#I DON'T KNOW OKAY JUST HAD TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM
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OKAY LETS DO IT
1. It's super fucking complicated !!
2. @decomposing-atm <3
3. An awful lot, way too much to list here and basically all about my childhood :(
4. Ehh 50/50
5. Taken <3
6. I've been debating this for ages and I'm still not sure
7. Uhhh homemade wild berry compote on Greek yoghurt (fuckin fancy ik)
8. Yep! I was very athletic when I was younger but then illnesses and eds SLAPPED me so I stopped for a while, but I'm getting into bouldering and weightlifting now that I'm recovered :]
9. HELL NO
10. Uhh when my older stepsister was round last weekend because she likes to hurt me totally unprompted ://
11. My boyfie hehe
12. Uhhhh maybe?? I've pulled so many all-nighters I can't remember
13. I don't hate people because I believe it's bad for my mental health, I tend to set boundaries and burn bridges if people are bad to me, then wish them the best and hope that one day they will truly find happiness and become a better person
14. A lot of people :(
15. YES!! My cat hermione hehe I'll post a pic of her cause she's super duper cute
16. Ehh a bit mixed atm, I'm just making sure I keep fighting because I'm sure as shit gonna make it out alive.
17. No and as "sexy" as it seems I am also a MASSIVE germaphobe so please can we do it somewhere nicer /silly
18. VERY VERY VERY FUCKING MUCH GOD DAMN
19. Definitely, and I know exactly when in my childhood :/
20. Uhhh I think his room HAHA
21. Yikes umm
22. I don't plan to have bio kids because I'm anti-natalist, but if I was in the right headspace then I would adopt older kids which got left in the system
23. I have 5 piercings, double lobe piercings in both ears and a septum piercing! I'm getting snakebites next year and I'll think about what else after that!
24. Uhhh idk I hate school so bad >:(
25. Very very much so :(
26. Chocolate HAHA
27. N/A
28. N/A
29. N/A
30. The state of the world, my home life, my lack of organisation??
31. Yes!!
32. I think green, but I love colours so I'm not sure, I'm more about vibes
33. DEFO
34. Uhh last night it was hugging @strawberri-bomb-bomb which was hella sweet because I miss them
35. Unfortunately my mother
36. I used to an awful lot, but I absolutely don't anymore
37. I may forgive but I never forget
38. Fuck yeah it will be
39. 14 <3
40. I fear not /silly
(Apparently they skipped some)
51. Man I love food so much I literally couldn't pick LMAO
52. I used to, but I lost my faith last year, I'm trying to get back to that sense of peace I had in knowing that what will be will be
53. Talk to my boyfie and drink chamomile tea
54. Absolutely fucking not!! unless you're trapped in an abusive relationship that you've tried to leave, any other circumstance go fuck yourself
55. No!! My whole thing is about peace, love, and kindness!!
56. Uhh not too many I hope
57. Absolutely 100000000%
58. SUNSHINE!!!!!
59. Hell yes, I wish we had it more where I live i love it sm :((
60. Yes!!
61. YES!!
62. So much that it deserves its own list
63. I already have socially but I will legally on my birthday!! If we mean change my name from my name now then I'm not inclined to, but I wish I chose a cooler name /j
64. The only challenge is distance /j
65. Then I'd tell them no thank you let's stay friends!!
66. Uhh I pick my friends very wisely so I'm comfortable around all of them I think, but some more than others
67. I have no idea I've slept for ages and it was like a coma /silly
68. Uhhhh I don't know maybe my boyfie??
69. ABSOLUTELY
70. The people closest to my heart
I did itttt!!
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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Fic of a Fic: Caroline meets Ellie
This is a direct homage to @clockwayswrites Caroline from their fic A Hill to Die on.
Ya'll can blame @deathlysilent13 for this.
Disclaimer: I am not super familiar with alters or systems, and in this AU Tim isn't thinking about it/stumbled into it--please do not take this an accurate experience in any way! It's just for fun :)
===
"You're pretty. Do you like boys?"
Caroline blinks. looking to her left and right, trying to find the source of the chipper voice.
It's 3am in the morning, she's just spent the last 5 hours dancing in heels—she can be forgiven for taking a little long to realize that the voice is coming from slightly below her sight line.
When she finally (blearily) looks down, a girl of maybe 7 or 8 is looking up at her with wide, bright blue eyes.
"Thank you." Caroline huffs a confused laugh, smiling as she leans down and braces on her knees to be a little closer and meet the little girls height. "You're quite the darling yourself you know."
"Thank you, I got it from my brother." The little girl blushes, apples of her cheeks truly working hard to turn the same shade as its namesake, but her wide-eyed curiosity is still not abated. "Do you like boys?"
"Yes, I do." Caroline tilts her head, biting her lip against a laugh. "But most boys don't like me."
"Well most boys are stupid." The little girl scrunches up her face in distaste, which is honestly too much cuteness for Caroline to handle right now. The Tim part of her is starting to wake up, albeit sluggishly, in the face of a possible lost child. "But my big brother isn't stupid! He's the best, actually."
"Oh?" Caroline looks around exaggeratedly, though she does scan the area the way Tim would. Nothing in particular to note. Weirdly empty for Gotham, but otherwise… "And where is this so-called best big brother? Little girl like you shouldn't be out and about so early."
The little girl looks shifty then, fiddling with her fingers and kicking up dust, mumbling. "He's still sleeping at his desk."
"His desk?" Caroline is a little worried now, truly. How far can a little kid walk? Caroline searches through her memories, but realizes that Tim's knowledge on such things would be heavily skewed and probably incorrect. Damian isn't the best example, and Tim used to stalk Batman. So.
"He fell asleep working." The little girl explains, before the beans truly spill out. "I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I wanted some milk, but Danny didn't have a blanket so I got him a blanket, and then I figured maybe he'd like some hot chocolate when he woke up, 'cause he always makes me hot chocolate when I can't sleep, or had a nightmare, but we didn't have any hot chocolate at home so I thought maybe I could get some hot chocolate, but the bodega's closed."
Caroline watches bemusedly as the little girl gesticulates her story, walking back and forth and presenting her case as if Caroline is the one who has the issue.
"And then I saw you, and you're like, really pretty, and I definitely think my brother would like you," The little girl beams up at her, as if she's done something great. "Jazzy said that Danny's been lonely, taking care of me all by himself. So I thought, if I can't give him hot chocolate, I can at least let him meet a pretty lady!"
Caroline laughs, she can't help it anymore, trying her best to stifle it in the echoes of the night. "Well now, that's very sweet of you!"
"Thank you!" The little girl wiggles in her happiness. "If you want to meet my brother, I think he'll be happy. We don't have to go if you don't want to though, Danny said consent is important."
"He's right." Caroline wipes a tear and smiles widely down at the little girl. "I'm also pretty sure he's going to be worried out of his mind when he wakes up and finds you gone, so how about we get you home, okay?"
"So you'll meet him???" The little girl jumps up and down in excitement, cheering, "He'll be soooo happy to meet a pretty lady like you!"
"That's very nice of you to say, darling." Caroline's eyes go half lidded in exhaustion, yawning as her smile quirks a little differently, Tim blinking a little more in the forefront. "But I'm afraid I'm not a lady most of the time. Most times, I'm a boy."
The little girl doesn't even hesitate. "Danny likes pretty boys too!" She reaches up a hand, as if waiting for Caroline, no, Tim? to take her hand and lead her home. "He'll be extra happy that you can be both!"
Tim doesn't know what to say to that—his skirt is starting to feel a little too tight, and his feet are killing him. Heels were a mistake, but at least his tights and sweater keeps him warm, even if it's off the shoulder and cropped. The sweater paws are appreciated at least.
"That's very equal opportunity of him." Tim decides to say, drawing it out as if unsure. It's very typical of Caroline to leaving Tim to clean up her messes. "But I'm not sure Danny wouldn't like a random stranger showing up on his doorstep with his little sister."
"Oh!" The little girl jolts, straightening up and putting her hand out for a handshake instead. "My name is Ellie Nightingale, I'm 8 years old, and I love my brothers and sister very much!"
"Hello, Ellie." Tim shakes her hand, deliberating before deciding fuck it. "My name is usually Caroline in this outfit."
Ellie eyes him up and down, scrutinizing him as she twists their clasped hands into a different hold and leading them seemingly towards her home. "But you're not Caroline now."
"I am not." Tim agrees, adjusting his gait into an awkward walk. His feet still hurt, but he's had worse as Red Robin. "Well, I am. But not. She went to…bed, I guess. So now I'm awake."
"What's your name now that you've woken up?" Ellie asks, stopping them at a crosswalk and looking both ways even though it's as empty as Gotham could ever get. Tim thinks on this for a moment, before again, deciding fuck it.
"It's Tim." He replies. "Caroline had a long night, and she thinks I'm better with children."
Ellie gives him a look for that. "I liked Caroline better."
Tim honks out a laugh, quickly covering it up with his free hand. "Sometimes I like Caroline better too."
"That's kind of sad." Ellie reaches up to pat Tim on his hip, the easiest place she can reach. "It's okay, Danny can like Tim better."
Tim feels his face hurt with how wide he's smiling. Kids are a riot. "Sometimes, when I'm a boy-boy, my name is Alvin."
Ellie shrugs. "Is he mean? If he's mean Dante might like him."
Tim, with a wobbly voice from holding in laughter, tries his best to answer. "He's sometimes a little mean."
"Dante can be mean with him. He's not as nice as Danny, but he's just as good of a brother." Ellie chirps, swinging their arms back and forth as she skips. "Do you have another name that Jazzy can like?"
"…I guess I was Todd Richards, once." Tim hums, swinging his arm with her and using his free hand to rub at his chin in thought. "Though he didn't stay long."
"Jazz doesn't like deadbeat men who leave." Ellie primly states, sticking her nose up. "Jazz deserves better."
"…Are you setting me up with all of your siblings?" Tim hesitantly asks, unsure how to explain that they're all monogamous, but like to share? He's never figured it out.
"No, just Danny." Ellie slants an offended look. "You have lotsa names but you're one person right?"
Tim feels lighter than a feather, and he's not sure how to explain that, so he settles for a nervous smile and nod. He's never actually sat down and thought through this whole identity thing in the first place—method acting gone wrong? Right?
Doesn't matter. Ellie's chill with it, so Tim's chill with it. Logic.
Take that, Dick. And Bruce. And Jason. And—
"It's okay to have a buncha names. I used to have a different name." Ellie continues over Tim's righteous thoughts, this time leading the way through a side alley. Tim is actually surprised how empty it is. "My creator was a dickbag though, and Jazzy said it's important for my i-den-ti-ty to have a proper one."
"Language." Tim bites his lip from snorting, noting the peculiar wording Ellie uses. "Creator?"
"Dante said it's okay if it's true." Ellie bites her lip, side-eyeing Tim as she pinches the fabric of her jeans. "And Danny says it's okay as long as Jazzy doesn't hear."
"Is that so?" Tim chuckles, subtly eyeing her fingers.
"It is so." Ellie sniffs, pinching the fabric of her jeans again. "Danny's the best like that." No pinching this time.
A tell. Tim hides his grin with a little cough. "Of course." Ellie seems to be pleased with Tim's agreeable actions.
They're just exiting the alley, coming around the bend, when the door to an apartment complex across the road swings forcefully open. A man, shirtless and NASA patterned pajama pants at barely cling to his hips shoots out, grabbing the before it slams against the wall, forcing it closed as gently as he can so that the security system locks engage. He's handsome even though his hair is a mess, with crease lines Tim can still see from all the way over here that indicate he was just asleep on possible pencil, maybe a screwdriver.
There are. Abs. And arms. Holy shit, those sure are arms.
Ellie perks up, zooming towards the man and dragging Tim with him. "Danny!"
"Ellie!" Danny's head whips up in their direction, the man running towards them with zero hesitation to scoop Ellie up into a hug. "Bug, you worried me, I woke up and you weren't there!"
Oh, shit, even his voice is nice, deep and raspy from sleep even through the sheer relief. Tim tries to focus on the conversation as Ellie recounts her obviously genius and completely founded (to her) reasoning on why she just had to leave the apartment, but ultimately fails.
Did he mention abs? And arms??
The man is taller than Tim by a good couple inches, and bulkier in the shoulders. He's robust, even with that shoulder to waist ratio that Tim (and Caroline) kind of want to aggressively bite at. Deliciously hunky, as Steph would say. He has a unique undercut that's all white, though the stop part of his hair is black as night.
His eyes almost glow green in the dinky streetlights, and Tim's kind of losing it at the soft helpless look the other man's giving his little sister once she's finished her explanation. He's got her sitting on one arm, holding her up so that their faces are level, with Ellie bracing her tiny hands on his shoulder and chest.
Tim kind of wants to cry.
"I know that—" Danny sighs, pinching his brow in a way only exasperated older brothers can. Tim knows, because Dick does it all the time. "I know that you're used to going out alone, but I thought we established that once you started living with me you'd tell me?"
Ellie purses her lips in what seems to be both guilt and indignation. "I did okay before. Nothing happened and I can take care of any bad guys!"
Danny's face crumples a bit for a flash of a moment, stabbing Tim in the heart like thirty million times. "Ellie, it's not that I don't trust you, it's that I care. What happened before…" Danny sighs looking a little distressed and at a loss for words.
Ellie reaches over, smooths a tiny hand over Danny's furrowed brow. "Ok. M'sorry Danny. I love you."
Danny smiles then, once more helpless, "I love you too squirt." Then, as if finally noticing Tim, Danny coughs and turns abruptly red. Like, super concernedly red, actually. Tim's worried he might feint.
"Oh, Ancients, sorry," Danny adjusts Ellie to put her down, but she clings to him, still a little upset. Danny smoothly straightens back up, patting her on the back as she nuzzles into his neck.
Seriously, Tim might die.
"Thanks for bringing her back to me." Danny reaches a hand out, "My name's Danny. Is there any way I can repay you for finding her?"
Tim almost says please date me but thankfully, Bat-training has him calm, collected, and in total control of his mouth.
"It's no problem," Tim smiles his best smile—a little awkward in Caroline's fit, but Tim's no stranger to women's clothing. "And I didn't exactly find her." Tim chuckles as he darts a glance at a now perked up Ellie.
"I found them Danny!" Ellie proudly pronounces, wiggling in place in her excitement again before scrunching her face. "Well. I found Caroline. For you!"
"For me?" Danny confusedly tilts his head, even pointing a finger at himself. "Why would you—"
"Jazzy said you're lonely." Ellie whispers loudly into his ear, Tim trying to stifle his laughter as he bites his lips. "And Dante said that you need to find a friend to have sleepovers with."
Danny's face goes alarmingly red again, slapping a hand to cover his eyes as he groans in embarrassment.
"I'm going to kill them—nosey older—" Danny grumbles, before huffing and smiling apologetically at Tim. "I'm really sorry about this Miss Caroline—"
"He's Tim right now!" Ellie interrupts, yanking at Danny's ear and causing him to yelp. "Caroline went to bed. I like Caroline more, 'cause she's so pretty, see?"
Ellie points at all of Tim, which causes him to smile shyly. He notices that Danny follows where Ellie points, gulping when he meets Tim's eyes again. "Y-yeah, I see that squirt but—"
"But Tim's been really nice, he treats me like a proper person! Most people just think I'm a dumb kid."
"You're not dumb." Tim and Danny say in unison, which makes both of them squeak embarrassingly. So much for Bat-training.
"See! So I thought Tim could be for you, and I could play with Caroline sometimes, and Dante could play with Alvin—"
"Alvin?" Danny asks quietly, to which Tim flashes three fingers, before pointing to his head. Danny nods understandingly before focusing back on Ellie. The quick understanding and no reaction makes all sorts of butterflies bloom in Tim's gut. Like a little mosh pit of bugs. Maybe he needs coffee.
"—and so I said that Jazz deserves better than that, right Danny?" Ellie smooshes Danny's cheeks, making him look all sorts of ridiculous and cute. "Maybe we can even share Caroline!"
"-at's right squirt. S-he does." Danny says through his squished face. He scrunches his nose up—which makes their relation seem so very clear, Ellie's the spitting image of him—before bopping his forehead onto hers and making her giggle as she lets go of his face.
"So, uh. this is all very nice of you, Ellie. I, uhm." Danny glances at Tim, wincing a little, "I love that you did something so nice for me, but you can't gift people, so we're gonna let uh, Tim get on their way okay?"
Ellie pouts, wriggling out of Danny's grip to hide behind Tim and grab at his skirt. "But, but you like pretty ladies! And pretty boys!"
"Where did you even get this information?" Danny's voice cracks, frantically looking back and forth between Tim and Ellie as if he's not sure whether to be embarrassed or indignant.
"Sam said you like pretty ladies that look like they can beat you up." Ellie ticks a finger up, looking up as she recalls this info, "and Tucker said you like guys who look like they need to be taked care of."
Danny groans, head in his hands and hunching his shoulders up to scrunch up as small as he can even as Ellie steamrolls over the noise, "And Jazzy and Dante said that you need somebody that can be weird with you."
Danny jolts up, straightening as if he's found some kind of salvation. "Hey, that's right, and I'm sure Tim is a perfectly awesome guy, uh, girl?" Danny looks at Tim in distress, making Tim chuckle.
"Right now I'm a guy." Tim tries to keep his voice soft and low, smiling a little shyly. Distantly, he wonders if he's smudged Caroline's lipstick.
"Right!" Danny coughs, red again, "Right, so he's a perfectly normal guy and totally not weird, Okay, Ellie? C'mon, let's not take up more of Tim's night, okay?"
"I like weird." Tim nonchalantly says, innocent as he lays a hand on Ellie's back. "I mean, I've got at least three people sharing space in my noggin. Sort of." She beams up at him and snuggles closer to his leg, a warm line of comfort and affection. "We can be weird together, I think."
Danny flaps his mouth open and closed, at a loss for words. Tim's not about to explain this whole method acting turned stress relief gender euphoria turned alternate identity thing, so he plows on.
"I'm sometimes a lady—" Ellie interrupts him with an adamant pretty! "—a pretty lady that can definitely put you in your place." Tim does a slow up and down, Caroline peeking through in body memory even if she's not fully forefront.
It makes Danny do that cute little squeak again—-That's three times now, and Tim wants to know if he can manage a fourth. It also makes Danny remember how shirtless he is, making the other man twitch as if he might cover his chest but doesn't want to bring more attention to this fact so he restrains himself.
Tim licks his lips, staring at his pecs and—there's that fourth squeak and arms crossing over that delicious chest.
"And y'know," Tim goes a little shy now, scratching at the back of his neck, "I sometimes forget to sleep and eat." He shrugs with a little moue of distaste as the words he's about to say, "My family says I'm kind of a workaholic and need taking care of."
"Oh!" Ellie bounces up and down, tugging at Tim's skirt again, flashing a little hip that makes Danny eep and slap his hands over his eyes. Big guy like him should not be this freaking cute, seriously. "Oh! Jazzy says Danny's a work-a-ho-lic too!"
"Yeah?" Tim says to Ellie, even as he keeps eye contact with Danny as he's peeking through his fingers, "Guess that means I gotta at least give it a shot, right?"
Tim's not sure where this confidence is coming from: remnants of Caroline, being so free with his other…roommates, Ellie, or Danny's reactions, but it's bolstering him up.
It makes him bold, and kinda reckless. Mr. Sarcastic would approve.
"Yeah!" Ellie agrees, tugging Tim's hand into hers. She pulls him towards Danny, who obliging gives her his hand when she asks for it wordlessly with her own. "You gotta at least try. Jazzy said you give up too much for me!" Ellie makes the saddest, most pathetic looking pout Tim's ever seen. "I don't wanna be the reason you're sad and alone Danny!"
Danny bites his lip, looking at Tim for a long moment. Tim tries to smile reassuredly, to convey that he's totally on board for at least one date. (For maybe many many dates?) His shoulders slump, but his blush is still rampant. It's crawling down his neck, up his cheeks and bleeding into his ears.
He's the cutest thing Tim's ever seen at 4am in the morning.
"O-okay, uhm." Danny fumbles with his phone, "I-I could give you my number?"
"Sounds great." Tim shyly smiles as they exchange numbers, Ellie keeping both their hands hostage as if they might run away the second she lets go. Good thing Tim's ambidextrous. "I'll call you, maybe set something up this weekend?"
"It's a date." Danny smiles, Ellie squealing in excitement and cheering as she finally lets go to jump around.
Just as they get ready to part ways, Ellie tugs at Tim's skirt again, cupping her hands in a bid for Tim to crouch down and lend an ear. He does so obligingly.
"Can Caroline wake up for a second so I can say goodbye?" She whispers loudly. Tim smirks a little, rummaging up the vestiges of Caroline and sort of—blinks.
"Goodnight darling." Caroline does a sly little smile, kissing Ellie on the cheek and winking up at Danny. "And you were right! Your brother is the best."
Ellie beams, giving her a kiss on the cheek back. "Good night, Caroline!"
#i tried my best#danny lives in gotham as a sort of freelance engineer so he can take care of ellie#ellie was deaged#and lives with Danny bc otherwise he wont take care of himself#jazz and dan live together so she can keep an eye on him#and lowkey give dan peace of mind that shes alive#the fenton parents are subpar parents but great grandparents#vlad is as always a dickbag#maddie rocked his shit when she found out about ellie#and then ellie destablized yadda yadda they saw the error of their ways#good reveal basically#their last names are nightingale because i want them to be#dead tired#brain dead#dani phantom#tim drake#caroline hill#tim x danny#danny phantom#dpxdc#dcxdp#dcu#red robin#tim/danny#ellie phantom#my writing
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Fanfics where Yor takes care of Loid will always be my favorite because Yor genuinely enjoys taking care of the people she loves; it's her way of expressing affection and she wants to take care of her (fake) husband, not because she feels the obligation to do so because of the traditional wife role but because that's how her heart is.
Loid, on the other hand, has never had anyone to truly take care of him since he lost his mother. His life has been a constant cycle of loneliness and distrust. Even if his handler or some senior agent ever showed him the slightest empathy or suggested he take things easy, he would probably have assumed they were only doing it because he was a valuable asset, a resource they had to protect for utility. Twilight would surely think that, the moment he stopped being useful, they would throw him away like just another object.
But then Yor cares for him when he's most vulnerable, unable to contribute anything, when he feels like he's nothing but "useless," Yor is there, attentive, genuinely caring for him without expecting anything in return. She not only takes care of Anya, but also keeps the household running smoothly, showing him that everything will be okay even if he can't take care of everything himself.And for the first time in a long time, Twilight lets his guard down. He allows himself to relax, let the exhaustion catch up with him, and finally rest because Yor, Anya, and Bond give him a peace he never thought possible.
I have all of these in my ao3 bookmarks but I need more please 😭 if anyone knows more please tell me 😭
Harbor by frumplebump
Succumbing to the flu is not a luxury Twilight can afford, but when his immune system betrays him, Yor is there for him.
swing the spinning step by firewoodfigs
It is a truth universally acknowledged that an overworked and underpaid spy must, at some point in time, be so besieged by a terrible flu—in order that his lovely wife might take care of him.
Something More by Thurito for nightofnyx8
The first thing the spy felt in the morning was such a strong weight on top of him that for a moment he thought it was someone who finally found his identity. His heart jumped, but as soon as his eyes were open and the man felt himself waking up more, he noticed what it was. He was sick. Twilight was sick. For the first time in more than a decade.
But I'm Here and So Are You by EmmyGracey
The Forger family returned to their hotel room after the airship crash wanting nothing more than warm clothes and a little bit of rest. When it’s Yor’s turn to get cleaned up she notices the cut on Loid’s head is bleeding again. She needs to take care of that. Loid’s not used to being taken care of. He finds it rather nice.
Spies Don't Get Paid Enough by Justanotherfannerd
Twilight does a shady mission that goes awry and Loid and Yor deal with the fallout. Purposeful obliviousness and injuries ensue. It's probably for the best that Anya is at a sleep over while all of this happens. or Twilight gets hurt, Yor plays doctor, and the both of them hide behind obliviousness.
Consequences by Raindrops_On_The_Pavement
Loid Forger is not indestructible, despite being Westalis's best. (I suck at summaries but I promise the story is good) Just a Loid Forger sickfic because why not? (The intro is a bit slow, but it gets sickfic/angsty dw)
A way out by MDSpencer
Twilight faces the consequences of his actions, and he seems to drag his family down with him
The Man From Mars by neejmorp
Something was wrong with Yor’s husband. He wore a constant smile on his face. It fooled colleagues, neighbors, and friends alike. The three people in his life who knew him best — his wife, his daughter, and his handler — all knew better. There was something off about his eyes. Loid survives a near-death experience following a mission abroad, but the incident impacts him and has an affect on his relationship with his family—particularly Yor.
You need to knock out this blondie more often :3
#spy x family#loid forger#twilight#agent twilight#spy x family manga#yor forger#sxf manga#sxf anime#sxf fic#spy x family fic#spy x family anime
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Defending Penny from Pokemon
No, Penny isn't a terrorist who's malicious and some kind of evil genius who is on the same manipulation level of Ghetsis.
This isn't an attack on the person who made the post, it's more of a counter argument. Don't harass others, and be respectful.
"Penny is a terrorist group/started on by making Team Star!!"
Penny first made Team Star as a way to combat the bullies who were well, bullying her. I am a victim of bullying myself, and Penny had more guts to stand up than I ever did.
However, it went too far, with the Team Star captains driving the bullies away. Penny REALIZED she fucked up. She realized that and told the Team Star captains that they need to stop because of how they damaged their reputation. And when that didn't work, Penny asked the MC to take down the bosses so the bullies couldn't leave in fear like she did, and the Team Star captains won't be expelled. Penny KNEW she messed up, and WANTED TO FIX IT.
If Penny was like "Oh the bullies are gone! Yay! Now let's take over the school!" Then I can understand your reaction. But she didn't act like that. She wanted to fix things.
"She really only started Team Star just so she could have a friend group of misfits like her!"
Wow, who would've thought that a group of kids who can relate to the issues of being bullied would join a team to bond together?
Seriously, human connection is a thing. Like, Penny could relate to the other outcasts in school. All of the Team Star captains were bullied, and that was something she could relate to. Like "Oh, you've been bullied! Same here!"
It wasn't just "GRRR WHY IS NO ONE MY FRIEND I AM GOING TO BECOME A TERRORIST AND MAKE THESE PEOPLE MY FRIENDS" because that's what Penny is like apparently.
Context clues and media literacy is important.
"Penny is a criminal because she hacked into the League and Deservers jail time!"
Okay, out of all the takes, this is one that I can agree on.
I do agree that Penny deserves SOME kind of pushback for hacking into the League Point system and stealing from them. However, she is still a child, albeit teenager, and should at least get something inbetween of slap on the wrist and jail time.
There are options between nothing and going nuclear. Chill.
Though, on that topic, Penny isn't gonna be like "LET'S HACK INTO THE GOVERNMENT FOR FUNSIES" because she knows that's a bad idea. The only reason she hacked into the League Point system was to give the MC LP for taking down Team Star bosses. She wasn't doing it out of malicious intent.
And she even STATED that she herself should get more of an extreme punishment. This is more a fault of the game for letting her get away rather than Penny herself saying she should get away with this.
In short, you're allowed to hate a character. But exaggerating what they did without showing the context of it all, it just makes you look bad.
If you find the original post, please don't harass them. That isn't okay.
#pokemon#penny#pokemon penny#penny pokemon#team star#pokemon team star#team star mela#team star giacomo#team star atticus#team star penny#team star ortega#team star eri#paldea trio#rival penny#pokemon scarlet#pokemon violet#pokemon scarlet violet#pokemon scarlet and violet
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Okay, this question has been making me roll and grit my teeth at night. Why do people make Sirius, Regulus, and Barty Crouch so feminine? I don't get it. It's almost weird in a way because Sirius seems pretty masculine to me, he just has long hair and a flamboyant personality. Regulus, we don't even know much about the guy and already I see fanart of his being a twink. And Crouch...I don't understand that.
I am not against mlm ships or gay characters/character head cannons. I myself believe that Snape is probably under that trans or gender-neutral flag (he radiates that energy), and that he is queer coded. But those guys? Ehh...it's weird how there's always a "top" and "bottom" for these kinds of things, don't you think? Can't they both just be masculine?
But can we agree that being gay doesn't mean being feminine? Can we understand that even if you make a crack ship or write slash, it doesn't mean you have to change the damn characters' personalities? I mean, if you want to pair Sirius with every male character in the saga, that’s totally fine, but don't create another character that has nothing to do with Sirius to fit your sexist and fetishistic stereotypes, seriously. They constantly reproduce dom/sub dynamics in homosexual relationships, with masculinized and feminized types, thus continuing stereotypes inherited from the heteronormative system. They're not doing anything radical, anti-system, or against J.K. Rowling; they’re turning Sirius into a stereotype traditionally assigned to women and making his supposed partners alpha males, reproducing these harmful dynamics. Sirius isn't feminine; Sirius is the most masculine of the four Marauders. Otherwise, Rowling wouldn’t bother mentioning a hundred times that he was super handsome, liked by the girls, had a motorcycle, or had posters of girls in bikinis on the wall. Rowling makes a big point of hypermasculinizing Sirius Black. Sirius is a tough guy from a hegemonic masculinity perspective—impulsive, violent, passionate, and a bastard when he wants to be. What you see in that fandom isn't Sirius; it's a damn OC they've created and named after him. He doesn't even physically resemble Sirius when they draw him because they always make him short and skinny when canonically, Sirius was the tallest of the four, and Rowling emphasizes how tall and intimidating he is multiple times.
I don't care about the ships because I think you can ship anything except some weird stuff, but just because you can ship anything doesn't mean you have free rein to make the characters hyper-OOC and have the audacity to convince the audience that it fits with the canon. No, it doesn't fit. If I want to read a Sirius x (insert any character), I want to read about Sirius Black, not some cheap imitator that the real Sirius Black would probably bully to exhaustion. Barty Crouch wasn't a sassy, cunty "uwu" type. Everyone was shocked when Barty turned out to be a Death Eater; his father describes him as someone who got excellent grades, seemingly a kid who flew under the radar, which is why everyone was so shocked when he turned out to be one of Voldy's boys. These people have turned him into a walking caricature, some kind of 80s diva that the real Barty never was. Again, they've created a character that doesn't exist and given him a canon name. And Regulus Black... What they've done with Regulus is also scandalous. In the end, they've turned him into a whiny, spineless, hyper-"feminized" character so that James can be the alpha male who saves him. Don't they see how terribly problematic these stereotypes are and the disservice they do to the community? I mean, they boast about being champions of LGBTQ+ representation, but all they do is reproduce super toxic and harmful clichés that perpetuate dynamics from a misogynistic and sexist heteronormative perspective. And on top of that, they do all this by completely changing the characters, dismembering them, stripping them of every ounce of their true personalities, and replacing it with their made-up nonsense.
#marauders#the marauders#marauders era#marauders fandom#the marauders fandom#sirius black#regulus black#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#dead gay wizards#dead gay wizards from the 70s
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Okay so this is all set in my jewish batman universe where Bruce is also raised by the Kanes and is a practicing jew. He's still batman of course, but has a better support system than just Alfred (although if I remember correctly, originally Alfred joined the batfam after Dick, but in this verse Alfred is here from the beginning). Ezra is mizrahi jewish from his mother and ashkenazi from his father. Ezra's father died when he was young after they moved to Gotham, also murdered. Ezra and Bruce met at temple as teenagers a little before Bruce went off to boarding school. They hit it off and were good friends, but lost contact after Bruce went on his batman training montage. Its when Bruce returns and they hold a gala celebrating him that he meets Ezra again. They start up a romance, but since it's still pretty rocky to be gay in public at this time they keep it a secret. Ezra isn't out to his family either, and Bruce also doesn't really say anything to his family. Ezra's maternal family is all like John Constantine with their abilities within the occult and are consultants basically. Ezra has already joined the family business, which is an open secret within the jewish community within Gotham. I like to think that a lot of bubbled of jewish people know about the occult stuff that happens within the dc universe before it starts to become public knowledge. So Bruce already knew and found out more after he returned with his Batman paranoia. Ezra then finds out about the Batman stuff after Bruce needs his help on a case, so they work together when their cases overlap. Then Dick joins Bruce's family and him and Ezra get along like a house on fire, but Dick is obviously still the angry Robin due to the death of his family and mishandling of his parents case and the fact that he was in juvie for no reason other than the fact that they had no room for him in an orphanage before getting taken in by Bruce. Eventually after Dick has been with Bruce for a year, and Bruce and Ezra have been together for awhile now (multiple years, but it was never agreed explicitly that they were exclusive, but It was sort of implied, but they never called each other boyfriends and though they never saw anyone else). I need to figure out the years still, but Bruce then proposes to Ezra since he's rich and they can get married anywhere, but Ezra rejects him (for many reasons, but mostly because he's scared). He blows up a bit at Bruce and then leaves Gotham entirely. Bruce is devastated (but also he never asked if that's where they were going anyways, they have never talked about their relationship, so also on him for not communicating even if Ezra definitely would have wanted this if he wasn't so scared though). Years go by, Dick doesn't know why Ezra and Bruce weren't together anymore (he knew since he walked in on them kissing once and was talked to by Bruce), but thinks Bruce was the one at fault. but one day after the Justice League has been running for years at this point, Ezra is brought on a case by John Constanine, and it's obvious that Batman and Nightwing know him (Nightwing never told his siblings about Ezra and I don't think most of them know Bruce is bi) since Nightwing basically jumps him with a hug. There is tension, but Ezra and Bruce talk during the mission at one point when they are alone with Ezra telling him that he misses Bruce and that he would like to try again, and Bruce apologizes to Ezra for not talking to him ahead of time. (also Kate is Batwoman at this point and has come out to their family and gay marriage is legalized at this point) They agree to try again as friends since Ezra is returning home.
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Hi Eli
It’s not a success story but I just needed to to get this out of my system (and pls I’m not trauma dumping on you 🥲)
So I know bout the law and I do believe in it, I’ve manifested a lot of things actually from big to small but the problem comes when I want to manifest my dream life, the life I believe I was meant to live..
Every time I tried to brush it off and pretend like ooh it’s too unattainable and I can’t be there and stuff like that I always come back to somehow ,so that’s why I believe I was meant to live it.
I’m raised in a religious family (not too religious but kinda,not the crazy ones) Islamic teaching u know?. So every time I affirm I’m living my dream life,I’m limitless and I have everything I want because I say so,I feel good and stuff but… when I go on TikTok or any social media and then the teachings comes,I feel so guilty and like a sinner and all the giddiness ends and I feel so down.
Listen I love my religion,but it makes me sad when I think about what if I’m actually sinning and god is going to be mad at me,because we don’t have power of our own but god’s will.
I do really want to manifest my dream life,and when I think about it even more I say maybe god doesn’t want me have this life, many I’m meant for something else but I don’t see anything else,I just see that life(the life I’m talking about is high life,lights,cameras,paparazzi everywhere,yk!)
But then I think if I wasn’t meant for it why have I always had this feel ever since I was a kid? And why did I find about the law?
I’m really in dilemma, I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so guilty 😭
P.s I don’t even bit think that my dream life is unattainable,it’s just the guilty I feel every time I think about, gif is watching me and he’s judging me for this, maybe I should quit and quickly live my normal boring hella of peasant life “ I think”but I can’t, something inside me refuses to settle for this😭
I would kindly appreciate your advice cos ur the only Muslim loas blogger I know, love you
Hope it’s not too much🥹
Xoxo 💋
Hello cutie!
Well i'm here to tell you that i've been in the same situation as you, but i had a long thought about it.
Let's think for a second: do you think god let us discover this for a reason? And you only? If you're about to tell it to your siblings or your parents i know that they'll refuse or doesn't even believe you or go in a rampage of how it is sinning and you don't have to believe what the internet is saying.
Okay i'm about to tell you my story:
When the lockdown of COVID happened (i was 12 at that time), i came across a subliminal called "get green eyes in 10 minutes" so i was like "no freaking way! That total bs! They're just lying" so i went to watch other videos on YouTube and completely forgot about it, but for the next few days, the video kept popping up so what i did is check the comments and see if this video is telling the truth or not, so when i went to check the comments i found people be like "oh yeah my eyes got brighter after few days of listening" etc (you know the drill).
If you want to be so sure that what you're doing is right and not sinsful just pray and ask god to give you a sign that manifesting your dream life is good (halal) or bad.
And look even if it wasn't good why did god made us consciousness? To be able to induce our purest form and even shift to other realities? And even manifest the craziest things.
And there was this question in my head "why god didn't mention it in Quran?" But i made the theory that maybe he didn't want to because he knows that some people no, the majority of them would use it for bad, would like to dominate the World and even do harm than good or even don't believe in god anymore since they'll discover that they're powerful and can do incredible things.
You know? I Always had this feeling since i was kid that i was special, and i think that why god choose me to know it, to know this treasure that is hidden from anyone else, the ultimate cheat code to life.
So yeah don't feel alone, i understand how you feel, but like now, knowing the Law is like a bless from god, it's like a gift.
Many people would kill to know this information, to know the cheat code to life.
So my advice is to not give up or think it is a sinner to manifest your dream life.
God made you discover it for a reason, and he knows why.
So go crazy! Manifest any desires your heart want! Even the most unrealistic ones!
I Hope my response pleased you and motivated you!
Xoxo, Eli
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loa blog#loa#law of manifestation#how to manifest#loassumption#void state#asks#anon ask#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#4d reality
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Keeper of Earth
this is a gift for @riseandfallofsecunit because they drew my OCs (look at them!!!), written about someone in my OC world getting some Elemental magic (explanation of magic system here. i think that's all the context you need)
1.1k words, no CWs (let me know if i missed anything!)
this is my first time posting something set in this world - I'd love to post more if people are interested :)
🌱⚡🌊🔥☀️🌑 | 🌑☀️🔥🌊⚡🌱
You've been guarding the Vessel of Earth for a number of years now.
It's not as cool as you'd originally thought.
Not the Vessel. That thing — a circlet of vines that bloom with gemstones rather than flowers — is extremely cool.
Guarding it is what's boring.
Oh, you know it's an important job. You take the responsibility very seriously. You just thought it'd be more… exciting?
Nevertheless, you do what the Keepers’ Guild asked of you: check on the Vessel and update its History each day, stay mostly isolated, move around often, and grow a garden wherever you live.
The garden doesn't need to be anything special, they'd told you. Just something that shows the Element that you care. So you plant whatever's in season, wherever you happen to be. Currently, it's tomatoes and bell peppers, plus various herbs and flowers.
You're kneeling in the garden now, gently untangling weeds from the soil to be transplanted away from your vegetables. One annoying thing about keeping the core of all nature magic in your toolshed: it feeds all life. It doesn't make growing a garden any less work.
The small toolshed sits nearby to the garden. You've gotten better at not glancing at it every three seconds just to make sure it's still locked, though you learned quickly that the vines growing on the walls and roof need to be checked on and pruned frequently, or else they'll slowly dismantle the shed in their hunt for the magic they can sense within.
It also attracts animals, which you'd been warned about, but not prepared for emotionally. One day, you'd walked outside to see a large wildcat napping by the shed, and you'd made a strangled gasp-scream that had woken the cat. It had stirred, looked at you, then gone back to sleep.
Okay, so it was kind of a cool job.
(Still not very exciting, though. Not in the ways you'd hoped.)
You gather your tools and the small bundle of uprooted plants, and move to the second garden plot, the one where you put the weeds. Many of them are hardy enough that you just sprinkle them across the ground. A few of them, you take the time to re-plant.
Very early on, you learned that the Element of Earth doesn't appreciate needless death. It encourages the natural cycle of things, of life, death, decay, and rebirth, but the weeds in your garden have as much right to live as the vegetables you plant. So you simply relocate them, to show the Element that you care. (And so they don't strangle your basil.)
Standing up again, you wipe your hands on your pants — you gave up on keeping them free of dirt stains a long time ago — and move towards the shed to put away your tools.
When you unlock and open the door, the gentle multicolored glow of the Vessel’s gemstones spills out. You block as much of it as you can with your body and quickly shut the door behind you, even though you know there's no one around. Call it paranoia, but old habits die hard.
As you hang up your tools (yes, the shed houses incredibly powerful magic, but it's still a toolshed), you notice that the light seems greener than usual. You look closer at the Vessel. It hangs on a nail like a celebratory wreath, about the size of a woven flower crown. One of the smaller precious stones, the one that's usually colorless and crystalline, is now a deep, bright green.
Carefully (always carefully, though the Vessel has never harmed you), you reach up to touch the green stone — but before you do, it falls off the vine and into your palm.
You flinch and gasp and close your fist around it. In all the years you've guarded the Vessel, through all the places you've lived, this has never happened before.
You open your hand slowly. The bright green glow is pulsing now. Starting to panic, you think back to what the Guild told you — was there anything about the stones falling out? Have you been doing something wrong this whole time? Oh, stars and smoke, did you somehow manage to break the Vessel?
Trembling, you reach with your free hand to touch the other gemstones, even going so far as to gingerly wiggle one like you would a loose tooth, but they all seem as secure as they've ever been. You try to remember the History, if any previous guardian recorded something similar to this.
You're staring into the gemstone, flashing greener and brighter and faster, when you realize you're spiraling. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, then another, letting out the tension in your body with each exhale. Freaking out won't help anything, as you're well aware, so you try to let go of the panic, then open your eyes to try again.
The gem’s light still pulses on your palm, but you realize something — it's pulsing to the beat of your heart.
Huh.
Well, it is nature magic, and you're definitely part of nature. Is it trying to tell you something?
You take several more deep breaths, feeling your heartbeat slow, and watching as the gem's flashes slow to match.
Panic fades, replaced by curiosity. You try to project that feeling out, unsure of what to do but ready to receive what the Element wants to give.
As soon as that thought crosses your mind, the gem glows brighter, and brighter, still matching your heartbeat — then disappears.
You have a split second to be confused — until you feel something blooming in your heart, your limbs, your mind. For a moment, you're acutely aware of the world around you: the fungi in the shed, the vines surrounding it, the beetles under the grass and the bedrock far below. Most of all, the Vessel, still glowing softly, now missing a gemstone. You've always known the whole world is alive (how could it not be?), but it's more than that. It's gloriously bright, it's overflowing with energy. With all this life around you, it's no wonder the Vessel glows.
Slowly, gently, the awareness fades, but you still feel awash with the beautiful warmth of your Element.
… your Element?
You open your eyes (you aren't sure when you closed them). The dim toolshed looks the same, but you feel different. You look at the Vessel again — note the missing gem, the mild glow, the hardy vines. You reach up, touch the empty socket, and realization blossoms.
The Vessel of Earth has gifted you magic.
It's not your Element, really. It doesn't belong to you (nor does it belong to anyone), but you are a part of it, now.
You realize you're leaning against the wall for support. There's a new, tiny crystal already growing in the Vessel's empty spot. You look down at yourself. You look no different from before, but inside…
Well. Your wish for more excitement seems to have come true.
#i hope you like it grey!!!!! i know i didn't HAVE to do anything for you in return. but i wanted to :)#i think of this character as Bel btw. and the Earth power they got? who knows!!#i have a couple ideas lol but i wanted to leave it to the imagination#also. i hope this piece makes sense HFJJSJFHDJ#rowan writes#changelings#grey🩶💜
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Ekko deflates. "Okay, yeah, I see your point. I'll try to get out more, I promise, and not just for work. I'll get Isha to help me with a timer system for my workshop or something. That'll be a good project for her..." He trails off almost absentmindedly, as if the last part had been more to himself than to Scar. His second is right, as usual. He just felt like he needed to be doing something, always, to make up for the damage everyone else had suffered.
Maybe he should talk to someone about that.
He lies back on the floor, arms splayed out, careful not to hit The Girl™. She was free to use his body as a jungle gym, if she felt like it. "I'm just– I'm trying so hard to believe she's not dead. Caitlyn says there's a chance, and she was hopped on Shimmer from whatever Silco's doctor did to her–" he cuts himself off with a weak laugh. "I don't even know if I should miss her. We didn't get to sort all our shit out." He blows out a long breath. "Sorry, it's... sorry."
Ekko pushes his chair away from his desk, sighing in frustration. Taking a glance out his window, he winces. The shadows outside are longer than he thought they'd be—he's been fighting with his project for hours.
...Maybe it's time to take a break and visit Scar, like he'd promised.
A couple minutes later, he's dismounting his hoverboard in front of Scar's door. He knocks twice. "Hey big man, you home?"
[Scar answers the door quickly— He knew Ekko was coming, he could hear someone from inside the house… ‘big ears’ and all.]
"Mhm… Come inside?" [Scar offered, gesturing for Ekko to follow in. The house was untidy, but not a complete wreck. The Girl™ crawling around in a soft play pen in the living room.]
"Is this work related or… do I get ‘Ekko’ and not ‘Leader of the Firelights’ for today?" [Scar joked dryly. He had a sense of humour drier than the Sahara sometimes.]
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i love your fics and the ideas you describe for the ask games. i'm especially fond of your takes on the rarer pairings and i always smile when i see your posts in the ship tags <3
and don't stress too much about not posting anything, real life is important and participating in fandom should be fun, not something you have to force yourself to do. god knows fandom burnout is real, especially if you feel like people are expecting something from you. just keep doing what makes you happy :)
ghgfhgjhkjhjhg this was so sweet, thank you so much! i *love* talking about rarer rarepairs, especially if it gets other people to ship them too. the popular ships are fun and all, but i truly love spreading rarepair propaganda.
that's very reassuring, thank you <3 i've loved everything i posted here so far and have not felt pushed to post anything i haven't enjoyed, but sometimes i forget i can like. use this blog for whatever i want and not *just* headcanons/fics/mets/etc lol. and i also forget i don't have to rush myself. it's annoying to want to write and either not have time or not have the words work. i used to run a fandom blog in my teens that got very large and felt like a chore and i was so stressed about the need to perform and the numbers and all of that. like if a fic didn't do well i saw it as a personal failing and forced myself to write popular headcanons just for the numbers game. was not fun or sustainable in the long run and i think it contributed to me no longer having any taste for the ship i primarily wrote for. so for too long i treated existing in fandom like a job lol. i've mostly gotten it through to myself that this is a space for me, but i occasionally forget when i'm so caught up in all the things i want to get to for this blog. my to-write list is a mile long and i need to be bonked with a paper towel roll, i think. so it's very kind of you to say this bc the reminder is nice <3
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#this was *so* sweet anon wtf#i'm not naming the blog i used to run#yes it still exists#and it's not hard to find if you really hunt my digital footprint tbh. i don't hide my main blog#both this blog and that blog are mentioned on my main so you could find it if you looked i'm not hiding it just also not advertising it#at my height i had about 4k followers over there#which in tumblr numbers for the ship i was writing felt like a lot to 15 yr old me#overall enjoyed it but *man*. it did get rough trying to game the system#bc generally even now when i'm writing a fic i *know* how it's going to preform#i've been surprised a couple times but typically#the combining factors of the ship's popularity and the concept's appeal to popular headcanon make it easy for me to parse out#and tbh it doesn't bother me anymore. like i know if i write say timcass or jeantim#it will not preform like jaytim will#and i'm okay with that#i write timcass bc *i* want to write timcass#so yk. i'm having fun#i just forget i can be more “low effort” on the blog too#esp bc i gained followers far quicker than i expected#i've had this blog for barely two months and i almost have 200 followers#made me shooketh i tell you.#i expected this to be yelling into some kind of void.#i wanna do something to celebrate hitting 200 but i'm unsure what#maybe i'll save it for 250 idk#anywhore.#ty anon i'm going to staple this ask to my forehead <3
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball��#sorry for the personal post
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#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags#cw personal#once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says#THEY don't#they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government??????????????#so there's still some kind of payment???#anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated#like will she take my insurance or not who's right here#anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now#why the hell is this so hard man#the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain#once again no one knows what they're talking about#like can y'all not communicate and figure this out?#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds#and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover#*contracted#not retyping all of that#and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim#and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart#and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that>#UGH#like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles#the bureaucracy is INSANE#i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second#and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on'#uGH#literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times#like not on the phone after I hung up obvs
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"An awkward gesture" like yeah. And that group of guys who gathered around in Portland ME in full Nazi paraphernalia on April 1st that one year were just joking. Right.
#bro. sorry WELL I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD EVEN SAY SORRY?????? but i am gonna bitch for a second#like that shit was so jarring (second example i provided) bc not to dox myself but that's like. home.#vaguely not specifically speaking. but that is home.#i don't even remember what happened/what was done about it other than like. seeing an article or two about it#but literally this is just part of the nazi playbook. it's just a joke. or a mistake. or an accident. not that serious. ect ect ect#bonus points if like well they're a really nice person. yeah. i bet they are To You.#and hell less me being a bitch about it even if they put on a nice face towards the people they want dead#like bitch. i was raised christian. i know a thing or two or one hundred thousand about The Duality of it.#conscious or subconsciously. i know first hand what it looks like to be loved and abhorred at the same time.#and this is a loose comparison maybe. but what i'm SAYING here is That's How They Get You.#also fuck man the more i think about that 'stunt' (idk if i even wanna call it that but for lack of a better term)#like. the stupider it fucking is. like yeah a joke. a prank. okay. and you just had all that shit laying around because.......???????#idk it's so jarring. esp when it's close to home#but it's also so fucking jarring and terrifying to see it play out Like This. not some fuckasses in fucking maine#but someone with a disgusting amount of power. in front of the entire world. TO the entire world#god i'm getting flashbacks to that one guy who in front of a whole ass crowd (some preacher? politician?#idk sometimes the venn diagram is a circle. i don't fucking care to find out) said some shit about#eradicating transgender people from public life completely. to like a LOUD fucking applause#like it's sickening and exhausting and god i'm privileged. technically speaking. i'm white#and am taken care of by family so i don't have to work (when like. idk if i can. as time goes on i really feel like i can't.)#like. i'm acknowledging that all things considered i'm probably going to be safe. in all likelihood.#but it's disgusting and horrifying and like. maybe i'm safe. relatively. but so many people are not and will not be.#like idk it's just looking really fucking bleak. and that's coming from the shut-in.#i feel like i could say so much about that too. how i exclusively live through my art and art alone.#is it maladaptive daydreaming if the conditions are inherently hostile to life itself?#again i feel like i'm lucky that i'm able to opt out. but i also feel like. i feel like these shouldn't be my only options.#i don't know. i just wish we had more political assassinations. it wouldn't fix the system.#but it would fix the issue of one really stupid and genuinely evil guy. this goes for many of them
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I get alone with my thoughts for one second and then my brain goes to the VN love interest route I beat yesterday and I go, "jesus fucking christ what the fuck."
#ramblings#it's honestly funny at how shocking it was to me??? i just did not see that happening#i legitimately said out loud as i was playing it and he was having a rough time that he should kill himself to forever change the directory#of people's lives. and then i moved on because OF COURSE that wasn't going to happen. it was funny to me but the game wouldn't do that#but then he had a mental breakdown and kidnapped someone and tried to kill himself and I??????????????? I still cannot process it? what the#spoilers for an otome game route i guess#not giving any details in case you don't wanna know but i have to say#WHAT THE HELL the fuck what? hello? get therapy? hello? how did that lead to a good end where nothing else was confronted? hello? are you o#li: i'll kill myself if you don't love me. mc: +10000 affection#GIRL STOP you both need to go to therapy what the fuck LMAOOOO what did I play and why did it go that way with no warning??? or maybe i was#warned but i automatically told myself no way i was reading too much into it and they'd never BUT THEY DID WHAT WHAT HELLO WHAT??#my friends got me screaming through out the entire thing in group chat#the change from LMAO he should he deserves to fuck up people's lives to Hahah. Ha? He is??? LMAO??? WHAT HELLO?#i think it was extra jarring because the other love interests pissed me off at least once very bad on their routes but this guy cried early#on and opened up and i was like huh. vulnerability. i like that. and he kept on not making me mad and i was like good for him i hope he wor#s through his issues. the same with the mc. BUT THEY DIDN'T. THEY JUST HAVE THIS VERY UNHEALTHY CODEPENDENCY THAT I THOUGHT THE MC WAS WORK#ON FIXING BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO ARGH AAAAAAAHHHH LMAO WHAT THE FUCK#the true route i unlocked fixed some things but they're all still fucked up. i guess they're my blorbo friends now#okay i need this to get out of my system send help
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odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets
#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually#we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive#i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth#like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system#so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier#like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON#and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time#we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton#it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes#like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks#but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier#we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it#and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking#side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it#like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great#i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully#and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot#also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao
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yknow its a good thing i dont have any plans today so i can be on call
but at the same time i have no fucking plans and cant afford to get too distracted ive only been up like 30 minutes and im already gonna lose my mind i think
#sending my prayers to the prophet please be safe please be okay please text me so i know how youre doing#am i blowing this out of proportion maybe maybe not#kinda feel like this was my fault for bringing it up but i know it was gonna reach a head eventually anyway#//i know nobody ic has context for this it probably looks like it came way outta left field when they were at least pretending to be chill#//just last night. they're still gonna pretend to be chill they just need to get this out of their system#//eight had to go to work early :pensive:#//still don't know what exactly she does for work. i'll figure it out.#ic
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