#I died at the massacre

[tbob-enthusiast]

So, I did a Thing...

(click for better quality!)

What if the Axolotl had a pantheon?

I was playing around with my main AU and finally got around to designing Blarbador (yes, his name is super silly. I love him. I got it from Blood Chains, which is a REALLY great Billford fic if you're interested!). In my AU, he's here to make Ford's life hell! What a lovely fella.

Stanford was cursed by Blarbador to never be able to stay in a single dimension for longer than six years, as punishment for his and his partner's crimes (that being Bill, who died before Blarb could bring him to justice). As an immortal, his punishment is eternal, and as a human, his torment is never ending. Blarbador taunts him about it from time to time, but it's rare for him to appear "in person" again.

And yes, my Ford is a huge centipede! I love him!

[bunglehead]

i really like this guy

[knifetomeatu]

HEARTBREAKING: the worst person you know sleeps like THIS

[littlestkoi-n]

the rage I feel when reading Blood of Olympus chapters 45-56 is almost equivalent in magnitude to the absolute joy I experience when reading The Last Olympian chapters 1-23.

remember when percabeth was good? when they meant the world to each other but had other people they cared about (nico, for one. both of them. so much), other worries and other storylines aside from their romantic plot? and when nico's completed arc wasn't repeated for no reason other than to dump more trauma on the youngest character in the series? when background characters were included in the story not for all the unnecessary last minute romantic subplots but because they were fun and fascinating to learn more about? and were actually friends with main characters? remember when grover was percy and annabeth's best friend forever? and antagonists were actually interesting and intimidating and had compelling goals? and the story revolved around friendship and family and loyalty? and death was definite and loss was palpable and battles were thrilling?

yeah. good times.

[sp0o0kylights]

"I feel him." El insists. "Alive." 

She hasn't said his name since Will first raised them all over the walkie, but every person in the room knows who she means. 

Not that Steve can say his name either.

"But we watched him die." Nancy says gently, before Dustin properly loses it from where he sits in the corner. "Owen's even sent someone back through to check." 

"Yes." El agrees, but it's clear she's frustrated. "He died here. But he's not alive here, he's alive over there." 

"In the Upside Down?" Steve asks, and pretends his voice isn't cracking with desperation and barely concealed hope.

"No!" El snaps, before taking a deep breath and collecting herself to try again. "Through the other gate." 

"Okay." Hopper cuts in, hands waving in some kind of "stay calm" gesture. "El, honey, I think we're all still hung up about the other gate." He pauses, before adding. "And how Creel dying opened it." 

El gives him a thousand yard stare. 

"I'm getting the crayons." Joyce sighs as she stands up. In a mutter she continues, "Should have gotten them to begin with." 

Silently, Steve agrees. 

xXx Eddie xXx

It goes like this.

A bat breaks through the side of the trailer. It swoops low, teeth rattling, but it doesn't attack. 

It emits an odd, echoing screech, before  flying through the gate, to the Rightside-Up. 

"Shit." Dustin curses wildly. "Shit, they're gonna try and invade!" 

"I thought they were guarding the gate!" Eddie protests, as that echoing scream returns tenfold, coming from the mouths of too many demobats. “If they wanted to invade wouldn’t they have done that already!?” 

"No, because Vecna was focused on opening more gates! This must be his plan--to open enough gates to push an army through. We have to lead them away!"

"Dustin-!" Eddie calls out desperately, but finds himself overwhelmed by bats as more and more break through. 

He fights through them, trying to get to Dustin, trying to listen to what the kid’s screaming.

He can’t hear him.

Not over all the screeching, the beating bat wings and the thudding noises as they smack at his head. Their teeth snap, tearing into every piece of him they can reach.

Eddie doesn’t know how long he’s been surrounded, but he hears the trailer door bang open--and shut.

"Dustin!" He screams this time, voice as loud as he can make it.

The kid’s faster than he is.

He’d planned this--or at least, had thought about it long enough to get himself a solid head start, leaving Eddie scrambling after. 

Fighting through the torrents of bats. Abandoning the gate because Hawkins can burn for all he cares--but there are people who don't deserve to go down with it.

People like Henderson, who have bright futures ahead of them.

Eddie tears his way towards Dustin, unthinking, just running.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid-!’ He thinks, but not at Dustin. 

At himself, because he knows the kid. Knows what to expect from how he acts in games. 

Steve even called it--and Eddie’s not stupid enough to think he was talking to both of them when he warned them about not being a hero. He was included purely because Dustin would fuss otherwise and they were short on time.

Dustin’s on the ground when Eddie finds him, and he whips his spear at the few dozen bats that attack him, their bodies circling, teeth biting. 

He gets in two good hits before shit hits the fan. 

To his right something explodes, flames high and reaching, a thunderous boom whipping out so loud that Eddie's ears ring. 

A shockwave nearly takes him off his feet, bandana pulled from his head and freeing his hair. 

Eddie crashes on the ground next to Dustin.

 Sees all the blood and doesn't know what to do. 

"Come on man." Eddie pleads. "Come on!" 

He doesn't get an answer. 

It goes like this.

Vecna’s dead. 

The blast that killed him was from some kind of explosion that took out all of Creel House. 

It fireballed skyward, and the Upside Down rapidly began doing….something, seconds after. 

Returning, Eddie decides, to whatever it was before the asshole got thrown in here. 

Or dying, maybe.

(This is easier to think about than the fact that no one could have survived that blast. That there's a black hole Eddie can see, and it has to wrap miles and miles around the Creel House because he's still near his trailer.

It the trees down the stupid hill didn't make it then Robin, and Nancy, and Steve--

He stops. Shakes his head.

If Eddie thinks about it, it will make it real. 

He can't let it be real.),

The monsters all fall as one, dropping to the ground like puppets with cut strings. 

Eddie had been pummeled by a few demobat bodies before he could get clear, though given how some still occasionally twitch and hop around weakly after, Vecna's death doesn't necessarily equal their own.

Madly, he crushes a few beneath his boots. 

Knows that won't bring his friends back. 

Stomps on a few more because he can't do anything about that, and he can't cry any harder.

It goes like this.

Eddie gets back topside to find Vecna's revenge in action.

 It's an act worthy of a mad god, not that Eddie would ever give him such a title. 

Hawkins wasn't split. It was consumed, with large portions falling deep into the earth that opened under it. Smoke chokes half the town from an outburst of fires, while downed trees and electrical lines make walking a chore. 

The road is a cracked and pitted mess, littered with holes large enough to swallow entire cars. 

Passage is nigh impossible by car, and downright dangerous by foot.

It makes Eddie want to sink to his knees in despair.

There were still people around, that first day. 

There were still people around the second and fifth days too. 

But then the monsters appear. 

They're not the demobats, or demodogs or even the demogorgons that Eddie was told of. 

They're something--else.

Mutated and mutating, taking on appearances that reflect both the Upside Down and the Right-Side Up (a term coined by one of the freshmen--Eddie can't recall which.) 

Actual flowers, great purple and orange looking blooms sprout teeth and attack. Vines stick out of arcade cabinets, carting them around like a hermit crabs shell. 

Some people breathe the falling little pieces of ash and suddenly aren't people anymore.

(It was Erica, who had coined the term. The Right-Side Up. 

Erica who was also deceased, because the fucking explosion didn't just take out the Upside Down version of the Creel house, but the real one too. 

Which meant Max and Lucas and Erica…

But Eddie's not thinking about that.)  

It goes like this.

Wayne's gone.

He'd been at the plant when the Earth had swallowed it, his first day back to work because he'd used all his PTO trying to find Eddie.

The coworker who watched it happen makes sure to tell Eddie his uncle insisted he was innocent. That the old man never stopped looking.

Likewise, the trailer is gone. 

It fell barely a day after Eddie had climbed out of it, one half eaten while the other teetered dangerously on the edge.

There's cops at the borders of the city. 

They’re been commandeered by the military and the feds both, and people in heavy gear prowl around like guard dogs just waiting to be let off leash.

Helicopters fill the air, always circling and searching. Units of men and women begin parading around with guns as they escort tanks and other battle equipment through the streets. 

They're looking for something besides the monsters, and they're happy to cut the phone lines and police the survivors to find it.

No one's allowed in--or out. 

Eddie tries to escape the first few days, after he realizes everyone who knew the truth is gone. 

Thinks maybe he can get to the Byers, and that super powered girl out in California, but keeps getting cut off.

Twice they've nearly caught him, which means twice Eddie has been forced to come to terms with the fact that he's one of the things they're after.

They know him by name.

They know he was involved in Creel's takedown.

Eddie"s not just being hunted by the town now. 

He’s being hunted by the United States as a whole. 

It goes like this.

Eddie doesn't want to die. 

Can't bring himself to take his own life, forever too much of a coward. 

So he berates himself while he hides.

Wonders what the fuck his plan is here. 

Focuses on surviving, stealing food, sleeping in people he loves houses and hoping maybe some of them made it out.

(Given how Gareth's and Jeff's places are both untouched, he doesn't think they did.) 

He’s never prayed before but now he’s praying to every deity he can think of. Hoping, wishing, that if he can’t get out alive, he at least goes down quickly. 

It goes like this.

Steve Harrington walks out of the woods with a nailbat in his hands, like a blood soaked fever dream. 

Eddie doesn't care. 

He hugs him so hard his own ribs hurt and the crazy thing is Steve hugs him back even harder. 

"You're alive." Eddie sobs, face buried in Steve's shoulder.,"You're alive, you're alive…" 

Steve grips him for a moment before whispering back; "And so are you." 

He pulls away and Eddie struggles against him, not ready to let go, fingers grasping at his shirt. 

Steve strokes his hair, his stupid tangled, gross hair and Eddie looks at him, desperately needing the contact to prove that Steve is real. 

That he’s here. 

 "I need you to listen--I'm not your Steve." Steve says, and Eddie’s so desperate for contact that the words don’t register for a moment. 

Not that they make sense when they do. 

"What?" Eddie asks. 

"There’s a--okay.” Steve sighs, before saying; “I am going to absolutely blow the explanation, but I need you to trust me.”

“I do.” Eddie says, even as Steve fulfills his own prophecy, and gives a completely nonsensical explanation.

At the end of it, Eddie can’t bring himself to care. 

As long as he has Steve back--even if it’s not technically his Steve, Eddie will follow him wherever he goes.

[eastbluecrewed]

...

[fortheloveofkiller]

Lovely commission done by @kimboltart of my OC Caldia and Killer. Thank you so much! I am absolutely in love 🥰🥰🥰🥺

[comikadraws]

Itachi's Age

Itachi's age in canon is quite a weird topic. Mostly because Kishimoto messed up the timeline completely with contradictory information scattered literally everywhere. And also because the anime changed him to resemble an adult. Depending on the source, Itachi could've been anywhere from 11 to 13 years old during the massacre. Now let's take a closer look.

The exact sources (as well as elaborations) are in the image descriptions. Pluses between panels mean that the panels do not belong next to each other. Slight edits here and there!

Follow-Up Post with a Timeline for Itachi's Life

Sasuke's age during the massacre

First of all, since many people seem to get this one wrong, Sasuke's age during the massacre is confirmed to be 7 years old. This is the only information we have for placing the night of the massacre on the timeline.

Databooks

The databooks will consistently put Sasuke and Itachi at a 5-year gap. Itachi is born on June 9th and Sasuke is born on July 23rd. Using this information, Itachi would have been 12-13 years old during the massacre.

Kakashi's Statement

Next up is Kakashi. He states that Itachi was 13 years old when he became a squad captain at ANBU. This information matches the one from the databooks and implies that Itachi got promoted in the short timespan of less than two months between his own birthday and the Uchiha massacre.

Sasuke's Memories

Now, looking at the manga, things are getting a little more tricky.

First of all, since this is very important for pinpointing the characters' ages, Japanese schools start the school year in April. The children who start school are aged 6. While this is not stated outright by the manga, it matches fairly well with later established information from the manga.

The Waves Arc takes place during Spring. So Genin must graduate/start in Spring as well (further elaboration in the image description).

And we know that Itachi began the Academy at age 6. So it is probably the starting age for all children in Konoha.

But now we run into our first issue just by puzzling together the timeline utilizing chapters 220-224. As explained in Sasuke's flashbacks, Itachi became Chunin at age 10. At some point, 6 months after that, he joins ANBU - which coincides with Sasuke's first day at the Academy which is most likely in April.

The problem here is the characters' birthdays.

6 months before April was October. Since Itachi's birthday is in June, he could not have turned 11 in that time frame. In other words, Itachi is still 10 years old when he joins ANBU. And since Sasuke is still 6 years old at that point in time, that puts Itachi and Sasuke at an age gap of 4 years as opposed to 5. Consequently, during the massacre (when Sasuke was 7) Itachi would have been 11-12 years old.

This would also be a much better match for Sasuke's depiction in chapter 402. Here, an Academy-aged Itachi (6-7 years old) is playing with his brother. Sasuke would be 2-3 years old rather than 1-2.

We now know that the databook information does not match Sasuke's flashbacks on multiple accounts and it's either because of their alleged ages, their birthdays, or both.

But Now Which One Is Correct?

The answer to that one is: We don't know. Kishimoto didn't pay a lot of attention to his timeline and Itachi is the biggest victim of that. But we can guess.

Right now, the databooks are contradicting the manga. One solution to this problem can be found in the novels. In "Itachi Shinden: Book of Dark Night" (chapter 6, part 2) in a conversation between Danzo and Hiruzen, we learn that Itachi was aged up on paper to lead an ANBU squad.

While the timelines are not a perfect match (for example, the novels state Itachi to be 11 years old during his promotion to ANBU), this is a plausible explanation for the discrepancy: The databooks might just reflect the information considered "official" or "known" in-universe.

The databooks would remain (mostly) accurate in this regard. It would explain the 4-year gap between Sasuke and Itachi from the manga. It would explain the memory from chapter 402. It would explain why Kakashi thinks that Itachi was 13 during his promotion. It would even explain height inconsistencies between manga Itachi and databook Itachi, knowing the data was messed with.

In conclusion: Itachi was likely 11-12 years old during the massacre. Furthermore, this means he was 16-17 during part 1 of Naruto and 20 at the time of his death.

If you're interested in a visualization of Itachi's life in a timeline, check out my follow-up post.

[scrivenger-grimgar]

"well, the Uzumaki and Uchiha have around 25-ish members again, which would allow them to be reinstated as clans allied to the village by charter right," Tobirama stated, entirely unfazed by the eyes of the many clan heads watching him speak. Itama shifted his tiny (painfully tiny, was he always that small??) body in his hold, gripping on tighter to his mother's fur collar. both he, Kawarama, and Nawaki were heartbreakingly silent through the whole ordeal, even when the resurrection started by way of the lost Hatake boy, Orochimaru.

"but the Hatake and Senju still only have less than 10 and 15 members respectively, meaning that there would be a power imbalance between the four newly resuscitated clans. given the feud that is, arguably, still active to some of us revenant, it doesn't seem wise to leave it be."

and that was the crux of the matter. several members of both the Uchiha and Senju that had been resurrected had died when the Senju-Uchiha blood feud had been ongoing. both his brothers (his brothers!!) had died far before the village had even been a thought in Hashirama's wood cork of a brain, along with Madara's own siblings, like his older brother Hidehiko, Izuna, their younger brother Matsuri and his twin sister Shouko, and their youngest sister Choushi. thats not even mentioning the adult shinobi under the same circumstances; 22 year old Senju Yasuiro and 28 year old Senju Fuushinshi had attacked and injured Uchiha Kouga, and also injured the man's 12 year old niece Uchiha Rukia, before Tobirama, Madara, Hashirama, and Mito managed to tie them all down.

(if Fuushinshi was sporting a break in his arm, in the same place as young Rukia, well. That was between Tobirama and his cousin.)

"Thats not even mentioning the non-clan shinobi who were resurrected, who, in all likelihood, are probably related to one of the four clans in question. if they become affiliated with said clans is entirely by their own choice." he said, his tone brokering no room for argument. Tobirama was honestly surprised that he hadn't been interrupted yet, but it might be the shock of having so many once-dead shinobi in Konoha's meeting hall.

pursing his lips ever so slightly, he looked to Hashirama, holding Kawarama who was making faces at Itama, then to Touka who was standing behind Mito and holding Nawaki. his brother tilted his head and Touka nodded, flickering her chakra in code pattern for 'plan, question.'

Tobirama sighed, mostly as a visual sign of reluctance for the other clan heads present. 'contract, agreement. kill, home-clan; fade, wild-clan.'

Hashirama's eyes sparkled, his smile not fading from his face in the slightest.

"our agreed upon solution to both the power imbalance and the lacking size of the Senju and Hatake clans is to incite the charter's directory number fourteen."

only two of the clan heads seemed to recognize what he was referencing, tjose being the Nara clan head, as expected, and Madara, who literally co-wrote the damn thing with him. Madara threw his head back with thundering laughter, which Tobirama related to on a personal level.

it was extremely ironic that the ones to end the Senju way of life would be the very people who had been hurt by it the most.

Itama jerked in his arms at the noise, so he adjusted his grip to hold him tighter. several eyes landed on the still laughing Madara, who Tobirama knew was not going to explain anything. the Nara head didn't look any worse, so he either knew what the Senju used to be like, or he simply didn't care.

Tobirama had expected most of the clans to not have invested in that particular article after it was written, but... he was extremely unpleased with Hiruzen's puzzled, near silent question of "the what?"

Madara's laughter died off with the (to most) unexpected line of, "wonderful play, Senju." vicious smile almost mocking to anyone unfamiliar with him. which was everyone except him, Mito, Hashirama, and Izuna.

Tobirama simply inclined his head in acknowledgement. he ran one hand through his hair, carefully avoiding the carefully disguised braids he'd tied into it this morning with Hashirama, Touka, and Orocchi.

"to answer your question, Hiruzen, 'the what' is the clause in the village's Constitution that states, 'when a clan is no longer large enough to support itself and its members, an allied clan who is willing and able are to induct the clan into their own, allowing the continued survival of the bloodline. this can be enacted when a clan's number drops beneath the range of the clan's expected member count.'"

clearing his throat, he continues on, projecting his voice to call over the now disorganized shinobi.

"in essence, this means that the senju will join either the Uchiha, Uzumaki, or Hatake clans, as those three have priority over other clans in the village due to both personal and blood relations being closest. thus, to avoid further power imbalance in the number of members to each resurrected clan, the Senju will be hosted by the Hatake clan."

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[princeofuchiha]

Silly little hc that has solidified its place in my heart over the last few weeks: I feel that when Itachi was young (5ish) he was exactly the type of kid to have those little glow in the dark star stickers on his ceiling.

[atopvisenyashill]

“why would elaena marry a dornishman when they’re nasty evil people who murdered her poor innocent brother daeron”

maybe because once elaena grew up she realized that there were better ways of bringing dorne into the realm than violent conquest, and that daeron got the death he deserved from not just a nobility that is valid for fearing subjugation from valyria but also a smallfolk sick and tired of these people showing up every few decades to set their principality on fire, and put aside any anti dornish sentiments she may or may not have harbored as a child to see the way her family had directly attributed to their suffering, eventually even falling in love with and marrying a dornish man??

also, considering daeron ii attempts a type of proto-reparations act in bringing dorne into the kingdom, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that someone as intelligent as elaena would recognize the inherent racism in the targaryen conquest of dorne and especially considering the very loud anti-dornish, deeply anti intellectual faction in the blackfyre rebellions, realized they wouldn’t be kind or understanding of an intelligent woman like herself and had no interest in herself or her daughters (of which she had four!!) getting shoved back into the maidenvault again?

like, daeron i is on some andrew jackson manifest destiny shit, and if it makes me an asshole for thinking “god i wish someone had merked jackson before he genocided & displaced my ancestors, good on the dornish for realizing you can’t negotiate with imperialists” than i am perfectly comfortable being considered an asshole right next to my girl elaena.

[palfriendpatine66]

🚨New fic alert 🚨

Read here to be sad about an Anakin who learns to let go, does the right thing, and a tooka cat who saves the galaxy

[techno-rat]

Im always thinking about the tubbo execution t.b.h.

coz like it sucked for EVERYONE but schlatt and wilbur, who orchestrated it. Techno realized his allies didn’t give a shit about him. Tubbo was killed traumatically. Tommy watched his best friend be murdered by a man who he thought was his ally. The crowd is various levels of shocked depending on their allegiance

[portraitofadyke]

If I see someone refer to Bucky as an antihero or anything similar bc of the Thunderbolts trailer imma riot. ‘brainwashing’. ‘Torture’. ‘Bodily modifications without consent’. ‘Memories erasure and full control over the Asset’s actions’. Look up the meaning of those words and then come try to tell me Bucky is a bad guy gone good again

[luwuley]

me: you know season 3 wasn’t perfect, but I love this show and I’ll stick with it until the end. The fourth season could be total shit but there’s nothing they could do to make me not watch it.

me, whose favorite character is Five, and then Diego: oh-