#I GOT SO MUCH CAFFEINE IN ME
Text
My personal take on Patrochilles is that they are both lovers AND friends. You know how a relationship often starts with a friendship first??? Well they never grew out of the friendship part of their relationship. But their relationship is neither romantic nor platonic. They just,,, are. There was never strictly a time where they stopped being platonic and started being romantic - the lines of the nature of their relationship are really blurry - as they grew older they just started displaying affection in different ways. There was never a need to put a label on their relationship. Because like,, why have Achilles lose just a friend or just a lover - when he could lose a lover, a friend, a best friend, a brother, a comrade, a partner-in-crime ALL in one??? Really drives home the idea of Achilles' grief and rage - he literally lost the man who was everything to him.
Long story short: qpp patrochilles (in a way)
#today on me not being able to grasp the concept of romantic love.#but do you know how much more fun this dynamic is.#“that's my friend achilles” “but you just made out??” “yeah. so?”#their dynamic is also a caffeinated owner and a rabid dog on a leash. good luck on figuring out who's who.#this is slightly incomprehensible i'm tired as fuck and i'm about to leave for school but i needed this out#hope i got the point across though#niko rambles
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: so yeah i feel super dizzy and lightheaded when i stand up and also just at random times of the day and also my heart just starts pounding randomly and it skips a beat randomly at least once a day and im also experiencing these other small things that i realized probably arent normal
the cardiologist: yeah, your heart’s beating too fast, but that’s just Normal Teenager Things™️! probably just like dehydration or something lol
#at least he sent me for blood tests and stuff#(which all came back normal)#and i have to wear a heart monitor for three days#my parents got mad at me because its been happening for a while and i didnt say anything#but in my defense i genuinely just didnt know that it wasnt normal#i thought that it just happened sometimes#also i didnt know the amount until i actually started to have to track it for the heart monitor#and maybe im not drinking Enough water but i genuinely dont think thats the main issue#i could be completely wrong but it feels like its more than that#we’ll see i guess#once im done with this and they get the results in and decide if they want to just brush it off or whatever#also had a nurse who was like weirdly insistent that i mustve been drinking a shit ton of soft drinks#just cause i mentioned that ill have a soft drink with meals sometimes (not nearly to the extent she was trying to say)#and she wouldnt believe me or my mom when we said that the soft drinks are pretty much always zero-sugar zero-caffeine#tachycardia#i mean thats what the doctor said it looks like#i dont really know what else to tag#chronic illness#maybe???#i dont know i dont have a diagnosis or anything so i dont wanna be like “oh thats def what that is”#also#pots#possibly#i did a shit ton of research on my own and i just really felt like what i was experiencing was lining up with it#but i dont wanna self diagnose
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
For the oc question thing
🎹🥊🧠 for Ripley and Taliesin? I wanna know more about your sidesteps :)
(i'm deeply amused by the fact that i did interpret this emoji combo not as "these correlate to specific questions on the ask game i reblogged!" and instead as "mm yes Brain Fighting Piano makes sense")
🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?
Tal: i've said it before but i think if they weren't trying to be a supervillain they would make the most insane synth music you've ever heard. they like music that is loud and crunchy and keeps your brain from being able to think and they're the right kind of nerd to teach themself music production for fun. not quite a hobby per se but it's also been my headcanon for a long time for them that they've been learning ASL, so i think they practice in their downtime, maybe take online classes if they got the chance.
Ripley: ripley collects stupid novelty lighters. he loves shitty horror movies and would love horror games if he had time for gaming between his previous commitments of "Beating Up Superheroes" and "Enduring The Terrors". despite his temper, he really likes working on meticulous technological things- he's the kind of guy to build his own PC and do all his own repairs on it, for better or for worse. i'd say he could get into robotics, but he's Also the kind of guy to tape a knife to a roomba and call it a security system, soooo. (oh god, in an ideal world, ripley would compete in those battle robot competitions, he would LOVE that shit.)
🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?
Tal: they love escaping from themselves, feeling like they've made a tangible difference, and taking their time to drink their coffee in the morning. they hate making snap decisions without being able to understand the bigger picture.
Ripley: he loves working on a DIY project, spending time around dogs, cleaning, and telling people No just because he can. he hates being told what to do, lying, giving in or giving up.
🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?
Tal: i love their strong principles, exploring their complicated moral compass, and accidentally giving them a different hairstyle every time i draw them and saying "fuck it, that's canon now"
Ripley: i love his terrible bastard attitude, the power he holds just by being himself, and drawing his shitty choppy DIY haircut <3
(thank you for asking!!! the oc ask game questions are here for anyone interested :3)
#taliesin becker#ripley hawthorn#cryptic ocs#fhr#fhr sidestep#oc ask game#if there are typos in this post. no there arent <3#(i woke up at like 4:45am and wrote most of this before i got caffeinated)#(forgive me)#tal and ripley both hold truly special places in my heart bc even tho i made them years apart from each other#they both represent something i very much needed to know and hear at the time i created them#so getting to do little introspective things about them is so fun.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I name all of my snake plants after Baltimore Orioles players because...I don't know why I do that.....anyway Adley (she/her pronouns according to my parents) and Adam Jones are making the trip with me but Chris Davis is TOO BIG FOR THE CAR and I'm so sad now. That was my emotional support snake plant through my FMLA leave. He has seen the worst of me (mental illness, forgot to water him for a month) and survived. Now he's like four feet tall and I have to leave him behind because he is so big that he takes up more than a third of my luggage space in the car 🥲 I took such good care of him that now he has to live independent of me. Goodbye Chris Davis I will think of you fondly as I encourage Adley to grow big and strong.
#all the trailing plants have to stay behind bc they got too long and crushable and elias the monstera has to stay bc my parents put him next#to katrina the monstera and now they are entangled and basically have to live together forever. also elias is halfway to ceiling#my parents name all their plants after the friends they rescued the plants from. my plants are all named after athletes#he got so big and strong with katrina who is AT the ceiling. katrina named after a trans woman btw. monstera rights#elias was a reclamation project for my parents bc i was struggling so much in life that he took a backseat. but he lived#i'm not good at anything but unkillable plants. so actually not very good at plants?#the 2019 draft class succulent garden is staying behind too as is nico and his babies (jade plant). they love california too much#but now...now i get to see what east coast plants i can acquire...and try not to kill#if i get another snake plant i will name him gunnar. or colton. i don't know who else is on the orioles. that guy with the hallmark channel#name. jackson holliday??? blorbos from my prompt meme's fanfics#maddy postoperation and m pindergarten can you guys advise please#fresno oilers.txt#GUYS i leave tomorrow and i'm so excited i can't sit still (<- caffeinated)(excited)(giant bowl of ice cream)(excited)#not to be corny. because things are going to be difficult. and i am scared my dog will die. and a lot of things are up in the air#and some of my career plans got 🌪️🌪️ due to circumstances out of my control in a way that is very anxiety-inducing#and what if the moving company loses one of the legs of my table or my dad's journals or my emotional support 3000 pieces of paper#but i keep thinking like even if it all ends up INCREDIBLY awful - it won't but even if - i will have space to do art and i will be within#walking distance of a farmer's market. so even if my life completely sucks i will be probably able to procure farmer's market bread#and eat it while drawing or collaging or making giant paper flowers. which i can't do right now#my friend j said something really nice to me. a lot of people have been like you are running from your problems this won't solve anything#but j said if you hadn't had every single part of your life in california blow up in a single calendar year i would be telling you to#man up and stay and fix it. but i think you need to reset completely bc it's been hard for so long and just keeps getting harder#i think if you get a chance to get your head straight and get away from everything compressing you here you'll do amazing#things for yourself and others. and if/when you come back you'll be better equipped to handle everything this state throws at you#i was like man don't make me emotional at this ballpark while i have an ice cream sundae melting on me#but yeah. yeah.#and i hope she's right!!!
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't wanna take over the world, it sounds like a lot. but you know, laying siege to a golf course sounds really nice sometimes
#just me hi#i'm giggling thinking about it hfbvhs#you can use the sandbanks for cover and if you plan far enough ahead you can start farming around those little ponds#and you can steal golf balls :D and use them as currency ?? or just collect them :3#and you could use the tennis ball guns to shoot the balls at people of course!! and you're supplied with sticks when you get there !! free#weaponry !! :D#and if you can hold out for long enough you could start planting rose and blackberry bushes in places they wouldn't look#why? bc roses Always Come Back#and blackberries will take a minute but who can get mad at a blackberry bush !! nature's surprise :D#oh and of course you could have a noble steed too (golf cart) !! :DD#and you could make the building a castle#and make a little gnome town in the fields once the battle is over#OH you could build a miniature golf in and around the town too :D for the funsies#/places are very cool i like places#could some be used better? oh yea for sure#i have dreams for abandoned malls hfvbs - some of my favorite places ever#that's one big odd thing i want. to have a mall to live in hfhs :3#is it a lot of space ? ye. but it's also SOO much space.. the possibilities !!#//anyway i Need to go for a walk in a city sometime soon lol#i miss the riverwalk aaa#GASP campus martius during the winter. my dearest#i didn't realize the threshold for being a city was so low lmao ?? like man these are just big towns what is this hfvbsh#//but aside from the city pining MAN#i got to drive earlier today ('got to' they put me in the seat and it wasn't very fun hfvbshf) and oooohhh#you know that feeling on a roadtrip when it's all worth it for just a little while.maybe when you broke over the top of a hill or looked up#from whatever you were doing to find a storm ahead and the rear lights of the cars seemed to blink in agreement with how gorgeous it all is#just that hfbsh :3#i like places a lot. sobs [<- crying candy hearts]#//okey i'm goin to go do my somethings now hfvhs :3 :D#music and caffeine are SO good ehehhehghhg [slinkies away so fast]
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
send help. it's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow. on my day off :(
#a sock speaks#work tag#food tag#it was high 80s today but I didn't even notice bc the air conditioner at restaurant job is punishingly high powered#I was wearing my long sleeved undershirt and leggings without any discomfort#but I have to run errands tomorrow and my car has no AC. the house also has no AC but is okayish at staying cool.#I wanted to make pizza today but didn't have time. might be too hot for pizza tomorrow :( but my ingredients are aging in the fridge#I finally got a paycheck but it's for the 2nd period I worked. I'm missing the first one and need to talk with the regional manager#and he's only in on Thursdays#also gotta request a day off to go to Portland with my cousin in 2 weeks#also gotta request off for orchestra which also starts in 2 weeks#also my aunt is trying to recruit me for a caregiving job and I'd have to take 3 weeks off to get trained#it'd be super easy to schedule both jobs once I'm trained but the training is a big time commitment#also restaurant job scheduled me for all graveyard shifts this week. if I can't adjust my sleep schedule I'll have to give a firm no on it#also gotta go to the bank to deposit my check and. uh. all of August's tips (terrifying)#also gotta call a vital records office in Maine about my mom's birth certificate bc we're trying to take her to Canada for her birthday#I don't think we have enough time but my sister wants to do it#also I want to finish knitting this sock that I started in June. I just have the toe left#also I finally confirmed the color and pattern for a baby blanket I'm preparing as a gift so I gotta get yarn#also I need to buy blackout curtains to fit my windows so I can sleep in the day if I work nights#also sometime this week my sister is cleaning the church. I want to go with her so I have an excuse to get ice cream from a shop nearby#also I need to clean my room and I should hang up the art prints & postcards I've been collecting for months#most of them are green to match my decor but some are just characters or scenes I like#oh! I also owe a postcard to a school friend#I had caffeine for the first time in several days and my brain is buzzing. there's so much I want to do and I have time to do it#and I'm excited about it!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
thebestdayofmylife.mp4
#fantastics from exile tribe#fantastics#jr exile#jpop#さわたい#ゆせれや#けとそた#ゆせなつ#せかそた#せかれや#300 new screenshots???? me????? idk what ur talking about#the sekasota photo.....i love it so much.....#the august boys sawatai yuSEREYA EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD I WANT EVERY PHOTOOOOO#yuseis smile;;;;;;;;;;;;;;#ldh this is the nicest thing youve ever done for me#ALSO!!!!! if anyone doesnt have cl premium!!!!!! i cannot record audio but i have silent screen recording!!!!!!!!#dm me and i will send u the link bc everyone in the world needs to see this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i woke up at 4am today and just got back from the airport but im not tired at all bc i have a caffeine called FANTA AND WANCHANZU
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
can my brain not convince me i have rabies and am going to die please. like can it not do that.
#i just randomly get these episodes out of nowhere where my leg will like this. phantom sensation that i know isn't real because#while i was bit by a cat last year it a) was vaccinated and b) the weird feeling is too far up my leg to be the bite#and like i know it's my brain being ✨spicy✨ but it doesn't make the fear go away#i was literally just stressing like i was going to die for like an hour before my body finally fucking calmed down#it happens more when i'm stressed for prolonged periods of time i think. or have too much caffeine.#like i literally just calmed down. my leg still feels weird but it feels less real now.#and like i will get to the point i will start self harming!!! not to the point of drawing blood but i think if it got bad enough i would.#fuckkkk dude. my 2 weeks off can't come soon enough.#it's been like months since this happened too. fucking hell. i hate it.#it's so weird too because this will be happening and i'll like. act normal. like no one will know i feel like i'm literally fucking dying.#because i know i'm not and i don't want to bother anyone. some day this is going to bite me in the ass.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Listening to this album, sipping a vanilla bean monster, working on cleaning after getting home from my optometrist appointment
I got sunlight and fresh air, a new rewards system for my daily cleaning, and Determination to make my life better
#speculation nation#music#audio#this album is just so peaceful. ok.#im now in therapy and taking measures to better my physical and mental health#AND to work with my adhd. hopefully itll be easier once i get meds but for now. Cleaning Schedule!#i was not. actually doing that much of the cleaning. but i have implemented a rewards system#that will give me bigger rewards if i can average more chores done in a week.#and if i can get 100% of chores done every day of the week. i get to buy the BIG prize (persona 2 eternal punishment)#i... do not know how long itll take for me to reach that point. but im gonna try!!!!!#using my new white board for GOOD!!! (self organization)#got a lot of tidying to do today. and ive got a lovely caffeinated beverage to keep me company throughout ❤️#Spotify
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had caffeine at like? 5 or 6pm to study after work and WOW that fucked up my sleep so bad
#my friend talked me into doing no caffeine for 3 days and it helped my sleep so much#maybe… I drink too much caffeine#whoopsie#or maybe i just can’t have any after 3 or 4pm#I feel like I got 0 sleep 😫
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
music making me insane in the head when i am already insane in the head due to school. making me more insane and yet it also cancels out so i might avctualyl survive this
#timothy's txts.#i have had! so much caffeine and i am having more now . also some tea. later i think i might get some matcha [erhaps or something along t#those lines. depending on ho wmuch evils and such i am feeling (<- the humours. the melancholies and the sulfars and the bile and things)#i might get a white mocha with dark caramel sauce and cinnamon dulce topping w regular milk#(<- something that will in fact give me severe tummy ache but is also so beautikful and true to my taste buds) also i don't work tomorrow s#i'm not worried about the ramifications for tomorrow#anyways i've got an essay and a lab assignment due tonight and also another assignment that does not lend itself to easy descriptions only#that i must write multiple words and also come up with multiple ideas by tongiht.#tim attends…
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh
#toy txt post#it doesnt feel quite right to me...........#maybe im just a Morning Person. lol. lmao even#idk how much that is true vs in high school i felt very much like a morning person bc#i was taking my adderall with coffee and then it would all wear off right at the end of the day and id crash soooo hard and have like.#anxiety attacks every night and just be generally overstimulated and irritable as hell#which is mostly managed now by me trying to be smarter about caffeine consumption (amount + when) and on a lower dose of adderall#but it does feel like a lot of that shit mentioned would be adequately covered by like. being able to take time off work to go to the#doctor etc. idk#im half joking these days when i ID as a morning person but legally none of you are allowed to get up my ass about it🔪#bc of the nocturnal bullshit i pulled on second shift for like 3yrs after everything around me decided to start closing early after the#pandemic hit even tho theyve re lifted every other miniscule precaution they ever enforced#probably bc no one wants to work night shift at the grocery store for like 12$ an hour. fucking offer better pay idiots#god even when i was a package handler working the super inconvenient hours of 3am-like. 9. 10am(inconvenient my ass that was ideal hours.)#the main reasons ppl left for other jobs: hours suck and they got offered better pay. they cant adjust the hours. so they shouldve#increased the pay to retain. and maybe have more structured start and end times that were less up in the air#like all the drivers leave at 9am so if theres anything left on the truck thatll be for tomorrow. since that fuckin happened anyway. idk.#honestly wouldve been more important to me to have consistent start times cos thats one of the things that pissed me off about that job was#like youd go in and before you left youd have to ask what the start time would be tomorrow cos they kept jumping all over the place by like#15min increments and like its once thing to do it on occasion to try to deal with like Bad Weather but it was like fucking Daily#and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard. but sometimes they wouldnt. and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard#and leave it up there forget to erase it and it would still be there but they told you as you walked out actually its not 4:30 tmrrw its 3#idk. i know the main real reason i miss it is cause it was part time and the day ended at like 9am usually
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
