#I don’t feel as bad now but still
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I forgor to post this when I made it so you’re getting self portrait art a bit late. Not main tagging this for reasons but do wanna show whoever follows me and like. Do a little show and tell ig lol. No face cause I started to run out of stream tbh
CW: EYESTRAIN AND LOOKING AT “CAMERA” PHOBIA ( latter just n case )
#cw eyestrain#cw: eyestrain#nvm I found it its#cw Scopophobia#cw: Scopophobia#Benrey fictive#HLVRAI fictive#semi vent art#lol#I don’t feel as bad now but still#just in case#vent art#< if you don’t wanna see that#feelin some type of way today#mostly okay I think?#yea#anyway why u still here#if you read this far here’s a cookie#🍪 sorry you can’t have it irl but. thought that counts?#get outta here man#go drink water some or smth#take care of yourself
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(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend
#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mortal kombat#harumi shirai#tomas vrbada#mk smoke#kuai liang#mk scorpion#hanzo hasashi#I still don’t know how to feel about her and Kuai Liang#unless nrs releases more content#I dunno I think they have potential to be a cute couple but for now it’s still sus#also! I love to hc that harumi got Tomas to open up to kuai#cause uhhh the Lin Kuei kinda killed his family#so harumi is like ‘ey bro they’re not so bad when you get to know them… except for bi Han… fuck that guy’#bi Han would highkey make a tree house and put up a ‘no girls allowed’ sign and she never forgave him for that#if bi Han ends up being the reason she dies in this timeline it would kinda be funny cause he’d be like ‘I never liked you’#and she’d be like ‘me neither you stupid boy’#and he’s like ‘yknow what this isnt even about kuai liang anymore- screw you’#doodles#my art
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mmmmmMMMMMMM
#sigh#I wanted this break to be nice and relaxing#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles#but we finally got the quote from the mechanic and it’s#it’s bad but it’s either get this repair or get an all new car we can’t afford#this whole month has been a terrible downward spiral and I’m#trying so hard#I’m not well#things aren’t letting up#I have no motivation to do anything enjoyable#nothing feels enjoyable#I just#I want to sleep forever#I don’t want to deal with this anymore#I still can’t seem to get a job#Q’s job is mentally destroying him because of the things he’s now being exposed to#but he’s been trying to get a new job since mid April#I#no longer feel any hope that things will get better#Christmas?#I feel no Christmas joy#I feel no joy#I picked a shit time to get off my meds but#I don’t know I’m tired of taking pills#there’s nothing wrong with needing them I get that but I just#I didn’t want that anymore#sorry I just needed to yell into the void before I lose my fucking mind#I’m fine things will be fine they’re always fine in the end they have to be
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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head in hands. oh i’m in pain.
i’m so normal about how nemesis knows that melinoë’s situation is cruel and unfair and is upset by it. she’s frustrated that melinoë doesn’t even question her circumstances and her lashing out is how she expresses her discontempt with the situation. oh she’s so. oh. clutching my chest
#i feel so bad for melinoe#oh brother we’re really in it now#i still don’t like nemesis but i’m starting to understand where she’s coming from#i too would be incredibly pissed if i saw mel being indoctrinated for Her Task since childhood#june jabbers#hadesposting#hades 2#hades ii#hades#hades supergiant#hades game#hades 2 spoilers#described#id in alt
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Stabby stabby time 😌✨
(Original meme audio source can be found via this YouTube video!!)
#once again I’m so bad at putting silly short meme stuff onto my main channel without thinking it’s gonna humiliate me HELP 🥲#l’ll get over it this is my exposure therapy hour#it doesn’t help that I told classmates in college about my YouTube channel and didn’t think about how that would fuck with my anxiety lol#like ‘OH NO WHY DID I DO THAT THEY’LL KNOW I’M CRINGE AND WEIRD NOW’#listen if people can’t tolerate you at your cringiest and you feel like you need to mask around them 24/7 then it’s not worth#you gotta be your authentic self and enjoy your interests regardless of how people view it#trying to people please the masses is only going to wear you out and make you feel disconnected from yourself#‘fuck it we ball’ mentality saves lives tbh#….I don’t know I’m still trying to pep talk myself into it being socially acceptable to post sillies :’)#for now this will be a Tumblr exclusive until I stop being a baby about it✨#(also wouldn’t it be funny if my channel has a running joke of everyone not knowing what Puzzles age is? Just a thought)#(first Meggy asks him about it and now I’m asking too)#(no wonder the guy pulled out a knife people won’t shut up about his age lmfao)#mr puzzles smg4 meme#mr puzzles animated#smg4 girl how old are you I’m getting nervous meme#girl how old are you I’m getting nervous mr puzzles meme#hplonesome art
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i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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I’m so not okay… I’m not okay at all actually…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#no no no no no no because i am still crying… sobbing actually…#i cannot do this guys… it’s impossible to recover from this because i can’t stop watching the episode…#i want to hug dabi so bad like— i don’t even know how to explain all the things i’m feeling right now…#i knew this episode would break me BIG TIME… but to this point????#my heart keeps clenching everytime i remember what i’ve seen this episode and god…#it hits already enough when reading it… but HEARING all of it???? that hurts on a whole different level…
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ONYX STORM SPOILERS AHEAD!
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE OF MY OTP’S CANNONICALLY MARRIED AND WE DIDN’T EVEN GOT TO SEE/READ THE WEDDING?!!??
#even if it took place in a cave and lasted 2 minutes it would still be illegal not to show it#when I ca#when I catch you Rebecca#When I catch you#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BY THE NEXT FEW YEARS TILL THE NEXT ONE ??#I don’t post this type of things but I just really needed to scream about this in some way#onyx storm#onyx storm spoilers#onyx storm feelings#fourth wing#the empyrean series#xaden riorson#violet sorrengail#riorgail#the is no fanfic enough to pull me back together#i love them your honor#xaden and violet#angst#and I thought the cliffhanger from Iron Flame was bad#I might actually die now 😭#ranting#rant post#rant in tags
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so because we have only three chapters left, I’ve decided that I’m going to wait for the official release instead of going through the leaks as I’ve been doing for… almost the past 2 years. I don’t want the leaks and the fandom discourse to ruin my last experience with jjk as a still ongoing manga… plus I thought it would be more fun and enjoyable this way... more special ig (I’m being so sappy ik) wish me luck guys!!
#Plus I want to know what it feels like to read a jjk chapter without the leakers’ wonky translation and shitty panels quality#also… I’m soooooo tired of the discourse I’m genuinely over it.#I’m trying really hard to avoid it and just enjoy the chapters#cause even if I had my own doubts (that expressed here) about certain things#they were more or less later addressed in the next couple of chapters#so at this point I’m like ok I still don’t know what to expect or how gege is going to tackle all of it.#I have more questions than answers regarding characters like sukuna yuuji or megumi.#yes I loved sukuna’s conclusion and no idk how certain his ending it is as everything about it felt quite vague and unclear.#so yes I’m happy but I’m also open to whatever gege has planned for the last three chapters…#and basically whatever. just you do you gege I really don’t know what to expect. AT ALL.#all I know is that I want to let gege finish his story so I could have a full picture in mind#I’m tired of reading and going through assumptions criticism about new released chapters#while knowing that there are still more (now just three) chapters left#this was basically my whole jjk fandom experience after EVERY new chapter “this is bad and doesn’t make sense” like…#the story is not even finished yet 😭#I just want gege to finish the manga and then we can talk about what went well or what went wrong… and all#but in the meantime I just want to enjoy the story for as long as I can#that’s all#jjk#personal
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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hi! i havent been on tumblr in a Hot minute but i wanted to come here JUST to tell you that hfbe might be my fave pla fic ive read ao far! the worldbuilding and the characterization of everyone just feels so so right i fall in love
i reread it on ao3 and even tho its not completed its still a joy to reread everytime
Hello hello!! Anon you have no idea how much it meant to me to get to read this. Knowing I put something out there that you wanted to back to and reread means A LOT.
I’m glad you like it so much but man I have been editing the first two chapters (fixing errors, making characters say and do things that are more in line with how I write them now, and just adding scenes in between to help things seem more clear or hit harder), and I’m like man this really isn’t that good haha.
It’s fun to see how much I think I’ve improved since I’ve started trying to write fanfics (I wasn’t aware of how obsessed I had been with commas and run-on sentences at the start lol)
So reading this nice message really gives me such a boost of motivation. I’m so glad you like the worldbuilding, and it makes me excited to get more out because later chapters are when I really introduce specifics on a lot of things. Namely the Pearl Clan’s hunting parties, that has been my favorite.
Now I just gotta get more out! Hoping to put more out for you to read soon kind anon, I really appreciate that you find it’s something you like to reread!
For now, here is a snippet below the cut; I am unsure if I have shared this before, but it’s a scene where Ingo is preparing to advocate for the Clan to use pokeballs to store their pokemon in, so that there is less food consumption (as in HFBE, it’s emphasized that pokeballs put pokemon into a stasis where they don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, etc. for as long as they’re in them. Ingo does it with his pokemon, and he wants the clan to do it too, for their own sakes).
Wording is subject to change (VERY MUCH SO), but enjoy!
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“Excuse me Miss Irida, but may we talk for a moment?”
The Pearl Clan leader turned back to see Ingo – he was trailing behind the group, purposefully so. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach her.
“Right now?” Irida’s eyes flickered back over the tops of people’s heads, up towards the communal hall at the top of the hill. “I’m sorry, but can it wait until after the meeting?”
“It is actually about the meeting.” Ingo’s grey eyes were unwavering, waiting — he wanted to ask her something. And Ingo was not one to usually ask for things.
“Ok,” She relented, pausing in the snow both so he could catch up, and they could have their conversation with some privacy. “You have until we reach the hall.”
“Thank you, I assure you it will be quick.” Ingo fell into step beside her, shuffling through the snow as they now both trailed behind the group heading towards the warm hall. He kept his head tilted down just like her, using the brim of his hat to protect against the wind and snowfall. “I, well… I am planning to re-propose a proposition at this meeting tonight. I’d like to make another attempt at advocating for the use of pokeballs.”
“Tonight? Are you serious?” Irida lowered her voice for his sake, looking back between him and the group. How could he possibly think about proposing that when this meeting was for them to discuss how to prepare for this famine? “I’m saying this not as your leader but as your friend, Ingo; now is absolutely not a good time for that. Everyone is already going into this meeting angry. And if you try and start this again, they’re going to-”
Irida took a deep breath; she was already getting stressed over it.
“You know how people are going to react to that. You know who it’s going to upset, Ingo. Especially after last time. And you said you’d let it go.”
“I am well aware of what I said and I intended to stick to it, but these circumstances have changed our tracks, and I believe this may save us from derailing!” Ingo whispered back. He kept throwing quick glances at the nearing hall, gauging how much time he had left to persuade her. “Pokeballs can help us much more than the clan realizes – I’m confident that this can bring us closer to a solution, if not at least be a part of one!”
Irritation and confusion were replaced with genuine curiosity, but a fleck of doubt hesitantly followed after. Irida shook her head, not understanding. “How could they possibly help with all of this?”
“I will explain that in the meeting.” Having conquered the snowy hill, the two reached the warm light that spilled through the hall’s windows to project onto the snow. “But to do that, I need to actually present my proposal, and I’m afraid that will be difficult with the elders tonight. I am trying this for the fourth time now, and I’m aware of how this will most likely be received. I expect they’ll call to send me back to my seat before I even start.”
Ingo paused just outside the doors, waiting for Irida to go in first — she could do so and end the conversation right now if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Instead she stood there, staring at their fading shoeprints in the snow.
Irida could see why he approached her about this now, and a part of her felt sorry for him. “So you want me to vouch for you.”
“Not the proposal itself. Just the time to talk.”
#wayward’s asks#sorry for the late response I am still having stomach problems#so I still feel like I have no energy#to do much of anything#doing my best to get energy to do things I wanna do!!!!#instead of blowing all of it on things I NEED to do and having nothing left to have fun!!!#and that includes wanting to write more HFBE and my other fics oughhh#RANT ABOUT EFFECTS OF FOOD DEPRIVATION BELOW IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THAT#I talked about this last time I got sick too#but going through what I’m going through has made coming back to HFBE… certainly an experience#I don’t have it as bad as Ingo obviously and never will I know that much#but man I had wondered at the time if I was pushing things too hard with him#about how he’s cold and tired all the time and wants to sleep all the time#and can’t focus or hold conversations and being shakey#and that people even comment on him#it’s weird coming back to that and reading it and thinking ‘that is me’#it’s just. weird reading stuff I wrote during a time I was much healthier and never even thought I’d go through the same thing#and I’m dealing with all this while my situation isn’t nearly as bad as his#now it makes me wonder if it was not bad enough#but I don’t want to go harder on him#Not unecessarily#Akari would not let that happen anyways#ref for fic
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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The other problem with tv shows now is that they’re either so incredibly dull or they try to cram so much into every season because they they’re so scared of cancellation and there’s no in between
#watching sg1 and sga im realizing how crazy the pacing is for stuff today#like s1 into s2 and s2 into s3 of Atlantis had /3 part episodes!!/#3 episodes devoted to one part of the story#you can’t do that anymore because that’s half your season!!#my attention is normally so bad but I have been absolutely glued to the screen#it’s just honestly such good tv#ugh I’m starting to get nostalgic and reminisce about how things used to be and I feel so old 😂#but yeah anymore tv is so boring or so fast I can’t keep up with who’s who and what’s happening#I love you rings of power but I don’t know elendil’s name until the last ep of s1#I’m still not entirely sure what exactly happened in s2#there’s just /so much/ going on#okay I’m done rambling now back to watching Stargate
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Btw the best thing you can do when you’re feeling sad is let yourself be sad.
I’ve been having a really hard time lately. I’ve been in and out of depressive episodes, feeling unloved and unwanted, having negative thoughts about by body/appearance, my anxiety is through the roof, and all around I’m just struggling mentally and emotionally. I have no time nor space to regress, and when I do, it’s involuntary which is scary because I’m a secret regressor. But one thing that has helped me immensely is allowing myself to be present through my emotions and just let myself be sad.
Being sad isn’t a bad thing. You are allowed to be upset. You’re allowed not to feel happy all the time because it’s human. I know there’s countless other posts like this one that talk about this but it’s true. And especially for regressors like me because regression isn’t always happy regardless of the stereotypes.
I grew up being told “don’t let your emotions get the better of you,” and “don’t be so emotional, it’s not something to cry about,” and yeah, there might be some truth to that. But like, you’re allowed to be sad about something even if the people around you don’t understand why it’s making you sad. Because it’s your sadness.
And if you feel like you’re in a place where it’s not safe to cry (the people around you shaming you for it for example) then release your emotions in a safe place. I cried in the shower today which was my very first time doing that, but as cliche as it sounds, it was so freeing. Because nobody could hear me and I could cry for as long as I needed to. I’ve also cried before bed. Pillows are a great way to muffle cries and dry your tears. If you can’t cry at home, go somewhere outside where you know you won’t be interrupted or bothered. Whatever works for you.
Just cry if you need to. Be sad if that’s what you’re feeling. And then pick yourself up when you’re ready. I promise that feeling your emotions and responding to them doesn’t make you bad or shameful. 🩵
#Quizzyrambles#just been thinking a lot lately because I’ve been trying to unlearn some of the things drilled into me as a child#I was always an emotional kid and was shamed for it#now I’m an adult and I’m still shamed for it which is why I tend to bottle my emotions until I have an even more emotional breakdown#which is not healthy…#I can be sad and cry without feeling ashamed#emotions aren’t bad it’s how you handle them that matters#I don’t know if this makes sense but I hope you can see where I was going with this#sfw interaction only#sfw age regression#age regressor#sfw agere#age regression#agere blog
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