#I have the same rants as everyone else but also a lot of things I really enjoyed
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
back with another opinion that I guarantee has been said before but I think autistic people who don't have an intellectual disability really need to speak to people who do
#I do not have an intellectual disability but my brother does#and I have dated and been friends with lots of people who do#at varying degrees of presentation#and I am autistic and I am pretty much what my psychologist just calls level 1.5#and the lines between IDs and ASD get blurred a lot#and I think bc of that a lot of autistic ppl overstep their boundaries#idk like its very hard for me to put into words but the experiences can be very different#mainly here talking about if youre closer to level 1#but i feel some ppl sort of just claim things that arent theirs/ours if that makes any sense#like yes asd is a spectrum but not everything relates and is the same and is about everyone equally#i also just very much think they need to be listened to more and have their voices boosted#let them be a bigger and more represented part of the autistic community and general neurodivergent community#and i also think people need to be more understanding and patient towards them#bc some people come at them hitting them with the same standards they do with everyone else when thats not how that works#idk idk if this makes sense or came across the way i mean#but i just notice a lot how like the ppl in my life are treated vs how i am treated like in real life#and how online that's like not talked about at all a single bit and their existence is ignored#it just saddens me to see#idk rant over#autistic#actually autistic#intellectual disability#learning disability#cognitive disability#neurodivergent#asd#autism#z
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
SO! I've wanted to talk about The Clip all day but felt like I should wait until the tumblr "premiere" (even though I think you were literally one of the first people to see it on Twitter lol). Thank you for defending my honor btw even if I am just Someone <3
But. Yes. Yeah. Yokoyama's absolute certainty in saying that??? Without anything to even buffer it? No maybe. No "don't expect too much." Just point-blank in front of a huge fan (whom I believe he's now going to be working with), a staff member, and a massive audience. As if that part isn't the matter of contention. I WILL be injecting those words directly into my veins for some time.
I was on the verge of choking and/or spewing blood and/or crying before posting it though lol, so I really appreciate the vote of confidence regarding the translation and I love your redraw! The reception as a whole has been really nice, although I wish people would keep it to themselves if they'd rather have Nishiki or Ryuji back or whatever. Not like it's a race, but even if it was, Mine's been in last place for ages lol.
And while I enjoy Y3's writing more than most, Mine's death wasn't some Grand Meaningful Statement, it was the decision of a fledgling studio that never knew if it would be able to keep making these games trying to tell a self-contained story. It did have far-reaching consequences for the series, but those consequences are also... not really relevant anymore?
Like, I can and have argued that Mine's death caused the fall of the Tojo Clan, but the clan has already fallen. So I don't see why some people are acting like revisiting his character would be A Spit In The Face to the saga somehow, but I guess I've never really been against characters being brought back...? A quote from the staff that's always stuck with me from the staff is that RGG is always going for RGG-ism, not realism.
Ranting aside... I honestly don't know if I should be saying this, but there's this new guy working the counter at Survive in some LaD8 behind the scenes footage. Now, upfront, I'm 99.8% sure it's not Mine (I happen to have a 100% accuracy rate so far identifying major RGG characters from extremely blurry images and silhouettes lmao), and I have no idea who it is, whether it's a new character or an old one heavily redesigned or Just Some Guy.
But he's not Kashiwagi. And he happens to have slicked-back dark brown hair with what appears to be an ahoge in some angles. And, unless the materials are temporary, he also dresses A Lot Like the celebrity Mine's design was based on. And his features... line up closely enough to piss me off, even though they don't fully match in the end, which is why I don't think it's him.
I'm in argumentative essay mode 100% of the time which is why I'm saying this in a "convincing" tone despite literally not believing it myself, but like... wouldn't that be something? To just have Mine part-timing at Survive or whatever and no one makes a big deal of it because they don't know any better? If nothing else, I really do think he should get The Bartender Treatment.
I dunno, I might post about it with a comparison tomorrow because it's been on my mind lately, especially with The News, but I really don't want people to get the wrong idea either. Or embarrass myself if it was too tenuous of a link to look that deeply into from the start lol
I remember seeing it two minutes after you posted it, so I can imagine I was one of the first to the scene of the crime (so my friends put it LMAO). AND OF COURSE I- and a lot of us- can't be any more grateful for all the work you do than we already are. I'd go insane trying to document and manage everything you do! especially when you have insane people like me ready to pounce on the smallest thing like I know I'd cry FJLKAJ The least I can do is give a proper title/credit to you when I can o7
If Yokoyama had any remaining hesitance about Mine being alive, then he REALLY would have fumbled by sounding so certain. Like in his old tweet, he certainly sounded more ambiguous, but this time he really had no extra notes and sounded more sure of himself. I won't expect RGG to do anything with Mine, but the concept is still very much exciting and the idea that Yokoyama almost seems earnest about the idea of bringing Mine back for whatever reason is very nice to know :] And thank you about enjoying the art I did! I can't lie in the slightest, since the last ask where you alluded to posting the clip, I had that drawing saved in the back of my head ready to make once you had that posted LMAO
But oohh not to touch drama since I generally try to Not touch it, but yeah I can't act like I haven't seen some people be. ""Interesting"" about the idea of Mine being alive. I won't dive too deep into it, but I think my major issue with the few grievances I've seen is that RGG hasn't done anything with Mine's alive status. As of right now, it's just a thing Yokoyama said, so I don't understand the need to be so angry about it (it's especially weird to say Ryuji hasn't been back when he not only got to be a playable protagonist in Dead Souls, but he was also the protagonist of RGGO- though I suppose I can understand wanting him in the mainline series again. Still, it's weird to act as though Mine's back any more than he is and being upset about it just because Yokoyama said he was alive)...
Moving on though, I'm really curious as to this 'mystery figure' you mean. I've been missing out on LaD8 production material, so I haven't seen this bit myself but I'd love to take a stab at it and analyze myself too. I agree though: if Mine does come back- whether he's working at Survive or anywhere else- I would greatly prefer if he had The Bartender status and was just never really called attention to and only existed in the background
#long post#snap chats#it'd be hilarious if mine came back and he was just there... just slap glasses o him and call it a day#like pleeaaasssee that'll be so funnyy if he does come back in LaD8 i dont want a dramatic reveal or whatever#i want the exact same shit like with kashiwagi just have the gang like. visit daigo and co at the security company#and the bitch at the front desk You Wouldnt Fucking Believe It Oh My God#i'd laugh so loud oh my god pleaaase yokoyama do it. you should also make ryuji just a random takoyaki salemen in 8#just so we're covering our bases here because im a ryuji-just-sells-octopus-balls truther#oh but on Mine's Death Fucked With The Tojo i definitely support the notion that he was a huge. Forgive The Pun asset to it#like i guess there's a lot of speculation and suggestions- at least on my end- when it coems to mine's importance#i mean we KNOW he was incredibly impotrant financially if katsuragi was anything to go off of#and listen ik i make the Widow Daigo joke a lot but geniunely i can imagine if daigo lost someone close to him he wouldnt be 100%#liiiiikkee i'll reserve the rant/ramble for my Daigo Essay but im just saying it cant be easy running a ship on your own with no real peers#yk cause pretty much everyone was older than him or only there for an ulterior motive and Blah Blah ill save the rest for another day#im rambling as is LMAO and i dont wanna say anythin FOOLISH#but yeah on mine coming back tho i dont think itd really tarnish any kind of thing his death could have done#like he died. or 'died'. 15 years ago (at the time of 2024)#the tojo's long gone by then it's been gone for five years at that point so it's not like mine would just Resume As Usual#he'd be starting over just as much as the other tojo clan members are yk what i mean#like i really cant think of. what else mine's death has done for the franchise that wolud be 'undone' if he was back#so yk. Why Not. it'd be funny and i think that's the only thing that matters ☠️ my dedication to the bit lets me forgive Insane Shit LMAO#but thats enough blabbering from meeeee thank you for writing in !
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my date is tmrw.. nervous… but at least we moved the time back and now have an hour to kill until the place we’re going to opens and my idea is to go to the park or something which would mean i would not have to drive a single unfamiliar route not a single unfamiliar turn or anything. which i would have had to do (one single unfamiliar turn) otherwise and it was making me so anxious
#okay i need to stop thinking about it bc even just the thought of driving is making me anxious rn#turned out of a lot when i probably shouldn’t have today like it was a close call & i got honked at ☹️#i HATE getting honked at not only does it mean someone’s mad at me and thinks i’m stupid#but also it alerts EVERYONE ELSE to the dumb thing i just did 💀💀#i hateeee driving everyone is so mean in cars ☹️ i feel like i’m the only person who has any sympathy for other drivers#if someone makes a mistake or wtv i’m like ‘been there buddy it’s all good’#or i assume they have a reason. like i never get mad at people when i’m driving i’ve never honked at a single person#bc i don’t want to make anyone feel bad 😭#but everyone else gets road rage or is like ‘psh look at that idiot’ or wtv#and i’m sitting in the passenger seat knowing i’ve made the exact same mistake like🧍🏻#sighhhhhhhhhhhhh#ghost rants
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
cont...
still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#continuing the rant in a reblog or i will go insane because i shant leave this business unfinished#he doesn't allow himself to properly handle emotions. ever. i was talking to a friend about this the other day but the ninja all cry#in different ways. nya and kai (due to their upbringing) struggle with emotional regulation and so when theh cry they BAWL. such as nya#bawling head in hands after zane died. and then kai who bawled head in hands when nya died in s6. when lloyd cried in s8 (maybe 9..?) he#shed several tears. he silently cried but i attribute this to not wanting harumi to get the emoitonal upper hand on him. then there is jay#who (when upset) will make it everyone elses problem. hes a free crier what he feels is real and he will express that. THEN YOU HAVE ZANE#zane first cries in tick tock post after turning on his memory switch. it was in response to his father's final message to him#“im only doing this because i love you' sort of deal. he cried one singular tear and moved on. he had to keep fighting. no time to dwell#on this crazy revelation because he needs to help the ninja. their needs over his. the 2nd (and final time according to my memory) time is#right before he dies in s3. one singular tear at the thought of his father and then he dies. anytime there is a huge loss zane does a lot o#the comforting. him comforting kai during nyas death in s6 and also during coles assumed death in s10. anytime he feels bad#he pushes his needs down. insert him literally turning off his emotions because his productivity was low. this behavior is less apparent#in the earlier seasons (just bc tonally the show is different) but it is still there. big fan of how hes written in this episode bc theres#so many little things. he was the one who took out the trash even though he never threw any food. he took his apron off near the trash cans#like he was going to throw it away + his dislike of pink later. he decides to follow the falcon after hearing the ninja laugh from outside#the gate. he made food as an apology for 'ruining' the dinner prior even though that wasnt even what happened. hes always trying#to make up for things that you cant make up. no one will be in the wrong but he will feel as if it falls on him. he is always chasing#what he cannot reach. s11 his message where he says he hasnt achieved his goal of protecting others yet. its a cycle that will never end#and that characterization is present HERE its so fun to me. zane being an entirely different perso but the same at the same time fucks me u#'i am just a replica' but in the 'im a shell of who i used to be way' later zane is very much zane still. bad writing doesnt make that#apparent though. i dont think zane now should behave 100% like zane in s1. i miss him then too BUT he has changed. out of all the ninja#hes done the most character degression... if that makes sense? hes still the same guy with the same issues. but with even more issues now#i think thats about it.#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#<- so that was a lie LMFAO
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
drunk in love | yjh
NSFW | MDNI!!
genre: friends -> fwb -> lovers, angst, smut, fluff
pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
WC: 6.7k
cw: drinking, angry jeonghan bc i said so, smut, exhibitionism pretty much, spanking, degradation (he calls you a "slut" and "whore" a couple times :3), unprotected sex, creampie, choking, cucking (poor josh but also he had it coming), pet names ("pretty girl", "baby", and "princess"), oral (f rec), little bit of butt stuff, mc has a LOT of internal thoughts/ dialog lol, possessive jeonghan, possessive jeonghan, and possessive jeonghan. lmk if i missed anything !!
synopsis: when a game of truth, dare, or drink with the boys turns to shit (thanks to hoshi and josh), jeonghan has no choice but to prove himself to be the best dick you've ever had ): (SPOILER: he is. oh he most definitely IS the best dick you've ever had)
! nsfw content below the cut. mdni !
you’ve known the boys for years.
you’d met mingyu back in your senior year of highschool. both of you being on the friendly, outgoing side of introversion, he knew he had to introduce you to his rather large group of friends once you guys graduated.
and wow was your life was never the same.
you had a group of down to earth boys (men) who all looked after you like no one else had. a friend group that people could only ever dream of. no one got upset if you chose to hang out with only one of them for a day, rather than the whole group. if you wanted to go out clubbing with your girlfriends, they all knew you had 13 body guard options to call before heading out. and the best part, your best friend of the group might as well be a professional chef. you never had to worry about going hungry or even cooking as long as you had mingyu around.
other than mingyu, you ended up gravitating toward minghao, jihoon, seungcheol, and jeonghan. almost entirely separate, but sometimes you, seungcheol, and jeonghan would go out on a weeknight for some 2am ihop.
the last thing you or anyone else had expected however, was for you and jeonghan to develop a “situationship” of sorts together.
over the last couple months, you both started developing what you thought were strictly sexual feelings toward each other. now, you weren’t so sure. you knew your feelings were turning into something far deeper than just lust, but you quickly tried to shut them down in fear of ruining your initial friendship with him. tried to. you also were terrified to face those feelings because… you had no idea how he felt. other than the occasional secret or rant that he needed to share with you that he couldn’t share with the boys, jeonghan was pretty emotionally reserved. you had NO idea how he actually felt about you beyond friendly and horny.
until that night.
-
truth, dare, or drink was a game that you played with the boys every once in awhile when you guys were feeling frisky. normally, it came to one of your brains once you guys had already been drinking through the night.
in tonight’s game, jeonghan thought it’d be funny to dare jihoon to lean over and give you a kiss. childish. so childish. you could tell he just didn’t have any better idea in his buzzed brain.
“awww don’t be a pussy, jihoon!” jeonghan taunted him. he was leaning backward due to you being sandwiched between the two boys at the table, jihoon to your left, jeonghan to your right.
“nah i’m not touching her, hannie. you’re funny” jihoon chuckled, throwing back the clear liquid.
“heyyyy rude!” you pouted, crossing your arms playfully, a smile threatening to pull at your mouth.
“tsss…” jihoon put down the shot glass. “jeonghan would kill me, y/n” he chuckled. then, “ow!” he yelled, still laughing.
you whipped your head to jeonghan who was… glaring at jihoon? he’d smacked him upside the head and you had no idea why. you thought jihoon making that comment was just to poke fun at the fact that everyone knew you and jeonghan were basically fuck buddies. however, jeonghan didn’t find it very funny for whatever reason. you playfully pushed his face telling him to lighten up. to that he faintly smiled before putting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together in front of his face. he looked like a cartoon villain. what was he so upset about?
“anyways…” you were the next to talk. “soonyoung! your turn!” you enthused leaning back in your seat to look at the boy to the right of jeonghan.
soonyoung jumped out of his seat before nearly screaming, “Y/N!”
“oh fuck.” jihoon mumbled looking into his lap. you broke eye contact with soonyoung to look at jihoon in confusion.
“i’m so sorry to do this.” you looked back up at soonyoung. what the fuck is going on?
“man i swear, if you don’t keep your mouth shut,” jihoon stood up from his chair.
“what? i have to ask!”
“no, no you don’t.” jihoon’s voice was threateningly low, and you now thought you had a hunch as to what’s about to happen. your heart started to race.
“is it true that you and hoon hooked up at last year’s halloween party?!”
“i’m gonna beat your fucking ass-“
you pushed your chair out blocking jihoon’s path before he could follow through. you shot your arm out for good measure to make sure he didn’t try to pass you. he silently turned around and sat back in his chair.
when you turned back around to face soonyoung, you couldn’t help but feel jeonghan’s eyes burning holes into you along with everyone else’s.
“dude, why?” you asked in a low tone.
“whaaaat the game was getting boring! i had to spice things up a bit,” he teased putting a hand on his hip before pointing his finger in your face over jeonghan’s head. “now answer the question or take a shot missy. either way, we’ll know the answer.”
you glared at him intensely sitting back down in your chair and quietly saying “it’s true,” before reaching for the shot in front of you and slamming it anyways. you needed it. you felt jeonghan’s eyes on the side of your face and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. you just locked eyes with mingyu across the table, knowing that even with his shock, his gaze would comfort you nonetheless. it worked. his face quickly went from a “what the fuck?” expression to a reassuring “we’ll talk about this later” look.
“ahem”
no.
“that’s interesting,” josh said from the head of the table.
“josh!” you, seungcheol and mingyu yelled at the same time. they also knew what joshua had to have been thinking, and didn’t want you to endure more embarrassment.
“ i thought i was your only little secret,” he said in a condescending tone, crossing his arms.
your face was hot. “it happened years ago josh!” you were yelling from your seat. “and we haven’t talked about it since! why are you even bringing it up? who cares!”
SLAM! you flinched. jeonghan had punched the table.
“i fucking do!” he yelled shooting up from his chair. “while we’re here,” his voice dropped, placing his palms on the table, leaning forward glancing at everyone. “would anyone else like to confess to fucking y/n?”
“jeonghan,” you reached your hand up to rest on his arm and you felt his muscles stiffen.
“it’s not like that,” jihoon followed up, trying to reassure him. jeonghan wouldn’t look at him. “it was over a year ago. it wasn’t important then, and it’s not important now.”
“it still fucking happened,” he looked over his shoulder down at you. “and you didn’t tell me about it.” his tone was laced with what could only be described as anguish.
“doesn’t seem like she’s told anyone,” josh pettily adds before taking a sip of whatever drink he’d made for himself before the game started.
now you were the one to punch the table but you didn’t stand up. “dammit josh! jihoon and i both agreed we’d pretend like it never happened. it was a mistake. and it happened years after you and i hooked up so why would i tell you out of everyone?! i didn’t even tell mingyu!” you were shaking in your seat. your breath rapid as you were hitting the peak of your anger induced high. shitfaced josh didn’t know when to stop. sober josh would never even slightly push anyone’s buttons the way drunk josh was vigorously punching yours right now (and jeonghan’s).
“well it seems you told mingyu and cheol about us, so what’s the reason for that? was i too good to forget?”
before jeonghan could even start to move toward him you stood up, forcefully holding him back by his shoulder. he froze. “josh…” you started, still keeping your hand on jeonghan to make sure he didn’t try anything. “i told them because i was fucking humiliated, and couldn’t believe that i fucked you.” you spat. “is that what you wanted to hear?” you could’ve sworn in that moment, all of jeonghan’s tension shifted to josh because as jeonghan found his way back into his chair, josh stood up. it didn’t phase you in the slightest.
“you’re fucking lying, y/n. i had to have been the best you ever-”
“fucking watch yourself man,” seungcheol warned, also getting out of his seat to defend you and jeonghan, his best friend.
“oh what? did you fuck her too?”
“that’s it!” jeonghan shot back out of his chair charging toward him.
luckily seungcheol was at the chair right next to josh and managed to get to him before jeonghan, stepping in front of him as some sort of human shield. jeonghan stopped in his tracks, mere inches away from his best friend.
“cheol, move.” he growled.
“walk away jeonghan.” seungcheol tried to calm him down.
“i’m not walking the fuck away. move or i’ll move you myself.”
“hannie, it’s not worth it,” you chimed in, making your way to him. “he [josh] isn’t worth it. what we did isn’t worth it.” joshua scoffed at your comment. you tried to ignore him, knowing that if sober josh was in there somewhere, he was telling his drunk self to just shut the fuck up and go along with all of it. although you really were ashamed of that hookup. you guys were like 19 at the time after all.
“look,” jeonghan turns around to face you. “jihoon? i get it. don’t ask me how or why, but it’s not much of a shock to me. i can suck it up over that.” he pointed his arm out behind him straight at josh, still looking at you. “but him? fucking joshua?” his voice nearly breaking at the end.
“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” josh mumbled.
you and jeonghan ignored him.
“it happened years ago hannie.” it suddenly dawned on you how intense this simple game of truth or dare had turned. as you and jeonghan stared at each other in silence, everyone else waiting for what was gonna happen next, you had a million thoughts running through your mind. why does he care so much ? is it because josh is one of his best friends and he can’t believe josh didn’t tell him? is he… jealous? no. maybe?
it was almost like jeonghan could hear the questions in your head. his face turned into something small and ashamed as he slowly lowered his head looking down at the ground. one last thought was about to run through your head. is he like in lo-
then seungkwan broke the silence, clearing his throat. you both whipped your heads to the other end of the table. everyone else still staring at the two of you. “why don’t we just continue the game. no more stupid bullshit, soonyoung.”
you took a deep breath. “i think i like the sound of that boo,” you held your hand out for jeonghan to take and he did so hesitantly. not until the two of you were fully seated did seungcheol make his way back to his seat. everyone’s eyes moved to josh still standing at the end of table… waiting for him to sit.
“josh?” mingyu spoke up. it was almost like he snapped him out of a trance.
“yeah! yeah let’s keep playing,” he blurted sitting back down.
“alright well i guess it’s my turn then,” seungcheol nervously chuckled. “jun! i dare you to take a shot!”
“what?” jun laughed. collectively the tension in the room withered away as everyone started laughing softly, giving seungcheol confused looks, except for josh. he just sat, straight faced.
“yeah, you’ve barely drank tonight! cmon! either way you have to take a shot soooo…” seokmin added.
“okay okay,” jun smiled while leaning over the table for the bottle.
once he took the shot, everyone carefully looked to joshua who was clearly faking his enthusiasm now. “okay well… i gotta go with y/n!” he said in such a deceptively happy tone, you knew he wasn’t over what had just finally ended for you and literally everyone else at the table.
vernon spoke up for the first time since his last turn probably 15 minutes ago, “please don’t be a dick dude.” he casually took a sip of his drink.
“don’t worry, don’t worryyyy. i just gotta ask her something.”
you watched jeonghan’s face as he stared at his drink in front of him. his jaw was clenched so tight you thought he might shatter his teeth. you put your hand on his thigh under the table to silently tell him you wish josh would shut up just as bad as he did. “why don’t you just leave her alone man?” jeonghan asked calmly not looking away from his glass.
“well i would but there’s just this burning question i have in my head that i can’t shake,” josh was slurring a bit but still thinking about his next words wisely. “y/n,” he was staring into your soul, and you did the same to him, not backing down. “was i not the best you’ve ever had?”
“no,” you immediately answered. “no you weren’t. why do you think i never mentioned it again?” jeonghan smiled to himself looking down in his lap, grabbing your hand that was on his thigh. the gesture was oddly sweet in this bitter situation.
“oh? well then who was the best hm?” josh followed up.
“oh, jeonghan! hands down,” you didn’t even hesitate. his grip on your hand tightened, the grin on his face widening as his eyes stayed locked in his lap. you even heard jihoon softly chuckle behind you.
“bullshit,” josh accused. jeonghan quickly looked up at him, tilting his head ever so slightly. “no way he’s giving it to you better than i did.”
after that comment, everyone collectively started yelling at him to just go to sleep or leave the game, anything to get him to stop his petty remarks. including you. you were still yelling when jeonghan turned to you, cupping your face, “shut the fuck up,” he whispered before grabbing your wrist and forcefully pulling you away from the table. he stopped at the end by josh’s chair.
“fine!” jeonghan exclaimed, silencing everyone. he then leaned in to josh’s ear, “i’ll just let you hear how much better im giving it to her.” and with that jeonghan was dragging you up the stairs at an aggressive pace, not even giving anyone the opportunity to respond.
once you reached the top of the stair case he spun you around in front of him so you were walking backwards. you passed the banister as he started taking off your shirt. your bare chest on display for anyone to see had they looked up from the table down below. you couldn’t care less.
“kiss me,” you whimpered trying not to stumble backward as he’s fondling with the button of your pants. he obeyed, eagerly crashing his lips into yours as you both neared his room. he started turning you to the left and you knew you’d reached your destination. he didn’t push you all the way into his room though.
“if it gets to be too much say ‘stop’,” he breathed before pushing you against his open door and dropping to his knees, immediately pulling your pants down. you stepped out of them without a second thought. is he just gonna fuck me against his open bedroom door?
“fuck!” you gasped out as he dove in after your clothed core. i guess the answer is yes.
“jesus y/n,” he growled moving your underwear to the side. “you’re fucking soaked already,” he continued to lap at your pussy, the annoying fabric now out of the way.
“mmm liked you getting m-mad,” you whispered, not wanting the others to hear your confession. you knew it sounded pathetic.
jeonghan groaned into you in response. you liked him fuming over the thought of someone else fucking you better than he did? if his dick wasn’t pushing to break free from his sweats before, it sure was now.
“fuck, you’re such a slut y/n,” he slurred, now grabbing at your underwear, ripping it on each side down the seams and throwing them right across the hall into josh’s open room.
“hannie what the fuck?” you bemoaned. you’d just bought the lacy fabric the other day for him to admire, not ruin. the fact that he threw them in josh’s room couldn’t be less of a concern to you right now.
he stood up putting his hand around your neck, firmly pressing you against the door. “what?” he asked innocently, taunting you before crashing his lips back into yours. you moaned into the kiss, desperate for him to touch you again.
as if he’d read your mind, he used his free hand to pull down the waistband of his sweats, finally letting his dick breathe. he put his cock in between your legs, basically fucking your thighs. the subtle friction against your clit was enough to send you spiraling. you were over his teasing and torture.
“hannie, please,” you panted.
“please what?” he mocked, still rutting against the heat between your legs.
“please fuck me,” you whined.
it wasn’t good enough for him. “what? i’m sorry baby,” baby? “i don’t think josh can hear you.”
you were suddenly reminded of the circumstances surrounding the current situation you were in. you felt yourself turn beet red.
“remember, you can tell me to stop,” he whispered to you, noticing your complexion.
“no, no don’t stop,” you begged.
he smiled maniacally. “okay. so again, i don’t think josh could hear what you said,” his voice rising in the second half.
“please jeonghan, please fuck me. please!” you cried, knowing damn well that josh and unfortunately, everyone else could hear your desperate words.
“such a good little whore for me aren’t you?” his grip on your neck tightened, his other hand grabbing his cock, lining himself up with your entrance. you lifted your leg to give him easier access.
he pushed past your folds and you winced at the slight stretch, but you fit jeonghan like a glove. ever since the first time you guys had sex it almost felt like you were… made for each other in a way.
“you okay?” he nearly wheezed, trying to hold himself back from going completely animalistic on you in this moment. wanting to claim you as his for everyone to hear… for josh to hear.
fuck josh…
he barely let you nod your head before snapping his hips, thrusting his cock into you so fast you swear you saw stars. the squeal that escaped your throat was something of pure filth and you knew that by this point, josh had to have felt like a fucking idiot for everything he said.
jeonghan moved his hands to your thighs, hoisting you up, your back still flat against his door, his cock buried deep inside you. “i’m going to absolutely ruin you and your pretty little pussy,” he fucked himself deeper into you if that was even possible, “not even gonna be able to walk back down these stairs without my help,” he panted.
“mmmph hannie~” were your last whimpering words before he started brutally fucking himself in and out of your sopping cunt. you were a blubbering mess, whining and crying out like a bitch in heat.
“dammit y/n how are you always this t-tight,” jeonghan groaned before swallowing your sounds in a sloppy, wet kiss. his tongue desperately darted into your mouth to dance with yours and you were more than willing to let it in. your tongues danced together not so elegantly as his dick was thrusting into you with determination, his door thudding against the wall to the rhythm he’d set, and you moaning uncontrollably into his mouth.
you started to wonder what everyone downstairs was doing. especially josh.
“mmm wait wait wait hannie wait,” you put your hands on his shoulders putting enough distance between your bodies just to speak.
“i-i feel bad for everyone downstairs. should we keep doing this?” you whispered, giggling a little as the gravity of the situation really started weighing on you.
“i really don’t give a fuck about everyone downstairs.” he kissed you deeply. “unless it really makes you uncomfortable, then we’ll stop.”
“i’m not really uncomfortable just… feel bad.”
“well don’t. and remember how this all started?”
he was right.
“you’re right,” you threw your arms around his neck, attacking his lips with your own, taking control of the situation.
he let your legs down, now gripping your waist, pulling your naked body closer to him. you spun the two of you around so he was against the door. you pulled away from your kiss to lift his shirt over his head and throw it into his room. you then dropped to your knees, almost mirroring his actions from earlier. you pulled his sweats and underwear down to his ankles and he kicked them off to the side.
“fuck hannie,” you moaned, clenched around nothing as you were eye level with his cock. jeonghan could’ve came just at the sight of you gawking over his dick beneath him.
“y/n as much as i’d love to feel your mouth around me, i need to fuck you properly and i need to do it now,” he cooed cupping your face. he traced his thumb across your lip and you took it into you mouth, sucking on it like a binkie. “fuck, you’re such a fucking slut y/n,” he ripped his hand from your mouth. “on the bed. now.”
you started to stand up but he stopped you, “no, crawl.” you did exactly as you were told and crawled your way to the foot of his bed.
you could predict he’d want you on all fours, but you didn’t want to assume, so you sat on the edge of his bed waiting for further instructions.
“you know how i want you.” he was making his way toward you.
you quickly turned around on your knees and lowered yourself so your face and arms were flat on the bed and your ass was in the air.
when jeonghan got within arms length of your body, without hesitation he slapped your right ass cheek before grabbing it tightly, his left hand doing the same to the other side. you just yelped and balled up the sheets in your fists.
spreading you so wide you thought you might split, he speaks again. “there’s so much more of you that i want to explore, y/n,” he mumbled lining himself up with your aching core once again.
“s-so explore me, jeonghan,” your voice was rather shaky as you waited for his cock to be shoved into you at any moment.
“fuck baby…” baby again? you didn’t have time to process the pet name once again before jeonghan picked up where you guys had left off.
his hands were holding onto your waist for dear life as he railed you into his bed with no mercy.
“f-f-fuck hann-nie!” you cried out, every stutter on beat with his hips. a string of the most lewd whimpers, whines and groans you’ve every let fly from your mouth followed.
“uh huh, that’s r-right. how g-good do i-fuck~ fuck you huh?” he boasted.
something about jeonghan’s feral tendencies to “claim” you had you tightening around him over and over, that familiar knot forming in your tummy.
“g-god hannie i’m c-close!” you warned, gripping the sheets until your knuckles turned white.
he pulled his dick out of you instantly. you started pouting, “noooo hannie why did you-“
you heard a pop from his mouth and couldn’t help but turn your head around as far as you could. “hannie?”
“if you don’t like it, or it’s too much, what do you say?”
“‘stop’… what are you- fuck!”
jeonghan’s thumb was prodding at your other hole, barely being granted access due to it never being messed with. “too much?” he asked as the tip of his thumb slipped in.
the groan that escaped your mouth was all he needed but you tried to respond anyway, “n-no hannie~ fffuck…” your voice trailed off, the new sensation sending your body into a blissfully painful new level of pleasure.
jeonghan lined himself back up, slipping inside of you with ease at this point. the sensation of being able to feel his cock sliding in and out of you through your ass with his thumb was a feeling he didn’t know he needed. he threw his head back, slowly pulling himself out almost entirely before steadily pushing himself back into you, pushing down with his thumb to feel every inch through your gummy walls. “god dammit, y/n. you’re gonna be the death of me,” he snarled before once again picking back up to his animalistic pace from before.
you both were a moaning mess, in your own bubble of euphoria when suddenly, you were rudely interrupted by an annoyingly familiar voice.
“okay you fucking psychopaths, your point has been made. can you shut the fuck up now?!” josh yelled from down below. if you two were being honest, the moment jeonghan had you crawling across the floor to his bed, you’d forgotten all about josh and the others.
“no. you can come close the fucking door!” jeonghan yelled back trying to keep his voice steady when in reality, he could fall apart here and now. fall to his knees and cry at how amazing you were making him feel. you’re the reason he can fuck you so good. you make it impossible not to.
“god you guys are fucking obnoxious…” josh’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he reached jeonghan’s door. he froze in his tracks. his drunken state didn’t really allow him to comprehend that he was going to be walking in on jeonghan absolutely wrecking you. he was just coming up to close the door, but he couldn’t stop staring.
he was snapped out of his daze when jeonghan whipped his head around, making immediate eye contact with him, not slowing down his thrusts in the slightest, completely unfazed.
“the fuck do you want?” he spat. you managed to turn your head to the side to catch a glimpse of the boy in the doorway. your vision blurry from being completely fucked out of your mind. you knew it felt wrong that he was seeing all of this, but your brain was so fuzzy you couldn’t really focus on anything else other than jeonghan.
“i- i was just closing the door,” josh managed to mutter out. as he reached for the doorknob, jeonghan spoke up again.
“no. you wanna watch so bad?” he slowly took his thumb out of you first, then his cock. you subconsciously whimpered at the sudden empty feeling. you knew you should move, knew you should adjust so you weren’t so exposed for josh to see but you couldn’t bring yourself to in your sex drunk (and still literally tipsy) state.
jeonghan, dick still out, made his way over to josh. “then come have a seat,” his tone was bitter as he grabbed him by the shoulder and walked him to his desk chair, nearly throwing him down.
“dude i don’t-“
“i dont want to hear it. you’re the one that stopped to watch so im giving you what you want, yeah?” suddenly jeonghan had dominance over everyone in the room. all josh could do was nod in response.
with the main reason for all of this absurdity now sitting in the room, jeonghan felt it was appropriate to shut the door. he did so forcefully, then made his was back over to you.
your head already being turned to your left where jeonghan’s desk was, you were looking right at josh. you quickly flipped your head the other way, embarrassed by your state. jeonghan took a fistful of your hair and slowly pulled you up so your back was flat against chest.
“i want him to watch me make you fall apart,” he whispered so gently in your ear for no one else to hear. “is that okay pretty girl?” the nickname making your tummy do flips all over again. of course that was okay. sure it would be embarrassing for the first 5 seconds, but josh pissed you off tonight more than anyone. so yes, yes of course he could be put in his place with a front row seat to the show.
“jeonghan yes,” you breathed desperately, clenching around nothing.
“good,” you wish you could see the smile on his face that you could hear when he spoke. “now, when you lay back down, turn your head back toward him so he can watch your face while i claim what’s mine.”
what’s his?
you did as you were told and when jeonghan loosened his grip on your hair, you lowered yourself back down with your face in the sheets facing joshua once again. he looked at you with a stare that was incomprehensible. was it lust? embarrassment? anger? probably all of the above, but you didn’t care. all you cared about was jeonghan filling you back up.
jeonghan started to make a snarky comment to joshua when you interrupted him.
“hannie p-please who fucking cares i need you to fuck me please please please!” you were on the brink of tears. so desperate for him, to feel his cock deep inside you again.
“oh someone’s needy hm? good girl asking so nicely.” his voice something carnal. he took barely two seconds to line himself up with your soaked, swollen, reddened and abused core.
you didn’t think he was holding back before but holy shit were you wrong. his hands were basically imbedded into your waist. his hips snapping with even more determination and vigor than before. it took no more than 20 seconds for him to get that knot forming in your tummy again.
“is this what you wanted, you fucking whore? such a whore for my cock aren’t you.” he growled. “tell me baby, has anyone ever fucked you this good?” he whined out, his own orgasm approaching.
you must’ve taken a millisecond too long to answer him because he harshly smacked your ass making you cry out in pain (in a good way of course). “answer me.”
“yes!” your voice coming out in a mix of whimpers and pure air. “no one c-can f-fuck… fuck me like you do hannie!”
“not even josh over here?”
your eyes had been shut since jeonghan started fucking you again… you forgot josh was in the room. when you opened them you were met with the sight of him shamelessly palming himself through his sweats. “especially not josh,” you managed to spit out rather clearly. it was a somewhat mean statement but the mother fucker was getting off to watching jeonghan literally prove that he can fuck you better than josh ever could’ve, so why not humiliate him a little more?
sure enough, josh groaned out in pleasure. sick.
“that’s fucking right.” jeonghan managed to pull out, flip you onto your back, and start fucking you again so fast you got dizzy. the new angle allowing him to hit a new spot, one that was bringing you closer to the edge, much faster than before.
“mmmmffff h-hannieee~” was all you could manage to get out, but he knew exactly what it meant.
“gonna make a mess all over my cock baby? hm? gonna show josh what a fucking idiot he is?” he whined once again. he moved his hand down and began rubbing circles on your clit, bringing you to your breaking point.
you turned into an illiterate wreck. somewhere laced in your desperate noises were traces of jeonghan’s name. you physically couldn’t bring yourself to unscrew your eyes to look at him. you knew he loved it when you made eye contact whenever you came undone for him, but you just couldn’t. you suddenly felt a soft hand gently grab your neck.
“i fucking love your face, y/n,” he whispered as his hips started to stutter. you managed to open your eyes to look at him right before he started to come undone himself, you still coming down from your own state of euphoria. when your eyes locked, he immediately crashed his lips into yours, his hand on your neck tightening as his hips thrusted into you one last time. you couldn’t help but clench around him when you felt his warm seed fill you up. his mouth fell open letting out a feral noise as you two lay forehead to forehead, jeonghan slowly moving himself in and out of you letting you milk his cock for all it’s worth. his hand that was around your neck moved up to cup your face instead, wiping your tears that you didn’t even realize had fallen from your eyes during all of… that.
“josh?” jeonghan’s voice was low, and he never broke eye contact with you. “get out.”
you heard josh shuffle out of the room shutting the door behind him. it was nice for it to just be the two of you again… not that you didn’t enjoy the game you two just played.
jeonghan’s eyes were piercing into yours with something different than you’d ever seen. it was a content look which you were used to but…
“i-“ he paused, scanning your eyes to see if he should even say such a foolish thing.
“you what, jeonghan?” you said delicately, running your fingers through your hair.
“i love you, y/n.” he whispered. he sunk his head down to the rook of your neck as if to hide. it was the most precious thing you’ve ever seen this boy do.
“jeonghan…” you shifted to grab his face and bring it back up to look at you. “i love you too.”
how were you two sharing the most soft, comforting moment with each other right after having sex that you felt would have the devil himself appalled?
“really?” his eyes lit up, a smile growing on his face. he showered every inch of your face in kisses as you giggled through every second of it. once he finally stopped you nodded silently with a soft smile plastered across your face.
most normal people in such a situation would be asking all sorts of questions, but you didn’t care to. you knew you guys would talk about it at the right time for both of you, that time just wasn’t now.
-
“BREAKFAST!!” mingyu yelled from the kitchen. you were barely managing to open your eyes as you heard footsteps running down the hall. for these men being well past their teenage years, you always found yourself thinking of them as boys. always so cheerful and full of energy, even first thing in the morning.
once you “came to” if you will, you realized you were being spooned by the boy that confessed his love for you last night… or early this morning. the moment he ripped you away from the table you’d lost track of all time.
you both were naked but you felt clean. you vaguely remember in your post-fucked-out state, that jeonghan had carried you to the bathroom with him to shower.
“hannie,” you spoke just above a whisper.
“hmmmmmm,” he groaned, pulling you closer to him.
“gyu just said breakfast is ready and.. i’m hungry.”
“i don’t blame you.” you could hear the smile on his face even tho your back was turned to him. his morning voice was husky, the sound of it immediately going to your core, but you were too hungry to do anything about it.
“shutup,” you giggled. “let’s get dressed.”
“ugggggh okay fine, fine.”
he let you slip out of his arms to sit on the edge of his bed before… attempting to get up. your legs were so physically weak, you couldn’t bring yourself to stand. in that moment you knew jeonghan was watching you because he bursted out laughing.
“oh i’m so sorry,” he sighed once he finished his laughing session.
“for laughing at the fact that i can’t stand? or for being the fucking reason that i can’t stand?” you jokingly scolded.
“both,” he shrugged with a smug smirk on his face before getting up and grabbing two pairs of briefs from his drawer, one for you and one for him. he put on a pair, then threw a baggy t-shirt on and called it good. “i hope you’re okay twinning with me,” he teased as he got on his knees to slide the underwear he grabbed for you onto your legs. once he got to your thighs you took over.
“i don’t mind in the slightest,” you gave him a cheeky smile. he shifted closer to you on his knees so he was between your legs, then gave you a tender kiss before he spoke again.
“good. now what shirt of mine do you want to wear, princess?”
you looked up at the ceiling, cartoonishly thinking even though you both knew what shirt you wanted to wear.
“maybe that really really baggy sweater with that ‘message of’ whatever on it?”
he gave you another kiss with a smile before moving to his closet. “message of ames it is, pretty girl.”
once he helped you put the sweatshirt on, you still sitting on the bed, he kneeled backwards in front of you so you could hop on his back.
“we were taking bets on if you two were gonna come down,” minghao deadpanned from the table, taking a bite of one of mingyu’s pancakes.
“the princess was hungry.” you lightly hit him upside the head before he carefully set you down right next to the chair he just pulled out for you. once you sat, he pushed you in.
minghao smiled at you. he spoke up once jeonghan walked into the kitchen to fetch your plates. “i’m glad he treats someone nicely.”
you two giggled together. “and i’m glad it’s me.”
“oh… something happened last night.” he paused with his forkful of hash browns in front of his face. “well, beside the obvious.”
your face grew hot. “ha, yeah you wouldn’t believe.”
“can’t wait to hear about it,” he whispered, then shoveling the hash browns into his mouth.
“hey,” jeonghan blurted setting your plate down in front of you. “you guys, where’s josh?” he asked casually as he sat with his own plate as if what happened last night just simply… didn’t happen. you could imagine he was hesitant to face you both.
but then…
“y/n! jeonghan!” josh yelled from his room. “what the fuck are these?!”
you and jeonghan slowly turned to look at each other, both wearing the words “oh fuck” on your faces without muttering a word. jeonghan shot out of his chair and ran up the stairs to save both of your asses.
you turned to your food, silently poking at a piece of your scrambled eggs. minghao leaned in close, so you turned to him. “what did he find?” he whispered.
as if on cue, mingyu ran over from the kitchen to lean his head in. you leaned close to the boys so you knew any lingering ears wouldn’t hear. “jeonghan threw my underwear in his room,” you whispered back.
minghao bursted out laughing, mingyu stood up dumbfounded. exaggerated shock displayed on his face. anyone else in the room who was trying to mind their own business was now staring.
“you guys are too fucking much,” minghao sighed while holding a smile on his face. mingyu silently kissed you on the top of your head before walking back into the kitchen.
“you have no idea,” you smiled back, taking a bite of your best friend’s homemade pancakes.
˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱‧₊˚
tag list: (i tagged everyone who reblogged the teaser) @jenoslutie @goblynnrockz @iluvhoshi @shinaely @squishysquishjimin @sana-is-ms-rmty @wonusfavgf @httpjeia @chanichanvhan @133456789000000000000 @4shypotato @meowwiie @lethia-killua @asyre @jeonghnie @starcandybby
#jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan#yoon jeonghan x reader#jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan smut#hanniesluvr
688 notes
·
View notes
Text
miss americana | 𝖕𝖘𝖍
➸ second anthology piece in "basketball (inkchwe's version)" and story-inspired playlist also can be found there too! ୨୧ pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 9.8k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst, smut ୨୧ tags: basketballplayer!heesung, cheerleader!reader, established relationship, exes to lovers au, high school au, heavy petting, marking, oral (f receiving) penetration (all characters are of age!) ୨୧ synopsis: Fed up with Sunghoon's attitude and petty games, you move on, hopefully to something better. Why did he have to realize how important you were to him once you were already gone? ➸ a/n: bless @mini-mews for being there every step of the way with this fic, it was amazing seeing all of the comments and reactions and i could not have asked for a better beta ♡
DECEMBER
Sunghoon could have made the winning shot if it weren’t for the praise that was placed on someone else for so long. Lee Heeseung was the best shooting guard his high school had ever seen; anyone with talent and passion for the sport could see that. At the same time, Sunghoon made a lot of calls as the small forward that were imperative to the success of the team. From scoring to handling the ball, Sunghoon could do it all and then some.
If only the captain, the old fart, saw that. And Heeseung, the sanctimonious prick, appreciated him more.
Sunghoon is so wrapped up in his bitter thoughts he can barely focus on your lips attached to his neck and your legs around his waist. You both were cramped in the driver’s side of his car, but you managed to make yourself fit on Sunghoon’s lap to straddle him. In the dark of night, only the two of you parked on the basketball court by the river, you decided to give him a reminder of what the most important thing in his life was outside of winning the championship.
Sunghoon usually spent times like these celebrating with his other teammates, but something was sitting in the front of his mind like a fly he couldn’t swat. You can tell in the furrow of his brows and his scrunched-up mouth. He may not be able to focus on going out and drinking, but it was a benefit to you. Maybe he would finally spend some time with you like he used to.
“Heeseung acts like everyone should worship the ground he walks on. Yeah, he won the game tonight, so what? I could score as many baskets as him if I wanted. And I’ve played as many games as his ass and won. Even once when I had chicken pox.” Sunghoon continues on his rant, unbothered by your mouth and hands on him. You run both of your palms inside of his jersey and feel the skin of his abs underneath your fingers, but Sunghoon doesn’t budge.
“I think you did great, who cares?” You mumble into his neck, focused on making him feel pleasure rather than irritation. You move Sunghoon’s hands to cup your backside, the cheer shorts under your skirt riding up to expose your upper thighs.
“Whatever,” Sunghoon grumbles, eyes looking past you and towards the window.
“What do you mean ‘whatever’?” You pull away from him to look in his eyes. He’s a million miles away, not bothering to pay attention to your impending frustration. His only concerns are himself and his feelings. “Seriously, get over this attitude and talk to me if you’re not gonna at least act interested.”
Sunghoon lets out a frustrated groan and pushes you back into the passenger seat. You yelp in the process, barely landing on your ass. “What the fuck, Hoon?”
“Don’t you see I’m upset and maybe I don’t want to spend another night making out?”
“Another—“ You huff out a breath, shocked at his audacity. “When was the last time we actually spent quality time together?” Before Sunghoon can answer with a basic response, you interrupt him. “And by ‘quality time,” I don’t mean with the guys or Jongseong in attendance.”
“That’s not fair.” Sunghoon tries to hit you with his signature pout, but you don’t budge.
“What’s not fair is that I’m supposed to be your girlfriend but all you care about is huffing and puffing about basketball, complaining about not being the captain, or being a huge jackass.”
“If that’s all I do, then why the fuck are you still around?” Sunghoon bites back, venom dripping from every word.
You look at him with wide eyes, seeing him clearly for the first time in months. After the latter half of the year you’ve been together being a disappointment of epic proportions, the veil finally lifted. Sunghoon does have a point. What are you still doing with him?
“You know what? You’re right.” You exit Sunghoon’s Denali with a grunt and fix your makeup, not letting the tears that threaten to escape fall from your cheeks.
“What are you doing now?”
“You’re right. I’m not gonna waste my time anymore. I’m done.” You slam the passenger door closed and begin your walk from the basketball court to your house, determined not to look back. If he wanted to be that way, then you deserved better.
You hear the slow, incoming huff of Sunghoon’s car, and he rolls the window down to continue your conversation. His lips are in a thin line, his annoyance at an all-time high but now directed completely at you. He says, “So I guess I’ll call you when you’re not so hormonal?”
“Don’t bother. Just fuck off, Sunghoon.”
He nods his head with an angry smirk and rolls the window back up. In a sudden screech, his car races down the empty street, leaving you alone in the night to cry. You weep not just for the future you saw with him coming to a sudden end, but for the past Sunghoon who you believed would never treat you this way now.
You shut your locker with an angry hand, a resounding slam filling the hallway. The strangers around you flinch in response and whisper, some unsure why the head cheerleader is in such a mood today.
“Didn’t you hear? Her and Sunghoon are done,” one of them speaks in a hushed tone.
“Damn. And right after his win? Heartless,” another says with the click of their tongue.
“How about you guys mind your fucking business?” You spit the words in their direction with force before walking away towards your calculus class.
As if anyone knows anything about your relationship or how it came to end. The vipers are always ready to strike when a new hint of gossip comes around, no matter who gets hurt in the process.
To add salt to the wound, Sunghoon saunters up to you and tries to wrap his arm around your shoulder. You shrug him off with a tired grunt.
Many times before you had fought and made up as if the day prior never happened, all smiles and no tears in sight. But you’re tired of the same game you always played with each other. You think to yourself about the way he spoke to you two days ago, and how you would tell any other friend they deserve better.
And you definitely deserve better than that.
“Are you still mad?” Sunghoon asks with a whine. Typically, his childlike voice would make you laugh. Right now, you just feel vomit in the back of your throat.
“I’m not mad. We’re over.” You speak with a defeated but definitive tone, the end of your sentence falling into a whisper.
What’s the point of fighting anymore? With an outside perspective you did not have previously, you realized how exhausting it was going up and down with someone you were supposed to love.
Sunghoon doesn’t keep up with you, somehow understanding from the resignation in your voice and simple response that, as far as you were concerned, you were done with him.
“Goddamnit,” you curse, trying to make the lighter flick to life. For all the times you tried coaxing a flame from the device, it would not budge. First you had to deal with the onslaught of rumors circulating about your sudden breakup, and now you could barely get a lighter to work. Why did Mondays always have to be so awful?
Exhausted, you throw the pack of cigarettes and lighter into the open air. Both objects fall somewhere onto the football field, but you barely notice. You’re too focused on the tears in your eyes and the sobs that leave your mouth to pay attention to anything else.
You know it’s pathetic to sit on the bleachers and cry by yourself about the breakdown of your relationship, but the cyclone of emotions didn’t ask for permission when it hit you. It just did, violently and with little care for your wellbeing. You’re just glad to have the quiet time now to deal with the storm by yourself.
Or so you thought.
Someone walks up to you with both your cigarettes and lighter in his hands. Bang Chan, head quarterback for the football team and senior, smiles at you when you do look up in his direction. He steps back an inch when he notices your puffy eyes and red face. “Sorry,” he says. “Just saw you…lost these…and didn’t know if you wanted them back or not.”
You shake your head. “Throw them out if you want.”
Chan releases a surprised sigh. “Didn’t expect a cheerleader to smoke tobacco.”
His insight makes a smile appear on your lips in spite of the tears. “I never have. I just thought since I kicked one bad habit, why not replace it with another one?”
Chan laughs. He sits down next to you, but stays mindful of your space. “Sunghoon, right?”
You nod, his name a pit in your stomach. “You know him?”
”Just his reputation. Basketball guys can be real assholes.”
”And what about football players?” You counter. “You’re all just perfect angels?”
”Well, we prefer to call ourselves ‘realists’.” You share a laugh with him, relieved to feel something other than apathy or misery. It’s been so long since you’ve been around a guy who didn’t make you doubtful of yourself. Why not enjoy it?
You give Chan your name, but he tells you he was well aware of your presence before. “I mean, you cheer at our games too, y’know, so you’re hard not to notice.”
You blush, your puffy face suddenly red from the comment. “Well, you’re hard not to notice too, Chan.”
Maybe the future for you and Sunghoon had not played out the way you intended, but your future with someone else could potentially be pretty great.
JANUARY
Sunghoon feels pretty out of place every year once the end of the basketball season comes around. Now that he’s single, he wonders what could fill his spare time in a meaningful way. Besides academics, he comes up empty with ideas.
He wouldn’t have chosen to be broken up with, but what else could he have done? He wasn’t going to grovel, not when you were the one making a big deal out of one fight. Eventually, you would come to your senses and come back. You both loved each other too much not to resolve the situation, even if weeks had rolled by without any communication.
Sunghoon is walking with Jay to second period when he sees you chatting with Chan, all smiles and body too close to the senior’s for Sunghoon’s comfort. Jay notices how tense his friend becomes seeing both you and Chan together, shoulders rigid and jaw tight.
”Would it be so bad if you just apologized? Even if you think you didn’t do anything wrong—“
”I know I didn’t,” Sunghoon cuts in, pissed off at the situation he’s in. How did Chan have any right to try and pull the charm out now that you’re available? It makes the blood inside of Sunghoon’s veins boil to a scorching temperature.
”You love her, man. Stop trying to be nonchalant about your feelings.”
The bell for late students rings, and everyone still in the hallway scatters to make it to their classes. Sunghoon feels the muscles in his body twitch seeing you walk away with Chan, arm in arm like you’re the closest of friends.
Writing notes for your physics class is hard when your best friend Wonyoung talks the entire time, her voice projecting to a high shrill. You manage to write while listening to her impassioned speech, but you stop altogether when the subject comes to you and Chan.
”When is he going to ask you out already? Everyone sees the way he looks at you.” Wonyoung bats her eyelashes with a suggestive smirk, and you thwack her away with your notebook.
”We’re just friends. And I’m not trying to date anyone right now.”
”Come on. It’s been three weeks. Nobody would blame you for putting yourself back out there.”
The intercom blares to life, and you hear your name and the request to be seen in the front office. You take your belongings in case the request involves some sort of emergency, your thoughts racing as you head out the door.
When you make it to the front office, all you see is Sunghoon with his back against the secretary’s counter, grinning ear to ear. You’re both alone for the first time since you broke up, and the awkwardness you feel is suffocating.
”Did you do this?” You ask, eyes rolling at his nonchalant posture.
“Miss Kang owed me a favor.” His eyes are vulnerable suddenly, the cloud of indifference shredding a touch. ”Besides, I wanted to see you.”
Those words would’ve made you melt a long time ago, the early days of your relationship marked with gestures like this and sweet nothings leaving his lips. Now, you feel so far from the girl you were when you broke up with him.
”Well I want to get my lab done, so if you’ll excuse me—“
”Wait, wait, please.” He rushes to stop you from leaving the tiny office, his arm firm against the glass door in front of you.
”Sunghoon, this is not—“
”Please, just hear me out.”
You cross your arms and straighten your posture into a firm stance, looking directly in his eyes while waiting for the usual speech to leave his mouth.
You know you’re the only one I want.
”You know you’re the only one I want.”
My intention is never to fight with you.
”My intention is never to fight with you.”
All I want is to work this out, please.
”All I want is to work this out, please.”
You can’t help the broken laugh that leaves your lips, or the well of tears that build up behind your lashes. It’s both heartbreaking and comical that he thinks after weeks of nothing to show for his sudden humility, his half-baked, used-up monologue is the best way to mend your problems.
”Is that it?” you ask, deadpan.
Sunghoon stutters, suddenly at a loss for words. “What do you mean?”
”Is that all you want to say? ‘Cause if it is, then—”
”Why are you being like this?” His pleading tone suddenly becomes one of irritation. He’s not used to you putting up a fight, and now that you are, he doesn’t know how to handle it, like a toddler who can’t find their toy.
That’s all you were to him at the end of the day. A shiny doll to play with and discard when the circumstances didn’t suit him.
“I’m being like this because this is nothing new. And in another couple of days, it’ll be the same problems and the same excuses. It’s gotten old.” You walk out of the door, but hold it open just a touch to give him the last piece of your mind.
”You know what the worst part is, Sunghoon?” You clear your throat, failing to conceal the pain in your voice. “You didn’t even say you want me back because you love me.”
”Of course I love you!”
”Why? Why do you love me?” You throw your hands up at him, voice in tatters from how loud you’re screaming.
His response is exactly what you expected: nothing. No words come to mind or are adequate enough to describe the depth of his feelings for you, or lack thereof.
”That’s what I thought,” you say before walking away. If those are the last words you ever say to him, you’re glad you got them off of your chest.
The Spring Formal was all the talk of Sunghoon’s friends and their girlfriends once the date of the dance was announced. It was two months away, yet the hallways and classes were already littered with hearts and pink banners. Dance proposals were rampant, some even going viral on the school’s social media accounts.
It made Sunghoon sick to his stomach.
Four days ago, he thought he could win you back, but it only made you run further away from him. Was he that predictable? And what did that beefhead Chan have now that Sunghoon suddenly didn’t?
Playing video games with the guys and Heeseung’s girlfriend in attendance, he hoped it would take his mind off of things. But seeing his off-and-on adversary and partner loved up in the corner of Jake’s room didn’t help.
Sunghoon looks at the two of them laughing in each other’s arms and remembers the feeling of your body in his, the first weeks of dating being some of the best of his life. The quick texts during class, the impromptu kisses in his car before saying goodnight, and the secret drives to the beach on the weekends. He remembers them all, even if his cold nature made you think he had forgotten them with a cruel ease.
The memories pain his heart, and the image of a happy couple still basking in their newfound love does nothing but twist the knife.
“Can you guys not be all over each other in front of us? It’s disgusting.” Sunghoon remarks with sarcasm as he shoots one of Jake’s CPUs down. His friend grunts and tries to take out a person on Sunghoon’s team to even the playing field.
Heeseung’s girlfriend quirks an eyebrow, still focused on her boyfriend but ready to throw a comeback Sunghoon’s way. “Aw, someone’s jealous, isn’t he?”
Her saying the words out loud causes the entire room to go quiet. The only sounds come from the TV and automated game dialogue.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Sunghoon responds, his voice at a new low.
“Hey man. Watch how you speak to my girlfriend,” Heeseung interrupts, ready to jump from the beanbag he’s sitting in to put his teammate in his place.
His girlfriend places a tender hand on his forearm. “I got this, Hee.” She turns her attention back to Sunghoon, the ghost of a smirk on her lips. “I meant exactly what I said. Your girlfriend was tired of you being a complete prick to everyone, including her.”
Heeseung says his girlfriend’s name in warning, knowing she’s gone a bit too far, no matter how true her words are.
She doesn’t stop though, and Sunghoon is too shocked to form a sentence. “And seeing anyone else happy makes you realize how bad you fucked up and why she was right to drop you.”
Jake makes a face at her too, silently pleading for an end to the fight before more things are said that can’t be taken back.
Sunghoon throws the controller at the TV stand, the device breaking once it hits the wood. Jake and Heeseung curse at him for his reaction, but Sunghoon storms out of the bedroom before he lets his anger go any further.
He sits on the stairs in front of his friend’s house and feels the prick of tears in his eyes. It’s rare for him to allow himself to be vulnerable. The only person in his life who saw him this way was you, and without you, he doesn’t know how to pull himself back from the precipice. Was what Heeseung’s girlfriend said true? Were you right to leave him? Did he not deserve any more chances to do right by you, given how many times he fucked it up before, no matter how much he loved you?
In spite of everything he’s done wrong, he still does. He loves your fire, the stubbornness that mirrors his own so perfectly. He loves your crude sense of humor, the way you can make a joke out of anything, even in the worst of times to make him laugh. And he loves your sweetness, your capability to think of others before yourself, something he’s never been good at and always admired about you even if he never said it. He never said a lot of things he should’ve.
The questions and regrets flood his brain and make him wish he had a time machine. He would go back to the last hour you were together before everything fell apart. To be happy to have you in his arms and grateful to still hold your respect, your effort, and your love.
He hears someone walk up to him, but he doesn’t bother to look. “I’ll apologize later, okay, Jake? I don’t need a lecture right now.”
The feminine grumble makes Sunghoon turn his head, not expecting to see Heeseung’s girlfriend behind him.
“I came to apologize to you.”
Sunghoon looks back to the street in front of him. He decides to avoid prolonging the argument and nods his head. “It’s fine. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“Doesn’t mean it was okay.” She settles down on the stairs next to him. Sunghoon wiggles further towards the railing to make room for her. “Everyone deserves a chance to make things right. Even if they’ve been wrong a lot of the time.”
He discreetly wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “Even someone like me?”
She chuckles. “Especially someone like you.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Sunghoon doesn’t need to say the multitude of reasons why she deserves an apology. But it makes the aggression between the both of them, as well as a fragment of the guilt in Sunghoon’s heart, dissipate. All that’s left is relief.
She grins, the same feelings evident in her expression. “Apology accepted.”
Sunghoon lets a small smile appear on his lips. He has to practice apologizing more often; the feeling of making amends is pretty satisfying.
FEBRUARY
“Wonyoung, I don’t know where it is!” You say into the receiver of your phone, one hand holding the device to your face as the other rifles through the belongings in your locker. “And I doubt your bracelet is in here.”
“It has to be! I can’t think of any other place it could’ve gone,” she whines, sniffling. It isn’t her fault she’s home sick today, but she would get through her cold just fine without her lucky bracelet. As far as she’s concerned, however, it’s a matter of life and death.
“I’m sure we’ll find it so you can get over this cold,” you coddle her, still searching past the books and bags of snacks.
“I don’t care about that!” Her stuffy, squeaky voice makes you move the phone away from your ear. “I need it for the charity auction. How else are we going to get all of the items sold if I don’t have it?”
You roll your eyes, grateful she can’t see. “Just wow the PTA and student body with your impeccable charm.”
“Yeah yeah, have you found it yet?”
As you continue your search, an array of your belongings tumble out of your locker. You curse and bend down to pick the contents up. Most of them are some old notes for your current classes, but one makes you stop cold.
Wonyoung’s words fade into the background as you hold up the photo strip of you and Sunghoon. The snapshots captured a perfect moment in time before the last six months of your relationship made everything take a turn for the worst.
“You can’t flip off the camera, Hoon!” You giggle as the timer starts for the next picture.
“It’s our pictures, so I have every right to use my middle finger whenever I want.” He nestles his head further into your neck, kissing the spot below your ear. You may be cramped sitting on Sunghoon’s lap in the photo booth of the arcade, but there’s no other place you’d rather be than with him.
As you laugh at his subsequent joke, the shutter goes off again.
“Your laugh is one of my favorite sounds, you know.” Sunghoon moves a stray hair away from your face, smiling ear to ear.
“That’s funny,” you say with a smirk. “That smile is my favorite thing ever.”
“Fuck off.” Sunghoon suddenly becomes shy, his cheeks turning pink.
“I swear, cross my heart.” You raise your hand in salute, and Sunghoon intertwines your fingers with his own.
As you seal your promise with a tender kiss to his lips, you hear the final click of the camera, content with whatever comes next.
You muffle your mouth with your hands, stifling the sob that started to leave your lips.
“Babe, you alright?” Wonyoung asks, another sniffle ending her question.
“Yeah I-I’m okay.” You shake off your sadness and stuff the photo strip in your locker again, half-determined to throw it in the trash nearby. “I gotta go, lunch is gonna be over in like fifteen minutes.”
“Okay. Next place would probably be your car, so just let me know later if you find it. Love you,” Wonyoung says at the end of the call.
Putting your phone in your back pocket and walking back towards the courtyard, you hear the rustle of hands clapping and feet stomping. Everyone at their picnic tables, like you, look towards the sounds.
The football team, all huddled up, begin chanting once you make it closer to them.
“Hey girl, you need a date. Why not make it #8?” They say the words in a morale-boosting rhythm, repeating them with vigor until other tables around them start chanting too. When the huddle opens at the center, Chan appears with a bouquet of flowers and a huge grin.
The team stops once he’s in front of you, Chan shy but determined. Once he gives you the bouquet, he asks, “Wanna be my date to the formal?”
You hide your face in your hands, a wide grin on your face in spite of your sudden bashfulness. Public proposals were never your thing, but with how much effort the guy put into the surprise, how could you say no?
“I’d love to,” you answer, giving him a hug as the crowd around you hollers in support. You’re grateful to have had Chan these past months while dealing with your heartbreak, it seemed to be a natural progression of your relationship. And while nothing’s set in stone, you’re happy something’s on the horizon for you.
But if you’re so happy, why is Sunghoon the first thing that pops in your head after you agree to Chan’s offer?
Thankfully, Wonyoung’s bracelet was in fact in your car behind the passenger seat. How she managed to get it back there was anyone’s guess, but hopefully that meant she would not be so freaked out about the charity auction next week.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, the high school allowed the cheerleading team to host a charity auction every year for a local nonprofit. This year’s was meant to be for the city’s homeless shelter. You worked there last summer to accumulate volunteer hours, and the people you met there had been on your mind every day since. Your goal was to make at least two thousand, but you wish you could do and earn more on your own accord for them. It was important to give back to others when you had so much and took it for granted. Some knew that better than others.
While printing pamphlets and auction tickets, your doorbell rang. You didn’t expect Wonyoung to be up to seeing anyone given her unwell state earlier on the phone, but it was her lucky bracelet. The faster she had it back in her possession the better.
Pulling the door open, the last person you expect to be waiting at your door is Sunghoon. His expression is an amalgamation of emotions, the biggest ones being disbelief and sorrow.
Any time before, back when he was your entire world, you would have pulled him into your arms and kissed away his pain. Even if you hate to admit it to yourself, a part of you still wishes you could.
But while you can be empathetic, you still have to be tough in his presence. Any sign of fragility, and he’ll see the opportunity to creep back in. “Why are you here, Sunghoon?”
“You’re dating him now?”
You furrow your brows in confusion. “What?”
“Chan. You’re together?” You see the tremble of his bottom lip and the lock of his jaw, his composure clearly hanging by a thread. It’s been a long time since you saw Sunghoon so unguarded, you’re unsure if it’s because he’s truly vulnerable or he’s on his last play to win you back.
No matter the reason, you answer with an exasperated sigh. “He just asked me to the formal, okay? He’s my friend.”
“Friends don’t ask friends to go to the dance with flowers.”
You bite your bottom lip, unsure what to say to that. “It doesn’t concern you anymore.”
Sunghoon releases a bitter chuckle, the sound of the laughter dying on his tongue midway. “It does concern me if you’re with someone else.”
“I just told you–”
“I get that.” He runs a hand through his hair, his voice frail at the edges. “But I know what it's like to want you, and I see it when Chan looks at you. And who can blame him right?”
Taking advantage of your stunned silence, Sunghoon keeps going. “When you asked me before why I love you, I didn’t realize how much I took advantage of you. I didn’t appreciate you the way I should’ve, and now I–I miss so many things. I miss the smell of your perfume in my car and the look you’d give me when you were calling me out on my bullshit, which was eighty-five percent of the time. I miss knowing you had my back even if I was in the wrong because you saw the best parts of me on days I didn’t see them at all.
“I miss you, and I love you, and I don’t know how to stop,” Sunghoon whispers. When he tries to step closer to you, you place a hand on his chest, safeguarding some sort of distance and composure between you. He presses his hand over yours, thumb rubbing across the skin on the back of your hand, making you suck in a breath.
It was every word and more that you yearned to hear from him since you parted ways. While the naysayers continued their dialogue about the demise of your relationship, nobody bothered to think about whether or not you wanted to let go in the first place. You had to, or it would’ve been the same patterns occurring over and over.
Maybe this moment, this speech, and this Sunghoon, can be a break in the chain. Maybe he’s truly adamant on turning over a new leaf for the better, for the chance to try again and do it right this time. Would it be so wrong to take the chance and give him the benefit of the doubt one more time?
But who truly knew he would change his ways except for Sunghoon himself? Could you run the risk of the cycle repeating itself again for the future you wanted? How were you meant to believe him this time with history on your side?
You retract your hand from his chest, your heart cracking in the parts he forced you to mend in the first place. “I can’t do this.”
He swallows forcefully and takes a step back, respecting your wishes. “I understand.” He walks down your driveway and to his car, leaving you with the image of his somber, close-lipped smile.
Sunghoon watches you walk back into your house, his heart in tatters. He looks at the bundle of roses sitting in the passenger seat and promises to himself to fight just a little longer. Giving up means losing you forever, and he’ll die before accepting that loss.
A big banner for the homeless shelter hangs on one of the gymnasium walls. The cheerleaders continue placing decor around the space for tomorrow’s auction, some hand-drawn by the girls and others donated from the PTA in previous years. You look around with your clipboard, items checked off throughout the day to signal your progress. With less than twenty-four hours to go before the auction, it was imperative to create the perfect atmosphere to sell as many items as possible.
Wonyoung skips over to you, her pigtails swinging in the air and a cluster of colorful streamers dangling from her hands. “Where do you want these, babe?”
“Lining the front of the bleachers. That way once the tables are set up we don’t have to work around them.” You check off another bullet,
“You got it boss!” She winks at you, her expression teasing. Before she can walk away though, Principal Han and Coach Chae walk into the gym. Coach Chae has a bouquet while Principal Han holds a thin piece of paper.
The two gentlemen walk up to you and Wonyoung, beaming. “Great turn of events ladies,” Principal Han says. “The auction has been canceled.”
“What,” Wonyoung yells. The two men flinch at her reaction, but Coach Chae laughs off his reaction.
“No need to worry, Miss Jang,” Coach Chae responds. “There will still be a gala. Just not an auction. Think of it as a celebratory gala, if you will.”
“What do you mean?” You ask. You press your clipboard tighter to your chest, anxiety spiking. You put your heart into this event for the success of the fundraiser. Why was it suddenly crashing down?
“Someone already donated more than enough to reach your goal. Five thousand, to be exact.”
A silent gasp leaves your lips. The clipboard almost slips from your fingers, but Wonyoung manages to catch it before it clatters onto the gym floor.
”Holy sh—sorry. Holy moly!” Wonyoung exclaims, a smile matching the ones on the older gentlemen’s faces.
“Congratulations, girls. Now you can kick your feet up and enjoy the festivities tomorrow all thanks to your mystery donor,” Principal Han says.
”Mystery donor?” The mix of emotions in your stomach morphs to confused curiosity. “They didn’t leave their name on the check?”
”No. Just the card that came with the flowers,” Coach Chae answers. He hands the bouquet of roses and the comment card to you, the floral smell suddenly wafting in your nose.
You could recognize the script anywhere, the slants and slopes of the handwriting belonging to only one person. The contents of the card make your heart swell and sink deeper, causing you to question everything once more.
For reminding me to cherish all the things I took for granted.
MARCH
On the night of the Spring Formal, a week had passed since that day in the gymnasium which upended a majority of your feelings. Your thoughts have run rampant in your mind since, regrets and doubts sitting at the forefront of your brain.
Your mother was fixing the last pieces of your hair into the intricate bun she created. Looking in the mirror, the tendrils of your bangs falling out from the hairstyle frame your face. Grace exudes from your makeup and the dress you’ve chosen, the strapless champagne gown the centerpiece of your entire look.
”You’re a vision, honey,” She says, her eyes bright in the hallway mirror behind you.
You may look beautiful, but your thoughts make you feel small, unsure of everything you thought you knew or wanted before.
You had not seen Sunghoon since that night on your front porch almost two weeks ago, your ex choosing to respect your wishes and stay away just as you requested. Now, in spite of all the ways he vexed you to no end, you missed him just like he said he missed you. Maybe you suppressed yourself from grieving the end of your relationship, jumping headfirst into a new friendship with Chan and the other priorities in your life. Or maybe it was because he still had your entire heart, even if you wished he didn’t.
”Chan should be here any minute,” your mother says, interrupting your thoughts.
You respond with a nod and small smile, fidgeting with the top of your dress to conceal some of your cleavage.
Your mother frowns. ”Honey, what’s wrong?” She puts her hands on your shoulders, her presence the right amount of concerned and warm.
”Do you think people can change?”
She gives you a knowing smile, the topic of conversation not being said out loud but obvious to the both of you. “When someone has the desire to, they can. Especially when they have a good reason to.”
The doorbell rings, and she kisses you on the cheek. “I’ll let you get that. I’m gonna run and grab the camera.”
You answer the door, half-expecting to see Chan with flowers and his signature grin. What you find, however, makes your heart constrict with surprise and longing that you didn’t expect to feel so strongly.
Sunghoon in a three-piece suit, hair slicked back, and a corsage looks like the picture-perfect man. When you envisioned this night before, the image of him in front of you always came to mind. And now, you could not be closer to and further from those expectations.
“I wanted to give you this before…I mean, I already bought it, and you deserve to have it.” He twiddles the corsage between his hands. His eyes ask for explicit permission before he places it on your wrist.
Without a second thought, you nod.
Sunghoon steps closer, relieved to have received the green light. The tension between you is palpable in the air, flickering hot and reflecting the same feelings you harbored weeks ago when you were in the same position then. He carefully puts the strap around your wrist, tightening it until it’s snug.
The golden-trimmed roses match your dress flawlessly, so much so you wonder how he managed to remember the color of the dress you dreamed of for this night.
Like he can read your mind, he says, “You’ve been talking about this dance since the start of the school year.” He laughs, the sound hollow.
“Thank you,” you say, the two words expanding far beyond the roses on your wrist.
Thank you for the flowers. Thank you for going above and beyond with that check. Thank you for showing you’re trying.
The smile he gives you touches his eyes, the edges of his expression almost golden in the light of the sunset. “It’s the least I could do.”
Without thinking, he’s so close you can feel the rising pace of his and your breath mixing together. It would be so easy to close the distance, touch his lips with yours, and fall back into his embrace with no regard for the next minute.
Before you can contemplate it further, you see Chan out of the corner of your eye walking up your driveway. His mouth is in a firm line and his posture reflects his discomfort.
Sunghoon steps away from you. He acknowledges Chan with a nod, not terse or disrespectful, but clearly disappointed. He kisses the back of your palm quickly and lets it go. “Have fun tonight, okay?”
Before he walks away for good, leaving you and Chan alone, he finishes with, “By the way, you look breathtaking.”
As Chan gets closer and Sunghoon heads down the road to his car, you think maybe your ex is taking all of your breath with him.
Sunghoon downs the drink in the plastic cup. The tinge of alcohol Jay put in his drink can’t seem to take away the burn of watching you and Chan dance together. The DJ for the dance is playing an uptempo number. Thankfully you’re not holding each other close, but it’s still a punch to the stomach seeing you smiling with a guy that isn’t him. In a gym filled with so many of his peers, he’s never felt so alone.
He drove to the dance by himself, Jake and Jay too entangled in their own love lives to soften the blow of Sunghoon’s continued misery. Heeseung and his girlfriend remain loved up in their own private corner of the dance floor. Sunghoon isn’t jealous or petty, though, although he’s well-accustomed to both emotions at this point. All he feels is some semblance of gratitude for the people enjoying the festivities of the night with a person they care about.
Heeseung’s girlfriend steps away from her partner with a kiss on his lips, somehow sensing Sunghoon’s despair. She walks over to him, a sad smile on her face as she approaches the lone guy at his idle table. “No luck, huh?”
Sunghoon nods and tips his drink at her. “You could say that.”
Heeseung comes up in record time, Sunghoon’s teammate unable to stay away from his lover for too long. He clears his throat and looks toward the younger guy with quiet condolences. “Listen, Hoon. Just talk to her and be honest. Stop dancing around your feelings.”
Sunghoon scoffs into his cup, the sound echoing in the plastic. “As if I could steal her away from beefcake over there. Like your missus said, she’s better off.”
“You know I apologized for that!” Heeseung’s girlfriend mirrors Sunghoon’s reaction, puffing out a breath of air and rolling her eyes. “And if that’s the case, why has she been looking over here at least every five minutes?”
Sunghoon glances past the rim of his cup and catches you staring just as Heeseung’s girlfriend makes her point.
Your eyes are filled with a plethora of unspoken feelings, ones Sunghoon may have the words for but cannot manage to speak. Why did words hold so much more power when it was too late to say them? Did he still have time at all, or was the opportunity to be transparent long gone? It’s too much to process; all he can do is look away from you, the guilt hitting him square in his chest.
Heeseung and his girlfriend share a conspiratory look, plotting something. Sunghoon takes a gulp of air, unsure if he wants to know exactly what they’re planning.
“Be on the rooftop in ten minutes. And make sure you know what you’re gonna say, idiot,” Heeseung’s girlfriend commands, her smirk flashing wickedly under the gymnasium lights.
“Hey!” Heeseung and his girlfriend run up to your spot by the punch bowl. You were absentmindedly staring at the fruit concoction in the tub while Chan had raced off to the bathroom, promising to be back in five.
“What’s up?” You ask, giving his girlfriend a polite and acknowledging smile.
“Something happened on the rooftop with one of the girls on the squad. I think she got food poisoning or something,”
“Yeah,” Heeseung’s girlfriend comments. “Wonyoung told us to get you ‘cause she needs some help bringing the poor girl back downstairs.”
You roll your eyes and set your cup on the plastic table in front of you. If it’s Leeseo again, you may just have to kill her.
The couple follows close behind as you make it to the stairwell door leading up to the rooftop. You wonder why the two didn’t help Wonyoung in the first place, but maybe the girl in question requested you personally and didn’t want to be embarrassed by being assisted by strangers.
Opening the rooftop entrance, you see Sunghoon standing near the edge, kicking gravel off the side of the building. Your heart seizes up, glad but caught off-guard to be seeing him right now.
In an instant, the door closes behind you, locking from the outside. You bang on it, unsure what’s happening. “What the fuck, guys?”
“You’re not coming out until we hear some talking!”
The sudden quiet is deafening, the only reprieve being the breeze passing through the trees surrounding the school. You run your hands across your arms, feeling the chill now that you’re outside but also unsure of what to do in this situation.
Sunghoon immediately sheds his jacket and walks over to you. He waits with the article in his hands before you nod meekly. He wraps it around your shoulders protectively, making sure your arms go through the sleeves. “Better?”
“Much, thank you,” you whisper.
Sunghoon looks deeply into your eyes, knocking any subsequent words from your conscious mind. You bite your lip instinctively, tense from his lack of distance between your bodies. Why did he still have the capability to steal your train of thought without trying?
He blows out a breath, the sound of his voice flimsy in the spring air. “When I first joined the basketball team, I didn’t know if and how I would measure up,” Sunghoon begins. “I was fifteen and terrified of playing next to someone as good as Heeseung and always being compared to him.
“And I took all those worries about being not good enough and took it out on everyone. I let it ruin the most perfect thing in my life because I thought acting like I didn’t care would stop me from feeling insecure. What an idiot, right?”
Sunghoon brushes a free bang from your face. His eyes are glassy, the vulnerability he’s showing you at an all-time high. “I should’ve realized the girl I love didn’t care if I was the best or the worst basketball player ever, as long as I was hers and didn’t forget it. I just didn’t know it then. And now that I’ve realized what a fool I’ve been, all I want now is to spend the rest of my time making it up to her.”
The confession knocks any remaining resolve out of you, unable to bear the pain in his face or the uncertainty that hangs in the air. You slam your lips into his, the kiss both bruising and healing in the same motion. It rejuvenates all the parts of you that had been withered away since the night you broke up and couldn’t be revived without him.
Sunghoon feels the effects of the kiss as well, his gasps and whimpers exemplifying his surprise and relief to have you back in his arms. Holding you, kissing you, being with you, you can tell he’s worried the moment’s a figment of his imagination. If he doesn’t cherish it, you’ll float away. And he can’t survive that for a second time.
You part for air, but your lips still ghost over each other’s, unable to be parted now that he’s within your reach again.
With your voice laced with the unshed tears in your eyes, you ask, “What took you so damn long, you idiot?”
Sunghoon can only respond with a joyful laugh and another kiss to your lips, making up for his unsaid apologies and shit timing with his mouth.
Now that your body is against his, your hearts beating rapidly but once-again in tune with each other, he’s certain now he’ll never be stupid enough to forget your worth and let you go again. Because the pleasure he used to call home is back in his life, and he couldn’t feel more at ease.
Sunghoon’s laughing when he unlocks the front door of his house, his face in a permanent grin since you kissed a few hours prior. You spent the time before ending up here driving around town, too enraptured with each other to focus on your friends or the rest of the dance’s festivities. You didn’t leave without Heeseung giving Sunghoon a slap to the back and Wonyoung crying at your reconciliation.
The house is quiet, a result of Sunghoon’s parents being abroad for the past few days. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look, by the way?” Sunghoon mentions again when he closes the door behind you. He immediately pulls you in by the waist, showering the skin of your neck in kisses.
You giggle and weave your hands into his hair, a gasp leaving you when he takes your earlobe between his teeth. “Probably for the hundredth time by now.”
“Well you do.” He presses another kiss to the spot below your ear, making you shiver. “And I’m not gonna stop saying it.”
You smirk and move your hands to both sides of his face, forcing you to look at him. “I didn’t expect the night to go like this.”
“I hope that’s a good thing.” His voice is teasing, but his eyes are suddenly lined with anxiety. His body tenses in your embrace, the worry that you’re having second thoughts weighing on his happiness.
You ease his doubts with a deep kiss, holding him close and hoping that assures him you’re not going anywhere. “A great thing.”
The smile you love so much appears once he’s at peace, and peppers your entire face with kisses. You laugh out loud, but he can tell you love the adoration he’s providing you.
You could definitely get used to this new Sunghoon, the night already filled with so much magic.
“I’ll be back.” He grins wide, canines on full display. Another kiss punctuates the sentence. “Don’t go anywhere.” Another.
You laugh out loud and nod your head. He dramatically holds onto your hand until he’s forced to let go. He runs down the hallway and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving you in the sitting room of his house.
Twenty minutes later, you’re sitting on the loveseat in the sitting room when Sunghoon comes back out.
“My lady, follow me.” He bows and holds out his hand for you to take, and you smile ear to ear when you lace your fingers with his. You’re unsure what’s waiting for you on the other side of his bedroom door, but you know it must be another surprise your boyfriend has gone above and beyond to amaze you with.
Surely enough, it makes you gasp out loud and press your free hand to your chest.
Sunghoon’s bedroom is showered in a radiant glow from dozens of candles, all different sizes but the same light creating a sweet, calming ambience. Fairy lights hang on the walls, aiding in the atmosphere he’s created. Music plays at a low sound from the speakers near the television, Sunghoon’s phone hooked up to the system. To top it all off, there’s another bouquet of white roses sitting on his side table, some petals lining the edges of the floor around his bed.
When you thought about this night in your dreams, it always ended here, being so in love. He’s made those dreams come true, right down to the letter, and you could not be more in love with him than in this moment.
Sunghoon comes closer. He presses his chest to your back, encasing your body with his arms and kissing your neck once again. You try to stifle the sob that comes out, but he hears it and retracts. “Shit, do you not like it? I can blow the candles out and–”
You turn in his embrace, shaking your head furiously. “No, I love it.” You wipe your tears, laughing at the reaction he’s pulled out of you. “I’m just–it doesn’t feel like it’s real.”
“It is.” He takes the side of your face in his hand, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. “And I’ll remind you every day if you need me to.”
“I love you so much,” you respond, kissing the inside of his palm. You pull him closer, reconnecting your lips with his. You feel whole in a way you haven’t in weeks, knowing now for certain this happiness coupled with Sunghoon’s love is the perfect combination to sustain you.
“I love you too,” he says in between kisses, his mouth turning sloppy. You feel his growing hardness against you. It had been months since the last time you were intimate. You think as Sunghoon pulls you in closer than before, groaning into your mouth, that tonight’s the perfect time to reconnect in more ways than just emotionally.
“I missed you so much,” you moan, tugging his jacket from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. You run your arms across his chest, still covered by the cotton button up he’s wearing, but you quickly make do with the buttons on his shirt to feel the skin underneath.
He shivers under your touch, but he manages to find the zipper of your dress and lower it down until the dress easily slips from your body. You step out of it, careful not to tread over the fabric. Your focus remains on undressing Sunghoon until he’s as naked as you are, wearing only your underwear and shoes. He’s shirtless thanks to you undoing his buttons, but you want all of him exposed.
You try to pull down the zipper of his pants, but he stops you, his eyes lust-filled but patient. “This night is about you, baby. Not me.”
“Please, let me touch you.” You whine, holding onto the belt-loops on his pants.
“Not yet.” He moves you both back until you’re at the edge of the bed. He motions for you to sit down. Once you do, he gets onto his knees in front of you, the man you love on a mission. “Let me make you feel good first.”
He takes the heels off of your feet and sets them down beside your dress. When he does, he begins his slow torture of kissing up your ankles to the insides of your thighs. You lay your body back on his bed, whimpering and body on the verge of shaking when he finally pulls the underwear from your legs.
“Fuck, Hoon,” you say out loud when he presses a kiss to your clit, taking the nub between his lips and sucking tenderly while rubbing his hands on the curves of your hips. He takes one hand to reach out and grab one of your breasts, expertly taking your nipple between his thumb and index finger as his tongue licks along the insides of your center. “Please don’t stop,” you whisper.
“Wasn’t planning on it, my love.” His tongue moves at a faster pace, matching the writhing of your hips crashing into his face to gain every ounce of pleasure he’s giving you.
Before, you wouldn’t have imagined being back in this bedroom with him, and now there’s no other place you wanted to exist.
“Hoon, please. I want you,” you say, one hand clutching his comforter and the other entangled in his hair.
“You have me, always.” His tongue slips inside of your pussy, the feeling of the muscle against your walls causing you to cry out in pleasure.
“I’m not moving until you come, baby. I know you’re close.” The pleasure has been building since the moment he had his mouth wrapped around your neck when you stepped into his house. And now, with his mouth buried inside of you and sweet words accompanying such dirty actions fuels your body’s speedrun to your release.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you curse, your orgasm hitting you like the crash of a wave before you go underwater. But you don’t care to drown if it feels this satisfying.
You laugh breathlessly when the end of your release comes. Sunghoon wipes your essence off of his lips with the back of his hand, smiling bashfully. Every action of his before is incredibly contrary to his shy expression, but you love it.
Ridding himself of his pants, Sunghoon’s cock springs free from the constricting article of clothing. The tip is leaking with precum, but he isn’t in a rush to jump on top of you like the many times before when you both were too frustrated to worry with foreplay.
He kisses you with all he has when he crawls on top of you. His tongue inside of your mouth fills it with the taste of your slick. In a blip, he has a condom in his hand and puts it on with quick skill. There’s no need to prep you, your previous orgasm leaving you wet and waiting for him to line up with your entrance and slip inside.
He does it expertly. Both of you tremble from the feeling you long forgot felt so otherworldly, his cock making a home within your walls and your body adjusting to the delicious stretch.
The song in the background fills your ears with the sounds of a slow-strumming guitar, reflecting the thrust of Sunghoon’s hips. Your hips meet his when he’s filled you to the hilt, causing you to sigh. “Fuck, just like that.”
“You’re so beautiful,” Sunghoon whispers between thrusts, moaning sweet nothings into your mouth. “I love you so much.”
“I love you,” you whisper in kind, gasping. The tip of his cock kisses your cervix with each press of his hips, exiting slowly and pushing back inside until there’s no space left to accommodate him.
How could you be so filled, figuratively and literally, by the love he had to offer you? For anyone else who’s never known the feelings stirring inside of you, a mixture of sinful pleasure and pure happiness, you feel sorry for them. If everyone in the world did, they might have been labeled as two extra wonders of the world.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come again,” you say, clutching onto his hips. You bite down on the skin of his shoulder, releasing your moans into his skin as his pace speeds up.
“Yes, baby, give it to me,” he groans, gulping hard and body frantic to take you both to the your climaxes. You feel the stars behind your eyes when your second orgasm comes, a long cry leaving your lips. Sunghoon matches it with a broken moan, the sound coming out in fragments as he spills inside of the condom.
Sunghoon lathers your face in deep, heartfelt kisses before pulling out. He walks to the bathroom quickly, throwing away the condom in the trash and grabbing a cloth to clean you up. He runs the fabric between your legs, careful not to press down too hard and overstimulate you.
You both crawl under the covers after he throws the rag in his hamper, your body immediately snuggling into his. The crown of your head receives another blitz of kisses, your smile hurting your cheeks from how wide it goes.
“I love you,” Sunghoon says, the words coming without a second thought.
And with no regrets on your mind or in your heart, resolute in your decision to forgive him, you say, “I love you, too, Hoon. Always.”
People could always change if they had the determination and inspiration to do so, and you know that for sure now. In the arms of the one you love, that fact could not be more true.
@mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @dreamiestay
#svnet#enhypen smut#park sunghoon smut#sunghoon fic#enhypen x reader#park sunghoon x reader#enha x reader#enha smut#enha fic#enhypen fic#[ lexi's works ]
612 notes
·
View notes
Text
SOME* OF YA'LL ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR DESIRES, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES
*WARNING: TOUGH LOVE RANT. also, like everything in life, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not doing anything i mention in this post, then this post doesn't apply to you.
before anyone comes for me, MOST of us are going through (or have gone through) hard circumstances. many of us have come from abusive households, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, & just overall bad circumstances.
but you know why the bloggers & anons who succeed in manifesting their desires/desired lives ACTUALLY SUCCEED?
because they took accountability for their current state and their limiting patterns.
because they were disciplined & determined enough to claim their desire(s), apply the law, & persist regardless of EVERYTHING.
because they knew that this practice would actually change their lives forever and allowed NOTHING to stand in their way.
AND GUESS WHAT? NOW THEY HAVE THEIR DESIRES/DESIRED LIFE!
if you were to be 100% honest and tell me why after months/years of being in this community you STILL haven't manifested your desires/desired life yet, what would be the answer?
overconsumption? procrastination? laziness? lack of persistence?
whatever the case may be, what i do know for a FACT is that it has been no one's fault but YOURS.
many of you guys come running on this platform; asking the same repetitive questions, complaining about not seeing results, whining about how sad your life is and how hard your circumstances are, or just straight up hating on some of these bloggers that are helping you FOR FREE, when they could be using that time to enjoy their desires/the life that they manifested for themselves.
LIKE...DO YOU REALIZE HOW PATHETIC & ENTITLED SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE?
"can you pleaseee manifest/tap into the void for me?" 🥺
"im so lazyyy, i can't be bothered to persist..." 🥱
"loa is FAKE! you guys are a bunch of lying b***hes..." 🤬
"my life is sooo hard, i have such a horrible life...*continues to trauma dump*" 😭
OHHH MYYY F*CKINGGG GODDD!
there are MILLIONS of people in the world who are in unfavorable/horrible circumstances that have NO IDEA what the law of assumption is, and have NO WAY to access this type of information!
you guys literally have the knowledge and awareness to make the most beautiful life possible for yourselves with JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, and yet, A LOT of you guys are the most ungrateful, lazy, irresolute, undisciplined whiners, who don't want to do even the BARE MINIMUM to change your entire lives!!
TRUST ME, everyone on this platform (including myself) understands that there will be setbacks. we all know that they are going to be bad days. we all understand that everyone has their own personal/mental issues. we get that life has obstacles and that not every day will be a win.
BUT, you guys NEED to put in the effort & not give up! you guys NEED to STOP letting your ego win! you guys NEED to get tf off of social media and stop overconsuming information. you guys NEED to claim your desires/desired life, stay consistent & persist until your desires/desired life has materialized.
because guess what, a day turns into a year pretty quickly, and you'll have gone another year of NOT having your desires/desired life, and it's going to be no one's fault but yourself...
do you REALLY want another year of watching everyone else get what they want besides you? do you REALLY want another year of not having your desired appearance, your sp, or financial freedom?
REALLY?
i hope the answer is no...because that's a HUGE waste of time that could be used to actually have the things & life you want.
everyone deserves to live the life they want...but at the end of the day, no one & nothing has the power to manifest the life you want but YOU.
#law of assumption#loa#manifest#manifesting#manifesation#spirituality#self concept#neville goddard#success story#void state#void success#void success story
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Malleus, Azul, Lilia, jack, idia with an s/o who’s bad at self care
Malleus draconia
Mall is confused??
Why is the human not takeing care of themselves???
Only really notices after he sees your health, both mental and physical, start to decline
Asks Lilia about what to do because he’s clueless when it comes to humans.
Once he knows however he’s going straight to you and he’s goona make you do self care whether you like it or not.
It’s simple self care but it’s self care.
Pops out of nowhere and proceeds to make you drink water, no he doesn’t care that you did 5 minuets ago his s/O needs to stay hydrated.
If for whatever reason the dark fae is unable to remind you to take a break or eat or drink water he’ll have sebek bring you a water bottle
Makes you take little breaks
Watches you like a hawk because he wants to make sure that you arnt pushing yourself.
Simple but effective self care is the way to go with malleus, it’ll always be pretty simple but it’s all the love and care he puts into things like makeing you eat something or makeing you drink water.
Azul ashengrotto
Your both in the same boat here
Azul definitely over works himself and 100% isn’t very good with self care
But when he sees the signs that you also aren’t? He tries.
Noticed pretty quickly, he’s the same way and knew the signs of a lack of self care.
He makes Shure you both eat some food and also that you both drink water, maybe even take a little break.
See, you not being good at self care gets him to do alot of little things for the both of you, like in order for you to take a break he has to take a break, and if you drink water he will suddenly feel thirsty.
Sometimes it won’t actually be a “break but more of a change in location. Can be having you feel like a sad zoo animal
He’ll drag you to mostro lounge/out of his office and will sit with the fishes or other things depending on were you are
Azuls also likes to rant and listen to you rant. He’s a good listener and will listen to you vent for as long as you need while you both cuddle because he's✨✨touch starved✨✨
Azuls self care is a lot of little things that make a big difference he really does try for you and you gradually get better together
Lilia vanrouge
Noticed right away and his dad senses kicked in
You really thought he wouldn’t notice after raising 3 kids???
Hahahahhahahkekekeke
Makes you drink lots of water, go on walks, take breaks have a nice shower, the works.
He often has to remind sebek to take breaks and drink water, same with silver but for different reasons
Tries to cook for you so you have something to eat but I think that’s more self harm then care if you eat it.
But hey! It’s the thought that counts!
Scolds you lightly when you don’t self care and gives you "the dad lecture” ™
His internal clock is wired to chime of at certain times of day and make sure everyone drinks water/eats/takes a break
He’s very good about self care and he subtly ingrains it into your very soul.
Almost trains you like pavlovs dogs kekekekek
At a certain time you’ll feel the sudden urge to have a little self care, whether you like it or not.
10/10 dad Lilia comes through once again
Jack howl
Aggressively cares about you
You better self care or else
*chucks water bottle at you* stay hydrated!!!
Gives you a plant because plants are good and you need it
Makes you take breaks whether you like it or not
Good luck not self careing
He can sense if you haven’t
Seriously its like a 6th sence
Like you can be walking by and he’ll come up to you and tell you to go self care
Don’t argue with him
It’s pointless
Imagine doing face masks with Jack
Idia shroud
Alright so this is a weird on because like Azul idia is high key shit at takeing care of himself
But on the other hand he definitely worries about the people he cares about
So when he notices (almost instantly) that his light, his player 2, isn’t takeing care of themselves?
🅝🅞
So he forces you to self care, shower, drink water, eat something other then monster and Doritos (or candy)
Also has you do face masks and things he found on “howtorelax. Com”
Witch is really good because it kinda tricks him into doing self care himself
So you’ll both get something (somewhat) good to eat, put on a face mask and watch anime together
👉👈 maybe cuddle
It’s really shocking how adamant he is about self care when he himself is so bad at it for himself, but your someone he cares about, a lot, so of course he’s worried about you
Has set timers on his computers for when you should get water and take a break/cuddle him
Expect visits from his tablet and/or ortho telling you to drink water/come to Ignyhide
Idia still won’t go outside-outside but maybe a little walk around Ignyhide won’t hurt (but only if your with him)
Also walks you to class when he’s (unjustly) forced to attend a physical class
And as much as he would like to just nyoom and zoom to his next class lickaty split he makes small stops to get water with you if it isn’t to busy (a.k.a. no people)
#twst x reader#malleus x reader#azul x reader#lilia x reader#jack x reader#idia x reader#malleus draconia x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#jack howl x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#azul ashengrotto#lilia vanrouge#jack howl#idia shroud#twisted wonderland x reader#twst
752 notes
·
View notes
Text
impulsivity in bpd can be cutting and dyeing your hair, but it’s also frying and destroying your hair to a point where it’s completely ruined and you’re self conscious of it everyday.
impulsivity in bpd can be having an attitude and saying some petty things to people, but it’s also ruining every good friendship and relationship you’ve ever had and you can’t stop yourself from sabotaging everything, so you end up alone in a deep pit.
impulsivity in bpd can be having some drinks, doing dr*gs, or having a lot of meaningless sex. but it’s also relying on drinking and dr*gs so much that you’re completely off your face all time and it ruins your image and every aspect of your life. and it’s also no one wanting a relationship with you because you “sleep around” or “probably have an std”.
impulsivity in bpd can be browsing an fps facebook. but it’s also stalking their every move online and their every step in the real world constantly because you need them so bad. you can’t live without knowing if they’re okay, knowing what they’re doing, knowing if they’re leaving you for someone else, etc.
the list goes on. us borderlines post a lot of shit about bpd, and in my personal case, laughing it off and sharing it to others makes me feel a bit better and i know that it makes others feel less alone knowing that other people are doing the same horrendous shit. but stop romanticising being obsessive, quirky, impulsive, and having an attitude. it’s fucking painful. the emotional aspect is PHYSICALLY painful. watching the world crumble around us because most of us can’t fucking stop ourselves is painful. the withdrawals from substances, s/h, etc because we are so prone to addiction is PAINFUL. i’m all for supporting our fellow borderlines and cluster b peoples, but STOP self diagnosing to be “trendy”. i’m not on about self diagnosing, etc if you’re certain and it means you’re getting the support that you absolutely need. everyone is deserving of help, whether healthcare wants to agree or not, EVERYONE deserves the help they need. but stop trying to make bpd sound fun. being euphoric is fun, the rest of it IS NOT. ITS FUCKING PAINFUL. thank u bye 💕
(ps. i hate making rant posts about this, but seeing people act like bpd is a “fun choice” in life pisses me the fuck off, every day is just pure fucking suffering. the people romanticising and hyping this shit up are the same people who will talk shit about any cluster b who is showing symptoms or having one hell of an episode. but this NEEDS to be out there x)
(edit: the amount of support i’ve had on this is unreal 😭❤️ i tried to word this the best i can but when i have a lot to say it often comes out making no fucking sense at all or something comes off the wrong way. i saw someone reply about the yanderes shit. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. i don’t know why the fuck people fetishise it, it makes me feel disgusting to have an fp even if i’m keeping as far away from them as possible. and also the “euphoric is fun”, i still do a lot of embarrassing and over the top shit when i’m euphoric that i regret. but in the moment, the happiness i feel i just embrace now because it’s not been often that i ever get to feel like that. thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, i really hope this post has helped y’all. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️)
#bpd#bpd fp#bpd feels#bpd culture is#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd safe#fp bpd#psych is allergic to borderlines#bordahline pershonality dishorder#actually borderline#borderline pd#borderline personality disorder#borderline#borderline culture is#cluster b
526 notes
·
View notes
Text
Getting deep into the x men fandom means seeing ships I don't agree with, so I don't interact, seeing posts that mischaraterizes one of the deepest charaters possible, so I don't interact, Seeing people actively say things that are blatantly wrong, so I don't interact.
Getting a large following is also kind of frustrating (Im not complaining I love you guys!) But I've had to block 2 people already today because they keep leaving rude replies to my comments on OTHER peoples posts or purposly come to my blog to tell me that how I view a charater is wrong. Had someone tell me that the stuff that happens in MY au is dumb because "that would never happen" like yeah bud. The writers at Marvel are too much of cowards for it to happen, hence why i'm here.
So my thing is... if im chosing not to interact with all of this- why is it still on my feed?
I feel like the more I ignore it the more I see and I do not wish to be the type to block someone simply because they make one post about a ship that personally isn't my cup of tea.
Also- I think Im starting to see the different sides of extremes, especially when it comes to one specifc charater.
Logan.
I have seen dozens of lovely stories, lovely rants, lovely head canons about this man-
But something that feels weird (to me at least) is people who are 45+ yelling at people who aren't even 18 that their story/headcanons are trash because they've "been enjoying Logan for 40+ years" as if this gives them any right to tell a 17 year old that they shouldnt write a charater how they see them.
It's also weird to me that there seems to be two sides.
Logan IS an animal and that's perfectly okay.
Or
Logan ISN'T an animal, and everyone who headcanons him as animalistic is fetishizing his mutation and are insulting him.
I get not liking a certain trope, but sir, that person is young enough to be your child. You have to accept that we all grew up with different versions of each charater. I Personally didn't grow up with any and get the luxury of indulging in all sorts of media all at once- therefore getting to see him from multiple sides and pictures.
I completely understand if you grew up with the original series and are upset to see that kids are headcanoning your stone cold angst biker man as wearing bow clips and 'making biscuits' on a pillow while watching gilmore girl with his boyfriend, and wearing pink fluffy hello kitty pants and a tight shirt that says "Milk"
I completely understand if you grew up with the movies and see him as a sexy gruff hot buff man and you love to write lots and lots of steamy x reader about him.
I completely understand if you LIKE logan wearing hello kitty pants and don't agree with the idea of him being a dark edgelord, lone wolf charater.
Do you know what I don't understand? Fighting over a charater when different timelines have been canon since the 80s. The Time Variance Authority (TVA) first appeared in Thor #372 (October 1986) which means ALL of your logans are the correct logan. Just not all the same.
Do I think Wolverine Orgins Logan would wear pink hello kitty pants? Nah.
Do I know that Deadpool and wolverine Logan is a whole different universe then Orgins Logan? Yes.
That's why people tag different logans and different aus. So what is all the fuss about?? What happened to the more the merrier?
Theres so many different versions of comic book logan, too, so don't even go there.
Feel free to ask my personal opinions but as far as I stand I could never be foolish enough to seriously go into someone elses post and genuinely be upset at them for how they perceive a charater. I get second hand embaressment when ever I see ANYONE doing it.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I don't care if I lose followers for this. Let the door hit you on the way out. There aint no reason to be harrassing folks.
#certified long ahh post#and yes#I dont care if you're a minor if youre on the internet you have the responsibility to understand social etiquette enough not to pull some bs#you only get to be an ass if you are the creator theirself of said character. periodt.#deadpool and wolverine#x men#x-men#x men orgins#x men origins: wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine#thanks for coming to my ted talk#poolverine#deadclaws#fandom behaviour#social etiquette#dont be a prick#click off or scroll#it aint hard#wolverine x men#x men wolverine#weapon x#feral logan#worst wolverine#logan james howlett
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
i REALLY didn't want to interact with the fandom yet bc I wanna play Pristine Cut 100% spoiler free but I got the Happily Ever After chapter 3 and I'm going insane over it.
It's just. The amount of parallels between Echo and Smitten on that route as well as the depth that it adds to both of them are driving me NUTS
So first of all, can we all agree that they basically did the same thing? Even though they have previously only opposed each other, they ended up doing the exact same thing for pretty much the same reason.
Echo created the construct to keep the universe from facing oblivion/save it (In his eyes). Smitten created his own construct (Bc that's literally what that cabin was!! A construct!!!) to keep the Princess safe and happy (In his eyes).
They both sacrificed themselves to create the construct, leaving behind only a nearly powerless echo of who they once were. This echo is really only capable of achieving their goals in a very limited way (The Narrator by moving stuff in his favor through perception, Smitten by keeping both you and the Princess seated as well as bring her what he thinks would please her).
They both try to force their beliefs of what would be better for everyone else unto them without even considering if that's what they really want. (Narrator through the "good ending" and Smitten through his "happy ending").
It's just. The way they keep telling the person that they are happy even though they obviously aren't!!!
Going back to those names as well. They are definitely meant to be parallels. "Good ending"? "Happy ending"? They are pretty much synonyms.
Also, the way the sacrifice is done. We don't know much about Echo but the scene with Smitten right before the epilogue starts I think gives us a lot of insight of how it might've worked:
Smitten ripped himself out of TLQ's body and poured out into the outside world, forcing his will over the Princess and probably aldo channeling her power to get what he wanted. I think that gives us a good idea of what Echo could've done. Both Damsel and the Sleeping Mound are malleable.
And uh, end of rant.
I have no idea if any of that is coherent, I'm pouring out words as they come out.
I love this game with all my heart, I can't wait to continue playing it and discover more routes.
#stp#slay the princess#stp narrator#stp smitten#stp happy ending#stp happily ever after#Also could we call this version of Smitten “Echo! Smitten”?#Or would that be too confusing#No spoilers pls I'm still not done with the game#Ramble
159 notes
·
View notes
Text
we've got long memories
I am not the least bit surprised by any of the tidal wave of antisemitism the left has spewed since October 7th. Every single post saying Hamas did nothing wrong; every single targeted attack on my fellow Jewish people on this site; the number of people who proudly paraded misinformation and disinformation to the extent of funding organizations actual Palestinians have said outright don't help them in any way just because it's against Israel which means that it must be good. None of this is surprising to me.
Now, maybe you could say that I'm a cynical bastard, and you'd be right. But you'd also completely be missing why I'm a cynical bastard. I learned this from my mother, who was beaten up just for being Jewish as a child. I learned this from family who disappeared between my ancestors fleeing the countries they came from and looking to see who made it with them. I learned this from the story of one of my grandfathers picking a new birthday because his birth certificate had been burned when the Shul was destroyed so he had no idea when it was. I learned this from people using "Jewish" as an insult in school and watching a girl I knew break down in tears because people were calling her a Jew when she wasn't. I learned this from holiday after holiday that repeated the same verse of people trying to destroy us and us celebrating our survival.
We remember these things because the rest of the world is very good at deliberately forgetting them.
"It's not that bad because it happened to the Jews. It's not an actual problem because Jews are white anyway. Was the Holocaust really even so terrible? Why do you want to be oppressed so badly if not to use it as a weapon against people who you're oppressing yourselves?"
Some variety of every single one of those is something I've seen in recent memory.
So, dear Passionate Goy Internet Leftists who have spent the last few months attacking and accosting every single Jewish person who dares to speak on the issue in any way that doesn't make them a Good Jew?
My dear friend, just know that we will remember you. You can try to go back to normal. You can try to just sweep it under the rug. You can try to act like it was all just business as usual and there was no harm done to any "Good Jews" and just to the "Evil Zionists" (both of which deserve their own rant post and have multiple of them from people a lot smarter than I am).
We will remember what you did
You will never be able to make us forget you calling for our deaths
And most of all, we will outlive you, just like everyone else who ever bayed for our blood
#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#jewblr#jewish and proud#never forget#free palestine from hamas#am yisrael chai
406 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?
get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO
im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations
(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)
(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)
Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)
Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly
Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links
Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,
i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff
but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,
why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??
not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,
id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,
“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”
when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!
Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc
and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao
is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol
very much so this meme:
(ur welcome i made it myself <3)
anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic
abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,
but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao
the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”
Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,
has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species
(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)
Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too
tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule
you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out
(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)
☆
i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks
no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys
i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/
pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow
AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians
have a great week!!
Peace out hugs and chaos,
🌙
#male reader#link x reader#lu x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe reader#lu x male reader#loz link x reader#linked universe male reader#moon asks#lu x masc reader#lu guide reader#lu humans are space orcs au#lu humans are Not hylians au
259 notes
·
View notes