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#I feel like I deserve absolutely nothing
trappedinafantasy37 · 21 days
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"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.
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Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.
And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.
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Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.
At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.
This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.
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Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.
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fitpacs · 3 months
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<3
#i’m reflecting on yesterday rn#and i could honestly bawl my fucking eyes out because of the appreciation i feel from this community#if i may open up a little#i’ve always felt very isolated in life#both irl and online in communities i’ve always felt on the outskirts#never been anyone’s first second or third choice#and yesterday just made me feel the opposite#i’ve only been on qsmpblr since january and tk get the outpouring of love i received yesterday#it blows my fucking mind#if i’m being honest again i don’t feel like i deserve it#but regardless i am so fucking grateful to the people in this community - the strangers and the people i call friends alike#just thank you for making me feel valued and appreciated as a person#because i’ve not felt that for a very long time#and i’m just an anonymous person on the internet with a chay pfp#there’s nothing else identifiable about me#and yet people still give a shit? people went out of their way to wish me hbd and created things for me?#honestly i’m tearing up rn because of it#so just thank you - these things may just not even have crossed your mind as something special to have done#but to me they mean the entire fucking universe#so thank you from the bottom of my heart - i will never shut the fuck up about the love respect and appreciation i have for qsmpblr#because that’s all i’ve received in turn and i am still not used to that#i’ll shut up now but thank you again to absolutely everyone#if there is anything i can do to repay you for the endless kindness you show me please let me know
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why is job hunting.
that's it that's the post
#this is both radicalizing me even more & absolutely harshing my mellow#why. do i need. to communicate with a 'virtual assistant'. to apply at hot fucking topic#you know? maybe i Dont need to apply there. who wants em#everywhere is like you need This This and This#oh look an entry level job! aaaand i need a thousand certifications#Excuse Me Where Do People Who Have Done Nothing With Their Life Thus Far Apply???#why do jobs exist. why cant we all just vibe huh#each application feels like a new death sentence#cant wait to work myself into the ground for a company that views me as nothing but an easily replaceable part! yeehaw!#cant wait to sacrifice my personal time / hobbies / wellbeing for a nine-to-five 5 days a week job i hate!#absolutely unprompted#this world we live in is miserable and infuriating and i want to SHAKE PEOPLE#fucking!! look outside!!! value yourself!! the company is not your family!! they are not worth dying for!! we are all worth so much more!!#gonna go out in the middle of a field and SCREAM#humans are made for art and kindness and for enjoying the short life we're forced into#why make an already doomed existence even worse huh.#why subject ourselves to that. we deserve better. our pasts deserve better. our futures deserve better.#sorry sorry im just. ARGH. this world!!! this life!!! could be so good!!!#but late stage capitalism rampant corruption among Many Other Issues said noooooooo#happiness is illeeegallllll#what if i BITE you. huh. what then. die#every time i sit down to apply i have to actively Not Think About It or i'll delete all my tabs and stop before i start#we as humans are not built for this life... we did not evolve proclivity for kindness and art just to stress ourselves to death#over silly jobs that do Not require the level of dedication we are forced to apply#abolish the 5 day 40+ hour work week... decrease the horrifying amount of funding given to cops and the military... etc...#i think i need to go lie down for a minute im feeling Too Much Anger at the absolute state of things#so happy to be an american. (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)
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you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."
#listen on one hand#i think that like#i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title#i think trent changed it because ted asked him to#and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like#'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong'#but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him#anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah#i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing#the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less#maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to#maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted#but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him.#and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him#and that's pretty heartwrenching#but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way''#also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like#ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not#yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not#yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU.#that was you and your philosophy and your attitude.#you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that#none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one#of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy#you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me.#and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact#like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like#your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/#and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place#this community.
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thatswhatsushesaid · 3 months
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fandom salt that has nothing to do with mdzs for once, i bet you're all relieved
(full disclosure up front that i'm a show-only person and haven't read fire and blood)
i say this as a dedicated and devoted antagonist enjoyer and stan: i am bewildered by the preponderance of hotd posts crossing my dash atm that are, with their whole chests, asserting that:
the narrative of the show is positioning the greens as having a more justified claim to the iron throne than the blacks
rhaenyra is the real villain of the story for, as far as i can tell, the audacious crime of /checks my notes, having sex and then lying about it because not lying about it would probably result in her disinheritance and death (and she would have been killed, as a potential threat to aegon's claim, we're literally watching that happen right now)
aegon is ??? the real hero??? aegon "spends years having his illegitimate children fight each other to the death in illegal pit fighting matches" targaryen, is the real victim because ??? his actor has big sad eyes i guess
don't get me wrong, i am not immune to an antagonist with big sad eyes--stanning a little guy with big sad eyes who does some atrocities is my raison d'être on this blog--but also i think the protagonist and antagonist characters of mdzs (jgy and wwx specifically) are on FAR more equal footing in terms of the blood on their respective hands, the logical reasons and justifications behind why they do what they do, to say nothing of the other parallels that make viewing the story from the antagonist's perspective a super satisfying undertaking for people who enjoy that kind of thing (it's me, i'm people). but if the text and the subtext weren't there to make these examinations a rewarding experience, and if i didn't also find the way the broader fandom itself talks about jgy to be as fascinating as it is frustrating, i... probably wouldn't be running this blog.
even taking into consideration the horrific thing that happens at the end of s2 e1--which, to be clear, was not what rhaenyra wanted, at all--that does not actually change the material conditions that led to rhaenyra having her birthright stripped away from her. it does not make her and aegon the same. they are not the same, not remotely.
is he fascinating? ...not to me, personally, since of the two brothers i'm WAY more interested and invested in aemond's journey and his parallels with daemon (who i ALSO like but who clearly, deliberately manipulated rhaenyra into needing him, from a young age), but i can see why fans might look at this young guy with big eyes who thinks his daddy never loved him, and latch onto him as their meow meow of the hour. whomst among us hasn't been besieged by the brainworms before, no judgment, i get u. none of that makes him a hero.
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adharastarlight · 2 years
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You know, just once, I'd like to be able to listen to new music, like a normal person.
But instead, I'm plagued by associating everything to dead gay wizards.
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anxiously-sidequesting · 10 months
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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notetaeker · 1 year
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Wow I was so unappreciative of my own accomplishments when I was in college. I'm trying to put together a portfolio and it turns out I wrote 5 whole news articles for the school paper ???
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nexus-nebulae · 12 days
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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aeide-thea · 1 year
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do you ever think abt like. how it takes you twice as much work to arrive at half as much personhood and by the time you've managed to scrape yrself together that far the ppl you were trying to join in with have moved on
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raazberry · 9 months
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kind of funny what literally one good day of not making insane assumptions about what my friends think of me and instead just talking to them does to me
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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year
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i will never understand the "stop casting straight actors as gay characters" argument. people just wanna out gay actors so they can have a better grasp on who to hate.
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angel---eater · 2 months
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no seriously where did the 'dirk strider is a transmed/is transphobic' thing come from and also can we leave it behind already
#caw caw#its especially grating when hes hc'd as a trans man and/or is the only hc'd trans man within the kids cause its like.#i dunno it just feels bad. ive gotta stay off for you pages that shit is Not for me#also yes i have read and like the epilogues. i saw him being surprised about tboy roxy but not transphobic#i saw him slipping up in a normal way but that also isnt transphobia. he also cant see inside roxy's head#like he can with everyone else bc of roxy's aspect so he *genuinely* didnt know rox's internal processes or any kinda changes#he swaps pronouns for roxy at some point bc its implied that tboy roxy doesnt happen as often across timelines#so he defaults to she/her for us the readers for simplicity and imo bc most ppl still use she/her for roxy anyway#thats how i see it anyway. the fandom doesnt even like tboy roxy but he only ever comes up for transmed-dirk#which just feels weird and bad yknow. feels kinda puppet-y. bdumtiss#like i just dont think the guy who said he doesnt even deserve to die next to roxy would do that to him i truly dont#i think a lot of people have an uncharitable view of dirk bc they keep conflating him with bro when#that is NOT the point and wasnt the the point of the striunion or anything wrt paradox clones#bro is bro. we dont know why he is the way he is#but there was also absolutely NOTHING to imply that bro was transphobic. thats pure fanlore and most likely projection#projection isnt bad i need to say. but it is when it cements itself into fanlore and then fanlore changes our view of canon#the point of dirk strider is that he loves. he has a whole ass heart right on his chest for fucks sake#he is literally and figuratively wearing his heart outside of his chest for everyone to see#our t
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summoner-of-mist · 6 months
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man im having a wanting to die kinda night again :(((((((((
im trying so fucking hard to make friends but i guess i just cant and just gotta die instead
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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frankensteinmutual · 4 months
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