and he feels guilt about causing Esen pain, but most of all, he feels absolutely terrible that he's shattered what he sees as Esen’s purity, which in reality is mostly just the pedestal he himslef put him on. Man, what a fucked up little guy.

[squipdop]

But doesn't he want to become a god specifically to be the one Actually Good God that doesn't turn people away and instead helps them? His intentions with godhood are much different than Astarion's with ascension.

GREAT question! lets see if i can answer in a way thats coherent (Challenge: Hard). first things first: this is obviously all influenced by how *i* read these characters, and how *i* think their stories would go given the circumstances (plus a bit of what id *like* to see because a) player choice has a lot of influence on character development and b) these guys are all dolls in my playhouse and i like to have fun)

so; i do believe gale truly consciously *wants* to be an Actually Good God. im not at all arguing against that - i simply believe he would not actually *be* one. for one because i dont think any God can actually be purely Good, not from the mortals point of view, and especially not a God of a domain such as *Magic*? and how long can you listen to and help your worshippers, how long can you be patient and a just teacher and ruler, when you are so much above them? when you have so much more power than them, so much more knowledge, so much more time. not to mention anyone contesting your power or domain, mortal or otherwise.

pair this with gale not always being quiet as Good as he likes to think of himself as - he does not disapprove of astarions plans of ascension, he can stay with you after the goblin raid, he is fully willing to sacrifice not *only himself, but also your entire party and everyone in the vicinity the size of a city* for mystras forgiveness "the greater good" (MINI philosophical ramblings here, because thats another intresting angle but this is already getting long enough: yes, even in the name of the greater good, he is in this moment making the decision of sacrifice not only for himself, but for a WHOLE bunch of people without their consent or consideration.) this perhaps is a personal gripe with this flavor of utilitarism, but just think how this would scale onto near limitless power.

another aspect i personally see in gales want for godhood is his desire to feel worthy. i mentioned this in my tags earlier already, but i read gale in the "gifted kid who knows hes smart but still never feels quite enough to be worth loving" way? and just constantly trying to prove that - without ever being able to attain it, and as a God, who would even be there to hand out this approval? "am i worth loving yet" is just a question you cannot recieve a satisfying affirmation to if you dont trust others to make the call

as for comparison with astarion... i think astarions base desire for ascension comes from a need to feel *safe*, which he believes he can only attain through power over others. this is where im drawing my comparisons: astarions desire for power => safety, and gales desire for power => worthiness; both think power (ascension, godhood) could give them what they want, when this is simply untrue - astarion will not ever feel truly safe if he does not let himself heal and move on, and gale will never truly feel worthy enough if he does not detach his self worth from others approval (and his use to others)

in my post i specifically mentioned them in a relationship bc i love me some unhealthy bloodweave, and i think this is one of the most toxic ways they could be together, especially if theyre both hopelessly devoted to each other... (dreamy sigh) but i think this answer is already long enough so ill cut it off here

TL;DR: i think gale *wants* to be an actually Good God. i just do not think him capable.

[respectthepetty]

hi!! i can’t stop thinking about your wild-ass theory about saifah and how it feels like you’ve predicted the whole dang plot!

im thinking next episode is gonna be mostly happy and fluffy with a bit of angst about kang and his dad (otherwise you’d think they would’ve had the saifah getting arrested clip in the trailer for the episode). but then I reckon episode 9 is where shit’s gonna go DOWN (although it might also be episode 10, but it feels like there’s several subplots that’re gonna happen and they’re gonna need as many episodes as possible to unpack them while still having a satisfying ending)

anyway this isn’t really saying anything, I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your theories and reading your posts, and I also love dangerous romance this series is so good, it very very quickly became my entire personality and I can’t stop rewatching it hehe

BUT YEAH, I LOVE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY YOURE AWESOME FJEKEIFJEJEJFIEJE

Wild Ass Theory Update

@quodekash, because this is you giving me a compliment and me blushing from it, I'm giving you everything that has been stuck in my head over the past couple of weeks.

TLWR: Episode 8/9 - Kanghan is going to throw a tantrum about his dad paying for him to get on the team, spend all his dad's money on Sailom on a trip, and sleep with him, only to return home and see that his dad has been shot and Saifah had something to do with it causing him to question everything about Sailom.

Thank you very much for saying that you love my theories, and that I'm awesome, but I appreciate even more that you LOVE Dangerous Romance.

Because I, too, love it. An unreasonable amount, in fact. It makes me so happy even though I know some pain is headed our way.

And much like you, I think that pain is coming in episode 9. Now that Saifah is in Kang's house, we might see some warning signs in episode 8 in the shape of this beautiful giant red flag.

I feel more than confident that Papang is capable of stealing, but I don't think he has it in him to rob an employer's home or shoot someone, which is also a part of my theory (let the dad get shot, please!), so Name has to be involved!

But that's partly why I love this show. It has done a good job giving us crumbs along the way about what is to come, which is why I don't feel like it's a wild ass theory because I think Saifah does feel some type of way about Name enough to help him with a dumb plan.

Because even Kang's dad paying for Kang to get on the soccer team was implanted into the story well.

Since we knew from the first episode that he regularly donates money to the school for students, so it wouldn't seem out of the norm for some of that money to benefit his child as well.

Even Pimfah's crush on Sailom seemed written in stone to me from the first episode when the dog discussion came up since she stood firmly on the "show the dog love" side then continued to show Sailom love while Kang is in the "punish the dog" boat.

So, once again, I think the show has done a great job telling us Saifah is going to be involved in robbing that house, even if it's as simple as letting the actual robbers in. But robbing the house doesn't seem enough to split the couple up, which is why I think someone has to get shot.

DON'T LET IT BE THE GRANDMA! It must be the dad.

The grandma has to be the one to convince Kang to trust himself and his love for Sailom, so he can believe Sailom had nothing to do with this plot, and that Saifah didn't intend for anyone to get hurt.

The dad has to be shot because there is still tension between him and Kanghan, AND wouldn't it be interesting if the robbery (and shooting) were less about "eat the rich" and more of the political backstabbing variation?

So with all that being written, I think the robbery will happen either at the end of episode eight or the beginning of episode nine IF Kanghan finds out early in the episode that his dad paid for him to get on the team since Pimfah is going to drop this line in eight.

Would really suck for Kanghan to be focused and on the right path only for his last parent to get shot, and him be lost all over again, no? Would be awful for Kang to find out his dad paid his way onto the team, be pissed off about it, throw a tantrum, and use up all his money on a trip with Sailom where he tells him how much he loves him . . .

Spend the night with Sailom (possibly their first time together) telling him how much he appreciates Sailom for believing in him like the best version of a BL honeymoon

Only to return home and see his dad has been shot and think Sailom had something to do with it since Saifah is being arrested.

Kanghan will push Sailom away from guilt of being upset at his father who is now in the hospital and confusion of his feelings for Sailom, which means Sailom is going to have to start escorting again to make ends meet because Name is NOT in jail and still in charge of debts (10?)

Then Kanghan is going to assault Sailom. (10?)

The grandma is gonna be like "IDIOT!" and Kanghan is going to rescue Sailom (11?)

And Sailom is going to cry about having no one left, and Kanghan is going to be like "you still have me" (11?)

And then we get episode 12 where the real baddies go to jail.

*curtain closes*

The crumbs have been laid, and I'm following them all the way to grandma's house. Name x Saifah, don't just be my ghost ship.

Be the ship to cause some shit!

[cranetreegang]

Delving into the Mind - Ominis x FemReader

Choo Choo! All Aboard the Emotional Damage Train! Destination? Unresolved Childhood Trauma :) (low key tho, i've been going back and forth on posting this sooooo hopefully y'all like it)

Read this first -> Lessons into the Mind (i mean you don't gotta but im building off of that chapter)

Summary: In an attempt to strengthen his Legilimency, things take a turn for the worst and she's left wondering if it was worth it at all.

Word Count: ~2,400 words

Read my other Ominis Fics Here

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She’s chewing on her bottom lip as she reads over her History of Magic essay when she feels it - a riling intrusion gliding across her mind. This isn’t her first time feeling it. At times, the sensation is so faint and gentle she doesn’t notice it at first. But right now, it’s glaring and she has to shut her eyes to not succumb fully to the sensation. It’s jarring, but she slowly eases into it. 

The Undercroft is silent; save for the occasional turning of pages. She drifts from her papers over to Ominis - the source of the sensation. 

His wand skims over the pages of his Herbology book while he murmurs some of the words to himself. He has a loving smile playing on his lips and she wonders if he even realizes he’s doing it - similar to how his hand searches for hers when they’re walking. She’s noticed he does it frequently during times of stress. She’ll see the furrowing of his brow and the thinning of lip, followed by a soft smile as soon as his mind connects with hers. She’s grown to enjoy the odd feeling, as it lets her know he’s thinking about her. 

She believes he’s only reading her emotions and not her thoughts. Otherwise, she’s positive he would’ve said something by now. Although, she hasn’t been able to fully validate - as asking him directly would make him stop all together and she’s grown fond of all forms of his touches. A devious idea strikes her. There may be a way to further test her theory. She smirks as she focuses on one particular emotion. A strong one. She watches him carefully for his reaction.

In an instant, his brows raise and his hand seeks her out until he’s able to grasp her arm.

“Is everything okay?” His distress brings about guilt for making him so concerned. 

She pats his hand with a strained smile, “I’m sorry. I was just testing something.” 

“Oh.” His head turns away from her, but she can still see the red tinting his ears. The sensation vacates her mind abruptly. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Ominis.” She quickly says. “I know you don’t mean to.” She brushes his cheek - running her fingers over the dark dots on his handsome, heated face.

He slowly turns back to her with a frown, “I shouldn’t be doing it at all. It’s not fair to you that I can dig into your mind whenever I please. Intentional or not.” 

“But, I find it so endearing. Especially when we’re apart. It’s nice to know you’re thinking of me.” She smiles.

He blushes with a scowl, “I’m glad you find my prying ‘endearing’, instead of rightly concerning.” He lets out a heavy exhale and he shuts his eyes, “We shouldn’t have entertained this. I don’t have control over it. And I don’t know why I keep gravitating to you.” 

She grabs his other hand, “How can you begin to control it, when you don’t know what it is you’re doing?” 

She squeezes his hands, “I believe you’re so hesitant of this because you don’t fully understand what you’re capable of. And there’s no better way to figure that out than by practicing. We can find your limits. Build your restraint.” 

“I would rather not practice such an intrusive ability on someone I care deeply about.” He snaps, his eyes narrowing.

She strokes the top of his hands with her thumbs and he eases from his bristled state, “You were so close to viewing an actual memory last time. Doesn’t that somewhat entice you?” 

He grimaces, “Of course it does. Doesn’t mean I should partake in such notions. I don’t possess enough restraint as is. Encouraging this any more - is reckless. You may find it ‘endearing’ now, but all it takes is one time for me to go too far.”

He squeezes her hands, “And I’d rather not lose you.”

She bites her lip as she takes in the concern written on his face. She cups his cheek and he practically melts into her touch - his eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a quiet sigh.

“I hear you. And I understand. We don’t have to keep practicing your Legilimency. I would never want you to do something you don’t want to. And I most certainly don’t want you to feel guilty about any of this.”

She strokes his cheek with a soft smile, “I also think you’re far more capable than you realize. And you have enough self control to not do anything rash. More than you give yourself credit for. Which is why I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else, but you, Ominis. I trust you.” 

He closes his eyes, pressing her hand more into his cheek. His head rests against hers with a sigh. He wishes she wasn’t so reasonable all the time.

“You are such a stubborn witch.” He pulls away with a sure nod. “Fine. But, you must keep your promise from last time. As soon as you feel even a slight bit of discomfort-,”

“I will let you know as soon as it happens. I promise.” She reassures him with a squeeze of his hand.

They shift to sit across from each other with their hands clasped together. He has his eyes closed, taking in deep breaths, before he slowly opens them. She meets his eyes and she’s immediately drawn in. He gasps.

“It’s even easier than last time.” He murmurs.

The pool of her current emotions is a familiar place to him. He uses this to ease him into the far more chaotic part of her mind. He braces himself as he’s assaulted by all of his senses. It’s like he’s touching a hundred different things all at once - coarse wood, silky fabrics, warm skin. He smells everything ranging from pleasant flowers, hearty foods, earthy mud, and disgusting rubbish. It’s the sounds which disorients him. A hundred upon a hundred conversations all happening at once - all talking over each other and he has to shut away the strong emotions tied to them. 

He’s beginning to be dragged down by the deluge and he can’t take much more. He wants it to stop. He wants it all to stop.

With a sudden surge, he demands everything to cease. To his surprise, the whirlwind he’s in dissipates. He lets out a relieved sigh. With his new found control, he begins to search for something in particular. Something familiar - something which resonates within her the most. Damp grass and rocks crushing underfoot, followed by the rich noises of the forest let him know he’s close to something.

There. 

He senses the same thing from last time. He’s quick to snatch it before the strand can escape. He forgets how to breathe as an image manifests before him. 

It’s the sky. 

He knows this is the sky even though he’s not sure how. It’s like he’s gazed up at this a hundred times before - and he almost feels unimpressed. He laughs to himself at how amazing it must be to find this to be an uninteresting sight. He wonders what sights do capture her intrigue - what she deems truly breathtaking, instead of mundane. They must be undeniably spectacular. But, he’s content with staring at the sky in total awe. Picking it apart piece by piece.

The first thing he admires is the blue - it evokes him the most. He knew colors could be rich and provoking, as described by numerous tomes and poems he’s read, and he’s shocked to see how true it all is. He finds blue to be a calm, pleasing color - one he could spend hours gazing at. Next, he takes in the gentle, white clouds rolling by. They’re impossibly fluffy with deep pockets of gray at their hearts. A tear rolls down his cheek at the memory frozen in his mind. 

More.

He wants to see more. 

He indulges, but instead of seeing more of the memory, he’s met with several. There’s so much flooding into him - too much. Images flash past until they all blur together. Smells and sounds take the rest of his senses and he’s left paralyzed. It’s like a searing knife is cutting right into his skull. He’s being tossed around in a whirlwind and he can’t stop it.

He doesn’t realize he’s fallen over and is laying on the ground until he hears her calling his name.

“Ominis?” He hears her whimper. 

He forces his hand to find hers and he grasps onto her. He hears her sigh of relief in return. She shifts closer to him and he does the same until she’s able to press herself against his side. He drags her onto his chest and she buries herself into him - calming herself with his scent. 

“That was… Merlin…,” She gasps - her head pounds against her skull. She wonders if she’s going to be sick with the way the sweat clings to her brow and her stomach flops. 

“Do you see the dangers of this now?” He hisses and shakes at how her voice whimpered out his name. Even now, the remnants of her fear and hurt lingers and twists at his heart - making his disgust with himself worsen. “I knew this was a mistake.” 

She closes her eyes to keep her tears at bay. Everything is too much yet not nearly enough. The lingering moment she experienced surfaces through her muddled thoughts. 

“I-I saw one of your memories.” She whispers. 

He says nothing, so she looks over to him. He’s turned slightly towards her, awaiting for her to speak, but otherwise he’s motionless. His memory begins to form more clearly, so she continues,

“You’re playing with a toy. A wizard. It’s your favorite.”

She stares at her palm with a slight smile, “You can feel the wood grain under the chipped paint and you know every nick and mark on it. The sun warms your face and you’re so happy.” She pauses with a frown, “Then you hear something. It’s your brother, Marvolo. You recognize his footsteps as they come towards you. You’re scared. And he… he teases you.” She shudders as Marvolo’s words repeat in her mind. 

“Then he rips the toy from your hand. He laughs so cruelly as he burns it. The smoke stings your nose. But, you refuse to cry. You know you can’t cry in front of him. It’ll only make it worse.” She gasps at the ferocity of which these emotions emanate within her. His emotions - from a past he tries so hard to keep buried.

“It feels like this memory is my own. Like I lived through it.” She notices the pensive expression upon his face and she strokes his cheek to ease his frown.  

“I’m so sorry, Ominis. I know you said they were horrible, but I never realized…,” She pauses as she recounts what he told her.

“How dare your father say-,” her voice cracks and she has to regain herself. “You experience the world in such a beautiful way. How you smell and hear,” she brings his hand up to her face and his eyes soften, “The way you touch, it’s all so heightened. You notice the tiniest of details - details that I’ve never observed before.  And I’m thankful I got to experience it as well. Even if it was an unpleasant memory.” 

He shudders - closing his eyes as he does - and he presses his forehead to hers. She’s so very warm, he thinks to himself. 

“I saw the sky.” He whispers. “It was beautiful.” 

He laughs with a slight smile. “I never thought I’d ever see such a thing. And now I have. And it was beautiful.”

She beams, “I want to show you so much more, Ominis.” 

His smile fades as he recalls the terror he put them through - at the greed he felt and didn’t control.

He shakes his head, “No. It’s not worth it.” 

“It is. I want to give this to you.” 

“It’s not to me.” He whispers. 

“But, we’re so close, Ominis. I can feel it.” She sits up. “One more time. I think I know what might help.” Her voice is full of excitement and it makes him want to be sick.

‘Let me help you, my sweet, darling.’

His mother’s sickly, sweet voice whispers in his ear and the ghost of her long fingers card through his hair. He shakes his head at the recollection.

He closes his eyes while his face scrunches from his head pounding. He sits up and he clutches her hand.

“Why? Why do you insist we keep trying?” He murmurs. “I thought you only wanted me able to feel you when you’re away - gallivanting the countryside and risking your life. Why are you insisting we delve into your memories?” 

“Of course I want you to be able to sense me when I’m away. But, you’re also so close to being able to-,”

“To what? See?” He snaps his head over to her with a sneer. “Was this your true reason all along? Is this your attempt to ���fix’ me as well?” 

The way he says ‘fix’ makes her flinch and a bitter coldness floods her entire being.

“What?!” She exclaims, her eyes wide and her mouth parted. “N-no! That’s not at all-,”

“I am not some broken thing that needs mending!” He hisses. “You, and everyone else, seem to think that I must see, when no one has bothered to ask if that’s even remotely what I wanted.” His face contorts into a cold, harsh expression. 

She shakes her head, “No, that’s not at all why. I-I just thought-,”

“I never asked for this! For any of this!” His hand practically throws hers away, “You’re just as irresponsible and selfish as Sebastian. You both don’t know when to stop.” 

He turns his head away from her, “Leave me.” 

The command takes the air from her chest and freezes the blood in her veins. 

“Ominis.” She reaches for him and he backs away with a scowl.

“I said, leave me alone!” He snarls. 

She gasps, flinching away from him. Her lip trembles and she hurries to her feet. She feels his mind leave hers like a cold gale - shutting her out with a finality which twists her stomach and rips her heart a part.

“I-I’m sorry.” She whispers, her voice breaking and her eyes blur. She runs out of the Undercroft with his cold gaze haunting her long after she’s gone. 

------------------------------------

Read Next Part Here

AN: ...yeah... hopefully this wasn't too much cause im pretty excited about this next part. like dudes, i need to do all my angst writing during my period cause i was popping off. and funny enough, this was actually gonna be one chapter with a happy ending. but it felt... idk alright. so anyways, here we are.

also... I really, really, really like bonds. I'm sorry, im a whore for them and i am currently building up for them to be bonded together. why you may ask?? idk cause im insane and i do what i want. im ungovernable. and i may or may not fully understand what the heck Legilimency is. and if i'm totally wrong about it all -> AnCiEnT mAGiC™

Thanks again for reading and feedback is always appreciated <3

[stardustizuku]

sorry for using your inbox as a confessional im too scared to post in a tag where everyone knows each other. anyway the thing i think is most interesting about wilfried is how sylvester is characterized by his treatment of his failson. bc like the obvious answer after the ivory tower incident and at like eight other points in the story was to demote wilfried to an archnoble or to put him in the temple. bonifatius should have served as sylvester's very obvious example that like. an archducal family member can thrive and be better off if they're not forced into archducal competition beyond doing the training just in case everyone else dies. and ferdinand should have shown him that sometimes being put in the temple or otherwise demoted is better than being a target in noble society. especially once rozemyne shows up and hes repeatedly shown the ways the temple is improving and the importance of it to the duchy's functioning. and yet even in his conversation with bonifatius in i think book 5 hes so against it he would rather disown rozemyne. which you could interpret as him thinking that even if he understands all that that noble society will continue to target wilfried but it also implies that on some level sylvester did and maybe still does think that bonifatius and ferdinand have reached "bad ends", despite caring deeply for them and intellectually understanding that they are better off not being the aub. bc it's not like wilfried is completely incompetent, he's just terrible at politics. he's a skilled warrior and when he's not being coddled he's fully capable of buckling down and getting work done. but even though sylvester has been told exactly that by several people, after sylvester finally gives up on having wilfried be the unambiguous heir he's still very clearly trying to leave the path open for him when wilfried has obviously and repeatedly been shown to not have a talent or even really a desire for the position outside of not wanting to be a target and charlotte has been here the whole time. honestly sylvester's basically only done harm by reinforcing that him losing the seat WOULD be a bad thing instead of trying to improve conditions for non-candidate archducal family members if he's so worried about the fate of failsons. like idk i just think its interesting especially in light of the most recent chapter that sylvester certainly cares for rozemyne and doesn't want her to be forced into a position she doesn't want, but, like, he is still a noble, it's just that rozemyne is frequently sheltered from that fact because his interests and hers so frequently overlap. sylvester being a good guy who is still very much a noble is actually my favorite thing about him, way too often in isekai stories you get a prankster noble whose carelessness is played off as cute or funny even when it would have extremely real consequences, so having sylvester be a dude who clearly means well but is in no way immune from reinforcing systemic injustice even in his own family is very interesting. although i get why myne doesn't really clash with him over it, i do sometimes wish they kept the somewhat adversarial relationship they had in early aob and i hope that charlotte gets to conflict with sylvester more

Hi! Thank you for sharing! I was a bit busy and didn't notice the ask, but you make a great point.

Sylvester is a very well meaning guy, who sometimes (in an effort to avoid his children suffering) can be blindsided and ignore the truth.

In his case, regarding Rozemyne and Wilfred, he ignores them both in regards to what they want/need, in favor to what he believes they need.

Yes, he would rather Wilfred be the next aub and sorta of forces the position on him. But he also forces the idea of Rozemyne as his second hand, then wife, on her. He's genuinely trying to help, but he gets blinded by his own past. For a very, very long time he saw himself in Wilfred, and Ferdinand in Rozemyne.

But, even when Wilfred explicitly said he did not want it - the reason why Sylvester didn't accept him relinquishing the position was actually Rozemyne herself.

I can assume it was a huge blow, since granting Wilfred his wish would mean making Rozemyne (a commoner) into an Aub and he couldn't bring himself to do that, for various reasons. He knows Ferdinand would not allow it, it would cause problems with Florencia, and more importantly: Rozemyne herself would hate it. Sylvester actually does care for Rozemyne, in the few ways he can allow himself to care.

He knows that Rozemyne wants nothing to do with politics. She wants to make books and hang out in the temple and with commoners. At that point, keeping them together was not to give Wilfred "what he wanted", but to KEEP Rozemyne and give her what she wanted (and what he duchy needed).

Sylvester is truly a unique interesting case, because he's well-meaning, but messes up sometimes. No one can be sure if his actions are 100% correct, or if it was the best option. But nevertheless, he does try to clean up after the messes he causes, and protect his people.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

hi again 👋👋👋 anyway i would LOVE to hear any thoughts you might have about fake pep and his interactions with other characters if you're amenable to that! i love him and there is So Much going on there and you always have stellar hcs so id love to hear them!!

Ive been shying away from drawing/writing anything with fake peppino bc frankly ur right; there IS so much going on with him 😭 so much so that it almost feels impossible to settle on something concrete 😭 This is also bc I link Fake Peppi and Pizzahead together, which means I also have to work on characterizing that punk 😭😭😭 But I will still try to get my thoughts out

(OKAY THIS IS REM FROM THE FUTURE OR PAST OR SOMETHING AND IM HERE TO SAY THAT I RAMBLED SO FUCKING LONG THAT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE ACTUAL ASK OF THIS FUCKING ASK!!! I JUST TALKED ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND DIDNT WRITE A SINGLE INTERACTION. SO UM. THIS ASK IS NOW ABOUT FAKE PEPPI AND ONLY FAKE PEPPI IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭 ILL GO MORE IN DEPTH W DYNAMICS N SUCH SOME DAY BUT NOT TODAY)

Fake Peppino is Not the first clone; hes one of the Last ones Pizzahead worked on. The ones you see in the war level are the closest, appearance wise, to Peppino, but they arent the brightest and will often behave like [insert test subject] but with Peppinos face on it. The emphasis on appearance first resulted in some physically identical, but otherwise, dull witted clones.

Fake Peppi was the first attempt at replicating Peppinos actual personality over appearance and it works moderately well, its just that. Hes a little funky lookin. Which is okay! Its the first attempt !! He’ll get more time to try again! They give Fake Peppi a little run down shop to manage (that he almost immediately converts into a pizzeria) while they work on perfecting the clones. But then Peppino actually storms the tower after being threatened w the Pizzeria Begone Beam, and hes tearing through portals so quickly that Pizzahead literally has No Time to try and work on these new clones. Fake Peppi is the First of this new experimental line of clones, and hes one of the Last. (Said bc i do intend on making my own little peppi clone someday heehee)

Fake Peppi passes as a pretty Normal creature. Hes a bit Tall but not absurdly above average. I drew him pretty goopy and lanky on my first (and only ) attempt at drawing him, but the more i think about it, the more I want him to just be a taller, slightly offputting Peppino. I like the idea someone had of Fake Peppi mimicking the stylized, cartoonish logo design of the pizzeria, so hes got a bit of a doofy lookin face. Its very round, with soft looking eyes and permanent blush on his cheeks. When hes trying to look Less Scary (bc he is a bit aware now that hes a little Off), you can see his mouth on his face like a Normal person. When hes relaxed and/or unfocused, it kind of just. Disappears. It makes his face look kind of like a little butt or a peach heehee

Fake Peppi acts pretty similarly to Real Peppino. Hes quick to anger, and quick to frighten. Hes a bit of a goof and he likes to entertain (which completely threw pizzahead off; hes like thats. Not right? Is it??). He has more or less the same mental capacity as Peppino, shares similar skills and hobbies, and enjoys the same kinds of food that Peppino does (with mild variation). Hes very relaxed and easygoing with a tendency to act a fool and be a little playful, which leads Pizzahead to believe that despite what hes personally seen (from stalking this poor man), Peppino is Also inherently a bit of a fool and a little playful and also capable of being relaxed and easygoing.

Fake Peppi is prone to the same kind of anxiety and panic attacks that Peppino has, only he does not have decades of experience with them to know how to manage it. So the time he spends with Pizzahead is Not the smoothest. The combination of Just Being Created and having Crippling Panic Attacks leaves him with an almost Blank Slate, memory wise, by the time hes left with the pizzeria. When Pizzahead visits Fake Peppi again to give him the lift key; hes basically a stranger to him :0

(Peppino tries to help with some grounding techniques for panic attacks, but since they Both default to self soothing stims, hes not that much help 😭)

Conversations are as smooth as they can be with his garbled speech; he can understand what hes being told, and he will write down what he Wants to say with pen and paper. Eventually, he ‘upgrades’ to a phone with proper text to speech, so he uses that quite often. I know the backwards speech is canon (or at the very least extremely popular) but its very hard for me to read and parse in my head, so i am deciding against that 😭

Hes hard to understand bc despite having a similar vocal pitch to Peppino (a bit high), it rubberbands in a way that makes it sound incredibly croakey and scratchy. The more excitable he is, the more incoherent he becomes. With (immense) effort, he can speak clearly, but its almost as difficult as someone trying to suppress their stutter; hes much more comfortable using his phone to talk. I can see him learning sign language at some point; Peppino does Not know sign language but he IS capable of learning, which means Fake Peppi is Also capable of learning.

Overall Fake Peppi is Peppino with enough variance to give him his own personality. Some of the things he does shines a bit of a light on Peppinos personality; its like, if Peppino DIDNT have to struggle with a failing business and crippling debt and being drafted into a fucking war, what kind of Peppino would you get? And as a surprise to Pizzahead, its a relatively sweet and goofy guy!! And if he took the time to interact with the Real Peppino instead of an idealized version of him (like pepperman and vigilante have started doing) then he would see that. Oh well.