#I WANNA SLEEP BUT THE ANXIETY
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vent below!
if someone does have random advice to share that would be absolutely lovely /gen
i feel lowkey silly for being scared of having a cavity since i’ve recently gotten bad with brushing every night and tomorrow i wanna tell my mom about this but im scared of getting ridiculed and then im scared that i actually do have one and something big has to be done or whatever
and ive been bad with brushing ever since junior year too like i’ll go days without and then think oh i probably should tonight and i even set an alarm every night to brush and i always just ignore it sometimes
like i don’t feel any pain or anything really funky but it doesn’t exactly look okay ish? then again my teeth are all weird and silly looking anyhow
i even legit searched up how to tell if you have a cavity and i could check everything off as false; i don’t have any lingering stuff from eating sweets, extreme temperatures also have no effect, the only issues being that im bad at hygiene in general and i’ve gone days on end without brushing (as i’ve stated before)
i’ve had cavities before when i was much, much younger (like. i think somewhere between kindergarten to 2nd grade maybe? whatever, i still have a filling from forever ago) and haven’t had any since then if memory serves me correctly
what makes this all feel worse is that im 18 so i might have to do paperwork n stuff and i am also absolutely TERRIBLE at calling people unless they’re very close to me but even then im still anxious when calling anyone
i’ll just be praying to whatever deity or other like entity that im perfectly fine and im just overreacting
also i should mention that the tooth im worried about is the bottom right molar (?) im not good at identifying teeth but it’s those big teeth in the back before the wisdom teeth
(and if someone here is able to actually tell what’s going on with what little bits of info i’ve provided that would be cool too. just please be nice about it)
#vent tw#I WANNA SLEEP BUT THE ANXIETY#i even set an alarm specifically for telling my mom my woes and worries
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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I feel like I will meet the voice actor one day.
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#inside out 2#inside out#inside out anxiety#She's just so damn cute#Look at her sleep <3#Smart thinker#I wanna hug that plushie but I'm foreign#Everytime I think about her during school#memes
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTEST WIDDLE SNAKEY WAKEY.
I can't believe my son is 18!! I estimated a birth date for him to be about a month before I got him in fall of 2006, since he was such a widdle month-old baby sneky. I always try to get a good birthday pic of him - especially after he eats and gets the good yawns in.
Pretty soon, he'll be off to snake college, for snakes. Dunno how we're gonna afford those ssssnudent loans.
Image description below the cut:
First photo is an albino corn snake (species name: Pantherophis guttatus) peeking out from behind a fake flower on a rocky hide (a house inside the tank where reptiles can feel secure and hidden). The snake is flicking his tongue out. Only his head is visible in the photo. Caption on the photo reads: Demo's 18th birthday. August 9, 2024.
Next photo is the same snake, but in a clear, close-up, detail photo. Each scale is clearly defined. He has red eyes and pink cheeks, and pale white patterns on an off-white body. The scales on his head are shaped to follow the different planes of his face. The scales on his neck (and body, not shown) are uniform and scallop-shaped.
The next three photos are sequential. The same snake appears with his mouth barely open. Then, his mouth is wide open in a yawn. His cheeks look so smooshy. His head is shaped the way a snap hairclip opens, curved upwards, and it's funny and cute. His mouth has ridges inside, but no teeth or fangs are visible (because his teeth are too tiny to be photographed politely, and he does not have any fangs). The last photo in the sequence has the snake with his mouth still open, but the top of his head is a normal shape again as he begins to end the yawn.
#snake#snakes#corn snake#snow corn#snek#sneks#snekblr#reptile#reptiles#Pantherophis guttatus#Elaphe guttata#cute#pets#pet birthday#18#tank is bare in the pics bc i ran out of spoons while washing everything#i forgot i have to wash decor outside and it got dark and i didnt wanna get bug bites so i had to...#...do a whole sink of heavy dirty dishes (not mine) AND wash the decor around the thawing meal for him#...and then disinfect the sink ofc bc i was at my limit after only getting the hide and water bowl washed#was gonna do it earlier in the day but ppl were moody downstairs#hes gonna sleep off that meal and sippy sip rn anyway (was already in his hide by the time i refilled my water and went back to my room)#i got a drinking vid but he was facing away from my vantage point and it makes him look like a hognose bc of refraction lol#anyway i gotta get ready for bed myself today was busy and i didnt even finish the one thing i planned to do bc im too tired#Cori.exe#Image.exe#i would do a silly edit like i usually do for demos bday but again i have no spoons rn#hhh added image description and now its almost midnight aa gotta post fast#*now its midnight lmao#ughhh i couldve been ready for bed in the amount of time it takes me to proofread an unacceptable number of times#anxiety is a mf 'what if i misspelled a word' 'what if this phrasing is awkward' mf im the only one that cares shut up
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What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,
#Shima speaks#I’M SO UPSET.#THIS IS JUST RUKKHADEVATA ALL OVER AGAIN. GENSHIN STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS AND MAKING ARCHONS CRY#Why is it always the women. Stop doing this to our women.#Genshin Impact#Imagine putting on an act nonstop continuously for hundreds of years and not being able to tell anyone the truth#And dealing with the anxiety of your whole country dying out and it weighs on your shoulders and makes you so stressed#And you cry yourself to sleep every night bc you’re so tired you’re SO tired and it’s been centuries but you have to keep going.#You have to keep up the act you have to keep faking it you have to keep lying#You have to pretend everything is fine when it’s NOT and you don’t know what to do and you still can’t tell a single fucking SOUL#AGHHHH FURINA. MY SWEET GIRL. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS#Genshin Impact spoilers#Furina#Focalors#I just wanna scoop her up into a big hug and tell her it’s okay 😭 Girl you don’t gotta act anymore you can finally FINALLY rest
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teenage girl problems when i'm 24 :)
#how do people go to parties without having severe anxiety about it#like i'm probably going to an lgbtq+ party somewhere in the new year (a club party#not a home party)#and i know 1 person there#and i'm just already stressing about it#bcs what if i wanna go home?#i cannot go home#i have to sleep over at their place#what if i have no one to talk to#what if i don't want to drink and they all get drunk and i end up hating it#what if i'm not strong enough to tell them no and end up getting drunk anyway with all the consequences ....#( i take like 3 drinks to get drunkish so... )#what if my ptsd acts up bcs of the amount of people in the room#what if i get panic attacks and ruin the night#what if i ruin their night#i don't wanna ruin their night#most these people don't even know me and i have to be liked
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hi hello im just gonna complain in the tags so don't worry about that hope you're having a nice time a good day cozy soft day to you my friend ✨
#complaining in the tags cause why the fuck not right it's my house and u don't have to read this bless#hope you're all doing better than i am cause fuckinggg#had fucking insane work weeks with barely any sleep#as reward i guess got sick basically slept for two days with fever#still sick trying not to be sick cause i've got full work weekend also but i am so tired#i've already been tired and now it's even worse i hate it here#also people pissing me off sincerely men fucking men pissing me off so much and i have to be nice but i wanna strangle someone#like fuckinggg stop asking me stupid shit please stop thinking we are friends i am not your friend i just have to fucking work with you#people playing with my time also cause i guess tf would they ask in advance i don't have kids so obviously i'm available to work#at a drop of a hat right#im so tired my friends#and depression is depressing and anxiety is anxieting#i need a breather idk where is my air where is the air in my lungs idk idk#also wtf happened to tumblr again i've not logged in in what? two weeks and they fuck up the dashboard yet again i don't understand#insane thing to talk about at the end of this tag complain rant i guess#anyway
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so you know that tumblr post about getting rushed to the hospital and they find out you’re deficient in the vitamin and it fixes your whole life? yeah so that might be happening to me rn - apparently i have a fairly common genetic mutation that makes your body real bad at processing the vitamin that your brain turns into serotonin and dopamine and such which is almost certainly a part of one condition i have for sure and i wonder if it’s also why im just generally a deeply gloomy and unmotivated person. i looked up the prescription they gave (for a form of the vitamin that my body can better process) and apparently its main use is alongside antidepressants in people who don’t respond to them (this is not why they prescribed it to me to my knowledge, mainly it’s just to get the vitamin in a way my body will process). unfortunately the prescription is like $200 but fortunately it’s apparently available otc. please god let me feel good and functional i need it so bad.
#i also wasn’t expecting them to genetic test my blood work but it’s whatever i guess#also i’m really confused because on the mandatory depression and anxiety screening i like#put down the lightest answers possible that don’t read ‘i’m intentionally throwing the test’#like yes ma’am i can’t focus and i sleep a lot and sometimes i get a little nervous but i never get sad or anything#and they were like You have mild depression with anxiety#like sure maybe but going off my answers all i said was like#i suck at focusing and i ❤️ sleeping everything else is wonderful#like i specifically calculated the answers to stay below my guess at the threshold and look like normal human stuff. what da hell#threw it cause my mom was there and i didn’t wanna talk about my real feelings with my doc who is my homies mom
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(OOC: Dude- I haven't had a good nights sleep in- I don't even know how long- My anxiety has been making my insomnia kick in-
Ooh! I should play some Pokémon Violet on my Switch! Who needs sleep when you've got Pokémon to feed and love? They need me!
Great idea, yippee! No sleep! YIPPEE!)
#ooc post#yipppeeee#no sleeeeep#insomnia go brrrrrr#anxiety go brrrrrr#i wanna play pokemon now#yayyyy#you cant make me sleep#hahahahahahahahaha
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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.
He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.
omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you’ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.
it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.
drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.
#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning#but it made me laugh too hard and I was like#no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD#but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck#only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao#I love him I’m gonna str*ngle him so bad#anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD#but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since it’s been a little minute#everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao#I’m becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one ☝🏻 at a time or else I start getting the shakes#also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing#okay bye I’m gonna read a little and sleep#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬#tw: alchohol mention
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Maybe pulling an all-nighter was a bad idea :)
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...what if Krok still does those lil excited or affectionate head taps they do in sports...
Like, he goes full on headbutt because they just survived something really dangerous and stupid and the adrenaline is still going and next thing one of the others knows is that he's grabbing their collar and clacking their helms together with a breathy sorta "holy shit we're ok!?" kinda laughter
Or other times, when things are going rough, or they're about to jump into the thick of it, or someone's on the verge of panicking, he's instinctively reaching for their helm and pulling them close with a gentle but firm tap, reassuring words, and one hell of a "we probably got this" pat on the shoulder
#krok grabbing one of the scavs excitedly just to fucking. bonk the shit outta their helm is greatly amusing to me rn#can't sleep. head hurt. anxiety is going a wee bit haywire. but silly scav thoughts prevail#was thinking about the whole. mask touches/nuzzling thing. bcs i got spin and grimlock on the brain still#but foobaw is also still fresh on the mind. and dots connected somewhere ig... ik krok plays soccer. but they're naturally helmeted. sooo??#BONK (affectionate)#love when krok is depicted that way. just a lil affectionately 'violent'. or not so affectionately. he should get to bite people either way#its enrichment. or whatever has been said before by incredibly genius krok loving mutuals with visions of peak krok-ness#...is that a sentence rhat sounrs right? idk. mutuals cool. big brains. yeah👍#augh. i need my head to like. depressurize or smth. feel like my eyeballs are gonna pop out my skull. tis hard to sleep eith#tried figuring out how i wanna word my thoughts on spin for that post star made(hi). but cant figure how to go bout it#rhe analysis route or just hc related rambles... idk. i figure it out later ig. sleep times 👍
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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My anxiety is here 🫳🏼
When it should be here 🫴🏼
#do you think this has anything to do with my lack of sleep?#its been a tough year lads. im aware were only half way through jan#anxiety#can you not#please#heart palpitations#i need to eat#🙃#i dont wanna get personal but after tonight i wont have anything to distract me from the reality of whats happening#lemmie rant#ill delete it later#and that will be that
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Do I buy another coffee? Yes or yes?
#mine#text post#I’m on like three hours of sleep#and I can’t tell if another coffee is gonna make my anxiety into a panic attack#or if it’ll make me wanna fight god#either way those are both constant states of being for me#so buy a coffee it is#thanks glad we had this chat
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