#I don’t WANT to make myself normal
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Why do I never understand what is normal? What media is popular? what hobbies are considered weird? what normal people are interested in?
#emma posts#it’s like how some people overestimate how many people read fanfiction#but I know not many people do that#it’s just with other stuff#when you find a lot of people like you online and some in-person you sometimes forget how most people do things#I don’t WANT to make myself normal#but it would be nice to know which things someone at some boring event would be interested in talking about#it would also be nice to know where I should start when someone asks about a special interest or hyperfixation#it’s one thing to talk to other people who are interested in it#and people who know you and have gotten some knowledge willingly or not#it’s another thing to have a conversation with someone at some formal event or meeting about something and fuck up about what is common#knowledge and interests#especially with things I’ve been into since I was a kid#or haven’t talked about with more normal people in my life#just because it hasn’t come up#or they might react politely because they know me but new people???#this is less ‘you’ve gotten out of touch’ and more I’m not sure I ever was IN touch#I’ll talk to some normal guy neurotypical at a volunteer position or something and be completely thrown off guard by my lack of#understanding of what is unusual or uncommon#it’s actually pretty inconvenient#and awkward
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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#i’m so normal about them 😃#like they don’t make me want to fling myself off the tallest building i can find AT ALL#need may 2024 to get here QUICK!#also#kanthony is so invisible string coded it’s actually kind of ridiculous#taylor wrote this song specifically for them#she told me so herself#bridgerton#kanthony#kate and anthony#anthony and kate#kate x anthony#anthony x kate#kate sharma#anthony bridgerton#kathony#the viscount who loved me#lord bridgerton#lady bridgerton#simone ashley#jonathan bailey#invisible string#taylor swift#folklore#viscountess bridgerton#viscount bridgerton#bridgerton season 3
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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i hope ruby gets a well-that’s-alright-then-style notdeath. on the one hand it will make haters mad because oh no not another companion with an impermanent end (and i like to see haters mad) on the other it would require creativity to depict this in a new way + i love all the implications i love the dark fairytale quality of these companion exits i love my un-undead schrodinger’s women
with the way the legend of ruby sunday is titled… legends aren’t usually told about living people. legends are stories of the bygone past, of an age long since over, fictionalised and overgrown with folklore like barnacles sticking to an abandoned shell. there is such a thing as a living legend, but they’re exceedingly rare. the unmistakeable raven’s call in the 73 yards teaser, the trailer’s cut to fifteen crying alone after promising to cherry he’d protect her daughter… the foreshadowing is clear as day…
and yet. there’s one massive HOWEVER. ruby appears in s15: millie’s been spotted on set filming it. which leads me to believe — the doctor isn’t one to take the time travel route and revisit companions that in his future are genuinely dead. that would hurt too much, it would cause unnecessary trauma and could break the timeline. that must mean ruby stays alive in some way. ish. she’s alive and a legend and a mystery. girl-ballad girl-song girl-paradox
here she is, fading out.
p.s.: thesis statement on moffatgirls from the tags i left on somebody else’s post about charley pollard.. well it belongs here since it’s basically the semiotic hurricane swirling around ruby at the moment :)
#on a personal level what interests me about these characters is precisely what gets them labeled as being subject to#misogynistic writing by pop-feminist video-essayists. as an autistic girl* (*ish) however; i find female characters that#aren’t quite ‘normal people’; women who represent an idea or concept or are a puzzle to be solved or a manic pixie dream girl to be#more and in a way far more interesting than a girl-next-door-type universally relatable protagonist#they make for more nuanced stories with more symbolism and more layers of interpretation usually. why should there be realism in a#fantastical narrative? similarly i like characters that are haunting the narrative or dead before it began (big locked tomb fan if you#didn’t know) and like. not to be tvtropes but the lost lenore archetype. dead woman who spurs the hero on to recklessness or revenge.#i identify with that dead girl. the laura palmers of the world. set the story in motion without#necessarily having agency. maybe it’s something to do with my#constant background radiation of passive suicidality. in a fun whimsical way :) i would never kill myself but i don’t want to be a real#person. i want to be objectified but not necessarily in a k*nky s*xual way (that too) in a princess in a tower way#the ultimate femme fantasy innit? there’s something about it. hashtag problematic hashtag conforming to gender roles#10000 tags be upon ye#ruby sunday#millie gibson#doctor who#dw#steven moffat#clara oswald#fifteen#fifteenth doctor#twelveclara#amy pond#charley pollard#river song#donna noble#ncuti gatwa#doctor who meta#jamie.txt#haunting
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I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I need but I’m glad I’ve got therapy tomorrow
#kinda… down#feeling sort of broken#and I appreciate all the help#but I feel ignored sometimes like my problems are boring#it’s be nice if someone wanted to help me fix them#it’s just my brain being fucked I know#because I sound so ungrateful and shitty and horrible#horrible enough that it’s like?? I don’t deserve nice things!!#but sometimes I say I’m sad and I get a pity like and told it’s ok#I say I feel lonely and unliked and people say ‘aw’#others might get a long discussion or an outpouring of ‘I like you!!’#and i think I’m just missing out on that because I can’t make connections deep enough#also I’m needy and confused and never really feel like I’m anything to anyone#and that people don’t actually like me#and that me constantly feeling like this makes them like me even less?#but I can’t help it :(#and I wish I knew how to not feel like that and be normal#I think I’m gonna take a little break because I’m in a really deep hole#i'm sorry im like this#and I’m a little bit afraid for myself#finnie shouts into the void
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan
#can /some people/ do this and have it be healthy for them? sure#but this is the overwhelming pressure both in a relationship and from society#and ime at least it has fucked me up a lot#to have sex i technically gave uncoerced consent to#where i was uncomfortable and unhappy and doing it to try and make my partner happy#bonus points for ‘it’s just like any other activity! just like you can watch a movie you don’t like for the sake of your partner#you can take a few hours to have sex you don’t like for them’#like come on now.#sex is not in fact psychologically identical to movies for most people#when i was a kid my school often made me watch movies I didn’t like or want to watch#you can say this isn’t ideal but#surely you can see. how this is different. than if they had made me have sex i didn’t want.#whatever WHATEVERRRRRR i know the sentiment is helpful for a lot of ppl#and i probably go too hard in the opposite direction#but im not framing myself as a wise advice giver im just rambling in tumblr tags abt my issues#if i were giving advice. well personally i would try to be more nuanced#than ‘don’t worry about it! it’s fine and normal to have sex you’re uncomfortable with and if you disagree you’re acephobic’#but that’s just me.#therapists dni#oh also I agree that people shouldn’t have to fake ‘normal reactions’ to sex#or to try and have orgasms if that’s unrewarding for them etc#im stone! its complicated! i get it!#but you gotta be careful to give the message ‘it’s complicated’#and not just. encouraging ppl to do things they’re genuinely uncomfortable with to make their partner happy.
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i don’t know i guess i’m just confused. i can’t make much difference with things because in my head it’s as if my thought processes are two completely different people with fully opposite beliefs. as in, an extremely harsh dissonance within my head.
if that makes sense. one side of my mind doesn’t become ‘less prominent” i’m just not posting those thoughts at times.
:part of me actively wants this sort of thing and wants to “accept it” and would jump at the prospect of that immediately
and another part of me is currently scared and thinks that this is “crazy” and is not worth trying to entertain for even a second; and i should desperately try to push “it” away yet i can’t. i don’t know
and i haven’t “harassed people” again, i don’t have it in me to do what i did a week ago (not that i don’t want to) because it would be so laughably pathetic at that point. everything i said yesterday has been concentrated inside of my own page and AT MOST i tried to find the bare minimum for ���offending people”
i feel like at this point, most(most) of my feelings come from being in disbelief (amongst other) things, with this entire concept
i cant try tackle the thought that i’m “in denial” about it because that would mean directly implying that i AM that and that and that gives way to a lot of emotions, and that gives way to me wanting to “lash out” even more
i have such a negative reaction to the prospect of being (x) that you would never think that it’s something that i kind of want to be true. sorry idk
#i’m a fucking idiot and i continue to prove it#i make myself sick with the thought of this yet it’s something i want#i am becoming more and more disconnected with my body the further that this goes#i don’t want anyone to have a ‘i told you so’ moment either so i try to be normal sometimes#therian#alterhuman#<- tagging to spite you#i don’t know
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feeling some type of way about the juxtaposition of “are you sure you have the right man?” and “i’m just a bard,” and “the sandpiper’s just a title” with “because you love yourself.” like. maybe it’s just a funny throwaway. maybe it’s a clone sex joke and that’s as deep as it goes. but maybe, underneath, buried under all that insecurity and self deprecation (which is buried in turn under all that gilded arrogance and puffed up affectation), she (they?) sees down to where he really, actually, truly does love himself. to where jaskier is exactly who he wants to be. to where he is proud of himself and his work and this life he has built. way down deep, underneath all the times he’s been told to shut up and stop caterwauling and god julian, can’t you just sit still for once? and it’s like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling and if life could give me one blessing and we’re all just one big happy family, right? no. and the crow’s feet are new, and and and and
and somehow, still, under all that, the thing he loves most is still himself. as it should be.
#jaskier#dandelion#the witcher#twn#twn:bo#twn:bo spoilers#i wish i loved myself that much#i am trying to love myself that much#you know?#idk if i’m making any sense i’m very sleepy#and i had to act normal around people a lot today#but my brain is going brrrrrrr so maybe y’all can go brrrrr with me#just like#when he says i’m just a bard#i don’t think that’s his voice#i think that’s geralt’s voice#and i want to do crimes
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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.
thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜
#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh#I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling#it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh#anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh#but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free#to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it)#I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh#love u guys ok ty 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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tonight i’m resting and keeping to myself bc i just need a minute, but tomorrow i think i’ll tinker with my rules and tidy up this blog overall. i’ve been thinking about a few things that have likely contributed to me feeling overwhelmed here, and i need to sit down and drop old drafts/asks, clean up my followers list, and set a lil boundary. hopefully after i do, i can get back to writing and bugging y’all at a normal pace 💜
#or a normal pace for me asdfg#i just kinda? felt sick at the idea of coming online tonight#and that feeling passed but it made me go “oh i need to really do something about this huh”#and it’s not anything serious i think it’s more so understanding the way i am and what makes me anxious or overwhelmed and accepting that#rather than forcing myself to try and work past those feelings bc i want to make things easier for others#or bc i feel bad for letting go of things i don’t have muse for anymore#anyway anyway! i’m gonna finish my silly lil scary movie and hopefully have an early night#tbh the lack of sleep probably didn’t help my feelings today either :’ )#please take care of yourselves and remember to take breaks 💜💜💜 mwah mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Dude I need to be someone else
#sucks to say but I genuinely cannot envision myself getting into another relationship no matter how bad I want one -__-#everyone even the gays here are so normal and I’m so not . and I’m also completely undesirable. WHAT IS THE POINTTTTT#I keep sabotaging my own life by avoiding everything ever but the only thing worse than that is actually doing things#doing things makes me feel even worse like I’m sooo broken beyond repair . and the worst is that at least as a teenager I could count on#someone kinda just latching onto me. how I made all my friends. but obviously adults don’t and SHOULDNT HAVE TO do that. but still sucks fo#me 😭 I feel unfixable I’m too socially inept to exist#the only way to get out of this is by making myself uncomfortable over and over but god I feel like I need divine intervention before I#actually get anywhere. guys I’m hopeless 🤦#being desired on the internet DOES NOT COUNT you guys don’t know me like that. don’t even start .. LMAO
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