#and whoever enters enters ig but cant claim i didnt warn about that

[daemon-in-my-head]

I think my main issue with existing in fandom and engaging with it comes down to the narrative dissonance I've somehow established with fanon.

Cuz while fanon and the canon overall (durge a lot less tbh) is pretty positiveish and badass my approach simply... Isn't.

I'm not going with the banehold rescue missions or the 'maybe love did end up being enough' vibes.

My fucks aren't happy. They have their moments but at the end of the day durge never got over losing their purpose and eventually returned to Bhaal semi voluntarily and Gortash just, never changed. Grew even more bitter perhaps but he's always been a manipulative idiot with the emotional intelligence of a breadcrumb and continues to exist and act that way, eventually fucking up yet again because his ambition and need for control outweigh the desire for human connection.

I simply put them in a different, more comfortable situation than their past, but never allowed them to have that fundamental change they would've needed to attain legitimate happiness. They could've been happy if they had realised that they weren't in the same place anymore but they didn't. Couldn't. I mean heck my durge quite literally removed one of his eyes himself that's how hard they're fucking shit up for themselves.

And that isn't for everyone, which is valid, but it also makes it hard to interact with the fandom cuz if I do there is a chance of my overwhelming desire for tragedy and fucked upness leaking to people who don't enjoy it. Or we'll gothic horror ig cuz the gods still exist and fuck around (and dear lord am I making them fuck around) but at the end of the day the haunting isn't the supernatural or divine, it's the mortal idiots who can't seem to realise that yes, indeed, everything's changed.

So I just try not to.