#at least some of you probably haven’t seen this quote before

[markscherz]

‘But I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everyone & everything’

- Charles Darwin. Letter to Charles Lyell, 1 October 1861

[kaleldobrev]

Spitting Image

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: You think Dean looks like one of your favorite characters. Dean on the other hand...doesn’t see the resemblance.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Cursing (5x), Insanely minor spoilers for S3 The Boys

Authors Note: I’m sure there’s someone that has done this already, but I wanted to write this because I believe Dean would probably be one of the biggest The Boys fans there ever was | I also just really love Soldier Boy and just need S4 | This is my first time using gifs throughout the fic so let me know if that’s something you like. I mainly did it so if you haven’t seen the show you know what scenes I’m referring to. But you don’t have to watch the show in order to read this | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

When you and Dean first met three years ago, the two of you instantly clicked. It was a strange feeling for Dean at first, because the last time he had felt this kind of instant connection to someone, they turned out to be a siren; and he wasn’t about to fall for that again. Thankfully, because you too were a hunter, you had let him subject you to all the usual tests to prove that you weren’t some kind of monster. Silver, holy water, bearing your non-vampire teeth, and even showing off your anti-possession tattoo; the whole nine yards. Dean subjected himself to the same kind of tests as well, to prove to you that he was not a monster either. You had told him that he didn’t have to, that you believed him when he said that he wasn’t some kind of monster, but he did so anyway, without complaint.

Not only did the two of you share a passion for classic rock, Clint Eastwood movies, bacon cheeseburgers, and classic cars, you also shared a love of a tv show that barely anyone he knew, or you watched: The Boys. One of you, neither of you could really remember which of you had first mentioned it, but as soon as one of you did, it was like a light bulb went off. “Holy shit! You watch it too?” You had said. Not soon after that conversation, the two of you had started dating, which caused you to jokingly ask Dean, “Was me liking The Boys the final test if you were going to date me or not Winchester?” He remembered laughing at your comment. “No, I wanted to date you the moment I laid my eyes on you but, you liking the show did give you bonus points.”

Week One. Today was the day; the first three episodes of The Boys was going to be available to watch today, and you honestly couldn’t be more excited. “This is what I hate about tv shows now. One season is like five episodes, and then when it’s over, you have to wait another two or three years for the next season.” Dean started to complain, but you couldn’t help but agree with him. “Back in my day, you only had to wait like four or six months for the new season. Or, if it was a cartoon, the next week.” Dean continued. His, ‘back in my day’ comments only made you chuckle as you were only a few years younger than he was.

“Well, at least we can enjoy three episodes tonight, and then one each week for the next couple of weeks.” You said, trying to add some kind of positivity to the situation. Once you walked into the bedroom you shut the door behind you and started relying the list of quote-on-quote supplies that you needed for premiere night. “Okay, I got the popcorn, you got the beers. We’re both in our comfy lounging clothes. Is there anything else I’m missing?” You asked, making your way to yours and Dean’s shared bed. Dean was already sitting in bed with the remote in his hand, where he had already placed a beer on each nightstand – one for you and one for him.

As you stood at the side of the bed, Dean turned to look over at you with a small smirk on his lips. “Just for you to bring that ass over here with the popcorn.” Dean winked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” You replied, giving him a wink back before sitting next to him in bed; both of you sitting with your legs crossed. You placed the popcorn bowl in the middle so the two of you would be able to have easy access. Grabbing the remote that Dean had placed in front of you, you hovered your finger on the play button. “Ready?”

“I’m ready when you are Beautiful.” Dean said – you had never pressed the play button quicker your entire life.

As the two of you were watching the show, there was one scene in particular where you couldn’t help but raise a brow. Without any kind of warning to Dean, you pressed the pause button on a scene that showed a black and white photo of Soldier Boy and a group color photo of Payback. You did a double take just then, looking at the screen and looking at Dean. You couldn’t help but think that Dean looked like a spitting image of the actor that was playing Soldier Boy. After looking at Dean for a second time, he couldn’t help but look at you with a slightly confused, yet annoyed expression on his face. “Y/N, why’d you pause it?” He asked.

“You’re not…you’re not seeing this?” You asked, sounding slightly baffled.

“See what Sweetheart?” He voice sounding a bit more confused now.

You pointed at the screen, as if it should be obvious what he should be looking at. “You look exactly like Soldier Boy.”

Dean turned from looking at you to looking at the screen, eyeing the black and white picture of the man before him. He squinted his eyes, and unsquinted them just as quickly before looking back at you again. “What?”

With an annoyed huff, you got up from your spot on the bed and walked over to the screen so you can point at the picture. “You don’t see it?!” You questioned, amazed that Dean could not see the clear resemblance between him and the actor.

With a sigh, Dean got up from his spot; doing his best to humor you in the moment even though he knew for a fact that there was no way he remotely looked like the character. Getting up close to the screen he stared for a moment, doing his best to focus on the picture. “Nope. I don’t see it. I mean, the dude has a mask on.”

“Dean, that smile, clearly yours. And plus, I think I’ve seen you with a mask on plenty of times to know what you look like with a mask on.” You said. “Two words: Zorro roleplays.”

“I…” As soon as you said that, he looked back at the screen again. “No. I still don’t see it.”

“I honestly don’t know how you’re not seeing it! It’s like looking into a mirror!” Your frustration was starting to show in your voice. You walked back over to the bed and sat back down, Dean following your lead.

“I’m sorry Sweetheart. I’m just not seeing it.” Dean said. “Can we finish watching? We got two more episodes to watch tonight. And we’ve waited like a year and a half for this season.”

“Fine, fine…Soldier Boy.” You whispered the last two words, hoping that Dean didn’t hear you.

Dean’s head snapped to look in your direction. “What?”

“What?” You asked, almost too innocently for his liking.

“Did you…did you just call me Soldier Boy?” The way he asked, you knew for a fact that he had heard you.

You hesitated to answer for a moment. “No…”

Watching episode three was a struggle for you. It was so hard not to picture Dean now in the Soldier Boy scenes because of how much he looked and sounded so much like the actor playing him. “Fuck, you would look so good in that suit.” You whispered, barely audible as you watched a flashback scene taking place about what happened with Soldier Boy and his team when they were in Nicaragua with Grace Mallory.

“Say something Sweetheart?” Dean asked. You could see in your peripheral that Dean had his face looking toward you instead of having his eyes on the screen like you.

“Nope.” You turned to face him. “Why?”

“I thought…” Dean thought for a moment whether or not he was going to comment on what he thought he heard you say. Fuck, you would look so good in that suit. But decided that it would be best to play dumb for now; he didn’t want to bring up the weird argument you guys had during episode one. “Nevermind.”

Week Two. The next week rolled around, and it was time for episode four. “I can’t believe that the season is already halfway over.” You commented.

“Don’t know why they can’t do thirteen episodes like a normal show. None of this eight episodes crap.” Dean complained, doing his best to try and set the show up like you had showed him to do so many times before.

“Alright. As usual, I brought the popcorn, you got the beers, and we’re both in our comfy clothes. Anything else I’m missing?” You walked over to the bed, holding the giant bowl of extra buttered popcorn that Dean had requested.

“You sitting next to me.” Dean winked. “Come bring those soon to be insanely buttered fingers over here.” His comment made you laugh. “What’s so funny Gorgeous?”

You sat on the bed, taking your place next to your boyfriend, and looked at him with absolute awe. “You.” Was all you said before kissing him.

“Oh come on!” You said, pressing the pause button. “He even sounds like you when you sing!”

“What? That sounds nothing like me!” Dean exclaimed.

“Yes, it does. That’s exactly what you sound like when you sing.” You argued back.

“I-I’m not that bad. That guy –” Dean pointed the screen, “that guy sucks!”

“I’ve heard you sing Rapture by Blondie countless times. You sound exactly like that.” Although you had only known Dean for a short amount of time – three years to be exact – you have heard this man sing all the time. More often than you would have thought for someone like him. Between the long car rides, hearing him randomly sing when he’s in the shower or working on Baby; even at karaoke night down at the local bar when he’s had a few too many, you were far too familiar with his singing voice. Your boyfriend couldn’t really sing, but he enjoyed it. He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t necessarily the best either.

“I don’t sound like that! That guy right there? Clearly tone deaf.” Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now. He knew for a fact that he wasn’t the best singer; he didn’t sing because he was good, he sang because he enjoyed it. “Are you calling me tone deaf?”

“What? No. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying, I honestly cannot understand how you don’t see or hear that you sound exactly like this guy.” In that moment, you felt an idea hit you. Pointing your finger at Dean you said, “You know what? I’m getting Sam. He’ll agree with me!” Getting out of bed you started making your way toward the door; Dean following close behind you. “Sammy!” You called out once opening the door.

“Y/N! No! We’re not getting Sam involved.” Dean said, a hint of frustration and slight annoyance in his voice.

You stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, turning around to face Dean who you almost collided with. “Cause you know I’m right!”

“What? No! I didn’t say that!” He pinched the bridge of his nose; there was a small part of him that didn’t believe that he was having this kind of quote-on- quote argument with you.

“Sammy!” You called again, practically marching your way down the hallway.

Sam came out of his room, which was pitch black; the only hint of light was coming from the flashing lights of the tv in his room. “Y/N? Everything okay?” Sam asked, partially stepping out of his bedroom.

“Okay. Me and Dean need a debate settled.” You began. “There’s this character on The Boys called Solider Boy and I honestly think he a spitting image of Dean. Even sounds like him. But Dean, can’t see it or hear it.”

“I think she’s wrong. Clearly.” Dean chimed in.

Sam looked at the two of you, almost in disbelief. He didn’t know what he was really expecting to be honest, you and Dean had gotten into all sorts of debates since you two have known each other; some of them more ridiculous than the previous one. In some ways, it almost reminded him of some of the debates him and Dean would get into. They were slightly childish, but also weirdly passionate when it came to their side of the argument. “Alright.” Sam rubbed his face. “Show me what you’re talking about.”

Back in yours and Dean’s room you had episodes three and four pulled up: the flashback scene that had quite a bit of Soldier Boy lines, and episode four where he sang Rapture. After the three of you watched both parts – Dean rolling his eyes 90% of the time; you turned to Sam waiting to hear him hopefully agreeing with you. “I mean…” Sam looked at the scene that you were paused on and looked at Dean and then back at the screen. “Kinda. Like, if you squint.” Sam finally said.

“Ha! I win!” You slapped the sides of your legs as Dean said that. His reaction about what you were expecting.

“No! No! He said if you squint! That’s different than a flat-out no.” You argued.

Week Six. It had been a couple of weeks since you and Dean had your weird argument – more like debate – about whether or not he did in fact look like the actor who played Soldier Boy. You were a firm believer that he in fact did, which you thought was a compliment because you had thought that the guy playing him was probably just as attractive as Dean was. But Dean on the other hand, was of the opinion that he did not look or sound remotely like the guy and could not believe that you could even compare the two. “It’s like comparing apples to rifles.” Dean had told you. “Dean, that doesn’t even make any sense.” You replied. “Exactly my point.” He said.

After the first couple of episodes, you had decided that it was best to not bring up the debate again, knowing that the two of you would never agree. It wasn’t the end of the world of course, but there was a part of you that still could not believe that Dean couldn’t see it. Even Sam; who you really thought was going to agree with you, really didn’t. You had thought that if anyone would agree with you, it would be him.

You were currently in the Bunker kitchen with your back leaning against the counter waiting for the popcorn to be done. You were doing your usual weekly routine where you were the one that made the popcorn and Dean was the one that gathered the beers for the two of you. As you were watching the seconds count down on the microwave you heard heavy boot steps coming into the kitchen; full well knowing that it was Dean. You had been living with the man long enough to know exactly what his footsteps had sounded like, and you were also aware that you and Dean had the Bunker all to yourselves tonight. What made it slightly strange though, is that his boots didn’t sound like the ones that he normally wore. “I was thinking, after we finish the finale tonight, we could go for a nice long walk.” You said as the microwave beeped. Taking the popcorn out of the microwave you turned to see Dean; your jaw dropping. “Son of a bitch. Where did you…How did you…” In front of you, Dean was in full Soldier Boy costume – minus the mask; you were impressed that he even had the shield.

“Uh, Charlie.” He almost seemed embarrassed. “I uh, I called her up a few weeks ago.” He walked into the kitchen more so he was now on the other side of the counter that you were currently behind.

“You…you asked Charlie to get you a…Soldier Boy costume…?” For one of the first times in your life you were utterly speechless. You and Dean had roleplayed before and have seen each other in some…interesting costumes, but for you, this took the cake, especially since you knew Dean thought he looked nothing like the man. You wondered what had changed his mind, or even if he did change his mind, and was just doing this to appease you.

Dean let out a small, slightly embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah.” He put the shield down on the counter. “I asked her to get it for me. Mainly…Mainly for you.” He mumbled the last couple of words, but they were still loud enough for you to hear. Your face lit up a bit at his comment. Even though he really disagreed with you that he looked nothing like the man, that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge you in your fantasy; considering you have done that plenty of times for him, and well…he did have to agree with you on one thing: he did look pretty good in the costume.

“Well, I uh…” You walked around the counter and stood in front of Dean, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m definitely gonna have to send her a fruit basket cause…fuck.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around your waist. “You wouldn’t…You wouldn’t want to roleplay would you?”

Dean smirked, clicking his tongue. “Would I have to wear the costume the whole time?”

“Only for a bit.” You smiled.

[i-am-grell]

I’m Back! Throw Anime at Me!

If you’re new here, I suck at starting and finishing series and making choices, so I let Tumblr pick which anime I’ll watch next.

I’ve just returned from vacation, and have the freedom once again to include longer series - and long long series (description of how that’ll work below with the propaganda) - in these polls!

As always, propaganda* (*rambles about series I haven’t finished and how little I know about series I haven’t started yet, etc) below the poll. You’re welcome to reblog if you wanna bully your followers into voting for your fave. Other people’s followers and assorted Tumblr users: you don’t have to know me, follow me, or like me to throw anime at me. You don’t even have to like anime if you just wanna press a button. Go wild.

Propaganda:

How the long long series will work in my polls:

We all know some anime series are hundreds - even thousands - of episodes long. When it comes to these polls, rather than straight-shotting through these beasts, I’ll break them up by however the series is naturally divided (by season or arc - whatever that series has chosen). If there’s a shorter season/arc, it may be combined into the next one (for instance if one arc has 16 episodes and the one after has 30, I’ll watch 46eps for that poll option, since that’s pretty manageable. We’ll play it by ear, folks). I’ll always be specific in the propaganda about how far I’ll be watching for that particular poll and update my pinned post with my progress for that specific series after. The series may not show up in back-to-back polls for the sake of taking breaks and not burning myself out on the same thing.

Rambles about the options:

Blue Exorcist - I watched everything available circa 2014/15ish, but now there’s more? Apparently? I guess? Cool! I’ll probably rewatch what I have seen since it’s been a while and proceed from there.

Free! - I watched ISC and ES as they were airing. In sub. And y’all know I prefer dubs (of course I went back and watched it when there was finally a dub). But while everything past Eternal Summer was airing, I was in my busy period… 😬 Still have to finish it - but to be clear, I will be marathoning everything, starting yet again with Iwatobi Swim Club. Also I absolutely don’t mean to influence the vote but the longer Free! stays in these polls, the more 50% Off! quotes I get to use. If you ever see “backstroke for days,” assume I’ve run out.

Zombie Land Saga + Revenge - This has been in the polls before and I’m sure many of you have seen my propaganda for it before. TLDR: Love it, wanna finish it, TERFs aren’t welcome here 😌

Bungo Stray Dogs - I think about Dazai at least once a day and I haven’t even watched this show. I have 1) seen pictures of this man 2) listened to anime tiktok simps talk about this man. Do with this what you will.

One Piece - There’s a quote from an episode of Um, Actually… where Mike Trapp says he hasn’t read Wheel of Time because, while he’s always meant to, it “feels like nerd homework.” One Piece is my “feels like nerd homework.” For the purpose of this poll option, if chosen, I will start One Piece by watching the first arc.

Mashle - Anime OP make brain go brrr. Also from what I understand, it’s regular guy brute-forcing his way through Legally Distinct Hogwarts.

[liverralonee]

okay okay wait hear me out.

stu was allowed to watch spongebob as a kid - he LOVED that shit, thought it was hilarious and quotes it everyday (barely anyone knows what hes saying😭)

billy wasnt allowed to watch it, so it turned him into spongebobs biggest hater, and will audibly sigh and get all irritated whenever stu mentions it

sidney wasnt allowed either, but she didnt care, she’d watch it sometimes at a friends house, but she was indifferent to the show in general; will occasionally laugh at stus stupid jokes

tatum was allowed, and she loved it, but she grew out of it and doesnt mention it every other second (cough stuart cough) but she catches every reference stu says and finds them funny

randy was also allowed, but didnt care for the show. he probably thought it was childish and unfunny, and lowk hates on it w billy sometimes, only he actually knows the show and isnt just blindly hating on it

(also, one time in private, stu made a spongebob related joke and billy actually LAUGHED. stu hasnt ever let him live it down and uses it as black mail from time to time to get what he wants)

HELP I LOVE THIS SM i love random scream headcanons they’re so funny

i think stu just knows pop culture like really well. like any kind of kids tv show? he’s seen at least an episode. sit coms? seen them. like any movie ever? he’s seen that shit

like it is insane how much this boy knows he gets any reference to anything but also lowkey gets slightly annoyed when other people don’t get it like fym you haven’t seen every single episode of jimmy neutron? (i’ve never seen it guys )

i feel like billy’s mom was cool with him watching mostly anything but she had like some very specific cartoons she didn’t want him watching , again, for really stupid reasons. soooo, stu brings it up and billy’s just a hater 😭 he’s a hater on most things tho so it’s not that crazy but stu’s a huge spongebob fan like he cannot believe this. this is hate. discrimination even.

i’d see sidney and tatum having about the same reaction to stu’s jokes except as you said, sid doesn’t actually know what he’s on about she’s just trying to go along with the joke and laugh it as if she knows what’s going on. hc that when stu and tatum first became friends she didn’t know any other thing that stu was interested in other than spongebob so that’s all they ever talked about 💀

and randys just… sigh. ily randy sm but i feel like he either enjoys something or absolutely hates it😭 like in scream 2 with how much of a hater he is when it comes to sequels like if he hates something, he DESPISES THAT SHIT HE CANNOT SPEND IT LMFAO. so stu makes a joke and randys just like “stu’s at it again”

i feel like before randy got into the whole like hating billy at any moment he gets, i feel like he actually tried being friends with billy but it just didn’t work cause billy doesn’t like anyone 😭 so stu makes another spongebob joke and randys like “oh my god. did you see that billy? he’s at it again” and billy just ignores him cause he does NOT wanna be friends with randy

i’m getting off topic but yeah i feel like randy tried to be friends with billy but uhhhh, it didn’t work very well.

also the billy laughing at stu’s joke i feel like it’s happened multiple times but it’s very rare. he has to be in a REALLY good mood 😭 but it’s probably happened a few times and stu does not let him move on from it even years later

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Why do rumors about Harry and Meghan don’t seem to stick but rumors about William and Kate do? I mean, among a certain demographic or type of people at least. With rumors about H&M, I only ever see people who hate them repeat those rumors, and quite frankly, sometimes they start to sound a bit extreme to me if I try to take a step back from the internet & remember I don’t actually know these people. But with rumors about William and Kate, they get traction outside the sussex squad circle, particularly on Twitter. They get made fun of a lot and I just get this heavy feeling because I feel like there’s so much anger from the sussex squad that they would literally say the worst things about W&K (I see that there’s also so much anger towards Meghan and Harry but of course I have my bias so I feel bad about the ones about W&K more. It’s annoying when some social justice warrior on Twitter say things like “these people defending Kate, do you do the same for Meghan?”. Like, I’m defending Kate because I’m a fan, duh.) l. But anyway, outside our little circle here, people don’t take seriously the rumors regarding Meghan’s kids, for example. Like, some people here say there are rumors that Harry was violent to women, but outside the little circle of extreme royalists/wales fans, nobody thinks of Harry as a violent man. But they do genuinely believe the rumors about William and Kate even though they do not have any proof or whatsoever. They genuinely believe Kate is a victim of William, that he cheats on her, that he’s a bully.

I responded to someone who was spreading some wrong information about Kate’s sick leave (they said it was weird they didn’t post a photo for her birthday — i said they don’t do that every year, they said it was weird they didn’t release a photo of william taking care of the kids/it’s weird we haven’t seen the kids — i said it’s not weird because we only see the kids a few times a year, they said 9 months was weird — i said KP never said 9 months!) I literally simply corrected the wrong information the person was spewing. And then someone responded to me that I sound like the “leave britney alone” people, perhaps implying that i am a part of the problem because I am not entertaining the idea that Kate might need help?? Just because I think before jumping into conspiracy theories? Anyway, it was just a random person on the internet and I shouldn’t be bothered, but still… lol.

That was on reddit. I probably should just avoid that place if the things people have been saying make me feel bad but I wanted to set the record straight lol. Anyway, I also saw some people there quoting articles and stuff about William’s alleged temper. And I’m just like people have been talking about Harry’s temper for years too and they’ve also been documented in articles and books! I guess the difference for them is that Harry has been so open about his therapy.

I also have a confession to make. I was curious about the nature of rumors, so I did a little experiment and sent a tip to deuxmoi to see how easy it really is for anyone to just send it whatever. I didn’t want to make up something really potentially damaging, so I sent something innocent. I just said Meghan wants to work with Greta Gerwig. It got posted but didn’t get any attention. But I feel like if someone sent it something there like Meghan has a sex kink or whatever it still wouldn’t make as much traction as whatever sexual rumor they assigned to William. It would be seen as really disgusting (and rightly so). I mean, I probably shouldn’t feel that bad for a man who would be king and has the resources to protect himself, but people have been sexualizing William perhaps since he turned 18 and the rumors sussex squad spread about him are just another way of doing that.

It’s bothering me these days to be honest. I fear logging on to the internet fearing the things I will see about W&K. I certainly need to step back lol. I also remind myself there are things beyond our control. I look at it from a historical perspective, like there are rumors Anne Boleyn had six toes. So I guess it just comes with the territory for William and Kate that people could say absolutely anything about them.

Part of it probably is that it comes with the territory for William and Kate. Everyone in positions of power have an opposition that wants to weaken their impact so they use gossip as a tool to undermine them. Celebrities, politicians, athletes, rival friend groups in school.

But there are also two other reasons to consider.

First is that we don't actually know a whole lot about William and Kate. Despite being incredibly popular and famous, they're actually pretty private. We don't really know who William and Kate (as well as George, Charlotte, and Louis) are beyond what they have said in interviews or done in public on their engagements. They also don't speak to the press, fully adhering to "never complain, never explain." So because we don't know a whole lot about them, it's easier to make things up to justify, explain, or describe what we see. It sticks because they're never going to address it: not to confirm, not to deny, not to deflect.

Unlike Meghan and Harry. They're constantly talking to the press and constantly addressing whatever is being said about them. They give us information to that justifies, explains, describes what they do. We don't need to make stuff up because they're giving it to us on a silver platter. But more than that, specifically when it comes to the more egregious rumors like the ones about their children, they go straight to the narcisstic DARVOing, which is particularly effective at getting people to stop talking about you.

Second is that the Sussexes have the power of repetition. The rumors they create and the stories they tell about the Waleses stick because they keep being told. They sell the same story to People, Page Six, The Cut, E News, the Daily Mail, and Netfilix. Then they tell the same story to Scobie, Abigail Spencer, MIsan, Oprah, Tyler Perry, CDAN, DeuxMoi, Bouzy, and the social media bots. And all those publications, all those people, all those bots talk about it so it picks up traction, everyone repeats it, and it spreads like wildfire. Because the Sussexes have told so many people, there are many sources talking about it, so the general public is more likely to believe it - "I heard it from X, Y, Z, and 1, 2, 3, so it MUST be true."

Unlike William and Kate, who don't have pet reporters or pet publications or bots to fight these battles with. At most, they talk to one reporter for an exclusive every 2-3 months, if even. So because there's no "institutional backing" to Sussex rumors that spend the time and effort to keep them in the public space (like Oprah, Netflix, People, or even the Waleses themselves) long enough for the more mainstream public to become aware, the Sussex rumors die on the vine and everyone who talks about it looks unhinged.

That's why Kensington Palace speaking to Page Six was so groundbreaking. It's the first time the Waleses met the Sussexes where they are and hints that they're aware the Sussexes may have had a hand in creating the controversy. Usually when KP speaks to Americans, they do it through traditional mainstream press (the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC, ABC, etc.). They've never gone directly and personally to a Sussex/Meghan PR mouthpiece before.

(I don't count People as a Sussex-exclusive source because the BRF has used People long before Meghan came around. People takes stories from anyone with the money to pay them.)

[ryuichirou]

Reply

Replies! About ships, about past drawings, about Vil, Neige and Rook, and about Jamil (AzuJami, KaliJami), about some random hcs. And one about AzuIde Marriage AU!

I also wanted to note that we have some asks related to the way I draw things, and I feel like it requires a tutorial, so it’ll probably take some time until I reply… sorry.

Anonymous asked:

🫙 + 👻 + 🏹

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sdfihsduh THE SECRET CODE… 😭 so confusing yet so meaningful!! Long live Rook’s special jar

Anonymous asked:

I have seen you draw Greenviolet before but have you tried Redwer?? (Redmond x Bluewer)

We like these two, but not as much as we love Greenviolet; so even though I have nothing against the idea of drawing them together, I haven’t done it, and I don’t know when I’m going to.

I’ve mentioned it just the other day: we’re not in Kuroshitsuji mood right now, and while it could change very suddenly and I might feel the urge to draw our faves from there out of nowhere, the chances of us drawing Redwer are kind of low…

But when we revisit the manga (idk when), I’ll most likely sketch them together at least once – it’s a shame that I haven’t drawn them as a pair even once.

Anonymous asked:

Day 1 of asking you to draw Edgar Redmond x Lawrence Bluewer

I’m going to stop you right there, Anon, I’m sorry, although I understand your feelings. Please don’t ask: I don’t take free requests, and the more you ask, the less likely I am to draw them.

Anonymous asked:

Lol, Silver looks so done with Lilia in your Touhou art

Heheh he’s just a little sleepy 😌 As always.

Anonymous asked:

The bit about the sextant reminds me of ed, edd, n eddy’s big picture show

(referring to the cursing hcs post)

Yes! It’s kind of a sneaky reference, Anon, I’m glad you got it! lol

The fact that it’s a quote from a kids’ show… EEnE is special.

Anonymous asked:

Wait, if it follows the story and it was the boar's heart and not Neige's, that's kinda heartbreaking if you don't pay attention to how messed up it is.

I can imagine Vil being both outraged and saddened if/when he finds out it's not Neige's. (if it follows the original storyline)

(related to this Vil drawing)

Yeah, he might even snap and decide to get rid of Neige himself! Nothing could be trusted to his trusted hunter, it seems >:C

But if we’re going with rkvl angle, it is also easy to picture Rook protecting not only Neige but Vil’s soul that way: of course Vil isn’t the one doing the killing, but it’s his decision; and wouldn’t Vil start to regret this decision after going past the point of no return?

The answer is no, Snow White needs to die, that bitch >:c

Sigh… sometimes betrayal is beautiful~

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

So I heavily love the headcanon/idea of Neige being all sweet and innocent but then when he's alone he's more "mature" than what the public assume, and VERY vulgar about his admiration/maybe crush on Vil. The dwarfs are the only one who know his actual personality and accepts him. What are your thoughts if Vil saw Neige's side when they're alone?

I think Vil would be shocked because Neige must be an amazing actor to pull something like that off – Vil is a good judge of character, and if he didn’t clock him being a fake person, he is genuinely impressive. But Vil would also feel kind of pleased at first, because of course no one is that much of a saint and a good person, and it feels good that the bitch you hate is actually vulgar and unlikeable (subjective and caused by Vil’s own bias lol). But even then, after that first “heh” emotion ends, Vil will likely feel disappointed… I guess he really wanted Neige to really be that good and that innocent deep inside.

But then he’ll learn that Neige is super horny and outspoken about what he would do to Vil’s body, and start avoiding him like a plague lol It will create weird tension between them, that’s for sure. It’s not like Vil can reveal Neige’s secret to anyone either, because he would also get attention like that…

Anonymous asked:

I notice you said that Idia wasn’t really in love with Azul. If so, why did he marry him?

Anon! I’m sorry but I’ll use your ask to note that there is another asks related to this AU, but I can’t post the reply just yet because it requires some context (a comic that we haven’t posted yet). I thank both you and that Anon for your patience and your interest in this AU <3

To answer your question! In terms of benefits, it’s true that Azul has more to gain from their marriage than Idia (Idia is aware of that), but Azul actually makes Idia’s life easier in a lot of ways! He keeps Idia’s human interactions to a minimum and does all the talking for him, he is his representative in every affair that would require Idia to actually go out and communicate with others. Azul organises anything that needs to be organised, he basically does all the thinking for Idia. This is pretty much how Azul pitched this whole thing to Idia: imagine if you didn’t have to think about anything other than doing your thing? Imagine if no one bothered you? Of course, Idia still has stuff to do as the future director of S.T.Y.X., but being with Azul is… comfortable. It’s like Azul always makes sure that Idia’s environment is perfectly conditioned for him.

But in a lot of ways, I think both of them have some feelings for each other. For whatever its worth, Azul gives Idia some comfort. Aside from Ortho, he is probably the closest person to Idia, at least in terms of understanding how each other’s brains work. He knows Azul, he knows his flaws and knows where it is and isn’t safe to trust him. Idia wouldn’t open up completely (Azul wouldn’t either), but hey, if he has to pick someone to spend the rest of his life with while slowly getting tired of each other and starting to feel resentful (funny how Idia views marriage considering his parents seem to love each other), he would rather allow Azul to sign up for that role than someone else. He wouldn’t get any better option than Azul anyway.

Underneath all that rational reasoning could hide the fact that Idia genuinely likes Azul, but doesn’t want to fall in love with him.

Anonymous asked:

Jamil being into powerplay porn feels so right! I sometimes wonder if he would enjoy acting like a brat, if he ever found someone he actually likes and feels comfortable with. I can't really see current Jamil doing it, since he seems like the kind of guy who thinks love and trust are for kids. Even if he suddenly went insane and admitted this, his most likely partners would be awful as "tamers".

Azul wouldn't need to have the details explained to him, but he might take the punishment too far a bit too quickly at the first act of disobedience. Also he is physically unable to turn off the smugness (at least with Jamil), even when he's supposed to act stern. At that point it becomes more like humiliation than "disciplining". Jamil can work with that too, it's just not quite what he's looking for.

Meanwhile Kalim wouldn't even understand (You want to be scolded???). It wouldn't even be entirely Kalim's fault, I think Jamil is worse at explaining things to him, and gets embarassed a lot faster than normal. To his credit, Kalim would figure it out on his own eventually (Oh, so it's like acting in a play!), but he still wouldn't be able to put it in practice. Time to ask the Film Research Club for acting tips!

Anyway essay over, but do you guys have these kind of headcanons where you're like "I could see this character being into this, but only in specific circumstances"?

Oh Jamil would make such a wonderful brat, if only he was comfortable enough doing that and had people around him who could handle him lol Both Azul and Kalim are simply horrible!

I agree that Azul would unintentionally turn disciplining into humiliation, and he would always go too far. He prides himself on his self-control, and he is very good at it usually, but it’s Jamil we’re talking about. Azul is just a man… Ironically, I can picture these two having a fling during which they kind of start arguing/aggressively bickering/flirting/fighting, which always leads to them having sex somehow. It’s very raw and unusual for both of them, and Jamil wouldn’t be comfortable admitting that he likes putting up a fight and being unapologetically rude just to get overpowered by Azul. It’s steamy, and it tickles the bratty bone, but like you said, this isn’t exactly that, and Azul’s face is way too punchable for it to be the perfect deal for Jamil.

Film Research club would be SUCH A GOOD HELP for Kalim! It also made me remember how Rook helped him to work on his wolf roar for Halloween, and Kalim ended up being quite good at it. It’s not impossible for him to learn! But it is difficult because scolding Jamil and punishing him feels so weird to poor Kalim :(

As for headcanons, it’s a bit difficult to tell, because there are a lot of characters, and there are a lot of kinks that they may or may not be kind of into but just a little bit. But answering in yes/no manner, yeah that happens a lot! I think you can see it while reading our hc posts about specific kinks. I think I do the “he wouldn’t be into it BUT” thing a lot lol

Anonymous asked:

Real question: Who would do the dick in a box present prank? Who would do it completely nude? And who would open it?

My first instinct is to say Ace, but unfortunately I think even he would think that it’s kind of immature lol Floyd wouldn’t though! Well sometimes he would, but I could still picture him thinking that this is a hilarious idea and do it completely nude because he misunderstood the assignment a little bit.

Riddle would still open it… I don’t know what he expected.

Lilia could also do it, but neither Silver nor Malleus would want to open it because they know exactly what they’re going to see. Maybe Silver will do it not to upset Lilia…

Idia would also open it, but because he would feel like he’s being held at gunpoint lol Open the box, Idia 🔫

[kaigarax]

Orange Dreams

Uchiha Obito x Reader

Quote: “Fall in love when you’re happy.” & “Fall in love when you’re confused.” & “Fall in love when you’re sad.”

Memories 21 Years

When a boy does something stupid once it’s usually because he’s curious.

When he does something stupid twice it’s usually because of a girl.

Uchiha Obito, who had never really considered himself the kind of person to do something stupid until right now. This party was simply one of several that he had decided to attend that year and they had only just reached midterms.

Any other time of the year, Obito would have preferred to have just stayed home and watched television. Maybe invite a friend or two over to watch some television with him if he was really feeling up to it. But, unfortunately, he found himself at another one of the big frat parties because his friends had wanted to.

Well… one friend in particular.

And yes, that friend happened to be a girl.

And yes, he liked-

And now, he found himself sitting outside alone in the cold nursing a beer that he doesn’t really like the taste of. Thinks himself more of a whiskey kinda guy than a cheap beer man but he’ll take what he can get.

Anything to help to ease the pain of seeing the girl he likes fawn over someone else.

He takes in a deep breath to help ease the bitter taste of the beer.

The sky is pretty tonight. The stars are bright against the inky black sky and remind Obito of when everything in his life was easier than what it was now. Bring him back to a day when he was just a young boy trying his best to impress a girl he liked.

Well, perhaps not much has changed.

He’s still trying his best to impress a girl but he sure as heck isn’t a young boy and it’s much more than just a girl he likes. It’s a girl he knows for certain that he’s in love with. The girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. And life sure as heck is anything but easy - though he supposes that love has never been an easy thing.

At least it’s never been an easy thing for him.

Perhaps one day, fate will choose to be kinder to him.

“Not your usual scene?” You ask as you take beside Obito on the ground, “don’t come to parties much?”

Perhaps not.

You’re a pretty girl, though not really Obito’s type. He thinks that he’s seen you around school? That the two of you might share a class or two? He’s not really sure.

You’ve got your hair let loose and it frames it in a way that makes you look pretty. Your eyes seem pretty steady, which means you probably haven’t had much to drink (or smoke) and your movements are sharp. Your clothes are a little more reserved than what Obito usually sees girls wearing during parties like this and you have an intelligent demeanor that Obito rarely finds in others.

He laughs, deciding to entertain you in thanks for choosing to accompany him on this lonely evening, “my eighth actually.”

Your eyes gleam with interest, “oh?”

“Unfortunately.”

“So did I just catch you on an off night then, Mr. This is the Eight Party I’ve attended this year?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I’m afraid this is how I usually am at parties.”

“Then why do you come?”

He shrugs in response.

“Well there are worse places you could be,” you lean back your hands behind you as you stare up at the sky, “and worse situations to be in.”

He hums in agreement.

Despite the fact that there’s a respectable distance between Obito and yourself he strangely feels warmer than he had before you were here. At first he thinks it’s because of the warmth from your own body but quickly changes his mind - thinking that it’s more likely that it’s because of the beer in his hand. Alcohol warms the body.

You’re probably warm too though. Probably have a warm smile that would make people’s hearts race too. Obito’s own heart might’ve even fluttered if he wasn’t already so hopelessly in love with someone else.

“So,” Obito begins, “what’re you doing here?”

“Here at the party?” You ask, “or here beside you?”

He shrugs, “both?”

“Well,” you begin, “I’m here at this party because one of my friends didn’t want to come alone and I wanted to have a good time.”

“Not your usual scene then?” Obito asked, the words slipping from his mouth before he can even realise that he’s saying them.

“I suppose not.”

“You suppose?”

“I like to spend all my weekends differently.”

“Not a fan of repetition, I see.”

You nod, “we’re young. Why waste our youth living a mundane life when there’s so much more in this world that we could be doing?”

“Very true.”

“Do you consider yourself a man of pattern, Mister?”

Is Obito a man of pattern? No. He doesn’t think so. He’s not the kind of person to keep on doing the same thing everyday but he supposes that there’s not actually much spontaneity in his life either. And with having to go to school it’s not as if his schedule is very open to doing random things whenever he sees fit.

Perhaps one day when he’s older?

But probably not.

“I think I am.” Obito said.

“Oh?” You lean towards him, your eyes still sparkling as they had done before, “and what makes you think that, Mister?”

“I’ve been stuck in the same place since I was young. Stuck in the same position.” He turns to look at you and smiles, “and it’s Obito. Not mister.”

“Well, Obito, that sounds like a shame but if that’s how you want to live your life then who am I to judge?”

Obito finds himself liking your personality. You’re not so easy going that it seems like you don’t care about anything nor are you so uptight that he feels like he’ll be judged for having his own way of doing things. It doesn’t feel like the forced politeness that he’s used to getting from other people either.

“Hey,” Obito frowns, “you didn’t tell me your name.”

You nod, “I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Obito pouts in response which causes you to laugh. He thinks that you have a pretty laugh. The kind of laugh that lights up a room and gets other people to laugh with you. He also thinks that this is the first time that he’s made a pretty girl like you laugh. Well other than Rin and even then most of the time when Rin laughs it’s usually just a chuckle. Sure, you might be laughing at Obito’s expression rather than a joke he made but he’ll take what he can get.

“Names are quite important things, you know.” You say when you finally managed to have calmed down from your laughing.

“Hm?”

“Names give meaning to everything. A purpose. They’re curses and blessings upon the very essence of who a person is and will be.” You explain, “and, most importantly, they bind us to one another. Create a connection between strangers through a string of familiarity.”

“Well you’re awfully philosophical, aren’t you?”

“I like to consider it as being smart~”

Obito grins, “you’re weird.”

You shrug, “I’ll take it.”

Obito wonders if his life would have been different if he had met someone like you first? No, he takes that back. His life would not have been much different. You’re not the kinda girl that would notice a guy like him and you’re definitely not the kind of girl that settles for a simple kind of life that he wants to live. Among everyone in this world there are brilliant people that stand out above the rest. He imagines that you’re one of those people. That after finishing up school you’ll go on to be the kind of person that people write about rather than the kind that writes about others.

“You should try to have some fun tonight.” You suggest, leaning in towards him.

He leans down towards you in response, grinning playfully, “and how would you suggest I do that?”

“Well for one, drinking something better than this stale beer here would be a good place to start.”

“And where should I go after that?” He asks, his voice laced with a feeling of amusement. He thinks this is probably the most fun he’s had at a party without. And for once, he’s not hanging off of one his friend’s arms like the annoying person he feels like he always is. He wonders if it’s always been this easy to talk to people or if it’s just because he’s talking with someone like you.

Someone that can smile so easily.

Someone that he can joke around without fearing he’ll offend them.

Someone that doesn’t know about all the trauma he went through while he was young.

“Mm,” you hum softly, “maybe then you could go and confess to that girl that you’ve been in love with all this time.”

Obito blushes brightly, “w-what do you mean?”

Have you somehow noticed that he’s been in love with his female best friend all these years now? Was he that obvious about it? Did everyone know except for her? Gosh, this was more embarrassing than he thought it would’ve been. So much more embarrassing than he realised.

“Don’t worry,” you hum, “you’re not that obvious about it and I don’t know who she (or he) is. I guess you can say I’ve got an eye for that sort of thing for people.”

“Oh. I see.”

It’s so much more embarrassing than he realised, yet strangely relieving. Liberating almost.

You nudge his shoulder playfully with your own.

He nudges you back.

“You’ve buried your emotions,” you say suddenly, your eyes seemingly staring into his soul.

He swallows, hoping you don’t notice the change in his demenous, “what?”

At this point, he feels like there isn’t much that he can hide from you. Or maybe he’s never been good at hiding his feelings at all and you’re the only person ballsy enough to say it to his face. Either way it’s both refreshing and freighting all at once. You’re so different from Rin yet somehow so samilair in the same way.

He wonders what would happen if he were to brush your hair back behind your ear.

Would you smile in response? Would you pull away in disgust? Would you run away? Would you push him away and make sure to set a firm boundary between yourself and him like everyone else has done?

At the end, he decides to do nothing of the sort.

You reach into your pocket and pull out a necklace. It looks cheap, like something you could win in a claw machine. You hold the necklace out to him, “here.”

Hesitantly, he accepts the gift.

It looks to be a cheap locket of some sort.

“For me?” He asks.

“If you want it.”

“Will you take it back?”

“No.”

“Then what should I do with it?”

You smile playfully, “you’ll figure it out,” you give him a friendly pat on the back as you get up, “maybe I’ll see you around, Obito,” jumping off the front porch before making your way to the salmon haired boy that called you over earlier. His heart flutters in a strange kinda way as he watches you disappear off into the distance.

The salmon haired boy wraps an arm around you before the two of you begin walking off into the distance.

“Who was that, Obito?” Rin asks as she sits where you had been sitting moments ago.

Obito watches you disappear down the street laughing at something the salmon haired boy whispers into your ear, his stomach twisting into knots. He thinks that tonight is going to be something he remembers forever. That you’ll be someone he remembers forever - even if he doesn’t know your name. It’s been so long since he connected to someone like how he connected with you and he bets that it’s going to be a long while before he connects with someone again. Well, he thinks, at least he got to know you now.

Eventually, he answers, “just a girl I know from school.”

He stares at the cheap locket in his hand.

He wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to speak to you again?

Probably not.

Fall in love when you’re happy.

---

Someone You Loved Featuring: The Journalist

Uchiha Obito wraps his jacket around himself tightly as he stares up at the night sky above him. Sure, it was summer but the season of autumn was quickly approaching and the nights were getting colder.

Usually Obito would never go outside, much less on a night like this, but a few of his friends that he hadn’t seen in a while had been insistent that they meet up. It was rare for the four of them to actually be in the same place around the same time and even rarer that they all had a moment to spare.

They had considered going to a bar but something like this seemed a little simpler.

A lot easier.

If only Obito remembered that he hated the cold.

Oh well.

It’s a simple sacrifice for him to make anyways.

“Oh yeah, no,” Obito shakes his head as he tunes back into the conversation that his friends were having, “I haven’t gotten the chance to go fishing this year yet. I’ve been pretty busy with work.” Obito tries his best to give an apologetic look as his friends listen to his explanation.

Truthfully speaking, Obito has never actually been a fan of fishing. Sure he was decent at the skill. Had been forced to go on plenty of trips with his grandfather when he was younger but he never really enjoyed the sport. He knew enough to hold his own in conversation but not much when compared to his two friends. He just hoped that neither of them would ever actually realise that he barely had an idea what he was talking about.

Tokito Muichiro, a shorter man with long dark hair, nods, “understandable. You can’t always make time for hobbies.” Muichiro is wearing a lot less than Obito in terms of clothing but seems less affected by the weather as he wears a blank look on his face.

Many had always called Muichiro expressionless and perhaps even emotionless but Obito thought the man made up for his lack of involvement with his blunt and direct speaking - which then was also made up for with his subtle way of expressing his affection. Small acts of service instead of large declarations of his feelings.

The exact kinda person that Obito found himself getting along with best.

Second only to the flustered yet charming behaviour of Diez Drake.

Drake was a tall ginger haired man with a bold and domineering presence on the outside. He was unsuspectingly lumbering though and easily embarrassed. Wore his heart on his sleeve and never hesitated to point out when he thought that something was wrong. Obito liked that he didn’t have to jump through hoops to understand what he was trying to say or how he felt, certain that he would simply be able to read it by what was on the man’s face.

Drake hums thoughtfully in response to Muichiro’s words, “do you enjoy what you do for work now? I heard you recently got promoted from writer to editor.” Drake, like Muichiro, seemed unaffected by the cold of the night air. Dressed in something simple that barely covers him up entirely. Obito chalks up his warmth to all that muscle he’s put on. It probably does well to keep in heat.

Obito nods, “yeah.” silently thankful that the conversation topic had shifted. He really could only bear so long talking about fishing before he finally gave away how much he didn’t care about the topic. It wasn’t exactly that he hated fishing and he certainly didn’t feel pressured to like it from either Drake or Muichiro it’s just that it had been so long since they had talked about fishing that it would be weird for him to suddenly declare that he didn’t like it.

Too far gone for him to turn back now.

It would be like ripping out one of the staples of their friendship.

“Is it easier?” Muichiro asked.

“Some parts,” Obito explains, “while I don’t have to put in as much work on the field and have to do as much work running around like a chicken with my head cut off, there's a lot more management of people that I have to do. Honestly, sometimes I miss writing articles.”

Drake chuckles, “at least you get to work from home.”

Obito smiles in response, “true.”

The three men share a smile. Obito had been worried that their conversations would feel awkward and stilted after a few years of only talking online but they immediately fell back into the warm camaraderie that they had before.

It was nice for Obito. To remember that he had a group of people that cared about him outside of all the pain and trauma he had to go through when he was younger. Felt good to know that he was still capable of making connections to people other than the ones he had grown up with from childhood.

“Are you happy?” You ask suddenly.

The three men turn to look at you.

You.

You’re dressed rather prettily today, Obito thinks. Though more often than not he thinks that you’re pretty. Whether your hair is done up or let down. Whether you’ve decided to wear something light and breezy or dark and warm. He thinks it must have something to do with those eyes. Those bright and brilliant eyes that seem to stare into his very soul itself. Or, more likely, it’s your magnetic personality that pulls people in without you having to do anything at all.

Obito bets that you’re cold. You’re not dressed as cool as Drake or Muichiro but you aren’t wearing a large trench coat like Obito. Your clothing is somewhere in between as you hold your arms and legs tight together.

“Are you happy with where you are in life?” You clarify.

You’d been quiet most of the conversation so it surprises Obito that you’ve finally decided to speak. Strangely, Obito can’t remember if you’ve always been a quiet person or a loud one. He obviously knows how you act around him -you’re friends- but strangely he can’t seem to remember just exactly how you are.

He supposes that you’ve always been that way though.

Keeping a certain kind of ambit between yourself and everyone else.

“Yeah,” Obito nods, “I’d say so.”

Your expression brightens at that as you softly reply, “that’s good.” You turn to Drake, “and are you happy?”

The ginger haired man nods, “yeah. I reckon I’m happy with where I am in life.”

“And how are you Muichiro?”

The quiet man smiles and his eyes soften, “good.”

Obito’s heart starts to beat quickly as he watches you warmly. No matter how many years it’s been he thinks that you’ll always have such an effect on him. You’re not the first girl he’s ever loved and doubts you’ll be the last but he likes to think that you were his favourite. The one he would have liked things to have worked out with the most. But he knows, perhaps better than most, that that was never the kind of life that you were meant to live. That you deserved, more than anyone else, to be free. That, perhaps, you were best loved from a distance.

Drake speaks up, a teasing lit to his voice, “you seem awfully happy to hear that he’s doing well.”

“Of course I’d be happy,” you smile fondly, in a way that Drake doesn’t remember you ever doing before, “who wouldn’t be happy when they hear that the people they care about are happy?”

In truth, Obito is surprised at your words. Sure, he obviously knows that you’ve always cared about them but to hear you make such a… bold declaration is almost dizzying. It makes his heart start to beat erratically and his stomach twists in knots. It feels almost foreign to hear you make such a declaration in the first place. Not wrong, per say, but something close to it. Like you’re speaking a tongue that isn’t your own.

Muichiro hums approvingly as he readjusts your jacket so it doesn't fall off your chair, “good point.”

“I do always tend to make good points, don’t I?” You say playfully.

Obito has to laugh in response.

Contrary to what everyone else might say, you usually do. It’s just that your more eccentric and childish personality makes it more fun to say that you don’t. Obito likes to think that you’ve always taken the teasing in stride. That you let the other three poke and prod at you because you know it makes them happy. And it’s not as if they ever actually mean it anyways.

“You know, speaking of work,” Obito begins, “I heard that you have another collection of photos that you’re releasing this year.”

Drake nudges you playfully, “and here I thought you said you were done with releasing multiple collections in a single year after you did ours.”

Obito finds himself surprised when you simply smile in response instead of laughin and making a stupid joke as you used to do.

“You can’t decide when inspiration hits.” Muichiro says, filling the silence.

You give your fellow artist a thankful look.

Obito is almost a little jealous.

Okay, that’s a lie. He is jealous. He’s very familiar with jealousy whether it comes from his unrequited first love or this strange thing he has with you.

It’s always been like that with you though. Stolen looks and softened eyes. A gentle way of saying someone’s name and a whisper in the night when you think that no one else can hear. It’s how it’s always been with Obito too. A choked down emotion because he’s scared that showing too much emotion will scare other people away. That it’ll make him someone who others don’t like. That it’ll leave him all alone the same way it had when he was younger.

It’s not healthy. Obito knows that. But it’s hard to change the way you are when you’ve lived like that for three decades. He’ll try to change, one day. But for now he allows his heart to do that strange pang thing as he looks aways and tries his best to think about something else.

“So, who’s your latest Muse?” Obito asked curiously.

“The Athlete.”

Muichiro raises a brow, “no name?”

“I gave you the name that matters.”

Drake rolls his eyes, but Obito spots the fond smile on his face, “importance is all a matter of perspective. It’s relative.”

“When did you become so introspective, Drake?” Obito teased.

Drake blushes, “hey! I’ve always been introspective. Just because I’m not some big hotshot journalist like you doesn’t mean I don’t have a few years of wisdom on me.”

“You sure?” Muichiro teased, joining in.

“Hey!”

Muichiro and Drake bicker playfully while Obito turns his attention back to you. You’re staring off into the distance rather than enjoying the playful banter.

“Are you happy?” Obito asks, “happy with where you are in life?”

“I lived a good life,” you say softly, lying down and reaching a hand up towards the stars, “I got to live such a carefree and open life. Got to do so many things that other people never get the chance to and in such a short amount of time. Most importantly though, I got to meet so many special people.”

Obito blushes.

At the moment, he’s much too enamoured with your words to actually realise what you're saying. And when he eventually does realise it, it’s too late for him to question you about it. And even after that moment, when he’s long past the moment of being able to make a change, does he finally come to understand what it is that you might’ve meant.

And he both hates and loves that about you.

Like Drake, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Your face, giving away more than your words ever will. And like Muichiro, you’re blunt. Not afraid to speak your mind. But, there, you’re also a little like him. Never reveal all of what someone else wants you to. Scared.

Obito watches you curiously, as you pull out a silver compact from your pocket. It’s the same one that you’ve always carried around, he thinks. It kind of matches that silver locket you gave to him so many years ago. You hold it close to your chest the same way someone might hold a secret from the world. You close your eyes before looking up to the stars once again.

“Would you do it again differently if you had the chance?” Obito asked as he took a seat beside you, similar to how you had done all those years before; back when he was but a love sick boy and you an artistic genius waiting to be realised by the world.

“Oh, most definitely.”

Drake raises a brow, clearly surprised by your answer, as he takes a seat on your other side, “really?”

“Yes.”

Muichiro laughs softly, taking a seat in front of you, “what would you do differently?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’d want everything that I didn’t have in this life. Every choice we make requires sacrifice. Giving up one thing in order to obtain another. And even when we choose nothing we still lose something. So I’d want everything that I gave up in this life in another.”

“You know,” Obito pokes your side playfully, “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”

You grin playfully, “who wants to live the same life over?”

“Plenty of people, I imagine.” Obito replied.

“Hm,” you hum softly to yourself as your eyes scan over the faces of the three men that had been your friends for nearly half a decade now, “perhaps my answer would be different if I had loved everyone else the way I should have rather than the way I wanted to.”

Fall in love when you’re confused.

---

Orange Dreams

Sometimes, dreams are unfinished thoughts that our subconscious attempts to complete.

And other times, they’re the parts of us we had to leave behind. Incomplete and unfulfilled.

---

“Yeah, just follow my lead, okay?” You smile softly as you hold your hand out to Uchiha Obito.

Obito stares at you for a moment before finally, hesitantly, taking your hand.

He swallows deeply.

You’ve pushed your furniture to the side. The couches directly up against one wall and the dining table to the other. To top it off you’ve put the chairs on the dining table itself like how students stack their chairs in elementary school to make more space in your small apartment so that you can teach Obito how to dance.

A familiar song plays in the background of your apartment. It’s a little on the slower side of things and sounds awfully familiar to Obito, despite him being unable to name the melody.

It’s more melancholy than it is upbeat, though Obito accuses that that’s how most songs meant for slow dancing are played.

“Are you sure?” He asks once again as you place your hand on his waist.

“Trust me,” you smile playfully, “this definitely isn’t the first time I’ve taught someone how to dance and most certainly isn’t the first time I’ve danced before.”

“But what if I step on your toes?”

You laugh softly, “trust me, I’ll be okay.”

He swallows, “alright. If you say so. Just don’t get mad if I end up stomping on your feet accidently.”

You smile fondly, “only for you~”

He takes your other hand as you begin to lead him in a series of steps that Obito thinks make up the dance. At least once a year Obito’s family holds a big banquet of sorts. Usually about commemorating how great they are or at least something along those lines. It’s usually a pointless venture that Obito always goes out of his way to avoid - which he unfortunately was unable to find a way out of this year.

His grandfather, who had always paid special attention to Obito, had made it a point to make sure that Obito would be forced to attend. Something about making sure that all the money he had put into Obito’s education wasn’t going to waste and another thing about commemorating his big promotion.

Obito believed neither, though definitely leaned more towards the former of the two statements.

But regardless of how he felt, this was going to end up being one of the family events that he wouldn’t be able to avoid no matter what corner of the earth he fled to. Without a doubt, his elderly grandfather would find out where he was and drag him by the ear as if he were a little kid.

Which is how Obito found himself here, in your small studio apartment attempting to learn the proper way to waltz. Truthfully, Obito had no intentions to dance. His grandfather could force him to be there but he most certainly couldn’t force Obito to dance. It was just that when you heard about the dance and subsequently Obito’s inability to dance you had volunteered to teach him. And you had looked so excited that Obito couldn’t find it in himself to turn your offer down.

“How do you know when to move and when to stop?” Obito asks.

“You just sorta have to go with the beat of the music,” you explain, “every song has a flow. You just have to tap into that flow, you know?”

Obito nods.

You look up at him before raising a brow, “you don’t get it, do you?”

“I don’t.” Obito admits.

You laugh softly, “here, let me help you. This song has a four by four beat. The melody usually gives a few hints for the beat too. First look for a repetitive part of the melody and then that’s where you can begin your count.”

You pull him towards you as you begin to move once again.

“One, and two, and three, and four,” you say, taking a step with each number you count, “one, and two, and three, and four.”

Obito lets you drag him around the room in what feels like a sporadic fashion as you continue to count the beats of the song.

He finds a smile creeping on his face as he watches you attempt to teach him how to dance. He thinks you look absolutely adorable with your face scrunched up as you try your best to keep up with the beats of the music. Despite never dancing a single day in his life Obito can tell that you aren’t too good at dancing like this either. That you’re mostly flying by the seat of your pants in an attempt to help him which only serves to fuel his smile that he’s been trying his best to hold back.

You stop counting while continuing to lead Obito in the steps of the dance.

The music feels so much louder than it had before the two of you had first begun dancing. Reminds Obito of a dream that he had one day but can’t quite remember anymore. Reminiscent of that memory he keeps reaching out for in the breeches of his mind but can never quite grasp. A memory of a dream that slips from your mind in the morning.

It’s more of a nostalgic feeling than anything else.

Reminds him of a childhood he doesn’t remember having.

A girl’s smile.

His hand in yours.

The beating of a heart.

Slowly, you let Obito try and take control. The repetitive movements are easy for him to replicate. Simple and almost second nature to him at this moment. Though, Obito has always found it easier to learn things that involve physical movement over things that require more of a mental prowess.

He thinks that this is honestly probably enough for him to know the basics if he is forced to take to the dance floor. Thinks that maybe he might invite one of the now married girls he attended classes with back when they were young in order to show that he’s being polite but not interested in getting married yet. Rin, his childhood friend, would be the ideal partner. Not only would she understand his lack of skill in dance but she would also understand that there would no longer be any romantic implications when it came to him.

If there was anyone that he would have wanted to dance at during that banquet (made only to inflate over bloated egos) it would have been you. You make this strange process for him feel almost fun. Exciting. Keeping it simple yet still leaving him second guess what might come next; though that might just be because you’re a little clumsy.

Obito had considered asking you to attend with him but ultimately ended up not asking you at all. That wasn’t the kind of world he wanted to drag you into. Not the kind of people he thought you should know. Besides, in all truth, Obito really just didn’t want other people to get the chance to look at you the way he did. Wanted to keep you to himself, if just for a little while longer.

Eventually, the song playing ends and the track switches to something much more upbeat and modern. It’s almost, Obito dares to say, vulgar. It’s a stark constant in both genre and tempo to what had been playing before that Obito has to cover his mouth lest break out into a bout of laughter and giggles.

Okay, he still laughs a little. But it’s hard not to when your cheeks are hot with embarrassment and you’re scrambling to switch the song to something more tame.

Obito’s never been one to judge someone else’s taste in music but he can’t help but find amusement from yours. The contrast between the song and the person you like to display is so stark that Obito would have believed you that it was autoplayed if not for the fact that you had jumped up so quickly to change the song as if you already knew the contents of it.

Who would have thought that someone as sweet as you would like a song like that~

He can’t help himself as he walks over to you and rests his head on your shoulder from behind, “so you like whips and chains or are you just experimenting?”

“Hm?”

“Because I would totally be down.”

“Obito!” You exclaim, attempting to turn around.

He holds you down with his weight, his arms keeping you from escaping his grasp. He smiles coyly, “(Y/n).”

“You’re such a tease.” You grumbled.

“Am I?” He asked, his voice laced with amusement.

“In every sense of the word.”

“Really? Because I’ve always considered it to be more the other way around.” He chuckles deeply, “how does it feel now that the shoes’ on the other foot?”

You grumble in response, “you’re mean.”

“Only for you~”

You roll your eyes, recognizing your own words.

Your response brings a smile to Obito’s face.

You really are such a pretty girl, he thinks. Perhaps not the kind of girl he would’ve noticed immediately but most certainly the kind of girl that he can’t look away from. He finds almost everything about you cute, from your reactions to his teasing to the way you say his name. Slightly accented giving away to the fact that you’re not originally from the same place that he is.

Obito had never cared much to make friends with other people when he was young. Most of the other kids had teased him because of his initial clumsy and embarrassed nature and then had switched over to ignoring him after the accident.

The only two that hadn’t ever really ignored him were his two friends and even they had only originally tried to get along with him because they were in the same group. Their school would group the children in groups of three for all different group projects in hopes of teaching proper camaraderie and teamwork amongst one another. It would hopefully foster good relationships between the different clans and encourage them to look for relationships outside of their comfort zone.

Personally, Obito didn’t think it fostered much friendship between people outside of their designated groups but he never cared enough to make a comment about it. Their school was kind of already set in their ways. And besides, it was what brought him his two best friends in what likely would have been a lonely childhood.

And then there was you.

The girl that had approached him first and made talking with him seem so easy. And then you brought a small group of friends into his life, saying something about how all of them could relate over having complicated childhoods. Not that you ever divulged any of the specific information about the other two but Obito knew that if they wanted him to know they would tell him on their own.

It just… kind of felt nice knowing that there were other people that could understand what he was going through and not judge him for it.

“So uh,” you clear your throat, “do you think that you could lead the dance on your own?”

“Yeah,” Obito nods, “wanna try?”

He finally allows you to slop from his grasp but still keeps you within reach as he has his arms to either side of you as he leans against the edge of the dining room table that you’ve pushed to the corner of the room.

“Yes,” you nod, your cheeks flushed, “we could try.”

Gently, Obito takes your hand in his own and wraps the other around your waist as he leads you to the middle of the room.

“Wait, Obito! I haven’t put the music on!”

He chuckles, not letting you out of his grasp, “then sing for me.”

You roll your eyes but smile fondly, “you’ll be the death of me.”

“Don’t worry,” he smiles in response, “you’ll be fine. You have me with you.”

“Oh?” You raise a brow as you allow him to lead you in the dance, “and will you save me from all these horrible jokes you keep making?”

“No promises.”

You laugh softly, “what a horrible answer!”

“Really?” He raises an eyebrow playfully, “and here I was thinking that girls liked honest guys. Was I mistaken? Misinformed? Mislead?”

“Any more synonyms in that brain of yours?”

He grins, “misguided. Deluded. Deceived. Lead astray. Hoodwinked. Lied to. Fooled.”

“Well, aren’t you smart.”

“Only for you~”

You smack his shoulder lightly, “how long are you going to keep repeating that?”

“For as long as I want.”

“Well then, I’ll hold you to it.” You exclaim playfully, “the next time you say them to a pretty girl you better remember to quote me. You’re basically stealing my intellectual property, you know.”

The next girl.

Obito’s heart pangs heavily.

Though, he supposes he should have already seen this coming from the beginning.

You never were the kind of girl that settled down were you.

Fall in love when you’re sad.

[reneesbooks]

Damn I really feel you on that one Stephanie Meyer book with the parasitic aliens, like that premise was so interesting, why did she have to focus on the stupid love triangle?!

ok here’s the thing. i could fix her

edit: i'm putting this post under a cut bc it got SO LONG lmao. read at your own risk it's messy and obsessive and a bit unhinged

the movie got so close in some ways and fucking missed in so many others. on the one hand, ian in the movie was imo a lot more likeable than he was in the book. I’m attributing this to less dialogue written directly by stephanie meyer and the actor's face. on the other hand. jared was awful. movie did not fix him even a bit. only thing they fixed was the age gap but not even that was explicitly addressed in the movie. it was just assumed bc the actors looked similarly aged

I should mention at this point that I haven’t actually read the book in a few years but I read it so many times at age 13-14 that it was an intensely formative experience despite being a generally terrible book. I could still probably quote entire passages from memory. I’ve seen the movie definitely more than 50 times, including in theaters w my mom the week it came out. I watched it last week just for something to play in the background while I crocheted. I can and will 1000% quote along with the movie. fucking brain parasite book got me I guess

the book delves so deeply into the genuinely fascinating world building that tbh has influenced me to this day in terms of depth and creativity. that’s where the movie set itself up to fail bc the ONLY redeeming quality of the book was the world building. its perfect for a tv show so that there is time to explore what it’s like for Melanie to live among the souls instead of focusing exclusively on wanderers time among the humans.

ok the love triangle. here's the thing. it didn't have to be Like That. BUT. i remember my edition when i was younger (that has since disappeared but i have a new one on the way bc i miss my stupid parasite book) had a bonus chapter or smth from melanie's perspective after she wakes up without wanderer in her head for the first time and runs into ian and they both have this moment where they reach for each other and there is that moment of horror on ian's part when he realizes that she is not wanda and melanie being so used to wanda reaching for him that she doesn't realize that her body is doing it automatically. and it was just so interesting to think about how that duality affected them and i think the movie kind of tried to do that with the conversation that ian and wanda have on the cliffs but it just didn't make it happen in the right way. so like. having the love stories there are important for why wanda is even willing to learn to be human but the focus on them in the movie and its general failure to properly execute the most interesting parts of them are what kneecapped it imo.

anyway getting back to why despite that the love triangle is literally the least interesting part of this book. starting with the thing that drives me the most up the wall. the fact that the movie didn't include walt at all and glossed over wes's death makes me chew drywall bc that plotline made me SOB. wanda's time sitting at walt's bedside and comforting him through his illness is one of the things that really teaches her about the gentleness of humanity despite their perceived cruelty, and what makes much of the humans actually start to trust her. they see how she treats walt and realize that she has a huge heart and capacity for kindness. so when jared gets mad bc the seeker looking for her has caused problems, and she has the whole compound backing her up anyway, it actually has some weight to it. the movie flattened wanda and her relationships to the others so much it's so disappointing!! she feels grief in a way that's different from how she's ever experienced it before, despite knowing and understanding grief from her previous lives. she is devastated and forever changed by walt's death, and similarly by wes's. i don't remember exactly if he had a partner in the book but i think he did so wanda also had that experience of seeing his death devastate someone else so completely (and for her to be able to connect that to how jared feels about her being in melanie's body). so when she asks doc to let her die at the end, it's go so much more significance because she specifically asks to be buried WITH walt and wes!! she finds peace with death and understands it and wants to be with the people who taught her about grief and love and that just. i'm so unhinged about it. and it wasn't in the movie. chewing drywall.

this isn't like. a big thing. but it's forever a little disappointing to me that it wasn't in the movie either. bc the movie went a more "ethereal being made of light" direction for what the souls' actual bodies look like instead of the book's "segmented body with thin tendrils that attach to the brain of the host" description. this matters to me for a sad reason and a funny one. the sad reason is because when wanda sees the souls that the humans tried to cut out, she notes based on the vestigial feelers of one of the dead souls that it was a baby. horrible and sad detail that makes that scene 100 times worse. the funny reason is because since the humans know what the souls look like for the above sad reason, they refer to them as worms. which essentially leads to them calling ian a worm fucker and that's hilarious on a lot of levels the least of which being that it's true. like while melanie and jared and jamie go looking for a new body for wanda he literally doesn't care what it looks like and just sits holding her containment tank the entire time. worm fucker and proud of it good for him

i could write a whole other essay on the worldbuilding but i don't have my copy yet (and all the library copies are checked out who ARE y'all who else has read this book???) and i can't remember enough of it to really get into it. but wanderer's job was to be a teacher because she'd been to almost all the different planets (hence her name) so there were some glimpses of the fascinating universe of this world. the stories that she tells about the other planets?? unparalleled. wanderer tells this story about an ethical dilemma (among parasitic aliens lmao) because their host species on one planet burns another alive for its food source BUT they had recently discovered that the food source species was also sapient and intelligent so they were trying to figure out a way to handle the situation. that entire thing could be more interesting than the love triangle but instead it was like. a maximum of two pages about that planet and a one-off appearance from another soul that used to live there at the very end of the book. wanda tells the people at the compound about the underwater planet, and the one with the giant blind flying creatures that they call the Bats, and she mourns using the ritual from that species after the whole seeing the corpses incident. all of this gone completely to waste and for what!! for what stephanie!!!

another funny thing that i think might be better left in the book--when they take the seeker out in the book the human that was in there in the first place is so nasty and awful that everyone is lowkey mad at wanda for not just letting them kill her. top tier comedy ngl

ugh i also remember a scene where wanda is going on the long supply trips and sees a couple of souls with a human child who isn't occupied and is like. huh. that could be really indicative of a beautiful direction for humanity to go. could souls and humans live in peace in a real way? and then it's never really addressed again bc sexy feelings about two men oohhhh

so. is she fixable?

yes. i could fix her. a tv adaptation is what she needs. bc then there's actually time to delve into the thoughts and feelings of melanie and wanderer (and you could do that really well if you made a visualization of their shared mindspace--the book talks about how they put up walls against each other, and how they can block each other out or grab at control) as well as the worldbuilding and ethical questions. i have a whole three-season plan for fixing her so buckle up.

season one starts with wanderer waking up in melanie's body and the first half explores their time as a uni professor and the seeker's insistence on trying to find the human resistance through melanie's memories. this is where we really get a chance to see wanda's perspective--not because she's right, but because it's interesting. she is a huge pacifist and is horrified by violence, whereas melanie is used to using violence to get what she needs and tends to jump directly to it as a solution. so before they run off to the desert, when the seeker is still constantly checking up on her, as wanda gets more annoyed, melanie keeps suggesting that they kill her, and wanda has a harder and harder time holding her back. finally at the midpoint, wanda snaps and attacks the seeker, not because melanie made her do it, but because she's finally reaching that point in her journey towards humanity. and of course everybody blames it on melanie and they have to run because they're going to be separated.

then the second half of the season starts with the wandering through the desert. btw. book jeb my beloved. unhinged grandpa didn't get to be nearly as unhinged in the movie. the second half of the season is wanda acclimating to the human environment. i am of the opinion that romance should not happen until the second season at LEAST. obv melanie is pining for jared and wanda is dealing w that but it's not a romance. she doesn't love jared she's just comforting her dramatic roommate. maybe ian is starting to show interest in wanda but she hasn't noticed yet because she's still getting used to being human. season one ends with walt's death, since that's one of wanda's biggest turning points.

so season two opens with wanda understanding humanity a little better. and now she notices that ian likes her. melanie rightfully puts up a fuss about this (because it's her fucking body, steph meyer why did you almost make a convincing bodily autonomy argument and then fall short you almost had it--) and we can have that drama still while setting it up against the backdrop of wanda's journey to understanding humanity and ultimately becoming human herself. this is the first half of the season, and then there is the turning point--discovering that they've been trying to cut out the souls even as she lives among them. this is her major fracture with ian and is when she realizes that she can actually push melanie out of her head entirely and has to scramble to get her back. season midpoint cliffhanger is melanie being gone. and that finally brings jared around about her when he sees how hard she works to get melanie back and help jamie. so the second half of the season starts with healing jamie and how jared being ok with her changes the dynamic. now she's going out on raids, seeing how humanity and souls can live together, starting to come around to being in love with ian maybe, and generally settling into a comfortable existence. and this is when the seeker comes back into the picture at the end of season two, killing wes and being captured by the humans.

and season three. where it all comes together. the seeker represents the biggest obstacle to humanity and souls living in harmony--she is a mirror and a foil to wanda and melanie, two people too stubborn to let the other take over, unable to coexist. when she's captured by the humans, they want to kill her and her host, forcing wanda to come face-to-face with what she hasn't wanted to admit--she has to tell the humans how to remove a soul from a body. and in doing so she has to admit that she's been selfish and cruel by not telling them before. because by now they've more than proven that they can accept her kind under the right circumstances. so she's able to lay that out with the seeker and the first half of the season shows them starting to do it--to take souls out of humans and send them to different planets. the book does so many interesting things with this, showing how some people come back right away, some come back very slowly, some don't come back at all. there's a lot of material to work with (looking at you jodi and kyle and sunny) but eventually we get to the midpoint which is wanda asking doc to remove her and bury her with wes and walt. and then he does.

so the second half of the third season begins with melanie alone. and for the first time ever we don't hear from wanda at all. because she's in a cryotank and unable to have thoughts. so now we have what didn't get a chance to be really explored by the book--the aftermath of wanda's removal and the ethical debate of violating her wishes to put her in another body as well as the fact that when they do put her in one, it's one of the people who never woke up. it starts to get fuzzy here bc there's less original material to work with (and what is there is...not great the body they find for wanda is a 17 year old and ian is like 27 throwing up) and because there are so many directions to go after the book ends-- they find other human groups like they do in the book that also have a soul like her living among them, they try to work with the soul government to reach an agreement for peace, etc etc etc--and they're all so interesting! but the book ends because the love triangle has been resolved and it just doesn't address any of that. shaking steph by the shoulders and screaming

anyway the point of all of this is that this book and movie have been living rent free in my head for over a decade and i would simply like to make the good version of it that lives in my head real.

tldr i could fix her. steph meyer wya.

[queenburd]

hmm i am also thinkin abt the curator line “they need each other” …. something something, can a narrator survive without his stanley? just like a human can’t survive without food/water.. quotes in the skip button ending:

“One single thing I need -…- is to know that someone else is taking it in.”

“When you press that button,… the emptiness folds itself outward in between the two of us, and I am suspended in its unyielding quietness. I can feel the edges of my reality curdling inward and decaying. I can tell that I am becoming less and less real.”

so in the same way.. i assume that all of those narrators banding together would provide some kind of support, but. they’re all so busy trying to be heard, they don’t actually listen to each other. it’s just a big game of giving water to the man starved of food. each others’ company is enough to sustain, but it won’t be for forever.

which is why they go after stan’s narrator; they’re not 100% certain what he’s been doing, but surely he’s hoarding all of these stanleys to himself, right? why would he not hold onto them? where is he hiding them?

but there are some narrators too, that read the room and say “what the hell. the only people here selfish enough to hoard stanleys are the ones suggesting this.” and they form their own coalition which isn’t an echo chamber. they all spent their parables making assumptions on themselves and on their stanleys. this was cruel, yes, and basically a death sentence, but they recognize the self-loathing faster than a counselor in the foster care system. and some of them are still in denial about how they treated their stanleys. but they all recognize that We Need To Hear This Guy Out.

and obviously there’s a lot of infighting from both groups. it’s a high-stress situation, who wouldn’t be stressed out by the end of their life suddenly being a thing that is real and also is approaching rapidly. and there are plenty that just give up and let themselves melt away out of guilt or hopelessness.

so the hate group finally gets this guy. and he gives 0 fucks about them. which is frustrating since they did their best to strip him of his power, but he’s been heard by so many stanleys and they haven’t, so they’re still substantially weaker than him.

the sensible group of narrators aren’t able to even get a look at him. and so they’re busy scheming, but less than the hate group. so when the stanleys come to save the narrator, they notice sooner and they make a break for it. “there’s a lot to discuss, but first we want to help save your narrator.” “there isn’t much time before the others notice.” “we’re trying to hide your presence as long as possible.” “do what you do best—tune them out when they want you to listen.” “yes and that punch was deserved. i deserved that.”

the stanleys are suspicious. who are these fuckers with feelings and what have you done to our original narrators lol???? but they’re willing to go with it. how else would they have escaped their parables without trusting an unexpected offer for help?

you said you didn’t have a lot of thoughts but luckily i did ❤️ i might write smth about this au or the original au. still deciding. but my drafts folder is still overflowing so i probably won’t start until there’s a little more stanley stuff fleshed out. ok it’s my bedtime

THE PUBLIC NEEDS TO SEE THIS. I HAVE LITTLE TO ADD TO THIS GEM other than I have genuinely begun to wonder if any of the narrators, having seen this fellow, who theyve been trying to BREAK, just refusing to be broken, begin to.... wonder.

because again, and again, he just keeps telling them "you didn't take care of him. he only had you and you only had him and YOU DIDNT TAKE CARE OF HIM." and he's relentless.

"I dont get to be with my Stanley either, but god, at least in the time I had him I appreciated him. Our story was supposed to be about him finding happiness, and you all forgot that."

I absolutely can see some of them, who werent the cruel ones but were more invested in their story and in their art, starting to wonder "....was he right? did I forget why this was so important? did I--"

YOU HAVE SOMETHING HERE.

[hrokkall]

luke carder ?

@tasmanianstripes

My favorite cringe ass YouTuber

Favorite thing about them: This is going to be explained very poorly but I like how Luke is so blatantly a joke character who still manages to become very sympathetic the moment you learn more about him. He was supposed to be just a snobby annoying guy who brings his camera everywhere for content but his actor accidentally ended up making him too likable (and I’m genuinely glad he did) which really made the ending hit. He’s just some guy but he’s some guy who was trying to live on in his sister’s memory and now he has no one to live on for him. And he’s also a dogshit YouTuber. These two trains of thought exist simultaneously.

Least favorite thing about them: I love Luke but holy shit his camera dies at the worst times. I love looting through your footage as much as the next guy but I was in the middle of something (granted his battery is probably being sapped by Inscryption proximity but still).

Favorite line: I quote “Wow. Great video.” on a near-daily basis so that one’s my actual favorite, but I also love the lines he has when you beat Leshy the first time without the film roll and continue playing act 1. (Only posting this one but he has others like “Ugh, I’m so sick of this boss.” and an excited “Woo!” when you beat Leshy a second time)

(Bonus points to all the times he—fairly—responds to something with “What the fuck.” It makes me laugh if for no other reason than no one else in the game properly swears except for him).

brOTP: Luke and the Scrybes just because “completely normal guy placed amid the Weirdest People Imaginable” is a hilarious trope.

OTP: I honestly don’t ship Luke with anyone. I’ve joked about him accidentally making Inscryption into a dating sim before but that’s entirely a shitpost and (as stated prior) would just end in them all being buddies.

nOTP: Again I really don’t think there’s any ships I would actively say “no” to with Luke. Even if they’re not my thing personally I don’t actively hate any ships I’ve seen (then again I haven’t seen many).

Random headcanon: The elk-book in the background of his desktop setup is a card binder.

On a completely different note, I’d like to think that anyone who comes in long contact with Inscryption experiences (small) physical changes (as well as the obvious psychological damage) to sort of cement its presence as a “cursed object”. Nothing really happens to Luke because he only had the game for a few days. Kaycee, however—

Unpopular opinion: Are there any unpopular opinions to be had about Luke?? I guess some people don’t like him and think he ruins immersion. I’m a Luke fan in that case, I’ll stay solid on that.

Song I associate with them: I was going to take the piss and put something by Weezer but my de-facto Luke song is BAD LUCK! by Jhariah. Bonus points though to Making Up Words by Bug Hunter which is also very Luke (albeit more surface-level).

Favorite picture of them: Luke has a lot of fantastic expressions, but I’ll tentatively say this one.

[random-writerings]

Touch Me (Til I Find Myself) ~ Chapter 4

Word Count: 3.9k

Masterlist // AO3

Kris pulled her hood up as she approached some Kree guards. Keeping her head down, she slipped past them unnoticed.

She was scouting the other floors looking for Daisy while the others went back to work at Grill’s. So far, she hadn’t seen her friend and she was getting more worried as time went on. But Mack was checking the docking bays and Yo-Yo was covering Level Ten so maybe they would have better news.

She hadn’t seen Deke anywhere either, which was also concerning. She prayed that he had just slunk off back to his gallery. Hopefully, he wasn’t up to something.

She turned to face the wall, pretending to inspect the pipes as another pair of Kree passed her by. She was thankful that Tess had helped them blend in, even if the clothes did stink a little bit. The Kree hadn’t bothered to stop her as she wandered about, assuming that she was a Lighthouse civilian. But still, her luck could always run out. Tess had warned her that they sometimes did random Metric inspections.

Seeing as this floor was swarming with Kree, Kris got back in the lift and went down to Level Ten to report to the others.

When she got there, she spotted Coulson and May outside Grill’s.

“Hey,” she greeted them.

“Please tell us you have some good news.” Coulson sounded defeated.

“Unfortunately not. Nothing from Mack and Yo-Yo either, huh?”

“No sign of her,” May confirmed her suspicions. 

Kris pursed her lips and inhaled sharply. “Great.” 

“Got a new lead, though.” Coulson tried to sound upbeat. “Level Thirty-Five is full of Kree tech. Could help us survive on the surface.”

“And it probably has weapons,” Kris mused. “I’ll bet it’s a restricted floor though. No humans allowed.”

“We’ve got that covered.” Coulson smirked. 

~~~

The three of them waited by the lift, keeping an eye out for Deke. If anyone could sneak them onto a floor they weren’t supposed to be on, it was him.

The elevator doors opened and Deke walked out, eating an apple. Coulson grabbed his arm, leading him to a quieter section of the corridor.

“Hey, come on,” Deke protested.

“Sorry. We need to talk,” Coulson replied, no apology in his voice at all.

“‘Say, Deke, how are you doing? You look really good. Can we have a word?’ See, it’s not that hard,” Deke replied sarcastically.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause you’ve been nothing but polite to us,” Kris retorted, earning her a dirty glare.

“Oh, good to see you too.” His sarcastic tone was really getting on her nerves. “Where the hell did you run off to yesterday?”

“That’s my business, not yours, sweetheart,” Kris replied coldly, throwing his own words back at him.

“Huh, that mean I get to punch you now?”

“You can certainly try.” She narrowed her eyes at him. He held her gaze for a moment before gesturing to their clothes.

“At least you’re finally taking my advice on blending in. I was coming to see you guys anyway ‘cause I haven’t seen you in a little while.”

That immediately raised alarm bells for Kris. Deke had wanted nothing to do with them from the moment he met them, but now he was looking for them just because? Something was wrong.

“I was hoping Daisy was with you,” Coulson said. “Last we heard, she was looking for you.”

“Yeah, she found me. I was just with her a couple of hours ago. And it's … it's all good,” Deke assured them. “I helped her onto a lower medical floor. It's where we think your other friend is.”

“She never came back or checked in,” May told him. 

“She said something about no further contact.” Deke shook his head, frowning. “Spy stuff. How’d she put it? ‘Silent mode’?”

“Going dark,” May supplied.

“Yeah, that. And I told her that you’d wonder and she said, quote, ‘Get out of my way. This is what I do. My friend’s life is on the line. I’ll figure something out’.” Deke recited Daisy’s words in a tired, long-suffering tone.

Coulson, May and Kris exchanged glances. Deke had lied to them about a number of things since they met, but this seemed to be the truth. Kris’ alarm bells silenced. Or at least, quietened. 

“Yeah, that sounds like Daisy.” Coulson nodded.

“Sorry I don’t have her. I wish I did,” Deke continued, sounding genuinely apologetic.

“It’s alright. We came for you. What do you know about Level Thirty-Five?” Coulson asked.

“Every few floors, there’s a secure Kree level.” Deke looked between them. “Level Four is holding, that’s … where I met you fine folks. And then Level Seventeen is engineering. But I’ve never seen Thirty-Five. Why?”

“We’re hoping to find some Kree technology. Anything that’ll help us. We need to investigate the surface.”

Kris spared a glance at the boss. She wasn’t exactly on board with telling Deke their plan. Deke chuckled, thinking they were joking. When he saw their serious expressions, the smile dropped away quickly. 

“The surface. Yeah, why not?” he asked exasperated. “No, yeah, it’ll take too long to get to the centre of the sun –”

“I know it’s an unconventional plan,” Coulson interrupted. 

“What is exactly wrong with you people that you keep going places you are not supposed to be going?” Deke hissed. “Are you all very suicidal?”

“We have reasons,” May stated simply. 

“Not good ones.”

“We do now,” Coulson said. “Virgil’s time in the Trawler? He was communicating with the surface.” He held up the recording device. Before Kris could warn him not to, Coulson clicked the play button.

“Virgil, come in. Do you read?” The message played. 

Kris watched Deke carefully while May stood guard in case anyone else was nearby. She watched him freeze, staring at the device. As the message continued, his eyes darted all over the place, his expression a mixture of shock and confusion. At first, Kris supposed he was surprised by the existence of people on the surface, like Tess was. But when the message ended, she was convinced there was something more. Yet another thing Deke wasn’t telling them.

“Those people are all dead.” His voice was hushed. “Kasius thinks they’re all dead.”

“I know,” Coulson replied.

There was a pause as they waited for Deke’s decision on whether or not he would help them. 

“I – I need to go get a few things,” he said, still looking stunned.

“Oh, so now you’re interested?” May piped up.

“Those people up there … if we can find them, that’s in everyone’s best interest.”

He pushed past them and began walking quickly, as though he was in a rush to be somewhere. Kris, apprehensive about this strange behaviour, followed him closely. May and Coulson lagged behind a bit due to her injured leg, but they were still in sight.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” Kris probed. “Helping Daisy, now helping us. What’s going on?”

“Are you always this suspicious of others?” Deke fired back.

Kris opened her mouth to reply with a sharp ‘yes’ but stopped. The truth was, no, she never used to be so mistrustful of others. But after everything that had happened … 

“I just meant … do you know the person on the recording?”

Deke stopped dead. “Why would you assume that?”

“Well, you’ve lived here your whole life, surely you must have crossed paths with him? Or someone else who might still be alive out there. And, uh, it’s written all over your face.”

Deke schooled his shell-shocked expression back to a neutral one. “Look, you were the one who didn’t want to get personal. So just drop it.”

He turned on his heel and continued walking rapidly. Kris raised her eyebrows at May and Coulson and turned to follow him.

~~~

“I imagine it’s not as simple as taking the elevator down to Thirty-Five,” Coulson addressed Deke.

“No. We can’t access it,” Deke replied, putting on gloves. “But I can get us in below it, find my way in. I’ll call the elevator from Level Thirty-Five itself.” He walked to the other side of the elevator. 

The top of the control panel displaying the floor numbers turned red as they passed Thirty-Five, beeping loudly. They moved on to Thirty-Six and it went back to normal. The elevator stopped with a clunk.

“You guys hang tight.” Deke grabbed his belt buckle (or Gravity Puck as he called it) and it lit up blue. The device beeped and Deke floated off the ground. He opened a hatch in the roof and pulled himself up, floating into the elevator shaft.

“You trust him?” Coulson asked as they watched him disappear.

“You know me better than that,” May replied. 

“No,” Kris added simply. “Chances are, he appears on the other side of that door flanked by Kree. Be ready.”

They waited until they felt the elevator move again. The panel flashed red again before the doors opened. 

Surprisingly, Deke was alone in the dark corridor. “Welcome to Level Thirty-Five.” He grinned. When none of them responded or even smiled back, he sighed and walked away. “Yeah, well, hold the applause.”

They searched the level, looking for anything that might help them. But so far they had no luck. 

Coulson opened a door and Kris winced as it creaked loudly. The section of the level they were in was completely deserted, completely silent. But that didn’t mean there weren’t Kree nearby who might hear them.

“What is this place?” Coulson asked, keeping his voice low.

“Lab,” May suggested. “Maybe R&D.”

Kris suspected she was right. This room had shelves full of glass bottles and vials. Hopefully they would find something useful in here.

“R&D. That works,” Coulson said.

As he was about to turn a corner into the next section of the room, Deke grabbed him and pulled him against the wall, out of sight. May and Kris followed suit, listening carefully. They heard the faint sounds of movement and waited with baited breath.

There was a small thud and Deke reached behind him to push Kris further back. Even though the touch was faint, she still automatically batted his hand away. Her hand hitting the sleeve of his leather jacket made a quiet noise, but not enough to alert the Kree to their presence.

He gave her a strange look over his shoulder and she glared back. She hated being this close to him. At least May, who was standing behind her, gave her a little space. But Deke was so close to Kris that his back brushed against her. Kris was grateful that at least he didn’t smell bad, despite his worse for wear appearance. 

They heard heavy footsteps receding as the Kree left the lab. Once the door closed, they continued searching.

“If this place is all science, then there’s gotta be something here we can use,” Coulson said. “We just need to find it.”

They spread out across the dimly lit lab. Their heads whipped up simultaneously as they heard a screech in the distance.  

“Roaches?” Coulson and Kris asked at the same time, looking to Deke. Surely there weren’t Roaches on this floor? This was too far down for them.

“No,” Deke replied, but he sounded unsure.

They walked quickly through the lab, scanning every surface for some tech.

“Wait. What is that?” May asked softly. She split from the group, approaching a small containment chamber.

The others followed her, and Kris let out a small gasp when she saw what was inside.

“It’s the package meant for Gunner, isn’t it?” Coulson asked.

“Probably,” Deke whispered, not taking his eyes off it. “There’s been a lot of vacancies lately. Must be time to start filling them.”

It wasn’t tech. It was a baby.

~~~

“They’re using newborns as a commodity?” Coulson asked, disgusted.

“How do you think things are done around here? It's the only way anyone can have kids,” Deke explained.

“I’m sorry … ‘the only way’?”

“People don’t get pregnant anymore.” Deke sounded dejected. 

“Super. And the vibe goes full dystopian.” Coulson sighed. “What did they do, sterilise the whole population?”

“We think they do it through the food so they can decide who has children.”

“That’s twisted,” Kris muttered, shaking her head. She wasn’t really a fan of kids and never planned on having any herself but to take that choice away from people … it horrified her.

“How long?” Coulson pressed for more answers, sounding angry.

The two men turned away from the baby. Kris, after one last glance at the child, followed them.

“They’ve always tried to control it,” Deke said. “I was one of the last ones that was born the old-fashioned way. Until Kasius decided that it was easiest to just –”

“Create the children themselves,” Coulson finished his sentence. “But why? Are they trying to diversify the human population?”

“Kasius doesn’t care about humans,” Deke responded. “He just wants to increase the genetic chances they turn –”

Dread filled Kris’ stomach. She hoped he wasn’t talking about what she thought he was talking about.

“– to Inhumans,” Deke continued. “They’re much more valuable that way.”

Coulson shot Kris a concerned look, silently checking on her. She rolled her eyes, trying to hide her growing unease. 

“Oh, there’s a surprise,” she muttered sarcastically.

“Valuable?” Coulson asked, frowning. “Valuable to whom? Deke, what is he auctioning off down there?”

“You think he’s selling rocks? The whole process is pretty upsetting, so we try not to think about the details.”

“Wait, what auction?” Kris was confused. This was the first she had heard of it.

“Grill was making us work harder,” Coulson explained. “Said Kasius had guests arriving for an auction so we had to provide iron for him to sell. I thought …”

Kris swallowed hard as she fully processed what Deke had said. ‘Pretty upsetting’ didn’t sound good. 

She turned to him. “Tell me he’s not …” she whispered, unable to say the words ‘selling them’ out loud.

Deke looked down, avoiding her eyes. That told her everything. Fear twisted her stomach. If Kasius discovered her or Yo-Yo or Daisy … They were in even greater danger now. 

“Phil,” May drew their attention. She had been so shocked by the baby, she had walked away to inspect one of the computers on the lab bench. Now she was coming towards them. “I found something.”

“What is it?” Coulson asked her.

May glared daggers at Deke. Oh, that wasn’t good. 

“Him,” May growled. She punched him in the face, knocking him back a few steps.

Deke rubbed his nose. “Okay. Ow,” he groaned nasally.

May stalked back to the computer and Kris followed her.

“May?” Coulson was worried.

“The lab got a new sample they’re supposed to use,” May clicked a key on the keyboard, “for Inhuman genes.” 

The computer beeped and the screen brought up a profile with Daisy’s picture.

“Daisy,” Coulson mumbled. “And they’ve been holding her since yesterday –” 

They all looked up at Deke.

“Is that what that thing says? Because if you –”

“– even though you said you were helping her this morning,” Coulson continued. “Why would you lie about Daisy unless you sold her out?”

“Okay, well, this is probably the part where I should explain,” Deke started.

“No. This is the part where May breaks your face,” Coulson retorted as May cracked her knuckles. “You explaining … kind of secondary.”

Okay, you’re mad. I get that.”

“Oh, we are way past that,” Kris snarled through gritted teeth. “Do you ever stop lying?”

“I have my reasons.” Deke turned to her.

“Not good ones,” Kris repeated his own words back at him.

“Are they using her for breeding?” May asked. Her tone was even but there was an unmistakable undercurrent of anger. As much as Kris wanted to beat Deke up for lying to them yet again, she was not going to get in May’s way.

“It seems that way, but that’s not why Kasius wanted her,” Deke answered.

“So you did sell her out?” Coulson clarified.

“Yes, but there’s more –” Deke was cut off by the door opening. Three Kree guards entered and Deke immediately jumped into action. “Hey fellas, we actually – we just got a little bit turned around. Uh, is this Level Thirty-Five? We were actually looking for –”

Coulson picked up a metal chair and hit the nearest Kree with it. It had absolutely no effect.

“Oh, okay. We’re fighting.” Deke backed away quickly as the Kree attacked them.

One Kree swung his axe at May while another went to punch Coulson. The third guard stalked straight toward Deke. 

Kris intercepted him. She punched his jaw, but it seemed to hurt her more than it hurt him. He turned his attention away from Deke, concentrating only on Kris now. 

The Kree snarled and took a swing at her. She ducked, delivering a swift uppercut to his chin. She skirted around him, and turned, using her momentum to kick him in the back. His knees buckled momentarily but he recovered. He swung at her again but she blocked it, their forearms connecting. She lashed out with her free arm and hit him in the stomach, winding him. He stumbled back while she advanced.

She threw another punch at his face, but he caught it this time, twisting her wrist painfully. She cried out but was quickly silenced. The Kree wrapped his free hand around her throat, lifting her off the ground as he choked her.

She kicked his chest as hard as she could but he didn’t move. She grabbed his outstretched arm and pulled herself up to kick again. His fingers squeezed her neck painfully and she sputtered. Her hair came loose as she struggled, falling in blonde waves around her shoulders. Black spots appeared at the edges of her vision as she clawed at his hand. 

Without fully meaning to, she used her powers. The Kree roared as pain coursed through his entire body. His grip went slack and Kris dropped to the ground, gasping. She recovered quickly, standing up and tossing her hair out of her face. She continued to cause the guard pain, standing over him while he fell to his knees. Because of her distress, she was causing him more pain than she intended, but it seemed to be working so she didn’t stop.

He reached out again, flailing at her. She swiftly stepped out of his reach then kicked him in the head, hitting his temples with the sole of her boot. He collapsed to the ground, unconscious. 

She turned, panting, to see Deke staring at her in amazement. She quickly checked him over and, after determining he was alright, spun to see how she could help the others. Coulson was being strangled by his opponent so she rushed over to him.

But Deke, shaken out of his daze, got there first. He grabbed a metal tray from the bench and smacked the Kree over the head. The impact knocked the Kree to his knees, but he swiftly pulled out a knife and stabbed Deke.

May, who had defeated her opponent, used the Kree axe to knock the knife out of the guard’s hand. Coulson punched him then May kicked him in quick succession. He fell backwards, shattering a glass wall. 

Kris rushed over to Deke, checking his injury. He was lying on the floor, groaning. He looked up at her.

“You’re an Inhuman,” he choked out. “Knew you were a massive target on my back.”

“Hey, watch it,” Coulson warned him. “We’re trying to help you.”

They dragged Deke to his feet, helping him hobble away from the lab. As they were attempting to leave, the door opened again. 

“More Kreepers.” Deke grimaced.

“Phil, Kris, you take Deke upstairs. Make him talk. I’ll hold them off,” May ordered.

Coulson caught her arm. “I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“Go,” she insisted. 

“May. Your leg. You’re still not one hundred percent.”

“I’ll stay,” Kris offered.

“No,” May said sternly. “If they catch you –”

“They won’t. I’ve got you here,” Kris insisted. 

May stared at her for a moment before nodding slightly, allowing her to stay.

“Hang on –” Coulson tried.

“We’ve got this,” May assured him. “Go.”

As Coulson and Deke stumbled away, Kris heard Deke instructing Coulson where to go.

“Level Twenty… nearest medical level.”

There was another thud and the women turned around to face whatever threat was coming. May held up the axe while Kris took up her ready stance next to her.

A female Kree entered this time, her black hair falling in a long braid down her back. She was playing with something in her hand – two metal spheres. They began to float, spinning around each other rapidly. The woman sent them hurtling towards May and Kris.

May flipped, causing the orbs to miss her, and kicked the Kree. Kris ducked to avoid the orbs then sprang into action. She rushed to the other side of the room, grabbing the discarded knife. It was a strangely smooth material, but her gloves allowed her to get a good grip on it.

May hit the Kree with the axe and her head snapped to the side. She turned back to face May then summoned the spheres. They smashed into something on one of the benches but Kris was too preoccupied with the fight to care what it was. 

May lunged again but the woman grabbed the axe and pulled her off balance. Kris approached from behind, knife raised but the woman kicked out. Her foot connected with Kris’ stomach, sending her reeling back.

The woman raised her leg to kick again, this time at May. May ducked just in time but the woman still managed to knock the axe out of her hand.

May stumbled back, raising her fists. The Kree dropped low and punched her. Then she jumped up and kicked May back into a bench. May rolled off the bench, landing on the ground.

Kris ran at the Kree again. She punched her side, and sliced at her back with the knife. The woman whipped around and swept Kris’ legs out from under her. Kris landed awkwardly, grunting as her arm and back took the brunt of the fall. The knife clattered away across the floor, out of reach.

Kris and May recovered quickly, getting back up without hesitation. May aimed a kick at the woman’s head, but she blocked it. She tried to punch May but she blocked that. May swung at her again, which the woman dodged. But it was just a distraction for May to kick her, sending her flying back. 

May cried out in pain, clutching her injured leg. This was exploited by the Kree, who grabbed her by the neck. She lifted May up and threw her over her head, smacking her down on a metal table.

May yelled in pain again as she hit the table then the floor. Kris tackled the Kree woman, slamming her into the wall. She grappled to free her arms then pressed her forearm against the woman’s windpipe. The woman snarled and headbutted her. Kris stepped back slightly, blinking, but she was given no time to recover. The woman backhanded her, her knuckles connecting with Kris’ temple. 

Kris fell to the ground, hitting the other side of her head. She rolled over, gazing blearily at May, trying to fight the darkness crowding her vision. She pushed herself up but that made her head spin and she collapsed again. She saw the woman summon one of her spheres, holding it up as she towered over May.

May coughed and struggled to stand up. Her back hit the wall as the woman advanced threateningly.

“May …” Kris managed to whisper before she blacked out.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag // @arrthurpendragon // @mischiefmanaged71

(If you want to be added to or removed from my taglist, feel free to send me a message)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So, listening to Do the Right Thing led me to listen to a few episodes of Margaret Cabourn-Smith’s podcast Crushed. I only listened a few of them that looked interesting – Isy Suttie, Danielle Ward, and Nish Kuamr. The format is talking about “crushes”, so mostly from childhood and adolescence when this sort of thing is prevalent. Nish Kumar’s episode had this exchange early on that made me like him so much I had to stop and write it down:

Margaret Cabourn Smith: First crush, who springs to mind? Nish Kumar: When I told my girlfriend I was doing this podcast, she said, “Are they expecting you to largely talk about fictional characters? Because it’s going to be an hour of you talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Who wants that, Nish?”

Guy, I like Nish Kumar so much. I love that the comedian I find funnier than almost anyone else, also happens to come across as an incredibly likeable person. He’s always had significant One of Us energy when he talks about being a comedy and music fan; I think his reputation should be at least as much for his relatable nerdery as for his (also relatable) righteous political anger. Quite a lot of this came across in listen to him talk for an hour with Margaret Cabourn Smith on that podcast. I’d listen to Nish Kumar talk for an hour about anything.

But anyway, I did like that specific quote, which he proceeded to expand on later in the episode, because that is a fairly specific thing that I seem to have in common with a lot of those comedians. Josh Widdicombe once went on a panel show and explained that he spent his teenage years doing math to work out his and his friends’ chances of marrying Sarah Michelle Gellar. And there was, obviously, this. All of that. I guess coming of age while being in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer is hardly an uncommon experience for this generation, but still, I enjoy when comedians give me relatable content like talking about coming of age while being in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Actually, the comedian I most share this with is probably Rosie Jones, as she played Willow in that Amusical that I linked to (if you haven’t seen the pictures and videos at that link before, please do yourself a favour and click on it, it’s fucking delightful and I rewatch this video like once every few weeks), and at the end made a speech about how that show helped her know it was okay to be gay. Which is such a common story for queer woman of the millennial generation (I’ve just looked it up and Rosie Jones is only four months older than me) that it’s almost a running joke, among the ones I know, to say that of course you grew up with Willow/Tara and The L Word and your only scraps of representation, which you watched with headphones on and your door closed so no one would know you were discovering the forbidden lesbianism.

But for me, I didn’t get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer until a couple of years after it had finished airing. So it wasn’t the thing that made me realize I was gay as a teenager. I’d already done that. I’d had my few really difficult years from ages 15-18, as I worked out that that horrible word that I only ever heard in the context of students at school using it as a horrible insult applied to me. I did my journey from denial, to acceptance that I might have been attracted to like one girl one time but that’s it and it doesn’t make me gay, to realizing that some sort of LGBT label might apply to me but not knowing which one; from hating myself for that, to slowly accepting it; from insisting that I’ll never ever tell anyone, to whispering it to a couple of very close trusted friends while swearing them to secrecy because I was convinced that everyone knowing would ruin my life, to finally being okay with it not being a secret.

That coincided with when I got into Buffy – just as being gay had finally become something that wasn’t an internal struggle and conflict and source of pain, I’d figured out that this was what I was and it was okay, and I could finally start to enjoy it a bit. Buffy was the first thing I watched where I could find a female character attractive and it didn’t turn into “Oh my God this might mean I really am gay, how do I know if I’m really attracted to her or if I’m just straight and imagining it, I’ll have to add this to the data as I figure out my sexuality, and it seems to be evidence in favour of the option that scares me.” I was able to look at that show at just think, “Wow, Alyson Hannigan is hot, I’m going to enjoy looking at her. I would sure like a girlfriend named Buffy who could kill a guy with her bare hands. This high school sure is full of attractive people.”

And it was so exciting! I jumped right in to take full advantage of finally being able to feel attraction without hating myself for it, and the first thing I did with that was develop a crush on every single female character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. To different degrees, maybe, but all of them. Including Jenny Calendar, the teacher. Including Dawn, who was a rare case of a teenage character playing by a teenage actor, but it’s okay I was a teenage myself at the time. Obviously Buffy and Willow. Faith. Oh my God I had the biggest crush on Faith. I fell in love with Tara the moment she was introduced. Anya. Cordelia. Drusilla. Even Kennedy. Faith. Did I mention Faith? I mean Eliza Dushku was gorgeous but I definitely also had a thing for the character of Faith. Then right after I finished Buffy, I watched Angel and Firefly and Dollhouse, and also fell in love with every female character on those shows.

I’ve felt mildly weird even writing this out, as when I’m 33 and have been out for years, I’m a lot more conscious of whether I’m just objectifying women who have been objectified throughout their whole careers (especially how that we’ve heard about how gross Joss Whedon was and how a lot of those women were treated badly while making the shows in question). It doesn’t seem quite as fun and exciting, and I think it’s probably a good thing to have at least a little bit of restraint in talking about which strangers I find sexually attractive. But as a teenager, after spending years with attraction to women being a source of nothing but confusion and self-hatred, I still remember how fucking cool it felt to enjoy it with no shame or hesitation whatsoever.

…I mean, obviously it was also a good TV show. There were lots of TV shows in 2008 that were full of attractive women, I could have watched any of them, I watched Buffy and the other Whedon shows because they were really good, and a huge part of why they were so good is that the very attractive women were also very good at their jobs. That seems worth acknowledging. I picked those shows to watch because they were made by people who were good at their jobs.

Anyway. Hearing Nish Kumar say that if he’s going on a podcast about teenage crushes, he’s just going to talk about Buffy the Vampire Slayer for an hour, made me remember all this and want to write it down. And made me want to say, I love Nish Kumar’s righteous political anger, but I also enjoy his relatable nerd side so much. Also, during the episode he fell over himself several times to try not to sound horribly objectifying, in exactly the way that I do when I talk about these things (including, for example, in this post). Such a relatable thing to try to find a respectful and feminist way to say “Jesus Christ Sarah Michelle Gellar was fucking hot”.

I know it's a problem for a fan to think a person they've never met is as perfect as I think Nish Kumar is. I don't need him to be perfect forever, I promise. I personally promise to not cancel Nish Kumar if it turns out he said a homophobic slur in 2006 or something. Everyone said homophobic slurs in 2006 (I was there at the time and can confirm this). But if he could manage to not do anything massively disappointing for the next while, that would be great, because he's really propping up my tiny scraps of faith in humanity these days.

While I'm at this, I may as well also say that I've been re-watching some Good Place episodes in the last few days, which is reminding me of the phase I had just after my Whedon phase, which was my obsessed with Veronica Mars phase, and involved being incalculably attracted to both Kristen Bell and the character she played. She deserved far better than Logan.

[rynekins]

Welcome back to the Sideshow Bob Awards!

If you missed Part 1, that’s where I go over the results for a few polls I had for Funniest Episode, Best Animation, and Best Quote.

This time, let us begin with the results for Best Song. This category had not just the most votes, but the most diverse votes. Sideshow Bob fans might not be able to agree on his best song, but we all can agree that Kelsey Grammer has a wonderful singing voice, and the character simply would not be the same without it. I am happy to say that Hullaba-Lula takes Honorable Mention. If it wasn’t cut from Day of the Jackanapes it might have gotten a lot more votes, because this funny and twisted version of Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Da would have been a treat to see animated. Alas, the nostalgia factor may not be at play here, as most would have heard of this song years after the fact. If you are a Sideshow Bob fan but haven’t heard this little ditty, definitely look it up, you’re missing out.

In Third Place we have The Very Reason That I Live, from The Great Louse Detective. In this parody of I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face from My Fair Lady, Bob realizes he can’t kill Bart. Why? Well, what would he do with his archenemy gone? How formidable could he have been if he could die so easily? He’s been so obsessed with revenge for so long, crafted this identity of a criminal genius, he sees no satisfaction with it having to end. Not gonna lie, there are some lyrics here that are particularly creepy and I think have had a negative impact on how some fans and some writers interpret the character going forward. I don’t think it was intentional, but it is unfortunate. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the song (it’s my personal favorite episode). I think it was very important to his character and I choose to keep this takeaway: Bob feels conflicted about being a villain. He’s been the hero before, and he knows how good that feels. At the end of this song he runs away to attempt once again to start his life over. We had seen him try to reform before and we will see it happen again, but the universe conspires against him. This is ultimately what had endeared him to me so long ago. It is however a strange choice. Earlier in the episode they were talking about putting on the musical Man of La Mancha. They probably should have either done a parody of a song from that or mentioned My Fair Lady instead. Late script change? This is also a rare case of Family Guy doing it first. Stewie sings I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face in the episode Running Mates, which aired two years prior. Honestly, it fits Stewie better, given that Stewie’s mannerisms are somewhat based on the actor who stars in My Fair Lady, Rex Harrison. Stewie’s version doesn’t change any lyrics, so Bob’s version is more transformative.

Somethin’ Stupid takes Second Place, a duet between Bob and Selma on karaoke night, and a parody of Somethin’ Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra. It’s incredibly sweet, but also silly as we hear Bob's dulcet tones alongside Selma's raspy voice, and see a montage of them doing sappy couple things together. I adore that bit of animation of them running through the flowers. I can imagine that any Sideshow Bob lover would DIE to have him sing this song to them. The question is if Bob was singing this in earnest. We know he is a performer and fully capable of making someone, including us, believe his love is genuine. We also know how the episode ends and how he callously sings a reprise to himself with more macabre lyrics. Despite this, I do believe he loved Selma, at least at first. It was a time when both of them were desperate for human companionship and they felt lucky to have found eachother. I believe it was after he realized he wasn’t the most important man in her life that his feelings turned bitter, and the evil scheming began. And maybe that wasn’t what the writers intended. Maybe he was evil from the start of the relationship (though some actions would then not make sense) and maybe Bob coulda fooled me like everybody else. But maybe it’s fiction and I can remember it however I want, and I want to remember this as a cute moment. Because it is. Do I ship it? Maybe.

Once again, Cape Feare wins gold with excerpts from the HMS Pinafore. We start with Bob excitedly singing We Sail the Ocean Blue, drift in to I’m Called Little Buttercup as he wears a thrown together costume of a mop and shower curtain, Bart joins in for I am the Captain of the Pinafore (where did they get those set props and costumes?), and ending with the iconic look of Captain Bob during He is an Englishman. This scene has everything. It’s absurd, expressively animated, 4th wall breaking, and tense. Bob and Bart’s dynamic here is perfect, showing their rivalry to be something terrifying one second and yet cartoonishly hilarious the next. Bart knows Bob so well that he makes one of the smartest moves he’s ever thought of and plays to Bob’s ego. Then we are treated to a range of beautiful melodies with a comedic touch, a perfect balance from Kelsey Grammer. As many times as this scene gets a call back, Bob would never again let his love of Gilbert and Sullivan be used against him. Going out on a high note, he continues to sing to himself for his own enjoyment, and has since learned to weaponize his gift of song on occasion.

Humor, animation, and song. These are the ingredients chosen that make the perfect Sideshow Bob episode. But an extra ingredient added to the concoction: Mystery, elevates an episode to another level of fun, engagement, and intrigue. Erm, spoiler alert. An element of Mystery isn’t exclusive to Sideshow Bob episodes, but during a season of The Simpsons, if there was one episode that was a who-dun-it or how-dun-it or dramatic reveal, often making use of the Bart and Lisa Detective Duo, the honor would usually go to a Sideshow Bob related scheme. How appropriate that for this category, we have a dramatic twist: I have no Honorable Mention, for three episodes are tied for Third Place! Krusty Gets Busted, Cape Feare, and The Great Louse Detective.

The Great Louse Detective does have a decent set up of clues though very few suspects. The real twist is who the perpetrator really is, based on a character that was only in one episode many seasons prior. It’s possible to enjoy this ending without extensive Simpsons trivia knowledge, but some math related issues with the timeline do make the decision to include this character look poorly implemented. Cape Feare’s mystery is revealed before the first commercial break, though it is a very dramatic reveal and a rather pivotal moment for Bob’s character. The jokes leading up to it are pretty funny.

Krusty Gets Busted should ultimately take the title of Third Place, at least. Being the first Bob episode, and incorporating a true mystery, it creates the blueprint for many episodes to follow. Though Bob pulls us aside to show his true nature before anyone in the story can catch on, we are presented the clues first and can feel proud of Bart for figuring it out himself.

Brother From Another Series takes second, the mystery being: Is Bob still evil? Tragically, the answer is: No! This is the first time in the series that Bob genuinely tries to reform after some of his worst acts, and he would have gotten to, if it weren’t for his little brother. While it might have been obvious that Cecil would turn out to be behind it all, Bob comes very close to snapping multiple times and continued to exhibit antisocial behavior (not that I’d blame him, given the working conditions). We could easily be led to believe that Bob would be the mastermind as always, not the unwitting accomplice. What a twist that he must work with his nemesis to save the town, or try to, anyways. I wish Cecil would make more speaking appearances.

Finally, in First Place, we have Black Widower. While not the perfect mystery (we don’t exactly know when the motive was at play) we are given hints on how it will piece together. Homer’s advice, the mention of the fireplace, Selma’s lack of a sense of smell, these are details that may not grab your attention during a first watch and yet they are very important. It’s funny that such subtle hints could lead to such an explosive ending. And even moreso than in Krusty Gets Busted, we can be very impressed that Bart figures it out all on his own, officially setting his and Bob’s rivalry in stone.

The quintessential Sideshow Bob episode brings the laughs, has quips most quotable, dazzles you with noteworthy animation, serenades you with something sentimental and/or silly, and invites you to play along with a game of mystery. I didn’t want to do a Best Episode category because I knew Cape Feare would win that one too, but these poll results do show why. Cape Feare excels in what makes a Sideshow Bob episode special, and is deserving of the hype that it gets. However, I do hope that we still have some love for all of the other episodes, which together create the lore, character development, and hilarious moments that make this character so dang lovable. Thank you to everyone who voted or left comments in the polls. Your participation made this possible.

[ogsherlockholmes]

The Valley of Fear was published after The Final Problem.

So, either the events of Valley happened before FINA because the timeline was always messy or Moriarty didn't die in the end of FINA.

Which one is it?

Well. 

The simple answer is, yes, the timeline is messy, ACD needed classes on chronology (Tolkien could teach him a thing or two) and we can just leave it at that. We’ll just ignore all the details (very un-Sherlock of us) and say that it’s not that important when it happens, more just the enjoyment of reading the stories. 

However, that’s boring. 

Moriarty not dying is not a particularly unpopular theory, and I’m not just talking about BBCSherlock. When Sherlock comes back in The Empty House, his explanation to Watson is pretty unsatisfactory, so much so that it’s not widely believed. I’ll insert the quote of how Sherlock describes Moriarty’s death:

“I walked along the pathway, Moriarty still at my heels. When I reached the end I stood at bay. He drew no weapon, but he rushed at me and threw his long arms around me. He knew that his own game was up, and was only anxious to revenge himself upon me. We tottered together upon the brink of the fall. I have some knowledge, however, of baritsu, or the Japanese system of wrestling, which has more than once been very useful to me. I slipped through his grip, and he with a horrible scream kicked madly for a few seconds and clawed the air with both his hands. But for all his efforts he could not get his balance, and over he went. With my face over the brink I saw him fall for a long way. Then he struck a rock, bounded off, and splashed into the water.” 

I mean, sure, it could happen, which is why some do believe Sherlock. But Moriarty? Apparently Sherlock’s greatest foe and the smartest man alive? Just throwing himself at him? 

I don’t have all the answers, I’m not an expert, so I’m not going to be able to give a direct answer as to if Moriarty survived. Perhaps Sherlock was telling the truth, but Moriarty managed to paddle away at the bottom of the waterfall and wasn’t seen. Or, Sherlock’s fibbing and Moriarty escaped in an early version of an airplane with Sebastian Moran. Who knows? It’s anything you want: we can fill in all the plotholes or add our own mini plotlines to help the canon, but we’ll never know for certain. 

I will say this, however: you mentioned The Valley of Fear, another story which Moriarty features. In it, it implies that Moriarty was involved in the deaths at the end of the story, and Sherlock intended to go after him. Canon inconsistencies aside, if Moriarty was involved in one of the cases, what’s to say he wasn’t involved in any others?

I haven’t really answered your question, and I’m sorry I can’t be of much help, but if you have an idea, and you have evidence to back it up, no one can tell you wrong. Really, you don’t have to have any evidence, you could say whatever you like and there’s probably at least one person out there who agrees. 

[fnaf-fanatical]

(I tried uploading the audio file but tumblr doesn't like me for some reason :[ )

Anyways:

School Project

I’ve been writing for a while, which actually started through here because tumblr posts with incorrect quotes led me to reading stories, which in turn made me start writing them. I was 11 or 12 at the time, fresh into my first real fandom, and very into wattpad stories, which as anyone on this site will know are unhinged, unedited, and due to the fact that most people writing there are very young like I was, are more than often lower quality than other writing sites (which is not to hate on wattpad writers - i’ve actually even read some really good and profound stories on there, both fanfic and otherwise, but that’s not the vast majority of the site, at least from what I’ve seen).

Honestly I first started writing because not only did it let me make the things I want to see - and was the start of my maladaptive daydreams though I didn’t know anything about that yet - but because it was also an outlet. Life was shitty, and it showed me that other people struggled, that my favorite characters could suffer from anxiety and depression and just shitty mental health, and that meant that I could project onto them. I wasn’t the one who wanted to kill myself dramatically or mutilate my body to get people to finally recognize I was in pain, the character was. I was too scared to ever harm myself physically, at least with a blade or the way I’d seen depicted in stories, but when I wrote, it didn’t matter how realistic it was or how gorey or graphic, because it was all fictional, and the rules were fake anyways.

And over time, obviously, my writing got better and I learned to Care About Myself more, until I didn’t really need to do that anymore. Except... I still liked making stories. I’d always been a storyteller, and writing gave me a medium to do so that would actually get me listened to, my stories could be long and rambling and people wouldn’t be annoyed or stop listening because it was a text, so they could stop reading if they wanted or not look at it or come back to it when they had more energy, and I wouldn’t directly face that, probably wouldn’t even know it was happening.

And, well, one of the things with time blindness is that you can be sitting there, know the time is 2:30 and you’ve got to eat something before you go to bed hours later, and yet you’ll blink and suddenly it’s 10:45 and you haven’t eaten anything, used the bathroom, or even really moved in 8 hours and where did the time go what happened. I started setting an alarm to remind myself to eat dinner, but that didn’t change the fact that I could get so “in-the-zone” that literal hours would blink by like seconds, because while my perception of time has always been wack, focusing - likely hyperfocus cause of the undiagnosed adhd - knows no rules or bounds and disregards the passage of time like a used bandaid that will inevitably show up again later where you least want it yet will go unnoticed and un-thought of until then.

Genuinely, I think I’ve grown a lot as a writer and I enjoy most of my own works, both because they’re what I want to see and because I can appreciate the skill that goes into it - which doesn’t mean I don’t still have a lot to learn, just that I’ve learned to stop shitting on my own abilities because it’s not perfect.

I’d always noticed when I was reading - usually proper books, when I was younger at least - different mistakes or ways things could’ve been articulated better, and when I didn’t know what a word or concept was I’d do everything I could to find out. So it’s no surprise that those skills transferred over to when I became a writer and took every source I could to try and improve my writing, some more valid than others.

Just... yeah. Writing helped me a lot, and I like where I’m at now.

[cmdr-prio]

20/06/3309

12:12 UTC

Every time I wake up, I have to check galnet to make sure I haven’t lost time again. This must be what it feels like to come out of a coma. The universe hasn’t significantly changed, but now something’s going on with the thargoid war, there’s some kind of cult involved, and I guess people get paid to find plants now?

There’s a lot I need to catch up on when I reach the end of this journey.

My brain feels like a neutron star’s firing off in it today. But you don’t get to take a day off when it makes the difference between living and dying.

My next waypoint is Eos Aowsy ZW-J c22-50. Aowsy feels like something Doge would say after getting bonked with a baseball bat.

Frell.

I just realised my already outdated meme knowledge is even further out of date.

In any case, I want to try reaching at least two waypoints today before calling it quits.

Heh. “Today.”

A measurement of time based on a planet we’ve long since drifted away from. We can’t forget our roots, I guess.

Well. Time to find something to blast into my ears, and fire up the engines again.

13:01 UTC

Here’s the thing about space. It’s really big. I know there’s already that famous quote about how big space is, but hear me out here.

The human brain was not designed to comprehend these kinds of scales. Hell, there are things planetside that are simply too big for a human to really comprehend beyond a theoretical level.

You might understand a mile. Maybe in terms of a distance you can run, or drive in a car. Ten miles, sure. But 100? Or 1000?

I am travelling lightyears. I am so far away from Sol, that by the time one photon from there were to reach me, I’ll have been long dead. Possibly in the “thousands of years” sense, I haven’t done the math.

And it’s just a few orange lines on a map.

Honestly, I’ve seen some ships that I’d say are big enough to be beyond human comprehension in terms of scale. Space stations definitely are.

I think about this a lot. Star Trek loved to show us the Enterprise, but it was rarely in a context that allowed you to truly comprehend the scale, at least in the early days.

One of the first things Red Dwarf shows us is a solitary person painting the side of the ship. The camera pulls out until they aren’t even visible any more, and the camera just keeps going. You’re very clearly shown that this ship, is really frelling big.

As you may guess, by the fact I’ve taken the time to write an essay about how my brain is too small, I’m at my first waypoint. On to the next.

♫ Currently listening to: Daft Punk - TRON Legacy Soundtrack ♫

14:23 UTC

One of the systems on the way here(Dryau Aowsy KN-B c13-1001) had a whole buncha stars, and I couldn’t help but think of the line “There are three suns and no women, WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!”

I’m currently parked on some rock in Dryau Aowsy SZ-X c14-982, with a pretty decent view to boot.

Though I did notice this nearby while zooping the camera around.

Is this something I should be worried about? I’m not brave enough to drive my scarab over there for a closer look. Probably just a mildly interesting rock. Right..?

14:44 UTC

Nothing new to report. I’ve just been sitting here waiting to see if this migraine will weaken. But I have realised that when I finally reach Sagittarius A*, I’ve totally forgotten how to safely approach space stations from supercruise, and I don’t have an assist module. I vaguely remember something about controlling your speed to keep it around 7 seconds away, which is how I’ve been approaching planets, but a planetary approach will automatically drop me out of supercruise when the time is right. I don’t think approaching a station will? Does my ship alert me when it’s time to drop out of SC? I really don’t remember.. The training sims all used SC assist...

♫ Currently listening to: Henry Jackman - Kick-Ass: The Score ♫

15:35 UTC

I’ve made it to Ogairy LC-M c7-338. There’s like 7 waypoints left from here.

22 jumps per waypoint, that’s like.. 154 jumps? I can do 154 jumps, when my map settings were frelled up I was making like 180 jumps a day.

There’s a real chance I can finish this relatively soon.

Just don’t think about the journey back.

Honestly I’m wondering if I’ll be able to hitch a ride on a fleet carrier or something to get back. Depends who’s around I guess.

Though I shouldn’t be in such a rush to leave Sag-A* when I get there. I should take some time to enjoy the victory.

When I get there.

15:50 UTC

Okay, so I’ve been pondering my options. I think I’m going to step out of the cockpit for a bit. Get some food in me. I’ll publish this log for now. I’ve been wanting to keep one day’s events as a single log, to keep things tidy, but I guess I’ll make a part 2 if I continue the journey today. I need to assess if I have the mental energy to keep flying.

Knowing the end is in sight.. It gives me some hope.