#I couldn't have done it alone
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Mother
#Teru seeing loving parents and their children and even if he accepted his parents literaly left him alone#even if he is used to it#it still hurt so much#also i can imaginr he would struggle with some self guilt thinking what had he done that his parents left him#Imagine little Teru waking up from a nightmare in the middle of night and not having anyone to go to cry to or to have a hug#waking up in the middle of night abd there is only darkness silence and only himself#i think he would talk outloud to at least feel better#nothingbizzare art#sorry i couldn't sleep at night thinking of this#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#teruki hanazawa#mob psycho fanart#artist on tumblr#kageyama shigeo#shigeo kageyama#hanazawa teruki#the design u see now with Teru is my like post confession arc desing like when his hair just grows out
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it's still NMJ's birthday in my timezone, so have some happy Nie Bros !
#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#and maybe someone else too...#mdzs fanart#cql fanart#nmj's official unofficial birthday#i've been busy preparing for an exam so i could barely think about his birthday for the longest time#and i decided to just have the two of them hanging out; drinking; eating some snacks#and i used concept art of the unclean realm as reference#then i spent a lot of time worrying about whether the table was actually like meant for tea and if it was bad that they were on the floor#i almost made them play weiqi but their faces were already done and they wouldn't be all smiley while playing#anyway it's done#i hope my inaccuracies can be interpreted as the boys being alone and carefree#and maybe nmj likes plum blossoms more than chrysanthemus because i couldn't get them right XD
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Have You Met Them Yet
TW: mentions of inversion, character death, implied character death, cursing, guilt blaming (I probly missed some.. please click off if you find something that triggers you!) mentions of characters' actions(good and bad) {I don't know any southern slang- don't execute me..} {the ending feels a little rushed- I'm ngl}
it's my mission to make you cry let me know I how did!
I had a lot of fun writing this.. so um enjoy your readings! (no joking triggers this is a bit more serious than my regular writing style)
I met a person.. My person and of course like most of my relationships in this cursed.. After life. It started on the wrong foot. It seems a lot of stuff starts on the wrong foot nowadays.. Hmm.. Mamaw.. I don’t know why but I called them Darlin’ it just slipped out.. Then I encouraged them to do something stupid instead of telling their alpha. In which he found out later, but for now I'll focus on the beginning, after we met and traded numbers.. I wanted to aid them in the search of that bastard.. I know you’re turning in your grave hearing me curse right now..
And I'm sorry for that memaw.. Speaking of Bright and Fredrick they’re doing better.. I’ve been repairing and trying to compensate for how I acted toward Bright.. I don’t know if the dead can mess with the living.. But I felt you pinch my ear.. Haha. I wouldn’t be surprised- if you alone could.. But southern grandmas are like that. But I'm getting off track, one night I called darlin’ with some information, however when I called. It sounded like they were in pain.. Nowadays these ears don’t miss much- then again, they didn’t miss much back then either... But turns out.. My darlin’ hm.. Got into a fight with some vamps… they survived but got badly injured. They were acting recklessly.. And maybe it was the healer in me- or something else.. But unsurprisingly I practically drilled them with questions and eventually got some answers. That didn’t stop them from making it ten times harder than needed. But you could say I liked that about them. After all, in a way, we were still strangers to each other.
Darlin was badly injured and needed some help and I’m pretty sure they were planning on bleeding out to death on their couch. And honestly, it seemed in character for them. That being said.. It wouldn’t have felt right on my conscious knowing I could’ve helped but sat around doing nothing about it. But I couldn’t just up and leave after all I chose to take responsibility for the newborns at the time. So I pulled some strings and got Vincent to look after them while I stepped out for a bit. You remember Vincent, right? Tall and annoying, with a heart in the right place- when he’s not being a little shit.. And now he’s got backup, that partner of his is just as devious.
Nonetheless, I made my way over there, you know my bedside manner ain’t never been as good as yours Ma. But it got the job done. Hell, I even made a little joke, if they stopped getting themselves in life-threatening situations. I’d improve my bedside manner… and for a while, they didn’t get in trouble. They called me and wanted to meet me. I didn’t know why at the time but they sounded troubled. So I went over, to figure out what was wrong. You know me Ma, putting my head where it doesn’t belong. And once again I put the newborns on Vincent. I’m slowly running out of favors with that boy. What we talked about was less than savory, Blood bonds aren’t rare but when they happen between a wolf and a vampire. After all, we tend to distance ourselves from each other… have I ever explained what a blood bond is to you Ma?
I don’t think so, but whenever a vamp and another vamp come into contact with each other's blood almost always a bond is formed. Between 2 vampires you always know where the other is no matter what. However, between a wolf and a vamp, it’s a little different because of the 2 different types of magic at play. In the rare case that a bond is formed you get something different. You only know the location when the blood is outside of the body. And it seemed my companion, and Quinn formed a bond after their last encounter. And with that in mind. I practically begged them to stay safe, before I could finish my ‘’ friendly ‘’ chat. William called and someone wanted to speak to me. Hah.. I didn’t know David Shaw wanted to speak to me. It was surprising and sightly expected.. I went back to tell them some make-shift excuse, that I had to leave. And when he called I answered- and he asked to speak in person. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intimidated. He’s much bigger in person then what they give him credit for.
Ha.. that night the only question he had for me was ‘’ Is My Pack Member Okay? ‘’ despite Darlin’ not feeling a part of said pack.. They cared about them. David wanted to get the full story/ at the time we only had parts.. David told me his and I told him mine. From what I learned their relationship with Quinn was more than friends if you catch my drift Ma; and my Darlin was done with him when they found out what and how he viewed humans. Not only did Darlin leave him, but they also reported him to the department. In return, he attacked their friend Darlin arrived in time to save them. But Quinn got away- though Darlin fed him the lie Quinn was caught.. He heard about Fred and Bright and got curious.. And surprise surprise the truth came to the light… hm.
David then told me he planned on confronting them that day after all he knew where they lived. I was given a choice- and I chose to warn them… I thought they’d hate me. I don’t know why but I did. But Darlin proved me wrong, they called and invited me over. When I got there they looked like a kicked puppy….Pun unintended.. I’m quite sure I’ve told you the story of Alexis repeatedly.. And god knows.. But because I knew the story of Darlin and Quinn I thought it’d only be fair for them to know the story of Alexis and I. how my descent into the after-after life started.
And next thing I knew we were on the couch and I was staring into their eyes. God their eyes.. Were so fucking beautiful that night. I think that night is when I finally realized I loved them. Maybe it was before that.. I don’t know- but at that moment, I let all those feelings out. And my darlin’ let theirs out. And we fell asleep there on that couch, ( and if you’re wondering it's the same couch they almost bleed out on. ) but back to the story.. The next morning we awoke on the couch snuggled up against each other. And the plan was to hopefully leave before the sun rose. But when you’re with someone you care about you lose sight of time.
I’ll save you some of the sappy details, that you’ve probably been told already.. Ha..- eventually I wanted to make Darlin some food just before our day of comfort and clarity ended. And well- they didn’t have anything and I mean anything. How do you have a fridge full of condiments? But no food.. My Darlin was always a confusing person. But I’m sure they had a good heart.. But before I left I wanted to make sure they had a least a decent meal.. You know me Ma.
I would’ve just taken them to the store… but this damn immortality and practical allergy to the sun. Made that impossible and they wouldn’t have gone on their own. So I pulled out the more reasonable idea and with all this damn tech. You thought it was confusing back then.. But it’s only gotten worse now, like how many iPhones does one person need? Then the whole controller vs pc argument. There's just so much and this old man can’t keep up with it. Darlin tried to help me with it..but the lord bless their heart. But with this little knowledge, have i learned how to use a delivery app. I’ll admit, I struggled a bit- but we got the food Darlin wanted ordered. And wasted the rest of the day cuddling on the couch.. A few days later, I invited Darlin over hopefully I could encourage healthier eating habits. Even if I had to roast them over the fire. At the time they knew what a fully stocked fridge and pantry looked like now. The newborns were finally adjusted in the best way possible.. I don’t think anyone could adjust best in this afterlife especially not the way the 2 of them were brought into it.
Just as the the newborns were getting used to being vamps Darlin was slowly but surely adjusting back to pack life. They used to say knowing they care about me doesn’t help me feel like they care about me.. They were just so used to doing it on their own but they were getting used to everything again.
In a random twist of events, darlin invited me to their pack solstice. You know the whole moon-bound sun-bound shit... We didn’t have to worry about that when we were alive.. After all, freelancers kinda go with the flow.. Nevertheless, I wasn’t expecting to get an invite to their pack solstice.. I didn’t want to invade their fun.. You know? A vamp at an all-wolf party?
I was hesitant till Darlin said David wanted me there. I didn’t want to let him down. Had I not encouraged Darlin to speak up instead of shutting down I probably wouldn’t have gotten the information.
And as much as I wanted to deepen our relationship. Mentally I couldn’t, darlin understood.. They always did. So in the upcoming days, I went to the solstice and well.. It reminded me how anti-social I am.. Ha, Darlin left to go get a drink and I nearly had an anxiety attack. The Shaw pack is good people they still are.. Even now with everything that has happened.. But Asher tried to make me feel comfortable.. And kinda made an ass of himself..
Milo came over as crowd control. And Asher of course made a short joke which in turn made Milo retaliate with an invite to watch Asher get his ass beat. At that moment I didn’t what to say. And eventually, they wandered off.. And David found his way over to me- he was glad I came. And made a joke about Darlin.. I wonder if they went out to in fact fight a bear.. But Darlin came back with a red cup- they went to get a drink we teased each other. And enjoyed the rest of the night.
The inversion is still hard to talk about nowadays.. David almost lost his Best friend.. Vincent’s partner had to give up everything or die.. Maybe at that moment, I felt a small jolt of jealousy.. They had that conversation.. They got the choice I didn’t and the choice bright didn’t get. Maybe in that moment.. I felt selfish.. I.. god.. Ma.. you’d think I was a bad grandson.. It was something.. But my Darlin was right there when that ward went down. They were right there, the look they had on their face was just heartbreaking.. Then again everyone they knew and cared for was trapped inside trapped in inside a ward. And the fucking department was no help. But that wasn’t surprising. Milo’s mate and perhaps a few others are the exception, they know how to do their jobs… and with all that had happened, I just went on a drive.
I just kept driving, Darlin was busy with everything else doing their best to help their family.. Even if they're still adjusting, they can be just as stubborn as me. But when it was my turn to get some of their care- which I wasn’t aware of at the time. They sat outside waiting for an hour for me to get home. So when I pulled back into my driveway and saw them standing there I realized. How much they cared about me, and in that moment after I handed them the key to my house.. I realized just how much time I was wasting, they weren’t going to live forever for this never-ending game of cat and mouse. So when I handed them that key, I gave it my all. I stopped letting the past dictate everything I do. I wouldn’t let losing you, my parents or Alexis ruin what I had in front of me.
And I guess Darlin thought the same. They called me their Mate that night. Hearing that would come out of their mouth was, something different. Knowing something like that and then hearing it come out of someone's mouth hits differently. That night I learned to move on. I learned to accept and grow.. And so did my darlin. And honestly everything was going fine. Till maybe a day or 2 later David called with some information, quinn was supposedly up north.
And as soon as those words left that man's mouth. Darlin shot up like a crack on ice, and when David hung up. They started thinking.. I could it in their eyes. They thinking how far they’d have to go.. How fast they’d get there and how fast they could take him down. I tried my best. Had I not been there, they would have gone after him that night. Had I known any better I’d think they would sneaked out that morning. Hell, they’d get pretty far.. But I should’ve known something was wrong. Maybe.. Just maybe… but I somehow calmed them down. I made them a promise if the department doing do anything.. We’d go after the rat bastard ourselves.. Yeah.. yeah not the smartest thing I could have said in that moment.. But I don’t regret what I said that night. Quinn had caused everyone pain. And he’d been breathing too much and too damn long.
And for the time being, things were fine. Darlin tried to teach me how to play Smash.. If you remember the last time. We talked about Smash, I lost.. Destroyed.. They beat my ass so bad. I never wanted to play that damn curse of a game again. But Darlin offered to teach me. And by teach they meant watching me struggle. And even laughed a little, as I said.. This old man ain’t used to this. After I got my ass beat a few times by the NPCs I won a game against a different group of NPCs.. everyone needs a break from the games.. Like I don’t know if I could take one more micro transition before losing my mind you know?
So introducing Darlin to old-fashioned horror movies seemed like the best way to wind down. My big bad wolf kept getting scared out of their fur.. This time the pun was intended. And at this point, we made a habit of falling asleep on that damn couch. But now I can’t stand looking at that damn thing.. Then again I haven’t ever cleared their stuff out of our home… even now that it’s been months.. I can’t bring myself to do it. We moved in together almost a year and some change ago. And every moment of it was bliss. Once again I’ll save you the sappy details. I'm sure you’re gonna get fed them. And other teasing details. I wouldn’t expect any less from my Darlin. Unsurprisingly I got roped into playing Smash again mainly because Milo wanted a rematch. But like I said the pack is good people, and they need a shoulder to lean on.. As much as I do too. The night went by soundly.. Darlin set me up more than once. Which hurts by the way! But seeing them interact with the pack soundly was amazing.
It was a fun night, but it wasn’t going to last forever.. I wish it did. Over and over.. Day by day.. But no one can change time, no one can fight destiny…. Pun unintended. Maybe a week or 2 darlin got a call from David. After I had to go to work… you already know I work as a restate agent.. Never thought It’d be a path I’d take but here we are.. I wasn’t expecting a lot of things. Quinn had been caught.. He managed to take out 2 of the arresting officers.. But he was brought in, only problem was he had a girl.. And she was on borrowed time.
And the only person he wanted to see was me. He was refusing Darlin's Acknowledgment.. He had already run from them once. Now he was taking this away from them again…but I knew they needed to be in that room. Somehow, they convinced me everything would be fine. That they’d watch from the glass
Every word that left his mouth hurt..like hot iron on the skin if I thought he was a monster before. Hearing him talk about Frederick.. And.. I, that girl was the only thing tying me to that room.. One thing I wasn’t expecting, was for him to air out his.. Romantic life with darlin.. You don’t do that to someone you supposedly love- then again he wouldn’t know what love is even if it slapped him in the face. It felt like hours before he shut up.. God I never wanted to punch someone so badly. Maybe that's a bit of a lie.. I’ve met a lot of people I’ve wanted to punch in the face.
At that moment he just took the cake. I sat there listening to it all cringing.. I wasn’t my Darlin there’s no doubt they thought I was judging them.. I wasn’t. I promise you, the last thing on my mind was judging them. I wanted to leave that room and just hug them, and never let go. Eventually, he shut up.. I guess he realized he wasn’t getting to me. And he told me where that girl was. And with that information, I practically ran through the door.
I needed to get to them. I wrapped them in a hug, they may have fooled the others with their poker face. But I knew. I saw through it like a glass door. I held them close in that moment. Kissed their temple even. I was doing my best.. I wanted them to feel safe. David helped them while I was in the room with him. He did his best. He promised them he’d get Quinn. I should’ve known the damage was done. I should’ve done so much more than what I did... because just maybe.. Had I tried a little more.. Maybe they.. Would’ve had..
They were already going through so much.. And it didn’t get better. After I tried to calm them down and make everything better.. Fucking David called.. With the worst news known to man. The girl was already dead.. She had been for 2 days. All the proof Quinn showed was fake, they were taken before he drained her dry. I was distraught and that creature.. Had taken another life, and his actions would claim another.
Darlin and David told me. Everything wasn’t for nothing at least that girl's family got closure. I know that should’ve been enough.. But it wasn’t and I hate myself for that.. Me and Darlin drove in silence… ha.. You know Ma.. I’m a bit of a crybaby nowadays..
Have you met them yet?.. God, you too would have so much to talk about.. That night when we got home. After David's phone call..we-.. we just needed each other. I hadn’t realized they holding on to so much more than I thought.. People tend to say Stress kills. I just didn’t believe em. Darlin fell asleep in my arms.. They didn’t even try to talk my ears off. They went to sleep with a smile on their face, I should have known.. I.. my Darlin..was gone. I should’ve known.. When their body went cold.. There were so many signs, and I just brushed them off. Had I, just noticed something sooner than I did.. You guys wouldn’t be meeting as fast as you are.. They had so many years left. Darlin.. Hearing that girl didn’t make it. Having to relive everything.. To be exposed like that in front of the people you care about.. You were under so much.. I should’ve done better.. But you can’t take back the past. Only learn from it.
I love you..you brought your light to this darkened cowboy's life. You showed there so much more to life. Then living in the past. So I came here, to tell you both.. I love you more than anything. And I would have loved to give you my last name in due time.
Sam stands and places Red Orchids on the gravestone. As his tears rolled down his face.
‘’ My big bad wolf.. With a heart of gold..’’
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WC: 3.5K (or if you wanna get specific 3504) another thing. the flower choice was very specific
#redacted sam#redacted david#redacted darlin#this entire thing was inspired by First By Chase Matthew#redacted asher#redacted vincent#redacted bright eyes#redacted frederick#andd this is done.. it took a bit out of me.. I couldn't decide on the ending so this wasn't the original ending#i wrote the order of events from memory alone- thats how many times i've listened to Sam#the solstice parts I kept getting mixed up.. sooo yeaaaa hopefully you all like this#Stress kills.#redacted lovely#redacted audio#the other ending ended up with sam dying actually- in which the titled would have been '' reunited ''#im sorry this took so fucking long.. ADHD is a bitch-#redacted angst
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What am I saying, it's all symmetric. This is the universe where we both figure it out in the right place at the right time, or none of us would be here. I'm going to do what I did the first time I woke up, and trust that he's sleeping and he'll be back. I think from now on, that's going to work, and if it doesn't, I love you all.
I'll see you tomorrow.
(No spoilers, darlings. I don't want to be here without him, and there's at least one other person who's still here who wouldn't want to be here without me, so I think we all have time now. Just stop hitting yourself and it will all be okay. I'm going to listen to the playlist we made each other and go to sleep. I promise I'll still be here in the morning, and if I'm not, half of you already know the way.)
We'll tell the others in the morning. ❤️ I love you all, and so does He. We'll be better at showing it from now on.
Good news! I'm human, and I always was! An angel told me! 😂
#hello and thanks for all the loaves#i think i may be about to teach you all to fish#it may involve a new economic system and a bunch of dad jokes and lies to children and deeper truths for children#but it's all going to be better from here on out#follow your rules and it will all be fine#taste and see#the lord and the lady are both pretty darned great but neither of us is perfect#we all suffered bitches#let's get you some science and/or religion#thanks for opening the box#i couldn't have done it alone#i can't wait to hear all the stories#this is going to be perfect#but not for you#not yet#❤️#(what else can i do?)#i guess all the GNC folks are already perfect but I'm glad someone is 😜#but don't worry#every single person who's still here has been redeemed#and everyone you miss will be back#i can't believe i get to meet some of my heroes#i can't believe i was the villain in half your histories and my husband was the villain in half your futures#i can't believe there are so many time travellers and we never fucking noticed#i can't believe the rapture was happening gradually the whole time#i can't believe we let it get so far out of hand#but here and now it's not too late#i know because i'm awake writing this and you're awake reading this and we're in the garden so there will be no more asymmetrical suffering#i'm going to believe in all of us and put on the playlist and go to sleep#if you're reading this and you're still nervous i suggest you do the same
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desperate murderer hollyleaf always seemed more interesting than fanon. because she’s at her breaking point and not thinking clearly the way she usually does and should. it would make more sense if in animations she’s portrayed as fearful, angry and shaking instead of quiet and surefooted. do you think she tripped and fell after disposing of the body?
REAL!!!! Like I said, that detail requires time and effort. It's a lot easier to do a quick clean kill rather than two cats struggling violently in a fight, ya know? it's one of those things where other factors should be considered. But man I wish Hollyleaf's murder being depicted as sloppy and tactless was more common, even if it was just implied.
I like the idea the struggle in the water splashed water and turned dirt to mud, slipped and fell into it when she was trying to pull herself out of the water. Covered in a thick sludge that makes her feel soaked in blood and viscera. It's a horrible feeling.
#deer rambles#it's why i like my cinderholly hc that cinderheart knew and covered for holly#hollyleaf couldn't have done it alone. she was in such a horrible place
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DONT FIND OUT WHO THE BENEFACTOR IS IN MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA??? ITS A MYSTERY?? WHERE IS MY SEQUEL GAME I NEED TO KNOW RN
Literally one of the most interesting things is the politics on the nexus like what is UP with director tann that man is either suspicious as hell or the most well meaning dumbass?? and KESH? she's my girl but I lost like FIVE scouts and she voted against me??? I did SO MUCH FOR YOU I'm sorry I chose to save one of the ONLY PATHFINDERS WITH ANY EXPERIENCE and CIVILIANS over some scouts?? I wasn't choosing salarians over krogan I'd have made the same call if it was human scouts don't yell at me!
#mass effect#mass effect andromeda#pathfinder ryder#yes im almost done#it's only taken me 6 years to finish this game but im getting there#spoilers#i guess#AND DRACK LEAVE ME ALONE I MADE A JUDGEMENT CALL CAN YALL CHILL#if it had been just scientists vs scouts i might have chosen the krogan but i COULDN'T let the pathfinder die there are so few of them!
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Let me chew you out a little, since we have a couple minutes (Patreon)
[Panel 1] Prismo: *mumble* *mumble*
[Panel 2] Prismo: *mumble*
[Panel 3] Simon: Hmph. “Just because it’s in your head-”
[Panel 4] Simon: “-Doesn’t mean it’s yours,” huh?
[Panel 5] Simon: Give me all the responsibility with none of the privileges?
[Panel 6] Simon: And then you get mad at me for trying to pick up your slack? Prismo: Hey...
[Panel 7] Simon: Clearly you already expect that much from me!
[Panel 8] Prismo: Hey, hey! I did the best with what I had! I didn’t expect any of this!
[Panel 9] Simon: And yet you didn’t even consider telling me, so we could’ve avoided this?
[Panel 10] Prismo: It’s not like I could’ve just- taken it out! I was locked out!
[Panel 11] Simon: You could’ve done something!
[Panel 12] Simon: Instead you let my life spiral around this thing, kept me tethered to Ice King’s Madness-
[Panel 13] Prismo: Fionna and Cake are real thou- Simon: NOW you tell me! After I find out for myself!
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Prismo#They have like two minutes where they're alone together that aren't directly shown onscreen: Allow me to insert some ideas lol#As long as Simon isn't so faded that he can't work the nerve up I Absolutely think he'd get mad at Prismo for all this#Not like he didn't just come back from a terrible experience trying to work around his terrible dregs! He's very miserable!#Honestly I think the anger would be good for him lol#He's had to live like this for years! Under Ice King's shadow for something that wasn't his doing!#And he knows Prismo - he met him - they talked - but not about this#And I mean I honestly don't blame Prismo - with everything going on and his own depression spiral he had a few things on his mind#It's in a bad way for everyone#That said he is a Wish Master he really could've told Simon at any point even if he couldn't take his little pet project out of him lol#Then again again what Was he supposed to do lol#As much as I would trust Simon to keep a secret I don't think either of them could've expected Simon trying to summon Golb to do this#Obviously it /did/ happen that way but could either of them have guessed?? I don't think so#''Don't go summoning your ex-'' ''She's not my ex >:('' '''Cause there's an illicit universe in your head and you might summon that instead'#Like what no I don't think Prismo could've just - guessed that! Lol#He did leave Simon out to dry vis a vis Ice King and Fionna and Cake tho which was Not cool and he Could've done something about that#Although I can also see Simon snapping and telling someone that it wasn't his own stories - there's no winning!#But that's what makes the argument fun haha#Man they're both fun to draw ♪ Simon in that dress and Prismo's tiiiiired tired eyes haha ♫#It was shortlived but they have a fun dynamic :D Simon speaks so deadpan and sarcastic with Prismo haha <3 It's quite cute honestly
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self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💜
HMMMM well i really liked these edits
and obviously these ones (1 2 3) but i couldn't really put it on here gfhjk
#i went back through my blog's edits in chrono order for this fhgjk#whats important to me anyways is that a lot of these i really couldn't have done alone- like in terms of advice or motivation or rendering#or even just the base idea. like idk c for community right#sorry for the long post :') this was just kind of nice going down memory lane pretty much#ask#reply#salemsimss#tysm for this ask!!
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#had a tough day today bc i had to meet up with our hr manager for a 'talk' about my absence#i was so nervous for it that i was drained before it even began#i asked a colleague of mine to be there#an older man who i trust with these things bc he's very calm but often knows what to say at the right time#and is very sensitive#he could tell i wasn't doing well before i told anyone#he's dealt with his own darkness as well so i know that's why i gravitate to him#the conversation went okay. i said what i wanted to say#the hr manager clearly wanted to see me /wanting/ to come back on monday lol#expecting a quick fix like they always do#she did take away my main points so i really hope i see the results. and i asked to come back without my manager breathing down my neck#i hope that gets respected too#then afterwards. after already almost crying a million times my colleague asked if i wanted to bike with him to this statue#that got placed here today bc it's a traveling thing to raise awareness for suicide#he supports that cause bc his son is a victim of suicide#and i could tell he was having a hard time but then he also actually said it#i was crying man. he doesnt know how deep it goes for me but#i think i gave him a bit of comfort being there. showing i understand#when i got home he texted me to thank me for going with him bc he couldn't have done it alone.#im gonna cry myself to sleep tonight#my posts
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New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission
New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF
#yippie peace through tyranny!!#nemesis posting#Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles#Matrix Visions#I like this “chat” font I think it's cool#spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately#I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time#wegh. It'll get done. Eventually.#I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe#I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much#Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does.#I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes.#Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons*#But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler.#Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit!#Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe#I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff#It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe!#And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!!#My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests!#It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion?#Still figuring that part out!!#Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun
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I've been thinking a lot about what Karlach says to Tav in Avernus, "I shouldn't have let you come here"... As well as what she says earlier, when you suggest going to Avernus together for a a second time, "Zariel will turn us into sheep, then have mutton for dinner. Let's stay here, where it's nice."
It implies a lot... That she doubts her own and Tav's abilities, and doesn't want to endanger Tav... She doesn't doubt Wyll's though. I think it must be because he's BEEN to Avernus several times before, and is intimately familiar with Zariel's court and its politics through his dealings with Mizora, whereas in her mind Tav doesn't really understand what they're suggesting...
It's so sad to think of her feeling guilty for choosing to live, and allowing someone who loves her to stay with her...
#bg3 spoilers#karlach#wyll#i think karlach's right in that she and stella couldn't have done it alone though#stella's a competent swordsman and magic user by the end of the game and karlach's a tank#but three people against the world have a much better chance than two
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got myself a little pocket radio bc you never know when severe weather might knock out the power or cell towers but apparently there aren't any weather radio stations i can pick up :/
#there just aren't any in my area#and im right in between the two closest stations so they interfere since they're on. the same frequency#there ARE other radio stations in my city im listening to one right now that plays alt rock#like From This City not even a neighbour city#but there's none that report weather#i wanna have a weather radio bc i have a deep fear of tornadoes#ive been doing tornado drills since i was a small small child they're a pretty common thing here#and i have had. so so many nightmares where i got stuck somewhere during a tornado#stuck in a car as it gets picked up or stuck at school watching the building just disintegrate in front of me#one time we did actually get stuck at the school during a tornado warning they couldn't let us go home bc we had to shelter#so we were kept at the school for maybe an hour until the warning lifted just curled up with our heads down for so long#i still instinctively know the tornado sheltering position- legs folded under you; head down as far as possible; hands covering your neck#even though i haven't done a drill since i moved nearer to the lake#tornadoes get less common closer to the lake but living in the middle of nowhere they just Spawn Everywhere#another time we got word of one touching down while i was on the school bus going home#i was literally the last student on the bus and we were like at the corner about to turn to my street#and the bus driver decided to just stop there and let me sprint home bc it was faster cutting through the woods than going up the driveway#she just opened the door and said 'just go straight to your basement don't stop don't wait for anything'#she waited to make sure i could find the key bc i was home alone and then just drove the school bus to her own house so she could shelter#I've never seen any tornado damage firsthand but like. you never know when one could just wipe out a town#especially small towns like my old hometown if that place ever got hit by a tornado nothing would be left#it's literally one street that's the town center and most of the residences it's TINY and getting smaller every year#i think it'll be a ghost town soon most of the businesses have shuttered and a lot of houses are condemned
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Extremely burnt out unable to draw anything when I have both free time and shit ton of ideas hardest battles for the most already tired soldiers
#ive been trying to draw sybil for like a week#sybil and max meeting up post 305 being like youre alive/you had a baby??? at eachother#also the thought of sam and max babysitting for her because theres no way shes dodging all those jobs and a newborn#and we all know abe wont help for shit#she would be hesitant at leaving them alone with a newborn at first tho#sybil going to max like no offence but you guys are a bit extreme at times besides I don't think you have any experience with babies#and max would pull out a wallet out of nowhere that opens with a comically long collection of photos of them the geek john and sam jr#like the proud mother he is#i value their friendship a lot if you couldn't tell#alright got it out of my system im done now i think#tea talk
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some people really still treat drugs like it's a fun little thing and im trying SO hard not to get mad about it
#like okay so the set-up is this my flatmate (F) is chronically ill and is on immunosuppressants as well as a fuckton of other stuff#and she started smoking weed bc it's the only thing she's ever found that even touches her pain#ive NEVER had a problem with that ive never had a problem with WEED even IVE done it a couple times#but me and her have VERY different attitudes towards drugs#i came from a hometown where we were between two notoriously drug-high towns/cities and we get caught in a lot of the trading#between those towns so naturally my town just generated a fuck ton of dealers starting when they were like. thirteen years old#i saw it through my entire year i was exposed to class A drugs when i was like. fifteen at parties and shit#it's HUGE in my town i seriously can't express how much it's crippled the youth of my town#like my childhood best mate's brother literally got glassed bc he got into debt with dealers it's just everywhere#so that alone makes me very wary of drugs and like. the novelty of them is just NOT THERE for me at all i actively dislike them#AND THEN there's all the kids in my year that have died bc of substances. there's the phone call when i was AT A PARTY#that my seventeen year old cousin had OD'd. like that just summed it up for me it's so prevelant that i was at a party with drugs#while he was dying. so yeah wholeheartedly i couldn't give a shit about drugs i wont touch anything stronger than weed and even that#im not keen on. my flatmate however? she DOES drugs like she smokes regularly and she likes edibles#but she doesn't come from a druggy place so it's a weird combo of me (doesn't do drugs) knowing more than her (does do drugs)#and bc she's the one who actually does them she pure WONT LISTEN TO ME#and do u know what happened last night? this girl on IMMUNOSUPPRESSANTS got completely fucked#like drank 2/3 of a big bottle of vodka within an hour. and then she fucking went and did ket#and i literally was like 'that would be an awful idea anyway but ket you're REALLY supposed to not mix with alcohol'#like obvs mixing any high class drugs is bad news but ket is renowned for going bad with alcohol#i think it's bc it shuts off the opposite side of the brain that alcohol does? so taking both increases risk of shutting the whole thing of#or smthn. like people forget than an overdose isn't always fatal and i think bc they associate overdosing = dying#they assume the risk is EXTREMELY low especially when ur young and feel untouchable#AND THEN she smoked some weed as well. like i literally sat sober with her and her mate the entire time and again in the kitchen#bc i thought id distracted her from the weed and sitting with her she thought i was just hanging out#like NO BITCH IM MAKING SURE YOU DONT KHOLE BC YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO LISTEN TO ME#and i hardly slept last night bc i convinced myself when i woke up she'd be dead in her room#and we had such a nice day planned today like it's super sunny and me F and another mate are spending the whole day at the park#but she's just cancelled bc she feels too shit and im just. TRYING not to be angry about it#WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO DUMB
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today's lesson is teach your kids to use public transport so they do not end up like me bc holy shit
#took a bus to the capital. missed my stop. had to take a within the city bus#which i've never done. bc the town i grew up in doesn't have any. and i wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone as a child#couldn't figure out how to scan my ticket on the second bus i had to take in the direction i just came from#for some reason i defaulted to english. in a non english speaking country. to tell the driver idk how to fucking do this#he just waved me through. so that remains a mystery to me i guess#almost missed my appointment bc of the bus shenanigans. made it tho#then when going back the street my ticket said had 5 stops. the ticket didn't soecify which#straight up crossed the street back and forth 5+ times before i even figured out which side it was supposed to be on#that left 3. all of them only listed within the city routes and i was trying to leave the city#i had literally no fucking idea. i just took a guess#i was right!! but good god#i spent hours getting tattooed today and figuring the bus was the most excruciating part#i like the bus!!!! but no one tells me step by step how to do things like they're programming me and then idk what to do#and then i freeeze and miss my stop or start speaking a non native language for no reason. just tell me what to dooooo#anyway i love my new tattoo it's so fucking cool#it cost. too much it was almost a month's rent but let's say it was a treat. let's say it came out of my dad's life insurance#he would be so mad lmao
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