#I hate some people sometimes
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It's all compassion, grace, kindness, understanding, empathy, love until God blesses me once again with devout rage.
Waking up in a good mood and it all goes away very quickly is crazy.
#I need to take my medication more often#I wish I could extend my jaw like a snake to bite people heads off#I hate some people sometimes#I just cry and scream when I mad#I feel like a helpless child again#Oh christ so help me please#Literally it's all motivation to extend my god complex and be better than everyone.#maybe it's unhealthy but I don't mind anymore#I hate being sick in the head#Save me#Avoiding talking to my bff cause I don't wanna be mad at her cause she actually did nothing#marilynisms#im just a girl#girlblogger#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#girlblogging#coquette girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girl rotting#girl problems#just girly things#borderline rage
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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compared myself to Daria while talking to someone only for them to several hours later say they hate people like Daria. I can only assume this was an act of violence.
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I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:
Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace
Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.
I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism
#you know. misogyny?#transandrophobia#you're telling me only muslims and christians experience pants based sexism. in front of my salad?#i did not have screaming arguments with my nonbeliever non church attendee parents in the 2000s to have you lot --#sexism is Not strange or rare or fringe#pretend me wearing pants from then on was societally allowed. i got a talking to at school about pants.#i was scared i would have to wear a skirt at high school in the 2010s. thankfully the one i went to was more progressive#getting clocked as the only 'girl' in class wearing trousers without at leasts wearing a skirt over it#having older female AND male relatives pick up on the lack of a skirt/dress at events#yes some people think it's normal. and some people think being gay is normal. and some people dgaf if you're foreign or whatev#but existing some ways means you have certain experiences and there are certain risks hanging over you lol#just making this post bc some of you live in some extremely progressive USA city and have forgotten normal people exist /lighthearted#mum still shows me a polka dot dress i used to wear as a baby and asks me why i don't wear dresses. some dumb dress shes kept for 20 years#she wears trousers and dungarees sometimes. but that's the thing#pants are a temporary allowance. if that's all you wear then they hate that. you have to be Feminine when they demand#your wardrobe still carries sexist necessities before people start to look at you funny#if i went to an event like a wedding in a suit people would talk (closeted to most ppl irl)#anyway.#sending telepathic strength to anyone surrounded by so called progressives who have opinions on how they dress 👉👁️👁️👈
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Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans
#an art#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa the#danganronpa#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#akane owari#nekomaru nidai#Aoi asahina#chihiro fujisaki#mikan tsumiki#Idk I guess I wanted to draw characters being physical. And drunk#And just have fun colouring#Nidai doesn't drink but loves parties anyway and takes the ppl who go overboard home#And then wakes them up at 8 the next day to get some NUTRITION AND ELECTROLYTES AND TO SWEAT OUT THE BOOZE#Akane only drinks super occasionally (fx when it's free or really elaborate like giant fruit cocktails) or when someone challenges her#But she always comes pick up her drunk friends (lightweight Aoi hehe). Starts a fight occasionally....#Girls are allowed to crash at her place anytime. But she wakes up at 5 and you will wake up too#Fuyuhiko doesn't drink but has to do a lot of businesses at bars which he sometimes owns some part in#So he's in the party scene a lot anyway. He takes security seriously and would rather call you a cab than let you leave on stumbly legs#Mikan doesn't know how to say no and gets swept up in drunk people being...not mean to her#Chihiro does not drink often (because it usually ends like this)#Aoi is just a lightweight and gets sick easily#I really wanted to draw Chihiro with a 70s blowout cut but I think it didn't come through lol#Not tagging ships you can make your own meaning I'm tired and I gotta wrap presents. Which i hate doing wish me well
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person not involved in The Discourse: wow both sides on this need to touch grass lol theyre both wackos
side A on The Discourse: i would like to exist in peace
side B on The Discourse: everyone on side A should kill themselves
#i see this. so often. for like so many different types of discourse topics#sometimes some ppl dont have a choice to be involved in a discourse topic or not#bc then their choices are to shut up and accept the hate or try to fight against it and make ppl realize you deserve basic fucking decency#i know a lot of discourse can be bullshit but sometimes. u gotta realize some people are just trying to get others to leave them alone#cough cough bi lesbian discourse#suicide baiting tw
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‘But I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everyone & everything’
- Charles Darwin. Letter to Charles Lyell, 1 October 1861
#Darwin#quotes#famous quotes#Charles Darwin#always remember that everyone has bad days sometimes#even the people who look like they are productive beyond human capacity#sometimes it’s important to just acknowledge it and see that there are good things to come#but right now is just shit#anyway I have a flu or something#and right now I hate everyone and everything#and my immune system most of all#and the parents who send their sick and contagious kids to daycare#and the evolution of viruses#who tbh have absolutely no business to be wreaking such havoc on the more organised domains of life#about me#sorry to be a downer#your usual frog-related content will resume after a brief intermission#I realise that posting quotes is super cringe#sorry about that#at least some of you probably haven’t seen this quote before#so you’ve learned something today#and I’ve gotten to vent#win-win?
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In my opinion people who start to viciously hate bottlenose dolphins after learning the full picture of their exhibited behaviour are weaklings. I learned about dolphin infanticide and gang violence as a preteen, went, “nature sure can be very cruel” and moved on with my damn day TToTT
#like what do you MEAN an intelligent apex predator doing intelligent apex predator stuff came as a surprise to you#lions kill cubs too dont they? you knew that right? sometimes animals harm other animals for kicks and giggles even if its sad#i WOULD say “humans do messed up shit too” but some of you people already hate humans so.. uh
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“people who don’t block and report bots are why they’re still here” actually staff not properly dealing with them theirselves is why the bots are still here, not people who got tired of having to block and report several bots a day
#whimsy whispers#like I’m glad you still have the energy to block and report sometimes 10+ bots a day but that’s just too much I shouldn’t have to be blockin#and reporting bots anyways#I really hate how blame-y some of y’all are#also give us a combination report and block button please#I just block them and I’m not gonna get mad at people who do one or the other or neither#it’s tedious and annoying
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How did you get your tattoo apprenticeship if you don't mind sharing? I've been trying to get one for ages and I want to know if you did anything in particular with your portfolio or anything :)
i'm going to be 100% honest that i just got really lucky, i was still on the mailing list for a studio i'd been tattooed at before and i got an email that they were taking on apprentices so i went for it
i didn't have a LOT of tattoo designs at the time but i sent in what i did have and also some of my graphics/illustration stuff, then i had to make a flash sheet and also do an interview, and at the end of the interview they offered to take me on :3
(important: it wasn't my first application, i reached out to every studio that i could commute to and had just had a failed interview and i'd been slowly building my portfolio on and off for about 3 years so it took a LONG time)
#ramble#tattoo apprentice things#tl;dr it was one of those things where a MILLION things had to line up perfectly to get me here#it did come at the perfect time though bc i was not feeling great about my art at all#freelancing is great for some people but i hated it and job hunting just wasn't happening#i was going to give myself another year and then go back to uni for something else bc i just didn't know if i could do it forever#and then this just fell into my lap. so i'm very grateful#my imposter syndrome creeps in sometimes and tells me i don't deserve it bc i feel like i didn't work hard enough but i'm trying!!
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Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.
#complaining and whining about fandom#mdzs#cql#the untamed#nie mingjue#jiang cheng#WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO THEM#it's quite funny because in nmj's case i actually see shit from cql being carried over to novel canon to hate on him#for example my's treatment under the nie was explicitly much worse in cql because they transplanted the langya captain to qinghe#while the worst we see post-promotion in the novel is cultivators (WHO AREN'T EVEN NIE!) wiping ther teacups#(they're visiting from other clans like xichen. That's also why none of them had seen meng yao before.)#you can absolutely choose to interpret that worse things were happening to him at the hands of the nie off-page#it's definitely possible! but cql has people acting like it's objective canon#also the thing about empathy being inaccurate and biased in nmj's favor#that's another cql thing. in novel canon wwx can and does see things nmj does not notice (like the teacups!)#so even if he has some insight into nmj's thoughts and feelings it quite literally can't be showing things exclusively from his perspective#it was a pretty cool ceative decision from cql! gave us some very interesting character moments!#but sometimes i see people discuss the novel going 'and this was warped by nmj's bias i bet he was even worse in reality' girl wrong medium#in jiang cheng's case a lot of hate seems to be coming from the corner of cql!mains too#so clearly it can't be *that* big a difference in likability
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I should know better than to go on CR twitter but I just read someone in all seriousness complain about Orym “pulling the dead family card” without any seeming awareness of how callous of a thought that is
And I just desperately want some of these people to take a giant step back and try to exercise some curiosity about different explorations of life experiences and emotional truths instead of resorting to downplaying or dismissing ideas that are difficult or uncomfortable.
#cr discourse#I know twitter is dying and there are fewer and fewer people there#but the remaining crowd on twitter really do seem stuck in an echo chamber#where they can say things like ‘pulling the dead family card’#as if that’s a reasonable way to dismiss someone’s point about WORKING WITH THEIR LOVED ONE’S MURDERER#I know some of them just hate Liam but I also thought that got old like 2 campaigns ago#part of me hopes these people are just young and can’t relate but sometimes I see ages in profiles#and I’m just baffled
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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I LOVE BEING TRANS!!! I LOVE SEEING THE WORLD IN ITS SPECTRUM OF COLOUR AND BEING FREE TO EXPRESS MYSELF HOWEVER I WANT!!! I LOVE THAT I CAN EXPLORE MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY FREE OF RESTRICTIONS!!!!! I LOVE THAT I'M PART OF SUCH AN ACCEPTING COMMUNITY!!!! I LOVE BEING TRANSGENDER!!!!
#i've been really hating my identity recently so here's some affirmations hope u enjoy#because cis people can fucking suck - even the allies#all my friends at my college are cis and man they make me uncomfortable sometimes even though they don't mean to#but i really do love being trans#i just hate that cis people have tried to make me hate myself for it#but i will not let them#i will not be shamed into hiding myself for their comfort#transgender#nonbinary#transblr#gender stuff#trans stuff#queer#enby#genderqueer
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I propose to you, the core four being poly but Tim is the last person to realise.
Dick, visiting Tim at the tower: Hey buddy! You got something you wanna tell me? Tim, laying on the couch with his head in Kon's lap as he reads case files: No, why?
Wally:
Tim:
Wally: Why did my Uncle's Grandson just kiss you goodnight?
Tim: Don't shame him, he's adjusting to being in the past.
Diana: When did you and Cassie get together?
Tim, ever oblivious: Like, three years ago. You were there when we formed Young Just Us, weren't you?
Tim, venting to Stephanie: And like, that year was so hard because two of my best friends died! Weirdly enough, their deaths were way harder than like, anyone else's. I mean, I tried to clone Kon for some reason! Stephanie: God, I can't believe we ever dated, you're so stupid.
Damian: Drake, I have been informed that it is customary to wish queer people a happy pride month.
Tim: I mean, yeah. Why you telling me though?
Damian: In order to repair our relationship, I did some research and according to Father, you are bisexual and polyamorous. Therefor, I wish you a happy pride.
Damian: Drake? Why does your face look more ugly than usual?
Tim, reevaluating his entire life: OH MY GOD-
#tim drake#tim drake is a little stupid sometimes but we love him anyways#core four#young just us#conner kent#kon el kent#am i supposed to call him conner or kon??#i hate when people call me by the english version of MY name so i'll call him kon#cassie sandsmark#bart allen#bartholomew allen#BARTHOLOMEW LMAO HOW YOU FROM THE FUTURE WITH SUCH AN OLD ASS NAME#they're all gay#in some way or another#they're so silly
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being in art school and having basically 0 knowledge about christianity whatsoever is so funny at this point i think you could tell me literally anything was an allegory for jesus and i'd just believe you
#my ass has been to church like twice in my entire life so my peers are like 'this is a biblical allegory' and im like yeah ok sure#makes art history class very annoying tho because everyone just assumes you can look at a stained glass window and know who all the guys ar#also sometimes people will be like this image depicts the story of david or peter or some random other biblical name#and then just. not elaborate. because apparently we all know the stories of every biblical guy who ever existed.#who is peter and why is he in the church window. please#and i dont even have an EXCUSE bc like both ethnically and like in basic practice i am christian. i celebrate christmas or whatever#my parents both just fucking hated church so much as children they were like nah were not doing that#and now i have a deficiency in Identifying White Men In Paintings apparently.#sigh. sorry just got a 5 out of 13 on an art history quiz feeling GREAT
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