#I hate them for treating me like a disease
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Ok Mouthwashing crew cat assignment as well as hcs.
(all images are taken from google search)
Curly: the hardest for me to assign, I would say Main Coon or LaPerm. They have personally similar to Curly's and appearance vise too.
Cat Curly would get along with all the cat crew. He loves to sit near windows and observe the outside world. His favourite toy would be fish shaped, but he doesn't have any strong preference. This kitty is very polite and clever: when you call your cats he understands you and gathers all others cats. The best bug hunter, Curly will save you from any unwanted bug. Brings stuff to you too, like small trinkets or even his prey (still alive though, be careful!!). Camera likes him and he does very good poses.
Post stove cat Curly would be alert and quiet. Unfortunately he would be depressed, having troubles playing and eating, preferring to sleep at some secure place without people. Meanwhile cat Jimmy would become more confident and erratic, making trouble for everyone in the house. Curly wouldn't like taking his meds at all, his meows are extremely hard to listen to. Cat Anya could be found near him more often.
Jimmy: street Tabby cat with evil looking green eyes (found with flees and diseases tooššš)
Cat Jimmy is a menace. Knows he is not allowed to scratch furniture and walls but still does it. Takes others' toys and hides them all the time. Fail cat because he can't groom himself properly (cat Curly has to help). Meows are weird and loud: DO NOT close any doors. Jimmy loves hunting, always in hunting mode but as mentioned above he is a fail cat. Play fights with Curly a lot, once he tried with Swansea and it didn't end well for him. HATES patting but doesn't mind head scratching. His tail is a no-no. Steals food from others, especially Curly (because he lets him), so you have to lock Jim away somewhere.
Swansea: Persian is made for him!!
Cat Swansea is very old and independent. He's hard to read, but if you manage to learn how, you'll be rewarded. Likes to be alone and watch the order in the house from his favourite spot. Quite distressed if something is amiss and doesn't like new stuff and strangers, especially kids but he has the saint's patience. Flicks tail in annoyance, flicks tail in annoyance, flicks tail in -- Swansea can eat anything, but he knows he's not allowed to eat human food. Would still look veeery intently at the ice cream you bring. If it doesn't contain chocolate, give him a lick or too....
Anya: unsurprisingly Russian Blue, from my experience very gentle cats.
She doesn't get along with all the cats. She and cat Jimmy have had nasty fights (he always initiated them), other cats had to step in as well as you. Anya enjoys human company more, especially if it's the humans she knows. Otherwise she hides somewhere for a while and then tentatively returns to sniff newcomers. She can sense negative emotions well so she will come and sit on the lap and purr... for hours. Cat Anya loves sleeping beside you or under your covers with you. She chirps and looks at you when you call her. A foodie, don't feed cat Anya too much or she will get sick.
Daisuke: Japanese bobtail cat with calico tri colour coat (cute bell provided)
Cat Daisuke is a menace but in light-hearted sense. He loves to explore your house, always gets stuck somewhere or breaks something but never on purpose. If you open a cabinet or a drawer, expect to find him sitting there (he will learn to open things himself anyway). Jumps when scared but quickly recovers. He's a young cat so he's still very active, loooves to play, the faster the game the better. Doesn't like to play alone though, he needs attention from anyone or he will sulk. Successfully begs for treats: Daisuke looks very cute and polite and you hate yourself for caving in every single time. Sticks to cat Swansea: one time Swansea hisses at Daisuke, the other time he grooms the younger cat. Strange.
#thought about kissing jimmy's ālittle greasy headā and got blessed with idea#i think there was a warrior cats au circulating somewhere#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing
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The school has been discriminating against me since i came out as a lesbian. It started off Minor, understandable issues and concerns. But over time there have been more calls to my parents over Minor things, more meetings, more little problems with me and my behavior. What I say and my "intention behind it". I just want to like girls in peace. I have done what they asked. I've kept my head low, I've not been loud about it, but this has been building for too long, and this is the last straw.
I swear, they are so scared that the gay is contagious. They think I'm going to cough and infect you with the gay. I just want te be left alone, yet they treat my like a threat. They bring guns and tanks, to a battlefield that was never a battle to begin with. They point their fingers and make their accusations against me. They watch me from every angle, expecting me to lunge at them like a feral animal. They watch me with bated breath, awaiting my next move. Awaiting the next thing I do slightly wrong that they can leap at. They lay in wait, traps at the ready, foaming at the mouth with rabid hatred for me, and yet they expect me to be the villain.
I am not the villain to your story. The only difference between me and the people around me, is our preference in partners, but yet you hold me under the guillotine, waiting for me to commit a crime you can execute me for. You make yourselves the hero, looking upon the child you have made your villain.
You will rejoice upon making a system in which children will be discriminated against and made to keep silent. But when one child dares to defy you, dares to speak up against the tyrannical reign you have created for yourself, you fear as you feel your fragile throne tremble.
It's truly disappointing to watch adults prepare their troops and ready their cannons, against a foe that never even existed.
I do not want war.
I am not a threat to you.
I want to be left alone.
But you despise and you discriminate against me. You tell the world that I am a threat. That I will terrorize you and your children. That I will be the ruin of this place.
it's pathetic.
#school#personal vent#rant#angry rant#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lesbian pride#gay#homophobes suck#They hate me for being a lesbian#I hate them for treating me like a disease#I don't care if no one sees this#I am pissed about it
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I was just hit with a memory from high school from when I asked if I could zoom into class on days that my chronic illness/pain was so bad that I couldnāt attend school, and they said no because it was only for people who had Covid :)
#what difference does it make?#teachers were required to zoom their classes even if no one was absent from Covid#tell me why they said I would get in trouble and marked as absent if I did school that way#like I get they donāt want everyone to go home and start zooming classes again as they try to move them back in person#but if I could provide legitimate evidence from my doctors that there is a reason I canāt attend school why could that not remain an option#Iām fortunate that I havenāt experienced that as much in college#but itās another forgotten memory about how much I hated the public school system and the way theyāre treated disabilities#at least in my district#chronic pain#chronic illness#cw chronic illness#cw chronic pain#ibs problems#scoliosis#degenerative disc disease#sciatica#bone pain
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idk i think a lot of people sort of build up schizo-spec diagnoses in their head as this example of a "clearly biomedical disease that is the scariest possible example of mental illness that is always a crisis no matter what." and i'm not going to sit here and say that schizoaffective is always pleasant to live with, or pretend that it's something that I can manage perfectly-it does cause me distress a lot of the time, and makes some things very difficult. but for me, psychosis is by far not the most difficult symptom i have to deal with, compared to some of the other things that have brought me distress. And yet it's always the symptom that is reacted to with the most fear, confusion, and disgust by other people. I hate it when people generalize psychosis as always and inherently and forever a crisis, and ignore the fact that everyone who experiences psychosis is going to have their own experiences, perspectives on how it impacts them, and that treating psychosis as a super scary, inherently dangerous symptom is incredibly stigmatizing and prevents us from receiving support and care from our communities.
idk. i just really wish people would realize that for some people, psychosis can sometimes be a neutral or even positive experience (i've had some incredibly lovely psychosis experiences), and that by positioning psychosis as a "super scary disease that has no quality of life" and only offering carceral solutions, it perpetuates a pattern where we get continually pushed into harmful treatments. Instead of a situation where our autonomy is respected, where we're offered a wide variety of treatments from meds to therapies to peer support like Hearing Voices Network to material community based support and where we're allowed to define our own experience of psychosis based on how it actually affects us. like, i don't want to deny that psychosis is often distressing for many of us--but I do think we have the responsibility to evaluate where we've learned about psychosis, what societal messages we've internalized about psychosis, what kinds of knowledge about psychosis do we not have access to, and just actually think in depth about how our biases impact how we communicate about psychosis.
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Kinktober day 5
Kurt Wagner + Uniform Kink
Priest Kurt :3 Also talks of religious trauma.I know religious imagery hates to see me comin. Readers a visible mutant, inspired somewhat by Killer croc. Readers 8ft tall.
I know very little about catholic priests, the area I grew up was Lutheran. This also takes place at some point on Krakoa. This ended up being more story driven honestly, but I had fun writing it anyways. Not proofread, because I cant be bothered.
Kinktober 2024 masterlist
You had a strained relationship with religion, even if your entire family had been true to the faith. You may have been too, years ago, before your mutation manifested. Back when you had been nothing but their darling son, their gift from whatever god they worshipped, after so many years of trying. The gift just seemed giving, as your parents had more kids after you, giving you siblings.
You didnāt have many good memories with them. You got to hold the first two that were born, even play with them, but then your mutation started. It started out as patches of dry skin, something that could be treated with thick ointments and long baths. Theyād thought it was a skin disease back then, and it had been winter, so it was all blamed on the dry weather.
It was harder to deny when the scales started appearing, and when you woke up to your gums bleeding from your new teeth growing in. your sobbing had awoken your mother, who had screamed bloody murder when she saw you. There werenāt many memories of that night, or the next couple of years at that. The human mind worked in strange ways, and yours decided to supress that part of your childhood.
All you remembered were flashes of coldness, of being locked away in what could only have been the basement. Of the churches priests and whoever else they thought might ācureā you of your ādiseaseā. You remembered your father yelling about what he must have done wrong to gain a demon like you as his child. You remembered the quiet whispers in the kitchen at night, that you only were able to hear because of your enchanted senses.
You remember how your mother whispered to your aunt, that this was her fault. That you were the result of an affair, so this had to be God punishing her for her sins. You heard how more siblings were born, how they were told to stay away from the basement no matter what, and punished hard if they even went near it. There wasnāt much entertainment down there, your so-called parents only leaving you with religious texts and whatever else they thought might āsaveā you.
There was no want inside you to get out, even after what must have been years. Your mutation meant you barely needed to eat, to drink, or sleep. Most of your time was simply spent, listening to your family. Because of that, you learned the same things your siblings did because they needed help with homework, or you got to keep up with the news on the radio. You had accepted it.
It was only when one of your youngest siblings discovered you that it all crumbled. She was young, as small as you had been the day your dry skin started appearing. You knew her name, having heard your mother sing her praises because she had always wanted a daughter. And she wasnāt afraid of you. She spoke to you, sitting with her knees tucked under her chin, telling you about mass, about how God would love you anyways, even if you looked different, because he loved everyone.
But the good never lasts, and she was discovered by your not so shared father, and she was punished. Her screaming awoke something deep and feral inside you, a hatred you had never tapped into. Something that had you tearing your chains like they were made of sugar, your claws drawing deep gouges in the walls as you wrenched your way upstairs. The door split like paper under your giant clawed, scaley hand, the hand of a monster, a demon.
The noise you let out was like that of the demons of hell, something deep, snarling and terrifying. Your mother and fathersā eyes widened in terror, your brothers, the two you got to hold, were terrified. The siblings that never knew you existed wet themselves or started crying in terror. And your sister. Your sweet. kind sister, was a curled-up bleeding ball on the floor, and yet she still smiled at you.
None of the family dared move as you picked her up, she was so small she fit in one of your giant clawed hands. You had never realized how big you were, but as you stared down at your parents with such hatred, it truly sank in. your father who had always seemed so big, as if he were God himself, trembled like a leaf because of you.
They didnāt stop you as you left, tearing the front door of its hinges with nothing but a small nudge, leaving it split in two in the front yard. It was night, and it was one of those white picket fence neighbourhoods, where you preached Gods love, but ignored how the neighbour beat their children bloody.
Having your sister die in your arms was what broke you, for a long time. You werenāt older than 20 at the time, you at least thought that was your age. And yet, you stood taller than any human man, broader and strong enough to tear buildings apart. And still you couldnāt save her. you wanted to rampage, to kill and destroy everyone and everything. But you knew your sister loved this place, even after they mistreated her so. So in the end you buried her somewhere nice, and left.
The brotherhood of mutants wasnāt a choice you thought much about taking. You were no hero, and by the time you learned about the x-men, there was already way too much blood on your hands and in your teeth. That was where you met Kurt, on the battlefield. At that point he was just an enemy, someone you could turn that deep burning rage against. Feed that blood thirsty demon in your chest, to make it quiet for a little while once more.
It took you years to learn more than that they were enemies, the x-men. Your pain must have been written on your face from the very start, even The Wolverine seemed to have a semblance of worry for you. But you didnāt care, you just needed to hurt somebody, and it was easy to run in the direction you were given and lose yourself to your demons.
There were times you would pray, times when you were alone and hurting more than normal. But it never felt like God answered. And why would he. You were a monster put on this earth to punish your mother for her sins, her very sins woven deep into your very being and fuelling you.
At some point you left the brotherhood. Even that wasnāt enough anymore to quiet your demons and pain. It had been years at that point, and Nightcrawler was still just an enemy whoād grown from a small annoying pipsqueak to a slightly bigger but even more annoying pipsqueak. That very furry blue elf had a knack for finding you, wherever you went.
Most of the time you assumed he wanted to fight, but Nightcrawler, Kurt, would just sit by you in his own contemplating silence. At times he talked, other times he was silent. Sometimes he sat close beside you, sometimes meters away. Him talking about his faith made your heart race, but knowing he too experienced pain because of his appearance helped, somewhat.
Time still passed, you still werenāt a good person. The x-men and mutant-kind settled down on Krakoa. You did not, at least not for a long time. You had settled down far away from everything, somewhere with a nice deep lake where you could sink to the bottom, and imagine you were in purgatory because you never thought you would go to heaven.
Of all people to drag you to Krakoa, you had never imagined it would be The Wolverine, Logan. He gave some big spiel about hating yourself ruining it all for you, trust him, he knew. At that point in your life, you didnāt care much, nothing mattered and everything was just a blur, the demon in your chest dormant and worthless.
Krakoa was nice, people even treated you kindly even after your time with the brotherhood. Your suffering must have been so obvious for them to just accept you with such open arms, thinking about it made you cringe. Kurt was still nice. He was older, had the starts of a moustache, and the garb of a priest.
Seeing the outfit made your pupils sharpen and your heart lurch, some deeply ingrained animal reaction. Hearing about the faith he ran, smoothed down some of your sharp scales, something that yes, had its roots in Catholicism, but was so much more accepting and kinder. The thought of being part of it made your mouth sour, but there was also no pressure from anywhere to join.
You and Kurt grew closer, over time. It was a slow and careful path, all your relationships on this island were. But Kurt was special, in the way he smiled, the way he smelled, the way you became so comfortable in his presence that he could sit on your shoulders. And the way you both grew so close, that it didnāt even fell like sin when he kissed you.
Kissing Kurt must have been what Adam and Eve felt when biting the apple, tempted by the snake to break the one rule they were given to follow. And yet, like Adam and Eve, you broke that rule anyways. Kurtsās fur wasnāt long, but it was soft to the touch, some areas longer than others and carrying a natural curl. The scent of sulphur and the incense he would use in his thurible, became what put the demon inside you to rest, for good.
And maybe Kurt was pavloving you a little. It wasnāt on purpose, you think. He would simply regularly wear his priest outfit, his alb, his chasuble, his stole and amice. And he would kiss you and taste like ambrosia, like something worth sinning for. Kurt would smell and taste so divine, and would touch you so lovingly. At times you were scared to touch, fearing you would hurt him too, but even then, Kurt taught you to trust yourself.
So, who could you truly blame for getting heated, whenever you got to watch Kurt dress himself. You didnāt have a tail like he did, but you did bury yourself in your giant shared bed and rumble deep in your chest like the reptile you shared features with. It seemed so sinful and sensual, even if it truly wasnāt his intention. To see how carefully Kurt draped fabric over his body, or how his tail would flick and make the light fabrics flutter. It made a whole never demon inside you yearn.
You didnāt want to dirty his outfit, shaming yourself for even thinking it. How sinful, how evil, how demonic. But it was yet another thing you sucked at hiding, to the point where the other x-men, your friends now, started making jokes that you churred whenever Kurt would flutter by in it.
You denied it, of course, but that didnāt mean it wasnāt true. And that didnāt mean Kurt hadnāt planned out how to give you what you both wanted. Which was how you found yourself laying back against your many pillows, Kurt in nothing but his alb and prayer beads in your lap, his three fingered hands against your chest.
It still felt so terrifying to indulge in those wants, even as you dug your claws into the bed as Kurt so slowly rode you, his hips moving at a pace that had your toes curling. Anything he did would have most likely had that reaction, but his soft accented voice cooing loving words at you, only served to leave you feeling more melted on the insides.
It was embarrassing how fast you finished. But who could blame you. You never had much experience, hell, you could count on two hands how many times you had ever touched yourself. It was no surprise you would cum so quickly, Kurtsās tail thrashing from side to side as he was filled more than he imagined possible.
His kisses were still just as sweet, as he worked himself over the edge too, dirtying his alb and your scaley stomach. This moment, Kurtsās act of dirtying his uniform himself, seemed to have been the only sign you needed, after that it was free game. He was the apple and the snake at the same time, packaged in blue fur and yellow eyes, his tail curling in coy ways only you knew how to read.
Kurt could never hate it, instead almost preening with pride as you finally let yourself indulge. Fucking him on the altar was a fantasy he had carried for a while, and when you finally did it the blue furred mutant almost passed out from how hard he finished, having to dig his fangs into his stole to keep from wailing at the intensity.
You would never step foot back into religion again, never to the extent where you could call yourself someone of faith, and Kurt would never force you. But you did end up going to Kurts services, on rare occasions, but that was more because you were excited for what would happen afterwards, after everyone else left. There was a demon in your chest, born from your familyās sins, fed by your own and nurtured to destroy. But Kurt tamed it, brushed its fur and held it close. There was a demon, and it was his.
#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#marvel#x-men#xmen#kurt wagner imagine#kurt wagner headcanon#kurt wagner x male reader#kurt wagner x reader#nightcrawler imagine#nightcrawler headcanon#nightcrawler x male reader#nightcrawler x reader#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#x-men imagine#x-men headcanon#x-men x male reader#x-men x reader#xmen imagine#xmen headcanon#xmen x male reader#xmen x reader
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TW ā Asylum/Hospital setting, mental disorders, medical malpractice
Inspired by Fran Bow, Sparklecare, Pure Trance, and other such things; I had an idea for a Dandyās World AU that centers around a hospital setting
I feel like a lot of people donāt like asylum or hospital AUs because they are full of exaggerated or misinformed ideas of what mental illness is. I tried not to do that, though Iām not a professional so I still might be wrong about some things. I donāt want to take this idea too far in fear that it might be distasteful, but I do want to share this idea to see if others like it too.
Dandyās Care is a separate world where, instead of a museum, Dandy and his friends were meant to be for a childrenās hospital to treat the sick and ill. They were meant to be comfort characters to patients and were meant to support them during their stay. Like in Dandyās World, the hospital shut down due to unspecified sanitation issues. Dandy, also known as Dr. Dandicus Dancifer, slowly became more and more starved for activity. He started targeting his friends, making the hospital into an asylum for them. He changed their characters, changing his friends into patients. The toons have no memory of their former self, only knowing their diseased and ill present self.
The staff is made up of the main toons. All of them are nurses and Dandy is the main doctor. They all act like their former selves, though they have no memory. I didnāt want to draw all of them so just imagine Astro and Vee in these uniforms.
Read more to see other toons (not all of them drawn or thought of yet, donāt attack me ;-;) ā
Razzle and Dazzle, the only ones that I thought of completely because I already drew them before. Theyāre the reason why I made this entire thing anyway.
They are just experiments by Dandy, who wanted to see if the two could live together if they were attached. They used to love each other, now they donāt. Razzle is no longer looking for comedy, Dazzle is no longer looking for hope. Both are only set on the idea of revenge against Dandy for making them this way.
Life is hard when you can only feel the sensations on one half on your body, they can barely walk and can only stand or sit. They take many painkillers as their wounds take a long time to health properly. They wish they could escape this place and just die already, but theyāre stuck and forced to live for as long as Dandy wants.
Razzle is a lot more violent now. He is prone to biting and scratching the staff. He hates doing all the lab tests and medical procedures, he hates being near Dazzle, he hates being stuck in this living hell. Razzle is the reason why theyāre not allowed near sharp or blunt objects.
Dazzle became paranoid, scared of any noise that happens. Heās terrified of Razzle because of how violent he can get, he hates him too. Dazzle cries a lot, he cries until he canāt everyday. Dazzle wishes he could just die already, he thinks everything is scary and out to get him.
Shrimpo is thought to be a patient that had anger issues and aggressive tendencies. According to Dandy, he was admitted for being violent in public, although this is only part of the fake story that Dandy gave him. Shrimpo was forced to get a lobotomy, unethical but who cares. Dandy sure didnāt.
Heās still in the recovery phase, so he might be a bit loopy. Once those bandages are off, heāll be as right as rain. Shrimpo is a wanderer around the hospital as heās no longer a threat. Heās allowed to leave his room and go out in the play yard but only if a nurse is with him.
Shrimpo doesnāt really have much going for him. His thoughts are scrambled and he only cares for things in front of him. Although the lobotomy made him more passive, it doesnāt mean heās any better in terms of motivation. Shrimpo certainly has no drive for anything anymore, he doesnāt mind but it gets in the way of his health as well. The staff needs to remind him to go to the dining room to eat or to go take a shower, because otherwise heāll forget.
Boxten was made to believe that he has had problems with insomnia ever since he was little, of course itās not true. He takes sleeping pills and melatonin, but it only seems to worsen his nightmares. This makes him skip his doses to avoid sleeping, repeating the cycle over and over.
Boxten is afraid of imaginary things that might get him. He thinks theyāve already in his head, eating away at his brain and giving him nightmares. Of course the only thing the nurses can see is his music box. Boxten has lost all trust in the staff since they couldnāt see or feel the things he can.
In my original notes, it said that Boxten might have psychosis.
Well thatās all the once Iāve drawn, I donāt really have the motivation to make every single toon. I have a couple of ideas though
ā Goob somehow survived a terrible accident, but both his arms needed to be amputated making him armless. He suffers from brain damage and internal bleeding. He doesnāt seem to have any change in his personality, still as joyful as ever. Maybe itās a coping mechanism
ā Tisha has severe OCD which damages her mental health. Sheās constantly worried about everything that happens around her, making her super aware of her surroundings. She could be a danger to herself and others as she sometimes has very aggressive thoughts but canāt control her actions. She unintentionally hurts herself because of her OCD, such as washing her hands so many times that they start to bleed.
Not for a toon, but I did have an idea for an added addition to the hospital. Maybe thereās a twisted reform center where the staff try and heal twisteds back to their normal self. They would clean the ichor from them but since the ichor is also inside of them their personalities donāt change as much. Twisteds such as Finn and R&D might be too far gone though, they would have to be disabled for life. I might draw this idea because I think itās kind of cool, I definitely will if people also think this is interesting.
#Dandyās World#Dandys World#Dandyās World Shelly#Dandyās World Sprout#Dandyās World Razzle and Dazzle#Dandyās World Shrimpo#Dandyās World Boxten#TW Asylum
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TW: NSFW, fem bodied reader, use of f*ck, smut, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, make up s*x, unhealthy dinamics (don't blame me Fyodor is a warning himself), possesive behaviour (if anyone treats you like that please run away) Fyodor might be ooc and whipped for the reader, teasing, both parts acting immature (communication is the key people), no use of y/n, breeding kink, After reading ep 117 please don't hate my pookiebear š
Word count: 6.6k (I don't know what came over me so enjoy)
Click here for part 1
ā§āļæ½ļæ½.š„ Ż Ė. Żā ā¹ . ŻĖ . ŻĀ·:*ĀØą¼ŗ ā±ā®ā± ą¼»ĀØ*:Ā·. Żā ā¹ . ŻĖ . Ż.š„ Ż Ėāāŗā§
Yeah, I want it all (from you)
Bye, bye, baby
Bye, bye, bye~
āā“
.š„ Ż Ė
Don't you know who you're dealing with?
Um, do you think you'll buy me lots of diamonds?
(Yes, of course I will my darling)
āāĖļ½”āāļ½”ļ¾āļøļ½”āļ½” ļ¾ā¾ ļ¾ļ½”ā
Blurring the lines between real and the fake
Dark and lonely, I need somebody to hold me
He will do very well
I can tell, I can tell
Keep me safe in his belltower hotel
He's loving my look
And I'm loving all his strategic ways
I said "do you think you'll kill for me one day?"
(Yes, of course I will, my darling)
:ļ½„ļ¾ā§:ļ½„.ā½Ėļ½”ļ½„ļ¾ā§:ļ½„.:āŗā§āĖ ą½ą½²āā±āą½ą¾ Ėāā§āŗ:ļ½„ļ¾ā§:ļ½„.ā½Ėļ½”ļ½„ļ¾ā§:ļ½„.:
Life was not easyāat least for you. Actually, the last few weeks have been a living hell. Well, the issue was your ex-husband. Fyodor. You tried everything you could to ignore him, but failed miserably. But why was he so stubborn and casual to the extent that it got on your nerves? Why, out of nowhere, was he talking to you about the weather and then suddenly asking you why you had eye bags? Or were you sleeping enough and well? Sometimes hiding your frustration was difficult. You nearly thought that he was doing all of it on purpose. That sneaky bastard. So, your day looked like this: go outside and accidentally run into your ex-husband, try to avoid him at all costs, hide, and fail miserably.
After that, go home and spend the entire day and night thinking about how to avoid seeing his face again. But he was appearing out of nowhere at the times when you least expected him. All of this was difficult because he was exceptionally smart and always a step ahead. And a little bit hot. He couldn't see your thoughts, right? If so, you would be in trouble. Because the last time he drove you into a corner, his body was so close to yours that you could hear nothing but your own heartbeat.
Also, the 'worst' part was how he touched you so softly, just like how you liked it. Like after your exhausting day at work, when the only thing you craved was nothing but his touch, and how you two only breathed in each other's presence while clinging to one another. But whatever it was, only remained in the past now. But the most absurd part was you getting nervous and not even making eye contact with him. Damn, why was it so hard? He shouldn't have any meaning to you or a place in your heart anymore. Look at him, already healed and living his life as if mocking you. So why did you feel so stuck and frustrated?
So you gave him indifferent answers like "Oh, I'm fine" or "Yeah, the weather is quite nice today. Isn't it, Mr. Dostoevsky?" Oh, so you knew how to push his buttons, didn't you? You naive doll. Reminding him of something that he didn't want to remember or even acknowledge was on his mind like a disease: the fact that you two were indeed divorced. That you weren't hisāat least on paper. Well, what else could he expect? By staying by his side like the cute, clever thing you are, you've eventually learned a few tricks too, but who knew that you would be using them against him? But then he smiled....Oh, that smile that you adored...But why it felt rather cold?
So there you were trying to build up a wall between yourself and him, and there he was angry and in fight with his heart. And now the formality? Yes, it was laughable indeed. Of course, it was reasonable that you would not act...as you did before the divorce. It was normal, right? So he took a step back from you, smiled again, and said goodbye as if you were an old friend of his and like he was going to see you again.
And there you were, standing dumbfounded and trying to process everything while he was walking away from you like it was a normal encounter. Well, who knew what was going through his mind? Maybe he was up to some mischief? You didn't bother to think about it since your heart was beating abnormally fast.
But for now, seeing him wasn't the main problem because you had a wedding to attendāyour friend's wedding. To be honest, you weren't the most excited person about this event. Maybe you've become numb to your feelings, or 'he' was just appearing from the darkest parts of your mind. Was it always like this? Even when he wasn't by your side, he was the only thing you could think about.
He didn't play some dirty tricks on you, did he? So, just to clear your mind, you put on your dress, apply your makeup, and get into the taxi in case it starts to rain on your way. It was a cloudy day. What lovely weather for a wedding, isn't it? The wedding was held in a luxurious place in the city. Affording a place that expensive must have been hard on them since they weren't that rich in the first place, which is none of your business, but going to places like that felt a little weird 'cause it only reminded you about those days you've wished to forget. After getting out of the taxi, gray clouds greeted you.
It was becoming clear that not bringing an umbrella with you was a bad idea. You began walking inside the building to take the elevator. A sigh left your lips. It felt like it was going to be a long night. It has been a long time since you went into a crowd like this. But it was refreshing to talk to old friends and have chats with people. It made you forget your worries and feel a little freer. The place was pleasant, just like how you liked it. You got some champagne and began slowly sipping. You promised yourself that you weren't going to drink more than one glass, so you were going to cherish this one glass of champagne well.
Your head hurt a little because of all the chatter and music. The lights weren't helping either. So you decided to get away from the crowd a little bit. Taking your only friendāa glass of champagneāwith you to the nearest window close to the terrace, you looked outside briefly. Well, it was raining cats and dogs outside. Another sigh left your lips. The sound of raindrops falling down the window and the accompanying sound of thunder were putting your mind at ease, even just a little bit. At least it was distracting you from your thoughts. So you take another sip and try to come up with things that were nice about this place.
The place was to your liking, your friend was happy, you got your drink with you, and many people were thereāmany, many people, actually. It was crowded. Maybe if you stayed long enough, you got to eat a slice of cake. Many people you didn't even know greeted you, gave you compliments and kissed your hand as a complimentāa gesture to show their interest in you. Yes.....it was a wonderful wedding indeed. Your battery was low, so eating cake might make you feel a little better.
So you decided to take a slice for yourself. But as you passed through all these people with your remaining energy, one of them caught your attention. His back was turned to you, but you could tell who he was in an instant. He was a little far away from you, in a distant corner of the place. At first, you decided your brain was playing games with you, or maybe you were drunk, but your glass was only half empty. So you instantly took a turn on your heels and hurried in the opposite direction. Why in all of those people he was here? He wore a black suit, but he didn't have his jacket on.
He was holding it on his arm while his hands were in his pockets and talking to some businessmen that you were sure had enough money to buy an island on a random day because the city was too noisy for their liking. Also, the important thing here was that 'he' didn't even know the groom and wasn't that close to your friend to be invited to her wedding. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your palms were sweaty. Your only choice was getting out of here without him noticing you. Luckily, the bride was close to you, so you could just say goodbye to her and make up a story to leave early.
You exchange greetings with the bride and groom and try to keep the conversation as short as possible. The groom asks you if you like the place or not. So absentmindedly, you say yes, and the words coming out of his mouth make you lose your composure completely.
"Man, Dostoevsky surely has good taste. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be able-"
The bride squeezes his arm and tells him to shut up. "W-what?" Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth after hearing his words.
But your friend just laughs nervously and tries to change the topic and starts to ask you questions about whether the cake is to your liking or not and other things that you can't comprehend at the moment. So you just murmur a short "goodbye" to both and start to walk away as if you didn't hear 'his' name coming out of the groom's mouth just a second ago. Your steps become faster as the seconds pass. With a still half-empty champagne glass you still hold in your hand that you forgot to put away, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of your high heels in the corridor that led to the elevator.
Seeing him at the wedding completely caught you off guard. What was he doing in a place like that? Also, when did he become that close to the groom to the extent that he helped him to afford a place this expensive? He wasn't the type to help someone he'd just met.
Oh......That sly man..... he knew you would come to this place so he could tease you until the end. Yes, that must be it, or you were just overreacting and he didn't care about you. Well, thinking about the latter made your heart swell. While thinking about these things, your fingertip met the buttons on the corridor for the elevator.
After pressing it, your fingers brushed against the skin on your neck and began to scratch it. It was an old habit of yours that you hated because it would give away the fact that you were anxious. Most of the time, you would make your skin bleed and hurt for weeks. To avoid this, you pressed the button again, as if pressing it repeatedly would make the elevator move faster. The sounds of the raindrops, the faint noises of the people, and the music could still be heard from the place that you were standing. That stupid glass of champagne was still in your hand.
The feeling to facepalm yourself was quite strong, but the sound of the elevator's door opening prevented that from happening. You entered quickly, pressed the button, and waited for the door to close inch by inch. The relief of being able to go home was spreading through your whole body. Butā when the sliding door of the elevator was just about to close completely, a hand stopped that from happening. You held your breath because last-minute interruptions never signaled anything good for youāit was what you believed at least. The sliding door of the elevator revealed the person you wanted to see the lastāit was none other than Fyodor.
He was there standing, one hand in his pocket, the other hand pushing the door of the elevator further to reveal your shocked figure. When your eyes met, your heart stopped, your breath hitched, and he was just standing, looking at you like he was devouring you, devouring your presence. None of you talked for a few seconds, and the only thing heard was a distant thunder in the background. Then he opened his mouth:
"Good evening, my dear. Running off when it is raining this much and with a drink in your hand is such a pleasant sight to see."
Yes, you could die from embarrassment right this moment. Not just you failed to run away but also looked stupid.
"Mr. Dostoevsky, good evening to you too. But I'm in a hurry, soā"
He raised one of his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly in amusement.
"Well, surely I can see that you are in a hurry. But dear, I don't quite understand the reason why."
Oh, how he liked to ask questions that he knew its answers to. He knew exactly why, but teasing you was much fun for him. Again, you weren't making eye contact with him and now playing with the hem of your dress to distract yourself from the fact that you were again, fell right into his plan. So you just turn your head to the side to avoid his question and give him the impression that he never asked you anything in the first place. Now his patience was running quite low. He spoiled you a lot didn't he? There is awkward silence that you can't stand, so you try to look at him from the corner of your eye without him noticing.
But when you do so, he is already staring at you with his deep purple eyes. His hand finds your chin in a quick but gentle touch and turns your head, so now your eyes are directly looking into his.
"My, my, you are not thinking of leaving when it is raining this much and it is also a shame that roads are closed too."
He steps into the elevator and casually presses a button inside. So now you are alone with him in the elevator and incredibly close to each other. Your plan failed with the doors of the elevator closing behind him.
"W-what are you doing?"
A chuckle leaves his lips as if you said something funny. His hand moves away from your chin as he steps aside; his warmth is now gone.
"Well, you are not planning to stay outside in this weather? Am I correct? There are rooms available for guests to stay the night. Aren't they very thoughtful? So I'm taking you to one, to rest for the night."
Oh, you weren't a step behind but several. But you were so sick, sick of all of this. His teasing and plans were too much for you to handle at this moment. Letting your emotions take the lead wasn't a wise decision; you were trying so hard not to. Elevator's door open and he steps outside and waits for you to come to his side, but you don't and stand on your heels. He was not going to let you get soaked and sick in this weather, or do something careless given your emotional state, so he takes your hand into his, even though he is only wrapping his hand around yours, and takes you to the so-called 'guest's room'. No words come through your mouth while your mind is screaming. You start to scratch your neck again. You want to hurt him, scream at him, and make him understand your feelings when he looks this comfortable. Your eyes start to fill with tears from frustration.
When he lets go of your hand and opens the door for you with a card that he's taken out of his pocket.
"My dearest, I wish you goodnight."
He takes that stupid champagne from you, and the things he makes leave you confused. He wraps his hand around your wrist that is scratching your skin and removes your gloves in a calm manner and puts them inside his pocket. Now, without your gloves that completed your outfit, you feel a little cold and a little bit vulnerable. He leans in slightly, taking your hand to his lips and kissing it before lifting his head and meeting your gaze. When your teary eyes meet his possessive ones, a chill runs down your spine. He squeezes your hand lightly.
Shit, even like that, he wants to ruin you. but fuck your eyes sparkling with tears just because of him makes him want to eat you whole so that nobody but only him could see you. That bastards who don't know their places putting their hands on yours so carelessly boils him with rage. They all should know that you only belong to him. So he continues to plant kisses on your hand, and now to your wrist. He sucks into your skin and licks it after to ease its pain so deliciously that it leaves you confused.
You don't understand why he is doing all of this. His soulless eyes, filled with darkness, only stare into yours as you free your hand from his. He turns and walks away, leaving you on the edge of the door. He is going to throw away those gloves that those filthy sinners' lips touched. He is beyond annoyed; no, he is going to burn those gloves first, then those foolish men later. Perhaps after that he will be satisfied. Your heart and mind were racing and your lips open to say the words that was going to make Fyodor stop in his tracks.
"Fyodor, I hope that my absence eats you whole."
He stops from thinking what to do to these men to comprehend your words. You wanted to hurt him, hurt his pride, and show him his own vulnerability. Well, actually, you did that. He wasn't planning to turn in his tracks according to his plan. But fuck, somehow when you were involved in his plans, they always seemed to crumble. A sound to show his dissatisfaction left his lips. He was just going to plant the seeds in your head to get you to come back. Then his plan would proceed. You're really something else.
He drank the remaining champagne in his hand in one sip, and his eyes staring to one point left to meet your back that was now turned to him. You were going inside the room in slow motion. His quick steps towards you and your quiet sobs were the only thing that could be heard beside the rain outside. With force now you were now inside the room and the door was closed shut behind you, but the shocking part was a sound of thud next to the console table and couple arms embracing you. His hand was encircling your waist and pressing your body into his further, not letting you go from his grasp.
His one hand now going upwards while caressing where he could reach, he held your chin and lifted it to meet your face now that was wet with tears. Why he always had to look like a madman when you were around?
"You have no idea what you do to me, don't you?"
His tone was cold, so was his eyes. Now you looking up to him with your doe eyes and the hitching of your breath with your sobs was a sight to see. There was no way he could let another man see you like this. How could he? He would break any hand that could reach to you and make them drown in their own blood.
"My love..."
He tucked your hair behind your ear, exposing your neck to him. He lowered his head to your neck, breathed in your scent gently and pressed a kiss to your pulse.
"My heart..."
You could hear your heartbeat. He moved slowly towards your ear.
"Don't worry your pretty head over everything. I will get all of it figured out for you."
Like he wasn't the main cause of all of this. Was he asking for forgiveness now? A loud sob escaped your lips.
" 'm tired" of you
His hair touching the side of your face and his voice near your ear made you feel weak in your legs.
"I know"
He let go of your chin and held your wrist, guiding your arm as you turned your face to him. Now that your face was turned to him, he could take a look at you properly. He missed your warmth, your gentle demeanor, and you. His hand moved from your wrist to your hand, guiding it to his lips before kissing the palm of your hand. His other hand found your waist and pressed your lower body against his again. Your free hand gripped the front of his suit. Your sobs are now louder. He was waiting, waiting for a hint for your forgiveness and acceptance. He wasn't going to force himself onto you; he wasn't a sinful man like that.
"If you allow me, my love, I will make it all work between us."
You were shocked and speechless. Was he really asking you to accept him back into your life? It was still raining outside; the room was nothing but ordinaryāa king-sized bed with breathtaking scenery outside.
"Don't you see, sweetheart? All of it was just for you today. Put your trust in me once more, as you always do, and don't think anything else."
You knew better than anyone else that whenever he talked and promised something to you he would always kept them because well, you are his little sweetheart. Aren't you?
"You are still in my heart and always on my mind. You are no good for me. I know that too, but why I can't just let all of it goā"
With a swift motion, Fyodor leads you inside and toward the wall by releasing his grip on your wrist and putting his other hand behind your back to quickly wrap around your waist. He pressed your back completely to the wall while pressing his whole body into yours. And he kissed you feverishly, rough with a sense of claiming. Your head was spinning. He kissed, sucked, and bit your lower lip. It felt so good that you were falling apart under his touch. So you held him like your life depended on him, you held his neck, deepened the kiss, and leaned to him more with desperation.
You were running out of breath but couldn't stop kissing him. You returned his kiss with the same desire. You could feel heat building up in your stomach. A moan vibrated through your throat. His palm found the back of your thigh, grasped it, and lifted it to press further into you as he slowly rubbed his groin into yours. A groan escaped his lips. His hand rose higher and higher until it reached the hem of your dress and up to the curve of your ass and caressed, squeezed it with force. When you two pull away from each other, there was a string of saliva connecting you two. His body felt warm against yours.
He was going to make up to you in every way possible. He was going to worship your body tonight, just as he did every day when he got down on his knees to pray to God. You looked stunning like that, his angel, your hair a little tangled, your eyes hazy and filled with desire. Your lips briefly connected again, and he encouraged you to part them so that his tongue could enter and explore your mouth. Not feeling his skin under your touch was unbearable, so you started to loosen his tie and pull him more while your other hand tried to unbutton his vest and shirt. He smirked against your lips before parting for a second.
"Eager, are we?"
You blushed and glanced away from him just to meet his eyes a second later while slightly nodding.
"Mmph"
Fyodor cursed quietly in his native language. You were just so his and obedient it made his dick twitch in his pants. He pecked your lips again and began sucking on the skin of your neck, opening the zip in the back of your dress and causing it to fall to the floor. You wrapped your hand around his neck and massaged his head while breathing deeply. Quiet moans escaped your lips and it only made the bulge in his pants bigger.
His lips on your neck leaving marks, an evident sign that you were his, and licking just to bite after to make you whimper was delightful to his ears. Fyodor began to lead you to bed, holding you impossibly close to his body. The back of your leg hit the edge of the bed, and he laid you gently on it, his eyes dark with a glint of lust, he was nearly fully clothed, he looked at you with pure hunger while you were only in your underwear and bra.
"Myshka, you only wore that dress just to drive me mad with temptation, didn't you? Oh darling, even when you are not aware of it, your mind desires to please me."
That dress was his anniversary present to you; you never got to wear it, though, due to circumstances you don't want to remember right now. Maybe you picked that dress unknowingly or maybe on purpose. Who knows? He began unbuttoning the remaining buttons while looking down at you. Your panties were getting wetter by the second under his gaze.
"So now tell me."
He slowly took off his vent and tossed it aside while maintaining eye contact.
"Did any man lay their hands on you while you weren't by my side?"
He was teasing you; you knew it, and he knew it well too. You couldn't just let any man touch you, no.
"Took of your bra."
So your hands moved to your back to remove your bra. He was staring at you intensely, his hands on the sides of your thighs, stroking them gently. When you took it off, he let out a pleasant hum. When your hands reached the ends of your panties, he stopped you with his voice.
"Keep them on, darling."
Fyodor began to unbutton his shirt and tossed it aside. His pale, lean, yet muscular skin was visible. The bulge in his pants is evident to your eyes. He leaned in while putting his body between your legs, parting them further.
"My eyes are up here pretty."
He loved teasing you and making you a blushing mess.
"Now tell me, did they touch you here?"
He kissed your clavicle tenderly and bit just to get a reaction out of you. A gasp escaped you.
"N-no" He licked it and continued to leave kisses alongside your breast, just to stop and look into your needy eyes once again. He leaned in and bit your earlobe before whispering into your ear.
"How about here?"
His hand cupped your breast and gave it a light squeeze. A sigh escaped you.
"N-never"
A hum vibrated through your ear.
"Yeah, just like that, keep being my good girl."
He leaned to take your nipple inside his mouth and giving it a light suck, his hot tongue was sucking the bud while playing with your other nipple, rolling it between his fingers to not neglect it.
He left marks there too. Your moans grew louder; your hand grabbed and tugged his dark hair, earning a growl from him. He continued kissing your skin down to your belly, your back arching into his touch. Your underwear was damp with your wetness, and your pussy was aching with the desire to be filled. Fyodor kept you steady with his hands to stop you from closing your legs against his body.
"Myshka, behave" It was impossible since it had been so long since you felt this way.
"'M sorry."
He lowered himself to lick a long strand of your clothed heatness. Your breathing quickened, and your hand closed your mouth to muffle your moans.
Fyodor looked up to you and sucked the fabric and started to push his tongue against your clit earning more whines from you. God, you were beautiful and all his to ruin. He could feel your hole twitching and your panty getting soaked with your juices.
His hand found the hem of your panties and waited for you to look at him.
"Then what about here, darling?"
You were desperate and craving for him; your answer didn't disappoint him.
"N-no Fyodor, never!"
His name spilling out of your mouth so deliciously made his member twitch in anticipation. So before he took it off, he prevented you from closing your mouth by taking one of your hands into his.
Then he took it off in one smooth movement, your juices glistening, your hole twitching with want, he hummed and buried himself between your legs, licking and kissing your pussy with fever. His nose bumping against your clit made you moan loudly. His face between your heat, his tongue working skillfully to tease your nerve endings, his lips kissing and slurping your arousal with sinful noises were starting to get you to the edge. Your free hand gripped his hair to make him go faster.
"A-ahh"
His other hand, keeping you down, opened your thighs even more. Your sounds only made his pants tighter. Fyodor started to move faster; your taste only made him hungrier; his hand on your thigh now started to caress your walls to find the spot that made you see stars. He began stretching you by adding a second finger, while his tongue lapped at your wet folds. He stretched you with his fingers, and he couldn't help but let a moan escape. All sensations were becoming overwhelming, and Fyodor felt your walls clench around his fingers.
"M-mh n-nnagh F-Fyo I-I'm-"
He knew you were close, so he found the spot that made you weak, bent, and rubbed his fingers to stimulate it continuously. You pulled his hair harder and desperately tried to move your hips against his face with need. You heard him groan; he added another finger, and you were beyond gone, cumming andcrushing down while moaning loudly. Your body squirmed as he helped you ride out your orgasm. You felt dizzy and gasped for air as your juices dripped down his chin. The sight was filthy and hot at the same time. He gathered your juices in his fingers, sucked on them with lust, and looked deeply into your eyes. The sight caused you to moan again.
"You taste divine, my dear."
Then he started kissing you with the same lust, tasting yourself on his tongue made you squirm again. Your hands caressed his back and you kissed him back. He lowered his groin and pressed it into your wet pussy, making you whimper into his mouth while grinding his rock hard member against you. He placed his hands on your hips to make you grind against him harder, earning a muffled moan from you. The heat pooling in your stomach once again, making the front of his pants wet with your juices, you hear him moan into your lips. Fyodor moves away from you, his belt clinking. He looks at you like he's about to devour you whole.
So you accept him once again. He takes his pants off alongside his boxers, revealing his cock, his tip dripping with precum. First, he makes you comfortable on the bed and puts your legs to his sides, revealing your pussy to him more, his behavior turning you on more and more. Your sight sends shivers down his spine, and he has to restrain himself from taking you right here and there. Your sweaty form, lustful eyes, and eagerness are only fueling the fire. He pulls you closer to him, making your legs wrap around his waist. He strokes himself a few times before looking back at you. Your walls are clenching around nothing and feeling empty.
He uses his tip to gather around your fluids to lubricate his dick then slowly circling your entrance with it while pulling cute noises from you.
"F-fyodor, please don't tease me anymore."
He chuckles coldly.
"What happened to Oh, Mr. Dostoevsky, hmm?"
He slowly pushes himself. A gasp leaves you, your walls sucking him in for more, leaving Fyodor nearly breathless, he growls.
"Mmph- Aah-ahāthatāyou know why."
He's halfway through, and your warmth is already intoxicating.
"Well do I?"
He was not foolish or sinful like those around him. He had a greater purpose. But now he was kneeling and worshipping your body. Maybe loving someone only led to sin in the best ways possible. You couldn't let him go; you know it is toxic. But damnit, he lets it happen. He spoiled you too much, didn't he? Now he can't predict anythingāany emotions, to be precise. These are his feelings, but he is unable to understand or rationalize them. It irritates him if he can't control it or twist it to his liking. Oh, God, help his pure soul. He pushes himself all the way in one go, taking you by surprise with a whimper. Leaning down into you, he pushes you down into missionary, his elbows on the sides of your head, slowly pulling his cock in and out of you as your moans got louder.
He is in no better shape, but he was trying not to show it while gasping for air. Your gummy walls squeezing him tight and already milking him, your whines close to his ear making it hard for him to keep his composure. He starts moving faster, hitting your G spot along the way. Your hands on his back, scratching his pale skin, and your legs pulling him closer only feeding his possession more. He gazes into your eyes, thrusting faster and rougher. Your eyes were cloudy just like the weather and now they were tearing up, but this time with pleasure. You look back at him, your resentful eyes only turning him on more.
Oh, how he loves those eyes of yours. Picking up the pace, he leans in and puts more weight on you. While panting for more air, he thrusts one more time and places his lips near your chin and whispers:
"Myshka isn't my side of the bed cold? Don't you want me to come back to you?"
Your legs tightening and trembling around him, you couldn't see his face but only could hear the squelching sounds from where you two were connected and your moans with the sound of rain. A white ring was forming in the base of his cock while you were meeting his thrust feverently. As he sinks deeper into you, you could feel your climax approaching. Your mind clouded with pleasure, you answer him.
"Fuck Fedya, yes!"
Yes, yes, yes, call him like that again and fuck yes, he will destroy the world if you want. Yes, he will buy you a house fuck even with the one with a lake. Then again, he will fuck you as much as you want him to. Who exactly is he fooling? He is yours eternally, just as you are his for a lifetime. God must have been playing games with his mind. Oh, your eyes and how they look under the moonlight. Oh, how he likes it even more when they get all shimmery with tears all because of him. Since he is the only one who can bring heaven to you with such pleasure. All his, all fucking his.
That nickname, his name, coming out of your mouth only makes his dick harder and balls tighter. Chasing his own high with you, he speeds up and places his thumb on your clit, playing with it to push you over the edge. Thick tears making their way down to your face to his hair. He raises his head and with his thick Russian accent, he curses between his teeth once again.
"I gave you what you have wanted, didn't I, darling? So why are you crying right now? How petty."
Such simple and heartbreaking words coming out of his mouth as if he isn't the one who is actually acting petty. How laughable isn't it? But he can't let you see him this vulnerable. The knot in your lower belly threatening to snap anytime makes you desperate for your own release.
"You gotta use your words, pretty."
"I-I'm- aghhh- I'm coming."
Your toes curling, juices drenching the sheets, holding him close with your legs, your climax washes over your body once again. Your gummy walls clamping down on his shaft and welcoming him once more. He groans and pushes you into the mating press and chases his own high. He captures your lips once again and gives you a deep but sloppy kiss while pushing your legs more apart. If he fucks a baby into you, you wouldn't try to run away, right? Since you would carry the obvious sign that you belonged to him. So those trashy guys won't dare to lay their filthy hands on you ever again.
If they do, he will erase them from existence. He moans to your lips, the thought of you carrying his child, with full of his seed, pushing him over the edge as he thrusts again, spilling thick robs of cum inside you, his eyes rolling back. He pushes his dick deeper into you, ensuring that nothing goes to waste. You whimper and kiss him back as tears fall once more, this time from overstimulation. When he recovers from his high, he pulls his dick out and rolls to the side.
Gently pulling you into a hug to his chest, facing him, you hug him back and kiss his Adam's apple softly. You felt tired and sleepy; for a few minutes, you two just stayed like that.
"So Mrs. Dostoevsky want me to draw a warm bath for you?"
You were flushed and slowly drifting off to sleep. The only thing you could mutter was a quiet "mmhm" and a slight tilt of your head.
Rain was still hitting the windows, as if it was trying to sing you a lullaby. The last thing you heard before falling asleep was a faint chuckle, followed by a couple of arms wrapping around your body, enveloping you in a familiar warmth.
Well, you were gonna come back to him one way or another. He knew that; he was sure of it, of course, since he is smart, right? When you come back to him and accept his vulnerability, once again he will let it happen because you are his. He can't predict what will happen in the future with you because God must have created such a bond that even after everything, you are still drawn to him, and he will always accept his pure girl to his hell and cherish ruin his angel. He can't create heaven nor go to one, but he will do everything to bring one to you.
But now Fyodor wasn't sleeping, but rather watching how your little body was wrapped around hisāall vulnerable and untaintedāto his liking, of course. He squeezed your body slightly in a possessive manner, pressing his body deeper into yours. He will make all the ways back to him for you. He was going to make it happen. So you could return to him. Because you're his innocent wife. How foolish of you to believe that a simple piece of paper could end your relationship with him. He was certain that God created you specifically for him to hold, caress, and breed. Everything happened only so you could return to where you belong, as God intended.
A few disagreements aren't the problem when you are in his arms like this, being all beautiful and innocent. How pure and filthy, how separating and unifying. Even God had his favorites, so it is normal that you also have a little privilege for yourself. How magnificent, right?
Because you are still his, and always will be. He will make sure of it.
Taglist: @sssarrrra @fyology @literatureloverx
So just for you guys to know Iāve never touched a man in my life. I didn't even feel anything romantic towards someone but here I am writing fanfiction about a death author dude who is probably +500 years old in an anime and I'm calling him bbg and the love of my life. Huh š®āšØ life is really full of surprises. It was my first time writing smut so please be nice I tried my best okay? š„ŗš Also English is not my first language so if there are any grammatical mistakes forgive this pookie (meš„ŗ). Hope you like it tho. Comments, reblogs are greatly appreciated š
#fyodor bsd#bsd fyodor#bsd smut#bsd fyodor x reader#fyodor x reader#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader#fyodor x you#bsd x reader#hurt/comfort#bsd x you#fyodor dostoevsky x reader#fyodor smut#fyodor dostoyevsky smut#fyodor bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fyodor#bungou stray dogs smut#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x you
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Some astro observations pt:4š§”
It's been a year I have done an observations post ā ļø I hope you guys enjoy this one š
In case you want a reading :
Paid readings, paid readings 2 , masterlist
š Combust or retrograde Venus can be cured through worship of Devi , respecting women and general and treating yourself well . Whereas combust mercury can be cured through practicing mathematics. Combust Saturn through practicing more routines.
š Rahu synastry makes you delusional true but ketu synastry is even more delusional you will feel a sense of familiarity with the person you have the synastry with but soon you will realise oh it was all play and eventually the ketu person will actually start hating the moon person .
š I think purva bhadrapada is he sign of sati as when sati was born on earth to be wife of Shiva only the expansiveness of purva bhadrapada could make her realise her true potential as mahadevi herself how she's nature and everything that truly exists in the cosmos . Likewise purva bhadrapada expands their horizons to realise their true purpose . I found some purva bhadrapada prominence in her media depiction of sati as well .
š Purva bhadrapada are also truly sweet and kind people who have so much intelligence but it stays hidden for the early part of their life .
š Purva Ashadha as a young girl or a maiden is often envied by her peers for being pretty , use protective things as a means to protect from evil eye , PA is associated with liver and evil eye can cause bumps in the face or skin disease .
š Shravana girls have the quite confidence, they're genuinely bubbly but it's hidden in the quite girl interior, they know who they are and are constantly working on themselves.
š With pisces placements in a man's chart one can have a good balance between the masculine and the feminine energy, I have generally seen pisces creating a nice atmosphere for their wives or the girls they love . They enjoy cooking and also get a lot of girl friends around them who trust them .
š Gemini guys in general are the most confused people though girls can be assertive or be quickly change the men are just diplomatic about everything.
š Vishakha women have the tridosha of kapha , which makes them effective in transforming their body fast .
š I've seen that you might attract the sign of your 7th house but mostly it doesn't work out š rather the sign in your 12th house works better , the chemistry is unbeatable and they treat you so well . Even in my case Taurus is my 12th house š Taurus men be spoiling me š
š Sun moon synastry is so passive agressive
š Your atmakaraka can provide you insights on which Devi you should worship , for example if mars go for some ugra Devi like Kali , Durga etc . They can prove to be your ishtha or kuldevi please note that to find one's ishtha /kuldevi more things are to be considered.
š Sun in the 10th house gives one fame but makes one work hard asf , when you're at the verge of giving up that's when true fame comes in to save you being the house of Saturn .
š Jupiter in 3rd makes one materialistic they were the kids that were obsessed with new toys and gadgets as it generally makes one fidgety, also they were fulfilled in their wants for toys .
š Combust mars in a girls chart overworks themselves because they feel a lack of vitality, they don't know where to exactly put efforts or what to do to make themselves feel better. Combust mars in a man's chart has the delusion of being masculine when in turn they do nothing to nourish their essence , true help in this case can be attained through puja in Tuesdays of Mangal Dev or Hanuman .
š Ketu and mars can give hidden anger issues and can cause anger outbursts like Taurus mars . One way to combat that is to donate blood .
š Saturn in 1H should do atleast one thing they don't like to do but is Essential for them everyday as this position might show feeling inferior or uninterested in themselves the act of doing something for themselves makes them more confident.
š Mercury in combust , 6th house gives skin problems .
š Rohini isn't materialistic for money but for comfort .
Thank you so much for reading, have a great day/night š§”
#vedic astrology#sidereal astrology#astrology#astro community#astrology notes#astro notes#astro observations#astrology community#astrology observations#astrology placements
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Jason had been sitting in his living room, maintenancing his weapons when a circle appeared before him. It was big and swirling. It's hue very much akin to the sickening green of the Lazarus pits. He quickly realized the circle was in fact a portal as a teen stepped out of it. The teen wore surgical gloves and a mask over what appeared to be a hazmat suit. His hair was silver and seemed unaffected by gravity. Worse of all though, were his eyes that were that same damn color that Jason had long since grown to hate.
Jason grabbed two guns that were not currently taken apart and aimed them at the boy, taking a menacing step forward as he did so. "Who are you?" he growled. "What do you want?"
To his surprise, the boy didn't threaten him or gloat about some massive plan already under way. He didn't even offer some sort of vague, cryptic advice. Instead, the teen actually took a step back, covering his nose with one arm while putting the other up in surrender.
"Don't come any close!" he yelped. "The stench is already bad enough from here."
Jason blinked. What? "Excuse me?" was all he could utter.
The boy turned away slightly and dry heaved. "Ugh, so nasty."
Jason was having trouble figuring out what was going on. Even with his detective training. "Did you- did you just call me nasty?" he finally managed to splutter out.
The boy turned back to him, his eyes crinkling in utter disgust. "Uh, yeah. What else would you call a flea infested rat?"
"Flea infested-" Jason squawked.
"Listen could you just come with me so that we can get all of that taken care of asap," the boy said, gesturing towards Jason.
Regaining his composure a little, Jason tightened his grip on his weapons. "Hell no! I'm not going anywhere with you until you start explaining."
Despite having two guns pointed at his head, the teen only let out a deep sigh.
"Fine, have it your way." He replied, stepping towards Jason. The vigilante heard the kid mumbling, "You can do this. Think of it as handling a stinky baby. A very disease infested stinky baby," as he got closer and closer.
Jason fired off a warning shot next to the kid but the boy didn't even flinch. Fine, Jason thought. We can do this the hard way. He aimed at the boy's knee cap and fired. Only for the bullet to pass right through him. The boy neared him before picking him up like an unruly kitten. Jason went limp as he officially stopped processing what was happening. How the hell had this kid managed to lift him so effortlessly?
He didn't put up a fight as the boy turned around and led them both back through the portal, his arms outstretched as far away from his torso as possible. Jason's mind had just barely started to process information again when this weird furry, horned creature appeared in front of him.
"Ah Great One! You've returned," it said.
"Yeah yeah just hurry up and take this from me before I throw up!" the teen replied, setting Jason down and distancing himself.
The creature fixed the boy with a stern look. "That is not how we treat patients, Great One. Need I remind you? It was you who wanted to be my apprentice and all that entails. That includes treating our patients with the utmost professionalism. Regardless of your personal feelings."
The teen actually had the nerve to look sheepish, maybe even a little guilty. As if he hadn't just spent the last 5 minutes mercilessly insulting Jason.
The two continued talking for a time and Jason was more than happy to let them. It gave him time to process what the hell he was looking at and with any luck, they would let slip some crucial information. Instead however, they ended up discussing more about whatever this apprenticeship was before the weird looking creature turned back towards Jason.
"Apologies for the rudeness my apprentice has shown you," he said.
Jason muttered out an 'uh huh' in response.
The creature clapped his hands. "Now then, shall we get you examined?"
Examined? Jason staring blankly at the creature. Then he stared at the teen, hoping to gleam any info from their facial expressions. Nothing. And of course he did have his comms or his sos signal on him. Great, just great. What an absolutely craptastic situation he found himself in. He'd be sure to come back and haunt Bruce this time. Maybe even Dick. He swore that much.
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Worthy
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary - After a hard day, all you need is your mate to tell you that everything is going to be okay.
Warnings - angst, self hatred, self doubt, blood, brief details of childbirth, death, fluff
For my lovely @thisiskaylin - hope this makes you feel better x
Blood.
There was blood everywhere. All over your hands, spatters on your face and neck, it clung to you like a disease.
It was meant to be worth it.
One more push, you would tell them. One more push and you get to see your beautiful baby. Just one more and it'll all be over and you can go home and raise your perfect little baby.
Just one more push.
The child wriggled in your arms, you had bundled the winged babe up in grey blanket, protecting him from the scene in front of him. A non-Illyrian woman lay before you unmoving, tears rolling down her face, fingers outstretched toward you with a vacant look in her eye. And there was blood everywhere.
Amalia had been one of your favourite patients in your career, full of life and wonder, kind and sweet and soft, she was made to be a mother. Every visit had been so positive, you had no reason to believe that she wouldn't make it. Amalia was strong and healthy, she should have made it. You had promised her it would all be alright.
But blood at pooled at her thighs, staining her cream coloured birthing gown, she had gone pale and sweaty and her lips had turned blue. The rapid rise and fall of her chest confirmed it, that she wasn't going to make it, and there was nothing your healing hands could do to stop it.
"Please. Let me see him," she had rasped to you and you sat beside her, lowering her babe to her face and letting her shaky fingers tug down at the neck of the bundle to see his face. "So beautiful."
Tears pricked your eyes, "You did so well, Amalia."
Amalia peered up at you, her icy blue eyes softening at your face, she had always called you an angel, "I did?"
Choking back tears, you ran your fingers through her lifeless blonde waves, a comforting gesture, to let her know she wasn't alone, "So well," you confirmed, "You have to name him."
"A name," her voice was fleeting, drifting away into the wind, carried by the coaxing breeze floating through the slightly ajar window, "Amias. Eternal love."
"Amias," you turned you gaze to the bubbling boy in your arms and smiled, brushing your fingers against his full cheeks, "It's perfect, Amalia. It's-" but you couldn't finish your sentence, not when you turned back to her and saw nothing, no rise and fall of her chest, just vacant tearful eyes and pale sweaty skin.
It was always a danger you had faced, losing a mother to the complications that came with bearing an Illyrian child, a thing you knew all too well from birthing Nyx. It was your specialised field of mastery, the birthing of Illyrian babes, you had saved many that would not have stood a chance without you. You were a miracle to them, even the males at Windhaven had come to treat you with kindness, it wasn't often that they were thought of, and you made them feel cared for.
The room was solemn. The team of midwives that accompanied you to all of the births you attended worked slowly and respectfully, draping the thin cloth of her bed sheet over her face after washing her skin softly with lavender soaped sponges all whilst you rocked and cooed the innocent motherless child into slumber. Handing the small thing over to one of your midwives, you sniffled, you went to wipe your face with your sleeve but froze when you saw the blood trailing up your arms and let out a small sob in response.
There was only one thing, one person, that would be able to fix you.
Windhaven was a place that Azriel hated you going to.
There was no doubt in his mind that you were the most extraordinary thing on the planet, but sometimes he wished that you had chosen a different specialty in your healing career. One that didn't make you feel so small, one that made you happy.
He knew something had gone wrong when he had sent a questioning love down the bond for it only to collide with a rock solid wall of iron clad fury. The bond only went silent when something was wrong. Every patient of yours was a friend, it was hard for people not to adore you, so it hurt you more when they left the world.
Footsteps scuffed up the pavement outside of your shared home and Azriel heard you sigh deeply before the handle turned and you stepped in.
The room was as it always was. Books, some medical and some historical, splayed across the coffee table, a fire dancing at the forefront of the room cascading the space in a golden glow, and two mugs of tea, one of which had long since had gone cold, on the side tables by your assigned spaces on the deep cobalt love seat.
Azriel scanned you for but a second before throwing his body over the edge of the seat and rushing to you. There was blood coating you, from your skirt up to your hair, your eyes were shocked and vacant, your lips were chapped and your cheeks were red and puffy. You had been crying.
Being no stranger to blood, Azriel took your hands in his and lifted them to his chest so that you could feel his heartbeat, so that you could centre yourself and bring your consciousness back to the land of the living. Then your gaze turned to him and your chest dropped, and Azriel knew what had happened, "Amalia?"
Shaking your head, you choked, "She didn't make it," tears pooled in your eyes and your face crumpled, "I promised her that she'd make it. There was no reason why she shouldn't have. I've been doing so well with the prenatal visits and the vitamins and the tonics, and she just," a sob broke through, "She just died."
Azriel ran his hands down the side of your face and continued to listen to your words, "What kind of healer am I if I can't save a woman, my friend, from the risks of childbirth? The risks I have dedicated my career to avoid? I've left a child without a mother, Az," you peered up at him, tears streaking down your face, collecting blood on their descent, "I'm a monster."
Unknowingly, you opened your side of the bond, and Azriel was flooded with your grief and anguish, your self loathing and doubt, and your all-consuming worthlessness, "Look at me, y/n. Look at me," he pulled your focus and smiled softly at you.
Azriel adored everything about you, but more than anything, he adored your kind soul and caring heart. You were the most magnificent thing he had ever come across.
The bond had snapped for him when he had been badly injured and Rhys had stormed into your little apartment above the pharmacy with Azriel strung over his shoulder. Despite your messy hair and askew nightgown, you worked endlessly to bring Azriel back from the brink, he truly believed he had entered heaven that day and that you were the one to guide him to the light.
He didn't realise that heaven could exist on earth until he met you.
It had taken months for you to release the bond between you, you were a busy thing, always researching and working on ways to save people from some of the most unavoidable events of life. One being childbirth. But during one certain sunset, when the sun was low and the sky was painted in pink and gold, did you feel that golden thread snap into place. Since then, you had been inseparable. He was your rock, the only one who could smash your soul into pieces and the only one who could put you back together, and you were his sunshine and rain, the only one who could cause him any real pain, but the only one who could clear his darkness and bring him into the light.
"None of the women you have saved would have stood a chance without you," blood covered your face like dirt, dusting but prominent, and your eyes were brimming with exhaustion, "I know it's hard, and that you feel worthless and like you're failing. But none of the women in this court could have survived without you, you are an angel, you have saved so many mothers and children that our study is bursting with gifts and flowers," you strained a smile, "I know that Amalia was your friend, I'm so sorry that you lost her, I know how much you wanted her to live."
"As much as we want to, we can't save everyone, y/n. All we can do is seek to save the next, to give another person a chance of a full beautiful life just like ours."
The obsession of non-Illyrian mothers had grown since you had accepted the bond with Azriel, you had never directly voiced why, but he knew you were trying to find a way for yourself to survive if the time ever came when you would carry his child. It was heart breaking to see it, to see you lose a patient and feel your own soul hang in the balance. It was heart breaking to know that you saw yourself as Amalia, broken and bloody and alone.
It had always been something you had wanted with him, a child of your own, with little black wings and shadows curling around him just like Az's. But you also wanted to live to see him grow. You weren't an Illyrian, which meant that you too were at risk of facing the same fate as Amalia's.
The fear in your eyes broke him.
"You are so worthy, so talented and determined that you put all of us to shame. You are the light of the Night Court, I'm just lucky that I get to bask in it daily. No wonder everyone is jealous that I get to call you my mate," a soft grin formed on his lips at your whispering giggle and he took your face in his hands, allowing his shadows to curl around your forearms and sooth the raging sadness within you, "I love you, y/n. I'm in awe of you every day. It's not easy to do what you do, to fall in love with the idea of saving people and breaking when the Mother decides to take one away. But it doesn't make you any less worthy or loved. You were put on this earth for a reason, to save people, and you will continue to do that because you are y/n, and you are my mate, and you wouldn't be you if you didn't. You save me everyday and you don't even know it."
The room had grown lighter, and the all-consuming anguish that had flowed down the bond had shifted, "Thank you," your eyes flickered across his face and your shoulders dropped.
Azriel tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and sighed, taking you in his arms and holding you tightly against his chest, "Let's get you in a bath, hm?" he pulled away and looked down on you, tilting his head and drinking in your radiant beauty despite the sadness and stains on your skin, "Then I'm going to brush your hair and hold you and kiss you until you fall asleep, and then tomorrow, you save another life."
Nodding, you exhaled shakily, pulling him back to you as he went to lead you to the bathroom upstairs, no doubt to the already full tub that was big enough for both of you, he gazed at you in question, with a furrowed brow and fingers interlinked with your own, "I love you, you know that, don't you?"
The desperation in his voice made him want to scoop you up in his arms and show you exactly how much he adored you, but you were hurting, and you needed him in a wholly different way, "I know. I love you too. So much. Let's go and soak okay? I'll tell you who Nyx said was his favourite..."
Light beamed in your eyes and you wilfully allowed your body to be pulled by Azriel's grip, "If it's Cassian, I will riot."
The rest of the evening was spent in his arms, his fingers massaging your scalp and shoulders, wrapping around you and his lips pressing into the curve of your shoulder. Azriel brushed your hair, his touch so gentle and his shadows peppering their love for you across your face. And as you drifted into slumber, the symphony of your dreams were set by Azriel's voice, a low and sultry sound, reading to you, his fingers running through your hair and lips pressing into your hair line.
Not once did he take his hands off of you. Not once did he stop muttering how loved you were. And you knew that as long as he was by your side, you were invincible.
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar imagine#maasverse#fanfiction#imagine#azriel x reader#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#acotar azriel#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#azriel angst#azriel fluff#acotar oneshot#acotar drabble#acotar fic#acotar fluff
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Can I request something similar to your latest Lewis smau except y/n is Toto's daughter? It's controversial because she's younger, you know the drill
Sure!! <3 For this one I made Y/n a singer
Btw the song in this fic is made up lol
username1 She's PRECIOUS
username2 Y/n is so me
username3 Honestly that's so reletable
username4 I swear this girl will pet any creature she can, how isn't she scared of catching some disease?
ā³username1 Have you ever heard of water? Is the concept of washing your hands familiar to you?
username5 Oh to be a cat pet by Y/n Wolff...
username6 A rich girl petting strays... Imagine how much of a better place the world would be if she put the same energy into some charity work
ā³username7 Y/n is known for doing charity work when it comes to animals. Pretty sure some % of her earnings goes to several pet charities, organizations. Not to mention she's been vegan for a few years now
ā³username8 Wow immagine if you did your research before commenting
ā³username9 i love how Y/n was born into the rich life but has always been humble and used her money to help others
username10 Literally she gets a lot of hate for being a daughter of a billionaire like okay next time she'll choose to be born poor lmao
username11 exactly!! there's a difference between flexing on daddy's money and using your daddy's money for good causes
username9 pretty sure she makes her own money now;)
y/n_wolff Busy day at work š look who I bumped into on the way to the studio!!
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georgerussell63 Look at you finally doing some work
ā³y/n_wolff Don't worry, soon I'm back at my 2nd job (I just hang around the paddock looking all pretty and stuff)
georgerussell63 No, thank you ā¤ļø we don't miss you
lewishamilton Speak for yourself George, Roscoe likes when Y/n babysits him
y/n_wolff Roscoe is the only one who understands me for real š
roscoelovescoco Petition for an invitation next time you go to the studio
ā³y/n_wolff I swear I sent one, it must've got lost on the way š„¹ the pigeon dropped it or something
roscoelovescoco Still using pigeons? That's not very vegan of you...
y/n_wolff Hey! I pay them, alright? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't do this job...
y/n_wolff (hey everyone this is a joke obv)
username3 Imagine what will happen when the haters see this comment section lol
mercedesamgf1 Can't wait to hear it ā¤ļø
ā³y/n_wolff š«¶
oscarpiastri Look at that last pic of Y/n with Lando
ā³landonorris fuck you if I was an animal i wouldn't be a cat
y/n_wolff Right, you'd be a worm.
landonorris would you guys still love me if I was a worm?
oscarpiastri No
y/n_wolff No
username1 May this be a love song š¤I need to her one from Y/n after her terrible breakup last year
ā³username2 She had a boyfriend last year??
username1 Yeah, we don't know anything about him besides the fact that he broke her heart... Poor girl deserves some true love
username2 Was it a driver?
username1 I highly doubt it, they wouldn't be able to keep it so private
alex_albon Pls make it singable on track
ā³y/n_wolff š¬ well...
alex_albon Y/n...
y/n_wolff It's a love song...
username4 SHE ADMITTED!! IT'S A LOVE SONG!!
ā³username5 Our girl is in love again š
username4 I just hope he treats her better than her ex. Otherwise imma need to talk to him
maxverstappen1 If you like cats so much you should come over sometime
ā³username4 Cats rizz š
ā³username2 No cuz Max has had a crush on Y/n for so long now and I'd love to see them together
ā³y/n_wolff You're a few weeks too late šš
username3 EXCUSE ME I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE MAN IS
username5 Me too, I just wanna talk... *cracking fingers*
y/n_wolff The one I prayed for out now, let me know your thoughts š©·šļø
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georgerussell63 Since when are you so religious?š¤Ø
ā³y/n_wolff He changed me ā¤ļø
oscarpiastri Great, another song Lando will make me unwillingly listen to
ā³y/n_wolff You love my music, don't lie
landonorris yes he does
oscarpiastri Alright, I know a few songs
y/n_wolff A few songs my ass, I saw that iconic interview where you and Lando sing my songs
landonorris he will never admit it but he was a fan YEARS before he got into f1 and met you
y/n_wolff Not like I stalk his Twitter but I saw a post from 2019 about me, it had like 5 likes and Oscar was one of them lmao
landonorris i knew you had daddy issues but are you okay?
ā³y/n_wolff Yeah why?? Wtf??
landonorris well after hearing this song I'm not
username1 "They may judge the age we are, the differences they see, but love knows not of boundaries, it only seeks to be free" MY GIRL IS A POET š
username2 I'm not ready to meet this man after hearing "He's walked through fire, faced his fears, but in his heart, there's room for tears" š
carmenmmundt Truly in love with the lyrics, they're out of this world, out of this century
ā³y/n_wolff Thank you love š„¹
lewishamilton The chorus got me in a chokeholdš
ā³y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for, in the dead of night, a love like ours, hidden from sight. If people knew, they'd say it's wrong, but in his arms I belongš„¹
ā³username4 What is Lewis doing here...?
username5 Chill, he drives for Mercedes. George also commented in case you didn't notice
username3 Lyrics so beautiful miss girl was born in the wrong generation
ā³username2 fr it sounds straight from 20th century poetry, she's too pure for the age of quick tinder hookups
username6 I knew what her father was like but damn...that song screams daddy issues...
ā³username7 Y/n said music is her therapy, that's just how she chooses to express her emotions
username8 When are we going to talk about this part of the lyrics?? "In his eyes, reflections of victory, every triumph and mystery. He's raced through life, faced every curve"?? THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT A DRIVER
ā³username9 Y/N AND MAX???
username10 me when I'm delusional
ā³username11 I wish it was about Max, but it's certainly about an older guy. I mean, Max is a few years older than Y/n, but the song feels like the guy is in his 30s
lewishamilton Summer break = days spent at the beach
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username1 Sir Lewis Hamilton casually adding his boss' daughter to his vacation pics š¤Ø
ā³username2 fr did he think we wouldn't notice?
georgerussell63 Blink twice if Y/n forced you to post the last photo
ā³lewishamilton She kindly asked and I agreed.
y/n_wolff Exactly. That's what I do. I ask. Kindly.
username3 SO HER SONG IS ABOUT HIM??
ā³username4 Seems like it š„¹
username3 idk how I feel about it tbh... she's too young for him
username5 Yeah imo she'd be better with Max
username4 Shut the hell up guys, let them be happy, there must be a reason they're together
landonorris that's called soft launching, did you know that?
ā³y/n_wolff Wdym?? We're just team bonding during the summer break
georgerussell63 Then why wasn't I at the team bonding?
y/n_wolff Uhhhh I'll call you back later, I'm driving through a tunnel š¬
username6 She's too young for him, will have her fun and move onto the next guy (Max?)
ā³username7 You're the reason why so many celebs prefer to keep their relationships a secret
username8 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??
ā³username6 Does he even know? š AFAIK he doesn't have social media
username8 But it's impossible that he wouldn't know, right...?
y/n_wolff I love you but what is this basic caption?š
ā³lewishamilton I'd rather like to focus on how pretty you look
y/n_wolff I LOVE YOU š
landonorris simp
y/n_wolff Stfu Lando, you wish you could hang out with us at the beach
username3 Lmao didn't expect Lando calling the 7 times world champion a simp but here we are
username9 Okay guys but... The girlfriend effect? How will the girlfriend effect work in this case if Lewis is a fashion icon already?
ā³username10 There must be a way for an upgrade, there always is
y/n_wolff Sorry, he's all perfect alreadyš«¶I guess the gf effect only applies to boys and my man is a real manš”
maxverstappen1 Have fun āļø see you back on track soon
ā³username6 Something doesn't feels right seeing Max in this comment section...
username10 Get your shit together, him and Y/n never had a thing, y'all made it all up based on one interview Max gave years ago
mercedesamgf1 šš
y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for
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lewishamilton I love you babe but what is this basic caption?
ā³y/n_wolff You're learning from the best, I see
georgerussell63 Good to know you're still team bonding š
ā³y/n_wolff Yeah, we bonded really hard last nightš
georgerussell63 TMI
oscarpiastri The last pic š¤
ā³landonorris she's getting bold isn't she
y/n_wolff I don't have reasons to be shy tho, do I?
landonorris girl made one good song and made it her whole personality
ā³y/n_wolff This is girlhood, you'd never get it
landonorris btw this is hard launching but in a 'we don't give a fuck' way
ā³y/n_wolff Well, we don't š¤·āāļø
username1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE Y/Nš
ā³username2 She grew up š
username3 I love how nonchalant they're about it
carmenmmundt Someone's been working outš¤
ā³y/n_wolff Now I have a personal trainer š
username4 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??
ā³username5 Bet we're gonna see much more of smashing his headset after the break
username6 How is she so casual about it? We just found out she's dating LEWIS MF HAMILTON and she's acting like that's nothing
ā³username3 I guess it is 'nothing' for her, she's known Lewis since she was really young
username7 That's what's giving me the biggest ick because this man has known her since she was an early teen and suddenly decided to date her?
username3 Yeah but she's in her 20s now, she's a consenting adult
username7 That's not normal, this is the definition of grooming
username3 I'm sorry I'm too european for your bullshit
username8 Lewis said fuck it I'm going to Ferrari next year anyway, might as well shoot my shot š
username9 Max Verstappen has been really silent
ā³username10 Now he'll compete with Lewis not only for the championship but also for Y/n š
username9 It would be such a win
username11 Can y'all MaxY/n shippers shut up? I swear y'all are worse than Lestappen shippers
y/n_wolff Roscoe working hard while his dad socializes with his grandpaw š„³
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username1 I didn't even realize now that Y/n and Lewis are together it means Toto is Roscoe's grandpaw š
georgerussell63 Working hard or hardly working?
ā³y/n_wolff No comment...
landonorris really shocked to see toto still gets along with lew
ā³username2 Lando saying what we all think lol
ā³y/n_wolff Dad was actually happy!!
landonorris does he hope you'll convince lew to stay in mercedes?
y/n_wolff How am I supposed to know š¤·āāļø you go talk to him
oscarpiastri New songs when?
ā³y/n_wolff Soon!! (I haven't started working on them)
username2 I'm actually happy to see them happy and that Toto accepts Lewis as Y/n's boyfriend
ā³username3 It's still weird š imagine calling a 40 year old your 'boyfriend'
username2 People are allowed to find love at any age
username3 Lewis is closer in age to Toto than to Y/n
username2 And? Y/n isn't a child, she's a grown woman, if Lewis is what she wants, who are we to judge?
username3 It's just icky... It's not gonna last long
username4 I still can't stop thinking what could be if Y/n was dating Max š„¹
ā³username5 fr my dream couple
username6 Y'all see how Y/n predicted people's reaction in her song? "If people knew, they'd say it's wrong" and y'all can't stop yapping about imaginary grooming or what her and Max could've been
ā³username7 Girl should've kept it a secret, I feel sorry for them š„²
ā³username8 But in his arms I belong
y/n_wolff Okay everybody, I didn't want to talk about it, but you give me no choice. Lewis and I are in love, there was no grooming involved, I make my own decisions. I really wanted to cherish our love with my new music, but you make me re-think it. I don't feel excited to share our love with you anymore.
ā³lewishamilton Don't worry about them darling ā¤ļø
ā³danielricciardo FEA
ā³landonorris You have our support guys
ā³oscarpiastri Don't let these comments get to you, they don't matter
ā³georgerussell63 I know I usually act like a snappy older brother, but I love to see you happy (even if Lewis is the reason)
ā³maxverstappen1 Haters are always gonna hate, but they don't deserve your attention
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#F1 smau#Formula one smau#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine
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Tkdb ghouls ā boobs, ass, personality, or something else pt 2
what is it called when you need to step away from your device whenever you write two sentences about Haku to keep yourself SANE. It's a disease at this point and it keeps happening when i write haku brainrot istg GET OUT OF MY HEAD *SHAKES HIM VIOLENTLY* anyways *cough* finally i got to write him here. haku, my main target, this happened because of you dude. sprinkle sprinkle
Part 2 - Sinostra, Hotarubi, Obscuary, and Mortkranken
Part 1 here
Fem bodied reader, foot fetish rui, mention of bloodplay. some of them are nsft so minors dni
Taiga
...Your entire being? Wherever he can get his teeth on??
Ok maybe both ass and boobs. Sometimes thigh especially when you're sitting on his lap during his gamble. It's like his hands just have a mind on their own. Had you not stop his hand from going further up he wouldn't even restraint himself. Does he even have any in the first place?
I feel like he's kind of into bloodplay(?) Watching his kitten squirm gets his blood rushing to his groin. The more you resist the more irresistible you are to him. Unless you made it clear to him that you don't want to scar yourself for him.
Romeo
(I'm biased) I would say he's personality guy... and after that is definitely looks. Of course what I mean by personality is not about being kind or compassionate, it's more about how you carry yourself. Be a fucking egoist; be fucking classy. But of course looks also matter because how you present yourself is how you want people to perceive you. You should treat your exterior like itās an armor and you have to keep him in mind when you try to make yourself look good. "Will Romeo hate it? Or will he like it?"
He's a face guy.
Look him in the eye when you're talking to him, think about him when you put on your makeup, don't refuse when he wants to cum on your face, do not ever turn your face away when he's still being gentle ā not when his hand is still caressing your cheek, and not grabbing your face roughly.
Whatever effort you've done for him, he should be the only one ruining it. Your tears should be there for him or because of him. Your smile should be there only when he's the one making you smile. Your anger, disgust, hatred, theyāre all his to manipulate and witness to his heart's content.
Did I say your face is his favorite thing to cum to?
Ritsu
Physically, he's into ass. And don't ask me why. He love your hips too especially when he can get his hand on it. Love to see you wear pencil skirt that hugs your curve on that area.
And intelligence. If you can argue with him (in his style), the longer you stand your ground your next words are will not be going through his head but through his dick. 100%. If you win he'll say yes to bottoming for you and you know he's not one to purposely lose a battle.
Subaru
Look... eyes...
Eyes are window through the soul, in which he will gladly get lost in if they're yours. Yes, with a single touch he can get inside your head but being able to look into your beautiful orbs and wonder about what you're thinking is simply... exhilarating. To think that you're so open to him that way... so trusting... he should've present you with a ring right there and then.
He can be a bit shy to lock gaze for too long, but if you distract him with kisses on the lips he would have no choice but to not look away. Yes he will faint but who cares when your arms are there to catch him.
Haku
Lips
He loves watching your lips when he does things to you. Be it when he's making you cum or when your lips are around his cock or as simple as hearing you talk. Sure he's listening to you talking about this and that but for sure half of his focus is on the way your lips are moving.
100% would run his finger through your lips, then slowly insert a finger in as you try not to gag, and then your drool would be all over them ruining layer of lip gloss that you've put on. Is it strawberry flavor this time? Can I have the honor of tasting it, princess? Please?
Of course his favorite word on your lips would be his name, much to his denial. Calling his name like a prayer is the last thing he needs ā it's what he wants, but not what he needs. He never need to be your God, he simply wish to be... Haku. Your Haku.
Zenji
Your skin is the perfectly blank canvas; your voice, scent, and soul, are the arts seeping through it. It'll be forever forgotten if Zenji ā the man of quill ā does not do justice on reflecting back your beauty with the touch of his lips and fingertips.
Would worship every inch of your skin if he could. He would write poems on you because you wouldn't let him bring papers to bed. With a lipstick he could either use it to write on you, or use it on him and let his mouth to the job of leaving love traces on you.
Ed
Shoulder, neck, veinsā exposed veins.
He bites. Or at least planning to one day. His claws slowly tracing along your veins, soon he'll invite his own lips on you ā oh so slowly like you're his long lost lover and his main focus would be to make you stay in your place for as long as he can make you.
Fantasize about leaving bite marks all over you. If you complain the next day he'll say sorry and use them as reason to kiss the pain away ā just to make new ones on other places. He'll whine like a little kid being denied of his nursing time if you say no.
Rui
Greedy bastard number 2 after Haku
Lips, neck, jawline, hands, feet (ok listen i'm still on my sub!rui phase)
He can spend more time picking the perfect stocking and killer stiletto/heels than the rest of the lingerie. He doesn't give two shits on whatās up there since he can only look and nothing else. The way you can pleasure him is when he's on his knees with hands tied in the back and your heels playing with his hard cock until he's a whimpering mess.
Lyca
Scent. I don't think I should explain more. He would even find your sweat pleasing to his nose and you would have a hard time pushing him away.
Yuri
Ankles (Blame @/jeun-bug and @/istharoth for this). Well I mean it wouldn't be far off so i will not be explaining it here.
Yuri and exposed back.
Backshots.
The guy can perform autopsy like itās a walk in the park but if you need help unzipping the back of your dress???? Yeah. Somebody please call the ambulance, the doctor is frothing at the mouth /j
Jiro
Big size difference. Whether you're the small one or the big one doesn't really matter as long as there's a noticeable gap between you and him. He's down for picking you up with one arm and also looking up during conversations.
#why's the romeo one so long lmao#well i did say im biased so#*slam my head against the wall*#ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU CAN GIVE ME A BREAK HAKU#*insert that one meme of crying child holding a cross*#tdb#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker x reader#tokyo debunker headcanons#taiga hoshibami x reader#romeo lucci x reader#ritsu shinjo x reader#subaru kagami x reader#haku kusanagi x reader#zenji kotodama x reader#edward hart x reader#rui mizuki x reader#lyca colt x reader#yuri isami x reader#jiro kirisaki x reader#rhy writes
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Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread
The Eye
Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher
You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING
"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"
I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.
"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."
I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.
The Web
I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.
I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.
If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.
I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.
"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood
The Stranger
I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.
If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.
Theater Kid
How do you Normal Human?
The Anatomy Class.
Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.
Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.
Being subtly off is too subtle for me.
The Lonely
"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."
Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.
Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.
Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.
The fog is your friend.
The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.
The Dark
Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.
Night Owl.
Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.
Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.
The dawn is your enemy.
The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.
Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.
The Spiral
Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.
Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?
Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.
Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.
I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.
Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.
What Is Time?
What Is Me?
The Gender
Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?
The Flesh
Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.
Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.
Will never try any other foods. Too picky.
Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.
Hates PETA.
Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?
Working out is a great stim.
The Corruption
Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.
"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"
Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.
According to all known laws of aviation-
Relationship boundaries struggles.
Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.
Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*
Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.
Forgot vital hygiene needs.
The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!
The Buried
Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.
Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.
101 facts about worms.
Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.
Digging a hole is good stimming.
That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?
The End
Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com
That's it, that's the list.
The Desolation
The Autism Temper.
Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.
The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.
Just watching candles melt for hours.
The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.
Jude Perry.png
The Vast
Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.
The stimulus of falling.
Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.
Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.
Weirdly enough... power scaling?
Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.
Brain empty, only terminal velocity.
The Hunt
Cat Autism
The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.
Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.
I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.
Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.
That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.
It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.
The Slaughter
The incredible human WW1 documentary.
"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*
Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.
The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)
The Extinction
The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.
It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.
You Will Make Them Care.
#the magnus archives#autism#the eye#the web#the stranger#the lonely#the dark#the spiral#the flesh#the corruption#the buried#the end#the desolation#the vast#the hunt#the slaughter#the extinction
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i find it so desperately sad that goyim generally would be so much less antisemitic if jews started physically fighting back with guns or sticks in every country. calling for the murder of muslims all over the world, if the jewish population was big enough to have large scary groups of crazy fringe fundamentalist synagogues all over the world, a billion strong, that preached murder and hate so goyim could look down on jews like some noble savage in need of assistance and western education and protection. so we could be reformed in obvious patronizing ways because there were so many of us that we had militant violent fringe extremists, like christians and muslims have, mixed in with the normal jews.
if jews didn't have such a reputation for success and intelligence maybe conspiracy theories would stop blaming us for controlling the world. if we felt less in danger maybe we wouldn't be so obsessed with long term survival.
is antisemitism some warped form of envy? maybe. what sucks is that jews are no better or worse than anyone else. some jews are brutes and some are the most wonderful people imaginable, just like any other group. what sucks is we don't all live up to the reputation of tactical geniuses and wizards with mind control magic. all of us jews are just tired and abused humans who have lived with 2000+ years of generational trauma and the endless fall out from a popular jewish book written 3000+ years ago describing the best practices of jewish culture. It has some great stories, histories, life advice, diet recommendations, hygiene, and rules about how to treat others.
is that such a crime?
trying to show a path forward? not demanding anyone else follow those rules but wanting to do our best to follow them anyway? how to live a good life that makes the world better and makes you proud to have been on earth for the time you were there? jews fail to do this all the time, just like everyone else. I fail all the time. why are people so obsessed with that? people say shylock is a stereotyped antisemitic character but,
"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes?Ā Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with theĀ same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject toĀ the same diseases, healed by the same means,Ā warmed and cooled by the same winter and summerĀ as a Christian is?Ā If you prickĀ us, do we notĀ bleed?Ā If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If youĀ poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shallĀ we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we willĀ resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian,Ā what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrongĀ a Jew, what should his sufferance be by ChristianĀ example? Why, revenge! The villainy you teach me IĀ will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better theĀ instruction."
so why do jews always have to be the better man? why do we have to apologize for being angry and sad and hating the people that attack us? that was written by Shakespeare, a christian in the 1600s who who had probably never met a jew, they were expelled from england, but imagined us as money lenders, the only profession left to jews at that time. even he saw the double standard. it makes a good point.
now, i don't want vengeance, i don't want violence, but i feel vengeful. i feel angry that i am unsafe because of play actors and terrorist supporters who want revenge for jews existing but scream bloody murder when jews refuse to dig their own graves, beg forgiveness for ever being born, and lay down in them to be mocked and pissed on and abused in the worst ways imaginable for the entertainment and conquest of it. i want peace with them. they are as human as i am, full of foibles and anger. i want nothing to do with them. i want them to never come near a jew again for the rest of time.
i am sad. all i want is to feel my feelings and advocate for what is the most ethical and practical work around to a world filled with unending suffering while i am still alive. i want them on thier side to live in the world they want and me on my side to live in the world i want. why don't these children of all ages, lost in delusions of fantastical battles and ultimate good and evil, see that? why can't I be a human first as well as a jew first? why do they ask me to pick? why am i not allowed to pick?
it's been almost a year. we're all so tired.
I'm going to a music festival. I'm trying to decide whether to wear a star. why is it dangerous to wear a star around my neck?
#jumblr#antisemitism#ramble#jewish#jewblr#the sadness hit me like a gust of wind before a storm#i wanted to say something before it hits#whenever it hits#judaism#jewish history#a moment of grief#I'm trying my best
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Am I the only one who hated the timeless child reveal and thought it made no sense? If they needed a reason for the Master to blow up Gallifrey they had plenty:
The Doctor and the Master were both heavily bullied to the point the Master almost died and the Doctor had to kill the bully to save him because he was being drowned
The Master was locked in a room for who knows how long intentionally as a punishment
The Master was taken from his family as a child to look into something that basically gave him schizophrenia
The Master was told to his face he's "diseased" (End of Time) and he's "the worst thing to come out" (The Five Doctors)
He has constantly been the timelord's pawn, giving him the drums was an intentional decision
It's implied he was tortured for his crimes after being trapped on Gallifrey when he sacrificed himself for the 10th doctor in End of Time
I would have LOVED if the Master blew up Gallifrey simply because he thought they deserved it after how they treated him and the Doctor both. What could make him do this could just be the fact he's disgusted by Missy's actions in trying to be better and feels like he has to do the worst thing he can possibly think of and that's what comes to mind. He'd try to convince the Doctor he's right "Remember how they didn't help us? How they took us and made us see things no child should? How we never got our own lives? That'll never happen to anyone ever again now" unhinged speech
Or "With them gone we are truly the last of the time lords, we have a right to the universe more than anyone now and it's ours to shape. Conquer with me and be a just ruler if you're so concerned"
#doctor who#the timeless child#thirteenth doctor#spy master#spydoc#thoschei#academy era thoschei#the doctor#the master#doctor x master#doctor who master#master doctor who#the master doctor who#13th doctor#the five doctors#end of time#10th doctor#tenth doctor#harold saxon#saxon master#simm master#tensimm#ainley!master#time lords#gallifrey#the drums#dhwan!master#dhawan!master#doctor who missy#missy doctor who
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