#in the evening in a timing that absolutely guarantees i will miss at least two hours of sleep per night

[goldensunset]

[anaalnathrakhs]

i am going to be fully driven insane by having to live with my parents

[orngbanana]

Omg heyyy I just found your page and I NEED Dion relationship hcs

i miss my wife op. i miss him a lot. here's hcs for u

Dion Agriche relationship HCS author's note: i thought about poking him with a stick the whole time while making this

• imma be real with you dion's as dense as a rock when it comes to being flirted with, griselda herself said he didn't process shit whenever pandora tried to, she also said someone like him isn't suited to be in a relationship but we’ll ignore that for the bit–

• might go on a rant here but I feel like to be in a relationship w him you either have to be as freaky and damaged as him or just develop to be more dominant cause this man is someone who would rather follow you than lead you if you managed to tame his ass

• he doesn't get bitches. you could think that he's hot as hell but everything else about him cancels it out cause his personality scares nearly everyone who meets him, he's a pathetic little fuck and he’ll need someone as equally pathetic as him for his love life to be even a smidge stable

• PDA is not something he's into, maybe a hand on his or your waist but everything else is a no-no, in private tho he's content with a hand on his cheek or being curled up together in bed

• he doesn’t get enough sleep unless he's unconscious or on horse tranquilizers so instead of that he'll just watch you sleep, it gives him some inner peace and that counts as a kind of rest

• if you go on one of those rare trips of yours it'll be by the sea, you notice the sound of the waves puts him in a trance of some sort so the two of you will simply sit near the shore and quietly enjoy the environment

• you play with his hair sometimes, you'll jokingly tell him to grow it out further so you can braid it, and in response he'll give you the flattest look in existence

• he dissociates often so you make sure to touch him a lot to keep his head out of whatever fog he's experiencing

• when it comes to comforting you he's absolutely ass at it but he will at least make an effort--he won't say anything but he'll sit next to you and stare at you until you tell him what's wrong and that counts for something ig

• you like it when he's naked; NOT in a weird way, you simply like to busy yourself by noting down some small details about his body; moles here, scars there, the paleness of his skin and the veins you can clearly see beneath it, how long his fingers are or how much softer his face is compared to his father’s

• he's surprisingly sensitive to sunlight; comes with having red eyes, after all; you try to hold back your snorts whenever you see him squinting after light hits his face

• apologies after arguments are not his thing, maybe cause he was raised by a self-centered dipshit sociopath with no regard for others’ feelings but you guys can work on that, probably

•he will cling to you like a puppy if he's in one of his more somber moods, doing things like laying his head on your lap and letting you fiddle with his hair until he gets drowsy

• you both like it when you smell of e/o, washing together and using the same products helps with that lots

• the two of you are not guaranteed to have kids; emotional problems y’know?

• does not let you near his mother, maria lets herself near you though, she loves giving you random gifts and complaining about her son if she remembers he exists; whether you tolerate her or not is up to you

• he notes down random things that remind him of you so he can look or think about them to calm down when he’s feeling destructive

• ooc but if it's winter you're throwing his ass into the snow no questions asked, you maybe regret it when he starts to ominously roll a giant snowball while staring at you without blinking

i wanna braid his hair and put him in pretty clothes...

[thewertsearch]

According to the spectagoggles, there are currently 13 Daves scattered around the incipisphere, including Davesprite. That is an absolutely preposterous amount of Daves.

Interesting that you're picking up two Dream Daves. I'd assumed that all his time-travelling duties would be handled by his realself - especially since Dream Dave is missing his sylladex, and therefore his time machines.

You're also picking up Davesprite, which would have convinced me he was still alive if you weren't also picking up Doomed Dave's corpse.

At least there's only one Dave corpse in play. Small mercies.

Hang on… The Davecount suddenly dropped from 13 to 12. Maybe one of them time traveled away? You hope it doesn't mean what you think it…

Wait, he only died now? I thought he was already dead in the previous image.

Ah, I see what happened - I mistook the section of Quest Bed that Doomed Dave was sleeping on for a pool of blood. He was alive before, which means the spectagoggles don't detect the dead.

But they did detect Davesprite.

You hear that? That's the sound of hope filling my heart.

GG: dave i just saw you, and you were dead! […] TG: […] dont worry it was just a doomed dave no big deal really […] GG: what about your… […] GG: oh no i dont even know if you know about this […] TG: my bro TG: yeah jack killed him too […] GG: is it something you would like to talk about TG: not much to talk about TG: this is some pretty serious existence threatening shit going down and some people are going to die i guess

Dave's reaction is cold, but completely understandable. Bro was by far the least parental of any of the Guardians, treating Dave more like an apprentice to be violently trained than a child to be raised.

He probably doesn't know what he feels about his brother's death - and even if he did, he'd hide it behind his shades, as usual.

GG: you were pretty close with him right? TG: meh it was a pretty bizarre relationship by any standard TG: fightin off wave after wave of face pumicing puppet ass every day TG: always being on guard for stealth attacks in the middle of the night while getting up to go to the fucking bathroom

I also wouldn't be surprised if his feelings were closer to relief than grief. After all, Bro's death is a guarantee that he'll never have to deal with the man's puppet ninja horseshit ever again.

[storiesforallfandoms]

may the best artist win ~ eminem

word count: 1754

request?: yes!

@thatonegirlthatlikesthings “Helllloooo I’ve been all in your page recently and I absolutely love your eminem stories I was wondering if I could request one with him and reader where she’s also a singer and they’re up for the same award and they make a bet between them where whoever wins gets to do whatever to other a little smut

I love you and your writing HAPPY HOLIDAYS 🤟🏽😭😭❤️❤️”

description: in which they both get nominated for the same award and decide to make it a game between them

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (oral, fem receiving, a little degrading but only like one mention)

masterlist (one, two)

Marshall had made it very clear throughout his career what his thoughts on the Grammy’s were. He vowed he would never return to the Grammy’s ceremony, even if he was nominated.

But then you were nominated for Song of the Year at the same time that he was. It was your first time being nominated for a big award show like that, so obviously you were excited. It excited you even more because Marshall was nominated for the same award and you liked the idea of potentially beating him after being nominated for the first time.

“There’s eight other nominees, honey, there’s no guarantee either of us will win,” he reminded you.

“You’re ruining the fun of my fantasy,” you teased. “I want to win my first Grammy after being nominated against my boyfriend. It would bring me so much satisfaction.”

Marshall raised an eyebrow at you. “Oh yeah? Want to place a bet on that?”

His question sparked your interest. “What kind of bet are we talking here?”

“If I win, you blow me in the car ride home.”

You were used to Marshall being very forward about anything sex wise, but it still took you by surprise sometimes. This was one of those times. For some reason, you didn’t expect his terms to the bet to be so outright sexual.

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow. “And what do I get if I win?”

“That’s up to you to decide.”

You took a moment to consider it. If Marshall was going dirty with his, then you wanted to go dirty with yours too. And you wanted it to be just as naughty as him wanting road head on the way home from the award show.

“Okay,” you said. “If I win, you go down on me in the bathroom at the arena.”

He seemed impressed with your decision. “Really? That one is a bit dangerous to try. Are you sure it’s what you want?”

“What, are you scared to do it because you know I’ll win?”

He took hold of your hand and gave it a shake. “You have a deal.”

The night of the Grammy’s came quicker than you expected. As usual, Marshall was wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a jacket and, of course, his signature Kangol hat. You decided to dress up a little, with a somewhat casual dress that came just to your knees. You weren’t concerned over dressing up too much since the two of you were skipping the red carpet anyways.

The worst part about shows like this was that the more important awards, like your Song of the Year, were left until the end of the show, meaning you had to sit through endless speeches and attempts at jokes from the hosts and presenters. If it weren’t for this bet, you’d probably ditch the rest of the show.

At least the performances were good.

When the presenters for Song of the Year came on stage, all thoughts of the bet left your mind and instead you were full of nerves. What if neither of your names were called? Or worse, what if they called your name and you embarrassed yourself while accepting the award? On live television, where everyone in the entire world would see it and it would live on the Internet for the rest of your life.

Noticing your nervousness, Marshall reached over and took your hand. You looked over at him and your nerves almost completely melted away.

You almost missed the announcer calling your name if it wasn’t for your song loudly playing from the speakers and everyone around you looking at you with joy and excitement. It took a minute for the news to register before the excitement set in. You stood from your seat and planted a kiss on Marshall’s lips before making your way to the stage. You were glad now you hadn’t wore a long dress and risked tripping on the way to the stage.

You accepted the award and managed to give a speech that actually sounded coherent through the combination of excitement and nerves you were feeling. You were sure the camera could pick up how much your hands were shaking, but you deserved it given the circumstances. You smiled one more time for the audience and the cameras as the music played you off the stage. You followed the presenters to the backstage area where other artists and producers were conversing. They cheered as you walked in, congratulating you on your win.

You were shocked when Marshall walked up to you, not even noticing that he had left your seats to come back stage. He immediately put a hand on the back of your head and pulled you into another, more passionate congratulatory kiss.

“Why aren’t you in your seat?” you asked, a little dumbly but you were too dazed by excitement and by the sudden kiss.

“I believe we had a bet,” he said. “One that you just won.”

From the minute the presentation for the award started, you had totally forgotten about the bet. You didn’t even have time to gloat to Marshall about you winning over him, nor did think to do so anyways.

But he was right. You did win the bet.

You politely excused yourselves and left the backstage area to find the nearest bathroom. You went in first to make sure no one else was there, and when the coast was clear you opened the door for Marshall to join you. The minute he stepped inside, his lips were on yours again. They were rough and full of lust and passion. Despite having lost the bet, it was like he was just as excited for this outcome as you were.

With your lips still pressed together, Marshall backed you towards the counter. He put his hands on your hips and hoisted you onto the counter, breaking the kiss for just a split second before attacking your lips again. His tongue pressed against your mouth and you opened to let him in. His tongue swirled around your mouth, connecting with yours a few times, before pulling away. You almost grabbed him and pulled him to come back, but stopped when he got down onto his knees in front of you.

You were very glad you wore a short dress.

He didn’t have to push your dress up much since it was already bunched up around your thighs. You had wore a small thong just in case you had won and this was the outcome, which was proving to be a very smart decision on your part.

You gasped as you felt two of his fingers run through your folds, already dripping from the make out session alone.

“You’re already so wet,” he noted. “Just from the idea of me going down on you? You dirty slut.”

You whimpered at the degrading name.

You watched as the bottom part of his face disappeared between your thighs. He eyes were looking up at you as he licked one like stripe from your entrance to your clit. You gasped and reached down to grip his hair. Realizing he still had his hat on, you knocked it to the floor so you could really get a good grip on him.

His hands gripped your thighs, no doubt leaving marks on the sensitive skin. His tongue made quick work of licking at your clit; quick, short strokes mixed with long, slower ones every now and then just to feel you quiver against him. Everyone knew that Marshall was good with his tongue, but you knew just how good he could really be with it.

The brushing of his beard against your inner thighs and your pussy caused a whole new wave of pleasure the run through you. You wanted to watch him while he worked - he looked so concentrated as he devoured your pussy - but your head kept lulling backwards as moans tumbled from your mouth. You knew you should be more quiet since anyone could walk past and hear you, but you weren’t really in the right mind to think about that right now. All you could think about was Marshall’s wet tongue against your swollen clit, and the coil that was beginning to tighten in your stomach.

You tried to push Marshall away. As much as you were enjoying this, you wanted him to fuck you so you could cum on his dick instead. But he resisted your attempts to move away and continued his work.

“M-Marshall, I-I’m gonna...I’m so close,” you stuttered out. “I want you t-to fuck me.”

He looked up at you again and you could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t about to stop any time soon. He was determined to make you cum this way, and that determination was hot enough to set you over the edge. You threw your head back again and let out a cry in pleasure as you felt your orgasm wash over you. You held Marshall’s head in place as he continued to lick over your clit, lapping up your juices.

You rested your head against the mirror behind you and tried to catch your breath. You almost whined when Marshall finally pulled away from your sensitive core, but felt yourself becoming turned on again at the sight of him. His lips were glistening and his beard had some leftovers of your juices on it. He turned on the sink next to you and wet a paper towel in order to wipe his mouth and chin clean.

“I’m surprised you didn’t take up the opportunity to bend me over and fuck me in front of the mirror,” you commented. “I thought it would’ve been really hot to do that. I wanted to feel you inside of me when I came.”

“This was your prize for winning the bet,” he said. “I wanted you to benefit from it.”

You smiled and reached for him. He stood between your legs and gave you a more gentle kiss than the ones you had gotten earlier. You could still taste yourself on his lips, which just helped to turn you on even more once again.

“Well, now that my prize for the bet is over, why don’t you take me home and use me to your relief?” you suggested, looking up at him with the most seductive look you could manage while still coming down from your high.

Marshall smirked at you. “I like the way you think.”

[blond3ang3l]

Lemme give you a megaphone so the ppl in the back can hear you bestie‼️🫶🏽

Like yes I wanna be longingly fucked sideways with fingers down my throat till I’m all teary eyed but….what if me and him just went to a museum and look at marble statues or paintings made by artists from long ago and point out the small details while sharing the historical context behind them. Or what if we held hands while going to a coffee shop owned by a small business then an old bookshop. We could read classic literature and write poems to each other or sum🤷🏾

I love this so much. Like the causal intimacy of being together with your girlfriend/boyfriend and being able to have interesting conversations and spending time with you is what makes doing things like this so great. Both of your phones away in your back pockets so that you both have one another’s attention. Time can go by so fast without the distractions of other people around trying to voice opinions. Learning together and growing together as you both grow older.

There are many different characters I can see this with. Especially when it comes to the women. Most time they are some of the most intellectual people and they just get thrown off. The AOT girls are the first ones that come to mind. Mikasa and Historia especially. Those two would absolutely love to do something casual with you. Historia is an absolute renaissance art lover. Michaelangelo is would be one of her favorite artists. She knows so many facts and can tell you for literal hours. Painting dates ejth Historia oh my lord. One of her favorite things to do. She’s so messy with it and it’s so cute.

Mikasa though? She’s all for cafe dates. She is obsessed with you. Now I think Mikasa and Historia had a bit more fancier taste because of who they are, but Mikasa loved being to be close to you and just hear you talk to her about just about anything. Her pretty nails that you did for her, twisting around your curls as she sat prettily on your lap while you fed the small cake that she bought for you guys.

Another girl I think this works for is Bulma from dragonball. Oh my god that woman is beautiful and smart. Museum dates are 100% guaranteed. She’s one of the smartest characters in that entire show and you think you’re getting out of hearing everything that woman knows? She is so graceful with it too. The two of you walking around hand in hand while she educates you on all the different facts is so amazing. She also loves how much you know on your niche and different interests. Especially if comes things about science or the body. She loves being able to talk to someone on her level or educate you.

When it comes to men the first thing to comes to men first people that come to mind are Nanami and Levi. We all know how Nanami is, he’s the hardworking man that we all love and there’s no way you guys don’t have a museum date at least once. But, I can see nanami doing bakery dates. Something small you both can fit in your busy schedules because nanami had made a vow to himself that you guys do at-least two times a month. He loves to use that time to discuss anything you think has been affecting you guys, whether to be in the relationship or just something bothering you at work or whatever. If there’s nothing bother you then you guys just talk about any events coming up or even planning the future you want to have for the both of you. It’s the ambiance of the bakery that makes you both feel so calm which is so different from the many things you have to do all day. He holds your hand as you speak, rubbing his thumb over your knuckle while watching your lips as he digest every word that comes from your lips.

Levi is totally the bookstore date kind of man. Sometimes you guys don’t really want or have anything to talk about. You just both miss each other so you sit together while reading. Both doing your own thing but being close enough to fill the need of being together. You both have your own books (headcanon that Levi prefers audio books instead cause of his lost of vision) and you rest your hand on his lap as you sit together on the small bench in for bookstore. He is retired so you two take a lot of time to yourselves, just enjoying the presence of one another..

Even people like Captain price and Laswell from call of duty, they love going out to drive in movies with you. You end up sitting on their lap while they laid in the back seat. Halfway through the movie those two aren’t even watchin anymore. Laswell would just be kissing the back of your neck while wrapping her arms around your waist, silently thinking about how lucky she is to have you in her life. While price is just happily watching all perched up in his lap, smoking his cigar, and thinking about how in love he is with you.

———————————————————————

Anyways I love all these ideas and a lot of people currently (especially men) don’t do dates and showing affection like people used to. I feel with how everything is on social media people just mostly look for someone sexually or they base a lot of opinions on the sexual aspect of the relationship. Like yeah that’s great and all but I want someone to YEARN for me. To want to be around me and miss me when I’m gone. Someone willing to remember small things because I feel like when someone knows you well knows what efforts to put in when it comes to loving you and showing you ways they do.

And I’m fortunately lucky enough to have a man like that❤️ @insane-juggalo

[educatedsimps]

HEYA THERE POOKIE BEARS🔥🔥 the voices told me to req for my wife akaashi “What are you doing?” “Striking a sexy pose.” “Well, sit down before you pull something.”

just for shats and giggles ( >o< )/!! i miss my akaashi fics so this will guarantee to fix my crippling depression !!!!

i also might pop in again for an osa fic hehe :33

xoxo,,, saku!!!🌸🌸

≪ back to fics masterlist

akaashi keiji x f!reader

a/n: i’m stupid i thought akaashi was the one striking a sexy pose HAHAHAHA i mean it's possible ... but unlikely 😂 anyway thank you for requesting sakuuu <3 hope this one's okay :,))

cw: timeskip spoilers, STRESSED akaashi, mostly humour, petnames (love, darling, babe), reverse comfort fic?

Akaashi rubbed his eyes as he yawned, feeling a throb of pain right behind his eyes. With strained eyes, he squinted at his laptop screen, and staring back at him were the words "page 206/632". Glancing at the clock on his desk, it read 1:56am. He sighed heavily, laying his head on the table for a second.

His boss' voice echoed endlessly in his head. "Keiji-kun, I hope you won't be too busy this weekend, 'cause I need these editions of the upcoming manga thoroughly checked and edited by Monday morning. I know you've already done a ton of work this week but this is just a little extra, I'm sure you'll be able to meet your deadlines." And with a dismissive wave, his boss had left the office.

The "little extra" Akaashi's boss was referring to was a folder of documents, each one a few hundred pages long. It wasn't the worst Akaashi had ever seen, but it was still a lot.

Don't get him wrong, Akaashi loved his job and he absolutely adored the mangas that they release, alongside the Tenma Udai. But recently, he'd been hounded by so many of his executives as well as the various departments of the company that he could hardly get a breather.

He wasn't a stranger to dark circles - they'd been a constant in his life ever since his third year of high school. Except they'd become deeper and darker than the abyss these past few weeks. He was stressed and exhausted, to say the least. Which was exactly why you decided that it had to stop today.

You had been encouraging your boyfriend to be more assertive at work, especially if he knew he couldn't meet - according to you - the "ridiculous and unreasonable" deadlines set for him. You had been looking out for him even more these few weeks too, taking over more of the house chores so he'd have time to complete all his work, taking over all the meal preps so he'd be fed while he did his work. Most importantly, you had been trying to drill it into his thick skull that his brain and body need a break, and so does he.

Unfortunately, your efforts hadn't been as effective as you had hoped, so you came up with the brilliant idea to order a massive, blow up Patrick Star costume online.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Walking into the office room the two of you had set up in your apartment, you saw him tiredly rubbing his eyes and laying his head on the table. Strutting up to him, you planted your feet in a wide stance with one hand on your hip, and the other reaching towards your leg such that your body was bent at the waist.

Your poor boyfriend looked up to see you striking said pose in the blow up Patrick Star costume, a corset around your torso, rocking 6-inch stilettos with fishnet tights down your legs. To top it all off, it wasn't even your beautiful face that greeted him, it was the bright-eyed cheery face of the damn pink starfish.

Akaashi was absolutely sure he was hallucinating. Probably going insane. Deranged, even.

"Y-y/n?" his voice cracked.

"How do I look, babe?" you asked from inside Patrick Star, voice slightly muffled.

"What... What are you doing?"

"Striking a sexy pose," you replied nonchalantly, still in position.

Dumbfounded, Akaashi's brain was short-circuiting. "Ohmyg- Well, sit down before you pull something..." he facepalmed.

"HEy! I'm not that inflexible, okay? I'm disappointed you think so low of my athleticism," you scoffed, crossing your arms - which were still in your puffy costume - and turning your nose up.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, darling," Akaashi chuckled, amused. You hummed in acknowledgement, satisfied.

"C'mere," he said, rolling his chair over to you before pulling you down onto his lap. Unzipping your costume at the neck, you pulled it back to reveal your face, smiling gently at him. He looked even more haggard up close, and it made your heart squeeze seeing just how spent he looked.

"What's all this for, darling?" Akaashi laughed quietly, puling at the ends of your costume.

"Well," you drawled, hooking an arm over his shoulder. "Since someone hasn't been taking my advice, I decided to take matters into my own hands and resort to more... extreme measures."

Letting out a breath, he relented, "I know... I'm sorry, love. I just get really caught up with work and I don't really know how not to stress about all of it."

Placing a hand on each side of his face, you planted a kiss on his forehead and murmured, "It's okay, Keiji. It's not your fault your bosses have unreasonable expectations of you. You're just too good of an employee." You joked. "But I'm serious, you need rest. This has been going on for way too long. It's already 2am and you know you can't finish all this by tomorrow morning, so let's just go to sleep already, okay? I'll even help explain to your boss why you couldn't finish this last document. Like, I'll literally call him up right now and tell him he's crazy if he seriously expected you to burn your weekends just for his stupid-"

"No- babe, please don't. I'll handle it, I promise," Akaashi interrupted, gripping your waist as if he could physically stop you from getting agitated.

"Good," You said, content. "You can talk to me if you're feeling overwhelmed, you know that, right?" When he nodded, you placed a small kiss on his nose.

"Now, I don't wanna see any more overworked, underpaid, stressed and exhausted Keiji. I wanna see my well-rested, de-stressed, happy Keiji. Okay?" You continued, pouting.

"Yes, ma'am," your boyfriend replied before standing from his chair with you in his arms. "Now, let's get you changed into your comfy pyjamas and we'll both get some rest, yeah?"

"Yeah," you smiled as his lips pressed against yours.

a/n: the term wife akaashi is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of this week HAHAH

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[cynthiav06]

I have a Question.

I'm just know finding out about percy jackson and was wondering...

Is this book series worth reading?

Even though it's almost like 10 years old?

I'm really late finding out about it

And what things should I look out for in the Fandom and the books?

Oh my, am I really going to be the one to introduce you to Percy Jackson Series? What an honor! 100%, yes, you should absolutely read it. The main series, at least for sure.

There's some serious drama going on in the fandom right now over certain sequels but the orignal series is perfection.

If you are looking for a fast-paced, action-adventure sort of thing but with tons of humor, then that's the series for you. There's a romantic sub-plot as well if you are interested in that. Percy is one of the sassiest main characters ever and one of the best main characters of all time to date, period.

All the characters are great and nuanced (stick to the main series for this), and it's an awesome mix of fun , trauma, and battles. And no one, no one in the entirety of fandom will ever say they regretted reading the series. The only reason everyone is so furious at the later sequels is because we absolutely adored the main series and want a fitting continuation. Now, this main series I keep talking about refers to Percy Jackson and the Olympians, which is the first set. Five books in this order:

The Lightning thief

Sea of Monsters

The Titan's Curse

Battle of the Labyrinth

The Last Olympian

Now my advice is that you read certain short stories like The Stolen Chariot, The Bronze Dragon, and the Sword of Hades before The Last Olympian. Personally, I think you can skip the Bronze Dragon, but the other two, especially the Sword of Hades, are a must-read.

There are post main series short stories too, but I won't overwhelm you with them right now.

After this, when (not if) you fall absolutely in love with the series, you can read Heroes of Olympus series [also 5 books], which is the second set. It's a direct continuation of the first series. There's some whacky stuff here and there, which means there are a few problems with certain characterizations, but ultimately, it's worth it. You would have to be a super serious fan to be bothered by it, so don't worry about it. It's all great. Heroes of Olympus gets really, really good in the middle, and personally, you should absolutely read it cause you would be missing out on a whole lot of greatness if you don't.

There are other book series taking place in the same universe and lots of fun cross-overs, if you like that sort of thing.

The fandom is a great place if you want for super cool headcanons or great character analysis or great au fanfics, and so on. A few characters have toxic stans, I won't mention which characters cause you might be put off by that during reading; these stans are mainly involved in the ships' monopoly. There are many ships and you can ship whoever you want really but some of the blind fandom is a bit touchy feely regarding their pairings so yeah try not to get involved in those if you want a fun time and a peace of mind( mainly cause you won't have to deal with toxic stans) ; unless you want to cause chaos instead (join the party), which is where the real fun is.

You are going to completely and absolutely love this series, I guarantee you. Take my word on it. Have fun, and if you have a blog here, would love to know your personal reviews after reading each book.

[theghostsarefriendly]

fic where nico and will end up at the waystation and meet Emmy and Jo and nico has a happy breakdown because holy shit these are happy old queer people who fought against every odd and MADE IT. not just leaving the hunters, they wouldve been 'young' women when they left so for them to be in their 60's now they would have had to been in a relationship at least 40 years ago, including the AIDs epidemic.

consciously, he knew things were better for queer people now. but to see it? to see the space these two have been able to carve out for themselves and lead a happy life? to maybe think about how he could have that with will someday? when earlier in his life the idea of him being allowed that love would be inconceivable? have i asked enough rhetorical questions?

extra leo&nico friendship sprinkled in because i love them and also im not sure leo has even been informed they are dating. like he missed nico coming out entirely lmao. bro was busy being 'dead.'

will wouldnt be AS affected because he didnt have to grow up in the 30's and overcome as much internalized homophobia, but its still a moment for him. Gods is he thinking about him and nico's future together now.

it could also be written by the original non-changed-with-time books timeline where Percy was born in 1993 and the books take place in the 2000's and 2010's before gay marriage was legal in the US for extra emotion factor.

ANYWAYS old lgbt+ people make me feel So Many Things and i feel like they would make nico feel Things too. i regret to inform you i am almost guaranteed to never write this. if someone else likes the idea or parts of it they are absolutely free to use it!

[azrielwingspan]

LET IT BURN (Mob!Bucky x f!reader)

PART- 1

Summary: You were a woman in a mans world and you wanted to be on top. Unfortunately, the man on top is hell bent on keeping his position and you. When two highly ambitious people meet, the world tends to burn.

Warnings : None....for now.

A/N: Hello hello hellooooo. This is my first Bucky fic and I really hope you guys enjoy this. Didn't mean for it to be a multi part fic but it seems things are going in that direction. Let me know if you like it!

"Remind me again Edith. Why exactly am I supposed to watch my mouth around this buffoon?"

"His name is Bucky, Y/N. Please. He has the East in his grip. We need a way in. Connect the dots." Edith pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger trying her best not to strangle you.

You held in a giggle at her exasperated state and tried to put forward your best behaviour.

Kind of.

A little.

A very minute amount.

Ugh, who were you kidding? You were definitely not looking forward to this meeting. The issue wasn't the matter to be discussed. The issue was that you had to pretend to be someone else to satisfy 'Bucky's' ego.

"Alright. Alright. I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Running your hands over your black halter neck full length gown, you admired yourself in the mirror. If you could whistle, you would have.

"Just make sure your best behavior isn't the worst he's faced."

Tsk. Good point. You reapplied your red lipstick and wiped away an excess smudge with the tip of your nail.

"Let's go." you walked away from Edith, your PA, making sure to revise the plans in your head. There would be nothing more embarrassing than to forget the specifics of the deal you were going to cut. A woman in a mans world was a tough place to be. You had to be ten times smarter, bolder and sharper than the men. Even then, success wasn't guaranteed.

The doors to the meeting room were open revealing to you the man whose world you wanted to conquer.

You weren't blind. The man standing in front of you was the definition of attractive. It wasn't just the face either. It was the confidence and arrogance oozing out of him that made you run your eyes over his form. At least he would be easy on the eyes.

"Miss Y/N. Pleasure." Bucky held out his hand staring at you expectantly. A pleasant smile played along his face, softening the sharp angles.

Calloused. A man who likes to get his hands dirty. You thought to yourself as you shook his hand and reflected the smile being shot your way.

"Mr. Buf--Bucky." Shit. "I trust the end to this meeting will be as pleasant as the start."

"Hopefully, even better." he said , a hint of suggestion lacing his tone.

You almost scoffed at the suggestion and snatched your hand away making your way to the chair.

"This will take but two minutes, Y/N."

You stopped abruptly before the chair, watching Bucky in the mirror on the wall across. He stalked forwards, placing one hand in his pocket, the other tracing the table adjacent to him. Your eyes caught onto the movement of his fingers and the deliberate slowness with which he traced the edge of the table. His gaze however, was locked onto your reflection in the mirror.

He was keeping track you realized. He wanted to notice every flicker of emotion, every twitch of your body and every catch of your breath as he spoke to you.

A man who liked being in absolute control.

"So you've made up your mind before hearing my proposal then?" you asked meeting his gaze in the mirror.

He stopped a few feet away tilting his head and letting a taunting smile grace his face. It almost seemed predatory. Almost.

"I did not make my way to the top by not knowing the intentions of others Y/N. I make it a point to know everything."

"And..?"

Rapping a knuckle against the table, he continued his saunter towards you, this time stopping a few inches from your back. "I have one condition. Just one. Agree to it and you have unrestricted access to my ports and my men."

A shiver ran up your spine and alarm bells went off in your head. This was bad. Something was very very wrong.

Maintaining your calm facade, you asked "What is this condition?"

Bucky leaned closer , his face adjacent to yours. Your gazes clashed in the mirror, his blue eyes honing in on yours with a predatory glint. Neither of you looked away as he bought his lips to your ear and whispered softly "I want the key to your empire."

Well, shit.

[becauseplot]

It’s been days but I can’t stop thinking about qPhil’s silent rage when he gets the photos of his eggs from the black concrete chests. Everyone here has already said every possible thing to describe how incredible it is and yeah it just,,, MAN. The way Phil is so slow to anger. Like, and I mean TRUE anger. I don’t mean frustration or exasperation, coated with eyerolls and sarcasm.

So when he does get really, truthfully, genuinely mad he goes quiet. Eerily silent. None of his usual chuckles or groans. Stripped of his usual joking, jovial undertone, his words come out clipped. Harsh. Short. Flat. Little bowshots flying from his mouth. Least amount of syllables possible.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” he says to Bad. And him snapping at Bad is a ‘mild reaction’ all things considered, and Bad forgives him immediately, but to Phil, he is teetering on a precipice of absolutely losing it.

You can see the way he's trying to hold it all in by his jerky, sharp movements, overly efficient, deliberate. Message Cellbit. Warp to the Favela. Take the elevator down to the Ordo. March across the hall. Enter the meeting room. All but slam the door behind him. All but collapse into the nearest chair. I don’t think his hands shake when he passes the new photos over to Cellbit, not quite, but if you were to put your palm to his arm you would probably be able to feel the wire-taut muscles underneath, tense. A cord ready to snap at any moment

But it won’t snap. He can't afford to snap, there's too much to do. I can only think of two other times he's actually lost it: (1) fight against the impersonator codes at the election dinner, where his rage was one of his best allies in that fight, and (2) the birdhouse, clawing at Cucurucho and begging for anything, anything that tells him his kids are safe; and he didn't have to worry about breaking down then because there was literally nothing else he could have done in that situation. He had nothing else to do but cry.

So here he is, at the Ordo, with photos of his missing kids scared and alone and separated and they still don't know anything, not really, they just have more evidence that creates even more questions, spider-webbing out and out and out and never, ever giving them what they so desperately need: answers. Something solid. Steady ground to put their feet on. Any sort of guarantee, no matter how small, that they'll ever see their kids alive and well again.

And, "I'm furious," he says, casual, simple, unassuming. Fucking hell.

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.7

In which nobody is happy and everything is pain

Wuh oh, the worst chapter of Taylor's life has just received a series of footnotes that provide further context, and none of them are making her feel any better

And now things are getting even worse

Hey Colin, looks like you've lost some weight, trying something new with the asymmetrical look?

Also I like how even Taylor's paranoid ass is like "no you know what, they didn't need to know Sophia was a superhero for them to fuck me over"

Really copping it up in here, huh you two?

This is bad for everybody. A supervillain who's taken explicit actions against the PRT and Protectorate has discovered the identity of a Ward, and a teenage girl is being surrounded and lambasted by adults who could make her life Hell with very little effort.

God, Birdcage would be nightmarish, especially with Lung in there probably nursing the mother of all grudges

Also, interesting that Taylor changing her mind translates to Armsmaster as her being a master manipulator and spinner of lies. There's no possible way that she stopped trying to be a hero because he acted like a gigantic asshole the second time they met or something.

Skitter has gotten the absolute worse perspective that the heroes can offer, so she's suffering a biased stance here, but even without that her anti-authority streak is way too strong to tolerate it for long

Don't throw a fucking shitfit, Colin

You're an adult, fucking act like one

Yaaaaaaay, the crew's alright and they're backing Skitter up, there's no way this immediately blows up

Grue is making himself look bigger in this moment, scarier, more authoritative. If I'm understanding right that means he's way on the fucking edge about all of this and feeling tense and a little scared.

Glad Regent got out of it with only some stitches, wonder if that cut is anything noteworthy or if he just got gouged by some glass or shrapnel or something

Bitch is handling things about as well as could be expected

Hey Tattletale, glad you're not dead

Oh boy!

Sophia would fucking lunge across the tent and go for the murder attempt then and there, I'm pretty sure

Also, Legend is technically right, insofar as Taylor has made a lot of situations more difficult by digging her heels in

Unfortunately, he would.

Look at her getting her little debut to the Protectorate leader

The greatest asset and weakness of the Protectorate: image

These people are about to get their shit rocked by a teenager with access to a PA system and I'm not convinced they didn't bring this on themselves

Also, love an ultimatum, very heroic

Tattletale you're so cool and real for this

We love an ultimatum, very villainous

Colin, you dumbfuck

I think the most damning part of this conversation is that Miss Militia literally doesn't have any trouble connecting the dots

There's the setup

And there's the knockdown. Armsmaster has once again been outplayed by a teenager, and now the best thing to do is probably to quit while he's behind

So of course he decides to double and triple down

Let's review facts here

Armsmaster is a grown-ass man who is really upset that a pack of teenagers are beating him

He has admitted, out loud, that he broke truce conditions and got villains killed in order to try and get a moment of glory

He knows full well that at least two of the Undersiders have killed before and may kill again if suitably motivated, such as, I don't know, finding out a teammate tried to betray them

So with everything in consideration

he throws a tantrum that could get a girl killed because of wounded pride

This hurts, a lot

Also hey early hint that Tattletale knows what's up

Panacea like "wow this girl is some kind of disaster, thank god my worldview guarantees that I'm way better than her"

Also Jesus fucking Christ what a way to end the chapter

Current Thoughts

God fucking dammit Colin, you could literally get a teenager killed because you had to throw a fucking tantrum over how you got your kill stolen and your super cool plan to win glory and recover lost pride got foiled by the common fucking sense of "you can't kill an Endbringer"

I know that isn't what happens, but hey guess what he doesn't know Taylor's story goes for another twenty-plus chapters, he's willing to roll those dice because his feewings got huwt

I hope they make him choke on whatever book ends up thrown at him for this

[cultofcreatures]

My Top 15 Vaporwave Horror Movies

I thought I would put together a list of vaporwave/dreamcore/liminal aesthetic horror movies that I find to feel outside of time and space. That's sort of my vibe here on tumblr, and I also like the mantra of "if there's something you want to see that no one has made yet, make it yourself." These are films that I personally love, and the list not meant to be definitive. Remember also that art is subjective. I hope someone out there finds at least one film they want to add to their watchlist! It's been a minute since I've seen some of them, so let me know if I need to correct something.

15. Mandy (2018)

I wish I could add pictures for all of these entries, but I can still only add 10 pictures to a post blah. It's such a shame because I wanted to show off that gorgeous aesthetics of all these films. Oh well. This is a revenge flick about a cult kidnapping Nick Cage's girlfriend and him losing his marbles about it. Definitely recommend if you're the mood for vibes and/or Nick Cage NickCageing.

TW: violence, blood, fire

14. Come True (2020)

This is a haunting, fantastic vibes movie. It feels so otherworldly. It's about a homeless young person participating in a sleep study to be able to safely get some sleep. It would be an almost perfect film if it weren't for the just garbage ending. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, just skip the last 5 minutes, and take it for what the rest of the film is: beautiful.

13. Braid (2018)

This film follows a couple of young drug dealers on the run from their supplier crashing at a mentally unwell friend's house. The catch is they have to play along with their host's unhinged "game" while they hide out. Not gonna lie, this film is trippy af and definitely not for everyone. I can guarantee that no matter what, it is a ride.

TW: heavy drug use, blood

12. Perfect Blue (1997)

A pop star retires to become a full-time actor, which angers some of her fans. Her sense of reality becomes warped when one obsessive fan begins to stalk her. I don't love some of the turns this movie takes when it comes to mental health, but it's hard to deny this film is classic that has stunning animation.

TW: negative depictions of mental disorders, violence, blood

11. Skinamarink (2022)

This controversial found footage movie is sort of hard to describe because it's so otherworldly. Basically, two kids wake up one night to find their dad and all of their doors and windows are missing. Everything about this nostalgic yet terrifying film is vibes and aesthetic: liminal, vaporwave, voidcore, dreamcore, you name it. It feels like a fever dream, and it's a nightmarish journey you won't soon forget, for better or worse.

10. Vivarium (2019)

A couple are looking for a home to share. They follow a strange realtor to an even stranger labyrinthine neighborhood that seems to have no escape. If you're into liminal spaces, this film will definitely scratch that itch for you.

9. Revenge (2017)

This is a r*pe revenge tale that has absolutely beautiful scenery and cinematography. I love the sweeping liminal landscapes and vibrant vaporwave colors. It's a standard plot as far as the genre goes, but it's directed by a woman, so it has a different angle that I find to be superior to most films of the genre.

TW: violence, gore, SA, blood

8. Don't Worry Darling (2022)

A 1950s housewife begins to suspect that something about her utopian community is not what it seems. This film seems to be a bit controversial, too, for some reason. Whatever the case may be, I adore the liminality and dreamy feel of this film. You really get a sense that this world is outside of time and space.

7. It Follows (2014)

This film is straight up about a sexually transmitted curse. Jay sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time, and then finds out she must outpace this demon that can take the shape of anyone forever lest it kill her, or she must pass the curse on to someone else. The shots in this film are to die for. Especially for connoisseurs of the liminal, vaporwave, and dreamcore. Highly recommend for the visuals and music alone.

TW: gore, blood

6. House (1977)

Gorgeous decides to stay with her aunt to hopefully get closer with a group of six of her friends. The girls come to find her aunt's house is more than meets the eye. The visuals and absurdity are what make this movie. It's a classic for a reason.

TW: cartoon gore

5. Akira (1988)

Tetsuo gains psychic abilities via a secret military project and becomes mad with power. It's up to his friends and a small group of psychics to stop him. This is another classic anime. Its 1980s futuristic mentality really lends itself to the vaporwave atmosphere of the cityscape. I highly recommend this classic if you haven't seen it.

TW: violence, body horror

4. Censor (2021)

Enid is a serious film censor with a shrouded past that includes her long-missing sister. She watches a film that bears eerie resemblance to her vague childhood memories that begin to take hold of her as tries to piece them together. I don't think I'm totally clear on when this film takes place, which is what I love about it. It has a spooky surreal quality that will both draw you in and unsettle you.

TW: violence, blood

3. She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Amy is convinced she is going to die tomorrow. Her friend Jane comes by to comfort her, and then becomes consumed by the thought she will die tomorrow as well. This film is as strange as it is beautiful. It will either leave you in tears or confused af or both.

TW: blood

2. The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse is a very young, gifted model who is new in town (probably LA). She quickly signs with an agent and begins getting gigs, breeding the contempt of the established models around her. This is probably one of the most visually appealing films I've ever seen. The music is on point. The low key acting is a vibe. I just adore this film. 10/10, highly recommend.

TW: gore, blood

1. The Platform (2019)

A man wakes up in a prison that is an indescribable liminal pit where there are a seemingly never-ending number of levels. A platform full of food is lowered through each level once a day, and everyone on the lower levels must fight to survive. This film is just so utterly anticapitalist and gorgeous that I can't help but sing its praises. I think everyone should watch this movie at least once. It is horrifying yet eye-opening. Certainly one of my favorite films of all time.

TW: gore, violence, blood

Thank you for reading my list! Like I said, I wanted to make a list like this because I couldn't find one when I went looking. I hope you found something to add to your watchlist! I tried to include some of the big TWs for these movies, but they're far from complete lists. So please check websites like doesthedogdie.com for more complete TW lists if you have any concerns. Make decisions that are right for you. Thanks again, and have a happy and safe new year! xx

[singingcicadas]

Every time I see something along the lines of "Megatron was a slave because he was oppressed and forced to work in the mines, forced labour is slavery and oppression is slavery so what happened to Megatron was obviously slavery" a question mark pops up in my head and it's so fucking funny because. Social studies. History. Basic literary analysis skills.

Like I'm gonna be assuming whoever's in the 'Megatron was a slave' camp is talking about idw1 and tfp b/c those are the only two continuities that have Megatron coming from an oppressed background in depth. If it's idw1 then how could anyone miss the obvious communism reference in Megatron Origin? (Guaranteed it's a loose, twisted, villifying, Western-lensed, not-very-good reference, but point is that it's OBVIOUS and unmistakably RECOGNIZABLE.) Workers' revolt ring a bell? It's the first issue in the collection volumes so even if people run out of patience without finishing anything they should have been able to at least get through that before, y'know, making unfounded claims about canon. And the stuff I'm talking about should've been evident in the first chapter. Were the miners upset because they were forced to work in the mines? No, they were upset because the government was closing the mines and laying them off and replacing them with automation; they were upset because soon there would be no mines left for them to work and then they would starve.

'Slavery is forced labour' yeah but uh that's only one facet of it. Forced labour because of livelihood: 'I have to work here b/c it's the only job that's available to me and I have no means of obtaining the skills/licence/opportunity for a different job or bettering my circumstances, if I quit I'll have no income/food/shelter and starve out on the streets' is fundamentally different from forced labour due to state institution of ownership over people: 'I have to work here because I am the private property of the facility owner and am forbidden by law to leave or quit.'

Does anyone like, not see the difference between the two scenarios? Only the latter would be slavery since it has the defining characteristics of 1. legalization of the ownership of people and 2. restriction of liberty. In concurrence. The first scenario's just describing what every fucking exploited worker/peasant/wage-earning lowclass commoner in the world looks like, it's called proletarianism. It's a completely different class category in a completely different social structure that's in no way interchangeable or confusable with slavery unless you want to say that communist revolutions were done by slaves and every wage worker in the industrial revolution was a slave. why not go back further while at it and serfdom can be slavery feudalism is slavery indentureship corvee conscription are all slavery lmao way to rewrite history.

For the people who's only read MTMTE and nothing else there's even a specific scene in there that says this 🔽

This is talking about Rewind. The text literally gives us what used to be the equivalent in Cybertronian society and it's clearly not Megatron's class. And why was Rewind's class equated to slaves? Because they were considered disposable tools, not sentient people. The Ambus Test helped them get rights by proving their sentience as people, which further proves that they don't keep sentient people as slaves.

If it's TFP then did anyone notice that Megatron started as a miner but met Optimus as a gladiator? If he was so absolutely forced to work in the mines as a slave then how was he allowed to leave?

This is how Covenant of Primus describes Megatron going to work in the mines. It's "the only opening available to him". It doesn't say that he's assigned a master at birth and was legally obligated to go work in that opening on pain of punishment. Just implies that he'd be out of a job and income and would probably starve if he didn't. There's still an illusion of choice, of free will.

The closest thing Aligned had to slavery was the Quintession occupation era but the Covenant also spent a whole section talking about how it started out as a mutually beneficial relationship with the Quintessions presenting themselves as the more advanced race and Cybertronians eagerly accepting them as 'masters' (honourific term, not literal) in a pseudo colonizer-who-civilized-the-indigenous-barbarians-and-used-them-for-cheap-labour dynamic which got more and more exploitational as time went on until the Cybertronians had enough and drove them off. But even during the peak of occupation the Quintessions were still careful to give Cybertron the pretense of sovereignty. It was the Quintessions who introduced them to the electoral system and inaugurated the office of the Prime in the first place. The illusion of free will and equality was always there, despite everyone knowing otherwise.

Exodus is extremely clear in describing Cybertron as a birth-defined caste system with rigid hierarchy and little mobility. So that's exactly what it is. a caste system. Not a slave society. There's a reason they're different words, they're different concepts! I don't get why people would feel the need to replace one with the other, does slavery sound better? edgier? Is the purpose for making Megatron an ex-slave to have his backstory sound more tragic? to induce more sympathy? idc people are free to headcanon what they want but at least have the decency to refrain from framing it as canon and bashing other characters with it? Stuff like 'oh Optimus was so selfish/naive/entitled/stupid/insensitive/traitorous/opportunist/privileged to accept the prime title in front of Megatron the poor ex-slave' nevermind that Megatron had repeatedly expressed a desire for taking power through whatever cruel means necessary and was perfectly eager to become prime when he thought he was the one going to be chosen? Nevermind that the council offered up a chance for implementing all the social changes they wanted through legal means with the least amount of bloodshed and Megatron threw it all away b/c he didn't get to be in charge, by committing murder on the spot? Nevermind that 'Megatron the poor ex-slave' is a massive bigoted racist who looks down on Optimus' job and is disgusted by minicons and combiners and insecticons as well as being a devout believer of 'survival of the fittest and the rest don't deserve to live' -type social darwinism and a domestic terrorist happy to blow up factories full of his own caste members and places full of innocent people? Nevermind that Megatron and Optimus already had a deep rift between them because of Megatron betraying Optimus' trust by lying about his role in the bombings and Optimus already recognizing that their methods were never going to match up b/c of Megatron's disregard of innocent life and Megatron never really trusting Optimus anyway? As if making Megatron a slave somehow excuses all of that and pins all the blame on Optimus.

[rebornologist]

I'm back! Delivering what I promised, just a few thoughts. Enjoy xx

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o? ✧ characters: Giotto, Daemon Spade warnings: mentions of Daemon's willingness to do anything for his s/o

♡ Giotto knew that he loved his s/o when he wanted to marry them. He’s not a traditional man  by any sense, but he was quite formal in courting them, and is traditional in this one aspect of his life—wanting to live the rest of his life deeply intertwined with his s/o, and maybe even have a family down the line.. not just the mafia kind.

Giotto seemed a bit stressed lately. He's overworked, as usual, and not particularly sunny, which was a bummer, because the spring wildflowers were in full bloom.

୨୧ ˳⁺✧

The radio plays quietly as the two of you drive out to your favorite picnic spot. Despite everything, he makes time for you. You appreciate every minute with him because of it. The silent is cut by the sweet sound of his voice.

“Hypothetically, when do you think is a good time to get married?”

You blink, wide eyes pausing your leisure activity of taking in the beautiful gardens you were currently being driven through.

"Par..don..?" You turn your head around to see your partner's stoic face still facing the road.

He chuckles lightly, "oh.. is it.. too early to ask? Even hypothetically-"

"No, no, it's not too early for us to be talking about this kind of thing," you insist, shifting fully in your seat to face him. "You aren't asking because you're going to propose to me on our picnic, right?"

He blinks, once, twice. You stifle a giggle at his blank expression. He's as readable as ever, he didn't plan on it, he didn't even think of it. He might steal that idea for the future, though.

♡ Daemon Spade knew that he loved his s/o when he felt completely under their spell—something not common for a man like him, it’s usually the other way around. He went to sleep every night with the realization gnawing at his insides, growing, practically festering, knowing that he would absolutely kill and die for them.

Your partner is not a peaceful sleeper, and often lies awake in the middle of the night next to you. He does not usually sleep well, but at least he doesn't get as many nightmares when he's with you. You've recently begin to wonder what your significant other is up to when you're asleep and he is awake. Even more when you are asleep and he is not even by your side.

୨୧ ˳⁺✧

"Daemon-"

"Yes, precious thing?" He answers without missing a beat. The two of you were getting ready for a dinner party. You enjoyed going out with him, meeting all types of people in every sphere of life and observing your enigmatic boyfriend in some pretty strange social situations.

You snort quietly, amused at his quick response.

"Have you ever killed for me?"

He pauses, expression unreadable. "Isn't the question usually, would you..." he turns to gaze curiously at his lover, who is currently shrugging a long coat on over their evening attire. You adjust their hair casually, looking into the large vanity mirror in front of you.

"I know the answer to that already. Whether you've done it yet, is the question," you make eye contact with him in the reflection. He feels an indescribable tightness in his chest.

"If you were aware of the former matter, I can guarantee.. you already know the latter," he sighs, wondering what magic string of fate brought him to such an otherworldly being.

I don't love DS at all, and I find 1st gen really difficult to write for, but I'm fascinated by the concept of Daemon Spade, or any of the immoral, downright nasty characters, with a partner that are also mysterious and morally grey. Not a common ship dynamic to fight angst and evil w/ more angst and evil.

[thebiggerbear]

Only Ever Holding Onto You - Two - Near Miss

A/N: Here is Chapter 2. I hope this is okay. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own. My beta was able to give me some notes but was unable to give it a full workup this time around so I apologize.

Song for the dance is "In the Still Of the Night" by The Five Satins. I couldn't stop listening to it while writing.

Warnings: language; them being idiots; a bit of angst

Word Count: 7225

Series Masterlist

Series Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @rieleatiel

Sighing, you stepped out of your car and glared at your destination: The Boot Heel Bar. You had no issue with the place but you were not exactly in the mood to socialize with your coworkers tonight, a certain ice princess named Hoyt specifically, but here you were. All because Beau urged you to come. You were an idiot and you swore that the man knew it, always utilizing this fact to his advantage and much to your detriment. You could never tell him no, not when he used that face and that tone, so after work you had gone home to change and now here you stood, scowling at the entrance to the local dive bar you all frequented.

You forced yourself to take a deep breath and remember that you only needed to play along nicely for the hour you planned to stay. You also rallied yourself with the thought that Beau owed you a few rounds since you picked up the tab the last time everyone met for a drink. You felt even more bolstered when you remembered that the cute and flirty bartender from last time might be working tonight and perhaps he’d buy you a shot like last time. Aiden — that was his name. That perked you right up and you made your way inside.

Music was blasting loudly from the corner where the jukebox was playing and the place was nearly packed. You scanned the large room and spotted the group of your coworkers surrounding a table in the back. One glance at the bar had you smiling when you saw the bartender you had been looking for. You snuck a peek at your group who hadn’t noticed your presence yet, and you made the decision to head straight to the bar first to get your drink. You didn’t do yourself up and change into this eye-catching outfit and killer heels for nothing.

You were just starting to slink over when you heard someone yell your name. You knew immediately who it was and you closed your eyes in defeat. Despite your best efforts, the group had seen you. After a moment of steeling yourself to face the people you had been trying to avoid for at least a few minutes, you spun around to find Beau making his way towards you, a huge grin on his face and a drink in his hand. 

“Hey,” he greeted you happily. “You made it!” He gave you a one-armed hug and you couldn’t help but smile, happy to see him as well. You may not have been in the mood to see anyone else from the department tonight but you would always want to see your best friend. 

Beau pulled back, giving you a once over. “Damn, darlin’, you are gorgeous.” 

You gave him a playful swat on his chest, frowning. “Are you saying I’m not without all of this?”

“What? No,” he chuckled nervously. “No, what I meant was…you know…you’re more gorgeous than usual…right now… I don’t…” He gave up and took a sip of the drink he had, opting not to say any more that might get him in trouble.

“Calm down, slugger,” you laughed. “I’m just messing with you.” Seeing relief play out over his features, you gave him the once over. He had a nice button-up on with jeans and his usual boots. It also looked like he may have swung by the barber’s after work. “Not bad. You clean up pretty well, Arlen. You have a hot date tonight or what?”

A pink tint rose in his cheeks and it nearly made you laugh again. Beau Arlen was blushing, actually blushing. You knew all of that talk from him about men from Texas not blushing was absolute horseshit. But then you remembered who his hot date might be and you no longer felt like laughing. You hadn’t seen Hoyt at first glance around, but if Beau was here, she was guaranteed to be. This was her favorite bar after all, which she made sure to tell anyone who would listen ten times over the last night there had been a work get together, after she’d drank half the inventory of the place. Beau had ended up driving her home that night though both Cassie and Poppernak had offered. She had been barely able to walk so you could only imagine how elated she must have been when Beau must have needed to scoop her up in his arms and carry her to bed. The thought turned into a stone in the pit of your stomach; you did your best to ignore it.

“Not a hot date really. Well, it’s not a date.” You arched your brows in surprise, not expecting him to finally admit what had fast become an unspoken truth around the department at this point, the whole town really. Even Denise was taking bets on when Beau and Hoyt would officially come out as a couple. Cassie kept quiet each time Denise mentioned it, but you knew she did that out of respect for you, knowing how you and the blonde couldn’t stand one another and all.

Beau, seeing your reaction, began to panic. “No, what I mean is, she’s hot. No, I mean she is but not the date. But there is no date. I don’t…God help me,” he finished in a groan. He then sucked more alcohol down, opting to stay quiet again.

And there it was. Exactly what had been the strain between you both for the past six months, everything you had been fighting about. It felt like you had been sucker-punched though you knew it had been coming. You stared at your best friend, really looking at him, and a feeling of sadness overtook you for a moment. He deserved so much better, he was such a good man, and yet here he was, willingly throwing himself into the lion’s open mouth to be devoured. You hadn’t had the urge to pray in the longest time, but you were pretty close right now to starting up again. The only silver lining was that Emily liked Hoyt (for reasons unbeknownst to you) and due to that fact, there seemed to be a truce now between the latter and Carla. And even if his relationship with Hoyt interfered with your friendship, Beau still had Cassie as a close friend who treated him well. Yeah, good ol’ silver linings. Silver — that reminded you of Patron and that snapped you out of your thought track enough to be able to finally move out of your frozen state. “I’m going to the bar to get a drink. I’ll meet you back at the table.”

Beau’s brows furrowed in question and he gestured to the half empty glass in his hand. “This is your drink.”

“The drink you’ve been gulping down the last two minutes?” You took more notice of the glass and it was indeed one of your favorite drinks. You felt bad that you hadn’t noticed it earlier when he first greeted you.

The pink tinge was back in his cheeks and it made you smile. If nothing else, it was cute and you enjoyed pulling this reaction out of him. Just something else you could tease him over at some point. “Sorry, darlin’. I panicked and just drank it without thinking. But I did get this for you. Let me go get another one and bring it over to you.”

Oh, no way were you going to sit near the smug undersheriff who appeared to be officially now under the sheriff without having some form of a liquid bumper. Besides, you deserved at least one flirty wink from Aiden the cute bartender, especially after what you were going to have to deal with for the next hour. No doubt that if Denise was right and Beau and Hoyt were coming out and confirming everyone’s suspicions, the blonde was going to definitely rub their noses in it and claim her territory for real. You wouldn’t even be surprised if she lifted a leg at some point. You needed the fleeting good feeling one flirty interaction at the bar might give you. It would sustain you enough until you left for the night. Plus, a free shot or two couldn’t hurt in that endeavor.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll get it but thank you anyway. I’ll get you a refill, too. I’ll see you in a few.” You squeezed his arm, smiling, and turned to make your way to the bar before he could say anything. Once you maneuvered around the multiple bodies packing the area, you luckily found an open space at the bar to slip into. You waited patiently for your turn to order after your bartender sent a smile and wink your way to acknowledge you, completing the orders for the couple who got there before you. You tapped your foot to the music and just as the song ended, an arm came around your shoulders making you tense up. As you were about to warn the owner of the arm that if they didn’t move it they’d lose it, a familiar voice spoke in your ear. “I’ve got this round, sweetheart.” 

You turned to find Beau smirking down at you. “I thought we were meeting over at the table.”

He shrugged and pulled out his wallet. “You got the tab last time. This time it’s on me. Whatever you want.”

“Wait, you’re buying? In that case, I’m going to order my fourth and fifth rounds right now.” 

“Ha ha. In that case, I’ll be your DD tonight.” He flashed you a bright smile.

“I’m not sleeping in the tin can again,” you stated.

“What is it with you and my trailer? Why can’t you just be nice to her?”

“Why can’t you stop calling it a her?”

“Not this again. It’s my home, Y/N. Why you gotta knock it? What’s she ever done to you?” He laughed.

“I’m not knocking it, or you,” you reassured him. “I just won’t ever refer to it as a her. The moment you accept that is the moment I’ll stop calling it the tin can it is.”

Shaking his head, he sighed and retracted his arm from your shoulders. “She deserves more respect than that. She’s housed you when you needed it and she’s taken great care of me. Of Em, too.”

You snorted a laugh. “Em hates that thing almost as much as I do. You know I'm right.”

Beau rolled his eyes but stayed silent. Your smug smirk settled on your face when he pulled out his phone, presumably to send a message to the daughter you had just been discussing. Giving him privacy, you glanced back at Aiden who motioned to you that you were next in line when you noticed the TV screen above his head. Your eyes widened when you saw the headline.

Standing outside of the same building you had been at two days ago was an anchorwoman speaking to the camera in the foreground while in the background there was a group of people with painted signs, shouting or chanting. You couldn’t hear the sound so you couldn’t be sure which but it was definitely one of them. 

“Looks like someone’s protesting that place after all.” You turned to see Beau watching the screen intently with you before he gave you another smirk.

You saw an all-too familiar gleam in his eyes and you just knew. “Was that you?”

He shrugged a shoulder and leaned in closer to you, keeping his eyes on the TV. “I may have let it slip to one of our journalist friends what my department had witnessed and the fact that the company denied us access to their cameras.” You gaped at him, shocked at his revelation. If his name was used, he could be in for a whole world of trouble. “I told them off the record, of course.” Relief immediately began filling your body. “And I may have asked Carla if she could recommend a good defense attorney for one Martin Webb after filling her in on what happened there. And she may have also recommended an attorney that he can talk to who specializes in animal cruelty cases, who has gone after big companies like this before for this very thing.” He took another sip of the mostly finished drink he had set down on the counter.

Recovering enough from your shock, you managed to ask, “And the protest?”

“We’re keeping an eye on things but as long as it remains peaceful, we shouldn’t need to step in. I let Helena PD know and they’re doing the same. They’ve got two bodies over there right now, just making sure private security doesn’t try anything and everyone’s safe.” He then met your eyes. “I told you, Y/N, we do our jobs, that’s it. We can’t get involved.” He shot you a wink.

You smiled, thinking back to your conversation where he’d told you that very thing. At the time you had been disappointed but realized he was right to say it. But then again, this was Beau. When hadn’t he thrown the rule book out when something important was on the line? “Who are the protestors? What organization?”

“Let’s just say that Em knows how to fill out an anonymous tip form online and PETA has plenty of those. And she may have used social media to help spread the word.”

You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, surprising him. “Thank you,” you whispered into his ear as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You weren’t surprised at the actions he took because he was always a good compassionate man but in the same vein, you were stunned. He had really thought of everything.

“I’ve told you before, darlin’, I’ve got you,” he murmured, and tightened his embrace around you.

The gratitude you felt warred with the guilt surging inside. You needed to tell him the truth about what you’d done the other day. “I need to tell you something,” you rushed out.

He pulled back and cupped your cheek, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “That you put a call in to the Feds?”

Your brows began to furrow in question and he used his thumb to then smooth out the crinkle in your skin once you nodded. 

“Sanchez, right?”

Your jaw dropped. “Yes, but how did you…” You could suddenly feel your ire rising when you realized where he’d probably heard the name. “Did Pops tell you?”

He shook his head and moved in closer to you since someone appeared on his other side. “Once you put that tip in, the agency contacted me. Just for verification purposes,” he clarified. “I told them they should check it out, that our hands were tied and that was why you had contacted them. With my full knowledge and support.” Something that looked like remorse immediately began to fill his eyes and the elation you felt began to dim. Uh oh, why was he getting that look?

“Well, thank you for backing me up on that.” You dug your teeth into your bottom lip nervously. “Beau, I need you to know. I wasn’t trying to go around—”

“I know that.” He chucked your chin affectionately. “Hell, when I saw you take that form from my office, I knew what you were up to. If I were in your shoes, I’d have done the same thing. I’m damn proud of you for it.” His smile faded slightly. “If what you saw bothered you that much, then I know it’s bad and needs to be handled. I’m just sorry there wasn’t more I could do.”

You studied him, smiling warmly. “You did way more than anyone could have or even would have done in your position.” You hugged him again because you just had to. “Really, thank you,” you whispered into his ear.

His hand gently rubbed up and down your back. “Now, I need to tell you something.”

All of your happiness evaporated in a single instant. You braced yourself as best you could. This was it; this was the moment he would tell you that he and Jenny Hoyt were officially an item. You felt sick to your stomach at the thought but you knew after how much he’d just done to help you and what he’d put on the line to cover for you, you had to at least pretend to be happy for your friend. Or at the very least be supportive, no matter how much it turned your stomach that he was choosing someone who guaranteed was going to make his life a living hell when she didn’t get her way or they weren’t getting along. Just like she made yours insufferable every single day.

You forced yourself to take a quiet breath and then moved back, forcing a smile and hoping to hell that you didn’t look as worried as you felt. You must have failed miserably because Beau leaned in and reassuringly stroked your cheek with his thumb, his brows drawn together as he studied you.

So, this must really be bad; perhaps, Hoyt had him wrapped tighter around her finger than you'd imagined. Was there a wedding you’d be forced to attend sometime soon? Or…something worse? You did your best to steel yourself against it but you couldn’t keep your eyes from tearing up or the lump from forming in your throat. 

“Listen, Y/N, Hoyt—”

Just then, another voice interrupted. “What can I get you guys?”

You both looked to see the Aiden in front of you, no longer smiling, no longer winking, and definitely no longer flirtatious. One only had to look in your direction to see why; you and Beau were practically in each other’s laps and he had been touching your face a moment ago. To everyone who didn’t know you and what close friends you were, you probably looked like a couple. And even if you tried to explain that you had to lean in close to hear what the other was saying, those people still wouldn’t buy it. That thought made you untangle yourself from Beau, clear your throat, and place your order. Without a hint of a smile, Aiden gave you a nod and moved to make the drinks. Well, so much for that little boost you had been banking on to sustain you through this event. There was no way he was buying you any shots this time, either.

Beau had a hand on your knee, squeezing reassuringly. You knew he only meant it as comfort but you were tempted to tell him that he could no longer be this affectionate with you due to his new public relationship. Instead, you decided to soak it up while you could. If you didn’t know yet officially, then you didn’t know any better, right? You nearly grimaced; since when did you become such a coward, making bullshit justifications to yourself?

Your response to that was to force yourself to ask the question you didn’t really want the answer to. “So, you were saying, about Hoyt?”

Beau considered you for a moment before moving his hand up your thigh to rest right above your knee, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on your skin. You were usually good at keeping your reactions on lockdown; it helped you time and time again in your line of work. But you must absolutely be failing at it right now. 

Instead of answering you, he seemed to switch tacks. “Do you remember that night we saw the shooting star?”

You nodded, wondering why he was mentioning that instead of just telling you outright what you dreaded to know.

He started to smile. “I think about that night a lot.”

You quickly sifted through the memories of that night and then it hit you. He had asked you to extend an olive branch to Hoyt, to try to make it work, when he couldn’t look you in the eyes when answering your question about her, and now you knew why. 

“You asked if I made a wish?” You once again nodded your confirmation. “And I told you I already had?” 

He wished for you two to get along and now he was going to do something drastic to make it come true. That’s what it had to be, that’s why all of this drawn out suspense was coming from his end. If he didn’t just come out and say it soon, you were going to ask him point-blank. No more pussyfooting around it. It’s not like you didn’t already know; you had suspected as much for the longest time.

Your brows began to furrow again, this time in confusion, when he covered your hand on the bar with his free one, giving you a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.” You tried to give him a reassuring smile of your own, not sure if you really did or just grimaced. “I don’t want this to ruin anything between us. Our friendship is really important to me and I… This isn’t exactly how I planned on telling you. I meant to tell you that night on my deck but I chickened out at the last second.” Your heart was starting to pound and your chest started to constrict. You refused to give in to the feeling, though. You were going to force yourself to sit through this, come hell or high water. It was the least you could do for your best friend. 

“I’m a cop, I already have a teenage daughter, and an ex-wife who I’m still close with and talk to more than I should. I have a lot of ghosts I’m still dealing with. I’m not the best catch for a girl and I know that.”

You impulsively cupped his cheek with your hand after ripping it from underneath his, causing his expression to be lined with uncertainty and confusion. “Yes, you are, and you deserve the best. Don’t ever doubt it, Beau. If someone truly loves you, they will accept all of those things as part of your package and they won’t think twice about whether it’s something they want or not. Emily is a part of you and if a woman really loves you, she will automatically love her because of that. How can someone claim to love the man but not every single part of him? Emily will always come first and that won’t even be a question in this woman’s mind. In fact, she’ll insist on it if she’s the right one for you.” Something you highly doubted Hoyt was, despite being a parent herself.

Beau’s smile turned from unsure to affectionate in a heartbeat. “And Carla?”

“Alright, I’m not gonna lie, that may be a tough workaround.” You both laughed and you felt a bit lighter than you had a minute ago. “But the right woman will understand when you tell her what Carla and your family have been through this past year, and she won’t feel threatened in the slightest because she’ll know that while you’ll always love the mother of your daughter, you’re no longer in love with her, and there will be appropriate boundaries in place. And everyone has ghosts, Beau. There isn’t one single person walking this planet who doesn’t. What matters is who helps you confront them and keeps them at bay when need be. Your own personal ghostbuster.” You stroked his skin tenderly and looked him straight in the eyes, giving him a soft smile and hoping he would hear you, really hear you. “You, Beau Arlen, are a good man and you deserve the very best. Don’t you ever think otherwise.”

Pink dusted his cheeks once more but you didn’t feel the urge to tease him over it like you had before. He stared at you for a moment and then lowered your hand from his cheek and took it into his. His gaze was earnest and you knew that this was it, this was the moment when everything would change. Your friendship was about to change in a way that you’d most likely never recover from. Hoyt would personally see to it, you had no doubt. 

Sure enough, he leaned in slightly so you could hear him, his green eyes focused on yours. “Y/N, we’ve known each other a long time. We’ve worked together, been thick as thieves…you’ve been my partner and you’ve been my best friend. You were there when everything happened in Houston. You got me through my divorce, my grief, and even when Em was taken…” His eyes began to have that faraway look you’d seen one too many times on him these past six months. You knew it still haunted him and would until his last day even though Emily was safe. And you couldn’t blame him one bit. How would you be if it had been your own daughter who had been in danger like that?

You squeezed his hand to urge him to continue.

He came back to you and cleared his throat quietly. “Sorry.” The corner of his lips tipped up in the beginning of a smile. “I know I’m rambling here but what I’m trying to say is that I need you to know that I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think it’s high time that I tell you—”

“Beau, there you are!”

You didn’t have time to process the words or that the bubble you both had been in had violently popped before Beau’s hand was ripped out of yours with force as a flurry of blonde launched at your best friend. His arms came around the body that had just practically jumped into his lap, his eyes wide, and loud kisses were suddenly being peppered alongside his face. Beau stared at you, frozen in shock, and you noticed Hoyt’s triumphant smirk slowly turn on you, her teeth then burying into her bottom lip.

“Y/L/N,” she greeted you coolly.

“Hoyt,” you replied with just as much ice injected into your tone.

Sadly, you were right. A leg had been lifted in your vicinity and Beau not stopping her told you everything you needed to know, everything he had been struggling to get out the last few minutes. Disappointment grew deep within your chest and radiated throughout your whole body. Your instincts had been right; he had been seeing her and he was waiting for the right time to tell you. He deserved so much better than Jenny Hoyt but it was his choice, and clearly he’d made it. 

Fortunately, your drinks arrived at that very moment. You turned to thank Aiden, no longer caring whether he was smiling or not. You felt numb as you pulled out some cash to leave on the bar for him. You pushed Beau’s refill in his direction, grabbed your glass, and turned to leave. “See you over there,” you called, taking a sip and wading through the packed bodies.

“Y/N, wait!”

You pretended you hadn’t heard him yelling for you and continued your trek to the back of the bar. You weren’t trying to be cruel but you definitely needed a minute to get your bearings after having the confirmation of the worst possible outcome shoved so forcefully in your face. And a tiny part of you couldn’t exactly look him in the eye right now.

You forced a smile onto your face by the time you reached your group. “Hey, all,” you greeted. Everyone returned it, some more warmly than others, and you gave a wink to Pops who shot you a grin. Cassie scooted over in the booth to make room for you to sit and you gave her a one-armed hug and bright smile as a thank you.

“Where’s Beau? He said he was going to say hi to you and then he’d bring you over.”

“He did but he’s still at the bar. He’ll come over when he’s ready, I guess.”

She tilted her head curiously and studied you for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. She was assessing you and you figured that maybe your tone had betrayed your bitter disappointment. You forced a smile and mentally berated yourself for your carelessness. After a moment, she glanced over your head towards the bar area and whatever she saw had her then giving you a sad smile of understanding. You didn’t turn to look; you had seen enough. But it was further confirmation that not only were you not keeping yourself together as well as you should have been, but that your problem was about to become an even bigger one. Hoyt had been insufferable; now openly involved with the boss, she was bound to be a nightmare. “Yay,” you muttered with false enthusiasm at the thought before taking a sip of your drink.

You quickly glanced at your watch and told yourself it was only one hour. For God’s sake, you could do an hour. Time to suck it up and put your big girl panties on. You easily joined in the conversation and many laughs were had as the typical banter began. You pretended not to notice when Beau rejoined the group, a beer in his hand, or the subtle shake of his head he gave to Cassie’s questioning gaze. You also acted as if you hadn’t seen Cassie’s fleeting disappointment followed by the same understanding she’d given you, along with an encouraging smile for him. You willfully ignored Hoyt joining your group at the table with her never-ending pout. 

You actually ended up enjoying yourself and stayed longer than you had anticipated you would. Thankfully, Hoyt didn’t maul Beau as she had when you first arrived. Instead she sat there, sulking, wearing that hurt expression every so often. You had no idea who had pissed in her cheerios but if you did, they’d get one hell of a thank you-gram from you. You figured that while the secret about her and Beau was out, perhaps the latter wanted to maintain some semblance of professionalism in front of the department. It was bound to be a dicey subject at work despite everyone already being in the know, especially with Beau being the overall boss, but you knew he’d navigate that as seamlessly as he could. Maybe that was what had the undersheriff suddenly and uncharacteristically quiet with everyone else. Either way, you were grateful.

Predictably, Hoyt had downed several drinks until she was hammered, and this time, Cassie offered to drive her home. Disappointment radiated off of the blonde as she stared sadly in Beau’s direction who asked if she and Cassie would be okay, never meeting Hoyt’s forlorn gaze. She didn’t say a word but Cassie reassured him they would be. He asked her to text him when they got home safely and Cassie promised she would. Pops came to the rescue and helped Cassie get Hoyt out to the car. You had wanted to offer to help, for Cassie’s sake if nothing else, but after tonight’s performance, you just couldn’t muster up enough compassion for Hoyt and you really thought you’d become violently ill if you tried. You sincerely hoped you would feel differently in the morning when work resumed and you’d be able to stomach the smugness you knew would be directed at you from now on. 

You checked your watch and it was near midnight. Time to head home. You were about to announce your impending departure when the music changed and Beau’s head snapped up. His eyes met yours, as they had been trying to do all night but you had refused to do so, and you could see a slight glimmer of hope shining back at you. You immediately recognized the song and you heaved a sigh. Crap.

A smirk formed on his face when he realized you weren’t looking away and you had indeed heard that song start up. He got to his feet and made his way over to you, every step making your heart jump higher into your throat. How were you ever supposed to stay mad at him or justly disappointed in something he did or said when he hit you with a boyish grin like that? 

When he reached you, he held out a hand. “May I have this dance?”

You glanced behind him quickly. “No one else is dancing, Beau.”

“So? Come on,” he whined. “Dance with me. I deserve it after you ignored me all night.” On the surface, he was teasing you but you could see a faint layer of hurt behind his smile that he worked hard to hide. Crap.

You placed your hand in his and stood up. “One,” you agreed.

His smile softened and he turned to lead you away from the group of remaining guys, who of course were making wolf whistles and calling out what they considered to be jokes. You both ignored them and Beau stopped in a spot, turning to pull you into his arms. You placed your hands on his shoulders, happy to maintain some distance, but he wasn’t having that. He moved your arms around his neck and encircled his around your waist. There was barely an inch of space between you and he began to sway you both side to side, almost keeping time to the rhythm of the song. 

“You picked this song on the jukebox, didn’t you?”

That devilish smirk reappeared as expected. “I couldn’t believe it was on there and I just knew I had to play it. For old times’ sake,” he finished in a murmur. 

You tried to swallow past the lump forming in your throat but you failed miserably. Truth be told, you’d rather forget some of the memories this song evoked in you. Things he didn’t remember from that one night a long time ago, right after Carla had announced her engagement to Avery McAllister, following their whirlwind romance. Right after the huge blowup Beau and Carla had on the phone when she’d told him the news. And more importantly, right after he’d called you and begged you to come over, saying he needed to see you, his voice breaking as emotions overwhelmed him in that moment.

“I’m sorry, honey.” Your eyes snapped up to his, wondering if every single emotion of yours was showing on your face tonight. “For earlier,” he clarified. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

Stuck between slipping into a sea of unwanted memories and being consumed with disappointment at your best friend’s choices as of late, you forced yourself to become stone throughout. It was the only way you’d make it through this dance and the ensuing ride home. You shrugged an uncaring shoulder. “Not my business.”

You watched as his eyes narrowed, studying you intently. You made sure not to look away and to keep a neutral expression on your face. You absolutely could not let a single trace of hurt or disappointment show through because he would see it in a heartbeat. And that would make things even more awkward between you in regards to Hoyt.

He must not have seen whatever he was looking for, or maybe he had, because he shook his head in disbelief. When you heard his familiar scoff, you fully expected him to walk away from you or give you hell, one or the other. Instead, he did the last thing you thought he would: he pulled you into him more and buried his face into your neck, his lips resting on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, his neatly-trimmed beard rubbing gently against your skin and making you squirm internally. Not that last thing you’d expect him to do because he hadn’t done it before but usually the two of you were alone when he did, or at least not in front of half the department he helmed. You tried to think back to how many drinks you noticed him having throughout the night. You had only seen the drink you had bought him which you assumed he drank at the bar with Hoyt, and two beers. If he had done shots with Hoyt, she would have been half wasted by the time they returned to the group. If he had drunk a round at the bar with Hoyt in addition to his refill, they would have taken way longer to come back. He didn’t appear drunk or even tipsy. You had seen him in both conditions plenty of times; there was nothing indicating to you that you needed to take Pedro’s keys so you could drive him home.

“You’re my best friend,” he confessed near your ear, the puff of air tickling the skin of your neck. It made a memory resurface that you immediately slammed back down. “And that’s more important to me than anything.” He tightened his grip on you and burrowed deeper into you. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t help but tangle your fingers into his hair located at the back of his head. One of the guys made some stupid comment and you simply flipped him off with your free hand, hearing them erupt in laughter. You knew Beau would never hear the end of this and now neither would you. But in that moment, you chose not to care. Something was obviously bothering him if he was clinging to you in plain sight like this, especially with most of the bar’s patrons making up the local population who were more than aware of who Beau was. You tightened your embrace around him and held him that he seemed to desperately need, letting him take comfort in you, just as you had that one night a couple of years ago. A thought saddened you as soon as it popped into your head; maybe he too realized your friendship was now going to change and things would never be the same. That they hadn’t been from the moment you set foot in Helena. That would explain the song choice as well. A fitting goodbye in a way.

Once the song ended, he pulled back and gave you a sad smile. Your heart plummeted to your stomach as you realized you had been right. He cupped your face and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. His arms then wound around you in another hug, his lips pressing near your hairline. “You alright to drive home, darlin’?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you?” 

Chuckling, he squeezed you tightly before letting you go with a sigh. “More than alright. As a matter of fact, I’m going to close out the tab and get going myself. Want me to walk you to your car?”

“No, I’ll be okay but thank you for offering.” You tried to study him discreetly, looking for any signs of deception on his part. He seemed sober enough but something felt…off. 

He gave you a nod and stepped away. “Text me when you get home, okay? Let me know you made it safely.”

“Will do.” Something about seeing him moving further away from you suddenly filled you with sadness, like this really was a goodbye in some form or another.

Beau smiled and turned to head to the bar. You forced yourself to do the same, in the opposite direction. You told yourself that you were just being silly and the revelation of he and Hoyt confirming them being a thing had rocked you to your core, which resulted in all of these conflicting emotions and thoughts rolling within you. And that coupled with alcohol — your intuitive compass didn’t know which way was up. You were fine to drive, you hadn’t lied, but the drinks definitely gave a sharper edge to how you were feeling tonight. It felt as if you were misreading everything.

Before you could take two steps, you heard your name being called. You spun around to see Beau smiling widely at you. He gently took your hand. “Thanks for the dance, sweetheart.” His tone had changed from just before. It was deeper, sounding like warm honey being drizzled over fruit, and you had only ever heard him use it once before with you. That tone, that song, him taking comfort in you, the reminders of that night… You began to panic inside but you managed to smile back at him, giving him a nod.

His eyes sparkled with that familiar glint of mischief that you had seen all too often back in Houston before shit hit the giant shit fan. Back when you had secretly wondered what could happen when someone dared to find out just what that mischief entailed, thinking Carla was one hell of a lucky woman. And that was before you had gotten to really know him and what an incredible person he was to have at your back, on the job and out of it. “Text me. Don’t forget,” he reminded you.

Unable to speak right then, you nodded once more. He brushed a kiss over your fingers, let go of your hand, winked, and turned on his heel, disappearing through the crowd that had thinned somewhat since you first got here. You watched him walk right up to the bar and ask Aiden for the tab, pulling out his wallet.

It took you a minute to peel your eyes away from him and to get your legs working again. Your knees felt like jello and there had been an all-too familiar fluttery feeling deep within your body, as if there had been some strange air bubble doing a flip on a trampoline at the bottom of your stomach…or possibly lower. You shook your head to clear the thoughts swirling in your head and chalked it up to this very weird night. 

After grabbing your things and saying goodbye to the guys, ignoring their razzing, you made a beeline for the parking lot, not turning to look back once, afraid that if you did you might do something that would make things infinitely more complicated. Not only were you not the type of girl to pursue something with an involved man but things were already complicated enough. And you were not firing on all logical cylinders tonight, that was obvious. It wasn’t worth ruining what was left of your friendship and making things even more awkward at work.

Breathing in the cool night air helped to clear your head and you knew you had made the right decision. As much as you despised Jenny Hoyt, you supposed you couldn’t entirely blame her for going after what had been unintentionally dangled right in front of her. Beau Arlen was the full package: a good man with a big heart, a great sense of humor, a loving father, respectful of all women in and out of the bedroom, a bright smile with infectious laughter, and a natural born leader with the wisdom and patience to match. How could any woman resist that?

You laughed at yourself because now it was confirmed for you. Your brain was definitely short-circuiting if you were sympathizing with the woman who was now most likely going to tear one of the best relationships of your life apart, gleefully doing so as you helplessly watched. The sooner you got home and into bed the better.

dividers by @firefly-graphics