#He'd also feel bad about the other generals dying but he'd get over them all too

[yeonban]

Soma is so interesting in the sense that... he's so tender and so indifferent at the same time. Out of the five grand generals he cares the least about Musashi and whether he lives or dies EVEN AFTER Musashi proves he's the Obsidian Goddess and Jisai's son (whereas Tatsuomi and Tsubasa, the other two coldest ones, both became close to Musashi bc of it) but he's also the one who'd be the most emotionally hurt if someone close to him were to get injured or killed (whereas Naotora saw Tatsuomi's blood pouring down a wall and heard he got killed but had no change in expression)

[zukosdualdao]

the moon will sing a song for me (i loved you like the sun)

zutara month, day seven: divine intervention, @zutaramonth.

summary: when zuko takes the lightning aimed for katara, it takes a little more than her usual healing to get him back from the brink. feat. yue's words of encouragement and empowering influence on katara, medically necessary bloodbending, and a zuko who is too out of it to understand much of what is going on, but that's okay. katara has him.

content warnings: general references to violence and wounds, nothing more explicit than the show.

notes: title is from "the moon will sing" by the crane wives. yes i do too many lyric titles. no i will not stop <3. idk when sozin's comet officially ended but for fic purposes we are imagining the timing makes sense for the moon to be out after the agni kai. two pieces of dialogue were taken from the show.

Zuko groans as he's being turned over. His bones feel like liquid, his skin set alight, his heart like a crater in his chest.

Katara, he thinks, he tries to say, he doesn't know.

Katara looks at him with a worried expression, her lips turned in a frown, her eyes wide with fear and sadness as she presses a watery hand to his crumpled, prone form.

She is worried but alive. She is alive, and if she is here, then she must have defeated Azula.

Katara is alive. That is what counts. This was his destiny, then. To save her.

It wasn't a bad note to end on.

Zuko closes his eyes. There's a hammering thud in his chest. He is so tired. Normally, he'd associate the feel of it with exertion, or else desperation, and he would feel frantic. But he is so tired. He has been so tired.

"No," he thinks he hears Katara say. It sounds like she's underwater, or perhaps he is. "No, Zuko, don't you dare."

He struggles to open his eyes again because he doesn't want her to sound so angry with him and doesn't want her to be sad. It only feels like a moment has passed, or maybe it has been hours.

She is looking up. Pale, yellow light shadows her.

Katara is speaking with the moon.

The moon is also a girl.

Someone told him a story like that once.

A spirit, he thinks a little redundantly, with white tresses of hair and a glowy form and a gentle smile. The moon spirit?

Zuko jerks, a spasm of his body as he lights up again with the pain, and Katara looks back to him, alarmed.

"—but you know another way," the moon-girl insists softly to Katara, whom Zuko looks at as her mouth sets in a thin, determined line. Unless he's imagining it all, which is possible. "And I am here with you now."

After a moment's hesitation, Katara nods and sets her left, water-encased hand against his chest again and raises her other in a motion he faintly recognizes.

"This is going to hurt," she says warningly, sadly. "But it will help. I think. It has to." She shakes her head, torn.

Zuko doesn't know what's going on, but if Katara says it will help, that's all that really matters.

"I trust you," he slurs. Is that him? Does he sound like that?

Katara blinks. Zuko watches tears slip from her cheeks.

And then, it starts. She did not lie about it hurting. Despite himself, Zuko feels his body rising from the ground in pain and panic, and Katara has to keep him pressed down. His blood is boiling, his chest swelling. This must be what dying feels like. But then, he's pretty sure he was dying before. He supposes it's a process.

"—sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry—" Zuko makes out the words, faint in his ears, though Katara sobs them out.

Eventually, though, the beat of his heart evens. His blood begins to simmer down. The pain melts.

He watches as Katara pulls back, resting on her knees. The moon-girl smiles down on them before fading back into being just the moon, high in their war-torn sky again.

Nothing that just happened makes any sense, Zuko decides dazedly. But it was Katara who saved him, and that made all the sense in the world.

"Thank you, Katara," he rasps, looking up at her through heavy eyes. Looking at her made everything in the world seem alright again.

She looks down at him with a soft expression and a watery smile.

"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you."

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, semifinals of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

For Legolas and Gimli:

They literally have a running competition between the two over who has more kills. And non-canon my ass, Legolas took Gimli to valinor

They kill alot of orcs together. They make it into a competition. Better minds than i have spoken about the couple ness

[mikodrawnnarratives]

I'm soooo interested in the possibilities for Post Loops Siffrin since theres a ton to explore in how they and his family deal with the aftermath of All That

First off, bumps in the road to getting healthier since progress isn't linear. Siffrin trying but sometimes failing to keep in mind the lessons he learned.

Having so many loops doing the same thing over and over, I love the idea of him sometimes falling back into habits of making a script for themself to follow daily when things get too samey. Like certain times of the day go by so similarly that they zone out from time to time, even unintentionally

It would take his family members to realize when he falls into habits like these, and taking efforts to minimize their ability to do that without reminders. Like, small things like making sure to change things up everyday in a certain amount so following a Script isn't as simple to categorize things happening around him as You've Seen This Before

I really hope Siffrin starts journaling at some point Post Loops cuz honestly, if they don't got a therapist (i don't even know how any therapist could tackle that enbie's issues) and they don't talk about the things that happened in the loops, I'd hope they at least have one way to get it out in a healthy manner. I'd imagine they wouldn't want to forget more of the loops, even tho they were traumatic, seeing as Forgetting is so distressing to em. I also can't imagine anyone would be okay with forgetting that kind of experience after it consumes so much of ur life.

And I also like to think about how Siffrin handles not dying so frequently. Like, them using the dagger after a certain point feels good to them, they've gotten used to it. Imagine how chilling that must be to deal with as he recovers. Going between "oh i miss that relief" to "why do i miss that relief oh stars i don't want to leave my family :((" and on some bad days im sure he'd struggle with suicidal ideation, and those issues probably would make any self harming habits just. ohh so much worse given they might turn to that for relief if their family members don't keep good enough eye on their access to sharp objects when vulnerable. Now that i think about it, it would be really endearing to see their family helping them find alternatives, like drawing on themself or rubberband methods, whenever possible

How his family approaches it in general is also has a lot of goodies in terms of possibilities. I really like fics when Siff is really nervous to accept help but still gets it in the end. Like he struggles but in the end his family is still there. oohh I especially love Odile and Siff fics they are so endearing to me

I need to find more fics that focus on Siff when he's dealing with other factors of not being in the loops anymore too! Like changing out of his clothes he's had to have for xyz amount of loops! Dealing with food, anything from struggling with bananas and not liking his favorite food anymore to remembering how much he STARVED during the loops and getting underlying worry about it happening again. They still eat their food quickly, even if they feel content. Having irrational worries about "what if it happens again and i don't have enough food what if I starve again"

Hopefully this would be something he could talk about with his family and it would be SO quickly followed up by Bonnie exclaiming that they'll cook all the food they want for him if that happens. Never going hungry again on their watch! And if Siff gets any hoarding issues in this scenario, ✨snack cabinets!✨

oohh def snack cabinets or in general stashes would be so sweet, ones that they can access at any point. Their family does their best to keep it stocked to ease their worries

And there are a ton of other scenarios that would address how the loops fucked him up, followed by family members finding out + helping

I also need to find more fics where they are just cuddling too. Cuddles, helping Sick Siff, stuff where Siff is shy to accept help but god the others will make SURE he rests accordingly!

[sarucane]

Did Ed really want to die?

In a juicy spiral of nuanced psychological storytelling, I think the answer to this question is both yes and no, and so actually a it's a third answer:Ed wanted dying and living at the same time.

When Ed tells Lucius a song that goes "fingers bleeding, down to the bone now...hold on, hold on, hold on," Lucius recognizes it as a hell of a bad mental state. Lucius suggests Ed let go, and Ed says that'd be death.

Lucius then offers a third possibility: that dying won't be a death.

So Ed tries to throw himself into that. And when he actually sings, his song is the opposite of the one from before.

The stories we choose to tell reveal things about us. At the beginning of S1, Stede told a story about a wooden puppet becoming a real boy, pointing to his desire to "really live." At the end of the season, Ed's inner contradictory desires move from subtext to text through his amateur songwriting. He wants to hang on, he wants to let go and can't make himself, and "life's a hard sad death."

And then this all gets further mucked up when Izzy comes in and threatens "Edward," (who could get reborn) and says only "Blackbeard" gets to live. Ed releases his silk and throws Lucius over the side: the third options Stede and Lucius have made him drram of are out of reach.

Except then, when Ed embraces Blackbeard, he's embracing death: he paints himself up to look like a fucking ghoul.

Wanting to live and wanting to die are basically the same thing for Ed now. He's got no lighthouse to steer away from or toward (and a lighthouse is after all another double symbol, something to guide and something to avoid).

And finally we get Ed's story in S2E1, about a bird that "can't actually exist." Ed wants to live, and he wants to die, and he wants to be a bird that spends its life in the air, that exists outside of the struggles of life and death, that just keeps flying without any differentiation between where it came from and where it's going. But the bird is also a version of that third option, to live and die at the same time: It's alive and it's dead, its whole existence is in the sky and therefore it never really lives, never stops, never feels or hurts. It's everything and nothing at the same time, suspended.

And even when Ed makes a decision that should end the conflict between wanting both life and death--decides at the start of E2 that he's going to die today--he doesn't go at it directly. He tries to get Izzy to do it; he provokes the crew to mutiny, leaving repeated openings to be stopped while also plowing forward. Until, finally, the decision is taken out of his hands.

The result of all this is internal conflict manifests externally and drives the plot at the start of S2. The conflict is seeded from the beginning, as Ed reigns over violence while barely participating, moons over Stede and threatens Izzy.

And from the moment Izzy confronts Ed, knocks him out of his state of "flying," Ed does things that contradict each other. He asks the crew if "the vibe is poisonous" while pointing a gun at them. He points a gun at his own head and asks if the vibe is poisonous, then tells the truth, to general confusion. He says he doesn't feel crazy while doing something clearly crazy. He shoots Izzy, then tells Frenchie to kill him. If Ed wanted Izzy dead, he'd have chosen someone else. Frenchie isn't the type to slit a throat in cold blood, and Ed's not a moron. There was no way that was going to happen.

Or so he thinks, because then he's in the gravy basket. Hornigold represents his unconscious, his desire to both live and die: First, Hornigold saves him. Drags him off the beach and forces him to eat, to keep living. But then Hornigold drives him to despair, brings up the core crises of guilt, loss, fear, and insecurity (his dad's murder, Stede leaving) that pushed Ed down the path that led him here. And in the end, Hornigold speaks Ed's insecurities back to him. That he's unlovable, and that he's scared to do the only thing to do about it: kill himself. So he brought Hornigold to do it for him.

And then Ed's living and dying at the same time, again. He's struggling against the rope, and he is the rope hauling himself down.

Everyone needs help, sometimes.

Ed sees Stede as a merman, "Something that can't actually exist." But something Ed hadn't expected. Down here, in his darkness and unconscious, a light. And then the pros outweigh the cons by quite a lot, and he doesn't even notice when the desire for death fades away.

He isn't a bird that never touches ground: he's on the ground, he's under the water. But he is something that he thought maybe couldn't exist. A version of himself that can change.

Ed gets what he really wanted. He dies, and he lives.

[dalekofchaos]

Stuff like this is why I don't think the inhibitor chips were necessary.

Why make up bullshit chips that turn Clones into cartoonish "good soldiers follow orders" when Clones just naturally hating the Jedi for being incompetent generals getting their brothers in arms killed and then said brothers dying for traitors, but the real tragedy of it all is that it was all for a lie.

Order 66 was just an emergency order like the others one. For example Order 65 declared that the Chancellor is no longer able to rule the republic, therefore he has to be removed from office, if necessary with lethal force. If the jedi could have convinced the senate, that Palpatine was a sith who orchestrated the clone wars and the senate would vote for the Order 65, Palpatine would be attacked by clone troopers instead of the jedi.

These Orders were also no secret, they were written down and the clones trained these orders on Kamino a thousand times. The jedi just forgot, that the clones were fighting for the republic and not for them, and when the supreme commander of the army, in this case Palpatine because of his emergency powers, orders them to kill their field commanders, they would do so, without question, just like the kaminoans said.

In my opinion this makes a whole lot of great stories impossible like the relationship between Darman Skirata and Etain. Also it would make way more sense when Lucasfilm wants to show more survivors of Order 66, because the only clones in canon who didn't follow the order were the Bad Batch, Rex and Gregor. In Legends many clones just didn't follow the order because of their moral compass or thought it's a trap of the separatists and we could see how the clones deal with their decision to kill the jedi, in Legends some of them developed PTSD and other thought it was necessary.

In my opinion they just took a whole lot away of the personality and individuality of the clones with the inhibitor chips and turned them into mindless killer machines and I don't like that, especially after we see in the clone wars series their personality for the first time and see that the clones are individuals even when they look exactly the same, something the movies failed to show us.

Imagine a plot line where, instead of a chip telling them to betray the Jedi, troopers like Cody got a message telling them the Jedi had betrayed the Republic and attempted to murder the Chancellor. That the Jedi were now considered enemies of the Republic and had to be exterminated before they could overthrow the democracy. Forced to choose between the Jedi generals and the Republic and Supreme Chancellor, the unquestionably loyal Clones support the Republic.

It could have added many complex layers. The Clones have to live with their decisions. Maybe some regret it and wish they'd decided otherwise. Others feel their hand was forced. Others that the Jedi were traitors and never doubted their choice for a second.

Or the conflict of Rex. What if he'd been among the 501st attacking the Jedi Temple with Anakin, but split from them at the end of his own free will? Rex, who was always loyal to Anakin, and a close friend, breaks from him and flees. How does he feel about it? Does he feel he did the right thing by betraying Anakin to save the Jedi? Or does he feel he abandoned his Commander and should have stayed loyal? Maybe he struggles with it every day, wondering if he made the right choice. Or imagine if Anakin came for Ahsoka and was about to kill her and Rex chose Ahsoka over Order 66 because he knew in his heart it was wrong and tossed a flash grenade and fled with Ahsoka.

Overall, I feel like the inhibitor chip arc made the story of Order 66 somewhat boring and too black and white. It could have been a fantastic jumping off point for the complexities of mixed loyalties, of following orders, of the failures of the Republic and of the Jedi, of how not only Palpatine's villainy but his charisma and personality led to rigid loyalty among the clones.

And honestly I feel like the inhibitor chips were created to weasel out of complex storytelling, just like JJ Abrams weaseled out of dealing with Finn's PTSD of being a child soldier.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

if we're talking about fob songs and sorry it's locked, may I suggest "American beauty/American Psycho"

specifically the lines

"I think I fell in love again, maybe I just took too much cough medicine"

"us we were pity sex, nothing more and nothing less"

and "all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep"

ooooooooooooo so trueeee, it works for so much of S,IL honestly, like there are some lines that work for Jay and Tim, some for Jay and Alex in uni, some for Jay and Alex during MH, like. Perfect

little lyric analysis thingy under the thingy bobber

"I think I fell in love again, Maybe I just took too much cough medicine" Like, this one feels like Jay and Tim, specifically how I first planned to write them getting together which was gonna take a lot longer, because Jay was basically gonna go the Alex route and refuse to believe he liked Tim (tho not because he didn't wanna be gay, just because he still felt really fucking hurt by everything that happened with Alex) like, he was gonna make all sorts of ridiculous excuses for ages about why he couldn't possibly like Tim in that way. And I did kinda keep that in a little bit in chapter 3 of S,IL i think, just not to the same extent as i had it in the original plan.

The idea of Jay blaming medicine for his feelings towards Tim could be so interesting though, especially with the whole thing about Tim sharing his meds with Jay after they ran into the Operator in entry 72 and Jay had his seizure. Like, idk it feels like the kinda straws Jay would grasp at (especially since he seems to resistant to getting professional help for anything) as another excuse he'd use to avoid going to the doctors to get medication of his own.

"I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet, The best worst thing" This line is definitely Jay and Alex in uni, it just is. They are both the best worst things that have happened to each other. Nearly all their problems stem from each other and their relationships over the years, whether that's platonic or sexual or whatever. And like, yeah Alex would probably have ended up getting tangled up with the Operator no matter what, but I do feel like everything would have been different (in S,IL as well as the canon) if he and Jay hadn't been as close as they were/known each other. because without Jay rediscovering the tapes Alex gave him, the MH youtube channel wouldn't have happened and Jay would most likely have just gone on with his life none the wiser, same with Tim. Brian would probably have been the only one still in at least a similar situation.

Also "best worst thing" is a weirdly nice descriptor, it scratches my brain a lot. And "best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet" is perfect for main series Jaylex because like, the best worst thing that will ever happen to Jay? Dying in Alex's arms (cos that's what i wanna happen in S,IL. I want Jay to die in Alex's arms with Alex crying and telling him he loves him)

"You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out" is just chapter 3 of If It Ain't Broken lol. Like, literally this is what happens in that Chapter (which i should be uploading tomorrow? Maybe tonight but most likely tomorrow). Jay talks to his friends and only really tells them half of the truth and keeps the rest for himself so that he doesn't look like a bad person. its great. he's such a little bastard man and I love him. "And as we're drifting off to sleep, All those dirty thoughts of me, They were never yours to keep" Just like Alex in general wasn't Jay's to keep, especially not after what I have planned for chapter 6 :DDDD but like, to me this feels like it just kinda ties in with all of the stuff Jay and Alex avoided. Like, they never fucked in a bed, Jay never slept over after they hooked up, Alex never used sweet pet names with Jay unless it's during aftercare where he can pass it off as 'just being a good dom' and not have to own his words etc. Like, idk why that lyric just feels like the same kinda thing as all those.

"Us, we were pity sex, nothing more and nothing less" is Alex downplaying everything that happened in chapter 1 of S,IL. Like, you now in chapter 2 where he tells Jay he only called him baby and stuff like that because he was pretending he was Amy? That. It's Alex pretending that them sleeping together again, in a bed this time, and Jay staying there overnight didn't mean anything when really they did. They meant a whole lot to him, but then he realised it had been a bad idea because it'd make Jay get attached to him again and make Jay even more dead set on finding out what's going on, so he had to scramble for something to drive Jay away all over again.

[sorryseraphim]

For a moment, her mind was miles away, imagining piles of bodies, hundreds of them around her. A few, she thought, will be made as an altar for her father, where her final resting place will be, as she offers her life as the final sacrifice—the grandest offering of them all.

“Helene, are you still with us?" 

In an instant, she was pulled back from reality. Looking at where the voice came from, her face soured, and her mood shifted from dreamy to disdain—Enver, looking at her, a smirk on his face as he waited for her reply. “I am. I'm just trying to envision the plan, that's all. Forgive me if I look disinterested in your discussion.”

"Perhaps you want to take the lead? I will be truly honored to have your ideas laid on this table.” 

Her ears rang from anger as she listened to him speak; he was clearly mocking her in front of everyone at the table. She clenched her jaw, swallowing harsh words she had been dying to spit into his face.

“I would love to, if only Banites knew how to appreciate a Bhaalist works. It's a shame, really, that they cannot comprehend how much glory and satisfaction one achieves after each offering.” 

She could have said what's really on her mind, but the tension across the table is already evident, a few of their nearest officers nervously glancing from one another. The look in Envers’ eyes only darkened as her words landed on him. Her lips curled into a composed smile, tilting her head a little. 

“Then please do enlighten us. I'm open to suggestions and other prepositions.”

"And let you lose face and composure in front of everyone at this table? I will let you be the center of this scheme, Gortash.”

She noticed how his jaw clenched briefly. It was an easy, instinctive nature for her to drive people mad through words; it's easier to target them when they're consumed by anger and make irrational decisions. She met his gaze with a smug, still smiling slyly, daring him to hit back.

“Well, if you insist. This most generous gift requires the best return gesture. Let's continue for now, but know, I'm already thinking of one.” He replied as he broke their meeting gaze. 

And they did carry on—reports of their respective cults' rising numbers laid out in front of them. Helene couldn't help but notice a few stolen glances Gortash threw at her. 

Her brows furrowed every time she caught his gaze. Focusing hard on the discussion, but now and then, her gaze would also fall on Enver. As her thoughts start getting impatient and threaten to spill, she quietly tries to detect his thoughts. 

Doing so is always a bad idea, but if she lets her irritation get the best of her, it'll be a mess that will derail this whole plan. With a quick flick of her fingers under the desk, she suddenly saw what was on Enver’s mind: Them on this very table, her bent down by the edge, her clothes ripped, Enver aggressively fucking her as he pulled her hair, her back bent, she can see him from behind. She felt her cheeks burn at the sight of his vivid imagination.

Enver continued to watch her. His expression was amused, intrigued even, as he let his mind show her his thoughts. He knew he had gotten under her icy facade, but he hadn't realized to what extent he had made her crack. His body seemed to radiate energy as he saw how her breath hitched at the idea of him on top of her. She was trying to keep control of her thoughts, but it was apparent she was starting to lose the battle. 

“I need to take a moment. Do carry on and fill me in once I'm back.” Composing herself, Helene left the room with long strides, almost tempted to shut the door as loud as she could. Enver felt a little smug about her sudden exit, and he let himself believe she was feeling exactly the way he'd intended her to. This is him settling the score as she tried to humiliate him earlier. 

She paced back and forth down the hallway, feeling a sudden urge to release the anger building up inside her. No, she thought, this feeling washing over her is entirely different. It's the strange feeling of desire.

She started laughing at the thought. Her, letting him fuck her that way? It's absurd! Degrading according to her standards. But what if the roles are reversed, her mind fought back. What if she was on top, grinding her waist, teasing him as she moved up and down his length, letting him feel the walls of her cunt, making him want more but leaving him unsatisfied to make him irritated. Mad. Just want she needs to kill Gortash without him expecting it. 

But what if it's true? The pleasure of sex is just as much pleasure as committing murder. She slapped herself as soon as the thoughts flooded her again. This is not how she plays this game of his. At once, she gathered her thoughts and braced herself as she returned to the room. 

As soon as she stepped in, he glanced at her and kept the same pleasant smirk on his face. He could see the flush to her cheeks and the subtle way she breathed faster from her little... break. 

Their eyes met, and he laughed, the sound coming out in a slightly mocking manner. "You seem a little out of breath," he said, his smile widening.

“I am fine, Gortash. I took a walk down the hall and back.”

Enver only gave her a knowing grin before he replied. "My my, so stoic and self-controlled! Surely there is nothing I have done to stir up your emotions?” 

“Are you done? Or do I need to cut your tongue from your mouth, and I can finish this plan of yours on my own?” He smiled softly at her response. This was a test of her self-control, and Gortash was very satisfied—for now.

"Yes, of course." He raised his voice to address the rest of the gathering. "We're planning," he said, nodding toward their allies and returning to his commanding tone. She kept a straight face the entire time, not meeting his gaze. She was tempted to drive her dagger down his eyes and feast on his flesh. 

If she could only do it, it’d be worth every instance he mocked her ever since the beginning of this partnership. 

Later that night, Helene found herself restless as she performed her duties at the temple. Despite trying to distract her mind from the strategic discussion earlier, it somehow finds its way back to her, making her more irritated than ever. 

After finishing up the rites for the dead and offering for the father, she went straight to her chambers, where she found a note delivered to her. She didn't know when it was delivered, but she immediately knew who it was from as soon as she picked it up. 

The cursive writing, smooth and neatly written on parchment, was from Gortash. 

“Lady Helene, we'd highly appreciate your continuous verbal participation during our strategic talks. It's also highly encouraged and would be considered polite to just ask if you need to know what one's mind is thinking. 

You'll never know what you find if you continue to poke inside someone's brain.

With high regards,

Enver Gortash”

All the anger she felt earlier reached its peak. In a fit of rage, she slammed her fist on the desk, empty vials bouncing and rolling down the floor. The audacity to continue to mock her was something she would not tolerate. And yet, that same feeling was starting to stir again, making her slap her face hard to shake her core. 

The image she captured from his head continued to torment her, how he locked her arms on her back, pushing his cock to her tenderness from behind, both visibly panting hard as their bodies became one. How she could see herself engulfed by pleasure made her shudder in disgust, but her body said otherwise; she could feel herself aroused by the thought, longing to feel it in reality. 

She picked up the letter and tore it to shreds, the pieces scattered on the floor. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself as she fixed her hair. He can't win, she thought. No way, she needed to plot her revenge. Once the plan was put to motion and the alliance was being solidified, she'd made Gortash believe it couldn't be bent, and when he least expected it, she would strike, and it'd be worth it and so sweet. 

—

“Where are you taking me? You know too many secluded places for a beautiful girl like you.” 

“We’re almost there. I know you are very excited.”

Leading a stranger inside the temple was already hard. It is harder to keep the illusion that they are walking in an unknown part of the city. One wrong move and the concentration breaks, this man will know the location of Bhaal’s temple. She hates to kill him before she even gets what she wants.

“Where are we even? Do you live here?”

“You ask too many questions.” 

It took everything in her to push her lips towards the man. Pushing her tongue in, she allowed him to slowly pull the strings of her dress she purposely chosen for tonight when she went out. This is not her usual self. Normally feared and respected by her subordinates for her reserved and strict nature, she peeled off such an attitude to satisfy this hunger she couldn’t discern. Just this once, she thought. 

Earlier that night and before all this, she went to the Elfsong Tavern to get a drink, sitting mindlessly, barely touching the ale she had ordered. She was deep in thought, formulating ways to get back at Gortash and his stupid letter. Several ideas are already populating her mind, eager to become a reality, when suddenly, a voice springs from her side. 

“You’re too pretty to be hanging around this lot.” 

She looked where the voice came from and almost jumped. For a second, she thought she was seeing Gortash. Blinking for a few moments, she felt relief. No, it’s not him, she thought. Although this man has the same build as him, the face is entirely different. And yet, the audacity felt so familiar that it boiled her blood with anger, reminding her again of his mockery earlier that day. 

And yet a smile curled into her face. This one will do, she thought. This one is perfect for my little trial and error. 

Thinking about how she had easily manipulated this man earlier made her feel victorious. Gortash is just a man, after all. Human, weak-minded, and easily deceived,  unlike her, made from divinity and Bhaal’s blood. Feeling his tongue inside her mouth disgusted her, especially as his hands started wandering up her thighs, lifting her dress all the way up until she was naked.

Not a hint of shame was visible on her face as the man laid her down on the cobblestone, hastily removing his trousers burying his lips into her neck. Why would she be afraid? She got him where she wanted him for her little experiment. In his eyes, they’re in someone’s backyard, lying on the grass as Helene would let him indulge in his carnal needs, but in reality, they are in front of her Father’s altar. He’d be the one she’d feast on later.

“You are so beautiful.” She heard him say, his eyes greedy and lustful. He’s already fucking me with his eyes, she thought. Dragging the act further, she bit her lip and crossed her legs, acting shy. Seemingly innocent from what he’s about to do. “Don’t be scared, I’ll be gentle. I’ll make it feel so good.” The man slowly inched towards her, parting her legs. She could see him almost salivating at the thought that she was a maiden and he’d be the first to take her. 

And as the man moved on top of her, he buried his cock deep inside her cunt immediately, greedily thrusting in and out of her. She bit her lip as a burning sensation filled her walls. She did not expect his length, although slender, to make her whimper for a bit. The man continued to prove relentless as he thrust within her, moaning. Sloppily kissing her neck, his hands wandered from her breasts down to her hips. 

“Heavens, you feel good.” It took everything inside her not to roll her eyes. Backhanded flattery, men would shower women with such words to make them feel good, she thought. Wondering how other people find this enjoyable, she pondered for a while how women would lay underneath men, letting them quench their thirst for some good fucking. Softly, she whispered, “Do you want me on top?” 

The man grinned at her. Quickly pulling out, he lay down and guided her on top of him. Holding her hips, she lined herself above his manhood and slowly sank herself. This is much better, she thought. Closing her eyes, slowly grinding, she felt her insides start to flutter. The man started moaning in return, his hands reaching out for her breasts, squeezing them with such intensity that it made her moan a little. 

Slowly, her vision blurred, imagining the man was Gortash. It does feel good. She was enjoying how much pleasure she received as she succumbed to the feeling. Looking down at him, she moved quicker, using her hands for support as she propped it above his chest. 

Helene stared at him for a while, her voice hitching at the thought of fucking Gortash filling her head. The idea of getting to know his body excites her unexpectedly; images of the vision he made visible earlier crept back to her head. How good can it be? His strong arms around her, pinning her down, forcing her to submission. Would he fight back as she tried to resist him and his charms? The thought drowned her, causing her to wet herself even further, soaking the man’s length as she moved up and down.

And yet, the thought of Gortash and his mockery washed over whatever desire was built in her head. The belittling, the constant reminder that she is just like him, Chosen by their God, made to work as equals.

I’m not like him; I’m more than him, she thought. 

Her hand began to inch towards the man’s neck, holding it gently. As she felt her walls start to clench, close to climax, so did her grip on his throat. She could hear him start to whimper, his hands grabbing her waist tightly. “Hey, it’s getting hard to breathe.” The man uttered as one of his hands started holding the one she used to hold his neck. 

Still, Helene didn’t stop moving as the man started trashing, his hands clawing desperately at her as her grip tightened. Finally, the illusion broke, the man's eyes widening as the entirety of the temple’s interior revealed itself. Looking back at Helene, he saw a wicked smile start to form. She leaned forward, brushing her lips to the man’s ears, whispering with malice and cruelty.

“Don’t be scared, I’ll be gentle.”

With a snap, the man lay lifeless underneath her. Sceleritas appeared next to her as if on cue, presenting her dagger with his bony hands. Without even bothering to dress herself up, Helene took the blade from his palms and started slashing, the man’s blood gushing from the numerous cuts she made, decorating the floor. The warmth of crimson against her skin made her grin, imagining the lifeless corpse was Gortash. 

With another graceful swing, she let her dagger slowly travel the man's chest, opening him up and exposing his insides, transforming her grin to a peal of sinister laughter. Ripping the man's heart out, she licked the dripping blood off her wrists, smiling afterward as she drowned from its taste, swirling inside her mouth.

“My lady, you may indulge yourself later, but the offering to your father must come first.” Sceleritas reminded her, the creature inching towards Helene as she devoured the man's heart out of her hands. She ignored him and crushed the organ with her teeth, crimson spilling all over her body as she pleased herself with its taste.

Yet a different feeling stirred inside her: Disappointment. The thought of him dead underneath her only had a short high, and then, it was gone, disappeared as soon as she finished eating the man's heart. It didn't even linger enough for her to revel in this successful trial; dismay seeped in immediately. In anger, she turned her attention towards the mangled body, ripping innards and scattering blood all over the floor.

In haste, Helene gathered everything she had harvested and dropped it inside the fire blazer. Frustration and rage-fueled the entire process of her offering. She uttered words of praise for her Father, which she knew by heart, and yet, her mind lingered on the thought of Gortash, who was lifeless and unmoving. 

There was something about his imminent death at her hands that bothered her. She can't immediately discern what it is, further driving her frustration. After her prayer, she marched down the altar, Sceleritas bowing for her as she grumbled and picked up her dress, drenched in blood, gore sticking at its hem. Eyeing the damage, she tossed it aside and proceeded to walk out of the offering circle.

“My lady, the perfect daughter of Bhaal, your offerings cannot be compared to anyone.” The goblin praised her as she walked past him.

“Don't pander, Sceleritas. I'm not in the mood to kill you again.” 

The creature bowed down even further, raising his hand where her dagger was. She took it from his palm and studied the blade. Surely, there’ll be a time when she could finally let him meet his end, but it would not be at the present. She needs him to further her own plans, but the torment from his arrogance and smugness, how would she deal with it without itching to end his life?

Slapping herself from the thought, she proceeds to walk back to her quarters, itching to wash her hair as blood stained its paleness. Glancing at the shredded letter, still lying on the floor. 

A mere mortal can’t best her. She can never be his equal. Helene would make sure he knew it and would never forget. 

[suffarustuffaru]

I still need to catch up on re zero but I've seen a bit of spoilers of whatever's going on with Otto but I want know what you think Otto's reaction is going to be when rbd gets revealed like

ooh ty for this ask thats a really interesting question that ive totally not thought about a lot :o HAH but yes anyway. the short answer is that i think that ottos reaction would be Not Good. but it would be kinda good bc ottos strategic mind and undying loyalty to subaru Would be helpful to have.... bc yknow, otto would be a pretty reliable ally who'd KNOW about rbd.... but also NOT GOOD for the exact same reasons (strategic mind and undying loyalty). i just think that otto knowing rbd is gonna cause both him giving subaru some comfort (ie otto going “i know now all youve been through… please confide in me about it”) and A Lot Of Conflict (“haha you should simply stop using rbd so much ahahha”).

anyway!! the longer answer is that i think ottos reaction depends a little bit on if hes finding out rbd alongside other people or if hes the ONLY one to figure out rbd at this time. i think the more likely option in canon is that he might figure it out via restoring roswaal's tome hah, but yes i mean either way, otto finds out rbd and his entire fucking world is gonna get flipped on its head just like any one of subarus other loved ones finding out rbd. if ottos finding it out by himself, i dont think that he'd reveal rbd to other people unless he HAS TO, but he'd tell subaru he knows about rbd (if subaru doesnt know at that point) when he feels its necessary. but more on that later.

anyway in terms of ottos general feelings - yeah, like. a lot of them are gonna be all the usual things that you would feel around finding out that your dear friend has had this absolutely horrific time travel ability haaah... like the horror of "oh god how much have you used that", and then "oh god have i hurt and killed you before" and "oh god whats happened in all those failed loops. youve definitely had failed loops right ahah" and "THATS why you know so much shit you shouldnt know and thats why youre so so traumatized by shit i dont know. ohhhhh god" and "have you always had this power?? in the entire time ive known you??? oh FUCK" you know? like otto especially i think is very analytical about things. and hes uh. Anxious. so hes just gonna go aaaaaalll the way down that rabbit hole (................pun intended) of "what the fuck subaru" and "OH NO SUBARU" and like in general connecting all the awful puzzle pieces together of all of subaru's mysterious behaviors suddenly lining up with rbd..... its a HUGE oh shit moment.

and then otto is gonna go RIGHT into gameplan mode. emergency mode. i think hes just gonna put HIS feelings on the backburner (he might have to have a little breakdown first depending on how Bad it goes, but given this is RBD it most definitely hit otto with the force of a dinosaur) and then ottos gonna throw himself right into doing his "duty" as subarus friend. we kinda see this a bit in stuff like gluttony if where otto tells garfiel to get his shit together bc its only them left bc SUBARU KILLED THE REST OF THEIR FRIENDS.... and then otto feels numb seeing garfiel die and then distantly, iirc, thinks of himself as kind of a shit person for not feeling much about garfiel dying in front of him :( but yeah like. ottos good at throwing himself into THINK OF AND EXECUTE A PLAN TO SOLVE THIS EMERGENCY SITUATION NOW, HAVE ANOTHER CRISIS ABOUT IT LATER. esp when its SUBARU on the line here. and its SUBARU whos been lost a million times before otto found out already, which will most definitely be driving him insane 👍 ottos coping mechanisms (….punching walls…. alcohol……. working….. general bits of aggression….) are very like. numbing/lashing out kind of coping mechanisms. Solitary coping mechanisms. and i think he’s gonna prioritize subaru over himself and try to be subarus support and then go to Cope and Seethe in private where subaru cant see him HAHA. or right in subarus face bc otto has a tendency to do that too, depends on how Pushed otto is. either that or, like with garfiels death in gluttony if, otto is numbed by shock at first (….until the full weight of the reveal probably crashes on him at some point).

that and i think ottos gonna be coping anyway by being obsessive about subaru, as one does (ottos really normal) (very normal) (and very mentally well)

it depends on how rbd reveal goes, but the options like i mentioned earlier are probably gonna be

1. otto found out rbd alongside other people -> otto provides emotional and strategic support to subaru + the rest of the camp whenever possible but stays largely in the background until he feels he has to take any Drastic Options

2. otto found out rbd on his own (and subaru doesnt know yet) -> otto stays in the background and intervenes when he feels he Has To -> will likely only tell subaru he knows abt rbd when he thinks its the right time and then try to be subarus pillar of support

yep so!! in general, i think ottos closely gonna observe subaru from now on— i think otto would wanna keep tabs on subaru at All Times and know Basically Everything about what subarus doing now. i know that sounds like. extreme. bc it is HAH but i think itd be in line with what we’ve seen otto be willing to do to save subaru and their other friends (see: wanting louis/spica dead) (see: being perfectly fine with leaving 50 million people to die), and ottos uhhhh slight nonchalance about getting his hands dirty (see: launching bandits off a cliff in self defense) (see: being nonchalant about the murder mystery in the goddess statue side story) (see: ….his various deranged comments like how its fine if 50 million people die if it means saving rem and subaru) (see: his suicide note in arc 4)

otto knows abt rbd and the effect rbd has on subaru and how subaru WILL use rbd bc hes just THAT fucking crazy but also THAT well intentioned to use rbd like that. this is ottos worse nightmare by the time we get to arc 8– hes upset and scared of subaru especially putting himself in danger bc of good intent and his desire to save people. subaru wants to save the world bc its ALL important to him, otto wants to save ONLY who’s most important to him— ie, ONLY ottos inner circle. so ottos gonna be put into a panic. hes gonna double down trying to control subaru so subaru stops sacrificing himself bc haha who cares about all those other people??? i know you do natsuki-san but this is too high of a cost to you, youre TOO IMPORTANT (to me), you cant keep doing this so ill just have to stop you!!

so i think it might just escalate tbh. if otto doesnt know how rbd reveal is activated, hes gonna try real hard to figure that out. if he KNOWS, hes gonna start making up plans as he fucking goes bc i am NOT letting subaru die AGAIN if i can help it. if he finds out about the suicide pill???? time to consider the pros and cons of yanking that shit right out of subarus mouth. some random vollachian civilians just died???? well time to stop subaru from dying bc using rbd is NOT fucking worth it. especially for random ass people. if something bad happens, like garfiel or someone else dying, and subarus about to rbd? oh fuck, guess i gotta consider if i should let subaru die or force him to live against his will. and let garfiel die potentially forever. oh god if i let subaru die will he be dead in this world or will time just completely overwrite what just happened and i wont know?? OH GOD—

bc you know. assuming otto might be the one person knowing rbd in this hypothetical scenario… (or in general just me using otto as an example here—) once otto knowing about rbd gets cemented past a save point subaru has—the next time subaru dies, will otto be left behind in that world with a dead subaru?? or will the new timeline override the old?? its of course the same question asked in like the arc 4 second trial that subaru has but NOW its from a whole new perspective. otto could potentially be left behind in a failed timeline knowing subarus dead in his world but—is subaru DEAD dead?? or did subaru really go into a new timeline??? itd break otto. i dont think he could LIVE without subaru.

anyway yeah i dont think ottos gonna cope well under these circumstances either way hah but for the sake of everyone else otto would hold his shit together until it gets too much. and i think hes gonna rethink about how hes been willing to DIE for subaru in the past—hes gonna think about how many times hes died for subaru before, hes gonna think about how actually he wouldnt mind dying for subaru but he cant tell subaru that or subaru will be upset, and hes gonna think about how even if he dies for subaru now, is it still worth it when subaru will just do anything he can to reset and undo ottos death??? its a WHOLE mindfuck.

and i think if otto was in the situation of “should i tell anyone else about rbd”, he would choose no in almost all cases. its a lose lose if he does—he upsets subaru and he upsets whoever he tells. its a mindfuck to otto already and the dude can At Least compartmentalize. he knows sharing that secret is a hard thing to do, knows that its hard on subaru. at most i think otto might consider beatrice bc shes close to subaru but also like. hundreds of years old so she of course could carry that burden? and dont get me wrong emilia and garfiel are Very strong in their own right but its gonna hit them HARD hard (i think i talked about emilias reaction to rbd in another ask somewhere hah).

and also otto being the freak he is would want to have all the info he can weaponize to help subaru at. any cost. so also in a strategic sense he cant tell people. both bc revealing rbd publicly both upsets subaru and it would risk subarus mental/physical safety… and also bc otto being the one person who knows is like. I ALONE can make sure my plans go smoothly and no ones stopping me. subaru wont even know unless i HAVE to tell him. and ofc otto cant account for if subaru suddenly knows what ottos trying to do (prioritize subaru over literally everyone) but otto would try his hardest.

anyway!! i do think on another level like if otto knows and subaru knows otto knows i think otto WOULD be a good ally. like ottos smart and resourceful and all that— he can be the second strategist backing up subarus own strategy and power (prior knowledge bc rbd). otto can also support subaru the best he can emotionally about rbd— you know, like comfort subaru, tell him hes done his best throughout all these loops, etc etc. and ottos good at prioritizing too. hes cutthroat with it sometimes but he WOULD be good at like going “hey only one person died in this entire battle of hundreds of people, you cant use rbd its not worth it here. im sorry” or something. otto would basically be like echidna in greed if but better yes T^T

but like. i REALLY dont think otto is just gonna take subaru rbding lying down, it goes against everything otto stands for both morally and as subarus friend. but at the same time otto knowing rbd knows he cant exactly control subaru as much as he wants on that front. otto could try anything and subaru might already know everything ottos gonna try already bc subarus rbded before. subarus lived through this before. and theres a special kind of horror in that too of knowing your friend will have these spurts of suddenly knowing Everything youll do, knowing Everything you intended to do and you just know its bc your friend died and went back in time to do all of this now. absolutely horrific this would do a number on ottos psyche (and of course it already did many many numbers on subarus psyche hahaha…)

so in the end like—otto can be as stubborn as he wants and subaru can be as stubborn as he wants but if they decide to fight each other in this hypothetical scenario theyre gonna end up eternally being thorns in each others sides until it kills one or both of them at least once. but subarus gonna win out in the end bc of rbd, itd be up to otto to find a way to at least change subarus mind just a bit and restrict his rbd use some more. thats. uh. the most otto can do :(( be the support………………

yeah and if ottos finding rbd out alongside other people i think that all of the above that i just said would happen but more subtly. like otto would give his support to subaru and his friends (who’re also reeling from this info :,) ) and then in private otto i think would be like PLOTTING. how can i stop subaru from using rbd. how can i save subaru more. what actions do i need to take. how drastic do i need to be. IM the one who can get my hands dirty here in a way that subaru cant. etc etc :,)))) otto, you sneaky guy……

anyway ive considered making a “otto finds out rbd” fic before but never had specific plot beats so :<<<<< yeah like i said in this entire ask i have my Various Guesses on how otto would react to rbd!!

[twobruhsinahottub]

“--How are your migraines?”

A Rafael Barba / Rita Calhoun one shot

"--How are your migraines?" She'd asked him, and he almost thought he could hear love peaking through the dripping sarcasm in her voice.

Or:

Rafael has a migraine, Rita is there

Tags:

Rating:

General Audiences

Category:

F/M

Fandom:

Law & Order: SVU

Relationship:

Rafael Barba/Rita Calhoun

Characters:

Rafael BarbaRita Calhoun

Additional Tags:

Hurt/ComfortSick Rafael BarbaHeadaches & MigrainesAlternate Universe - Canon DivergencePost-DivorceHarvard UniversityRita and Rafael's Harvard daysand they were ROOMMATESThere Was Only One Beds17 e2 Criminal Pathology

Warnings: vomiting/nausea, abortion (both only briefly mentioned)

Fic:

"--How are your migraines?" She'd asked him, and he almost thought he could hear love peaking through the dripping sarcasm in her voice. God he hated her. That's what made her so perfect. Rita and Rafael. Enemies from heaven. Soulmates from hell. They had met at opening day at Harvard many years ago now, and it was love/hate at first sight. Rita was the only one in any of his classes to give him a real run for his money, and soon enough the two were sharing a tiny one bedroom apartment 15 minutes away from campus. The arrangement was for them to take turns, with one in the bedroom and the other on the couch, just until they could afford a bigger place. That was never going to last though, with both of them complaining so much when it was their week on the couch that they finally gave in a shared the double bed that took up almost the entire bedroom. It wasn't long before other friends caught on, nagging them about whether they were really just friends, or if something more was going on, because well, they did share a bed after all. Rita was there for him when they first got bad. He'd had migraines since his early teens, but they were always manageable with a few painkillers and a good day's rest. It wasn't until his third year of college that they really got bad. When they began knocking him out for three days straight and he'd have no memory of anything leading up to it. The first time it happened he thought that was it. He was dying. But no, just a bad migraine the ER nurse had told him, after Rita had taken him to the hospital, also thinking he was on death's door. He spent the rest of that night sobbing in between bouts of nausea and vomiting, and begging to sink into the floor and make it all stop. Rita held him that night, rubbing circles on his back and whispering soothing words while she ran her hand through his soft brown hair. Rafael often thought back to that night and how lucky he was to be loved by her, to see that soft, loving side to a woman who is usually so cold and borderline cruel. They spent many more days and nights like that over the course of their friendship, and eventual marriage. Rafael, a heap of tears and pain on the floor and Rita holding him and muttering sweet nothings to him in an attempt to make it all easier. He missed that, especially on days like this. While Rita had clearly been joking, trying to get a rise out of him as she often did, Rafael had a feeling she could see the signs. The aura he had felt that morning should have been a sign to take the day off, but of course, Rafael never took a day off work, ever, and especially not during a case like this. As he looked over the headlines on the papers his ex wife had dumped on his desk he felt the throbbing behind his left eye get worse. Despite taking medication for it before he left for work, the migraine kept getting stronger the longer the day went on. Rafael checked his watch. It hadn't been long enough yet for another dose of codeine, and really, he shouldn't even be taking this much, it probably made the migraines worse rather than better. Without thinking, he raised a hand to his forehead, a vain attempt at soothing the now almost unbearable pain. Rita of course noticed this.

“Hm” she acknowledged "the case really is worsening them, huh? What a shame it would be if someone were to use that to their advantage in court.”

The sarcastic comment earned her a glare from the prosecutor, and she backed off slightly.

“Really that bad?” She asked, sounding almost sympathetic.

“Mm” Rafael managed to get out, the pain now at a level that would have once had him out for days, luckily though, after decades of pain like this, he had learnt to push through. He knew Rita wouldn't drop it though. Her once snarky expression now replaced with genuine concern. No matter how hard either of them tried, despite their work killing their once happy marriage, they could not for the life of them manage to suppress the undying love they had for one another.

Now, Rafael noticed, Rita was making her way around to Rafael's side of the desk, gently dragging a chair along with her. She placed the chair next to him, and before sitting down, she strode purposefully across the room to close the blinds, knowing from years of dealing with Rafael's migraines that letting in unnecessary light was possibly the worst thing one could do at this moment. On her way back to her seat, Rita also shut off the overhead lights, and watched as Rafael noticeably sighed with relief. She knew it wasn't much, and his pain was still clearly bad, but the darkness would help. Rita sat in the chair next to her ex husband, and gently placed a hand on his back, and subconsciously, she began rubbing circles, just as she used to back in their college days. She hated to admit it, but she did truly love the man, and she knew he felt the same. If only their ambitions hadn't taken priority, and if only they hadn't let work destroy their relationship. Perhaps if Rita hadn't had the abortion those years ago they would be a happy family of three, or even more, right now. Instead of bickering over cases and plea deals they could be bickering over who would do the dishes that night, and ultimately settle on making the kid (or kids) do it instead. Thinking of this imaginary argument and family that she would likely never have, Rita placed her free hand under Rafael's chin, lifting his face to meet hers. The two met eyes, and against both of their better judgments, they leant forward, locking into a tired, but gentle, kiss. As the kiss depended, for just a moment Rafael's pain felt as though it lifted.l, and Rita felt as though that distant dream of being an old married couple with the man she had loved since day one of college, wasn't so distant after all.

[luciddreamslikeelectricity]

Thinking about this moment again......

I know people were shocked at how certain Tony was that the Avengers were going to avenge him if something happened/ rescue him the way they did in the next issue and I think that's ridiculous considering that the only time he genuinely knew help wasn't coming was when he was dying in the blizzard in Iron Man #182 and that was because he knew he pushed everyone away and, to paraphrase him, allowed his alcoholism to get as bad as it did. Normally, Tony has always had faith in his team (when written well, of course) so him expecting them to care isn't that surprising. He'd also just relived the events of the aforementioned issue in this scene and what he visualized when he woke up from that flashback was Iron Man's helmet. Remembering that he was a hero and was a part of something bigger than him is what got him back into action and he motivated by the desire to save Emma from the sentinels.

Him giving Emma his armour so she could escape is what I was actually thinking about. He called it repaying a debt and yes, she'd risked her life to save him before this happened and he never forgets a favour so that's part of it but also, Emma had no one at the time. She was so desperate that she'd resorted to making a deal with Fisk and unlike Tony, didn't have a team that would have her back. Tony knew that that was why Feilong wouldn't have killed him, not then, and that was part of why he was so sure, too. This part has actually been said in the book so it wasn't an observation, exactly.

My point is, one thing about this run that I really appreciate is that Duggan got rid of the idea that Tony has no friends or loved ones or that he was difficult to love or like and that's enabling him to write Tony the way he really is - someone who surrounds himself with good people, someone who is a part of the earth's mightiest heroes, someone heroic and kind and protective of innocent people, someone who didn't need to be lectured on how to be a hero 60 publication years into him becoming a superhero. Emma is so vulnerable right now, with most of her team, daughters, friends and loved ones gone and Tony is actually in a position to be someone she can lean on despite having troubles of his own, and I think that makes a lot of sense. I've heard talk about how he isn't taking care of himself/ needs someone to basically take over his life and I think people who think that way aren't appreciating what's really happening. The thing is, he's made so much progress in all of these years, progress that over fifteen years of Iron Man runs didn't really depict well, if they even acknowledged it, and we're finally getting to see the results of so much hard work on his part - he's on top of his recovery despite being in a position that is extremely triggering to him in multiple ways and it feels realistic. He hosted a Thanksgiving dinner (with Emma) for the others in the resistance and made a toast, he took Emma ice skating when she mentioned that she'd always wanted to do it and he's generally being emotionally supportive towards her. He also communicated his situation with Steve when him and Thor came to his rescue and I'm so glad Duggan didn't create any unnecessary conflict between them due to Tony clearly telling him why he shouldn't be seen having a support system because it would've become all everyone talked about. And now they've met multiple times and are working together, which I like. I like that Tony is working with so many Avengers in this run, too, because why wouldn't he?

The issues he's facing in this run are entirely to do with his technology being in the wrong hands on a much bigger scale than before, Rhodey being framed for murder and being in prison and until recently, in danger and figuring out how to fight back and, I don't know, I like that we aren't being bothered by unnecessary interpersonal conflicts that don't make sense for the characters or Tony's "difficult" personality being the cause of all his problems, which never made any sense for him.

[lesbianyosano]

there's still like two weeks until the next chapter release and obv there's no guarantee whose pov we're going to get, but i feel the need to talk about how i think fukuzawa needs to die and why it may happen now, during his confrontation with fukuchi at the airport

first of all, his ability. like many other abilities it's a plot device, used specifically to enable atsushi and kyouka to use their abilities in a controled way. this obviously works when they first join the agency, helping them regain agency over their lives in some capacity and learn how to utilize them in safe way. but for either of them (but atsushi specifically) to have a full and satisfying character arc they need to be able to use their abilities without an external factor. fukuzawa won't be in their lives forever (regardless what happens on the airport) and it would be,, anticlimactic almost to leave them only kind of in control of their own powers. also, in both their cases gaining control over the abilities isn't just a matter of harnessing power, it's about self-acceptance and reconciliation with their past. atsushi needs to come to terms with the tiger living inside of him the same way kyouka needs to accept demon snow's involvement in her parents death. fukuzawa's death is the only thing that can force them into further character development in this sense

another thing is just how much asagiri went out of his way to establish kunikida as the next ada president. don't get me wrong, even if fukuzawa never dies in the manga those chapters will still hold up both as an excellent character study and a fun information to have, but looking at them from the current perspective it's a chekov's gun. we are told exactly why it's supposed to be kunikida and that he's backed by the other agency members. and to add to that, the cannibalism arc establishes his own doubts regarding being expected to be the leader and his issues with easily shutting down when in extreme stress. i've seen people say that this is proof he's not fit for the position and that it should be ranpo instead, but to me that's just establishing a character arc, showing a flaw he'd have to overcome

and i suppose in general, fukuzawa dying would have an enormous impact of the agency members as a whole. just ranpo and yosano would be put into an extreme situation, where the person they're incredibly close with, who gave them a safe place to be themselves is now gone and they have to navigate the world on their own. and we have no idea how much all men are equal impacts everyone's abilities. im thinking specifically about kenji here. we know the reason he followed fukuzawa was so that he could get his ability under control but how bad is it without his help? is light snow even more powerful than shown until now? are the limitations on yosano's and kunikida's abilities arbitrary?

and the last thing is, fukuzawa's death would play well into the over arching theme of the death of the status quo. nothing will be the same after this arc, even if cleared of the terrorism accusation the agency won't just go back to how it used to operate, likely having to regain public trust.

so yeah i hope he dies and i hope fukuchi dies alongside him. i love you old men yaoi <3

[fatuismooches]

I've been thinking for a while after reading Mika's character story about Capitano's eyes.. You know in lazzo trailer, we can't see anything on his face except just a black void. Meanwhile in Mika's character story, his eyes glows which intimidate everyone when there's a confrontation between the Fatui and Varka's expedition team.

idk why but i feel like Capitano can make his eyes blaze with intimidating aura at his will? 🤔 (also, the fact that he didn't do that in lazzo trailer really shows how respectful he is towards his fellow comrades even though a lot of them are always mocking and bad mouthing each other except Pierro lol 😂)

I really want Capitano so badly 😭🙏 why he is so cool and mysterious.. I really can't get enough of him 😔 I'm already at 210+ intertwined fate now and still saving (thank u Mi/Hoyoverse for that free IFs in adventurer's hand book 🛐), i really hope that when his banner finally arrived, i can get him to C6R5 🛐💞

-🥝

(Thinking about florist!reader where they braid Capitano's long black hair with flowers when he is sleeping on their lap rn 😖💓🌺💐🛐)

That would be super cool! 🥺 I feel like he is a guy who avoids battle if possible, since he's respectful and all, so he just kinda. Intimidates others to back down. He's just a respectful guy in general, the first Harbinger probably can't be disrespectful to his comrades, all the npcs talk about his rep lol (I also think they didn't make his eyes blaze in the trailer because we'd never get over it. Okay and imagine- you have no idea what your husband's face looks like much less his eyes *arranged marriage sneak here* and then boom. One day he gets super overprotective of you become someone kept bothering you and all of a sudden you look up and see his piercing blue eyes... help me🙏 and then the angst of him avoiding you because he's scared about what you think of him now🙏 my English is probably bad rn but... i gotta get this out NOW)

You're literally the #1 capitano fan I can't imagine how much you're dying inside waiting for him😭😭 I can't wait to scream abt his lore w/ u omg... And dw with how far natlan is he's definitely getting c6r5 (I'm sorry that's so far away😭)

Omg I can either think about florist! reader from Mondstadt or Snezhnaya. Mondstadt would be cute because everyone there is pretty into flowers and stuff, there's even that flower shop at the gates, plus they'd definitely appreciate the flower love language the most 💗🛐 Meanwhile with Snezhnayan reader, he'd be intrigued at how dedicated you are to keeping these fragile lifeforms healthy in such perilous weather. Either way, you're giving me the picture of reader and Capitano basking in a flower field😔 (Imagine Capitano giving advice to his recruits about what flowers to give their lovers, they're so shook but their admiration soars through the roof)

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, third place poll of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

For the Doctor and the Master:

Immortal genderfluid war criminals <333

So we all know the Master has killed plenty of people, but, despite their reputation, the Doctor has killed a more than average number too. Sure they undid the whole destroying their own planet thing, but that's still something the Doctor did. Also there's apparently a novelization out there where, when they were children, the Doctor killed one of their childhood bullies but then made a deal with Death so that the Master had the memory of it and became Death's champion, which is pretty messed up and murder husbandish. There are plenty more war crimes on the Doctor's hands, and the Master has killed countless people in a variety of creative ways. Also, I'm having trouble finding the quote, but I swear the Master once said something to the lines of "trying to kill the Doctor is just my flirting" or something similar. But I do know Missy (also the Master but female at the time) described their relationship as "older than your civilization and infinitely more complex". They love each other, they're constantly trying to destroy each other, they are the only friends they each have who can even begin to understand everything they've been through; they've known each other since childhood and they've watched (and helped) civilizations rise and fall together. They may not be who you first think of for murder spouses but they really are a beautiful example.

[shmowder]

That's good info to know about your requests! I'm happy that general rqs won't be a problem because that's all my brain wants to come up with 😅

Thank you for the Stardew compliment :] I'm just about done with Spring year 1 and I blew all my money on the backpack upgrades (got lucky and grew a giant cauliflower!), and I'm constantly low on energy and running out of time to do things. Somehow this is reminding me of Pathologic 2 now, lol. I know that's typical of the early game. Still, it's comforting to know that other than a cutscene or two, there's nothing really missable as long as you have the patience to wait for the seasons to roll around again. Btw. The secret to getting to the lower floors in the mines quickly and without combat is to craft a bunch of staircases ;)

Anyway! I took a scroll through your whole blog and I must say the Daniil & Artemy treating the reader's "hysteria" concept? Inspired. Chefs kiss ✨

Who are your favorite adult characters in P2? Mine are Aglaya, Yulia, and Victor. Not that I can explain why but Yulia and Victor were the ones I was running around town like crazy trying to make sure they didn't die (along with most of the kids). Tmi time, I'm not often interested in men but I LOVE that sad old man.

I like Artemy and his little circle of old friends, too. Feel free to infodump, or not, if you want to ^^

🐿️ anon

Between all the Pathologic characters, I feel like only a handful would thrive as Stardew Valley farmers.

Daniil would want to replace Harvey's position since day one and never grow a single crop in his life.

Clara would depend on lucky drops, trash can dives and blackmailing Mayor Lewis about the gold statue money embezzlement fiasco to earn a living wage only for her twin to put his purple shorts in the soup pot during luau

Artemy would thrive there, I feel it in my bones. He would build a pretty good self-watering potato farm with a cow penhouse or two. Sticky and Murky would enjoy the Valley too, especially with all the supernatural things hidden around they can find.

And oh stairs in the mines! That explains why I progressed at the pace of a slug each day. I just raw dogged it each time and got my ass beaten only to grumbly go fish instead to unwind.

The thing with Stardew Valley is that there is no race against time so much but the limited Stamina and all the possible ways to upgrade and improve little by little each day makes it a game where the antagonist is your own ego. Or at least in my case, because I refused to use sprinklers that weren't iridum since what was the point!! But also, I finished an entire year without getting much iridium, so I was pretty desperate and burnt out from can watering every day by the time I did unlock them. Or how the npcs friendship depelates each day and it felt like such a personal insult to me to not have everyone like me so much at all times that I chased them every single day to talk and avoid friendship depletion.

I made Stardew Valley my own living hell by my own hands thanks to the stubborn human ego. Water by can everyday, chase down and talk to 30+ people everyday, only have enough time to progress 4 levels down in the mine before dying on the said 4th then rage quitting the game and reinstalling league like a normal person. If I'm going to get fucked by a game I rather it be my own teammates bending me over.

ANYWAY.

No I'm not finished.

Do you think Victor would do good in Stardew Valley? Not as a farmer but like as an npc. Oh god, can you even imagine what the kains would do to that town, I almost feel bad... almost. They'd perform all kinds of experiments to test the limit of that reality. They'd bother the wizard to work for them and lock the immortal farmer in some basement to find out just how they achieved the immortality.

He'd probably easily get people to follow him and rope the young adults into some utopian cult like he does in pathologic.

Yulia might chill there, becomes Gunther's roommate, visit the beach occasionally, and befriend Elliott and Leah. Yeah, I see Yulia getting happier in that town. Except for the occasional fits of saying ominous fate predictions she made about the villagers' future, to their face.

Aglaya would guillotine Mayor Lewis the second she steps a foot off of that train and into the town. And don't we love her for that!! My wife <33333

Okay now I am finished!

Hmm... My favourite adults. They're practically the same as yours, Aglaya, Victor, and Yulia. Oh, I really like Isidor too despite all the uh... non-fun things he has done.

I loved Aglaya even before the whole romance thing with Artemy which took me by complete surprise because I never expected to find romance in Pathologic of all things! Sure I knew about Daniil and Eva but thought they were a one off special case where it's mostly implied than obviously stated?

Then comes Aglaya, swinging and throwing you off your rhythm. You meet her and think, "Oh god, not another crazy person who talks sophisticated p throw-up nonsense and pretends its high-brow philosophy."

*Cough* The kains!!! *cough*

Like I absolutely did not care for her before meeting her. I didn't know her, and the cutscenes in the theatre about her the night prior felt like they were tying too hard to make me afraid of her. And I think they could've worked if approached differently. Only after meeting her and being faced with her brash brutal dialogue that I fell in love.

The biggest threat she resembled was death, and as a player, you know you have death immunity because who else would play the game, huh? So you never feel the need to tiptoe around despite her holding the power to immediately order your hanging outside.

I knew I was never going to die, so I never was careful with Aglaya. Although seeing that one cutscene of people lining up against the wall the day she arrives did make me feel a bit uneasy, especially with both Daniil and Clara there too looking almost intimidated.

The build-up to her reveal is so amazing. They show you the unmoveable power pillars of this town absolutely losing their marbles at her arrival. The same people who tried to manipulate you blatantly or never bothered to give you the time of the day were terrified to their core.

I don't think any other character gets as much reveal build up and theatrics about her like Aglaya. No other character in pathologic could cause the same stirr, could make the Kains, Saburovs and Olgimsky running around like headless chickens.

In P2, how worried everyone was when lining up outside the church to take turns and await their judgement. How it's the only time you ever see the stamatin twins out of their usual spots, the so proclaimed absolute freedom enthusiasts actually walking by their own feet to the inquisitor and follow direct orders! IT'S A CIRCUS SHOW!

Or the fact she literally puts up a hanging station right in front of the crucible, the kains' resident! The one family so obsessed with immortality and preservation are faced with the grim reality of not only death but being hanged to death by her, being killed, and put to display for everyone to see. Knowing she has the power to order their execution at any time.

What a power move of her.

AND IN FRONT OF THE POLYHEDRON TOO! Nine total nooses awaiting them. It's a direct threat she places in front of them with a clear message, behave or else.

You witness usually collected and rational Kains, the powerful leaders of this town, terrified to their core that day.

Georgiy isn't in his workshop like usual, he is standing outside to look at the symbol of death in the face.

Much like dads stand in the streets with their hands crossed to watch the aftermath of a car crash, except he is looking at the future with the implications it could be his very own car that ends up there.

He doesn't even talk to you, he's just staring. Dread sinking into his stomach as he watches the people walking in nervously before exiting the cathedral with their mind broken or tears streaming down their face.

The inquisition is absolutely terrifying. Especially when you consider how Nina on her own made the whole town walk on eggshells, how Aglaya's her sister.

Talking about Nina, guess who's portrait Victor sits on the floor in front of after seeing the hearing ropes outside.

Well...not her. I thought this painting was of Nina Kaina but apparently it's Maria's concept art which is kinda sweet.

BABY BOY IS HUGGING HIS KNEES

You talk to him and the first thing he talks about is the church and why they built it. How it distributes times to the clocks throughout the town.

How Aglaya's presence there is clearly affecting time and making it go faster, and yet Victor doesn't dare say a thing.

God, I love Aglaya. No one else could compare the aura of absolute power she is dripping with, the heavy presence she instils into the church. The walk up to her standing in front of a throne in P1.

There is also another scene where the executioners literally bow down to her as she arrives into town

While in P2, that imagery is replaced by her standing behind the gaint swinging pendulum of the church clock. It almost looks like a saw threatening to cut your neck off as you cautiously walk under it to reach her.

She arrives at the prime of conflict and plague, immediately gets down to business and stays awake for three whole days just to absorb as much information as she possibly can. She forcefully moves the plot along, opens the factories and pulls all the short strings of lies to expose them.

Not to mention how utterly massive the church is, it has three floors you can climb up to and even save your game in. Yet not a single soul is in there except Aglaya who easily fills up this empty structure with her own presence.

You make it past the hanging saw and reach her, only for her back to be kept turned towards you. You get the feeling that you're intruding on someone busy, the same churning of stomach you feel when you're just a kid nervously knocking on the school principle office and sitffly standing to the side, waiting for her to finish the paperwork before giving you permission to talk.

It's nerve-wracking how calm she is. If you cross her as the player, she immediately calls you out and reminds you who she is. Just who do you think you're talking to with that tone?

She is truly a mother's doll. The discipline, the respect she demands, the way you find yourself answering to her without question or second thought. She gives and orders, and it's carried immediately, no buts, no arguing and no talking back.

In a way, she does bring justice to Farkhad without being aware of it. He's been killed long ago by the Stamatin twins, or at least that's major theory, and he's the one who made the church. How fitting it is for the person who wants to destroy the polyhedron as revenge for her sister to seek shelter in the same church of his making.

As a final note, the inquisition symbol "the steel heart" greatly looks like her.

This is Aglaya Lilich. This symbol is absolutely how the entire world views her. A heart of steel and a frost dagger of a stare. You look at this and immediately understand you are in trouble. You made a mistake, and you must get punished for your sins. For your betrayal.

The top part reminds me of steppe symbols and sigils, it almost looks like Samn the circle of life.

She is always depicted as above people, as your greatest nightmare and investable demise.

-

I planned on talking about Victor and Yulia too but Aglaya stole the show and honestly I can't blame her.

Since they are your favourite characters however, and mine lmao, I'm very confident that you already get the basics and understand their core concepts.

So instead, I'll talk about the small easy-to-miss details I've noticed about them!

Starting with Victor, he is actually a very loving parent. He admits to missing Caspar, he has many pictures of Maria hanged around his wing of the crucible both in P1 and P2.

Which is so endearing with how he wants to appear rational and nothing else 90% of the time. How his way of speech is almost mechanical, unlike other characters, it doesn't matter what you say to Victor Kain because he rarely reacts to your words. He is straightforward and is only interested in saying what's on his mind, not in what you have to say about it.

And yet, he openly admits how much he wants his son back, Caspar.

He is one of the people who ordered the tower to be built, this is his life purpose and what's his entire family has been working towards since the beginning.

Yet he can't help but resent it for stealing his son.

Victor still does everything in his power to protect the power, that monster keeping his kid estranged to him, to be a good brother and keep true to his words, to fullfill his promises to his family, to truly build a utopia and change the world.

And it's chipping away at his sanity.

Imagine how he feels seeing Maria grow and lose her sense of being as she transforms into a mistress. As she desperately tries to fill the empty vacuum of space Nina left behind.

How did the father feel watching his little daughter stand in front of a mirror, same one he hanged in her room, trying on her late mother's crown and watching it slip off no matter how desperately she attempts to keep her head held high... But it's just too heavy.

He wanted to tell Caspar to come home, he wants to tell Maria to live her age and not let this town consume her like it did to her mother. But his two brothers keep his hands tied, they told him not to interfer with the kids in the polyhedron, Maria barely listens to him or acknowledges him has a dad, a father yes but not a dad.

In another twist of fate, both him and Aglaya share that habit of telling people to stay quiet for 40 something seconds while they think. They probably both learned it from Nina in the past.

In P1, the crucible design had more space and rooms. It looked like actual people lived there. You can even find Khan's room next to Maria's, you see his untouched furniture and the toys on his shelf, you see the two pairs of wooden practice swords on his desk and wonder if his dad made them for him. A picture is painted before your eyes of a younger Victor teaching a 7 year old Caspar how to hold a sword, how to swing, and how to block.

Did he let his son win? Did he surrendered after they sparred just to see a smile on Khan's face?

In P2, the door to his son's room is blocked.

You don't get to see many traces of Maria's childhood in her room, both in P2 and P1. Like she grew up too fast, or as if she threw out all the evidences of her past to make way for her future, slithering like a snake and wrapping itself around her to suffocate her and call it love, to restraint her and paint it as absolute freedom, to isolate her until all she could hear is the whispering of her mother's corpse from the grave.

It's like he knows he doomed his two kids by bringing them into this world. That they could never be kids once they were born Kains.

That they might not even survive.

-

For Yulia, i didn't talk to her much at the start of the game because I was performing an exploit. The game only acknowledge the existence of an npc once you actively talk to them. If you don't, then they aren't considered a possibility yet and can't get infected.

You have two chances to talk to Yulia at the start for flavour text, once at the Olgimskys' balcony and another at the makeshift theatre hospital. Afterwards she forces you to talk to her by sending you a letter to come to the trammel.

Listen- It was one less person to cure/protect from infection and I did what I needed to do. You can do this with Khan too actually, but it does mean failing a side quest and subsequently getting an entire area infected.

It is funny it a way how if you just don't talk to people and do only your main quests, they never get infected.

Wait is the game saying that the player is the actual plague in this situation wait hold on w-

Anyway Yulia! Lesbian Icon. She has a heavy implied relationship with Eva in P1 when Clara is trying to take advantage of Eva to manipulate Yulia into... yk a little trip the underworld. Tho it's only evident in Clara's route? Take my words with a grain of salt, I'm not sure how accurate their relationship was implied in p1.

You don't get any of that in P2, sadly. Or maybe it's just the Haruspex's route? In P1, as Artemy, you literally never have a single reason to talk to her once, not a single quest require her.

The only time I talked to her was like on day 10 or 11 because I was around the area and curious since we haven't even met yet. It was a nice talk, she's very polite and interesting with her words. Ik people like to compare her to Daniil Dankovsky and his obnoxious speeches.

But I think Yulia is a better conversationist than him. She explains herself more than him and doesn't necessarily come of as condcending but only passionate, Daniil talks over you while Yulia talks to you. It feels like she is coming to the conclusion just as she is explaining it to you while Daniil is revising a rehearsed speech he undoubtedly practiced before.

The interesting detial I noticed about her is how she is humble despite meeting all the required qouta to be a utopian. She is a genius through and through, and her ideas about fate and time overlap with the kains. At times, she is willing to put herself in danger just to see an experiment done. even just out of curiosity.

And yet, she is not one of them.

Instead, she is placed within the redemption-seeking sinners and helpless saints. She is in the same shoes as Lara who wants to do good but feels utterly powerless, in the same situation as Rubin who was the best student there ever was and yet none of his effort was ever enough.

Yulia is clearly keeping a secret, some side we aren't shown ingame. An effort to put some worth on a life she deems wasted.

She is gentle with the Haruspex in P2.

Yulia clocks you, Artemy, as someone who thinks with their heart since the start. She admits you will be able to see and understand things most people can't because of that, things she herself can never comprehend.

It's not even a backhanded compliment. Both Yulia and Daniil think with their brain, yet when met by someone driven by heart and emotions like Artemy, Daniil refuses to acknowledge your methods and clings to rationality while Yulia understands how both methods are of importance and to not underestimate you.

By the end, she offers you to be her assistant. You. Someone who doesn't like big words and doesn't know a lick of Latin. She sees great potential in you and is impressed by how you saved the town.

-

lmao what was very long. It took a couple of days to write but I enjoy it and it was fun! I wanted to include more pictures but alas the pictures limit in a single post is cruel.

I hope you enjoyed reading it! I'm unsure of how much to explore when it comes to each character in these posts because what if I'm just retelling something you already know?

On the other side, what if I go too niche and the reader can't relate or understand what I'm saying? Honestly it's headache inducing. I haven't been feeling well lately, life and all.

But there is beauty in creation and in talking about details in other's creations! So many games and stories have such thoughtfull details and subtle notes put into them, I adore digging for symbolism wherever I can find it. I feel like a detective hehe.

I hope your day is going well <3 I was thinking lately about how much I like the emoji you chose for your anon. Mostly because I saw a truly mind-boggling anon emoji choice in another blog- So bad I almost thought they were trolling- but they weren't.

Meanwhile a squirrel is literally amazing! What a great choice! Now I just imagine a tiny squirrel coming in my inbox leaving letters and eating the peanuts I leave Aaaa my heart <3333

[karizard-ao3]

That is so very Eren to just quietly and comfortably run the idea past her. Like of course he wants to marry her but he needs to see where she’s at mentally and emotionally, so if she was happy with the conversation of their friends getting married and also the topic in general, maybe them getting married isn’t a far off dream. And yeah she’s still a little tense about it, but she thinks about all those secret Pinterest boards and she can practically already see the ring on her finger so she gives him her queue that it’s something she’s into. Just very simple, both on the same page.

How do you imagine he did the actual proposal?

(I'm going to try to be better about linking related posts. This is the first ask about Anamnesis Eremika getting engaged.)

I have two proposal scenarios for you, because Anamnesis Eremika never do anything the straightforward way when it comes to their relationship.

Fitst proposal: I think they're at home watching TV. Maybe even one of the shows Mikasa worked on. Two characters get married and Eren is like, "You know, I think I'd like to marry you," super casual and low pressure. Still, this is the most direct he's been about the subject since he first brought it up at Historia and Ymir's a few months ago.

Mikasa is quiet for a long time and he's not sure she heard him, and then, blushing like crazy, she says, "I'd be okay with that."

Eren grins down at her, thrilled. "I'm going to start planning the proposal."

Mikasa starts to look nervous. She's looking forward to seeing what Eren comes up with and she doesn't want to miss out on it, but she's starting to realize there's a lot of time in between now and the proposal and the ceremony in which to spiral. For her, marriage is a really loaded topic, given that she had been kidnapped to become [redacted]'s child bride and if it was anyone but Eren suggesting it she would be out the door and changing her name in a heartbeat. She chews her lip. "Is it crazy that I kind of wish we could just get married today and then do all the other stuff after?" she says.

"What, like you want me to marry you, then still propose to you?" Eren clarifies.

That sounds so ridiculous when he puts it that way. "Nevermind," she says. "I was just... It just sounded... It's fine."

"I think it's a great idea," says Eren.

"You do?" says Mikasa.

"Yeah!" says Eren. "I'm so fucking impatient, I'd be dying waiting to marry you. I wouldn't be able to enjoy the process at all."

Mikasa's eyes light up. "Really?"

"Yeah!" says Eren. He slides off of the couch and down onto one knee, taking her hand in his. "Mikasa, would you like to elope with me today?" He doesn't have a ring so he kisses her on the finger where the ring would go.

"Let me get dressed and then let's go," she says. "I mean, yes!"

They pack an overnight bag and get on the tube to one of the states where they can get a quickie wedding, then get a room for the night because they might as well sightsee while they're out of town. Later, once they're officially husband and wife, Mikasa shows him the Pinterest board of non-traditional engagement rings she's been curating as a hobby ever since she met him.

Second proposal: They don't tell anyone they're already married, which is fun because it feels like they're being bad but they really aren't. Mikasa's parents invite them and Levi and Eren's parents over for Christmas. Eren's gift for Mikasa is huge. It almost doesn't fit in the tube's luggage compartment with their bags and there's a very real possibility they're going to have to pay for a second tube just to transport it. He's wishing he'd asked Levi to take it in his car for him. Luckily, they manage to rearrange everything and get it in. Mikasa can't imagine what he got her but she's thinking it might be some kind of kitchen appliance. She hopes it's an air fryer while also knowing she'll be disappointed if her gift is something so practical.

When it comes time to open presents, Mikasa doesn't think much of it when she peels off the wrapping paper. She doesn't even notice that Levi has started recording on his phone. She opens the lid of the box and finds... Another wrapped present. She shoots Eren an amused glance, then unwraps that one, too. It's another box. She unwraps that one, too, and then the next, box after box. She's laughing, Ryu is cracking up, her parents are making jokes, Levi's telling her to hurry up and open it, and Eren's parents are groaning good-naturedly about how difficult he can be when he wants to be. It's a really beautiful moment for her, to be here with both of their families and to feel like she actually belongs and is wanted by all of them.

When she finally gets down to the last box, Eren interrupts. "Let me open that one for you," he says, reaching in among the cardboard and wrapping paper and taking out a velvety ring box. He cracks it open and, on one knee, holds the engagement ring out to her. "I've loved you from the first moment I saw you, when you turned around in line at that coffee shop and told me I stank. I haven't stopped loving you for a moment since. I will never stop loving you. I love you so much that it echoes across universes, through every version of me I've ever met. I can't imagine the emptiness of a life where I can't be with you." He starts to tear up a little bit. Mikasa is staring at him, spellbound. The moms are trying not to squeal and the dads are nodding their approval to each other like, this is how a man proposes. Levi is stoic but inside he's an absolute blubbering mess because his scared, sad little girl is smiling at Eren like she doesn't have a single ounce of fear left in her and, when Eren says, "Please, Mikasa, will you let me be your husband?", she throws her arms around him and says, "Yes!"

Of course, he is already her husband but that's just a formality. He feels like it doesn't really count until after they say their I dos at the wedding and he can tell everyone he's got a beautiful, actress wife.